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Evaluating the United States Based on Porn Search Trends


30 Terrible Face Tattoos That Guarantee a Life of Unemployment

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Nothing says "I didn't really think this through" like a face tattoo. We've all made mistakes when we were younger, but nothing (outside a prison sentence) can have more of a long-term effect than the decision to get something - anything - tattooed to your face. There's honestly nothing you can tattoo to your face that doesn't guarantee you a lifetime of hearing, "Thank you for your application, but we don't currently have any openings right now."

Why someone would think that a face tattoo would be a good idea is kind of hard to fathom. One would assume that the majority of these people would have to be drunk to get something tattooed to their face, but aren't there some sort of laws against giving wasted people tattoos anywhere on their body, let alone their face? And if there aren't any laws, should there be? Well stop worrying about these idiots and start laughing at them. Here are 30 terrible face tattoos that will guarantee each one of these folks a life of unemployment.

worst face tattoos stupid
worst face tattoos fleur de lysworst face tattoosworst face tattoosworst face tattoosworst face tattoosworst face tattoos creepy eye skullworst face tattoos tampa bay buccaneers idiotworst face tattoos fuck you eyebrowsworst face tattoos florida mapworst face tattoos family tradition lip tattooworst face tattoos monster greenworst face tattoos drunk crazyworst face tattoos old man sweet sourworst face tattoos alienworst face tattoos fail artworst face tattoos wsop cards on full houseworst face tattoos racistworst face tattoos high on drugs womanworst face tattoos teddy boyworst face tattoos hot girl drake foreheadworst face tattoos ted beforeworst face tattoos skinheadworst face tattoos hippy hippie chickworst face tattoos mexican guy east side on lipsworst face tattoos black guy free lil boosieworst face tattoos prison tattoo girl mug shotworst face tattoos stars on face girlworst face tattoos covered faceworst face tattoos psycho on forehead mug shot

Also check out some very terrible celebrity tattoos. There are even a few face tattoos there, but we figured since they already had jobs they didn't belong in this picture set of people with terrible face tattoos.

 

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'Game of Thrones' Characters Discuss Their Spring Break Plans on Facebook

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It's not all war and treason and hookers and beheadings in the "Game of Thrones" world. Sometimes the people of King's Landing and Winterfell need to take a break and relax. And what better way to hash out your spring break plans than on your brand-new MacBook Air?

*MINOR SPOILER ALERT*



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The Benefits of Being a Girl, According to Guys

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Guys think girls have it easy. Girls think guys have it easy. Basically everyone thinks everyone else who isn't them has it easy. But as this chart shows, none of us know what we are talking about.

 

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Today's Funny Photos

Mom Saves Son From Driver Crashing Through Window at Popeye's Chicken

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This terrifying surveillance video footage shows a van crashing through the side of a Popeye's Chicken in Orlando, Florida, in the middle of the day, putting several lives in danger. The crash left five people hurt, though none of the injuries were life-threatening.

That's pretty amazing considering the footage shows a mother and her 8-year-old son having to flee from their table directly in front of the window that the car smashed through. The driver was in the car with a suspended license and also accused of DUI with test results still pending.

Via WCSH Portland

 

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Arnold Schwarzenegger Puts on a Disguise to Prank Gym Members

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Arguably the most recognizable man in the world, Arnold Schwarzenegger slapped on a ridiculous wig and fake mustache to play a little prank on members of a Gold's Gym in Venice, Calif. How could anyone not realize that's him, you ask? Obviously, many people recognized the ex-governor of California was towering over them, but there were a few who seemed to have no clue. However, even when he was called out, Arnold stuck to his character and didn't give in. Now, that's a serious method actor.

The entire stunt was put on to raise money for a worthy cause. The video was released to increase awareness for a program called the After-School All-Stars which specializes in providing free after school tutoring and activities to students from low-income families. You can donate to the organization through Omaze and will even be entered in a contest to win a trip to LA to spend a day with Arnold himself. The big fella also happens to be matching whatever is donated.

 

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Suspect Captured After Posting Own Wanted Picture on Facebook

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We've all heard of somebody getting in trouble for posting an incriminating photo on Facebook that is usually the result of one too many silos of Pabst or an ill-advised placement of a penis straw you stole from a bachelorette party.

But a man in Freeland, Pennsylvania, has seen your stupid and raised you one.

anthony lescowitch, man posted own wanted photo Facebook

Freeland police say Anthony Lescowitch Jr. was arrested Monday shortly after sharing his own wanted photo on his Facebook page. Lescowitch was wanted for aggravated assault and other charges, and police were having the damnedest time locating him. Naturally, they turned to Facebook for help.

Within three minutes of posting a picture of the wanted 35-year-old on their page, several people began sharing it. Lo and behold, one of those people turned out to be Lescowitch himself.

An officer posed as a woman and reached out to Lescowitch, asking him about the photo and eventually asking him to meet "her" somewhere in town. Lescowitch obliged, and within 45 minutes, he was in handcuffs.

The good news for Lescowitch is that this won't be his first stint behind bars, so even if they take away his Facebook privileges while he's in the clink, he won't have much trouble making friends.

(via UPI)

People who are even dumber than this dipshit: The Dumbest Costumed Criminals of All Time

 

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'Gimme Shelter' Premieres Jan. 24 and Features Mandatory Model Candace Smith

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If you are one of the faithful Mandatory fans who receives our weekly newsletter, then you've probably seen the lovely Candace Smith wearing our T-shirts (to promote our awesome shop). Or perhaps you have seen one of her sexy exclusive photo shoots on our site. Either way, we're proud to inform you that starting tomorrow, our friend Candace can be seen on the big screen in the highly anticipated drama "Gimme Shelter."

"Gimme Shelter" is based on an inspiring true story, which centers on the courageous story of "Apple" Bailey (played by Vanessa Hudgens) on her incredible path to motherhood as a pregnant, homeless teenager after she is forced to flee her abusive mother (played by Rosario Dawson). In the depths of despair, she meets a compassionate stranger (played by James Earl Jones) who ultimately leads her to salvation and unprecedented support in a suburban shelter for homeless teenagers.

Until recently, Candace Smith was mostly known as an established model, comedic actress and Miss Ohio USA. She was last seen on the big screen opposite Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Pena as a distraught mother in David Ayer's film "End of Watch." In "Gimme Shelter," Candace plays Marie Abeanni, a social worker of African descent. Writer and director Ron Krauss speaks highly of Candace, stating, "She has a tremendous amount of drive, dedication and commitment as an actor to a character that gives you a transparent quality to blend in as the character. I noticed it in her work in 'End of Watch' and even more so as Marie Abeanni in 'Gimme Shelter.' Others will recognize this quality in her as well, as soon as they figure out it is Candace."

On working with Rosario Dawson and Vanessa Hudgens, Candace had this to say: "It was truly an honor to work with such accomplished actresses in a highly emotional and intense scene. To witness their transformation and how they immersed themselves into these characters was a once in a lifetime experience."

For more information, check out gimmeshelterthemovie.com and Candace Smith's official site.

 

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A Beginner's Guide to Fighting Games

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Worst Furniture Store Promotion Ever

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Well, unless some other store is offering 75 percent off any of their couches that were previously urinated on.
easiest nfl promotion ever houston furniture store
A Houston furniture store is out $600,000 thanks to what most people are referring to as "the easiest NFL promotion ever."

Gallery Furniture told customers who spent more than $5,000 on items they would be completely reimbursed if they correctly picked both winners of the NFL's conference championship games on Sunday. That's it. No point spread, no guess the score, no pick the player who will score the most touchdowns. Just correctly pick the winner of each game, and all of your furniture would be free.

Um, we'll take the favorites and everything you've got in the store. Thanks.

After 85 percent of his customers cashed in on their bet, store owner Jim "Mattress Mack" McIngvale told reporters, "On Sunday night, I had a 'me and my bright ideas' moment, but then I realized it was a great success because it made a lot of customers happy."

No word on how long Mrs. McIngvale plans on having him sleep on the couch.

(via Fox Sports)

Get your gamble on: The Biggest Super Bowl Bets Ever

 

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Current NBA Stars If They Played in the ABA

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If you've been following sports business news lately, you may have heard about the NBA trying to buy their way out (to the tune of $500 million) of the terrible deal they signed with two former ABA team owners in 1976 when the NBA merged with the ABA. This news was enough to get our minds wandering and eventually wondering: What would today's NBA stars look like if they played in the old ABA days?

LeBron James
lebron james, lebron james ABA, lebron james afro

Kevin Durant
kevin durant, kevin durant ABA, kevin durant mustache

Kevin Love
kevin love, kevin love ABA, kevin love afro

Carmelo Anthony
carmelo anthony, carmelo anthony ABA, carmelo anthony short shorts

Paul George
paul george, paul george ABA, paul george afro

Kyrie Irving
kyrie irving, kyrie irving ABA, kyrie irving mustache

Paul Pierce
paul pierce, paul pierce ABA, paul pierce afro

Dirk Nowitzki
dirk nowitzki, dirk nowitzki ABA, dirk nowitzki short shorts

James Harden
james harden, james harden ABA, james harden goatee sideburns

Blake Griffin
blake griffin, blake griffin ABA, blake griffin short shorts
Design by Chris Kim

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More Fun With Pro Athletes: Today's NFL Quarterbacks If They Were Bald

 

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