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Haley Bennett is a Sexy Singer

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Daisy Watts Will Make You Sweat, But In a Good Way

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Nathan Fielder's 'STD Prank' on Parents Provides More Hilarious Reactions

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Father's Day Spirits Gift Guide 2013

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The Ultimate Superman Movie Poster Mashup

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superman, man of steel

"Man of Steel," another in a long line of Superman reboots, hits theaters this weekend. To honor the occasion, we threw together the most notable Superman stars throughout the franchise's long history. Counter clockwise from top left: Superman as he appears in issue no. 6 from the 1940 comic book series; George Reeves from the TV series "Adventures of Superman"; Christopher Reeve, the star of the four Hollywood blockbusters from the late '70s through the mid-'80s; Dean Cain and Terri Hatcher from "Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman"; Brandon Routh from "Superman Returns;" and the big silhouette looking over them all is Henry Cavill from "Man of Steel."

 

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Unfortunate T-Shirts for Mug Shots

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unfortunate t-shirts for mug shots

Obviously, no one picks their outfit in the morning with the perfect mug shot in mind. Still, these people had to be kicking themselves once they got booked.

Via EatLiver

 

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The Best of the Johnny Depp in 'Finding Neverland' Meme

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What Happens If You Eat Nothing but Taco Bell for a Week: An Investigative Report

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Let me start out by saying that I am a stupid idiot. No one made me do this. I just thought it would be fun to eat nothing but Taco Bell for a week and document it. Please don't ever do this. As great as Taco Bell is at 2 a.m. when you've been out with your friends all night or on the random occasion that you're actually craving a Gordita, eating it for all of your meals gets old very quickly. Also, I don't eat breakfast so this is literally every meal I eat. Here is my journey. I hope it impacts you the way it impacted me ... in my butt.

Day 1

taco bell, eat only taco bell, rob fee, tacos

I decided the most fuel-efficient way to do this, and the best way from keeping the people at Taco Bell from learning my first name, was to go once a day and buy a bunch of tacos then warm them up for the other meals. Great idea! Although Taco Bell is pretty delicious fresh, it becomes quite the opposite when it's reheated.

I'm getting one of the $2 Meal Deals for sure. How could you pass that up? A bag of Doritos, a Baja Blast, and a beefy Five-Layer Burrito for 8 quarters! How cheap is this meat that they can turn a profit on that? Nonetheless, I get that meal and then 6 Doritos Locos Tacos for later. NO ONIONS! If I see a piece of an onion on that taco, I'll throw it back through the drive-thru window.

taco bell, eat only taco bell, rob fee, tacos

I have to admit, the original Doritos tacos are much better than the Cool Ranch. Argue with me all you want, but it's the truth. I did learn the hard way that those Doritos shells do not reheat very well. Hopefully, my son doesn't notice because he's sharing these with me.

taco bell, eat only taco bell, rob fee, tacos

The first day is in the books and it's no problem at all! I'll try to keep switching up my orders so I don't get tired of it too quickly, but there's really only so many ways you can put fake meat into a shell and call it something different.

Day 2

taco bell, eat only taco bell, rob fee, tacos

It's party time once again! Today I got the $2 Gordita value meal because it's like buying a Baja Blast and then getting a taco for pennies. I added in a couple of chicken quesadillas for dinner. I'm also pleased to report that my stomach is healthy and happy, but I must admit that, when microwaved, Taco Bell's food turns into that guy's face at the end of "Total Recall."

total recall face

I got two Baja Blasts just to be safe but that seems to be a bad idea, as my teeth feel like they're wearing a sweater vest even after brushing my teeth. I usually just drink water so this was an unexpected "perk."

I wouldn't say that I feel bad, but I should start incorporating some fruit and vegetables into my diet because unless Mountain Dew is made from papayas, I'm not really getting much of the recommended intake.

Day 3

taco bell, eat only taco bell, rob fee, tacos

In a huge disappointment, I found out today that if you order the Taco Party Box it doesn't necessarily come in a box! I didn't order a Taco Party Bag! If I asked you if you wanted to go watch the 2009 James Marsden sci-fi thriller "The Box" and the movie ended up being about a bag, you would find that unacceptable, right? I also caved in and got another cheesy Beefy 5-Layer Burrito because one more Baja Blast can't hurt. Oh god, my teeth are going to look like this, aren't they?:

toothless man, man with no teeth

I knocked out the burrito and 4 tacos for lunch, which leaves me 8 to warm up later. I'm definitely cutting out the Baja Blast. How does the gaming community consume that much Dew?

taco bell, eat only taco bell, rob fee, tacos

The 8 taco dinner was good enough, but microwaving them made them kind of melt together. Here's a picture:

cat woman, jocelyn wildenstein

I also stayed inside and worked all day so I feel like I've gained 5 pounds in nacho cheese alone. Maybe I'll mix things up tomorrow and get some cinnamon twists - I'm sure those are loaded with nutrition and electrolytes.

Day 4
What a great way to start the day. I open my laptop and the first article I see is about this:

taco bell, eat only taco bell, rob fee, tacos

Taco Bell won't say which restaurant it's from. I swear, if that little idiot licked one of my tacos I will lose my mind all over that establishment. Thankfully, those are Cool Ranch hard shells and I'm not a soulless monster who would ever order one of those. My stomach feels gross, so I guess I'll get some ... Gorditas? Is there really anything here that would soothe my intestines? For the record, that's a Larry Bird t-shirt. I'm not a Celtics fan. That's repulsive. Can I blame poor fashion decisions on Taco Bell?

taco bell, eat only taco bell, rob fee, tacos

The Gorditas were greasy and gross. I sort of feel like the dampness of the meat is seeping through my pores and that I should just sleep in a Bioré Pore-Perfect Mask. Thank goodness I got a volcano burrito to warm up for dinner! I'm sure the resell value on those things is like a Hummer H2.

Did I mention the horrible downside to the volcano burrito besides the obvious downsides of eating a volcano burrito? Basically, what happens is that as you eat the burrito at a vertical angle, the volcano sauce, which is quite spicy as the name hints, flows to the bottom of the burrito like a waterfall of future anal discomfort. By the time you get to the last bite, it's nothing but sauce. There's not enough Baja Blast on the planet to purge your mouth of the fury it has just encountered. Whatever is in that sauce hates me, but it's still hauntingly delicious. I'm going to bed early because my stomach hurts. I feel a little sad to be honest. Maybe the volcano burrito isn't a dish best served lukewarm?

Day 5

taco bell, eat only taco bell, rob fee, tacos

"Oh man, have you ever had a Crunch Wrap Supreme?" was a text I sent to my mom today. Is this my life now? Cheap and fast Mexican food and an increased risk of diabetes? I'm more than halfway done but honestly I feel so disgusting. You know how everybody in Michael Bay's Transformers movies looked sweaty all the time? I feel like that, but on the inside.

transformers, megan fox, shia labeouf

I seriously just ate Crunch Wrap Supremes today. I ate four of them. I was really irritable today and couldn't figure out why, then I thought "Oh yeah, I've only eaten the lowest-edible-grade beef for five days!" My stomach is doing fine, but I just feel like an ogre. The thought of eating more of this stuff isn't a pleasant one. I'm just going to watch "Law & Order: SVU" and pray it's not an episode where they arrest someone for licking taco shells because I will completely lose it.

taco bell, eat only taco bell, rob fee, tacos

Day 6

I've decided to make the most of the day. I've got the Verve Pipe pumping through my headphones and I went for a swim this morning. I feel great. I think I know what will eliminate those feelings though. How about a hefty helping of some Chalupas Supreme? I'm just going to get a random combination of Chalupas and call it a day. For some reason, Nacho Cheese Chalupas are no longer on the menu. Seriously? I know you have bags of nacho cheese back there, so why are you playing me like this? Now I have to order off menu like some kind of taco connoisseur. Hey Taco Bell guy, you don't have to explain to me how you're going to pull off the heist of making me a NaChCha (my new abbreviation for nacho cheese chalupa, just roll with it) - just make it so I can shove it in my fat face.

taco bell, eat only taco bell, rob fee, tacos

I made a big mistake. I forgot to put that extra bag of NaChChas in the refrigerator so I'm just going to eat it at room temperature. It's not like I could do anything worse to my stomach. On the bright side, it's a chicken taco instead of beef, so it's slightly less disgusting. On the downside, I'm afraid I've contracted salmonella from it. Probably not actually, but at this point, who knows. Tomorrow we're going all out. It's going to be a full-on taco party. I probably won't eat here again for years so let's go out with a bang!

taco bell, eat only taco bell, rob fee, tacos

Day 7

I found a Beefy 5-Layer Burrito in the refrigerator and ate it for breakfast. I normally don't eat breakfast, but when the Lord sends down manna from heaven to you in the form of a burrito, you eat it. I'm sticking to my "Let's go out with a terrible bang" mindset and today, I'm ordering it all:





I saved the Chicken Quesadilla for dinner. Wow, just like I did all the way back on day two. I think we've all grown from this experience. For instance, I hate myself way more than I used to and I'm assuming you do as well. Tomorrow will be a beautiful day. I'm having an apple. An apple covered in nacho cheese.

THE FINAL STATS

3 Mini Bags of Doritos
6 Baja Blasts
3 Volcano Burritos
8 Chalupas
5 Crunch Wrap Supremes
3 Beefy 5 Layer Burritos
1 Bean Burrito
12 Soft Tacos
2 Doritos Locos Tacos
3 Chicken Quesadillas
4 Gorditas

taco bell, eat only taco bell, rob fee, tacos

 

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Today's Funniest Photos - June 11, 2013

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Kim Jong-Il Was Possibly More Than Just Buds With His Sushi Chef

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Kim Jong-Il and Chef Had 'Homoerotic' Relationship?

It comes as no surprise to anyone that the late Supreme Leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-il, was a bit, uh ... eccentric. Ever since his passing, however, stories about his personal life have continued to emerge. The most recent comes from a GQ interview with his former sushi chef, Kenji Fujimoto. According to Fujimoto, the two were a little more than just bros.

kim jong-il, sushi chef, kenji fujimoto Fujimoto was technically Kim Jong-il's personal sushi chef, but he was so well-liked by the little guy, that he also became a part of Kim Jong-il's personal entourage. The two would engage in all sorts of activities together, including pheasant hunting, horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating, and bowling. He would also often accompany the leader on tours on his bulletproof train.

The most revealing anecdote, however, must be read word-for-word from the mouth of Fujimoto himself. Keep in mind while reading this that Fujimoto refers to Kim Jong-il as "Shogun-sama." According to GQ, this is because "honored general" in Korean is "Jang-gun-nim" and "Shogun-sama" was the Japanese term Fujimoto used as its equal. It means "super shogun/great master."

"Many people envied me because I was a favorite of Kim Jong-il. kim jong-ilAt the parties, I poured sake for Shogun-sama, but Shogun-sama also poured sake for me, which was very rare. Every time Shogun-sama said to me, 'Do you like me?' I answered, 'Of course, I like you so much.' I was thinking about making a joke: 'I don't like you, I despise you.' I wanted to say that as a joke, but I had no courage. Shogun-sama said, 'If you like me, why don't you kiss me on the cheek?' I don't remember how many times I kissed him. A hundred times? A hundred kisses. We would go to the sauna together, naked. Shogun-sama said, 'Oh, you have a good body, a masculine body.' I said, 'I'm good at sports.' It's not too much to say I was a good playmate for Kim Jong-il. And every time he asked me to kiss his face, he always said to me, 'If you betray me, you will ....' Then he would go silent and make a gesture of a knife going into my stomach."

via NY Mag

 

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Ally Kelly Is a Smoke Show

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Cocktail Recipes: Father's Day Edition

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People everywhere agree: dads are the best (along with moms, but they already had their day). Father's Day is Sunday, June 16th, and while most fathers are easy to please, you can make things even more simple for the both of you by mixing up some delicious cocktails to enjoy. Here are our favorite recipes to share with your old man.

KILBEGGAN DAD'S SECRET DRAM
dad's secret dram, kilbeggan cocktail
Recipe by Eoghan (Owen) Hughes, bar manager at the Knockranny House Hotel in Mayo, Ireland.

Ingredients:
2 Parts Kilbeggan Irish Whiskey
3/4 Part Fresh Squeezed Orange Juice
1 Part Honey Syrup (1/2 honey 1/2 water)
2 Dashes Orange Bitters
1 Part Egg White

Preparation:
Pour all ingredients into a shaker and shake to mix well and emulsify. Add ice and shake hard for another 15 seconds. Pour into a large tumbler over ice. This is a "man's drink" so no garnish is needed.

A Tip to Sip:
"Back in the 1800's, cocktails were intended to be enjoyed as a way to fortify yourself and start the day off on the right foot. As anyone who has had a traditional Irish fry-up knows, breakfast is incredibly important to the Irish even today. I wanted to pay homage to this history when creating a cocktail to be enjoyed on Father's Day. I combined egg whites and orange juice with Kilbeggan(R) Irish Whiskey to create a "man's drink" that will show your father how special you think he is from the moment he wakes up." - Owen Hughes

Toast:
"Go n'eiri an t'adh leat!" Its literal translation is "May luck rise with you" but can be translated loosely to "Good luck."

THE THISTLE WHISTLE (a new kind of Old Fashioned)
thistle whistle, brugal 1888 cocktail
Created by Scott Fitzgerald, Greenwich Project

Ingredients:
2 oz. Brugal 1888
.25 oz. Bittermans Apricot Brandy
2 dashes Angostura Bitters
1 dash Regan's Orange Bitters

Preparation:
Stir all ingredients in a cocktail tin until chilled. Strain into a rocks glass over large ice cubes. Garnish with a dried Apricot and Lemon peel.

Photo by Alice Gao


DAD'S DRY DAIQUIRI
dad's dry daiquiri, brugal rum cocktail
Ingredients:
2 oz. Brugal Extra Dry
1 oz. Fresh Lime Juice
.75 oz. Simple Syrup

Preparation:
Shake all ingredients with ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a lime wheel.

Photo by Alice Gao





NOLET'S SILVER CLOVER CLUB
clover club, nolet's gin cocktail
Created by Ivan Mitankin, Bathtub Gin NYC

Ingredients:
2 oz. NOLET'S Silver Dry Gin
3 Raspberries
1 Egg White
.5 oz. Cane Syrup
.5 oz. Dolin Dry
.75 oz. Lemon

Preparation:
Dry shake all ingredients (without ice) to emulsify the egg white, then shake with ice. Double strain into a coupe glass and garnish with a raspberry.

Photo by Peter Wagner

For more, follow NOLET's on Twitter and like them on Facebook.

Celebrating Great Dads on AOL
For more on Father's Day, including gift ideas, personal stories and more, visit AOL.com.

 

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The Bizarre Rituals Of Famous Writers

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Mitch Hedberg Quote Generator

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Mitch Hedberg Quote Generator

Mitch Hedberg was one of the most underrated comedians of all time. To help remedy that, we put together this Mitch Hedberg Quote Generator. Click "Mitch Me" for one of Mr. Hedberg's classic quotes.

Rice is great for when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something.

Mitch Hedberg was a unique comedian who had the ability to catch you off guard with simple one-liners. Experience the best head scratchers the comedian offered during his career with our Mitch Hedberg quote generator.

 

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The Official Mike "Doc" Emrick Translator

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mike emrickAsk anyone who knows their Staals from their Stolls who the best NHL play-by-play man is and you will undoubtedly hear the same name: Mike "Doc" Emrick. After years of calling the action for the New Jersey Devils, Doc was snapped up by NBCSports and will be the man in the booth for every game of the Stanley Cup Final. Emrick's enthusiasm for the game is unmatched...but so is his vocabulary. He's known for his unique turns of phrase - so to make sure hockey noobs know what the hell he's talking about, we offer this handy phrasebook...

"Swaggered on in" - When a forward carrying the puck tries to beat the opposing team's defenseman with speed. See also: "finessed."

"Freight-trained" - When a player body checks an opposing player, causing that player to fall down; to barrel over someone.

"Waffleboarded away" - When a goaltender uses his "blocker" (the flat, padded glove with which he holds his stick) to make a save - a reference to old style blockers that had holes in their leather tops through which padding was visible and were nicknamed "waffles" or "waffleboards."

mike emrick, waffleboarded away"Squibbed on through" - Not a reference to the small devices used to simulate gunshot wounds in movies - it means having a pass or shot partially blocked, but still maintaining some forward momentum. "Kronwall puts the body on Toews, but the puck is squibbed on through and can be played now by Kane..."

"Rifled along" - When a defenseman or forward shoots the puck hard and fast along the boards to either clear the zone or keep it away from opposing players.

"Sealed off" - When a goaltender either pulls in his arms and legs or hugs the goal post to ensure there are no gaps through which a puck can squirt through.

"Finessed on in" - Similar to "swaggered," this is when a player attempts to deke or fake out an opposing player with some kind of display of agility. As in: "The pass is on the stick of Crosby, nice move as it's finessed on in to the Bruins' zone..."

"Elevators it" - When a player attempts a pass by lifting the puck off the ice, over opposing defensemen's sticks or bodies

"Gonged Away" - When a goaltender uses his head, either intentionally or unintentionally, to make a save. As in: "Shot through traffic, and it's gonged away by Rask..."

mike emrick gonged away"Wedged off" - Not quite a body check, but when a player leans in and forces an opposing player into the boards or otherwise separates him from the puck


"Pitchforked away" - When a player attempts to clear the zone by flipping the puck into the air, using a motion not unlike a farmer bailing hay.

"My goodness" - A frequent Emrick exclamation meaning "something really cool, unexpected, controversial, or otherwise noteworthy has happened." For maximum effectiveness, the "my" needs to be stretched to three syllables: "Myyy-yyy-yyy goodness."

 

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The Complete Timeline of a Facebook Courtship

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Facebook is an amazing tool for planning and organizing events, keeping up with friends and families, and, of course, being a creep. Follow along with a typical courtship timeline, as Matt puts the e-moves on a sweet young lass named Kaylee. What could go wrong?

 

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Today's Funniest Photos - 6-12-2013

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Leyla Ghobadi is Kanye West's Alleged Mistress

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Guillermo of 'Jimmy Kimmel Live' at NBA Media Day

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Jimmy Kimmel's security guard/sidekick Guillermo can do no wrong in our eyes. He is the king of interviews. This video shows the hilarity that ensued when Guillermo was given the opportunity to talk to the San Antonio Spurs and the Miami Heat at NBA Media Day. Pay careful attention to what he calls Tracy McGrady. It's the best and what everyone should call him from this moment on.

 

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Ashley Mattingly Is a Fun-Loving Playmate

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