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Estella Warren Never Wears Out Her Welcome

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Emily DiDonato is Your New American Sweetheart

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Fox Reporter Hits Child in Face With Basketball, Child Cries

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Usually, we relish in the mistakes of reporters. But this time, we actually have to cut this Fox & Friends reporter (don't make me look up his name) a little slack. While he's playing basketball with that kid who hits every shot every time, he got the rebound and then tossed it back to the kid, catching him in the face.

Then the kid did what all kids do and started crying. I'm not sure what the lesson is from this, but that kid is going to have to toughen up if he wants to make it to the NBA.

 

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This Is The Most Interesting Man Of All Time

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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

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The Craziest Acts of Soccer Violence

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The Weirdest Action Figures Of All Time

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How To Respond When Your Friend Tells You He Has An STD


The 'Family Guy' Syndication Drinking Game (Try It With New Episodes, Too!)

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There are two things that almost all average Americans have in common with each other: they like to drink and they enjoy watchinfamily guyg syndicated reruns of "Family Guy" on Adult Swim and their local TBS affiliates. And while we did just make that up so you will feel like an outcast if you don't play our silly little drinking game, it doesn't make the game itself any less relevant to the title of this piece. So without further adieu, we give you the rules of our "Family Guy Syndication Drinking Game" that conveniently works for when new episodes return on FOX, as well. (Warning: there is more dire risk to your life with every episode you watch, but we're pretty confident that you'll pass out before you do much permanent damage to yourself).

RULES

1. Quite simply, we've divided up certain aspects, running gags, and other recognizable "Family Guy" tropes into criteria for five separate categories of drinking. For all of the criteria that appear under the 'One Drink' category, you take one drink. You take two drinks for the ones under 'Two Drinks' and so on.

2. You can choose how many categories you and your group want to follow for every game. For instance, if you don't want to get blackout wasted in a half hour's time, maybe just play the One Drink and Two Drink categories for the episode. Also, if you've decided to play with something like wine instead of beer, it might not hurt to just stick with the One Drink category.

3. Some criteria, such as the "TV pop culture reference" in the One Drink category have exceptions that are in higher drinking categories. Those exceptions will be noted.

4. When a criteria such as "Bruce appearance" is used in the Five Drinks category, this excludes background or non-speaking appearance for every one.

5. The "Bonus" category consists of optional drinking criteria you can choose to add to the game to make things a little more interesting than just drinking. For instance, you can add a giving out drinks category to spice things up and screw your friends over.

Pretty simple, yes? Alright, on your marks...get set...GO!

Oh wait, we should probably give you a list of Family Guy's air times according to time zones, huh? Well, they are at the very bottom of this article. Take a look so you know, then GO!

ONE DRINK

-TV pop culture reference (excluding the Muppets and "Peanuts"/Charlie Brown references, which are in higher drink categories)

-Movie or music pop culture reference

-Video game reference
brian family guy, brian's book
-Peter ignores something someone is saying or just said to him

-Brian being a writer is referenced (first time in the episode only)

-Innuendo that Stewie is gay

-Lois nags someone

-Chris says something creepy

-Meg is chastised to her face

-Quagmire implies he has some sort of STD

-Adam West appearance (first time in the episode only)
adam west family guy, mayor west
-Celebrity pop culture reference (excluding when celebrities do their own voices)

-The show makes light of a disease or illness

-The show makes light of a historic tragedy

-Any racist, sexist or homophobic joke

-Any joke belittling religion or the trait of a religion's people

TWO DRINKS

-Muppets reference

-"Star Wars" reference

-Peter pulls a prank that actually hurts someone
family guy star wars, stewie darth vade, chris luke skywalker
-Brian displays a real dog-like trait, is treated like a dog, or both

-Stewie displays a baby-like trait

-Meg is chastised behind her back

-Joe being crippled is referenced

-Consuela appearance (first time only)

-God or Jesus appearance (first time only)

-Herbert implies pedophilia (first time only)
jesus family guy
-Celebrity voices themselves in pop culture reference or guest star appearance (only drink the initial time when it is a full-on guest star appearance)

-Celebrity is killed or dies

-Other "Animation Domination" show reference (i.e. "The Simpsons," "King of the Hill," "Bob's Burgers")

-Other Seth MacFarlane show reference (i.e. "American Dad," "The Cleveland Show")

-Any character expresses a strong liberal or conservative opinion on an issue

-Any character shows their bare ass or appears nude

-Audible flatulence

FIVE DRINKS (OR TWO BIG SWIGS)

-Musical number

-"Peanuts"/Charlie Brown reference

-Indiana Jones reference

-Main character is seriously injured or killed, only to appear fine in the next scene

-Quagmire's fascination with Lois is exposedfamily guy evil monkey

-Cleveland bathtub gag

-Evil Monkey appearance (first time only)

-Bruce appearance (first time only)

-Cutaway reveals the origin of a character or character's signature trait

-Joke from earlier in the episode is referenced again later in the episode

FINISH YOUR BEER

-Breakfast cereal mascot reference

-Cutaway takes place in first 30 seconds of the episode

-Live-action is used ifamily guy, peter hurts his kneenstead of animation (including real-life photos, but excluding claymation)

-Peter hurts his knee gag

-Stewie unveils a new invention

-The "wh" sound gag (i.e. Cool Whip)

-The Vaudeville Guys (Vern and Johnny) appearance

-"Surfin' Bird" is played (first time only)

SHOTGUN A FULL BEER

-Chicken fightfamily guy chicken fight

-The Griffins hang a newspaper article or headline in their living room

-Buzz Killington appearance

-Recurring character is killed off permanently

BONUS

-You can choose as a group whether or not you should have to chug your beer along with jokes you realize are dragging out purposely or absurdly long until the joke stops or you run out of beer.

-Each person chooses a catch phrase and gets to give out a drink every time it is said in the episode (for example, "Giggity," "What the deuce?," "PETA!," etc.)

-Every time Peter does his patented laugh, one person in the group has to take a drink. It then switches from person to person in a rotating order with each passing Peter laugh.

-Each person is allowed to guess during the episode which joke they think will be brought back to close the episode out (which has become common for the show). If you get it wrong, then it doesn't count against yofamily guy kool-aid manu in any way. If anyone gets it right, however, everyone else has to drink the rest of their beer.

-Any episode where the Kool-Aid Man appears, everyone has to put Kool-Aid mix in the beer/glass of wine they are currently drinking. Of course, if you have no Kool-Aid mix in your house, then no harm, no foul.

"FAMILY GUY" SHOWTIMES (all times subject to change)

TBS:
Mondays 8-10pm, 10:30-11pm
Wednesdays 8-9:30pm
Thursdays 8-9pm
Fridays 8-9pm

Adult Swim:
Mondays-Fridays 11-12pm, 2:30-3:30am (repeats)
Saturdays 10-11pm
Sundays 10:30pm, 11:30pm, 2:00am (repeat), 3:00am (repeat)

family guy puke-a-thon

 

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Reporter Wakes Up Only Man Waiting for Titans Tickets

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WKRN, Nashville News, Nashville Weather and Sports
The only exchange you really need to take away from this amazing video of a local Nashville reporter waking up the only man waiting in line for Tennessee Titans 2013 season tickets is this:

Reporter: Have you heard of the Internet?

Very Sleepy Titans Fan: Yeah. I don't have a credit card.

What's really beside the point here is that this man is about tradition. He goes on to reminisce how people used to camp out every year (with tents!) in the old days. Things aren't the way they used to be, that's for sure. And just to make sure the tradition stayed alive, he got there a full day earlier (at 9am) to make sure he would be first in line that no one else would get behind. Now it's just him, standing guard against the loss of yesteryear.

To be fair, he did point to two other people a few yards away and said that they were "three."

Love this guy.

 

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These Are Definitely Not the Names of the Pilots of Asiana Flight 214

The Internet Really Know How To Answer Important Questions

Ask A Girl: What Summer Cocktails Can I Make To Impress Women?

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Our friends over at StyleList want to help you out. So, instead of just assuming you know everything a woman desires, why don't you listen to the editors at the premiere fashion site on the Web and make sure you are doing the right thing when it comes to the opposite sex?

This week: What are some perfect summer cocktails I should learn to make that are sure to impress women?
Summer is the perfect time to sit back, relax, and enjoy a cocktail with friends, family, and yes, the occasional male friend. To find the perfect cocktail, you must know the woman you are making it for and her style can tell you a lot. Is she laid back, high-maintence, quiet, over-the-top? These attributes can provide key insights into the kind of cocktail she'll enjoy.

If she arrives wearing a pair of cut-off denim shorts and a white t-shirt serve her a Summer ale, she's pretty low-maintence. If she arrives wearing high heels, make her a mixed cocktail (soda has less calories), she's definitely high maintenance. Most women however, will likely choose a cute maxi dress or summer top and they'd love a nice refreshing beverage (add some fruit and she'll go out with you again). Our friends at Kitchen Daily have plenty of recipes that foot this bill. All in all, you don't need to be an expert at tending the bar, but any woman is impressed when a guy knows what he's doing.

All in all, have fun with summer cocktails! The girl you're crushing on will like you whether you make a mean mojito or not.

Looking for more insights in to the world of fashion and beauty? Check out StyleList.

 

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20 Commonly Misused or Misspelled Words and the Correct Way to Use Them

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If your someone that doesn't pay much attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling, than this sentence won't annoy you one bit. For many of us, however, bad diction can be a real pet peeve, and one that is only accentuated by the vast amount of social media out there. english book, grammar guyWe're so on the fly now as a society that spell checking is something done by the computer alone. We here at Mandatory are afraid that with the way the English language is headed, we need to do something to combat its slow decline. Therefore, we've put together a list of some of the most commonly confused words that people use on a regular basis, as well as how to use them correctly from now on. Do we consider ourselves heroes for this? No (just patriots).

Affect, Effect

Affect is usually a verb that means "to influence," while effect is usually a noun meaning "result" or "the result of." As a verb, however, it means "to bring about."

Easy way to remember: When something affects you, it has an effect on you (A comes before E).

All Right (not Alright)

Alright is the lazy man's all right. You should do your best to refrain from using "alright" in your day-to-day life in terms of writing. It's incorrect and not widely accepted in the grammar world (even though it isn't even corrected anymore with spell check). However, say it aloud however you like. It doesn't really make much difference in that regard.

Easy way to remember: "Alright" is not all right.

A Lot (not Alot)

Alot is another spelling that should be avoided, as it is two words. The phrase a lot (when used as a noun) means "a large extent, a large amount, or a large number." Even as an adverb, it means "to a great extent."

Easy way to remember: You wouldn't write "acat" when referring to a cat. Similarly, don't use "alot" to refer to a large extent, amount, or number.

Assume, Presume

To assume something means that you suppose it to be true, especially without proof. When you presume, however, you are taking something for granted as being true because there is no evidence to the contrary. Basically, you are smarter to presume than assume.

Easy way to remember: When you assume, you make an "ass" out of "u" and "me." That's not grammatically accurate (which sucks considering that's the whole point of this piece), but again, presuming is the more intelligent option.

Blond, Blonde

This word derives from French, which means it has masculine and feminine forms. Quite simply, blond refers to a man, and blonde refers to a woman. As an adjective, you'd use the masculine form unless you were specifically using it to describe a female. For instance, if you were to stumble upon a lock of this particular type of hair in the street, regardless of how creepy it would be, you'd say it was blond hair.

Easy way to remember: Men are simple. Women are complex. Hence, the added "e." If you somehow find that sexist, then you don't want to read my blonde joke bumper sticker.

Breath, Breathe

Breath is a noun referring to "the air coming in or going out of the lungs." Breathe is a verb referring to "the act of inhaling and exhaling." It's not complicated, yet the two words are often confused with one another when written.

Easy way to remember: When you breathe, you inhale and exhale breath.

Disinterested, Uninterested

If someone is disinterested, it means that they are "impartial or unbiased about something." However, if they are uninterested, it means that they simply "have no interest in it."

Easy way to remember: A judge need be disinterested, but never uninterested.

e.g., i.e.

Although neither of these are words, they are both used incorrectly quite often. e.g. stands for the Latin exempli gratiā, or "for example." i.e. is Latin for id est, meaning "that is." Therefore, you only use it if you are giving the only example(s) to quality your statement, as in "The photo was signed by the last surviving 'Golden Girl,' i.e., Betty White."

Easy way to remember: "e.g." and "example" both start with "e." "i.e." starts with "i," which is the Roman numeral for one.

Farther, Further

The word farther refers to "a physical distance," while further simply means "more." You could also think of it as "an extension of time or degree."

Easy way to remember: No matter how hard you try, you can never "farther" your career.

Fewer, Less

Everybody likes to feel smart once in a while, just don't let this little nugget get you beaten up at the supermarket. Fewer refers to quantities you can count, such as items in your cart, while less refers to quantities you can't count, such as a liquid. Obviously, you can measure amounts of a liquid, but not if you are just drinking it out of a bottle. For instance, you'd ask someone for less soda if they gave you to much, not fewer soda.

Easy way to remember: "10 items or less" should really be "10 items or fewer." Don't even get us started on "greater than or less than."

Have, Of

We have no intention of treating you guys like complete idiots. We just put this one here so you never write or say something like "could of" instead of "could have," which would be completely asinine.

Easy way to remember: There is no contraction for the word "of." We should've just said that in the first place.
guy with dictionary, man in library
Imply, Infer

To imply something means that the person talking is indirectly suggesting it. To infer means to come to a conclusion based on what you've heard.

Easy way to remember: The speaker implies, while the listener infers.

Irregardless

Please, just stop using irregardless. It's not a word, and you sound really stupid when you use it. Yes, we understand that it is technically in the dictionary, but it's listed as nonstandard, which means it's in wide use, but not proper. If you are going to continue saying and writing it despite (otherwise known as "regardless of") our plea, just know that it is actually a double-negative, and would therefore mean "with regard."

Easy way to remember: We actually don't want you to remember this one. Forget it forever.

Its, It's

Its is possessive, much like "my" or "your." It means "belonging to it." It's, however, is a contraction for "it is" or "it has."

Easy way to remember: If the word you are trying to say isn't short for "it is" or "it has," then the word is most likely "its" with no apostrophe.

Lay, Lie

To lay something means to do so with an object, as in to place it. To lie means to recline or rest on a surface. Sadly, the past tense of lie is lay (unless referring to the opposite of telling the truth, in which case it's lied), so it can get a little confusing.

Easy way to remember: Replace the word "lay" with "set," and the word "lie" with "sit." If you can't decide whether you need to lay or lie down after downing an entire taco Bell Big Box in one sitting, ask yourself if you should set or sit instead. Whichever sounds better, replace it with its corresponding word, and you'll have your answer.

Literally (figuratively)

We've gotten a little annoying as a society with the word literally. No one is so hungry that they could literally eat a whole cow, because that would mean that that is exactly what they could do. The word we are looking for most of the time is figuratively, which means metaphorically or as a figure of speech.

Easy way to remember: Just tell us what you are so hungry that you could actually eat. It might still be pretty funny.

Than, Then

Again, one of these words refers to time, and the other doesn't. Than is a conjunction comparing two things. Then is an adverb signifying time.

Easy way to remember: Then and when rhyme, and both refer to time.

Their, There, They're, There're

We're not trying to comfort a small child; we're just showing you the many variations of these similar sounding words and conjunctions. Their is possessive. The object belongs to them. There is referring to a location. They're and there're are contractions for they are and there are.

Easy way to remember: We don't think you'll forget. These words, particularly their and there, are just easily mixed up if typing too quickly. Just make sure to slow down and double check.

Unique

We know this sounds more like a Louis C.K. bit than anything else, but in a similar fashion to the word literally, unique is grossly misused in our society. While it is no so much overused, people tend to put words like "very" or "really" in front of it. The word already means one of a kind. Putting more qualifying words in front of it is just redundant.

Easy way to remember: Just like a unicorn, unique means that if you see one, you're unlikely to see another, no matter how special it seems.

Your, You're

Your is possessive. It belongs to you. You're is a contraction for you are.

Easy way to remember: Read both forms of the word as "you are" in the sentence. If it sounds silly, go with your.

 

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Get It While It's Hot: Best Gear for the Grilling Season

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Who Said It: Kanye Or Hitler?

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The Most Controversial Songs of All Time

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Internet Grandma Surprise: A Funny Meme Gallery

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Cinema's Greatest Jerk: A Tribute to Paul Gleason

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Today's Funniest Photos 7-15-13

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