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Six Duos Who Could Potentially Be The Real Daft Punk

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daft punk, random access memories

The Internet has worked itself into a frothy lather over the new Daft Punk album Random Access Memories. While the duo loves generating attention about their music, the French DJs Thomas Bangalter and Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo don't like being photographed unless their faces are obscured. It all begs the question: who is really hiding behind those masks? Here are six duos that could be Daft Punk.

Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong-Un
daft punk, random access memories, dennis rodman, kim jong-un
Oprah and Stedman
daft punk, random access memories, oprah, stedman
Milli Vanilli
daft punk, random access memories, milli vanilli
C3PO and R2D2
daft punk, random access memories, c3po, r2d2
Bert and Ernie
daft punk, random access memories, bert and ernie
Bad Luck Brian and Ermahgerd Girl
daft punk, random access memories, bad luck brian, emrahgerd girl

 

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Olivia Murphy Lays Down the Law

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Fictional Statues For American Cities

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In case you haven't heard, a Detroit art collective came up with a amazing idea to erect a 10-foot tall sculpture of Robocop somewhere in the city. I mean, ideas don't get much better than this. But it got us thinking: Aside from Rocky in Philadelphia, there aren't nearly enough statues of fictional characters in actual cities around the nation. We want to change that, so here's a few ideas for other statues that would really enhance the American landscape:

New York City: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
stay puft statue new york, statue of liberty

Springfield, Ky: Jebediah Springfield


Chicago: Ferris Bueller


San Diego: Ron Burgundy


Los Angeles: Terminator


Albuquerque: Walter White


Fargo, ND: The Wood Chipper


Somewhere In Rural Georgia: Ned Beatty in Deliverance

 

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10 Summer Beers for More Fun in the Sun

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The Most Disturbing GIFs On The Internet (SFW Edition)

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Behind The Scenes Photos From Classic Movie Sets

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The 100 Greatest Quotes From 'Arrested Development'

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The highly anticipated fourth season of "Arrested Development" is finally upon us (available on Netflix on May 26). To honor this glorious occasion, we rewatched all 53 episodes from the first three seasons to compile a list of the 100 greatest quotes from the show.

Since the genius of a show this dry and well-written lies in the delivery and context of the jokes, we had to set a few ground rules to make the list manageable. For the top 100, we limited each spot in the rankings to stand-alone lines and brief exchanges between two characters. Otherwise we'd be transcribing full scenes for every quote.

With that out of the way, it's time to unwind with a vodka rocks, a frozen banana and the 100 greatest "Arrested Development" quotes. Huzzah!

100. I suppose I'm buy-curious. -Tobias

99. Great, so now we don't have a car or a jet? Why don't we just take an ad out in "I'm Poor" magazine. -Lindsay

98. Dinner's ready! We're having Lindsay chops. What? I want her to be prepared in case some bully at school is as clever as I am. -Lucille, to young Michael and Lindsay

97. You must teach me, George Michael. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh. -Ann

96. This family is not about to start using. We are pushers, not takers. -Tobias

95. Luz, that coat costs more than your house! Oh, that's how we joke. She doesn't even have a house. -Lucille

94. [Crying] I just want my brother to envy my money, but he's got that hair. Why can't I have hair and money, and him nothing? -George Sr.

93. I just want my kids back. -Tom Jane

92. Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money. -Gob

91. Lindsay: Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.
Lucille: Not as much as you enjoyed yours. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair.

90. Oh it's so cute. She sometimes takes a little pack of mayonnaise and she'll squirt it in her mouth all over and then she'll take an egg and kind of mmm mmm. She calls it a mayonegg." -George Michael to Michael, about Ann

89. Michael was adjusting to his new position as vice president, which meant doing the work of the president, his brother Gob. -Narrator

88. Portugal? Gonna live it up down ol' South America way, eh Mikey? -Gob

87. George Sr.: Ban on organized sports?
Buster: You know, how you wouldn't let me sign up for anything when I was a kid.
George Sr.: Is that what you've been thinking all these years? No, no, you were, you were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You're just a, a turd.

86. I mean there is so much in life that I haven't experienced, and now that I'm away from mom I feel like this is my chance to live. I want to dance. I want to make love to a woman. I want to get a checking account. I want to know what it feels like to get my face socked in! -Buster

85. What's Spanish for "I know you speak English"? -Lucille to Michael, about the painter

84. George Michael: I have Pop Pop in the attic.
Michael: What? The mere fact that you call "making love" Pop Pop tells me that you're not ready.

83. Barry: Well, if he's got a shot with her, just give me a little tap on the fanny.
Michael: It's not going to happen.

82. I hear the jury's still out on science. -Gob

81. Jessie: Hi George Michael, proud of yourself?
George Michael: Yeah actually, I got a bum away from the stand without hurting his feelings. That was pretty sweet.

80. I'm sorry, I'm just still on the whole "Michael being likable" thing. You know he's only had sex with like four women, right? -Gob

79. But Gob mistook Michael's basic human decency for a romantic interest, and felt a competitive urge to step in. -Narrator

78. Ann, you need to decide whether you want a man or a boy. I know how I'd answer. -Tobias

77. Trevor: It's not your fault your parents were cousins, but here we are. I've been charged with taking care of you, and I'm bloody well going to do it.
Rita: Well, Michael will be my cousin soon enough, 'cause we're getting married!

76. I even tried to convince them he's gay, but no one would believe that a woman like me would have a gay son. -Lucille, to Michael, about Buster

75. Steve Holt! -Steve Holt et al.

74. Let's just make Ann the backup. Okay? Very good way to think about her. As a backup. -Michael, to George Michael

73. Look, you are playing adults [falls off chair]. Pick that up, please...with fully formed libidos. Not two young men playing grab-ass in the shower. -Tobias

72. Michael, you can save this family. Please, do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that Dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society. -Gob

Related: The 100 Greatest Quotes From "The Simpsons"

71. Oh, a pregnancy test. There's something we never had, huh, Lindsay? No, we had to create our little Frankenstein monster out of science, and money, and just a dash of [notices Maeby has entered] Maeby...would...how...how long have you been standing there? -Tobias

70. Annyong! -Annyong

69. And although he'd only gotten to second base, he'd gone in head first, like Pete Rose. -Narrator, about George Michael

68. I don't think us sleeping together is working out. You're a grown man; you should be living with your mother. -Michael, to Buster

67. I'm going to see if I can get a wrench to strip my nuts. [everyone looks at her] I was trying to be sexy, it just got away from me. -Lindsay

66. Well if you wanna play Eve you gotta get in line, behind what, about five homos? That was wrong. -Barry

65. There are dozens of us. Dozens! -Tobias, about never nudes

64. Michael: Could it be love?
Gob: I know what an erection feels like, Michael! No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard.

63. Oh now you love the ten commandments. Yet, you're the one who so conveniently forgot "Thou shalt protect thy father and honor no one above him unless it be-ith me, thy sweet Lord." -Gob, to Michael

62. Oscar: The question is, which way do I try to get it in her?
Michael: I don't need any details.
Oscar: Maybe, I'll put it in her brownie.

61. I'm going crazy with the boredom, Michael. At least in prison, we had knife fights and we had movie night. And once, both. Those men did not enjoy "Soapdish." I think you have to know that world. -George Sr.

60. Gene Parmesan, how you doing? -Gene Parmesan

59. Actually Lindsay was so upset at Michael that she tried meditation to calm herself, but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap. -Narrator

58. George Sr. [to Michael]: All right, now look, just because a woman gets pregnant doesn't mean you have to marry her. Too many lives have been ruined because some cheap waitress at a HoJo said she used an I.U.D.
Lucille: It was Stuckey's.
George Sr.: But I believed you!

57. Oh, that is just great. And now I'm expected to climb back on top of Kitty and do my thing again. I mean, this family runs into problems and it's, "Oh, let's have Gob [bleep] our way out of it." -Gob

56. Your father with his disgusting tweaking. I couldn't breast feed any of you kids because of that man! -Lucille

55. Hey, why don't you pop a tent in front with your cousin Maeby? -Michael, to George Michael

54. Michael, it was shoplifting, and I'm white. I think I'm going to be okay. -Lindsay

53. Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed? You don't need double talk, you need Bob Loblaw. -Bob Loblaw

52. Gob: And guess what else? Dad kissed me!
Michael: How? He looked pretty unconscious in that picture.
Gob: I didn't say he was totally into it!

51. Maeby: Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the "T" on it?
Michael: That's a cross.
Maeby: Across from where?

50. Stan Sitwell: The only thing I ask is out of the 450 homes we build, one be given to a disadvantaged family from the inner city.
Gob: That's great, so the other 449 families live in fear? Is that what we're saying? Come on!

49. Buster so excelled at being neither seen nor heard that he remained at the school undetected for a full two semesters after he was supposed to graduate. -Narrator

48. I'm not sure how "Solid as a Rock" helps people forget that we built houses in Iraq. -Michael, to Gob

47. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's like "die already!" -Gob

46. Now there's been a break-in [holding her rape horn in one hand and a fireplace poker in the other]. But I have a surprise for whoever it is if he comes back. First I blow him, then I poke him. -Lucille

45. Marry me! -Maeby

44. Michael: We've got a picture of you with Saddam Hussein.
George Sr.: I thought that was the guy who played the Soup Nazi. I told him how much I liked his work!

43. I'll be your wingman. Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up. -Tobias, to Buster

42. [To Carl Weathers, referring to Tobias] If that man's straight, then I am sober. -Dave Attell

41. Tobias: What are you doing up here?
George Sr.: I'm having a [bleep]ing tea party, what does it look like I'm doing? [shoves Tobias against the wall and covers his mouth with his hand] I'm living up here and if you tell anyone about this, I will [bleep]ing kill you. Ah, stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.

Related: The 100 Greatest Quotes From "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia"

40. You're gonna get some hop-ons. -Michael, about the stair car

39. Everyone's laughing and riding and cornholing except Buster. -Lucille

38. Michael: I think George Michael is hiding Ann in the attic.
Lindsay: From who? The Nazis?

37. I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will. So now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. -Tobias

36. Maybe it was the 11 months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus but, he was our miracle baby. I was just too burnt out on raising you guys to care so, he turned out a little soft, you know, a little doughy. I don't know, maybe it was my fault, maybe I ignored the guy. -George Sr., speaking to Michael about Buster, who is sitting right next to them

35. And say goodbye to these, because it's the last time! [flashes breasts] -Kitty

34. No, mother! I can blow myself and you have interfered for the last time! -Buster

33. Tobias: Oh come on, don't leave your Uncle Tea Bag hangin'.
George Michael: Please don't call yourself that.

32. We're all just going to have a more normal arrangement. I'm going to sleep with my daughter, and you're going to sleep with my husband. -Lindsay, to George Michael

31. Suddenly he's too much of a big shot to brush Mother's hair. -Lucille, about Buster

30. Hey brother. -Buster

29. Well then Frank, I shall be a bigger, hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh. -Tobias

28. Lindsay: I have the afternoon free.
Lucille: Really? Did "nothing" cancel?

27. Yes, he's lost his left hand, so he's going to be "all right." -Doctor

26. Gob: Franklin said some things Whitey wasn't ready to hear.
Michael: Gob, weren't you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act?
Gob: He also said some things that African-American-y wasn't ready to hear either.

25. And that's why you always leave a note. -J. Walter Weatherman


24. You stay on top of her, buddy. Do not be afraid to ride her...hard. -Michael, to George Michael, about Maeby

23. First of all, we're doing this for her. Okay? Because neither one of us wants to get divorced. And secondably, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot. Your wife is dead. -Tobias, to Michael

22. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, there's still plenty of meat on that bone. Now you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby you got a stew going! -Carl Weathers

21. Tobias: Perhaps I should call the Hot Cops and tell them to come up with something more nautically themed. Hot sailors. Better yet, hot se-
Michael: I like hot sailors.
Tobias: Mmm. Me too.

20. No touching! -Prison guard et al.

19. Lucille: Get me a vodka rocks.
Michael: Mom, it's breakfast.
Lucille: And a piece of toast.

18. And please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of inter-office [bleep]ing, or [bleep]ing, or finger-[bleep], or [bleep]sting or [bleep]ing, or even [bleep], even though so many people in this office are begging for it. And if anybody does anything with my sister Lindsay, I'll take off my pants, I'll shave my [bleep], and I'll personally [long bleep]. -Gob


17. Michael: I can't stand to hear one more lie out of this family.
Tobias [entering, to Lindsay]: Ah, there's the woman I'm sexually attracted to.
Michael: Okay, but that's the last one.

16. Tobias: As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.
Michael: Really? When did that start?
Tobias: Well, I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help.

15. Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken? -Michael, about the family's variety of chicken sounds and dances

14. Oh, mom. After all these years, God's not gonna take a call from you. -Michael

13. Tobias: Well, Michael, you really are quite the cupid, aren't you? I tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks anytime.
Michael: Okay. You know what you do? Buy yourself a tape recorder. Record yourself for a whole day. I think you're gonna be surprised at some of your phrasing.

12. I mean, it's one banana, Michael. What could it cost? 10 dollars? - Lucille

11. Well I will tell you this, Michael. I don't have a son (Narrator: He does), but if I ever do, I'm either gonna take him to the cabin in the woods, or I'm gonna promise to take him and then not take him. But the one thing that I will never do, is not tell him that I'm taking him to a cabin in the woods and then not take him! -Gob

10. I'll never understand that you can never be nude? I understand more than you'll...never know. -Tobias, to George Michael

9. I don't want no part of yo' tired ass country club, ya freak bitch! -Franklin (Buster), to Lucille

8. George Michael: Uncle Gob, hey um, was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant?
Gob: Oh yeah, dozens of times.

7. Mrs. Featherbottom: Who'd like a banger in the mouth? Oh, right, I forgot. Here in the states you call it a sausage in the mouth.
Michael: We just call it a sausage.



6. Lucille: Stop playing with mother's rape horn. Yes, I have a rape horn, Michael, because you took away my mace.
Buster: Yeah, like anyone would want to "R" her.

5. There's always money in the banana stand. -George Sr.

4. Okay Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over? An analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. -Tobias

3. Michael [to Gob]: Get rid of the Seaward.
Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready.

2. I'm afraid I just blue myself. -Tobias

1. I've made a huge mistake. -Gob et al.
arrested development, new season, netflix, huge mistake

 

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Today's Funniest Photos 5-22-13

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Natasha Poly is a Russian Model Icon

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Alice Eve Used To Lift Up Her Skirt

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Alice Eve is insanely hot. Her...uhhh, for lack of a better word, bosoms, are some of the finest creations on the face of the earth. When she was on Conan O'Brien recently, she admitted that she was a bit of a naughty school girl.

But everyone says they were naughty in school, right? But it seems like Alice Eve wasn't kidding around.

As she says to Conan: "When she [her teacher] turned her back, we used to get down in our chairs and simulate sex."

We're not sure what exactly she's doing with her hands in this reenactment, but it definitely makes us wish we went to school in England with Alice.

Check out more hot blondes.

 

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Joan Smalls Hit the Big Time

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ESPN Likes Johnny Manziel's V-I-P-ness

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Johnny Manziel is one of those players who has a ton of intangibles. One of those intangibles is his V-I-P-ness. Yes, his ability to be a Very Important Penis. Well, that's what it sounds like, according to this ESPN College Football live host.

H/T Deadspin

 

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Beach Cocktails: The Cruzan Key Lime in a Coconut

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cruzan rum, the cruzan key lime in a coconutSummer time = beach time. And beach time = fruity cocktail time. Don't fight it. Embrace it. Nobody drinks a Manhattan on the beach.

There are few more qualified to serve up a nice and relaxing cocktail than the good people at Cruzan Rum. The company hails from St. Croix, the largest of the U.S. Virgin Islands, and the beachy island has inspired Cruzan to unveil the "Don't Hurry" state of mind. It's pretty simple really: No matter where you are, you can always enjoy a refreshing cocktail, take a deep breath and put your mind at rest by embracing the Don't Hurry mindset.

So, the next time you head out for some fun in the sun, or are just in need of a break from the hectic pace of life, try out the Cruzan Key Lime in a Coconut. You'll stop hurrying in no time.

Cruzan(R) Key Lime in a Coconut
Recipe by Jesse Card, Cruzan Master Mixologist

Ingredients:
2 parts Cruzan(R) Key Lime Rum
.75 part Lime Juice
1 part Coco Lopez(R) Coconut Syrup

Method:
Add all ingredients into a blender with 12 ounces of crushed ice. Blend and pour into a coconut.

 

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A Guide to Meeting Unique People

How to Start the Summer Right With a Summer Kick-Off Party

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The secret to any good summer is starting it off right, and no man can do that very well without a kick-off party to get things going. Get a head start on the happiness, debauchery and late nights the summer brings like no other season by following these steps to throwing a great summer kick-off party. If it's your first time, it definitely won't be your last.

Light the Grill

If you don't own a grill, it's about damn time. Nothing says Memorial Day weekend like busting out the manliest of household commodities, grilling up some way-too-big-for-your-mouth burgers and tossing on as many different types of meat that you can fit on there. Obviously, gas grills are the way to go, but if you dislike your vegetarian neighbors you can also blow steak and charcoal-flavored smoke in their windows. Or, just invite them over, make new friends and stop pulling their fresh garden vegetables up by the root and slapping them atop your grill.

Get Out Those Tiki Cocktail Glasses

You might have felt like a real Mary when you bought these on clearance in the wintertime, but now that the sun is out and everybody is mixing up their colorful cocktails, you don't look like such a wuss at all. Go on, fill it and have a blast. It will just help everyone have a good time. And what is summer, anyway, if not the time to get festive with brightly colored kitchenette and dance around in neon colors like it's the fricking '80s again? Your neighbors might think you've gone mad, but the ones you really care about will still be there for entertainment.

Throw on Some Beach Boys

You clearly can't celebrate summer without the proper musical accompaniment, so crank up something that makes you feel sunny inside, even if you're in the middle of a field your friend bought, surrounded by woods, bears and poison ivy. At least you'll feel bright and festive on the inside. We recommend the classics, songs from such bands as the Beach Boys, the Rolling Stones and Sugar Ray. Just kidding, we know that the Rolling Stones aren't hip anymore, but you better damn well blast some Mark McGrath tracks while he's still in style.

Toss Bags in Cornholes

It's exactly as it sounds: a nice game of bags with friends. Toss those bean bags onto that professionally crafted wood board, or better yet, toss one in the hole. If you've never played before, you're missing out on one of life's best outdoor sports activities amongst functional alcoholics and party animals alike. If you're well aware of the cornhole experience, it would behoove you to build a set of boards yourself before summer is underway, and have your needlepoint-loving hunny sew you up some bags. Or, if craftsmanship isn't your thing, just buy a set that is your-favorite-sports-team themed.

Make Those Jell-O Shots

There's always room for Jell-O. And don't go thinking you're ever too old for it, either. For those of you men who have a hard time taking down straight liquor, where you pinch your nose and gag every time somebody buys you shot of tequila, you might as well save them the money and yourself some embarrassment and load the fridge with trays of Jell-O shots.

Having said this, be advised that these little miracles have a tendency to speed the alcohol process. You might be having fun for awhile, but before you know it, you're dancing around in your mother's underwear, standing on a rooftop pretending you're on drugs when, in fact, you just have a really low tolerance. Tequila and vodka are the best-known liquors for the job, but feel free to get creative and gross out your friends. And the green ones are surprisingly better than the red and won't make it look like you're dying whbeach, bonfire, guitaren you puke after having too many.

Toss Another Log on the Fire

Hot summer days are met by cool nights, and getting the friends around a warm fire with some blankets, drinks and that friend who's barely above average on guitar with his four-chord ballads is really what summer nights are all about.

Don't sit inside and watch the stars through the smudgy windows of a lifeless apartment. Step into the night and rage like wolves chasing after a bobsled team in the middle of nowhere. Okay, weird analogy. Just get outside and have some fun, live your life a little and don't you dare bring up tomorrow's responsibilities.

Stay Up Late, Dance All Night

Chances are you didn't plan too far in advance for this, being a guy who Christmas shops on Christmas morning and all, so play it by ear and keep the energy up. All the best nights come from staying up later than you should, reminiscing over old embarrassing stories with lots of therapeutic laughs and then crashing on a surface you otherwise wouldn't walk on, in a position that gives you a stiff neck for the rest of the month.

Summer can be endless if you let it, but more importantly, it's the most exuberant time of the year for living wildly, dancing the night away and watching the sun rise again. So if you won't take our word for it, try out some of these unruly techniques and tell us it didn't go off without a hitch. If that means blaring some Will Smith to make it happen, then so be it. Just don't blame us when people think you're trying too hard.

 

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The 15 Dirtiest Jokes in Kids' Cartoons

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Four Very Enjoyable Celebrity Mashups

The Funniest GIFs of the Week - May 23, 2013

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Today's Funniest Photos 5-23-13

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Play 'The Hangover' STRIP Trivia With Arianny Celeste

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The third installment of "The Hangover" franchise hits theaters this Memorial Day weekend, and Arianny Celeste joins our friends at CineFix just in time to bring you another excellent edition of "FilmStrip."

 

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