- RSS Channel Showcase 4891701
- RSS Channel Showcase 5332576
- RSS Channel Showcase 7976620
- RSS Channel Showcase 6614412
Articles on this Page
- 08/30/16--07:04: _Oregon Girl's Senio...
- 08/30/16--07:07: _Dads With Obese Son...
- 08/30/16--07:20: _12 Kinds Of People ...
- 08/30/16--07:34: _Here Are Two Bats H...
- 08/30/16--08:10: _'Sesame Street' Aft...
- 08/30/16--10:20: _The Greatest Asses ...
- 08/30/16--10:26: _Guess What: Dogs Ca...
- 08/30/16--17:02: _It Truly Is The Gre...
- 08/31/16--04:27: _Today's Funny Photos
- 08/31/16--05:19: _Gwyneth Paltrow's S...
- 08/31/16--05:32: _24 Pathetic GoFundM...
- 08/31/16--05:50: _The Craziest Crimin...
- 08/31/16--06:19: _Hamster With Tiny C...
- 08/31/16--06:28: _Weird News: Naked M...
- 08/31/16--06:48: _Young Woman Discove...
- 08/31/16--06:50: _16 Ways Video Games...
- 08/31/16--08:06: _Girl Still Loopy Fr...
- 08/31/16--10:20: _What Each Style of ...
- 08/31/16--10:34: _If You're A Racist ...
- 08/31/16--12:05: _Lady Goes Bonkers A...
- 08/30/16--07:20: 12 Kinds Of People You'll Find At Any Wedding
- 08/30/16--07:34: Here Are Two Bats Having Sex At The Ravens-Lions Game
- 08/30/16--08:10: 'Sesame Street' After Dark Will Completely Ruin Your Childhood
- 08/30/16--10:20: The Greatest Asses Of Hollywood, Ranked
- 08/30/16--10:26: Guess What: Dogs Can Understand Everything We're Telling Them
- 08/30/16--17:02: It Truly Is The Great Outdoors When Sara Jean Underwood Is Involved
- 08/31/16--04:27: Today's Funny Photos
- 08/31/16--05:19: Gwyneth Paltrow's Secret Cookbook That No One Has Ever Seen
- 08/31/16--05:32: 24 Pathetic GoFundMe Accounts That Are No Joke (But Kind Of Are)
- 08/31/16--05:50: The Craziest Criminal Disguises
- 08/31/16--06:19: Hamster With Tiny Cast Gets The Big Photoshop Makeover It Earned
- 08/31/16--06:50: 16 Ways Video Games Make Humans Better
- 08/31/16--10:20: What Each Style of Condom Says About You and Your Penis
- 08/31/16--10:34: If You're A Racist A-Hole There's An Anonymous Meeting Just For You
- 08/31/16--12:05: Lady Goes Bonkers After Car Accident, Clucks Like A Chicken
I'm pretty sure my mom still has my senior photos, mainly as a nice reminder to herself of when she thought I was going to be someone (sorry again, Mom). And while the senior photos of many young people are done without an issue at all, a poor girl from Oregon had some company in her photos that she didn't ask for.
Jillian Henry from South Eugene was all smiles during her photoshoot by a lake -- that was until some random dude decided to appear in the back. And oh yeah, he was completely naked. Henry tweeted two of the photos. Check them out below:
love my senior pics 😊 pic.twitter.com/LMzc1RlCGU— jillian henry (@jill_henn) August 28, 2016
And now check out the naked guy, who probably has no idea he is all over the internet, just as he had no idea he was in the middle of a photoshoot.
Now those are memories she'll remember when she's laughing maniacally trying to desperately to pay off her loans.
And then you have these folks: People Accidentally Ruining Photos Are The Best Photobombs
My grandma used to make us run around in the backyard for a number of reasons, but I remember one of them being because she thought that "the bigger the belly, the smaller the schwanz."
Well, it turns out she knew exactly what she was talking about.
According to The New York Times, a large number of doctors have experienced an influx of dads who are concerned about lack of promise below the belts of their fat sons.
One pediatric urologist at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia said he sees "dissatisfaction with the phallus very regularly."
"With 10- to 11-year-old boys, a common thing is, my son's penis is too short," said Dr. Aseem Shukla, who is also an associate professor of urology at the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania.
While most of the children who are brought in after the "newborn period" have twigs and berries that fall in the "normal range," Shukla said as each kid's waistline increases, so does the worry about whether or not he's been shortchanged in the boomstick department.
"The penis can be buried in the fat pad that sits in front of the pubic bone, and it can remain hidden as boys go through adolescence. What is called a 'hidden penis' can be a combination of being prepubertal (so the penis has not begun to grow), being overweight (so the fat pad is significant), and in some cases an anatomical condition in which the soft tissue below the skin of the penis doesn't adhere well to the Buck's fascia, the thick covering that surrounds the penile nerves and arteries. This fixation problem can yield what Dr. Shukla described as a 'slidey' penis, in which the actual shaft retreats and only the skin, or the foreskin, in an uncircumcised boy, is clearly apparent."
And there you have it. It's not like we needed another reason to get our kids outside and active, but maybe the threat of waddling around with what is deemed a tiny pecker for the rest of your life is exactly what this country's youth needs to get it back on a healthy track.
They don't have this problem in Brazil: Which Country Has The Biggest Dicks In The World?
Every wedding has the guy who got away (several times). This person has made it their life's work to never be committed to anything other than a good time.
The Exiled Guy Who Skipped the Bachelor Party
Some assholes get busy, or just get smart about going to Las Vegas. Remember the last time when he ate the pot brownie and couldn't tell one casino room from the next? Yeah, he's not coming to your bachelor party. Better seat him alone in the corner with no supper.
The Crying Hopeless Romantic
Pretty much any single girl who wants to be married already is going to be as sad as she is envious, scrolling through her list of phone contacts trying to drum up old love in a failed attempt to be the next bride.
The Happily Married in Public/Miserable in Private Couple
They look so cheerful when they're together, at least until you drop by for a quick pop-in and they have their hands around each other's necks screaming "do it!" back and forth until your awkward knock breaks it up.
The Weird Guy Who Moved Away and Came Back and Nobody Noticed
He was there, then he was gone, now he's back again? Where'd he go? Did he really leave? Do you care? Does anybody care? No, but you'll get drunk and forget you saw him, and the cycle will continue.
The 86'ed Townie Who Found Out About the Open Bar and Decided to Make an Improv Speech
He isn't allowed at his usual drinking bowl anymore, so he's on the prowl looking for new places to make racist, sexist and political slurs. Free booze? That's his top pick, and he'll thank the bride and groom by making a horrific speech no one can either comprehend or forget.
The Home Wrecker
This is Casanova's counterpart, only the two work as independent contractors. Occasionally, they'll exchange notes, but for the most part they're too busy destroying marriages and looking a bit too exotic for a wedding.
The Unemployed Guy Eating All the Shrimp
He hasn't eaten all week. What did you expect with the free jumbo shrimp?
The Sober Friend Using His Pregnant Wife As An Excuse
You'll try to get your friend to stay out late and make bad decisions with you, strolling the wedding grounds until sunup when you pass out by the pool, but he'll leave shortly after dinner to pretend nursing a plastic baby as prep for the real deal.
The Guys Who Weren't Invited Yet Drink the Bar Dry
Who doesn't want to go to a wedding? It's free drinks and hot, single girls. It's like backstage at Aerosmith; you'll do anything to get there.
The Groomsmen Who Hate Their Outfits
Never has a groomsman said, "I love this jacket you made me wear, so much better than how I would have wanted to dress myself!" Then smile and have your picture taken, again.
The Asshole Friend You Avoided All Year
You were doing so well, but there's no avoiding it. Surely there won't be any drama with alcohol involved. Guarantee the first thing out of his mouth is, "Hey, look who decided to show!" And he wonders why you never call.
And these are things you can expect: The 13 Most Annoying Things That Happen At Weddings
Odds are that when the Ravens and Lions met in Baltimore for a preseason football game Saturday night, you missed it because you were busy doing anything else.
After all, last year's Ravens team was one of the worst in all of football, losing 11 of 16 games and damn near finding their way into the AFC North cellar in the process. The Lions weren't much better, finishing at 7-9, which I guess technically qualifies as a successful season in the Motor City these days.
The point is, since the starting players on each team's roster are so pathetic, odds are the third-string and practice squad players chewing up the clock in the second half of Baltimore's 30-9 victory were pretty much unwatchable.
So then why in the hell are we even talking about a preseason game between two of the league's worst teams? You guessed it: Two bats were caught having sex on the field during the game.
And there you have it. The Detroit Lions were not only outscored by the Ravens Saturday night but also by two horny bats.
Those bats probably scored more than these bald quarterbacks, too: All 32 of Today's NFL Starting Quarterbacks If They Were Bald
It was all fun and dandy when the "Sesame Street" pals performed some Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, and even when they took on DJ Jazzy Jeff, but the after dark version of "Sesame Street" is pretty terrifying, and downright offensive. Check out just how damn brutal those puppets get when the sun goes down.
Blame Julia: Watch Julia Louis-Dreyfus Curse On 'Sesame Street'
So much, in fact, that thousands of women (even some men) have undergone elective surgery to reap the unattainable asses of Hollywood's hottest celebrities. According to statistics from the American Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, over 21,000 patients underwent butt augmentation surgery in 2014, an 86 percent increase from 2013.
Surgeons claim Kim Kardashian is the main inspiration behind these surgeries, and Kim's actually one of the many celebrities included on this exclusive list you've just clicked on.
This list is a compilation of the greatest asses in Hollywood. Given this task (one that I don't take lightly), I've taken a close look at the greatest celebrity asses and judged them on three not-so-simple categories: (1) look, (2) texture and (3) talent. Based on these categories, I present to you, the greatest asses of Hollywood.
10. Pippa Middleton
The royal wedding was a media maelstrom that saw women waking up in the early, early morning to witness Prince William marry his wife, Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton. Apparently, it was quite romantic.
9. Eva Mendes
Eva Mendes is sex on a stick. A stick that happens to boast incredible curves. In fact, YouTube user and possible pervert "AmazingAssCelebs" agrees, and was wonderfully generous when he created a video completely dedicated to her so-called "perfect ass." See it here.
~ Download the new single, CAN'T REMEMBER TO FORGET YOU ft. @badgalriri - from Shak's new album, coming March 25! - on iTunes worldwide now. ~ Ya pueden bajarse el nuevo sencillo, #CantRememberToForgetYou con #Rihanna - del nuevo álbum de Shakira que será lanzado el próximo 25 de Marzo - ya está disponible en iTunes ShakHQ
I know Shakira's not really that relevant anymore, but the talent encompassed in those hips that refuse to lie are certainly worthy of mention. Shakira was shaking her ass long before twerking was sensationalized, so I must give credit where credit is due.
Beyonce is untouchable. If you speak one word of ill-will about the pop icon, the illuminati will assassinate you. This is fact. Since that's the case, all I will say is that Beyonce's booty is nice, but it's nothing great. (Please don't kill me!)
Perhaps this is because her booty hasn't been surgically altered, which is definitely worth mentioning when considering others on the list, but she is still the entity responsible for coining the term "bootylicious," which is not only a word I refuse to use in this article because of its pop cultural implications, but can now be found in the Oxford English Dictionary as well.
6. Sofia Vergara
Sofia Vergara is the personification of feminine sexuality. Her body is like an artist's sculpture of the female ideal and to my knowledge, she's 100 percent the real deal. It's a shame about that obnoxious accent, though.
5. Kylie Jenner
While undeniably fake, her current ass shows Jenner's surgeon did some good work. It was money well spent. But since she's put more emphasis on her lips than her ass, it doesn't seem right to place Jenner any higher on the list.
Seeing as Jenner is only 19, we can assume her ass will only get better as she matures, and we look forward to seeing what pending surgeries can do to Kim's future replacement.
4. Nicki Minaj
Minaj's "Anaconda" video pretty much solidifies her rank in this article. She can work that gigantic ass with the best of them, which is no easy feat when your ass is three to four times the size of the average citizen's.
Personally, I think Minaj's ass has gone too far. It's too big. While her shape looks nice in videos and various media that can properly dress and digitally alter her shape, when you see that thing in profile without any photo treatments, it delivers almost an opposite effect. That baby's going to sag. It's going to sag hard.
3. Amber Rose
Some of you may not be familiar with Rose, but she's an ex of both Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa who's evidently made the most of her 15 minutes of fame by posing nude, twerking on Instagram and becoming something of a feminist activist despite doing things that convey the opposite. But hey, we're not complaining.
What puts Amber in the top-three tier are her booty's incomparable talents. As a former stripper, Rose knows how to work her glutes in ways that are nothing short of fascinating. I'd pay very good money for front row seats to see that thing in action and you would too. Don't believe me? Check this video out.
2. Kim Kardashian
While one could argue that Kim's ass is just as big (if not bigger) than others' I've already referenced as "too big," all I can say to that is Kim's butt is arguably more famous than Kim herself. And Kim's pretty damn famous.
Kim's ass is a national treasure. An imprint in society that will be referenced when our children have children, and so on and so forth. While sure, the amount of money that goes into maintaining that thing could probably pay for my house in a year, there are few asses that have made as much of an international impact than Kim's has, as fake or authentic it may be.
1. Jennifer Lopez
This was by far the easiest decision I had to make on the list. JLo's infamous ass has withstood the test of time and has only gotten better with age. She is, in a way, the OG of ass fascination.
Lopez's delicious derriere was the first ever admired in such a frenzied way and it's one that continues to please. If any of you disagree with my decision to put Jennifer Lopez in the top spot, all I ask is that you check out her video for "Booty" and try to dispute this. Just try it.
Would you look at that, dogs understand everything we're trying to tell them, so it turns out my dog understood how broken I was when I used to vent to him all the time about my day's misery.
And we can thank Hungary for it, because a group of Hungarian researchers recently published a study that proves our canine pets can process words and sounds on the same level we do.
As an experiment, researchers trained puppies to sit still for seven minutes in an fMRI scanner to measure their brain activity. That was followed by the researchers saying typical words and phrases that we say to our pet dogs ("Sit," "Good boy," "What is the meaning of life?"). And it seems like the puppies' brains reacted the same our brains do.
It seems like the puppies' brains were stimulated when words were said in a positive, soothing tone.
"It shows that for dogs, a nice praise can very well work as a reward, but it works best if both words and intonation match," a researcher with the best job ever said.
And according to researchers, dogs being able to discern between words and tones probably happened way before they were domesticated 15,000 years ago.
In conclusion, dogs will always be smarter and better than us.
Are we sure they understand us? Photos Of Dogs Sitting On Other Dogs Will Have You Howling With Laughter
It's no secret that Sara Jean Underwood is one of the hottest models on the planet. But I bet you didn't realize that much like us, the planet is quite fond of her as well. Or so it would seem based on her latest batch of Instagram photos and videos. Don't believe us? Well, then try this latest gem on for size:
I don't know about you, but I could certainly go for a peaceful stroll through some tall grass. Or maybe fishing. Yeah, fishing sounds even better.
Here's a few more nature shots you might enjoy, Earth lovers. Again, be sure to follow Sara on Instagram and Twitter for plenty more where these came from.
Just to reiterate once more: Hiking With Sara Jean Underwood Seems Like A Pretty Good Time
It's hump day, and you know what that means -- three more days of solid work. But on the bright side, at least Friday is the start of a long holiday weekend. However, since that doesn't do anything for you here and now, we provide you with the latest batch of funny photos to keep your spirits up. Among other things.
Keep this Funny Photos train rolling.
OK, the boss left. Back to Funny Photos.
Always end on a strong joke. If that doesn't cut it, then simply check out yesterday's Funny Photos again.
Gwyneth Paltrow may not be your favorite person, but...well there's not much more to the story than that. If you needed yet another reason to be annoyed with her, we just discovered a secret cookbook she put together that has gone unseen until now. It may be the most useless cookbook that's ever been assembled. If you can't cook, this is going to get you nowhere.
Related: Is The Cheesecake Factory Menu Too Long?
The whole GoFundMe idea is good-natured at its core. But like all kind gestures, people sought to take advantage of the crowdfunding website's potential almost immediately. Where you might see an unexpected accident that leaves someone with an overwhelming amount of medical bills as something worthy of raising money for, the following people seem to have a different idea of what warrants support. Much different.
And yet this one is too far?: Model's GoFundMe Campaign Shut Down For Offering Nude Photos To Donors
The thing with disguises is that you don't want them to slow you down, because you are still committing a crime. So the idea of putting on a full-body Gumby costume to knock over a convenience store probably wasn't a good one. Jacob Kiss (in full green clay boy regalia) and an accomplice went into a 7-11 in San Diego and told the cashier to open the register. Naturally, the employee thought that it was a wacky YouTube prank or something and didn't play along, but when Kiss started fumbling in his costume for a weapon he called the cops. They didn't take long to bring the duo in, and both men pleaded guilty to misdemeanor burglary.
They say you can use duct tape for just about everything, but Ashland, Kentucky, man Kasey Kazee maybe should have thought twice before wrapping it around his face as a disguise. In 2007, Kazee walked into Shamrock Liquors and demanded that the clerk open the register. Noticing that he didn't have a weapon -- and was wrapped in tape -- the man behind the counter grabbed a baseball bat and chased him out of the store. Cops picked Kazee up soon after, and he went into a hilarious videotaped tirade where he denied being the "Duct Tape Bandit" even as cops pointed out the tape marks left on his face.
If you remember the first "Jackass" movie, this one will look pretty familiar to you. In that, Johnny Knoxville and his cohorts got dressed up in staggeringly realistic old age makeup for the film's climax. Drug dealer Shaun "Shizz" Miller was obviously inspired by that scene when he tried to dodge the cops in 2016. With a warrant out for his arrest, Miller spent several months wearing a disturbing-looking rubber mask that made him look 50 years older. Police had been staking out his mother's house but never paid much attention to the elderly gentleman, until one noticed something weird about his eyes and they stopped him to discover that he was holding $10,000 in cash. The mask came off and Miller was taken into custody.
Superheroes wear masks so that their enemies won't retaliate by attacking friends and family. Daniel James Bradley of Merced, California, obviously didn't learn that "with great power comes great responsibility" from his Uncle Ben, so he put on a full Spider-Man costume to attempt a purse snatching in 2012. His crime stymied, Bradley started running the opposite direction down the street. The problem with wearing a Spider-Man outfit in public is that there's really no way to blend into a crowd, so it didn't take the fuzz too long to grab him. When asked to explain the costume, Bradley would only say it was "part of his disguise."
Cruella de Vil
One of the biggest no-nos in the criminal world is ripping off a place you visit regularly. So when Shane Crisp decided to try and turn over a bookie, he knew that a disguise would be necessary. Instead of just throwing a bag over his head like a normal person, Crisp decided to get all dressed up as Cruella de Vil, the antagonist of Disney's "101 Dalmatians" franchise. With a red and black wig and leopard print dress, Crisp thought he wouldn't be recognized. Unfortunately, because he went in there every day, it was easy for the regulars to finger him to the cops.
Ghillie suits are used in the military for snipers, scouts and other soldiers who need to blend into the background. They're pretty bulky and uncomfortable, but that didn't stop a thief named Gregory Liascos from donning one in a bizarre attempt to steal a chunk of gold from Oregon's Rice Northwest Museum of Rocks. Liascos cut a hole in the bathroom of the museum over the course of several days and then hid out in nearby woods in his moss-covered disguise, only to be foiled when a police dog sniffed him out. He pleaded guilty to the scheme and got 16 months in prison.
When you get down to it, a disguise really just has to do one thing: hide your face. But Richard Boudreaux, a 23-year-old scofflaw in Slidell, Louisiana, took things a little too far. When he went to rob a seafood restaurant that he used to work at, Boudreaux realized that it would be easy for the other employees to identify him. Without anything to cover his head, the brazen robber picked up a gray bucket and popped it on his head. Sure, nobody could see in, but he also couldn't see out, and surveillance footage shows him stumbling blindly around the place. Amazingly, he got away with $350 but cops tracked him down soon afterwards.
Most of these bad disguises are just one dude with a dream, but a 2013 incident in Melbourne, Australia, pushed things to a whole new level. Four dudes dressed like Smurfs -- complete with full body paint -- walked into a convenience store and demanded that a fellow customer light a cigarette for them. When he refused, they proceeded to beat the hell out of him. This bizarre assault from a group of Smurfs significantly more than three apples high was caught on camera, and the four turned themselves in to the cops the next day. Why did they do it? Why were they dressed like Smurfs? The world may never know.
A Black Guy
Disguising yourself as a member of another race is some truly next-level crime, and Conrad Zdzierak nearly got away with it. The Ohio native robbed four banks, a pharmacy and a credit union wearing a seriously realistic African-American mask, and it was so believable that the police actually arrested a black guy and brought him into a lineup, where witnesses identified him! Unfortunately for Conrad, his girlfriend found his crime kit and realized her man was up to no good, so she called the cops and turned him in. He was sentenced to 25 years in prison for his dirty deeds, and the wrongfully accused man got a profuse apology.
Let's end this with one of the weirdest, dumbest disguise attempts we've ever heard of. In 1996, a dude named McArthur Wheeler walked into Fidelity Savings Bank in Pittsburgh, PA, and demanded money from the teller. Later the same day, he robbed a Mellon Bank as well. So where's the disguise, you ask? Well, when the surveillance footage hit the nightly news and Wheeler was quickly arrested, he was quite confused, protesting to cops that they couldn't know it was him because he "wore the juice." Before his crime, Wheeler had soaked his face in lemon juice, because if you write on a paper with lemon juice it makes "invisible ink." By the transitive property, it should have made him "invisible" to security cameras. Needless to say, that doesn't work at all and he spent a few years in jail for his idiotic disguise attempt.
Everyone loves Photoshop battles, especially when they involve animals (who are scientifically proven to be better than humans). So while we've seen the majestic dog leap get photoshopped, as well as the half-relaxed cat get the Photoshop treatment, it's time to for the tiny hamster with the broken arm.
Let's first take a look at the original photo of a super tiny hamster with a super tiny cast:
And thanks to Reddit, here's what the internet was able to do for the hamster they all hope gets better soon:
Well, that got dark quite quickly.
Poor cat: Grandma Shooing Away Cat Is The Latest Photoshop Extravaganza
I guess the biggest question is, "Which gun did he use?"
According to The Smoking Gun, a naked man walked into a South Carolina convenience store last week, pointed a gun at the 51-year-old clerk and made off with just a two-pack of delicious Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
The great naked candy robbery went down last Monday at a Scotchman store in Myrtle Beach when an "unknown black male" ran into the store wearing nothing but a "bandana over his face and a pair of black shoes." The clerk told police the man pointed a gun at him while he ran toward the candy, grabbed the tasty peanut butter and chocolate combo and then hightailed it out the door.
Police were unable to locate the nude dude, and since the store's surveillance system was "unavailable" at the time of the incident, odds are they'll never catch him. And that's a shame, considering the one feature the clerk probably would have been able to identify him by would have made for one unforgettable and potentially embarrassing police lineup.
Jingle balls: Naked Utah Man Arrested With Bells Hanging From His Balls
When a partner does you wrong, what most people do is try to delete everything that is a reminder of their relationship, including everything on social media. Or, if you're me, you rediscover your love of fire by burning all of their gifts and creating a smoke signal. But the girl below went a different route: She changed all the captions on their Instagram pictures together.
After she discovered that her boyfriend was cheating on her, the woman decided to let everyone she knows (and now the internet) just how much she despises him. Check out some of her captions now thanks to this Twitter:
"This was a crime of passion," her lawyer stated.
Ain't this the truth: What If Instagram Captions Were Honest?
I don't play video games anymore because then the one-two times I go out into population a week would decrease into zero times a week. But, while I don't partake, millions of people out there can't get enough of their video games. And while mom and dad used to tell us to "get off that damn machine," playing video games can actually be a positive in your life.
Check out 16 ways video games go and have gone a long way into making us better humans.
Via The Chive
Now check this out: Playing Video Games Today VS. Playing Video Games In The '90s
If you thought you've already seen it all when it comes to videos of people waking up after getting their wisdom teeth yanked, well, think again, pal.
Sure, the videos of kids talking pure gangster, girls crying because they are lacking in the boob department and girls professing their love for Harry Potter are all entertaining, but they have nothing -- and I mean nothing -- on the clip of this girl still riding high from the wacky juice who thinks that she is choking on a...wait for it..."big, fat black dick."
Just a few words of advice for her friend who's going to stop by her new apartment in the morning: You might want to knock first before going in.
This poor girl just wants some Harry Potter loving: Girl Gets Wisdom Teeth Removed And Just Wants Daniel Radcliffe To Love Her
Your girlfriend has no problem lubricating herself, possibly because she thinks about other men during sex, namely not you.
Skyn Original: The Closest Thing to Wearing Nothing
You'll buy anything spelled with a "Y" when it should be an "I." Is your girlfriend's name Tyffani? That, or because it references a classic quote from "The Simpsons."
Real Lamb: Real Skin-to-Skin Intimacy
You don't mind rolling the dice on an STD with a brand you've never heard of before to save cash.
LifeStyles Fun Bumps
Any lovemaking session over 20 minutes ends with a "fun" UTI or trip to the emergency "fun" room.
Durex: Extra Sensitive
Maybe you zipped up too quickly once in the past and now live to regret it every waking moment?
Night Light: Glow-in-the-Dark Condom
You keep putting it in the "wrong" hole. That, and you have an affinity for Lite Brite and Nightcrawlers.
Glyde: Premium Organic Flavored
Anyone who eats a black licorice condom truly understands how terrible actual black licorice is.
Trojan Fire & Ice
You live in the Midwest and have to adapt to the seasons. Also you're just now hearing about condoms.
LifeStyles Pleasure Shaped (AKA The French Tickler)
It just means your partner might not be fond of your weirdly angled junk.
Durex Tingling Pleasure
You know any spearmint tingle or minty aroma doesn't belong near your pee hole, but you'll do anything to get laid.
Your girth is mistaken for length.
FC2: Female Condoms
You have a penis, but clearly no balls.
If you're a drunk and want to get better, there are meetings for that, and if you're on drugs and want to get better, there are also meetings for that. But how about if you're a vile, racist douche? Guess what? There's a meeting for that.
Rev. Nathan King actually holds Racists Anonymous meetings at the Trinity United Church of Christ in Concord, North Carolina, every Wednesday. King explains that the meetings started due in part to high-profile shootings:
"It seemed like every week we were coming into worship and we were doing another prayer because someone had been killed in the street," King said. King wanted to do more than just pray, so he aimed to rid racist folks of their racism.
About a dozen people attend the meeting every week in order to "... deal with the racism" within themselves "and to eliminate the racism within" themselves," as King puts it.
The church even has a 12-step to rid you of your racist demons:
Well, kudos to people who admit they are racist assholes and want to cure themselves. Now if only we can cure people from the urge to vote for Donald Trump.
Sure are a lot of pieces of garbage out there: 50 Tweets That Prove Racism Is Alive And Well In America (Warning: Extremely Disturbing, Racist Language)
I understand that getting into a car accident can produce some tense moments and emotional behavior, but why, for the love of everything that is holy, does someone begin clucking like a chicken in the middle of the road? Someone please tell me what leads another human to do this?
After getting into a car accident a lady tries to get the other driver to give up his drivers license. When he refuses, she gives up her sanity. Check out the hilarious, and very bizarre video below.
When in doubt, cluck like a chicken, folks.
And what the hell happened here? This Houston Road Rage Incident Is Absolutely Insane