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    Is it just me, or have porn companies been dropping the ball in terms of creativity? It seems like every scenario you click on is recycled from the same source material. You know where I'm going with this: the pizza delivery guy with "extra sausage," the random woman on the street who needs a ride, has no money, and gets f*cked in a van instead and all that mess.

    10 Porn Scenarios For The Millennial Generation
    While recent movie releases are no different (hey there, "Ghostbusters!"), porn is a precious property for men, and virtual reality porn (porn's latest innovation) is unaffordable to the masses. I don't know, I guess I just don't want our children growing up with the same stale ideas we have. You know? They deserve better.

    This is why I've compiled the following porn scenarios. New, bold ideas that aren't shitty parodies borrowed from even shittier movies or media for the younger, millennial generation. Ideas they can get behind and relate to (for the most part). Here are 10 scenarios below.

    1. Pokémon Go-ers Catch STI's
    This one is easy and very budget-friendly for amateur filmmakers breaking into the industry. Now let me set the scene: Two aimless twenty-somethings are out for a stroll through a woodsy park with their eyes glued to their phones hunting the same obnoxiously chipper Pikachu.

    During their relentless pursuit, the two unknowingly bump into each other. Since millennials often live their lives online and are not used to physical contact, both are evidently aroused from the encounter, see that they're alone in the intimate woodsy setting, catch Pikachu and then have anonymous, unprotected sex. Boom!

    10 Porn Scenarios For The Millennial Generation
    2. The Tinder Bot Is No Bot At All
    A young man is taking a shit while browsing through Tinder at work. He comes across an unexpectedly sexy woman not even a mile away, who he proceeds to swipe right and match with.

    Not long after, this low-level executive receives a message from said female to find out she's hungry for his junk. Starving, even. He dismisses this profile as a bot and continues to shit.

    Not taking no for an answer, the profile then provides evidence that she is indeed the real deal, and is actually shitting in the female restroom of the same building, because everybody on Tinder is pooping; this is fact. The two finish, wipe, close the app, and have raucous sex in his boss's office after-hours.

    3. Dude Sends Dick Pic; Woman Actually Likes It
    Instead of saying hello, Ted prefers to open dialogue with strangers on dating sites with a graphic dick pic, followed by an obnoxious "You like?" (with emojis). The response he receives is usually the same, and it's completely ineffective.

    Except this time, he's not being legally or violently threatened by the female. Instead, the image is countered with a compliment and an address. Ted drives to said address and the fun begins. Or at least it's supposed to.

    When Ted drops by, the female recipient discovers that the dick pic he sent was a lie and the size of his member was about half of what was pictured. It is eventually discovered that the picture wasn't of his penis at all, but that of Orlando Bloom's. More specifically, a cropped image of his penis while paddleboarding naked with Katy Perry. For porn purposes, the two have sex anyway.

    10 Porn Scenarios For The Millennial Generation
    4. Guy Goes On Grindr, Has Sex With A Man, Maintains That He's Straight
    High school quarterback downloads Grindr knowing full-well it's a hookup app for gay men. He contacts somebody, has anonymous sex with him and maintains that he's still straight despite having enjoyed this consensual sex tryst, as well as having Grindr on his smartphone, which he insists he downloaded by mistake.

    10 Porn Scenarios For The Millennial Generation
    6. The F*ckable Catfish
    Man finally meets the woman who has been catfishing him for two years. Instead of calling MTV, he decides to take matters into his own hands and do the same elementary, surface-level investigating the show does. Eventually, the man approaches the real person he's been talking to for years. And guess what, it's not her. He's pissed, but decides she's still hot enough to f*ck. So they f*ck.

    7. Guy Gets Supremely Drunk; Penis Still Works
    Okay, so this one isn't just relatable to millennials, but for all men. It's nothing short of a miracle when this happens. Like, you drink way more than expected, and retire the thought that you'll be having sex that night because your penis will have the general feel and texture of chewed gum. But guess what, as if by magic, you're rock hard and ready to penetrate. Finishing is another thing, but hell, at least you're hard!

    10 Porn Scenarios For The Millennial Generation
    8. Gamers Have Gamer Sex
    A misogynistic gamer is pwning n00bs on "Call Of Duty," as is per usual on his Saturday nights. One evening, however, he's no longer the lead scorer on his team and discovers -- after mouthing off multiple 12-year-olds who insist on shouting racist obscenities -- that said lead-scoring gamer is female. Having found a reciprocal adoration for each other due to their superior talent, the two enter a private channel to chat and have phone sex while their characters try to simulate sex by kneeling in front of the other on screen.

    10 Porn Scenarios For The Millennial Generation
    9. Crash And Smash
    While driving and peering down at their cell phones (one catching a Pokémon, the other taking a selfie for Snapchat) two vehicles collide and the police are called. Since the police always take too long to arrive at the scene, the two begin chatting and eventually recognize each other from Tinder. While arguing about who's fault it is, the two get incredibly turned on and begin to have angry sex on the side of the road as pedestrians also take selfies and catch Pokémon. It's deep, you know? Meta.

    10. Wrong Snapchat ID Turns Out Right
    Sean adds Rebecca to Snapchat, believing she's the girl he met at a party the evening prior. As such, he sends a few flirty pictures to get the conversational ball rolling. Sean later receives a few pictures back to discover this is not the girl he met, but instead a busty blonde who likes sending nudes of herself in the shower. He masturbates to a few of her pictures and videos, climaxes, gets bored and deletes her. That's it.

     

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    What's better than a burn? A burn that is done and shared on the internet for all of us to enjoy as well. That's why the burns below are so damn satisfying -- but that's mainly because we weren't on the receiving end of things. Check out the brutal burns below, and say a prayer or two for the victims.

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received

    These People Are Going To Need Medical Attention After The Burns They Received
    h/t Izismile

    Here's more to enjoy: The Best Internet Burns And Comebacks To Shut People Down

     

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    Thanks to Ryan Lochte and his lies, the last week of the Olympics had to take a backseat, as the majority of people were focused on whether Lochte and his pals were robbed at gun point in Rio. Here's a hint: They weren't. Now Lochte's pitiful interview with Matt Lauer has been turned into an auto-tuned song you'll be singing all day.

    Thanks to The Gregory Brothers, follow Lochte as he sings about just being a drunk frat boy, while footage of his interview, as well as footage of Al Roker yelling at Billy Bush, make up the hilarious video. Check it out below:


    Well, at least his dumb decisions led to this doozy.

    h/t Huffington Post

    In case you missed it: The Best Photos, Memes And Tweets From The Rio Summer Olympics

     

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    I know, I know. "Stop with the Kardashian crap!" you will all shout from your computers. To be fair, though, isn't this what they are actually good for? I say yes, but if you disagree, feel free to leave. If you are willing to consider my opinion on the matter, then keep scrolling down and decide for yourself.

    Like I stated above, Kim is "back" to posting hot pics. Check it out:

    👀

    A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on


    Get it?! Because she's showing off her ass. But let's not forget about her front:

    Selfish in Mexico

    A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on



    Nice. Oh, and here's Kim in a see-through top with some other hotties:

    Beach selfies of course! 🐚📷🐚

    A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on



    Wonderful! Finally, here she is twerking in a pool:

    In honor of @styledbyhrush birthday a month ago LOL she taught me how to twerk on this trip so I'm posting it for her 😜

    A video posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on



    Keep up the good work, Kardashians!

     

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    A general rule when it comes to food, especially when it's made by someone you love, is to just choke it down no matter what it tastes like. The wife who left this note with her husband's sandwich wanted to make damn sure he knew that, too. And just to be crystal clear, she even took it a step further to squash any argument over the matter right then and there.

    wife's subpar sandwich note
    That's fair. And hey, at least he scored some sweet candy out of the deal. Everybody wins!

    via Reddit

    That's the second best note we've seen all month: Girlfriend's Note About A Scary Bug In The Shower Has Quite The Payoff

     

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    For whatever reason, the Little League World Series seems to bring out the best in humanity.

    Whether it's boys and girls finding pleasure in riding a cardboard box down a muddy hill in center field instead of the usual afternoon of sitting in front of a television playing on their Xboxes, or watching a kid actually hustle down the first base line and beating out a ground ball to short and proving that playing hard does indeed pay off sometimes, the LLWS is truly a unique sporting spectacle that has the ability to put smiles on the faces of kids of all ages.

    There's also the fact that every team's manager is mic'd up for viewers at home to listen in on the words of wisdom they have for their pitchers. Or in the case of Oregon coach Joel Jensen, it's a chance for a few million people to watch as he tells his son Isaiah that he loves him:


    Powerful stuff.

    In the words of Carl Spackler, "Tears in his eyes, I guess."

    h/t Barstool Sports

    And here's what it looks like on the exact opposite end of the Little League spectrum:Woman Hit By A Baseball Sues 11-Year-Old

     

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    How do you like them apples?

    Some dick in Atlanta recently approached a man at a gas station as he made his way back to his car. Words were exchanged, and the dick tried to show that he meant business by displaying his 9mm handgun.

    Without as much as a flinch, the car owner continued to walk away from the dick before reaching into his ride and pulling out...wait for it...his AK-47.


    Oh, well allow me to retort.

    If the video looks familiar, it's probably because you've already seen the Australian version:


    h/t MediaTakeOut

    Somebody call police because he's got a gun! Oh wait, it's just a Terminator cutout: Toronto Cops Respond To Report Of Guy With Gun, Discover It To Be Just A Terminator Cutout

     

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    Here's a hint: If he would have made it, it wouldn't have been a story.

    According to CNN, a Pittsburgh man reportedly only injured his ankle when he tried to impress a girl by jumping from rooftop to rooftop and came up short. You also have to think that he's dealing with a pretty battered ego, too, after the stunt went awry and he had to be pulled out of the gap between two buildings by paramedics and police.

    man tries to jump from rooftop to rooftop, doesn't make it
    The man reportedly met the woman earlier in the night near a local Qdoba and eventually convinced her to join him on the rooftop of the building where the Mexican restaurant is located. He then tried to impress her by jumping to the next roof over, but he wound up wedged between the two buildings after he came up just a tad short.

    Responding rescue personnel not only had to rappel down one of the buildings, but they also had to dig through layers of a wall made of brick inside the Qdoba to get the man out of his predicament safely. The entire rescue operation took four hours, and he was eventually taken away by an ambulance.


    And that, kids, is just another reason why you always start with simply paying for her dinner and movie during the initial phase of impressing a woman.

    #AbsoluteDipshit: Moron Attempts Backflip In Restaurant And Doesn't Even Come Close To Landing It

     

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    Hailey Clauson is blowing our minds again with her latest Sports Illustrated video, strutting that sexy body across some classic Coney Island theme park rides. Not to be confused with the infamous nip-slip video with SI Swimwear, Hailey is giving the island a retro look as we take a roller coaster ride with her and Nina Agdal in nothing but teeny bikinis. We should warn you: The video ahead continues monumental underboob. Even we had to hold onto to something for support. Now let Hailey Clauson slay your eyes some more before your boss comes to check on what you're doing.

     

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    Gather around, people. Let us gawk and schmooze and wish we were able to live in one of these palatial gigantes without putting any work in. Because in most of the following cases, that's exactly what happened. We now present to you some disgusting celebrity homes. Yuck.

    Kylie Jenner
    celebrity mansion that will disgust you, kylie jenner mansion
    Price: $6 million
    Location: Hidden Hills, CA

    Photo cred: VeryBestHome.com

    In May, the 19-year-old heiress and Instagram personage snagged this $6 million Hidden Hills home. She just completed high school, by the way.


    Kylie Jenner's Workplace
    celebrity mansion that will disgust you, kylie jenner workspace
    Price: $4.5 million
    Location: Hidden Hills, CA

    Photo cred: Zillow.com

    Mere months later, junior Jenner purchased this humble shanty as a workplace for her cosmetics line. It is located next to her other home, totaling eight acres of prime LA County real estate.


    Paris Hilton
    celebrity mansion that will disgust you, paris hilton mansion
    Price: $5.9 million
    Location: Beverly Hills, CA

    Photo cred: HorasMinutosySegundos.com

    The Princess of the Hilton Hotel empire purchased this Mulholland Estates home in 2010. But she also owns a $5 million Manhattan penthouse and a $325,000 mini-mansion for her dogs. For. Her. Dogs.


    Miley Cyrus
    celebrity mansion that will disgust you, miley cyrus mansion
    Price: $6 million
    Location: Hidden Hills, CA

    Photo cred: Luxeo.com

    Billy Ray and Trish Cyrus transferred it to Miley's blind trust in 2012, but she spends most of her time in a $3.9 million Studio City home. The Studio City pad sits on 5,173 square feet of property.


    Snooki
    celebrity mansion that will disgust you, snooki home
    Price: $2.6 million
    Location: New Jersey

    Photo cred: Daily Record

    Snookie, her husband Jionni Lavalle and their two lovely children moved into this luxury home in Florham Park in January 2015. However, Snooki says she's "overwhelmed" by the hugeness of her home. Wouldn't we all love to have that problem?


    Beyoncé & Jay Z
    celebrity mansion that will disgust you, beyonce and jay z mansion
    Price: $45 million
    Location: Holmby Hills, CA

    Photo cred: la.curbed.com

    Jay Z, Beyoncé and their daughter Blue Ivy recently moved into a $45 million palace in Holmby Hills. It is near the Playboy mansion and the property boasts an Olympic-size indoor and outdoor pool, formal gardens and a waterfall.

    The combined billion-dollar net worth of Beyoncé and Jay Z also affords them a $65,000 a month apartment in Trump World Towers, a mansion in Westchester County and a $9.3 million mansion in South Florida.


    Petra Stunt
    celebrity mansion that will disgust you, petra stunt mansion
    Price: $85 million
    Location: Holmby Hills, CA


    Built in 1988, Aaron Spelling put his vast wealth on display after purchasing "The Manor" for $15 million. In 2009, it was put on sale for $150 million. At the time, it was the most expensive real estate listing in the entire country. British socialite Petra Stunt, when she was a mere 23 years old, bought the 123-room, 56,500-square foot castle for $85 million in 2011. It is said to have a bowling alley and an ice rink.


    Kim Kardashian & Kanye West
    celebrity mansion that will disgust you, kim kardashian kanye west mansion
    Price: $11 million
    Location: Bel Air, CA

    Photo cred: HomeBunch.com

    Located at 11790 Southampton Ct, Bel Air, CA 90077, the Kimye Klan recently put $2 million worth of renovations into it. It has a bowling alley, a basketball court, an indoor and outdoor pool, a movie theater, a gym and a full hair and makeup salon. Armed guards and roving security keep watch 24/7, so don't go to that address unless you want to get lit up.


    Rihanna
    celebrity mansion that will disgust you, rihanna mansion
    Price: $12 million
    Location: Pacific Palisades, CA

    Photo cred: MyFancyHouse.com

    Rihanna's home in the Pacific Palisades is currently on sale for $14.59 million, if you want to pony up the cash. After living there since 2012, she left the location at 932 Rivas Canyon Road due to stalkers. No one has bought it, but it is being rented out for $100,000 a month.


    Kevin Federline
    celebrity mansion that will disgust you, kevin federline home
    Price: $2.5 million
    Location: Calabasas, CA

    Photo cred: Zimbio

    Though not exactly a "celebrity" or a "mansion," Kevin Federline rents out this Calabasas crib for $8,000 a month. Seems he fell into some money along the way, but I'm not sure from where. Anyway, this Spanish Colonial home has five bedrooms, a library, a game room and a theater.

     

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  • 08/24/16--04:15: Today's Funny Photos
  • I'm a man of few words, which is why I'd prefer to let today's batch of funny photos speak for themselves. Because at the end of the day, who wants some long spiel about how these are the most gut-busting, sidesplitting pictures and memes you are ever going to see? Everyone already knows that's true, and those who say it isn't are just big fat liars who are wrong and stupid idiots.

    ...see, that's why I usually stick to the whole "man of few words" policy.

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz
    What good are funny photos without more Funny Photos?

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz
    FUNNY PHOTOS!!!

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz

    funny photos, funny memes, funny pics, lolz
    Seriously, you checked out our Funny Photos page yet?

     

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    A-holes -- can't live with 'em. But unfortunately, we're forced to. The worst part of all is that it becomes more apparent with each passing day that they aren't going away anytime soon. Photo roundups like these shouldn't even exist, and yet there are literally hundreds (if not thousands) of them on the internet. You might as well practice clenching your fists and teeth tightly now, because after a few of these, you'll be doing it involuntarily.

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks

    proof that assholes will always exist, people being jerks
    h/t Pleated-Jeans

    All of the people above seem so familiar: Face It, Some People Are Just Plain Old Jerks

     

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    When it comes to acting, you want to make yourself stand apart from the herd. These actors, with their extremely distinguishable traits, have done just that, so much so we can barely watch a movie without having these strange quirks in our binge-heavy lives.

    The Seth Rogen Laugh

    Though the characters may change, the laugh never does. There's something about that Seth Rogen laugh that just screams "stoned muppet," and that alone we can't stop laughing at.

    The Tom Cruise Sprint
    10 Actors With Extremely Distinguishable Traits
    Not only does this guy know how to age gracefully, he knows how to run like an Olympic athlete, despite being over the age of 50. See any Tom Cruise movie and see the classic Tom Cruise run, never wavering in its intensity and impressiveness. There is nothing cruisey about that jog, practically karate chopping with every flick of the elbow.

    The Bruce Willis One Liner With Cheese
    10 Actors With Extremely Distinguishable Traits
    From the yippee-ki-yays to another mid-action catchphrase, Bruce Willis knows how to perfectly bake an action sequence with cheesy comedy. It has become such a running joke that he even gets roles basically making fun of the way he does it, like in the recent "Rock the Kasbah."

    The Nicolas Cage Bad Hair Day
    10 Actors With Extremely Distinguishable Traits
    Up there with the John Travoltas of the world, Nic Cage's terrible hairstyles have a role of their own in movies: being just awful. We're not sure if it's his real hair, but then again, who would ever get fake hair that looks that bad.

    The Jennifer Aniston Hard Nip
    10 Actors With Extremely Distinguishable Traits
    There really isn't much we need to say about this, other than it's fan-freaking-tastic.

    The Larry David Staredown
    10 Actors With Extremely Distinguishable Traits
    No season of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" is complete without the classic Larry David staredown. It's the ultimate human lie detector test.

    The Adrien Brody Award-Winning Nose
    10 Actors With Extremely Distinguishable Traits
    Adrien's Academy Award-winning nose for "The Pianist" made him the youngest man with a golden statue. But just because he hasn't won more of those prestigious honors in the last 13 years doesn't mean his nose has let up at all. That schnoz has never been bigger or stronger, and with a new production company and a number of big changes on the way, he's going to need it to sniff out his next big move.

    The Sean Connery Speech Impediment

    Never mind his speech, how about his stance on hitting women! Connery has, quite possibly, the most distinguished speech for an actor, outside of Arnold, who is pretty much speaking his own language.

    The Christopher Walken Talk

    We take that back. Christopher Walken has the most impersonated voice in the acting community. It's not so much his dialect or his native tongue, but just the uniqueness of where he pauses with his words. And his inflections matched with the facial expression are just tops.

    The Magnum Mustache
    10 Actors With Extremely Distinguishable Traits
    Tom Selleck might have been hiding his erection all those years on "Magnum P.I.," but he's also rocking one impressive stache. As opposed to the most pathetic celebrity men mustaches, people like Selleck and Burt Reynolds need their lip hair to separate the mighty from the weak.

     

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    Since nobody cares about my opinions on sex, it's probably best I leave it to the beautiful, famous and rich. Because everyone knows they are above us, right? And while we've read hilarious celebrity quotes on sex, it's time for more celebs to chime in on sex.

    Jennifer Lopez
    15 More Celebs On Sex

    Cara Delevingne
    15 More Celebs On Sex

    John Stamos
    15 More Celebs On Sex

    Alec Baldwin
    15 More Celebs On Sex

    Gwyneth Paltrow
    15 More Celebs On Sex

    Louis C.K.
    15 More Celebs On Sex

    Aubrey Plaza
    15 More Celebs On Sex

    Rashida Jones
    15 More Celebs On Sex

    Frank Zappa
    15 More Celebs On Sex

    Heidi Klum
    15 More Celebs On Sex

    John Mayer
    15 More Celebs On Sex

    Ashton Kutcher
    15 More Celebs On Sex

    Olivia Munn
    15 More Celebs On Sex

    Martha Stewart
    15 More Celebs On Sex

    Rihanna
    15 More Celebs On Sex

    ​​​​​​​Via The Chive

    These celebs need some help: 12 Celebrities Rumored To Be Terrible in Bed

     

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    If you watched "SummerSlam" over the weekend, you probably saw the grisly mess that Brock Lesnar made out of Randy Orton's face to close out the show. Lesnar, who drifts back and forth between sports entertainment and pro wrestling depending on who pays him more, split the Viper open with sickening elbows before the ref ended the match. The WWE tries to stay away from the red stuff these days, but blood has been a vital part of wrestling storytelling for decades. Let's take a gory trip through 10 matches that would make a vampire stand up and cheer.

    And heads up, some of these pics are tough to see.

    Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker
    The Bloodiest Matches In Pro Wrestling History
    For all of his physical gifts, Brock Lesnar tends to shed blood pretty easily. The first time he met the Undertaker in Hell in a Cell at 2002's "No Mercy" pay-per-view, both men found themselves leaking red fluid all over the cage. Taker went into the match with a broken hand, and quickly used his cast to bust Lesnar's head open. Brock answered back with disgusting strikes and Taker bladed as well, giving both men a crimson mask. Lesnar finally hoisted a blood-soaked Undertaker onto his shoulders for an F5 and the win, and this was the match that in many ways cemented his position as one of the company's top stars.

    Eddie Guerrero vs. JBL
    The Bloodiest Matches In Pro Wrestling History
    Before his tragic death, Eddie Guerrero was one of the wrestling world's most charismatic stars, an undersized performer who made it to the top with a never-say-die work ethic and insane charisma. At the 2004 Judgment Day pay-per-view, he faced John Bradshaw Layfield, who was then running a Trump-style "protect the border" gimmick. The match started with a brutal chairshot, with Eddie cutting his forehead open to produce more red stuff. Unfortunately, he struck an artery with his razor blade, creating an all-out bloodbath that literally had the mat looking like a Jackson Pollock painting. Guerrero's blood loss was so severe that he went into shock backstage after the match.

    Tully Blanchard vs. Eric Embry

    Southwest Championship Wrestling was one of the grittiest local territories in the country. The feud between Bob Sweetan and Tully Blanchard was white-hot, and when the cowardly Blanchard stepped into the ring with rookie Eric Embry he had a point to make. Blanchard just beats the holy crap out of Embry, dropping knees and elbows to his face climaxing with a shot to the dome that cuts him open and soaks his blonde mane with the red stuff. The USA Network used to pull SCW shows from the air when they got too bloody, and this is a textbook example. Blanchard, as a classic heel, doesn't even pin Embry when he has him beaten, just returning to punish him more and more.

    Megumi Kudo vs. Shark Tsuchiya

    Women's wrestling is undergoing a new wave of interest in the United States, but over in Japan the ladies have been doing it for themselves for decades. The rivalry of Megumi Kudo and Shark Tsuchiya was white-hot during the 1990s, and in 1995 they took part in one of the goriest matches of all time. With the ropes replaced with barbed wire, these two tore the living hell out of each other for almost a half hour, both of them bleeding from multiple cuts all over their body. Kudo's face gets the worst of it, as by her final pin of Shark her features are barely visible under a thick mask of blood.

    Terry Funk vs. Sabu
    The Bloodiest Matches In Pro Wrestling History
    We couldn't put together a list of insanely bloody wrestling matches without making a stop or two in ECW, the upstart promotion that brought ultraviolence to the masses in the late 1990s. At the Born To Be Wired pay-per-view, Texas legend Terry Funk squared off with the homicidal, genocidal, suicidal Sabu in a barbed wire death match. Both men got the bad end of the wire on multiple occasions, but Funk took the worst hit. A stray barb tore open one of his biceps, and he had to roll to the outside and seal the grisly wound with athletic tape. Chaos reigned throughout the entire match, and ECW never did the barbed wire rope gimmick again.

    John Cena vs. JBL
    The Bloodiest Matches In Pro Wrestling History
    What is it with John Bradshaw Layfield and leaving his opponents bloody messes? A year after his match with Guerrero, JBL faced John Cena in an "I Quit" match at Judgement Day. Cena, well-known for pulling out all the stops in the ring, also took a brutal chairshot to the dome. And Cena also bled a gusher, turning his face into a crimson mask. The match continued, with Cena's entire upper body eventually getting soaked with blood. After ramming JBL's face through a television monitor, Cena got the victory. The gory display was so intense that that it ended the long-running rivalry between the two, with Cena being traded to Smackdown the next night.

    Necro Butcher vs. Samoa Joe
    The Bloodiest Matches In Pro Wrestling History
    One of the most unpredictable professional wrestlers of all time, the Necro Butcher was a lanky West Virginia lunatic in a "CHOOSE DEATH" T-shirt known for his insane tolerance for pain. His matches were bloody, terrifying spectacles, and when he faced equally stiff Samoa Joe in IWA Mid-South in 2005 it was an absolute bloodbath. Necro got busted open early on and managed to keep trading shots with Joe for the next 10 minutes, a constant stream of blood pouring from his face. The announcers are literally screaming "Someone's gonna die" into the microphone as these two dudes hammer the living Christ out of each other. By the end, Joe is literally painted in Necro's blood.

    Vince McMahon vs. The Undertaker
    The Bloodiest Matches In Pro Wrestling History
    Love him or hate him, you can't question Vince McMahon's devotion to the pro wrestling business. The multi-millionaire WWE owner has put his own body on the line multiple times to get talent over, and what other CEO would literally spill his blood in front of a paying audience? At the 2003 Survivor Series, the feud between Mr. McMahon and the Undertaker came to a head as the two fought in a Buried Alive match. Just seconds in, Taker nailed Vince with a shot to the face that busted him open, and he bled like a faucet through the entire contest. It was a terrifyingly grisly sight to see, but it's only one of several notable Vince bladejobs. He's a boss who wouldn't ask you to do something he wouldn't do himself.

    Mass Transit & D-Von Dudley vs. The Gangstas
    The Bloodiest Matches In Pro Wrestling History
    Extreme Championship Wrestling was notorious for pushing the limits of good taste, but letting an untrained 17-year-old kid in the ring might have been a step too far. When Axl Rotten failed to show up for a tag team match, booker Paul Heyman let a big-bodied fan named Eric Kulas sub for him. Kulas, as bus driver "Mass Transit," immediately got beat to hell and cut open by Gangsta member New Jack. His forehead wound would take 50 stitches to close up. The gory bloodbath would have serious consequences for ECW -- Kulas had lied about his age to get in the ring and proceeded to sue the company. The case was thrown out, but it helped cement ECW's reputation as the most dangerous company in the business.

    The Great Muta vs. Hiroshi Hase
    The Bloodiest Matches In Pro Wrestling History
    Japanese wrestlers are noted for practicing "strong style," putting a little more oomph into punches and kicks to make their matches more believable. So when they bleed, they bleed big. When the Great Muta and Hiroshi Hase faced off in New Japan in 1992, they spent the first 15 minutes of the match with fast-paced, highly technical wrestling. Then Muta goes to the outside to introduce a foreign object, Hase grabs it from him, and the gore starts to flow. Over the next 10 minutes, Muta's red juice gets all over his own face, Hase's body and the ring. It's a grisly spectacle that is legit difficult to watch.

     

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    Spoiler alert! None of them are sex faces. Still funny, though. I hope they're all okay.

    sex face stubbed toe face, girls who stubbed their toe

    sex face stubbed toe face, girls who stubbed their toe

    sex face stubbed toe face, girls who stubbed their toe

    sex face stubbed toe face, girls who stubbed their toe

    sex face stubbed toe face, girls who stubbed their toe

    sex face stubbed toe face, girls who stubbed their toe

    sex face stubbed toe face, girls who stubbed their toe

    sex face stubbed toe face, girls who stubbed their toe

    sex face stubbed toe face, girls who stubbed their toe

    sex face stubbed toe face, girls who stubbed their toe

    sex face stubbed toe face, girls who stubbed their toe

    sex face stubbed toe face, girls who stubbed their toe

    sex face stubbed toe face, girls who stubbed their toe
    Via Izismile

    Related: Waterslide Face or O Face?

     

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    You know what, thinking back now, all those plates of broccoli don't seem so bad and I wish I hadn't thrown such a fuss over eating them when I was younger. I mean, I could have had a dad who encouraged me to eat the "warm, quivering heart" of a deer. Which is exactly what one little girl did.

    A New Zealand hunter is getting bashed left and right for sharing a photo of his eight-year-old daughter taking a bite out of the heart of her very first deer kill. Awww, precious moments. Take a look at the photo shared on the New Zealand Woman Hunters Facebook (which is currently shut down), but heads up: It's quite brutal.

    New Zealand Dad Shares Photo Of Young Daughter Biting Heart Of Freshly Killed Deer
    And look what this proud papa had to say about it:

    New Zealand Dad Shares Photo Of Young Daughter Biting Heart Of Freshly Killed Deer
    People of course were pretty disgusted by the picture. Just take a look at what these folks think:

    New Zealand Dad Shares Photo Of Young Daughter Biting Heart Of Freshly Killed Deer
    But Chloe's dad is still proud of his little killer:

    "Chloe has been coming hunting with me since she was eight months old on a front pack," he told BuzzFeed. "This was her first deer. She has shot a goat, and been target shooting."

    Go Chloe! Next stop? "The Hunger Games."

    More precious moments: Video: Lion Attacks Two Douchebags Trophy Hunters Posing With Lion They Just Killed

     

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    There's nowhere to take a decent nap these days and feel comfortable doing it. And when you do let your guard down and just go for it, this happens. We're not complaining, though. It's pretty hilarious. We're simply advising you to always be on the lookout. You never know when you're going to become a Reddit sensation.

    sleeping girl photoshop, psbattle reddit
    And now, let the PSBattle begin!

    sleeping girl photoshop, psbattle reddit

    sleeping girl photoshop, psbattle reddit

    sleeping girl photoshop, psbattle reddit

    sleeping girl photoshop, psbattle reddit

    sleeping girl photoshop, psbattle reddit

    sleeping girl photoshop, psbattle reddit

    sleeping girl photoshop, psbattle reddit

    sleeping girl photoshop, psbattle reddit

    sleeping girl photoshop, psbattle reddit

    sleeping girl photoshop, psbattle reddit

    sleeping girl photoshop, psbattle reddit
    OK, that last one is just wrong, which means the internet is the exact same as it ever was.

    Just to reiterate, never fall asleep in public: This Intern Fell Asleep At Work, So The Internet Became His Photoshop Nightmare

     

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  • 08/25/16--04:20: Today's Funny Photos
  • It's that time again, folks! Time to forget all the horrible things in your life, like how much debt you're in or how your ex is dating your best friend, and just focus on some laughs. Granted, you'll probably be back to feeling terrible once you finish scrolling through these, but hey, it was good while it lasted.

    Bryan's Funnies

    Bryan's Funnies

    Bryan's Funnies

    Bryan's Funnies
    You need more Funny Photos in your life.

    Bryan's Funnies

    Bryan's Funnies

    Bryan's Funnies

    Bryan's Funnies

    Bryan's Funnies
    Might as well get more Funny Photos in while you can.

    Bryan's Funnies

    Bryan's Funnies

    Bryan's Funnies

    Bryan's Funnies

    Bryan's Funnies

    Funny Photos

    Bryan's Funnies
    More, more, more Funny Photos!

     

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    Our funny GIF collections are normally just that -- a collection of funny GIFs. And this week, of course, is no exception. However, since we aim to please, we'll throw in a special prize at the end for all the scrolling we've caused you.

    funny gifs, gifs of the week
    Get back to the broad! (said in my best Mayor Quimby voice)


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, teeball kid somersaults to first
    Leave the gymnastics to the gymnasts, kiddo.


    funny gifs, gifs of the week
    On second thought...


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, gymnast fails
    I guess that tee-ball kid had serious chops after all.


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, man ride on car crash
    They see me rollin'.


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, canadian police chase
    It's hard to keep up with all the action.


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, swimming pool balance beam fail
    A visual representation of board to death.


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, zoo lion attacks glass
    Lions...


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, zoo tiger attacks glass
    ...and tigers...


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, headbanging bear
    ...and bears! Oh my! (but only to the first two, really)


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, strong man throws woman one arm
    I'd never heard of nonviolent strong-arming until now.


    funny gifs, gifs of the week, chinchilla with balloon
    See! Totally worth it now, right?

    Everything looks better in hindsight, including last week's hilarious GIFs.

     

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