Today's Funniest Photos
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90 German Cows Start Fire By Farting
Sadly, there is no YouTube clip available of what we're calling "the funniest damn thing we've heard in 2014."
According to Reuters, German police have confirmed that a farm shed in Rasdorf, Germany exploded yesterday, leaving one hole in the roof and one cow being treated for burns. And apparently, the cow has nobody to blame b![cow farts barn explosion, cows in field]()
ut himself and his comrades:
High levels of the gas had built up in the structure, then "a static electric charge caused the gas to explode with flashes of flames."
The gas? One hundred percent all natural methane courtesy of 90 cow farts.
Police couldn't confirm whether or not the injured cow was the first one to rip ass, nor was it clear just what in the hell they ate.
According to a report last year in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science, cows in the United States were contributing to global warming by spewing twice the methane that scientists had previously thought, with the majority of it coming from burping, manure, and blowing mud.
But are cow farts really the main culprit of global warming? Probably not. Are they hysterical when they start a German barn on fire? You bet your ass biscuits they are.
(via Reuters)
Almost as funny as cow farts: Car Crashes Into Cow Being Mounted By Other Cow
According to Reuters, German police have confirmed that a farm shed in Rasdorf, Germany exploded yesterday, leaving one hole in the roof and one cow being treated for burns. And apparently, the cow has nobody to blame b
ut himself and his comrades:High levels of the gas had built up in the structure, then "a static electric charge caused the gas to explode with flashes of flames."
The gas? One hundred percent all natural methane courtesy of 90 cow farts.
Police couldn't confirm whether or not the injured cow was the first one to rip ass, nor was it clear just what in the hell they ate.
According to a report last year in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science, cows in the United States were contributing to global warming by spewing twice the methane that scientists had previously thought, with the majority of it coming from burping, manure, and blowing mud.
But are cow farts really the main culprit of global warming? Probably not. Are they hysterical when they start a German barn on fire? You bet your ass biscuits they are.
(via Reuters)
Almost as funny as cow farts: Car Crashes Into Cow Being Mounted By Other Cow
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If Company Slogans Were Honest
Corporate logos tell a different story than the customer experience. So the good people over at Honest Slogans have tweaked some very well-known corporate logos and slogans to show you what these companies are really known for. Here's a big batch of some of our favorites, but check out their site to see even more. (H/T to Reddit)
via Honest Slogans
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Weather Reporter Jim Cantore Knees College Doofus in Groin
Do not mess with Jim Cantore. Especially if you're some doofus college kid who wants to mess with a reporter who's just trying to report on the snow storm that is hitting the south. Because if you do, you are liable to get a vicious weather-knee to the groin.
Nice work, Jim. Real nice work.
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Drunk Man Crashes Into Restaurant Then Gets Out and Masturbates
There in an appropriate course of action to take after you get into a car accident. First, you should get out and make sure everyone is okay. Then, you should move your vehicle to a safe place and out of traffic. Finally, you should call the police and notify your insurance. At no time during that process, however, is it acceptable to strip naked and play with yourself in public.
Evidently, a 34-year-old New Jersey man felt otherwise on Monday morning. After he crashed his car into a Crown Fried Chicken in North Philadelphia, he got out, disrobed, and proceeded to pleasure himself.
![man crashes car and masturbates, naked man in streeet]()
Reportedly, the man was only charged with a DUI, but after video evidence of him dancing naked in the street and rubbing himself makes the rounds, he could be in for worse. We'd be willing to bet he was under the influence of much more than alcohol, too.
Thankfully, nobody was injured in this fiasco, and damage to the chicken joint was minimal. So really, there is only one thing left to do, and that's watch the video (NSFW warning, via Phillymag.com)
Related: 25 Very Hilarious 'Naked Man' News Headlines
Evidently, a 34-year-old New Jersey man felt otherwise on Monday morning. After he crashed his car into a Crown Fried Chicken in North Philadelphia, he got out, disrobed, and proceeded to pleasure himself.
Reportedly, the man was only charged with a DUI, but after video evidence of him dancing naked in the street and rubbing himself makes the rounds, he could be in for worse. We'd be willing to bet he was under the influence of much more than alcohol, too.
Thankfully, nobody was injured in this fiasco, and damage to the chicken joint was minimal. So really, there is only one thing left to do, and that's watch the video (NSFW warning, via Phillymag.com)
Related: 25 Very Hilarious 'Naked Man' News Headlines
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11 Classic Car Photos From 11 Classic Films
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The "Am Sad" Meme is the Sexiest Cure for Depression
Being sad is a difficult way to go through life. Luckily, there are remedies for sadness that don't always involve a trip to the shrink, the pharmacy or the bar. We men are simple. If we're sad, you girls have the power to turn our frowns upside down. And all you have to do is strip down to your panties or lingerie and then give us a little selfie with just the right angle (actually, if you're wearing some sexy lingerie, any angle will probably do.) And then boom, your sexiness has cured us of our debilitating sadness.
It's up to you ladies. We hope you make the right decision. (Pssst, it's the sexy decision.)
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History's 10 Biggest Security Fails
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18 Very Funny Photos of Cats About to Sneeze
Last image via Shane Hannah from our Facebook page.
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via tumblr
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The 10 Worst Super Bowl Winning Quarterbacks
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A Glimpse at Eli Manning's Personal Facebook Page
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What I Want To Be When I Grow Up: Then & Now
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Today's Funny Photos
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The Last Pitch of the Last 25 MLB World Series
This is so awesome. You can watch how each of the last 25 World Series ended. Famous hitters like Joe Carter, Luis Gonzalez and Edgar Renteria pop up along side famous closers like Dennis Eckersley, Mariano Rivera and Jonathan Papelbon. Prepare to get goosebumps for five straight minutes. (As noted in the comments on the YouTube page, the maker of this video apologizes for not being able to get the proper footage for the 1995 Atlanta Braves and 2005 Chicago White Sox World Series victories.)
H/T Hot Clicks
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Amricans Really Love Their Hot Sauce [Graphic]
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When Reporters Swear Live On TV, We Laugh
Reporters have one job: read words and say them out loud. But sometimes, that seems harder than it should be when news anchors and reporters try to say one word and another one comes out (something usually along the lines of "cock" or "sex".)
But their fail is our win. Here's a rather awesome compilation of some of the funniest reporter fails ever.
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Legendary Musicians Wearing Shirts of the Bands They Influenced
We've all seen modern musicians pay tribute to the artists that inspired them in a variety of ways, including wearing t-shirts of those bands and artists. A recent project by a graphic designer, who goes by Butcher Billy, on Behance.net has taken this common tribute and flipped it around. Here are images of the legendary musicians who have shaped music wearing the t-shirts of the bands they influenced.
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JOHN LENNON - ARCTIC MONKEYS
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DAVID BOWIE - NIRVANA
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FREDDY MERCURY - LADY GAGA
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GIORGIO MORODER - DAFT PUNK
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JIM MORRISON - THE STROKES
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PAUL MCCARTNEY - ARCADE FIRE
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PINK FLOYD - RADIOHEAD
h/t 22 Words
JOHN LENNON - ARCTIC MONKEYS
DAVID BOWIE - NIRVANA
FREDDY MERCURY - LADY GAGA
GIORGIO MORODER - DAFT PUNK
JIM MORRISON - THE STROKES
PAUL MCCARTNEY - ARCADE FIRE
PINK FLOYD - RADIOHEAD
h/t 22 Words
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Anna Kendrick Reveals That Katy Perry Finger-Banged Her Cleavage
Anna Kendrick - who's quickly becoming one of our most favorite women on the planet - was on "Conan" last night and told some pretty interesting stories about her trip to the GRAMMYs on Sunday. She spoke about her obsession and shyness with Beyoncé, which led to Kendrick accidentally ignoring the music superstar. But what was really interesting was her run in with Katy Perry. In case you missed it, Kendrick's dress at the awards was quite pleasantly revealing:
After Kendrick finished telling her Beyoncé story, she very nonchalantly told Conan that Katy Perry finger-banged her cleavage. Conan's reaction to the comment is classic and he takes a few beats before he has to know more. You can watch Anna Kendrick tell the story herself in the video below, but basically she told Conan that with that dress, she was "kinda asking for it."
After Kendrick finished telling her Beyoncé story, she very nonchalantly told Conan that Katy Perry finger-banged her cleavage. Conan's reaction to the comment is classic and he takes a few beats before he has to know more. You can watch Anna Kendrick tell the story herself in the video below, but basically she told Conan that with that dress, she was "kinda asking for it."
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Run, Don't Waltz, to Check Out Jasmine Waltz
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Why Diamonds Aren't Forever: A Look Into the Scam of Engagement Rings
They say diamonds are a woman's best friend, but to men they're the devil. They say diamonds are forever, and yet the divorce rates in America have leveled off at an all-time high. With the romantic Valentine's Day weekend coming up, diamonds are no strangers to the wish lists of ladies any more than a new Xbox is to ours.
![Diamond Engagement In Heart Shaped Ring Box]()
Whether engagement, anniversary or just for the hell of it, those glittering devils put men literally between a rock and a hard place with one of America's most misinterpreted traditions: the diamond ring. But maybe diamonds aren't forever.
There are a great many things we assume as a culture, ideas that swirl around with little validity to them, and one such thing is the ancient engagement ritual of diamond rings. Since the 1930s, diamonds have become an increasing phenomenon in American culture without actually having any real legitimate connection to the emotions between two people. This tradition isn't actually that old, either, but instead was propagated by the wealthy businessmen of the largest diamond-distributing ring, De Beers, less than a century ago. Their campaign "diamonds are forever" in 1948 linked love, devotion and everlasting marriage - two out of three things that are rare today - to diamond rings in one of the most profitable marketing operations of all time, thinning men's wallets and giving women something to show off more than their supple, silicon pound puppies.
A lot is known by the people of the diamond industry, but little else by the rest of society, in terms of how abundant and overpriced these not-so-rare gems are. When you boil it down, diamonds are nothing more than a clever gift-giving invention made by suited men who saw an opening in the market for women's endless desire of shiny trinkets, like Valentine's Day on a kilo of blow.
For most guys, a diamond engagement ring is a necessary evil or a gesture of goodwill to support his lady, but the single expense of a diamond ring is growing with every decade as women's eyes get bigger and suddenly men are spending loot they never had. Today, the average yearly income for men between 25 and 34, the most common bracket for engagements, is somewhere around 45 to 50 thousand - with the 50k being toward the elder end of the spectrum - and although the average cost of a diamond ring is four to six grand, some guys are forced to overspend for fear of not having the biggest dick on the tree of marital ornaments.
People see love in proportion to the size of the diamond a guy buys his lady, as if a modest ring signifies less commitment than an 18-carat rock might. Or to look at it another way, like the love of a guy on a high school teacher's salary is less than that of a rich banker or professional athlete.
The only misconception bigger than diamonds measuring a man's intentions is diamonds equaling gold. They make awful investments, as the demand for diamonds never goes away but the resale value is diminished more than a car driven off the lot and brought back without its doors. Diamonds may seem like rare stones to prospective suckers, but since the early 20th century, diamond hoarders like De Beers create the illusion of demand while they actually sleep on a stack of stones at night, driving the cost way up. Then, in the![engaged couple, engaged asian couple]()
unfortunate occasion when the girl can't bring herself to say "yes" despite the kind gesture, a guy can only retrieve of a fraction of his money after only a few weeks have past since his splurge.
There's no other time in a man's life he'll spend as much money on something that is so purely superficial and superfluous. Any large purchase - a car, education or house - either has a purpose or is an investment that can generate money in the future, whereas diamond rings have price tags well above their worth, and fictional demand forces people to pay two to four times what they're worth. Hell, crack cocaine is a rock with more street value than a box of shiny rocks.
Oh, and don't forget about blood diamonds! That's a thing too. Leo wouldn't do a movie about it if those weren't real things. Blood diamonds are stones collected in war zones through the exploitation of vicious child labor in order to finance dirty wars, and the stones are later filtered into the clean diamond supply like a good old fashion money-laundering scheme. So if you're into carrying on traditions of man, there's another one to add to your list.
It's not all about money here; it's about placing value on something that has no real significance except to an overtly materialistic society that doesn't know any better. But we wouldn't bag on a long-held tradition - however senseless - without offering a healthy alternative. Instead of going to the jewelry store three times only to buy the ring you promised yourself you wouldn't and setting yourself back half a year's salary, why not find something that shows more thought than the same ring every man brings to the alter this century? Why not find an actual rare stone, a family heirloom or something that speaks volumes specifically to her personality, your relationship and the life you want together? Then take the money you save and travel together, put a down payment on a nicer house - something real - for yourselves and sleep soundly without the anxiety of a shiny devil she might lose down the drain.
If none of this makes sense to you and you're hell-bent to buy a diamond, why not have it be an unexpected surprise on your wedding day, knowing your wife said yes to you and not some shiny stone? Maybe if diamonds were placed somewhere unexpectedly later in the timeline, perhaps divorce rates will do more than just level off at abnormally high. Maybe then you'd be the little devil she wants.
Whether engagement, anniversary or just for the hell of it, those glittering devils put men literally between a rock and a hard place with one of America's most misinterpreted traditions: the diamond ring. But maybe diamonds aren't forever.
There are a great many things we assume as a culture, ideas that swirl around with little validity to them, and one such thing is the ancient engagement ritual of diamond rings. Since the 1930s, diamonds have become an increasing phenomenon in American culture without actually having any real legitimate connection to the emotions between two people. This tradition isn't actually that old, either, but instead was propagated by the wealthy businessmen of the largest diamond-distributing ring, De Beers, less than a century ago. Their campaign "diamonds are forever" in 1948 linked love, devotion and everlasting marriage - two out of three things that are rare today - to diamond rings in one of the most profitable marketing operations of all time, thinning men's wallets and giving women something to show off more than their supple, silicon pound puppies.
A lot is known by the people of the diamond industry, but little else by the rest of society, in terms of how abundant and overpriced these not-so-rare gems are. When you boil it down, diamonds are nothing more than a clever gift-giving invention made by suited men who saw an opening in the market for women's endless desire of shiny trinkets, like Valentine's Day on a kilo of blow.
For most guys, a diamond engagement ring is a necessary evil or a gesture of goodwill to support his lady, but the single expense of a diamond ring is growing with every decade as women's eyes get bigger and suddenly men are spending loot they never had. Today, the average yearly income for men between 25 and 34, the most common bracket for engagements, is somewhere around 45 to 50 thousand - with the 50k being toward the elder end of the spectrum - and although the average cost of a diamond ring is four to six grand, some guys are forced to overspend for fear of not having the biggest dick on the tree of marital ornaments.
People see love in proportion to the size of the diamond a guy buys his lady, as if a modest ring signifies less commitment than an 18-carat rock might. Or to look at it another way, like the love of a guy on a high school teacher's salary is less than that of a rich banker or professional athlete.
The only misconception bigger than diamonds measuring a man's intentions is diamonds equaling gold. They make awful investments, as the demand for diamonds never goes away but the resale value is diminished more than a car driven off the lot and brought back without its doors. Diamonds may seem like rare stones to prospective suckers, but since the early 20th century, diamond hoarders like De Beers create the illusion of demand while they actually sleep on a stack of stones at night, driving the cost way up. Then, in the
unfortunate occasion when the girl can't bring herself to say "yes" despite the kind gesture, a guy can only retrieve of a fraction of his money after only a few weeks have past since his splurge.There's no other time in a man's life he'll spend as much money on something that is so purely superficial and superfluous. Any large purchase - a car, education or house - either has a purpose or is an investment that can generate money in the future, whereas diamond rings have price tags well above their worth, and fictional demand forces people to pay two to four times what they're worth. Hell, crack cocaine is a rock with more street value than a box of shiny rocks.
Oh, and don't forget about blood diamonds! That's a thing too. Leo wouldn't do a movie about it if those weren't real things. Blood diamonds are stones collected in war zones through the exploitation of vicious child labor in order to finance dirty wars, and the stones are later filtered into the clean diamond supply like a good old fashion money-laundering scheme. So if you're into carrying on traditions of man, there's another one to add to your list.
It's not all about money here; it's about placing value on something that has no real significance except to an overtly materialistic society that doesn't know any better. But we wouldn't bag on a long-held tradition - however senseless - without offering a healthy alternative. Instead of going to the jewelry store three times only to buy the ring you promised yourself you wouldn't and setting yourself back half a year's salary, why not find something that shows more thought than the same ring every man brings to the alter this century? Why not find an actual rare stone, a family heirloom or something that speaks volumes specifically to her personality, your relationship and the life you want together? Then take the money you save and travel together, put a down payment on a nicer house - something real - for yourselves and sleep soundly without the anxiety of a shiny devil she might lose down the drain.
If none of this makes sense to you and you're hell-bent to buy a diamond, why not have it be an unexpected surprise on your wedding day, knowing your wife said yes to you and not some shiny stone? Maybe if diamonds were placed somewhere unexpectedly later in the timeline, perhaps divorce rates will do more than just level off at abnormally high. Maybe then you'd be the little devil she wants.
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