The debate rages on today and will continue to for eternity, what is the greatest Rocky sequel? Rocky V was a train wreck while Rocky Balboa (the sixth installment of the franchise) made a valiant effort but was undone by its ridiculous premise that a man in his late fifties could go-toe-to toe with the heavyweight champion of the world. That leaves II, III, and IV as the contenders for the best sequel. It must be mentioned that all three also happen to be written and directed by Sylvester "Sly" Stallone. Sly may not be Scorsese but the man knows what audiences want and how to give it to them. While II, III, and IV all have strong cases for the greatest Rocky sequel, Rocky III which turned 30 this year - and is currently available on blu-ray - gets the nod for the following reasons.
An Opening Montage with No Equals
Rocky III begins with the ubiquitous Rocky theme "Gonna Fly Now" and flashes back to Rocky's last second victory over Apollo Creed in Rocky II. Freezing on a still shot of the Italian Stallion's bruised and bloodied face the song "Eye of the Tiger" starts in quietly then crescendos to fireworks exploding into a giant illuminated Rocky sign. The full guitar kicks in and we are off and running into the greatest eighties montage in the history of eighties montages. We see Rocky's several successful title defenses with some classic Rocky grunting mixed-in as he pummels his opponents.
Running nearly four minutes the montage not only shows Rocky's growing success it also sets up his future conflicts. We see his brother in-law Paulie drinking angrily with every mounting Rocky victory while his soon to be rival Clubber Lang watches bitterly. Did we mention that "Eye of the Tiger" is playing the whole time? The montage shifts to Rocky's growing fame and wealth. Magazine covers flash-in including People, Newsweek, along with appearances in an American Express commercials and The Muppet Show (hallmarks of eighties fame and success).
The montage rolls on with Clubber training in squalor and racking up victories while Rocky is getting more and more consumed with the trappings of fame. We're only about five minutes in and the story has been brilliantly laid out, but more importantly the audience is worked into a frenzy and fully onboard the Rocky train.
Rocky vs. The Hulkster
In 1982 professional wrestling was reaching new heights of popularity and Sly shrewdly capitalized on this by including a charity fight scene between Rocky and Thunderlips, a wrestler played by a young Hulk Hogan. While this sequence does very little to move the story forward it might be the most entertaining scene in the entire franchise.
Thunderlips enters the ring wanting to prove that wrestlers are superior to boxers and pummels Rocky with a series of wrestling moves eventually picking him up over his head and hurling him out of the ring. Beaten but not defeated, Rocky gets his revenge by choking out Thunderlips and giving him a taste of his own medicine by miraculously picking him up and tossing his 300 lb plus frame out of the ring. Rocky once again proves that he can take all comers and the audience gets an incredible bonus fight scene.
Clubber is the Real Man
Up to this point in the movie, Clubber Lang played by eighties icon Mr. T, has been basically stalking Rocky even attending the aforementioned bout with Thunderlips inexplicably wearing a tuxedo. This time Clubber shows up at Rocky's statue dedication ceremony demanding a shot at the champ. With the help his manager Mickey, Rocky doesn't initially take the bait but when Clubber goes after his wife Adrian asking her if she wants to come to his apartment and see what a "real man" is like Rocky goes ballistic. Rocky and Clubber are restrained before they can start pummeling each other but the match is set and everyone can't wait to see Clubber get exactly what he deserves.
Rocky Actually Loses...No Really, He Does
While Rocky takes his share of beatings in II and IV he managed to come back and win each fight, however in Rocky III he loses convincingly to Clubber in their first bout, getting knocked out in the second round. While no one wants to see the Italian Stallion fail this loss raises the stakes for his rematch with Clubber. By the time the second fight begins the audience wants to see Clubber unconscious on the canvas like never before.
The Death of Mickey
After the first bout with Clubber, Rocky's faithful and tough talking trainer Mickey dies of a heart attack. A mainstay of the first two movies, this is the man responsible for molding Rocky into a champion not to mention his de facto father figure. Mickey dying is arguably one the most emotional moments in all the Rocky movies and the audience is left wondering how Rocky will ever recover.
Apollo to the Rescue
For the first two Rocky movies Apollo is the villain we love to hate, but in Rocky III we see a different side of him when he becomes Rocky's trainer and trusted friend. Apollo has his own motives for helping Rocky, including wanting to see Clubber get what he deserves after getting insulted by him. He also wants an unspecified favor from Rocky which is revealed at the end of the movie. The Rocky and Apollo alliance doesn't start smoothly but eventually they become best friends, something thought to be impossible in the first two movies. Establishing the friendship with Apollo also sets up Rocky's motive for revenge in Rocky IV when Apollo dies in the ring at the hands of an unremorseful Ivan Drago.
The Training Montage with a Twist
A Rocky movie is not a Rocky movie without its training montage set to "Gonna Fly Now," however III puts a unique twist on the training montage by making the audience think its about to begin and then pulling back. Rocky goes with Apollo to train in his home town of Los Angeles. Apollo tells Rocky that he can't out punch Clubber so he needs to get leaner and faster. Rocky struggles with Apollo's training regimen and gives up during their wind sprints on the beach. Rocky doesn't know if he wants to fight and is poised to quit but enter Adrian who gives him a pep talk and convinces him to continue on. "Gonna Fly Now" starts up and now after being teased the audience gets their training montage. The montage ends with Rocky finally outrunning Apollo on the beach and both of them celebrating as BFFs.
Rocky Goes Back to Being Rocky
The rematch with Clubber gets underway and Rocky uses his new found speed and agility to dominate the first round, however in the second round Clubber adapts and starts winning the fight. Rocky then changes strategy going back to the street brawler we know and love. His strategy is simple, let Clubber beat on him until he tires out. Rocky keeps taking the punishment telling Clubber, "You ain't so bad." As Clubber starts to wear down Rocky makes his move and in the third round sends Clubber to the canvas with a flurry of punches. Rocky is champ once again and all is right with the world.
The Favor is Cashed In
The vague favor that Apollo mentions during their training is finally paid off. Dressed in their boxing gear, Rocky and Apollo walk into an empty gym. Apollo still thinks he's better than Rocky and the two friends are going to find out in private. The movie ends on a freeze frame of them both about to land a punch. People have broken down this freeze frame arguing that Rocky's punch looks like it was going to land with more force but in the end we are only left to speculate who won.
It's the Eye of the Tiger
"Eye of the Tiger" was written specifically for the movie after Stallone couldn't secure the rights to Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust." He liked some tracks from Survivor's first album, asked them to write a song for the movie and the rest is history. "Eye of the Tiger" gave Rocky III its own distinct musical identity and rose to number one on the charts. The song has transcended both the movie and the decade and for better or worse is a mainstay at sporting events throughout the country.
Enjoy Rocky III during it's 30th anniversary on blu-ray today.
Take a deep breath. Smell that? It's the sweet scent of pumpkin spiced everything, failed football bets and the foreshadowing of ensuing holidays where family will divide into two separate sides of the room and bicker about why their guy didn't make it into the White House. With fall underway, let's take a look at some expected highlights, sad farewells and a couple little known facts about the month ahead with the 10 best things about October.
No 10 - Autumn's Arrival
The most obvious change brought about by October is the change in the weather, turning our plush green backdrops into earthy-toned autumn spectacles. Although autumn technically begins in late September, it seems that not until October that Mother Nature truly embraces the season with a few light drizzles and colorful wardrobe changes before she strips her branches naked in time for a good wintery blizzard.
Despite the sun going down a bit earlier, it's the perfect excuse to bust out those long johns with the holes in the crotch, toss some "Harvest Moon" on the record player and hit up as many chili cook-offs as possible, each done separately of course. Spend a nice day at the local apple orchard, sucking down cider and countless candy apples. Remember, everything has to die off so that it can be reborn again in the spring, so go nuts with the cavities.
No. 9 - Football Season In Full Swing
We stand corrected. The most obvious change brought about by October is that everyone has complete football madness. Whether you're the guy with three separate fantasy leagues and very little time for his actual life or job, a (overly used term) "fantasy widow," or if you're that blind substitute teacher hired as a replacement referee, football is here for the next few months to both ruin and enhance your life.
Expect October to leave a mound of nacho remnants under the coffee table, a pile of beer cans at the back door and some shirtless guy you've never met sleeping on your couch through Monday morning. Yes, these are the days we live for.
Work becomes less about promotions and getting ahead in life and more about gaining a few pounds and getting just the right guys on your imaginary team to play an imaginary game with possibly imaginary friends.
Although your entire income over the next four months is directed completely towards belligerent Sunday morning drinking and sports betting, it's all in the American dream to rally the locals, don your team's colors and cheer until your voice box gives out. Let's just hope the replacement refs don't fill in at the presidential debates this month too.
No. 8 - National Seafood Month
Everyday seems to be National Something Day, so much so that most days celebrate two things, like vodka and tacos or prostitution and toothpaste. Why not add one more to the list with the month-long celebration of National Seafood Month?
Not only is this a celebration of seafood's delectability this month, but it's also a time for awareness. This is a poignant topic because, aside from the fact that seafood is a refreshing delicacy, its future is looking more and more bleak with the problems like overfishing in our oceans. It's important for people understand that certain types of seafood, such as blue fin tuna and many other large fish, are being overfished illegally across the globe. Many of the fish we have grown to know, love and watch on television are endangered, disappearing in masses from 70 to 90 percent. It's cool to enjoy seafood, but it's way cooler if we know which is the right kind to eat. So study up and learn this month!
Related: The Sad Truth About Oceanic Pollution
(Editor's note: For our female readers out there, October is also Breast Cancer Awareness Month. So if you haven't recently, make sure to get yourself checked out and spread the word to other women.)
No. 7 - Fall Beer Here
It doesn't take a top notch set of taste buds to know that the best seasonal beers arrive in the fall, shortly after the summer blondes and just before the pale winter whites, throwing a lovely party in your mouth where everyone is invited to take a whiff.
Visit a local brewery or try some tasty beer flights to make it official. With just the right amount of hops and barley, you can bid farewell to cases of watered-down domestics and pick up a nice pack of quality brew worth savoring. Although they're not always the best for shot-gunning, you can be assured that people will respect your taste in beer selection a bit more, plus you won't continue to walk around with beer stains on your shirt from acting like a frat boy. Or maybe you will.
Oh, and we didn't forget. October also means there are Oktoberfest celebrations the entire month in countless cities across the world. Find one, and take advantage of it.
No 6 - Halloween Haunts Us Again
The day where we dress like the sluts and psychopaths we truly wish to be, Halloween. It's hard to imagine another day that makes you feel as comfy cross-dressing in front of your friends, taking candy from strangers and pretending to be someone else so people will like you. It's like playing dress-up at a gay brothel that hands you a gift bag on your way out just for coming. What could be better than that?
Each year, there's always that group of people who cleverly disguise themselves as the trendiest thing to come along that year. The only question is which costumes will be the biggest hit, aside from skinny guys going as Bane and Batman, blind people as referees and of course, some jackass who thinks it's not too soon to be Bin Laden.
No. 5 - Pumpkin Spiced Everything
Lattes, pies, ice cream, even hamburgers. Everything is better when it's pumpkin spiced, making the fall season that much more likeable. Like a premature Thanksgiving, notice how October makes the food in-take larger as you go, which works proportionately to your waistband.
If you happen to be in the Midwest, check out Morton, Illinois, the "Pumpkin Capital of the World." There you'll have a hard time finding anything that isn't made with pumpkin this time of the year, including the people.
Since the sun is down more and the tan is quickly fading, it seems more and more acceptable to wear your sweatpants, so why not eat and drink until the elastic gives out? Exercise later though.
No. 4 - Films Without Superheroes
Hopefully we speak for everybody when we say that it's been fun watching a flock of unnecessary superhero movies so far this year, some of which flopped and successful ones that weren't even that great (or were sequels or adaptations). Now it's time to reintroduce some good ol' fashion classic films with real actors and directors, many of which you can expect later this year, but beginning in October.
Ben Affleck's "Argo," Tom Hanks' "Cloud Atlas," and Tim Burton's remastered "Frankenweenie" are just a few of the great movies to expect heavy openings from this month.
Also expect there to be blood ("Seven Psychopaths"), Oscar buzz ("The Master") and, of course, a few sequels (yet another "Taken" and "Paranormal Activity") in this tumultuous movie season. That should keep us busy while the anticipation builds for Tarantino's "Django Unchained" and Daniel Craig's new Bond flick "Skyfall" - right around the corner.
No. 3 - Presidential Debates
Democrat versus republican, black versus white, rich versus poor, smart versus stupid. However you want to look at the presidential race, this is the crucial time to tune in with the election. Politicians are revving up their bandwagons, doing their best to sway your mind as to who should be driving this buggy, but it's these debates that are the largest tell.
Look into the big topics concerning our country, take a stand on as many topics as you can and see which candidate, Obama or Romney, delivers the best ideas for each in a heated one-ups-manship debate where the candidates are more likely to throw tomatoes at one another than come to an agreement on anything.
It's an important time that only comes around every four years. So tune into the debates for both president and vice president candidates and see if you can't form your own opinion.
No. 2 - New Season of TV
If you tuned out of television due to lack of good programming or you realized that there's more to life than wondering why Jim and Pam Halpert are still getting new plotlines (not really), maybe it's time to quickly tune back in.
With several shows in their swan song seasons ("Parks & Recreation," "Community," and "The Office"), it's good to celebrate the journey we all took together, good episodes and bad, funny jokes and not-so-funny, kind-of-forced jokes.
With budget cuts and NBC and Fox making a lot of changes to their show rosters, you have to wonder if the shows to ensue will be as good. Actually you don't, it's almost certain we'll be overrun with a plague of gut-wrenching (in a bad way) reality TV and more reasons to sharpen the knives before bed.
So tune in and enjoy what's left of basic cable. Or, sell your TV set, buy a camera and make your own shows. They may actually be more watchable.
No. 1 - Columbus Day. Just Kidding. Baseball Playoffs.
Columbus Day! You wouldn't be sitting where you're sitting now, feeling great about your life and all the pretty things in it if it weren't for a great gentleman known as Christopher Columbus.
OK that's a lie. Nobody really cares, and unless you had this past Monday off you probably didn't even know people still celebrate it. Well they do, but not as much as our country celebrates the MLB postseason.
Despite decreasing interest from fans across the U.S. in recent years, October is still the month of "America's Pastime." Heroes will rise on the baseball field on these chilly autumn evenings, it's just a question of who it will be this year. And with baseball mixing it up this season and adding an extra wild card team, things are already off to a pretty fun start. If you're still not into it, well, the NBA season tips off on October 30th. So there you go, you spoiled sports fan. Enjoy.
It's a well-known fact that even some of the world's greatest men are stunted when it comes to the kitchen. Lots of stuff can happen in this little space and without the proper guidance, a man may end the evening before it begins via his missing finger in her soup. So lets avoid tragedy and learn 10 simple ways to cook like a man for a lady, because us men need every edge we can get to keep the women satisfied with all of our shortcomings.
1. Smooth Breakfast
Start the day on a good note with your gal, whether she's your lady of many years or the one girl crazy enough to go home with you last night. Keep it simple but refreshing with a small, light portion of red potatoes, eggs over easy and turkey bacon.
Preheat and add turkey bacon to the oven first, and it should be done around the same time as your eggs and potatoes. The potatoes you'll boil in a pot on the stove until they're easily penetrable with a fork, then drained and added to a skillet, which is where you sauté little slivers of sweet peppers and onion while the potatoes were boiling.
On low heat, season the potatoes and cook until they're light brown, borderline hash browns. Then, quickly and separately fry an egg, over easy. Place the potatoes & peppers on a plate, then toss the egg on top so the yolk can sexily drip over the potatoes.
If you have any energy left for a smoothie, simply pick two to three fruits (strawberries, peaches and bananas are great) and toss in a blender, add yogurt, honey and a splash of milk. If this doesn't make her happy, bail immediately.
Ingredients (for two servings):
2-3 red potatoes (cleaned)
1 bell or sweet pepper
1/2 onion
2 eggs
6 strips turkey bacon
8-10 strawberries
1 peach
1 banana
2 servings yogurt
1 tsp honey
¼ cup milk
2. Grilled Rosemary Ham & Cheese
Sounds fancy, but it's quite simple and makes a good afternoon lunch or late night drunk snack. Make this on the stove, just like a grilled cheese, by lightly buttering two pieces of bread, only add garlic salt to each, as well.
While the cheese melts on top of one piece, place ham sprinkled in rosemary seasoning on the skillet to warm it up. Once the ham is hot, add it on top of the cheese and place the other slice on top (cooked side facing out). Continue to cook both sides until the bread is golden brown, or until she yells at you to quit burning her food.
Ingredients (for one serving):
2 slices bread
3 slices ham
1 tbsp butter
1-2 slices cheese
Rosemary seasoning
Garlic salt
3. Mexican Fiesta
It doesn't really matter how you organize it - whether it's nachos, tacos or burritos - Mexican night is always a hit. It's easy, too, even if you're a red-blooded American.
The main ingredients in Mexican food are typically the same, but the form that it takes can be whatever you wish at the moment. If you're in the mood for tortilla chips, you can make nachos or a sweet taco salad (by crushing up the chips and mixing everything together), or roll it all up in shells for soft tacos or a burrito the size of her head.
No matter which you choose, you'll brown up your beef in a skillet, remembering to drain the meat once (to keep it healthy and mess-free), and then add the meat back to the skillet where you'll add taco seasoning and beans. You can choose from black or refried, or none at all depending on how gassy you (including her) are at the time.
The exciting part comes when you garnish with shredded cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and salsa. Note that a good guacamole is the key to any worthwhile lady's heart, and sour cream just shows you care.
Ingredients (for two servings):
1/2 lb. ground beef
I/4 bag shredded cheese
2 tortillas shells
1 pack taco seasoning
Shredded lettuce and cheese
Sour cream
1 can beans (black or refried)
1 tomato
Salsa
4. Fajitas
It'll trick her into believing she's at Chili's, which is where every girl dreams of spending her evenings. In the simplest way possible, set up two skillets with a little cooking oil, one that sautés slices of sweet peppers and onions and one that cooks your chicken (or steak). How far you take this is up to you.
It's as simple as cooking both separately, then adding them together in one pan to blend the flavors, but you can also spice it up with some jalapeno peppers, beans, mushrooms, or anything else you might like. "Fajita" is just another word for a delicious mess of fresh produce, so find what you like and throw it in. This does not include her cat.
Ingredients (for one serving):
2-3 peppers (red, bell or green) or frozen bag of mixed pepper slices
1 onion
1 lb. chicken
5. Teriyaki Chicken Pineapple
You can make her head spin without making yours using a little Hawaiian-esque treat. Hop on the grill and char up some boneless, skinless chicken breasts. The trick is that you marinate the chicken in teriyaki sauce at least a couple hours prior to cooking. Since you're a man and this is unlikely, baste both sides continuously as you grill. The kicker is adding the pineapples slices on top once the chicken is on its final flip, using toothpicks to secure.
During this process, steam up some jasmine (or white) rice in any number of ways you can steam rice (read the box or buy a steamer). Lay the chicken on a bed of rice when you're done, and she'll regret the day she called you a tasteless loser.
Ingredients (for two servings):
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
3-6 slices pineapple
1/2 cup jasmine rice
Teriyaki sauce
6. Tomato Basil Bruschetta
Pretty-looking, good-tasting things don't have to be difficult, but she doesn't have to know how easy it was for you.
Mix the drained, diced tomatoes (or fire-roasted) with the basil and garlic (or garlic salt) in a bowl. Using fresh baguette from the bakery (or closest grocery store), lightly spread olive oil on top. Toast the baguette in the oven, if preferred, until golden brown.
Add the mixture atop the baguette. You can melt a little shredded mozzarella cheese on top, too. Continue to serve, spoil and impress your lucky lady in under 10 minutes.
Ingredients:
1 can diced tomatoes
8-10 sliced, toasted baguettes
2 tbsp basil
1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 clove garlic
7. Vegetarian Salad
From one man to another, it's as easy as finding a bunch of fresh produce and tossing it into a bowl with a nice dressing. "Salad," after all, is just another word for tossing a bunch of tasty, healthy crap in a bowl. If she's a healthy eater, keep everything (especially the dressing) healthy. Instead of making the same salad as everyone else, try a refreshing take using some fresh fruit.
Simply toss baby spinach (cleaned) into a giant bowl and add peaches and pecans on top. To make it interesting, add a nice cheese, such as brie, and a light balsamic dressing.
Ingredients:
1 cup pecans
2 slices peaches
Baby spinach
Brie cheese
Balsamic dressing
8. Penne Pasta
Next to grilled cheese, spaghetti is second in line for easiest adult meal, even for a guy with no cooking skills. Take it up a notch by trading spaghetti noodles for penne and getting a nice sauce, not the cheap stuff, but a three-cheese blend.
While you cook your noodles, sauté slices of red peppers and zucchini in a saucepan, then add your sauce on top. When the noodles are done, drain them and add to the sauce. Wallah!
Add some garlic salted toast, Parmesan cheese and red wine (pinot noir is a good choice) to the table, and you've got a home-cooked Italian meal, sans the five-pound to-go box. If you're lucky, you'll have a "Lady and the Tramp" moment, only hopefully she's not a dog or a tramp.
Ingredients (for two servings):
1 lb. penne pasta noodles
1 (24 oz.) jar spaghetti sauce
1 red pepper
1 zucchini
1 bottle red wine
2 slices toasted garlic bread
9. Steak & Asparagus
If she's into steak, you've got yourself a real woman. Grill those puppies (boneless prime rib is a good move) with some Worcestershire sauce, garlic salt and steak seasoning. Cook up a dozen pieces asparagus for the two of you, either in a skillet with some cooking oil and seasoning or on a piece of foil on the grill.
Cook the steak, flipping only once if possible, until it reaches the desired color, most likely medium, give or take a couple minutes. Remember, the animal should be dead for the lady.
Beer always goes well with a nice steak, and if she's a meat lover, chances are beer is on her list of hobbies too, so find a good tasting, full flavor beer. Leave the domestic stuff for the kids.
Ingredients (for two servings):
2 steaks (seasoned)
1 bundle asparagus
6-pack beer (perhaps a nice seasonal lager)
10. Wine & Cheese
If all else fails, and you realize you shouldn't be allowed near a kitchen or anything that burns, keep it classy with the simplest cup of red wine, a nice block of Brie and some crackers to go with. Apple and peach slices, as well as grapes, are appreciated.
You're basically giving her a trip to the vineyard without the vineyard. We're wooing women with food here, gentlemen, not disarming a bomb, so keep it simple and leave the green wire alone!
Ingredients:
1-2 bottles red wine (depending on how big of lush she is)
1 block Brie cheese
1 roll crackers (keep it healthy, but the better the cheese, the simpler the cracker you'll want)
1 apple (sliced)
1 peach (sliced)
1 bunch of grapes
Machine Gun Kelly got signed by P. Diddy at Bad Boy records and was named the Hottest Breakthrough MC of 2011 by MTV, so he knows a thing or two about rapping. That's why we asked the rapid-fire lyricist out of Cleveland, OH to break down the 10 albums that he can't live without. You probably won't be surprised by what he put at #1, but after that, his list features an interesting mix of soul classics, new school hip-hop and even some funk-rock. Check it out to see if you own any of the records that helped MGK become the musician he is today.
1. Lace Up - MGK
2. Enema of the State - Blink 182
3. It's Dark And Hell Is Hot - DMX
4. Kamikaze - Twista
5. Red Hot Chili Peppers: Greatest Hits - Red Hot Chili Peppers
6. 8 Mile Soundtrack - Eminem
7. Get Rich or Die Tryin' - 50 Cent
8. All Eyez on Me - Tupac
9. Art of War - Bone Thugs-n-Harmony
10. Greatest Hits: The Temptations - The Temptations
Back in May, we featured a very sexy gallery of Australian beauty Sheridyn Fisher (pictured left). Turns out, Fisher enjoys photo shoots with other blonde bombshells like herself, in this case Lauren Waugh (pictured right). Waugh was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma and is best known for her work with Playboy (under the alias Addison Miller). While we have never featured a gallery of Waugh on Mandatory before, she was included in our 100 Sexiest Twitter Pics (slide #62). So it's not like we haven't been paying attention. Anyway, this gallery gives both gorgeous models the attention they deserve. Keep clicking for more.
Also, follow Lauren Waugh and Sheridyn Fisher on Twitter.
Back in May, we featured a very sexy gallery of Australian beauty Sheridyn Fisher (pictured left). Turns out, Fisher enjoys photo shoots with other blonde bombshells like herself, in this case Lauren Waugh (pictured right). Waugh was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma and is best known for her work with Playboy (under the alias Addison Miller). While we have never featured a gallery of Waugh on Mandatory before, she was included in our 100 Sexiest Twitter Pics (slide #62). So it's not like we haven't been paying attention. Anyway, this gallery gives both gorgeous models the attention they deserve. Keep clicking for more.
Also, follow Lauren Waugh and Sheridyn Fisher on Twitter.
Back in May, we featured a very sexy gallery of Australian beauty Sheridyn Fisher (pictured left). Turns out, Fisher enjoys photo shoots with other blonde bombshells like herself, in this case Lauren Waugh (pictured right). Waugh was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma and is best known for her work with Playboy (under the alias Addison Miller). While we have never featured a gallery of Waugh on Mandatory before, she was included in our 100 Sexiest Twitter Pics (slide #62). So it's not like we haven't been paying attention. Anyway, this gallery gives both gorgeous models the attention they deserve. Keep clicking for more.
Also, follow Lauren Waugh and Sheridyn Fisher on Twitter.
Back in May, we featured a very sexy gallery of Australian beauty Sheridyn Fisher (pictured left). Turns out, Fisher enjoys photo shoots with other blonde bombshells like herself, in this case Lauren Waugh (pictured right). Waugh was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma and is best known for her work with Playboy (under the alias Addison Miller). While we have never featured a gallery of Waugh on Mandatory before, she was included in our 100 Sexiest Twitter Pics (slide #62). So it's not like we haven't been paying attention. Anyway, this gallery gives both gorgeous models the attention they deserve. Keep clicking for more.
Also, follow Lauren Waugh and Sheridyn Fisher on Twitter.
Back in May, we featured a very sexy gallery of Australian beauty Sheridyn Fisher (pictured left). Turns out, Fisher enjoys photo shoots with other blonde bombshells like herself, in this case Lauren Waugh (pictured right). Waugh was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma and is best known for her work with Playboy (under the alias Addison Miller). While we have never featured a gallery of Waugh on Mandatory before, she was included in our 100 Sexiest Twitter Pics (slide #62). So it's not like we haven't been paying attention. Anyway, this gallery gives both gorgeous models the attention they deserve. Keep clicking for more.
Also, follow Lauren Waugh and Sheridyn Fisher on Twitter.
Follow Lauren Waugh and Sheridyn Fisher on Twitter.
Back in May, we featured a very sexy gallery of Australian beauty Sheridyn Fisher (pictured left). Turns out, Fisher enjoys photo shoots with other blonde bombshells like herself, in this case Lauren Waugh (pictured right). Waugh was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma and is best known for her work with Playboy (under the alias Addison Miller). While we have never featured a gallery of Waugh on Mandatory before, she was included in our 100 Sexiest Twitter Pics (slide #62). So it's not like we haven't been paying attention. Anyway, this gallery gives both gorgeous models the attention they deserve. Keep clicking for more.
Also, follow Lauren Waugh and Sheridyn Fisher on Twitter.
Back in May, we featured a very sexy gallery of Australian beauty Sheridyn Fisher (pictured left). Turns out, Fisher enjoys photo shoots with other blonde bombshells like herself, in this case Lauren Waugh (pictured right). Waugh was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma and is best known for her work with Playboy (under the alias Addison Miller). While we have never featured a gallery of Waugh on Mandatory before, she was included in our 100 Sexiest Twitter Pics (slide #62). So it's not like we haven't been paying attention. Anyway, this gallery gives both gorgeous models the attention they deserve. Keep clicking for more.
Also, follow Lauren Waugh and Sheridyn Fisher on Twitter.
Back in May, we featured a very sexy gallery of Australian beauty Sheridyn Fisher (pictured left). Turns out, Fisher enjoys photo shoots with other blonde bombshells like herself, in this case Lauren Waugh (pictured right). Waugh was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma and is best known for her work with Playboy (under the alias Addison Miller). While we have never featured a gallery of Waugh on Mandatory before, she was included in our 100 Sexiest Twitter Pics (slide #62). So it's not like we haven't been paying attention. Anyway, this gallery gives both gorgeous models the attention they deserve. Keep clicking for more.
Also, follow Lauren Waugh and Sheridyn Fisher on Twitter.
Back in May, we featured a very sexy gallery of Australian beauty Sheridyn Fisher (pictured left). Turns out, Fisher enjoys photo shoots with other blonde bombshells like herself, in this case Lauren Waugh (pictured right). Waugh was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma and is best known for her work with Playboy (under the alias Addison Miller). While we have never featured a gallery of Waugh on Mandatory before, she was included in our 100 Sexiest Twitter Pics (slide #62). So it's not like we haven't been paying attention. Anyway, this gallery gives both gorgeous models the attention they deserve. Keep clicking for more.
Also, follow Lauren Waugh and Sheridyn Fisher on Twitter.
Back in May, we featured a very sexy gallery of Australian beauty Sheridyn Fisher (pictured left). Turns out, Fisher enjoys photo shoots with other blonde bombshells like herself, in this case Lauren Waugh (pictured right). Waugh was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma and is best known for her work with Playboy (under the alias Addison Miller). While we have never featured a gallery of Waugh on Mandatory before, she was included in our 100 Sexiest Twitter Pics (slide #62). So it's not like we haven't been paying attention. Anyway, this gallery gives both gorgeous models the attention they deserve. Keep clicking for more.
Also, follow Lauren Waugh and Sheridyn Fisher on Twitter.
Back in May, we featured a very sexy gallery of Australian beauty Sheridyn Fisher (pictured left). Turns out, Fisher enjoys photo shoots with other blonde bombshells like herself, in this case Lauren Waugh (pictured right). Waugh was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma and is best known for her work with Playboy (under the alias Addison Miller). While we have never featured a gallery of Waugh on Mandatory before, she was included in our 100 Sexiest Twitter Pics (slide #62). So it's not like we haven't been paying attention. Anyway, this gallery gives both gorgeous models the attention they deserve. Keep clicking for more.
Also, follow Lauren Waugh and Sheridyn Fisher on Twitter.
Back in May, we featured a very sexy gallery of Australian beauty Sheridyn Fisher (pictured left). Turns out, Fisher enjoys photo shoots with other blonde bombshells like herself, in this case Lauren Waugh (pictured right). Waugh was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma and is best known for her work with Playboy (under the alias Addison Miller). While we have never featured a gallery of Waugh on Mandatory before, she was included in our 100 Sexiest Twitter Pics (slide #62). So it's not like we haven't been paying attention. Anyway, this gallery gives both gorgeous models the attention they deserve. Keep clicking for more.
Also, follow Lauren Waugh and Sheridyn Fisher on Twitter.
Back in May, we featured a very sexy gallery of Australian beauty Sheridyn Fisher (pictured left). Turns out, Fisher enjoys photo shoots with other blonde bombshells like herself, in this case Lauren Waugh (pictured right). Waugh was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma and is best known for her work with Playboy (under the alias Addison Miller). While we have never featured a gallery of Waugh on Mandatory before, she was included in our 100 Sexiest Twitter Pics (slide #62). So it's not like we haven't been paying attention. Anyway, this gallery gives both gorgeous models the attention they deserve. Keep clicking for more.
Also, follow Lauren Waugh and Sheridyn Fisher on Twitter.
Follow Lauren Waugh and Sheridyn Fisher on Twitter.
If you've ever watched the RedZone Channel during an NFL Sunday, you know that it is a perfect baby born from the marriage between television and football. The only thing that could possibly make it better would be copious amounts of booze. With that in mind, we put together the RedZone Channel drinking game to make sure that every one of your Monday mornings for the rest of the football season will be filled with headaches and good/blurry memories from the day before. Here are the rules:
TAKE ONE DRINK
- Every time a team scores
- Every time they go to a double box (two games at once)
- Every time they cut to a game but show you the game's previous play to explain how the team got their current field position
- Every time the host updates you on how many "one score" games there are
- Every time you see one of your fantasy players score
- Every time the host mentions a player is having a good fantasy performance
- Every time you change the channel and see that they're playing the same game that's on RedZone
- Every time you see a turnover
TAKE TWO DRINKS
- Every time you see a Michael Vick turnover
- Every time RedZone cuts to a game and then that game cuts to a highlight from the game RedZone was just showing
- Every time you see more than four plays from the same game
- If they accidentally let a commercial break start
- If they have to go to the announcer because all of the games are on commercial breaks
- Every time they go to the scoreboard-only shot while the announcer catches you up on all the games
- If you take a bathroom break and miss a score
- When they show a meaningless TD in a blowout just because they "promise to show you every touchdown on the day"
- Every time you see a kick return that doesn't result in a TD
- If you have to listen to a sideline report
CHUG YOUR BEER
- If they go to a quad box (four games at once)
TAKE A SHOT
- If they show two or more game-winning field goal attempts at the same time
DOWN A BOTTLE OF LIQUOR
- If the Browns win
When someone messes up a very simple task, they deserve to be called out. That's pretty much the entire reason the Internet exists. To celebrate other people's incompetence, here is a collection of people who had one job to do but just couldn't pull it off. You had one job, people!
"Bruce is going to be so pissed..." -Clark Kent
"How am I supposed to hold the cup? HOW?!"
Sweatshops just aren't what they used to be.
This took a really long time to screw up.
Buzz Lightyear would've made the movie even more kickass.
Worst. Roommate. Ever.
If you stare at this long enough you start to believe it.
Thrift store gem.
"Mike, how can we say, 'Is it in you?' if we can't even get the right stuff IN the bottle?!"
"The guests will be very uncomfortable, but they will not be hungry."
That relish is gross anyway.
I don't know if poor education is a stereotype about Minnesota, but I guess it is?
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Upside down door.
Upside down door, who?
YOU HAD ONE JOB.
"People will be too busy texting and driving to notice..."
Flea is not going to like this.
"So all of those chicks from different ethnic backrounds are NOT going to sing and dance around us later?"
"First of all, we can't get the candy if you don't open the bag. Second, for the love of God, WHY would you even want to mix Skittles and M&M's?!?!"
"We have a problem...neither of these are really 'pink'."
"Seriously, can we fire the blind guy?"
That's one remote you shouldn't mind losing.
"I don't understand Latin culture."
"This broccoli cheese soup is going to taste weird."
This should be fixed when the iPhone 6 comes out.
Americans make the "Made in China" labels.
"My bunny's ears fell off!"
University of Benihana.
"The new Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie is going to SUCK."
"Well it was that or don't get your mail."
"Why did we have the blind guy stock the produce? Better yet, why did we hire a blind guy?"
"Wow...I don't remember that from the SAT Prep book."
"Well at least we know what we're eating now..."
"Let's not shop at the Dollar Tree for everything anymore."
"I know you can't read Ricky, but I thought I taught you about shapes!"
$129 or $1.29?
I don't even want to know what the "Apple" is.
"I don't know, man. We hired this blind guy. He used to work at a grocery store."
Walmart products...
Close enough...
I really want a Sprite right now.
Which one of these is not like the other...?
You know Willie Wonka and his crazy pranks.
Those are some pretty large cherries.
This seems to happen an awful lot.
Half right.
My doctor said have two eggs every morning. I guess I have to...
"And we're going to see a bit of a spike in temperature tonight, but it should be back to normal right before you take the kids to school."
True art can be anything you want it to be.
Also known as additive manufacturing, 3D printing is bringing us one step closer to that machine on "Star Trek" that could make anything we want at the touch of a button. The technology works by progressively overlaying thin layers of material on top of one another, and it's used for everything from tooth fillings to jewelry. Now that the hardware is cheap enough for hobbyists to buy, it's being used for even weirder stuff. Here are ten of the craziest items we've ever seen come out of a 3D printer.
A Car
It was only a matter of time before some genius decided to use 3D printing to make a car. Tech companies Stratasys and Kor Ecologic teamed up in 2010 to develop a two-passenger hybrid car that has a chassis completely composed of 3D printed material. The Urbee, as they dubbed it, has a futuristic form factor that looks like something from "The Jetsons," and a high-tech interior to boot. This thing has some sick fuel efficiency, too, getting up to 200 miles per gallon on the highway. It also recharges in the garage and runs for longer distances on an ethanol engine.
A Sex Toy
Is there anything more personal than a sex toy? Don't answer that question, we really don't want to know. It's not surprising that the 3D printing revolution has made its way to the erotic world, and one of the strangest manifestations is "Grand Old Party," a series of butt plugs by artist Matthew Eppler that took polling data from the 2012 Republican presidential primary and rendered each candidate's approval rating as a curvaceous sex toy. We're refraining from making any jokes about how screwed our country is here.
A Burrito
It's not just plastic that can be fed through a 3D printer. New York University student Marko Manriquez was captivated by the technology and decided to use it to produce something that he's passionate about: Mexican food. Hence the creation of BurritoBot, a customized printer that creates burritos to order based on user input of salsa, sour cream, guacamole and more. It's a goofy take on the concept but it sure does make a good burrito.
A Bikini
One of the more interesting aspects of the 3D printing craze is the idea of making clothes that are really "ready to wear" by tailoring them to the contours of your body right out of the machine. One of the firms at the cutting edge of this trend is Continuum, which uses additive manufacturing to produce a wide variety of products. Probably most interesting is the N12 bikini top, which is layered from microscopic particles of nylon in a complex interlocking circle pattern to produce a flexible and attractive piece of swimwear. Could a thong be next?
An Unborn Fetus
One of the worst things about being friends with prospective parents is having to look at blurry ultrasound pictures of their developing spawn. Seriously, those things just look weird, like X-Files aliens or something. But Japan has an answer. The Parkside Hiroo Ladies Clinic in Tokyo teamed up with Fasotec, an engineering company, to produce 3D models of unborn children for proud parents to show off. Known as the "Shape of an Angel" model, it interprets multiple ultrasound readings into a single 3D shape, which is then cast in white resin and "floated" in clear resin. At about $1,200, it's not cheap.
A Gun
There are several people laboring to create working firearms with their 3D printers, including one ambitious effort to make the whole thing from scratch. But so far, only one person has managed to produce firearms that actually work. A gunsmith known only as HaveBlue produced a working AR-15 lower receiver and fitted it to a pre-existing barrel. It test fired 200 rounds beautifully. Sure, the metal firing pin and barrel weren't 3D printed, but it's only a matter of time before making a gun is easier than buying one.
Prosthetic Limbs
One of the most interesting uses of 3D printing is in the medical field, with several companies creating products to aid the suffering. One of the most interesting is Bespoke Innovations, who use the technology to design and develop one-of-a-kind prosthetic limbs for amputees. Many prosthetics are designed for function over form, and don't replicate the shape of the lost limb. Bespoke's "Fairings" are created from casts of existing limbs and slide over the existing prosthetic to make the lost limb seem more natural. You can also accessorize them with different materials and even tattoos.
Meat
3D printing is capable of all sorts of interesting things, but some people are pushing the envelope a little farther than we're comfortable with. Modern Meadow, a new startup backed by PayPal founder Peter Thiel, is using the basic principles of additive manufacturing to make...meat. Modern Meadow is using tissue engineering to produce protein-exact replicas of animal meat and hide in an in vitro environment. They're still in the prototyping stage, but expect them to make big strides as soon as the USDA approves of their Frankenstein-esque plan.
The Smithsonian Institution
Well, not the building itself, but at least all of the stuff in the Smithsonian Institution. The largest repository of historical and scientific artifacts in the United States is hard to move around, but the whole point is to share them. With over 137 million different items in the collection, it can be impossible to deal with. That's why the museum has started using the RedEye On Demand 3D printing technology to enable duplication of their goods for display around the world. Starting with a historic sculpture of Thomas Jefferson that's on display in Monticello, they've announced their intention to scan everything into digital form and recreate it as needed. We're in the Matrix, folks.
Your Own Face
Now this one is just creepy. iPhone app Trimensional was launched in 2011 to little fanfare, but once people realized what it could be used for, things got crazy. The app uses the front-facing camera on an iPhone 4 or newer to take images at different angles by projecting light from the screen. It then knits those images together to make a 3D model, which can then be exported to a 3D printer to create a lifelike mask of your own visage. Then, you can wear it on top of your real face and rob a bank! It's the perfect crime!
Another week, another batch of inappropriately hilarious tweets compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them yourself. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.
Follow @robfee on Twitter, and check out his bestselling comedy album, "Grape Stomp," on iTunes.
The second worst thing about dating a panda is never being able to have bamboo furniture.
"Their first album was better," he awkwardly mumbled, as he came all over her stupid bangs - excerpt from my novel of hipster erotica
Never play "seven minutes in heaven" in England, unless you want to risk making out for like 70 Narnia years.
I don't think my black friends on Facebook have the same keyboard as me.
Next time someone asks "do you like impressions?" grab 'em by the shoulders, look into their eyes and whisper "I fucking love impressions."
One time I was driving & I thought this woman was casting a spell on me but she was really just trying to tell me I had books on my car roof
no one wants to see your fucking sock tan, linda
Next time someone in a haunted house tries to scare you, touch noses & say "I will fuck you in your sleep tonight."
@PaulyMortadella
You haven't lived until you've tried to make a bed and the sheets get caught by a ceiling fan and destroy all lamps in the room.
Scrub (n.) a guy who thinks he's fly. (syn. Buster)
should I get a nose ring? and by nose ring I mean abortion
We are so close to living in an age where someone will say, "Oh, no. Grandma Brittany died."
If I've "mentioned" you on twitter and you didn't reply, guess who turned the diorama of our first date around so it's facing the wall now
Straight marriage, gay marriage, whatever. Just stop showing me pictures of your kids and we're cool.
I wonder how many special moments are currently being ruined by an LMFAO song.
Being full of energy for five hours sounds horrible.
My favorite part of the turkey is its jive ass.
Paul Ryan should tie a sweater around his neck to complete his "every preppy bad guy from an 80s movie" look.
I inhaled a helium ballon filled with cocaine and won a Nicki Minaj karaoke contest.
Tomorrow we can drive around this town and let the cops chase us around or we can not do that the last thing I need is a felony I have kids.
We want you to laugh your pants off, so every day we dive into the dark and sludgy waters of the Internet to find you the absolute funniest photos ever. Then we shower, because the Internet is an absolutely filthy place. Then we post all those hilarious photos for you to enjoy. (Then we shower again, just in case.)
C'mon guys, there's no need to fight.
Of course the guy who created the boner pill has a pool in the shape of a penis. Did you expect something else?
It's a great safety plan. (As long as they're both always wearing those shirts.)
But he does have the right to bear arms.
It's the little things in life that make you laugh the most. Little things like Anus backpacks.
The blobfish is a sin against nature.
Click here for other weird sea creatures.
Believe it or not, this real life Crypt Keeper isn't dead. It's just an old man sleeping on a plane.
There needs to be more honest cakes out there. And why should we relegate cake-giving to just the good times?
This isn't a headline you see everyday.
Yep, these Milanos look just like advertised.
I don't care who you are, this is always funny.
Barack Obama's signature looks like a T-Rex playing with a ball of yarn. Not sure if this will help him in the next debate, but it's good for us to know.
This is how Amazon packs bubble wrap.
This is a very good Yahoo! Answers question, followed by a very good answer.
Click here for more hilarious Yahoo! Answers questions.
The high guy meme delivers every single time.
It's good to know how you'll feel in case you find yourself measuring temperatures in Fahrenheit, Celsius or Kelvin.
I'm pretty sure this question is why Twitter was invented.
You really send a message when you need your zipper to go down that far. A sexy message.
Some people backpack the world over, nickel-and-diming in youth hostels, taking in the local culture. And then there's the other side of the spectrum, where the uber-wealthy bend the local culture to their will. Most of us would need to win the lottery or hack a bank to stay in hotel suites with names like Presidential, Royal or Imperial. With their list of amenities (on-call staff, chauffeurs, masseuses, flat-screen TVs, ad nausuem) you'll ask yourself: what is it they don't have? Most are bigger than many people's homes, and are certainly bigger than most wallets. Click ahead for 12 of the most expensive hotel rooms in the world.
Imperial Suite at the Park Hyatt - Paris, France
For that home-away-from-home feel (or mansion-away-from-mansion), this suite is located in the heart of Paris and overlooks the Rue de la Paix. Replete with high ceilings, Jacuzzi, mansard roof (look it up, folks, it's French), and a 60-square foot balcony, it's a bargain at $20,000 per night.
Hugh Hefner Sky Villa at the Palms Resort - Las Vegas
You know it; you yearn for it. With artwork personally picked out by Hugh Hefner, an indoor waterfall, rotating circular bed and a cantilevered spa with views of The Strip, there is no better place to party. Cost? About $35,000 per night.
Villa La Cupola Suite at The Westin Excelsior - Rome, Italy
With a cupola, Jacuzzi, frescoes and stained glass, the suite is almost 7,000-square feet and has even more outdoor space with balconies and terraces. At $30,000 a night, it's nearly 50 percent more than its 2010 price. Recession? What recession?
The Royal Villa at the Grand Resort - Lagonisi, Greece
A fully equipped gym, steam bath, marble bathroom, heated floors, private beach, even an indoor heated pool. But it's the outdoor view that probably commands such a price. My dreams say this $34,000 per night fantasy might just be worth it.
Penthouse Suite at Hotel Martinez - Cannes, France
Located in Cannes, famous for its annual film festival and gorgeous views, this suite is over 2,000 square feet with everything you can imagine. Most importantly, though, the rooms are soundproofed - the perfect place for legendary parties. It costs $37,000 per night.
Presidential Suite at Hotel Cala di Vople - Sardina, Italy
At about $34,000 per night, this multiple-level suite has two living rooms, a private swimming pool, a fitness suite and handcrafted Sardinian furniture. Is it worth it, or just an upscale Holiday Inn with a fancy view?
Royal Towers Bridge Suite at Atlantis - Bahamas
Desire, meet Reality: ten rooms, a 1,250-square-foot living room, grand piano, 22-karat chandelier, 12-foot ceilings, a staff of seven, and all with views. This suite overlooks the entire resort and marina, so you can feel like the Great Gatsby. According to Forbes, Michael Jackson, Bill Gates and Oprah Winfrey have stayed there. Cost? Around $25,000 per night.
Ritz-Carlton Suite at The Ritz-Carlton - Tokyo, Japan
Personal concierge, marble bathroom, four-poster king bed, rain shower booths and a view of Mt. Fuji. Considering space in Tokyo is scarce, the price of $25,000 per night seems like a bargain.
Royal Suite at Burj Al Arab - Dubai, UAE
For only $19,000 per night, guests can stay on the 25th floor with amenities, including a private elevator and cinema, leopard print carpets, marble floor and mahogany furniture. Is anyone else getting an "Ali Baba and Flying Carpet" vibe?
Ty Warner Penthouse Suite at Four Seasons Hotel - New York, NY
Named after the creator of Beanie Babies, Ty Warner, the suite is the entire top floor of the hotel with 360-degree views through bay windows and four glass balconies. We're all familiar with the crazy prices for apartments in NYC that are the size of a closet. So don't wince when I tell you the price: $41,000 per night.
Presidential Suite at The Raj Palace Hotel - Jaipur, India
Rooftop terrace. Swimming pool. Decorated in ivory and gold. The only thing it's missing is a staff of sexy women to fan you and feed you grapes. Only $45,000 per night.
Royal Penthouse Suite at Hotel President Wilson - Geneva, Switzerland
So what makes this four-bedroom suite so special? Aside from a grand piano and panoramic view of Lake Geneva, the Royal Penthouse Suite is known for its security. Seems Geneva attracts heads of state. With bulletproof windows, armored doors and panic buttons, security carries a price tag of $65,000 per night.
Funny photos are awesome. So we find the funniest of funny photos each day and post them here.
With this kind of hard-hitting journalism, it's odd that so many newspapers are going out of business.
This church sign must be talking about REALLY good friends.
Awwww. He thinks he's people.
How guys take care of passed out friends.
If you look closely, you'll see that a volleyball is flying towards her, not a giant cartoon football.
Click here for more perfectly timed photos.
Or maybe two. I can never keep count.
Something tells me this won't end well.
Click here for more photos that won't end well.
Golf doesn't look that difficult.
The snooze button, or the relive-the-worst-moment-of-your-day button.
Not only is that a terrible place to sit, it's a really bad spot to sit and try to make a phone call.
Ermagerd. In de Buurt.
Internet argument bingo is the only game that has no winners. (First.)
If you're investing in giant lion tattoos, go ahead and spend the extra $550. You'll be glad you did.
Is it me, or does this seem a little vague.
No, it looks like she's got the ratio perfect.
Thanks for the tip, Pink.
This illustrates the 2012 campaign pretty clearly.
There's a lot of truth in this sign.
If I'm being honest, this is also what I look like for the majority of the day.
Hey everybody, here are some fun facts: "The Hangover" franchise has already grossed over 1 billion dollars globally. "The Hangover" set the new record for highest grossing R-rated comedy when it was released in 2009, and "The Hangover: Part II" nearly doubled the original's opening weekend box office total (Box Office Mojo). Those facts guaranteed that a third movie would be made, and it currently is. And while these films could in no way be deemed financial failures, there are many fans and professional film critics alike who felt slighted by the sequel, calling it "...uninspired and unoriginal..." (Richard Roeper) or even "...a headache-inducing, unapologetic money grab" (Betsy Sharkey, LA Times). It is very hard to deny that, while still having its funny moments, "The Hangover: Part II" stuck too closely to the formula of the original, resulting in a near carbon copy. And with "The Hangover: Part III" currently shooting in Los Angeles and set to be released on May 24th of 2013, now is the perfect time to discuss the elements of the film series that need to be rendered in order to ensure not only financial success (which is a given already), but a fitting end to a series that truly deserves one. Here are ten suggestions.
1. Ease Up on the Darkness
The first "Hangover" film was refreshing because it was raunchy, yet the situations the guys got into were light, funny and original. The "turmoil" was just enough to provide tension while not making people worry that the main characters were in any real danger. In the sequel, however, multiple characters were shot (yes, including the monkey), several were assumed dead, body parts were cut off and men were sodomized without their recollection. Sure, all these things are certainly possible and up the ante of the first installment, but once the shock laughs wear off, it's not really all that funny. The Stu character (Ed Helms) alone, aside from being scarred for life, most likely picked up some horrible diseases from his drug-induced encounter with a strip club tranny that realistically should have sent him seeking medical attention immediately (more on reality later). The point here is that the subject matter in the original film wasn't nearly as dark, and while dark comedy and light-hearted comedy are really a matter of preference, light is generally more pleasing. Fluctuating from one to the other between films makes no sense, especially when the tone of the first was much better received.
2. Bring Doug (Justin Bartha) Into the Mix
First off, if they weren't going to use this guy in any type of extended capacity, then why hire such a legitimate actor in the first place? We're not saying that "National Treasure" or "Failure to Launch" are great films, but Bartha had starring roles in both, as well as the brand new NBC series "The New Normal." At this point, his character could have just as easily been played by a soap opera actor or even Hayden Christiansen. Secondly, Doug is supposed to be the main characters' best friend, yet we know nothing about him beyond that he is married and Alan (Zach Galifianakis) is now his brother-in-law. He's never shown much personality, and becomes less relevant with each passing film. While he was at least the motivation for the group in the first movie, he was reduced to an easy plot device to get the gang from point A to point B in the second. And most importantly, while having a good actor play the role is already a waste, Doug the character is also perfectly useable and arguably desired as a major character. His friends, whom he is at least with at the beginning of each film, continually get into major trouble. How long can you play with fire without getting burned yourself? And what better way to break the mold than to add a fourth member to the storyline.
3. Make Something Bad Happen to Phil (Bradley Cooper)
Honestly, he's the one with an entire family (a wife and two kids that we know of). He literally has the most to lose, which could easily lead to the best comedy, yet he always comes out virtually unscathed (minus bumps and bruises). True, you need a character to keep a level head in crazy situations, but why does it always have to be him? Again, they have a perfectly good fourth buddy who could easily fill this role, seeing as how he is utterly underused anyways. Phil also seems to be the most irresponsible and immature of the three when they are sober, so why would that not translate when he is intoxicated or drugged? Maybe if something drastic happened to him on one of these crazy nights out, he'd be more cautious like Stu in the beginning of the films, forcing the writers to come up with a smarter way to drug them other than Alan every time.
4. Make Mike Tyson Significant in Some Way, or Lose Him
Look, having him in the first movie was brilliant. It was funny, unexpected, and most of all, it had a purpose and moved the story forward. Having him fly out to Bangkok at the end of the second film to sing at Stu's wedding (what?) made absolutely no sense and was a blatant "remember when he was in the first movie?" moment. Tyson is hilarious in his own light, and while he clearly shouldn't play too large of a role in the film due to not being able to understand half of what he says, this doesn't mean he couldn't make another cameo to a funny effect. Perhaps the gang could call on him to kick someone's ass. Whatever the reason, it needs to somehow drive the story; otherwise it's just a pointless celebrity cameo.
5. Same Deal - Either Lose the Surprise Baby/Monkey Aspect or Make it Worthwhile
This concept was very funny in the first film because people didn't yet know how these films worked, and therefore, didn't see it coming. But using the exact same "why is there a [insert unusual person or animal] in our hotel room?" joke again to the same basic effect in the sequel was incredibly lazy. Throwbacks are a fun nod to fans, but duplicating a joke isn't quite the same thing and rarely gets the same response. Honestly, there isn't really much else to do with this joke than to just let it go and think of something different. It's now down to either a mysterious midget or naked person. The director of the films, Todd Phillips, has said of the upcoming sequel "We're going to surprise a lot of people with the final chapter we have planned. It will be a fitting conclusion to our three-part opera of mayhem, despair and bad decisions" (The Insider). Let's hope he is a man of his word.
6. Bring Back the Bad Guy
Make Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong) a threat again. Sometimes it's good to bring characters back to their roots, especially after they completely veered away from them the second time around. Chow is supposed to be an international criminal. In "The Hangover: Part II," however, he was nothing but a walking punch line. Not only that, but much like Mike Tyson in the same film, he did nothing to move the story forward. Seriously. He "died" before he could tell the group about the night before, only to awaken later and get arrested, never to appear again. Even the whole pass codes/undercover cop storyline revolving around his character left the group with no answers. One supposed storyline in "The Hangover: Part III" (according to Galifianakis back in June 2011) revolves around Phil and Stu breaking Alan out of a mental institution. This could easily make Chow more interesting/threatening once again. He was sent to jail in "The Hangover: Part II" and basically set up (accidentally) by the three main characters. Insanity plea, anyone? That could place him in the same mental institution as Alan. Making Chow Alan's unlikely "plus one" was one of the high points of the second film; taking this to the level of bunkmates is the next logical step.
7. Keep It (Somewhat) Grounded in Reality
Yes, this one seems a bit absurd considering the fact that going to see a movie is usually to escape reality for a spell, but all we are saying here is that there is a difference between being outrageous and being unrealistic. Generally speaking, while there was plenty of ridiculousness involved in "The Hangover", most of what happened was plausible. However, there is just no possible way you could bring a tiger up to your room at Caesar's Palace. Absolutely impossible. And while this detail is forgivable for the sake of comedy, when you actually stop and think about it, it is a little much compared to the rest of the situations. And this only paved the way for even more implausible scenes in the sequel, including an unlikely car chase which culminated in an even more unlikely jump over a canal. Todd Phillips has done several other movies including "Road Trip" and "Starsky & Hutch" involving jumping cars, and they always end with the car destroyed, which is what would really happen and was hilarious in both instances. A good dose of reality, even in comedy, can go a long way.
8. An Apology Would be Nice
The three men in these films have been through hell. And each time (so far), one of them has been responsible for it. Alan is a fantastic character. He's a genius in some respects (which unfortunately wasn't touched on much in the second film), but also happens to be a "manchild" due to being spoiled by his parents his whole life. This is all well and good for comedy, because he then does things like drug them all for the sole purpose of having a fun adventure. But even a kid eventually figures out that you have to say sorry, especially when you do something like ruin someone's life. Twice. He does all these things that screw them over, and then it feels like the films still want us to be sympathetic towards him because he just wants quality time with his best friends. Yet, he has never really sincerely apologized for what he's done and seems to just use this as his excuse every time. And more often than not, he makes light of the others' misfortunes (especially Stu's) at inappropriate times. This is fine for the first two films because it establishes who Alan is. But if we are to truly believe there is a bond between these three men and continue to like Alan, then he has to basically grow up by the series' end. If not, Alan will come off mean-spirited and selfish like he did in "The Hangover: Part II", and that shouldn't be. Redemption is needed for us to truly love the character in the end.
9. Instead of Losing One Guy, Have Them All Wake Up in Separate Places
You know, like what normally happens. How often does a group of friends go out for a wild, drunken night on the town and then all wake up in the same place? This is another absurd concept that, while plausible once, makes less sense every time it is repeated, especially after the outlandish situations these guys get into. Having the core group separated the next morning would be just the mix-up this formula needs to keep it fresh, and would allow exploration of the characters individually before inevitably reuniting them. It would also allow them to meet many more new, interesting characters. Which brings us to #10...
10. Let's See Some Fresh Faces
One final tidbit that has been rumored about "The Hangover: Part III" is that it will be a road trip type of movie. Scenes have apparently been filmed in Las Vegas, Los Angeles and Tijuana. If this is indeed true, it marks the third film directed by Todd Phillips revolving around such a premise. This could either be very good, as Phillips has experience in this type of storytelling, or very bad, as it could also be worn territory for the director. In any case, the real question is how would our three main characters still always be running into all the same people? Coincidence has its limits. The recent announcements of actors such as John Goodman and Melissa McCarthy joining the cast are indeed good signs of change, but similar announcements stating the returns of Ken Jeong, Mike Tyson, Heather Graham and Mike Epps could spell a lot of repeat material and tired jokes once again. As long as these characters are warranted to the situation, so be it. But nostalgia for nostalgia's sake will limit the time given to new characters and original adventures, and that's exactly where the second film went wrong.
Really, the only disappointment I found when driving the FR-S was on the highway, where I felt like I had to keep it in fourth gear to get much response from it. I understand tall gears to boost mileage, but making both fifth and sixth that tall seems a little much. Oh, and I also hated how loud the interior got.
Don't hop into the FR-S with high expectations. It's nice, but not that nice. The dash material is a big hunk of plastic. Scion calls the interior "performance focused" which is automotive parlance for "interiors typically are the last thing we pay for when designing a car and that means interiors are slashed to save money."
Scion also attempted to improve its radio,offering the optional BeSpoke audio system, that can connect your stereo to your phone and then to Facebook, Twitter and Internet radio pages. I'd recommend getting the base 300-watt eight speaker system that includes Bluetooth connectivity to operate your phone hands free. Don't tweet, drive.
