So, if Mitt really did go so far to dye his face brown to appeal to Latinos, we wondered what Mitt would look like if he spoke to other segments of the community. And here's what it would look like:
Nicki Minaj has exploded into a superstar in the last few years and she's done it wearing a variety of wacky make-up, costumes and hair colors. Because of her versatility, the Internet started noticing her resemblance to a variety of other pop culture characters and things. This gallery is a collection of our favorite things that Nicki Minaj totally looks like.
Cotton Candy
Mrs. Potato Head
SpongeBob from the Mac n' Cheese Box
Yarn
Melon Cat
Sheep
Furby
Old Gregg
Spider-man
Female Gremlin
Little Red Riding Hood
With all the hullabaloo about voter fraud leading up to the election, it's illuminating to learn that very few people have actually been arrested for it in the United States. Since 2000, we've only found ten cases of in-person voter fraud in the whole country, which draconian voter ID laws are supposed to prevent. If you really want to see some serious election fraud, you need to expand your search. In this feature, we'll delve into ten extremely rigged elections from around the world to show how it's done.
Guyana, 1985
The South American nation of Guyana is no stranger to election fraud, as the ruling People's National Congress has been fixing ballots for decades. But 1985 was probably the biggest year for voting hijinks in the small, impoverished nation. When Desmond Hoyte, former second-in-command of the PNC, took over the party, he agreed to a general election in December. As a sop to foes of corruption, he promised that no absentee ballots from people overseas or votes by proxy would be counted. Sounds great, right? Unfortunately, Hoyte then ordered the state-owned media to not mention any other political party and staffed all the voting stations with PNC loyalists who spent all of Election Day stuffing the ballot boxes with votes cast by dead people. Needless to say, they took the election in a landslide.
Mexico, 1988
This is probably the most subtle fraud on the list. Typically when political scumbags cook the books, they do it in a big way to give the impression of a mandate, but the 1988 Mexican elections that saw Carlos Salinas de Gortari of the Institutional Revolutionary Party take office was almost too close to call. Gortari pulled only 50.7% of the vote, the lowest of any winning candidate since elections began in 1917. Cuauhtémoc Cárdenas, the candidate for the rival National Democratic Front, was far ahead in the polls, so the IRP went hog wild to make up the difference, publicly declaring that the vote-tabulating computer system had crashed, forging the results and declaring themselves the winner. All of the paper ballots were burned afterwards so nobody could prove the fraud.
Romania, 1946
The early days of proto-Communist nations were often rife with scandal, and one of the most suspect elections of all time happened in Romania in 1946. The scales were tipped from the start when the Romanian Communist Party essentially absorbed a number of smaller parties into a larger voting bloc, but the powers behind the Party weren't satisfied with doing things legally. From the outside, things looked pretty kosher - it was the first election in Romania that gave women the vote, for example. But on election day, things got crazy. Voters were trucked from precinct to precinct to vote for RCP candidates multiple times, and Army soldiers cracked down on areas where opposing parties were popular. After the vote, all ballots and count sheets were burned to prevent any investigation.
Liberia, 1927
Liberian President Charles D.B. King seemed like a pretty solid dude. He worked hard to build the tiny country's economy through trade deals and seemed set to bring it into the 20th century. But something seemed weird when he won the 1927 presidential election against Thomas Faulkner by 234,000 votes. That something was probably the fact that Liberia only had 15,000 registered voters. The sheer scale of the fraud in this matter drew more attention to King's policies, which were revealed to include conscripting citizens into forced labor gangs to do public works projects without paying them. He resigned soon after the election.
Georgia, 2003
The dissolution of the Soviet Union created a bevy of new states who were eager to participate in the democratic process. Unfortunately, those states also had a power structure that wanted to stay in power. One of the most notoriously corrupt electoral cycles came in 2003, when the ironically-named "For A New Georgia" party that supported incumbent President Eduard Shevardnadze set out to seriously rig the parliamentary elections in Georgia. Corruption was endemic from top to bottom - the government purged voter rolls in droves, eliminating whole neighborhoods of opposition voters and even denying Mikhail Saakashvili, the opposition leader, the right to vote. After the Rose Revolution later that year, Shevardnadze was forced to resign and new elections were held in 2004.
Germany, 1933
Even Adolf Hitler, history's greatest monster, dabbled in electoral fraud - but only when he had to. The Enabling Act of 1933 was a bill placed to the Reichstag, the governing body of Germany, by the newly-elected Chancellor Hitler. It basically gave executive powers to Hitler to make any damn law he pleased, taking all of the power away from the Reichstag. So why would anyone vote for it? Because Hitler either arrested, killed or drove into hiding all of the members of the opposing Social Democrat party while his crony Goring changed the voting rules to pass it without a quorum. After neutering the Reichstag, Hitler shut it down completely the next year, cementing his status as absolute dictator.
Haiti, 1962
One of the most bizarre cases of rigged elections in all of history came on the tiny island nation of Haiti. Francois Duvalier had installed himself in 1957 as the latest in a long line of tin-pot dictators, but under pressure from Western trading partners, he was urged to have public elections (the last seven guys just declared themselves "Presidents for life"). After a massive heart attack in 1959, Duvalier decided they were right, and nationwide elections were held in 1962 - a year before Duvalier's term was set to end. When the ballots were counted, 1,320,748 Haitians had proudly voted for "Papa Doc" Duvalier. And...none had voted for anybody else. It probably didn't hurt that all of the ballots were pre-marked with his name and nobody was allowed to run against him. After this spectacular victory, Duvalier went ahead and named himself President for life anyways.
Vietnam, 1955
After the 1954 Geneva Conference left Vietnam split between the Communist North and the Capitalist South, the nation desperately wanted to come back together. The solution was the 1955 State of Vietnam Referendum, which pit Emperor Bao Dai against the U.S.-supported Ngo Dinh Diem. The scales were lopsided from the very beginning. Dai wasn't allowed to actively campaign, leaving Diem to spend tons of American money on dirty politics, including mudslinging ads implying that Dai was a drunk womanizer. The ballot system itself was rigged - votes for Diem were with a red ballot, a color associated with prosperity in Asian cultures, while votes for Dai were with green ballots (exactly the opposite). Once the votes were counted, Diem won in a landslide, with more votes cast for him than there were eligible voters.
Russia, 2012
Sure, Vladimir Putin is a pretty serious badass, but that doesn't change the fact that his party has pretty much had a stranglehold in post-communist Russia for decades. The 2012 election that put him back on top is a pretty typical example of how the machine works. Putin needed to secure over 50% of the vote to avoid a runoff election, which could have worked out badly for him. Thankfully, Putin had a secret weapon at his disposal. They're known as the "administrative resource," government employees who are strongly urged to vote the right way if they want to keep their jobs. They make up about 20% of the electorate, and they were enough to get Putin in for another term.
United States, 1876
You thought the U.S. would get away without a mention here? Not so fast. The presidential election of 1876 is widely regarded as one of the most corrupt in this nation's history, perfectly illustrating why our Electoral College system is so completely screwed up. The contest was between Republican Rutherford B. Hayes and Democrat Samuel Tilden. Tilden whipped Hayes in the popular vote and looked to be ready to grab the presidency when 20 electoral votes were disputed. Tilden only needed one of them to win, but political maneuvering put Republicans in charge of the commission to determine the outcome, and they voted their man in despite the popular vote.
Each day we scour the Internet to find the funniest photos known to man. And then we post them in a gallery (like the one you're looking at right now.) Then you look at the photos and LOL. And then we do it all over again tomorrow. Unless it's Friday. Then we go drankin'.
If the waiting room takes forever, make sure you have patience when you visit your doctors.
Let's go ahead and make a clear rule: taunting alligators pretty much makes you a jerk.
Run away!
Today I ate some dirt and I threw up and now I feel sick.
This is my new all-time favorite Internet photo.
This is what the Mandatory Christmas party looks like.
No thank you, little girl.
Jesus christ those are some large panties.
Might want to go ahead and delete that number.
Can someone grab me a Cock Zero?
Yes, Yes I would love some fucking tea with Ozzy and Slash.
Spooning, not as romantic as it's cracked up to be.
How a woman sees her car dashboard.
If you've got it, flaunt it.
I'd probably go with the Porsche.
Finally, a bear that speaks the truth.
Free Bill Stickers!
This sounds like something sluts and douches would say.
This isn't a funny photo, but I didn't know where else to put it. If that parrot knew what it was actually saying, I'm never eating chicken (or parrot) ever again.
I wish American buses advertised breast and anus clinics.
"It's OK honey, don't be scared. Mommy needs you to be brave and find the flask she dropped."
It's the end of yet another big, loud, and crazy summer movie season, and if you're anything like me you don't remember anything about any of the movies you watched during the last four months besides a bunch of action scenes. In other words, you don't really care about all the brilliant subtleties of Christian Bale's interpretation of the Batman archetype as much as you want to see Batman jump ten stories and kick a criminal in the ding-ding. Yet for whatever reason the stuntmen and stuntwomen that make the craziest parts of your favorite movies possible barely get a mention in the credits. Is it fair that Tom Cruise gets top billing in a movie where a rocket get shot at his face, but the actual professional stuntman who took a rocket in the face gets a brief mention in the credits? No, and that's why this article is going to recognize some of film's greatest and least-recognized stunt performers.
HAL NEEDHAM
One of the top names in stunt performance during the 1970s, Hal Needham was attracted to danger and excitement all his life. Leaving his first career as a treetopping logger to serve in the Army's paratrooper corps during the Korean War, Needham discovered a knack for parachuting and other aerial stunts which led to his first film role as a wing-walker in 1957's Spirit of St. Louis. He enjoyed the experience so much he spent the next nine months trying to break into the stunt business, including a performance on TV show "You Asked For It" where he parachuted onto a galloping horse, knocking the rider out of the saddle. Eventually Needham found a job as stunt double on "Have Gun, Will Travel" which soon led to a number of stunt roles in Westerns such as "McClintock!" and "How The West Was Won."
Needham is best known today as the writer and director of "Smokey and the Bandit", starring close friend Burt Reynolds (Needham once said he slept in Reynolds' guest house for more than a decade) and a number of other silly movies with awesome stunts ("Hooper", "The Cannonball Run"), but his most important contribution was most likely his introduction of airbags and other safety equipment to the stunt industry, some of which he designed himself.
VIC ARMSTRONG
Unassuming-looking Englishman Victor Monroe Armstrong is in fact the world's most accomplished stunt double, having stood in for Chris Reeves' Superman, Timothy Dalton and George Lazenby's James Bond(s), and most famously Harrison Ford's Indiana Jones. At the time Armstrong resembled Ford so closely that he was able to fill in for several non-stunt sequences after the actor suffered a back injury, and off the set the Jones film crew often mistook him for Ford until they heard him speaking with an English accent, leading Harrison to famously tell Vic "If you learn to talk I'm in deep trouble!"
Like many stunt performers who got their start in the sixties and fifties, Armstrong came into stunt work by way of his horse-riding skill: the chief stuntman for the Gregory Peck/Sophia Loren thriller Arabesque sought quality horses for the picture from Armstrong's family farm and immediately recognized the young man's skill with horses, hiring him on as a stunt rider on the spot. Vic's horsemanship served him throughout his career-one of his most famous stunts was the jump from a horse onto a German tank during "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade"-but like many long-term stunt performers, he mostly works as a stunt coordinator and action unit director, especially known for his work on the Brosnan-era James Bond films.
ZOE BELL
As a young girl in New Zealand, Zoë E. Bell was a dedicated and talented athlete, active in gymnastics, track and field, dance, SCUBA diving, and Taekwon-Do, and her stunt career began with a literal lucky break-her father, a doctor, was treating a stuntman for a head injury sustained in a local film and came home with a phone number for Bell to contact. After a few appearances in New Zealand TV series, Bell hit it big as the stunt double for fellow Kiwi Lucy Lawless in "Xena: Warrior Princess," and then bigger as the double for Uma Thurman in the Kill Bill series. While Bell was originally intended to double Thurman only for "crash-and-smash" scenes ("Basically, I would just be falling on my ass"), Tarantino decided that Bell's height and physique made her an ideal fight double as well, so after a crash course in wushu-style sword fighting, Bell hacked and slashed her way through a number of action scenes. Tarantino was so impressed with her performance and personality that he cast her as herself in his 2007 grindhouse stunt film "Death Proof".
HB HALICKI
Henry Blight "Toby" Halicki was a skilled mechanic, brilliant businessman, fearless driver, and cult film maker whose extremely small body of work (only five films) is still notable for their classic and striking car stunts. Halicki was owner and operator of his own auto body shop before he was out of high school, and had expanded into two other businesses and local real estate by the time he was 21. By 1974, Halicki had amassed an enormous car collection, a lot of friends and favors among the local government, and more cash than he really knew what to do with.
A sensible, boring person would have just kept on amassing money and cars forever, maybe at some point running for Congress. H.B. Halicki was not a sensible or boring person, so he decided to write, produce, direct, and star in his very own stunt movie, "Gone in Sixty Seconds".
If you bought "Gone in Sixty Seconds" looking for the sort of revolutionary performances in acting and scripting that characterized the best of 70s independent film-making, you should probably try and get your $4.99 back, because Halicki kept the budget manageable by employing his friends and family as cast and crew and the non-car-chase scenes are laughably bad. Much of the film is improvised (not so well) and frequently Halicki had his camera crew film unrelated traffic scenes or random incidents (including a train derailment) which he later inserted semi-randomly into the film to fill it out.
What made the film famous (or infamous) is the climactic 34-minute chase of Halicki in his '73 Mustang Mach I "Eleanor," the longest chase scene in movie history, which spanned five cities, damaged or destroyed 93 cars from Halicki's collection (including some donated cars that were accidentally wrecked which he later had to buy), and culminates in a 30-foot-high jump over a 128-foot gap that compacted ten vertebrae in Halicki's back, leaving him with a slight limp for the rest of his life. Halicki's promising career as stunt performer and director came to a premature end during the filming of "Gone in Sixty Seconds 2" when a safety cable suddenly sheared, crushing him under a telephone pole.
YAKIMA CANUTT
Yakima Canutt (born Enos Edward Canutt and not actually from Yakima) originally made a name for himself in the Northwestern rodeo circuit, earning the title of World's Best Bronco Buster at seventeen and continuing on to win numerous awards and recognitions all across the West. Inevitably, Canutt attracted the attention of the early Hollywood film industry, and appeared in almost fifty silent films alongside famed cowboy entertainers like Tom Mix and mainstream movie stars like Douglas Fairbanks. Unfortunately for "Yak," his acting contract expired just before the rise of the "talkie," and a bout of flu during his time in the Navy had left his voice rough, scratchy, and generally unmarketable.
Undaunted, Canutt fell back on his stunt riding experience and began introducing more and more rodeo riders and techniques to 1930s Hollywood. He took the safety devices and sleight-of-hand tricks developed from years of rodeo performances and adapted them for the big screen, allowing cowboy stunts to be performed cheaper, safer, and fancier. With his close friend John Wayne, Yakima developed a system of "screen fighting" where performers could appear to trade savage bare-knuckle blows without ever touching each other-the fundamentals of his technique are still in use today-and was instrumental in developing the roles of "stunt coordinator" and "action unit director." Yakima Canutt survived some twenty years of dangerous stunt work and continued directing and coordinating action scenes for twenty years more, eventually dying of natural causes at the age of 90. Many still consider him to be the world's finest stuntman.
HELEN GIBSON
Although no professional association for female stunt performers existed until 1968 and the creation of the Stunt Women's Association for Motion Pictures (SWAMP), a handful of skilled, courageous, and spirited women had been working as stunt doubles for men and women since the earliest years of film. Chief among them was Rose August Wenger, a "tomboy" from Cleveland who joined the Miller Brothers Wild West Show at seventeen. When the company abruptly shut down, Wenger found herself marooned outside of Venice, California, where she and the rest of the rodeo cast was hired into the film business for an individual payment of eight dollars a week. Soon she was appearing in a billed role as a cowgirl in between rodeo performances, often appearing with her lover Hoot Gibson (who she eventually married, largely because it was cheaper to book one room for the both of them than two).
Rose Gibson (as she now called herself) found her greatest role as a stunt double for actress Helen Holmes in the long-running action-adventure serial "The Hazards of Helen". Gibson doubled for 49 episodes before Holmes fell ill and the studio offered Rose the chance to play the lead-she did so well that Holmes' contract was cancelled and Gibson became the new "Helen."
The studio ensured continuity by billing their new actress as "Helen Gibson," a name she eventually officially adopted, and for the next 70 episodes she planned and performed some of the most exciting stunts of the silent-movie era. Sadly, The Hazards of Helen was to be the peak of her career, and after a misfortune-plagued attempt to set up her own production company, she was relegated to bit and character roles for the remainder of her film career.
REMY JULIENNE
One of Europe's premier vehicle stunt specialists, French motocross champion Remy Julienne has worked on more than 1400 films, including six Bond movies and the celebrated British car-caper film "The Italian Job". Julienne revolutionized the filming of cars in action scenes as well as the training and coordination of stunt drivers. He's particularly known for his insistence on cars behaving and performing realistically-sustaining damage from jumps, turning and braking within their real-life limits-even while having them perform astonishing stunts, such as the 60-foot jump crested by a Mini Cooper for The Italian Job.
Unfortunately, Julienne's career suffered after a tragic accident in 1999 took the life of a stunt driver under his supervision, and while he eventually showed that the production company was primarily responsible for the performer's death, he has found less success with other companies. His two sons Michel and Dominique carry on his work as renowned stunt drivers.
YUEN WOO-PING
Sammo Hung, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Chow Yun-Fat, Stephen Chow-chances are that if you've heard the name of a Hong Kong or Chinese action star other than Bruce Lee, he or she has at some point been trained, directed, or choreographed by the legendary Yuen Woo-Ping, a Guangzhou-born martial artist who is arguably one of the most influential directors on the planet. Yuen's two 1978 films, "Snake in the Eagle's Shadow" and "Drunken Master" launched both the massively popular "kung fu comedy" genre and the career of Jackie Chan, who would become an important and respected stunt choreographer in his own right.
His influence on martial arts stunt presentations (particularly on the use of "wire fu") is almost impossible to overstate, and it's difficult to find a Hong Kong action film that doesn't make use of at least one of his cinematic techniques.
Yuen Woo-Ping's fame was so notable in martial arts cinema that he was recruited by the Wachowski brothers as stunt coordinator for "The Matrix". While Yuen personally felt that his advice was ignored and undervalued, the film's success made his name in American cinema, and he was hired for the three sequels and brought on to direct the multinational "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" and the explicitly American "Kill Bill". Yuen also appeared in many of the films he directed or choreographed, often as a comedic bit character-American audiences may recognize his face from his brief, self-parodying part as a homeless martial-arts genius/scam artist in 2004's "Kung Fu Hustle", a kung-fu comedy that in many ways was an overt homage to Yuen's pioneering films in the genre.
JEANNIE EPPER
Truthfully, nearly any member of the Epper family could justifiably appear on this list-Switzerland-born patriarch John Epper entered the stunt business in 1926, and at least 15 of his descendants followed him-but Jeannie Epper earns pride of place both from the length of her performance career (she's been actively participating in stunts from 1965's "The Big Valley" to the unreleased 2012 thriller Flight) and her role in organizing and promoting female stunt performers.
As Lynda Carter's stunt double in the "Wonder Woman" TV series, she was the best-known member of the otherwise practically invisible stuntwoman community, allowing her to take a role in the foundation of trade association SWAMP, which negotiated better pay and better roles for female stunt performers in an era where stunt doubles for women were still more often than not men.
While the great majority of aging stuntmen were able to transition easily into roles as directors and choreographers, Epper ran headlong into one of Hollywood's many glass ceilings, and to some extent she regrets never being allowed to "graduate" to a coordinating position. On the other hand, there aren't many 70-year-old stunt performers of either gender, and when interviewed by the PBS documentary "Double Dare", Epper expressed a certain satisfaction with her career, saying "I've been doing stunts for almost 50 years. It's all I really know, outside of being a mom and a grandma. Retirement's not for me."
DAR ROBINSON
Often considered the finest stuntman in American movie history, Dar Robinson set more than 21 records for jumps and free-falls during his 19-year 36-film career, all without breaking a single bone in his body. A "high-fall" specialist, Robinson got his start as stunt double for Steve McQueen's character in "Papillon" in a hundred-foot dive into the sea, and accomplished feats such as the highest free-fall (meaning without wires or parachute, aiming for an airbag) from a helicopter (331 feet), the highest free-fall from a building (220 feet), and one of the highest wire-assisted falls from any structure (a stunning 1200 feet from Toronto's CN Tower).
Given a rare featured role in Burt Reynolds' Stick as albino assassin Mokey, Robinson capped the movie with a stunning fall from a penthouse condominium to a bare concrete-nowhere to hide an airbag-while the camera holds focus on him for a full five seconds. The secret was a Robinson-designed wire rig called a "decelerator" that allowed performers to free-fall longer than usual before quickly and safely slowing them to a halt.
Tragically, Robinson's life ended only a year after the release of Stick in a freak motorcycle accident for the forgettable flop "Million Dollar Mystery". After filming the main stunt, Robinson was filming a high-speed pass for second unit footage when he unaccountably missed his braking point and skidded straight off a cliff. The three films he was working with at the time of his death-"MDM", "Cyclone", and "Lethal Weapon"-were dedicated to his memory, with the closing credits of "Lethal Weapon" referring to him as "one of the motion picture industry's greatest stuntmen."
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Back in May we posted a very sexy Rosanna Arkle gallery, and today we have 14 new hot photos of Rosie for you to enjoy. The model and reality TV star has been very busy since we last saw her, with her show "The GC" airing on TV3 in New Zealand, and with a charity boxing event that took place in July against rival reality TV star, Jaime Ridge. Arkle lost the match against her larger opponent, but went the distance and is obviously still a winner in our eyes.
The Rosanna Arkle 2013 Calendar is available now. Order it today and follow Rosie on Twitter.
Back in May we posted a very sexy Rosanna Arkle gallery, and today we have 14 new hot photos of Rosie for you to enjoy. The model and reality TV star has been very busy since we last saw her, with her show "The GC" airing on TV3 in New Zealand, and with a charity boxing event that took place in July against rival reality TV star, Jaime Ridge. Arkle lost the match against her larger opponent, but went the distance and is obviously still a winner in our eyes.
The Rosanna Arkle 2013 Calendar is available now. Order it today and follow Rosie on Twitter.
Back in May we posted a very sexy Rosanna Arkle gallery, and today we have 14 new hot photos of Rosie for you to enjoy. The model and reality TV star has been very busy since we last saw her, with her show "The GC" airing on TV3 in New Zealand, and with a charity boxing event that took place in July against rival reality TV star, Jaime Ridge. Arkle lost the match against her larger opponent, but went the distance and is obviously still a winner in our eyes.
The Rosanna Arkle 2013 Calendar is available now. Order it today and follow Rosie on Twitter.
Back in May we posted a very sexy Rosanna Arkle gallery, and today we have 14 new hot photos of Rosie for you to enjoy. The model and reality TV star has been very busy since we last saw her, with her show "The GC" airing on TV3 in New Zealand, and with a charity boxing event that took place in July against rival reality TV star, Jaime Ridge. Arkle lost the match against her larger opponent, but went the distance and is obviously still a winner in our eyes.
The Rosanna Arkle 2013 Calendar is available now. Order it today and follow Rosie on Twitter.
Back in May we posted a very sexy Rosanna Arkle gallery, and today we have 14 new hot photos of Rosie for you to enjoy. The model and reality TV star has been very busy since we last saw her, with her show "The GC" airing on TV3 in New Zealand, and with a charity boxing event that took place in July against rival reality TV star, Jaime Ridge. Arkle lost the match against her larger opponent, but went the distance and is obviously still a winner in our eyes.
The Rosanna Arkle 2013 Calendar is available now. Order it today and follow Rosie on Twitter.
Back in May we posted a very sexy Rosanna Arkle gallery, and today we have 14 new hot photos of Rosie for you to enjoy. The model and reality TV star has been very busy since we last saw her, with her show "The GC" airing on TV3 in New Zealand, and with a charity boxing event that took place in July against rival reality TV star, Jaime Ridge. Arkle lost the match against her larger opponent, but went the distance and is obviously still a winner in our eyes.
The Rosanna Arkle 2013 Calendar is available now. Order it today and follow Rosie on Twitter.
Back in May we posted a very sexy Rosanna Arkle gallery, and today we have 14 new hot photos of Rosie for you to enjoy. The model and reality TV star has been very busy since we last saw her, with her show "The GC" airing on TV3 in New Zealand, and with a charity boxing event that took place in July against rival reality TV star, Jaime Ridge. Arkle lost the match against her larger opponent, but went the distance and is obviously still a winner in our eyes.
The Rosanna Arkle 2013 Calendar is available now. Order it today and follow Rosie on Twitter.
Back in May we posted a very sexy Rosanna Arkle gallery, and today we have 14 new hot photos of Rosie for you to enjoy. The model and reality TV star has been very busy since we last saw her, with her show "The GC" airing on TV3 in New Zealand, and with a charity boxing event that took place in July against rival reality TV star, Jaime Ridge. Arkle lost the match against her larger opponent, but went the distance and is obviously still a winner in our eyes.
The Rosanna Arkle 2013 Calendar is available now. Order it today and follow Rosie on Twitter.
Back in May we posted a very sexy Rosanna Arkle gallery, and today we have 14 new hot photos of Rosie for you to enjoy. The model and reality TV star has been very busy since we last saw her, with her show "The GC" airing on TV3 in New Zealand, and with a charity boxing event that took place in July against rival reality TV star, Jaime Ridge. Arkle lost the match against her larger opponent, but went the distance and is obviously still a winner in our eyes.
The Rosanna Arkle 2013 Calendar is available now. Order it today and follow Rosie on Twitter.
Back in May we posted a very sexy Rosanna Arkle gallery, and today we have 14 new hot photos of Rosie for you to enjoy. The model and reality TV star has been very busy since we last saw her, with her show "The GC" airing on TV3 in New Zealand, and with a charity boxing event that took place in July against rival reality TV star, Jaime Ridge. Arkle lost the match against her larger opponent, but went the distance and is obviously still a winner in our eyes.
The Rosanna Arkle 2013 Calendar is available now. Order it today and follow Rosie on Twitter.
Back in May we posted a very sexy Rosanna Arkle gallery, and today we have 14 new hot photos of Rosie for you to enjoy. The model and reality TV star has been very busy since we last saw her, with her show "The GC" airing on TV3 in New Zealand, and with a charity boxing event that took place in July against rival reality TV star, Jaime Ridge. Arkle lost the match against her larger opponent, but went the distance and is obviously still a winner in our eyes.
The Rosanna Arkle 2013 Calendar is available now. Order it today and follow Rosie on Twitter.
Back in May we posted a very sexy Rosanna Arkle gallery, and today we have 14 new hot photos of Rosie for you to enjoy. The model and reality TV star has been very busy since we last saw her, with her show "The GC" airing on TV3 in New Zealand, and with a charity boxing event that took place in July against rival reality TV star, Jaime Ridge. Arkle lost the match against her larger opponent, but went the distance and is obviously still a winner in our eyes.
The Rosanna Arkle 2013 Calendar is available now. Order it today and follow Rosie on Twitter.
Back in May we posted a very sexy Rosanna Arkle gallery, and today we have 14 new hot photos of Rosie for you to enjoy. The model and reality TV star has been very busy since we last saw her, with her show "The GC" airing on TV3 in New Zealand, and with a charity boxing event that took place in July against rival reality TV star, Jaime Ridge. Arkle lost the match against her larger opponent, but went the distance and is obviously still a winner in our eyes.
The Rosanna Arkle 2013 Calendar is available now. Order it today and follow Rosie on Twitter.
Back in May we posted a very sexy Rosanna Arkle gallery, and today we have 14 new hot photos of Rosie for you to enjoy. The model and reality TV star has been very busy since we last saw her, with her show "The GC" airing on TV3 in New Zealand, and with a charity boxing event that took place in July against rival reality TV star, Jaime Ridge. Arkle lost the match against her larger opponent, but went the distance and is obviously still a winner in our eyes.
The Rosanna Arkle 2013 Calendar is available now. Order it today and follow Rosie on Twitter.
Robotic land mammals that are faster than the fastest man; human soldiers replaced by smarter, stronger robots; hummingbirds and flies as spies; the reality of the not-too-far-off future in top secret government technology is steadily becoming more and more terrifying. Here are 10 incarnations of military and technological imagination gone wild.
Secret Air Force Space Plane
Next month, the Air Force's super-secretive X-37B space plane will take is third trip into orbit-and like its two predecessors, the government isn't saying much about its purpose. Some speculate it's a spy station. China says it's an experimental weapons platform. Playing his cards close to the vest, Air Force Lt. Col. Tom McIntyre maintains, "The focus of the program-and of this upcoming mission-remains on testing vehicle capabilities and proving the utility and cost effectiveness of a reusable spacecraft." Hmm...
"Robocop-style" glasses
Brazilian police plan to use face-scanning sunglasses fitted with state-of-the-art facial recognition technology to help authorities weed out potential troublemakers at the upcoming 2014 World Cup. The small cameras are capable of capturing up to 400 facial images per second and instantly transmitting them to a central database that can hold some 13 million faces. There the system instantly compares biometric data of some 46,000 points on an individual's face and signals any matches to known criminals or people wanted by the police to the authorities.
Fake hummingbird spy drones
Last year the Pentagon unveiled a $4 million pocketsize spy drone disguised innocently enough as a hummingbird that the Army expects will provide intelligence on enemy positions in war zones without arousing detection. The tiny spy planes-which measure just 16 centimeters, weigh less than a AA battery, and can fly up to 11 miles an hour-were presented to Pentagon officials by California-based AeroVironment, already one of the world's largest drone suppliers. Chris Fisher, project manager at AeroVironment explains: "It gives the guy on the ground the opportunity to see what's on the other side of the hill. There's only so much you can see with binoculars."
Robot Mules
Pentagon contractor Boston Dynamics is developing robotic pack mules that will give U.S. troops mobility through terrain too difficult for ordinary Army vehicles. The 800-pound four-legged robots (which still require another two years of testing before being put into action) are equipped with a smart camera system that provides the "eyes" to make decisions on the fly and "ears" to respond to simple commands. The Legged Support System (or LS3, as the project is known) can reach speeds of up to 28 mph and would be capable of carrying all the gear soldiers would require in combat.
DARPA's and Boston Dynamic's Cheetah
Also from Boston Dynamics comes another DARPA-funded project-the Cheetah, which recently set the fastest ever land-speed record at an implausible 28.3 mph, faster even than the human land-speed record of 27.9 set in 2009 by Olympian Usain Bolt. While the Cheetah is still confined to the testing treadmill, next year Boston Dynamics plans to release the WildCat, a faster version of the Cheetah capable of running free in the wild. Once completed, DARPA plans to use WildCats to deliver emergency response and humanitarian aid in areas too dangerous or remote for human intervention.
Microwave Ray Gun
Under a research contract from the U.S. Navy, microwave ray guns are being developed by Sierra Nevada Corp. that are designed to beam sounds directly into people's heads at a distance of up to several hundred yards away. The device-dubbed MEDUSA (Mob Excess Deterrent Using Silent Audio)-exploits the microwave audio effect, in which short microwave pulses rapidly heat tissue causing a sound effect "loud" enough to cause discomfort or even incapacitation. While supposedly intended for non-lethal use in crowd control, future military uses for this type of technology are sure to arouse the imagination.
Pokémon inspires seizure gun
In recently declassified documents it was revealed that in the late '90s the U.S. military began exploring the development of a secret weapon plan that included a seizure-inducing ray gun, an idea first inspired by a 1997 episode of the cartoon Pokémon, which caused more than 700 viewers in Japan to experience epileptic symptoms because of the show's rapidly flashing lights. The device was designed to blast the enemy with electromagnetic pulses strong enough to cause disruption of voluntary muscle control (a.k.a. a seizure). The Army's interest in the technology has of yet not materialized (publicly, at least) but it's probably a safe bet that neurological weaponry is sure to be on the horizon.
Space-based lasers
While international treaties currently in place prevent the militarization of space, researchers are nonetheless working on "defense" plans for when those existing agreements expire. Space-based lasers would be capable of attacking an enemy's missile stockpile thousands of miles away or intercepting ballistic missile attacks on U.S. soil and/or orbiting satellites. Sandia National Laboratory, M.I.T., and a number of national defense contractors, including Northrop Grumman and Lockheed Martin, are among those developing the technology.
PETMAN by Boston Dynamics
The PETMAN, an acronym for Protection Ensemble Test Mannequin, was developed by Boston Dynamics supposedly as a robot intended to test out the clothing worn by U.S. military personnel. Though once you see these massive bipedal robots in action, perfectly mimicking human movement, it's hard to not imagine that the robot apocalypse is imminent.
Fly-bot developed by Harvard and DARPA
Not much larger than a lightning bug, this micro-miniature remote-controlled surveillance drone, developed by researchers at Harvard and DARPA, will be used to collect reconnaissance information in areas decimated by biological or chemical weapons. Other possibilities include espionage and the ability to sniff out chemical weapons. There's no word on whether the military has already employed use of the Fly-bot as of yet, but the technology seems to be well ready.
Another week, another batch of inappropriately hilarious tweets compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them yourself. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.
Follow @robfee on Twitter, and check out his bestselling comedy album, "Grape Stomp," on iTunes.
Every woman has her date bra and her fat pants and her crying shirt and her murder wig and her courtroom brooch.
I always cry when I see a dog with three legs because I only have two legs.
How did we all figuring out that blowing into Nintendo cartridges worked pre-internet? We were total little kid badasses in the 80s..
Hey you guys sorry I know this is suuuuper last minute but can any of you be my black Kate Moss tonight??
My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to Google headquarters and ask them shit in person.
Saw a Vespa crash into a Toyota Prius today. There was glitter everywhere.
If I worked at a pizza place I would use pepperoni to spell out "Marry me?" on pizzas all the time just to make things awkward for couples.
You know you're a whore when you're fat and popular.
I swear the next person who pisses me off will find out very quickly that my threats are empty.
Happy 3rd Birthday, Texaco hotdog on the far left roller!
Don't stare at me during sex! I don't know you!
When the battery life on my phone turns to 20% I know exactly how the captain of the Titanic must have felt upon impact.
Hey mom, thanks for sending me that frightening email about how ponytails are handles for rapists. Now I'm scared of my own hair.
Kill him, he's different! - History
The White Stripes are teaming up with The Black Keys to form A Piano.
"I'm a little bitch who misses his parents." - Batman
Swimming is pretty fun for an activity where all you do is just not let yourself die.
Your vagina should not be lower than the hem of your shorts.
As men, it's our job to know if what we are putting in our mouths makes us more or less of a man, especially when it comes to cocktails. Take a glance at our list of 20 cocktails and how they're made, from the fresh and fruity to the downright dirty, and you decide if it's a manly choice or a girly choice. Then take a look at our verdict. Remember, if it's not putting hair on your chest, it'll seem like you have a pair of breasts. Choose wisely!
1. Old Fashioned
The apparent drink of choice for Don Draper and the boys of "Mad Men." Lightly crafted but with a mean punch you'll feel after a few. It's great for long hours at the office and verbally abusing women in the '60s.
1½ oz. bourbon
2 dashes bitters
2 tsp sugar (dissolved)
1 of each (cherry, orange slice, lemon wedge)
Verdict: Manly
2. Manhattan
Popularized in the late 1800s, the Manhattan originated in the New York club scene. The drink flows between all types of fancy crowds, all the way from driven, successful women down to Jack Kerouac.
1¾ oz. bourbon
¾ oz. sweet vermouth
1 dash bitters
1 cherry
Verdict: Manly
3. Cosmopolitan
You might as well turn your balls in if you're ordering these on your own. At least lie and say it's for your girlfriend, even though we know you don't have one.
1 oz. vodka
½ oz. triple sec
½ lime juice
½ oz. cranberry juice
Verdict: Girly
4. Bloody Mary
There are countless variations to the art of a good Bloody Mary. Some like it spicy while others like it strong. Either way you're getting your vitamins and out of a bad hangover. Feel free to try your own variation and get your friends to stop whining about the tomato juice being too tomato-y.
1½ oz. vodka
2 dashes Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp horseradish
4 dashes (Tabasco) hot sauce
1 lemon wedge (squeezed and added)
Salt & pepper
Add ice and fill with tomato juice
Celery salt for the rim
1 celery stalk (or pickle spear)
Verdict: Manly
5. Mai Tai
As the official drink of tropical vacations. The Mai Tai is a classic poolside choice for when you want to relax and pretend to be taking in the scenery when you're really staring down all the half-naked beach bunnies with your dark, dark sunglasses on. It's no vacation without a Mai Tai.
1 oz. light rum
1 oz. dark rum
½ oz. triple sec
¾ oz. orgeat
1 oz. lime juice
1 cherry
1 pineapple wedge
Verdict: Manly
6. Screwdriver
It's the official first drink of everyone, especially if beginning around the age of 15. It makes sense because it's light, easy to make and tasty when you toss it back up for the first time. It's also a good substitute for a mimosa if you're all out of champagne. Now that's a champagne problem.
2 oz. vodka
Freshly squeezed orange juice
Orange wedge
Verdict: Girly
7. Jack & Coke
The classic alcoholic, black out combination lies here. Nothing says hangover like some commercially successful whiskey thrown into a glass with a sugary dark soda. If you're a big fan of these and wonder why you've made so many terrible decisions lately, the answer is likely staring you in the face every Saturday night.
2 oz. Jack Daniels
Coca cola to wherever you consider the top
Verdict: Manly
8. Gin & Tonic
If you're looking for a chick who loves things that smell like pine trees, then look no further. This tasty lick features gin and a little more variety than a bland vodka soda water.
2 oz. gin
5 oz. tonic water
1 lime wedge
Verdict: Girly
9. White Russian
More commonly found in the winter season, this cult classic cocktail can not only take you back to the grand days of "The Big Lebowski," but catapult you into a dairy-filled evening of catastrophic word slurring and quotes from The Dude. We'd like to offer warning to the lactose intolerant that this might be better left untouched.
1 oz. vodka
1 oz. heavy cream
½ oz. coffee liqueur
Verdict: Manly
10. Mojito
The mint-inspired rum drink that is assured to piss off any bartender on a busy weekend afternoon, the mojito is a refreshing blend of light rum and fizzy sass. Don't get too hooked on these. They're best left for special occasions.
2 oz. light rum
1 lime
½ oz. simple syrup
8-10 mint leaves
Club soda
Verdict: Manly
11. Whiskey Sour
When made correctly, this is one of the best whiskey concoctions out there. When made poorly, it tastes like someone spit up a sugary mess into a fine glass of American whiskey. Make it right, son.
2 oz. whiskey
½ oz. fresh lemon juice
½ oz. tsp sugar
1 cherry
½ lemon slice
Verdict: Manly
12. Sea Breeze
The Cosmo's ugly, yet slightly healthier, older sister is the Sea Breeze. Mixed with the right blend of fruit juices, this one is surely going to depress your liver to the point of instant sobriety.
1¾ oz. vodka
3 oz. cranberry juice
1 oz. grapefruit juice
Grapefruit slice
Verdict: Girly
13. Tom Collins
Close to the margarita or mojito of the gin world, the Tom Collins is a proper afternoon cocktail, perfect for having guests on the back porch for a nice little get-together.
1 oz. fresh lemon juice
1 tsp sugar
1½ gin
2 lemon slices
Verdict: Manly
14. Pina Colada
This poolside treat magically combines the taste of a delicious, fruity vacation cocktail with the taste of the lotion you forgot to put on before going out and roasting like a pig in that summer sun. Be careful how many you have. They may look light, but like most innocent-looking pastries, they're filled with dangerous cream.
2 oz. dark rum
2 oz. pineapple juice
1 ½ oz. coconut cream
Verdict: Girly
15. Sidecar
Here's a fresh daytime take on a common evening cognac. The wife sees this and thinks it's a delicious light choice for her man, but she'll think differently once she sees you trying to put together the swing set after you've had a handful of these.
1½ oz. cognac
¾ oz. triple sec
¾ oz. fresh lemon juice
1 orange slice
Verdict: Manly
16. Tequila Sunrise
Not commonly seen, yet a smart decision, the Tequila Sunrise is a great way to start the weekend days off right. Refreshing, rejuvenating and that tequila buzz? We should be so lucky.
1½ oz. tequila
3 oz. orange juice
1 tsp grenadine
Verdict: Manly
17. Dirty Martini
Any classic film noir face or jazzy music clubber is likely to don a feather in their cap and the infamous dirty martini. The trick is to get it right, because nobody likes a bad dirty martini. It needs just the right amount of dirty.
2½ oz. gin
1½ oz. vermouth (preferably dry)
½ oz. olive juice
3 green olives (stuffed with blue cheese)
Verdict: Manly
18. Daiquiri
Pray that you're aboard a cruise ship in the middle of the Caribbean if you happen to be drinking one of these, because people just don't order them in real life. Although a delicious rum treat, the daiquiri is most commonly drank by teenagers who raided their neighbors' refrigerators in the summer heat.
1½ oz. light rum
¾ oz. lime juice
¼ oz. simple syrup
Verdict: Girly
19. Three Fingers of Ron Burgundy
There are a lot of people looking to match drinks with the rugged wild anchorman, especially with a sequel on the way, since the man seems to have such a damn good time. We're certain there's other cocktails dedicated to the man, but this is the best. The only question is what to do with the other seven fingers (probably make a scotch).
12 oz. can Sprite
1 oz. triple sec
1 oz. apple pucker schnapps
1 oz. mango rum
Verdict: Manly
20. Vodka Red Bull
Here's the common choice if you're either a sleepless college dropout or a nervous Nellie who loves a good heart palpitation. This one will get you going whether you're ready for it or not. Be careful because the toxic sugar and paved-on taste of Red Bull is great at disguising how much vodka is actually present.
2 oz. vodka
¾ can Red Bull
Verdict: Girly
Chances are you've seen these people zooming around the Sbarro at the mall, but have you ever seen them ordering a McDouble at the drive through? Some people say obesity is a disease, others call it a lifestyle.
"My sweats are getting a little snug..."
"Hey! I need one of you damn kids to take me out for my errands today! Hey! Answer me damnit!"
"Sir, your children put you in this assisted living facility...they aren't here."
"Ah the hell with 'em! I'll do it myself! ...damn foreigners..."
"Alright, we race to panties, turn right, and finish up in tires."
"What are you looking at you rascals?! What?! What is so funny about me saying ras...oh damnit..."
"No DIET coke...close one."
"Who says I have to walk down here? Now where the hell is the Cinnabon?"
"I won't stop for kids, they have to learn."
"I didn't pay for shit!"
"So you think we have a case? All I ate was meatball subs from Subway for three years and I didn't lose a single pound!"
"Sir, chew with your mouth closed, you're embarassing yourself."
"I told you this wasn't practical! But nooooooooooo! You and your male ego..."
"I have to go to the bathroom, I'll meet up with you all in 6 hours."
I'm sure she's exhausted from all of her hard work.
"I thought I'd go to the park for a little exercise."
"No I don't want spare change. BACON! Read the sign."
"Well what's it going to be green pants? You gonna help me or just stand there dressed like a gay superhero?"
"No, the basket actually hurts worse."
"They told me I couldn't come in without a shirt. I showed them!"
"Ummmm hello? I know good and well I'm heavy enough to make the bell ring!"
"Well alright, you can take it, as long as you make it all instagramy."
"I said get me a 'snap back'! That's what the kids are wearing nowadays. I'm gonna look super old now!"
Have it your way, and her way is BOLD.
"Ugh...they forgot my spicy mustard? Now I have to go back in that line...some people need to get their act together."
"Get back here bitch!"
So ninjas do retire to Florida.
"You guys are open that late?! Hot diggity. I'm coming back later!"
Each day we look under every Internet rock to find the funniest photos you will see today. From funny cats to funny babies to drunk giraffes, here's today's collection of the best photos the world wide web has to offer.
I have no idea what this is supposed to be, but I don't think I will ever get tired of staring at it.
Bad news for Batman.
Whoa, take it easy, Canada. Let's not say anything we'd regret.
This is a cat with a funny face. That is all.
Usually if you let it out slowly, it's all good.
But honestly, this is just good information to have in case you've got a bunch of dirty dishes and a blindfolded 10-year-old.
That's the face I would make if I had to watch that, too.
Best. Typo. Ever.
And you know what? It would be worth it.
Oh sweet, I've been needing a new pair of Uumas.
Frank just can't hold his liquor.
It's crazy how different someone looks when they take off their glasses. For instance, sometimes girls look like a pizza.
Yes, this is an inflatable toupee.
At least you're not a loser who works at McDonalds...Oh, sorry.
You need a big office to get away with the Febreze bomb prank.
This is funny every single time.
I'm pretty sure everyone I know (except my grandmother) would lose the phone stacking game.
First you take a right, and then you take a left.
People travel for a variety of reasons, but few would ever say a swimming pool is one of them. That may be changing. Some pools are becoming tourist attractions in their own right, and you'll see why. Located near gorgeous geography in high-end hotels, pools imbue the spirit with serenity, or set the stage for a night of partying. Here is our top 10 list of amazing hotel pools. But be warned: a few laps will cost you.
No. 10 - Park Hyatt Tokyo
OK, so the pool itself doesn't look that special. Fair enough. But when you consider it's located on the 47th floor in a city with over 8 million people, that's one helluva view with a lot of sparkly lights at night. During the day, you may even catch a glimpse of Mount Fuji.
No. 9 - San Alfonso del Mar, in Algarrobo, Chile
You might be asking yourself, "Where's the pool? I only see beaches and water." That, my friend, is the pool, a massive saltwater pool that measures 2/3 of a mile in length and holds as much water as 6,000 normal pools. Guinness World Records calls it the largest in the world, and in it you can enjoy sailing, paddling or just chilling.
No. 8 - Hugh Hefner's Sky Villa, The Palms, Las Vegas
At a cost of around $40,000 a night, you too can party in a suite once used by Kanye West, with a full bar, 24-hour butler, and a cantilevered Playboy pool with a panoramic view of the Vegas Strip.
No. 7 - Hotel Caruso Belvedere
Found at the highest point of Ravello, a town off the Amalfi Coast, swimming in this infinity pool will give you awesome views of the coast. Molto bene!
No. 6 - Viceroy Miami
Unlike other pools that are built for serenity, this pool is built for partying. At nearly 205 feet, it's the longest pool in Florida and has three areas: a wading pool, a football field size swimming pool and an 80-person hot tub. Now that's a party.
No. 5 - Golden Nugget, Las Vegas
With all the other attractions and diversions, a pool in Vegas has got to be pretty special to make a splash. Well, the Golden Nugget's $30 million pool complex delivers. Along with what is customary (waterfalls, bar, Jacuzzi), it also includes a 200,000-gallon shark tank with 16 of the creatures, a 3-story waterslide and private cabanas. The waterslide has an extra thrill, too - you actually slide through the shark tank.
No. 4 - Ubud Hanging Gardens Resort, Bali
Sometimes a picture doesn't do justice. Set among a land of forests in the heart of Bali, the infinity pools are perched on a gorge, with curves said to copy the shape of the nearby hills. An ancient temple is located on the opposite hillside. Zen, defined.
No. 3 - Atlantis Resort in Paradise Island, Bahamas
Bahamas? Check. Lots of slides (including a sheer drop called Leap of Faith, and Challenger slides where you can race a friend)? Check. Giant pool? Check. A Serpent Slide where you swim through a shark tank? Check. What are you waiting for?
No. 2 - Perivolas Luxury Hotel
Located in Santorini Island, Greece, the famous infinity pool has been on 12 magazine covers. One word: breathtaking.
No. 1 - The SkyPark at the Marina Bay Sands, Singapore
Located in Singapore, the SkyPark opened in 2011 and is perched atop 3 towers. The pool is 650 feet in the air and three times the length of an Olympic pool, and is the largest outdoor pool in the world at that height. Apparently, there are "movement joints" beneath the main pools, designed to help them withstand the natural motion of the towers. Considering it's a five-star hotel, prices aren't cheap, but just look at that awesomeness. Worth it!
According to a 2007 study by marketing industry trade publication Media Matters, the average adult is exposed to some 600 advertisements each day, most of which we barely even notice or remember except possibly on a subconscious level. Ad execs and PR people are keenly aware of this situation, and to prevent their product from falling into the memory hole alongside four or five hundred reminders that Coke exists and is delicious, they sometimes make use of audacious or outrageous marketing campaigns ranging from risqué "banned" TV commercials to acts so weird and crazy that police and SWAT teams get involved. Sometimes these publicity stunts pay off handsomely and sometimes they crash and burn so badly that no amount of free publicity and notoriety can clean up their mess. Either way, the results are often pretty entertaining, and with that in mind, let's take a look at some of the biggest hits and most spectacular failures in the history of publicity stunts.
TOYOTA IS SENDING A CRAZY ENGLISH GUY TO YOUR HOUSE
Renowned advertising firm Saatchi & Saatchi had a tough assignment in 2009: get men in their early twenties excited about the newest iteration of the Toyota Matrix, a blandly functional little car that was essentially the station-wagon version of a Corolla. Market research indicated that this demographic loved to "punk" their friends in the manner of subversive media genius Ashton Kutcher, so S&S formulated an ad gimmick that allowed you to "punk" someone you knew by subjecting them to a barrage of emails, IMs, texts, and phone calls from one of five fictional characters, none of whom you would particularly want to deal with on a regular basis, let alone invite into your house-and these bizarre people not only knew your name, but your home address, which they were making their way towards during a multi-state crime spree.
After five days of increasingly weird communications from this character, you'd receive an email with a link to the newest Toyota Matrix commercial with the implied message "don't worry, some random maniac wasn't actually planning to eventually break into your house."
This disclaimer arrived too late for presumable Toyota customer and possible Toyota victim Amber Duick, who was unknowingly entered into this contest and "won" a series of creepy messages from fictional British soccer hooligan "Sebastian Bowler" detailing how he and his pitbull Trigger (who "don't throw up much anymore, but put some newspaper down in case") were making their way to her home while evading the police. Toyota went as far to create Myspace pages for "Sebastian" and his metal band while sending emails to Duick from the manager of the hotel that the fake Briton had trashed.
For whatever weird reason, Duick didn't think that the realistic-seeming story of an unbalanced stranger seeking shelter from the police in her house was as funny as Saatchi & Saatchi thought it would be. She ended up suing Toyota for ten million dollars, a lawsuit that has already cleared the arbitration hurdle (while Duick clicked an "OK" button on an online terms of agreement page, nothing in the agreement mentioned that she would be harassed by a random soccer fanatic over the course of a week) and is now determining how much of a punishment fine is appropriate. None of this would appear to have helped sell more Toyota Matrixes ("Matrices?") so on the whole this would seem to have been a bad idea.
TACO BELL IS BUYING THE LIBERTY BELL
In April of 1996, the American debt crisis was front-page news in many papers, in part because of the brief government shutdown of five months earlier. While Congressional budget disagreements aren't usually the sort of thing that catches peoples' attention, advertising firm Paine & Associates saw a unique opportunity to grab a lot of free exposure for their client Taco Bell.
The April 1st issue of the New York Times featured a full-page advertisement from the stoner's restaurant of choice claiming that Taco Bell would buy the famous Liberty Bell as a way to help pay off the country's debt, and a press release on the same day compared the purchase to corporate sponsors of highways while also mentioning that the famous bell would now split its time between its Philadelphia home and Taco Bell's Irvine, CA headquarters.
Thousands of people who hadn't been paying attention to the day's date called in to both Taco Bell and the National Park Service to express their concerns regarding a fundamental symbol of American independence being bought out by a pretend-Mexican seller of stale tacos filled with vaguely meatlike material, which Taco Bell responded to with a second press release essentially stating "Ha ha ha, April Fools, suckers!"
The restaurant reported a sales spike of some $500,000 on the day of the prank and another $600,000 the day afterward, more than compensating for Paine & Associates' bill-especially considering that most sources estimated that the free publicity generated by the campaign would've cost more than 25 million dollars to achieve with a conventional ad campaign. Taco Bell also donated $50,000 to the upkeep of the Liberty Bell, and the White House indulged in a rare joke by claiming that Ford Motor Company had purchased the Lincoln Memorial, which would subsequently be officially referred to as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial.
THE MILLION-DOLLAR SACK OF GARBAGE
Hey film fans, how do you feel about going to see a clumsy rehash of "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World" produced half by infamous Italian schlock merchant Dino DeLaurentiis and half by trash-bag company Glad, where the most famous or even recognizable actor is the dad from Happy Days? Not really lining up at the box office, are you?
Well, here's something to consider: if you had the inhuman patience to sit through all 95 minutes of this crap, you might be able to collect all the clues as to where in the United States a Glad bag full of one million dollars cash might be hidden. So in the end, you could make a pretty good return on your investment of a $3 ticket and a $6 Coke.
The gimmick was tied into the plot of the film, where disgruntled government employee Tom Bosley (at the time, spokesman for Glad's TV commercials) ran off with a million dollars stuffed in a certain brand of plastic garbage bag, but died without revealing the bag's location.
At the end of the film, the completely forgettable set of gag characters had yet to find the big bag o'cash, and the audience was invited to mail in their guesses as to where it was-while repeatedly being reminded that the bag wasn't "really" there, so that nobody would go try and dig it up. The first correct answer would win a cool mil, deducted from the film's gross profits.
Unfortunately for DeLaurentiis, Glad, and the eventual winner of the contest (who correctly guessed that the cash was stuffed up the Statue of Liberty's nose), the film was so completely joyless and boring that it never actually grossed more than $989,000.
Besides making zero profit for its backers and creating almost no positive visibility for Glad, the film was also responsible for the tragic accidental death of renowned stuntman Dar Robinson [maybe link to stuntman article here]. Aside from the winner (who again, didn't even get the promised million), everyone in the world would've been better off had this movie never been made.
"TORCHES OF FREEDOM"
While the public relations industry is generally considered to have started in 1906 with the release of the world's first press release (concerning the Atlantic City train wreck), PR was only a minor part of advertising and marketing in general until a man named Edward Bernays came on the scene. A nephew and student of Sigmund Freud, Bernays worked for the American government during WWI, where he was struck by the immense impact military propaganda campaigns had on the people of Europe both before and after the war, and pondered the possibility of applying the same techniques during peacetime-both to encourage good citizenship and to effectively sell a product.
After leaving Woodrow Wilson's administration, he set himself up as a freelance PR man in New York, where he used his knowledge of Freudian analysis and crowd psychology to aid clients as diverse as Dodge Motors, General Electric, and the government's own fluoridation campaign.
Bernays' most famous PR accomplishment, however-the campaign that lead many to designate him "the father of modern public relations"-was his work for the American Tobacco Company and their flagship brand, Lucky Strikes. During the twenties, it was considered indecent (and in some places even an arrestable offense) for women to smoke cigarettes in public, leading many flappers and early feminists to light up on the street as an act of civil disobedience.
While a few cigarette companies were tentatively advertising to women, Bernays encouraged ATC to commit to the growing women's movement to an unprecedented extent, capping the openly political ad campaign with a stunt where he recruited carefully-selected female smokers (in Bernays' words, "while they should be good looking, they should not look too model-y") to take prominent places in New York's Easter Sunday Parade, smoking their so-called "Torches of Freedom." Carefully seeded press releases, magnified by the support of NYC feminists, resulted in an enormous amount of free publicity for Lucky Strikes.
"EVERYBODY GETS A CAR!"
Everyone remembers Oprah's 2004 season premiere, even people who didn't actually see the episode or any Oprah episode at all. During a promotion where she gave free cars to eleven families in need, Oprah sprung a fun surprise on her audience: after hearing the stories of the eleven families, each member of the audience was told a gift box was under their seat, and one of the boxes contained the keys to a twelfth free car.
As the audience rummaged through their boxes, sudden shouts and commotions revealed Oprah's second, better surprise: EVERY box had keys to a new car. "EVERYBODY GETS A CAR! EVERYBODY GETS A CAR! EVERYBODY GETS A CAR!" Oprah screamed while bouncing frenetically across the stage, and everybody did indeed get a car. The question was, what kind of car?
It turned out to be a 2005 Pontiac G6, a mildly fancy sedan retailing for around $28,000, donated by General Motors in the hopes that the free exposure would revitalize the long-stagnant Pontiac brand. Unfortunately Oprah never bothered to mention the word Pontiac during the most viral part of the broadcast, and the G6's minimalist and unremarkable styling (think of a Chevy Impala with a little piggy snout, which is more or less what the G6 was) left it completely anonymous on camera. After five more years of increasingly dismal sales, Pontiac, along with Saab, Saturn, and Hummer.
FREE GAS AND LOOSE SLOTS
Online "casinos" and similar gambling websites are under an astonishing number of regulations concerning how and where they can advertise their existence-nearly all forms of traditional media are off limits to them, as the debate continues over the very legality of online gambling itself. For these companies, practically the only marketing vector they have are PR stunts where they do something that guarantees that news outlets at least have to mention their name.
If you're suddenly thinking to yourself, "wait, wasn't there some company that paid someone to get a tattoo of their logo?" then that means the aggressive PR campaign of GoldenPalace.com paid off-at least a little bit. GoldenPalace.com, one of the first online casinos, pioneered the stunt campaign with temporary tattoos on the backs of boxers and UFC fighters, eventually ramping up to sponsoring competitive eating competitions, purchasing items at bizarre auctions (their $28,000 purchase for a grilled cheese sandwich bearing an image of the Virgin Mary got their name in many news articles), paying streakers to disrupt sporting events, and even buying the rights to officially name a newly-discovered species of monkey Callicebus aureipalatii or "The Golden Palace Monkey."
Lately, however, it seems like GoldenPalace.com has overexposed itself, and their stunts had increasingly diminishing returns after their 2005 tattooing of some poor schmucks' forehead.
CasinoShare.com/PokerShare.com learned from the mistakes of that earlier campaign when they offered $40 worth of free gasoline to the citizens of New York on the Friday just before Memorial Day Weekend. While the buzzkill NYPD shut the stunt down before the morning rush was even over, citing congested streets and possible riots, the company managed to distribute 8000 gallons of gas (some to NYPD officers) and make national headlines. While the stunt was risky and controversial, the enormous amount of free media coverage was more than worth the cost.
BALLOONACY
Everyone knows that bizarre and headline-grabbing behavior is so common (and encouraged) on reality TV shows, but was it possible to be so weird and crazy in public that you get offered a TV series because of it? Handyman, failed actor, storm chaser, and "amateur scientist" Richard Heene gambled everything on that idea-and lost.
Heene and his wife Mayumi Iizuka first came to public attention during their two appearances on ABC's Wife Swap, becoming fan favorites despite (or because of) Heene's publicly stated belief that humanity was descended from space aliens. Off the set, the couple lobbied for their unproduced reality-show pilot The Science Detectives (another vehicle for Richard's alien obsession) but were judged less interesting or insane than, say, Honey Boo-Boo.
Heene then decided to use his handyman/storm chaser/pretend scientist credentials to build a saucer-shaped "weather balloon" of enough size and lifting capability to transport, say, their youngest son Falcon, and if the balloon was to drift off with Falcon nowhere to be seen, one might assume that HOLY CRAP OUR BOY HAS BALLOONED AWAY. Such a strange situation might possibly be picked up by the national news!
After the five-hour crisis where Colorado National Guard helicopters tracked the supposedly boy-transporting balloon across the state (fruitlessly, since Falcon was hiding in the garage the whole time), the Heene family found themselves in the national spotlight like never before, free to talk up their kooky science-detective lifestyle and entertainingly zany belief in Reptoids. Lifetime was getting ready to air the Wife Swap reruns, and the producer of Wife Swap was already preparing a show focused on the Heenes.
Unfortunately for Richard and Mayumi, Falcon hadn't inherited their talent for lying, and when Larry King asked him why he didn't leave the garage, the bewildered child said to his parents "You guys said that, um, we did this for the show." It just got worse the following morning, when the poor kid threw up during interviews on Today and Good Morning America when he or his father were asked about the Larry King incident. The Larimer County Sheriff's department immediately began further investigations, requesting search warrants and expert consultation as to whether such a balloon could ever plausibly lift a fifty-pound child.
Three days later, the couple surrendered to the police on the condition that they weren't handcuffed in front of the media or their kids (the first evidence Richard and Mayumi actually gave a damn about them) where they received relatively light sentences and fines, considering that the cost of the rescue operation may have reached into the millions. Incredibly, Heene is still chasing fame via YouTube documentaries and the auction of the famous balloon.
ENJOY THE TOUR DE FRANCE? WHY NOT BUY THIS NEWSPAPER?
While today the Tour de France is a major marketing event for bicycles, athletics clothing, sports drinks, and medically undetectable performance enhancers, it was originally launched as a way to publicize a failing newspaper. A renegade group of editors and reporters from France's premier sports newspaper Le' Velo ("The Bicycle") disagreed with the chief editor's stance on the ethnically-charged Dreyfus Affair (not actually related to sports or bicycling in any way), breaking off to form L'Auto ("The Car") that would cover the same issues as "The Bicycle" but without the pro-Dreyfus and presumably pro-Jew stance.
Despite being a fair and balanced approach to French sporting and political news, "The Car" failed to keep pace with "The Bicycle" and in danger of breaking down entirely when junior cycling journalist Geo Lefevre suggested a promotional bicycle race. This was nothing new-"The Bicycle" had famously expanded its market with several popular races-but Lefevre upped the ante by proposing the absolute longest bicycle race in the history of the damn world. The financial director of the paper literally handed Lefevre the keys to the company safe, telling him "Take whatever you need."
The first Tour de France, held in 1903 and covering over 1500 grueling miles, came close to not happening-the daunting length and high entry fees scared off many likely participants until the costs were lowered-but during and after the race, L'Auto was selling six times as many papers as before, while Le' Velo (naturally barred from covering the event) found itself bled white from losses of subscriptions and advertisers.
A year later, Le' Velo surrendered and allowed itself to be folded into its former rival's operations. Today, "The Car" remains France's dominant sports newspaper under its new name L'Equipe, or "The Team."
A LITERAL TRAIN WRECK
While the "Torches of Freedom" Easter Sunday Parade is popularly regarded as America's first PR stunt, it might be more honest to refer to it as America's first successful PR stunt. In 1896, several years before the public relations industry is generally agreed upon to have begun, William George Crush of the Missouri-Kansas-Texas Railroad hit upon what he thought was a can't-miss scheme to make the "Katy" the most famous railroad in the region: stage a crash between two full-size locomotives, charge nothing to get in, and offer cheap train tickets to people wanting to ride the MKT to the event.
The makeshift city hosting the event (somewhat ironically named "Crush, Texas") briefly became the second largest in the state, as over forty thousand eager spectators came to watch two huge things smash the crap out of each other.
Parts of this plan-the free admission, the incentive for many to ride the Katy line for the first time-were extremely ahead of their time, but the safety and engineering aspects weren't as finely tuned as the marketing scheme.
After accelerating to a terrifying 45 mph, the crews of the two locomotives jumped clear and the train wreck ended up being even more spectacular than expected, as both boilers exploded, showering the crowd with hot chunks of steam engine that flew far beyond the originally planned safety boundary.
Three people were killed, several more badly injured, and Scott Joplin rather bizarrely decided to write a song about it, which included special instructions on how a ragtime band might accurately simulate a gigantic train wreck and subsequent explosion. William Crush was fired immediately, but a puzzling lack of bad press meant he was re-hired the next day, although the other executives at the Katy tended to take his advice with a grain of salt for the remainder of his career.
PASSING THE TORCH (TO HITLER)
Of the many classical and semi-sacred traditions surrounding the Olympic Games (e.g. steroid abuse, cheating scandals, and the occasional international diplomatic crisis, the Olympic Flame only came back into vogue fairly recently, being re-introduced at the 1928 Amsterdam Summer Olympics.
Primarily representing the theft of fire from the gods by Prometheus but also serving many other associated fire-based sacred purposes, the ancient Greeks maintained an enduring flame at the temple of Hera throughout the duration of the original Olympic Games. This was among many Olympic traditions that perished with the destruction of Olympia, but a late-twenties surge in interest in classical European history unearthed and revived the so-called "eternal flame."
For the '36 Olympics, influential German athlete Carl Diem (who had played a big part in bringing the Olympics to Berlin and keeping it there even after the rise of Nazism) came up with a way to tie the modern Games even closer to the ancient ones-transfer the fire from the ruins of the Temple of Hera to the stadium of the host city, symbolically uniting lost and destroyed Olympia with wherever was taking part in the Games that year.
His higher-ups in the Party (who had previously been suspicious of Diem due to his Jewish ancestry) thought the idea brilliant, and (in)famous Nazi film director Leni Riefenstahl incorporated both real and staged scenes of the torch relay into her groundbreaking documentary Olympia. The torches themselves were designed and built by the gigantic metallurgy/arms conglomerate Krupp, and on their route to Berlin passed through nations that would soon become German possessions or puppet states within the next five or six years, but the imagery was so striking that the first post-war Olympiad (1948, in London, sadly not featuring the Spice Girls) revived the tradition. While there've been several attempts to steal or snuff the torch for political reasons (most famously the sustained campaign against the torch as it made its way to Beijing in 2008) they've all had to do with the politics of the host country, rather than the heritage of the torch itself.