Malena Morgan is Mighty Majestic
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Miley Cyrus and Her Tongue Denied by Katy Perry
Remember when Katy Perry burst onto the music scene with her hit song "I Kissed A Girl?" Well, it turns out she's full of shit.
Perry was sitting/twerking in the front row during the Miley Cyrus concert at the Staples Center in Los Angeles this weekend when Cyrus spotted her, climbed down from the stage, and went in for a smooch.
But what started as just an innocent peck between two of today's hottest pop stars soon turned almost as awkward as wearing your Redskins jersey to a casino when Cyrus and her tongue went in for the real thing.
Well, that's one way to make sure that nobody talks about the fact that Miley Cyrus lip syncs.
(via TMZ)
We're pretty sure Michelle Rodriguez wouldn't deny Miley: Michelle Rodriguez Gets Drunk and Sloppy at a Knicks Game
Perry was sitting/twerking in the front row during the Miley Cyrus concert at the Staples Center in Los Angeles this weekend when Cyrus spotted her, climbed down from the stage, and went in for a smooch.
But what started as just an innocent peck between two of today's hottest pop stars soon turned almost as awkward as wearing your Redskins jersey to a casino when Cyrus and her tongue went in for the real thing.
Well, that's one way to make sure that nobody talks about the fact that Miley Cyrus lip syncs.
(via TMZ)
We're pretty sure Michelle Rodriguez wouldn't deny Miley: Michelle Rodriguez Gets Drunk and Sloppy at a Knicks Game
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Smartphone App Says People in New Mexico Have Longest Sex
At least we now know the answer to the question, "What the hell am I supposed to do when I'm in New Mexico?"
A Santa Monica company has created a smartphone app that uses "the phone's accelerometer and speakers to collect data about the duration, thrusts, and decibel peak of a sexual encounter."
![smartphone app monitors sex new mexico]()
Sure, but when I do that with my video camera, I'm called a pervert.
Using the data from more than 10,000 app users, Ardenturous Labs concluded that New Mexico residents bump uglies longer than people from any other state, lasting on average of seven minutes and one second each time they plow. West Virginians came in second with an average of five minutes and thirty-eight seconds per hump sesh.
The state with the shortest average poke time was Alaska, whose residents last only an average of one minute and twenty-one seconds, probably because it's so rare to run into another human being there much less get it on with one.
In a related story, the ugliest people in the United States might be from New Mexico and West Virginia.
(via UPI)
More interesting sex news: The Weirdest Objects People Have Had Sex With
A Santa Monica company has created a smartphone app that uses "the phone's accelerometer and speakers to collect data about the duration, thrusts, and decibel peak of a sexual encounter."
Sure, but when I do that with my video camera, I'm called a pervert.
Using the data from more than 10,000 app users, Ardenturous Labs concluded that New Mexico residents bump uglies longer than people from any other state, lasting on average of seven minutes and one second each time they plow. West Virginians came in second with an average of five minutes and thirty-eight seconds per hump sesh.
The state with the shortest average poke time was Alaska, whose residents last only an average of one minute and twenty-one seconds, probably because it's so rare to run into another human being there much less get it on with one.
In a related story, the ugliest people in the United States might be from New Mexico and West Virginia.
(via UPI)
More interesting sex news: The Weirdest Objects People Have Had Sex With
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Man Fired for Using Forklift to Free Stuck Twix Bars From Vending Machine
My ex-girlfriend said she once showed her cans to her next door neighbor for a KitKat, but this is even more on the ridiculous side.
![twix bars in vending machine, man uses forklift to get Twix]()
An Iowa man lost his job after using his company's forklift to shake the crap out of a vending machine that wouldn't spit out his Twix bars.
27-year-old Robert McKevitt told the Des Moines Register that when he put a dollar in a vending machine at Polaris Industries, the Twix he purchased became stuck. When he put another dollar in, nothing happened. Naturally, he then shook the machine like an English nanny, but that also did not rectify the situation.
That's when McKevitt allegedly grabbed the company's 8,000-pound forklift, lifted the vending machine two feet in the air, and slammed it on the ground at least six times, a move that netted him three sets of the delicious cookie bars even though he only paid for two.
When his supervisor confronted him about it five days later, McKevitt says he was shown the door.
For the record, a six-pack of full-size Twix bars goes for about three bucks at Walmart.
Seriously, he might have needed a forklift for this Twix bar: Super-Sized Candy Will Make You Hungry (And A Little Sick)
An Iowa man lost his job after using his company's forklift to shake the crap out of a vending machine that wouldn't spit out his Twix bars.
27-year-old Robert McKevitt told the Des Moines Register that when he put a dollar in a vending machine at Polaris Industries, the Twix he purchased became stuck. When he put another dollar in, nothing happened. Naturally, he then shook the machine like an English nanny, but that also did not rectify the situation.
That's when McKevitt allegedly grabbed the company's 8,000-pound forklift, lifted the vending machine two feet in the air, and slammed it on the ground at least six times, a move that netted him three sets of the delicious cookie bars even though he only paid for two.
When his supervisor confronted him about it five days later, McKevitt says he was shown the door.
For the record, a six-pack of full-size Twix bars goes for about three bucks at Walmart.
Seriously, he might have needed a forklift for this Twix bar: Super-Sized Candy Will Make You Hungry (And A Little Sick)
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Coachella 2014: Worth the Trip or Sell Your Tickets?
Everybody wants to get sweaty and thrown about like a rag doll at one of the country's most famous music festivals, but with the ticket price, traffic and crowded quarters, is the 2014 Coachella lineup worth it? By dissecting the bands, the prices you might normally pay and the added pain and suffering getting to, through and home from the festival, we'll answer one of life's toughest questions for you.
When you break down the cost of the festival, you have to assume you'll pay $375 for entry, then either another $68 for camping or up to another $300-400 for lodging. All this together - plus food and drink - is something of a deal IF you happen to be a fan of most of the acts coming through and plan to see them all. Although the lineup is impressive, it tastes a bit overdone and could probably stand for some more classic rock 'n' roll. Fans of electronica and solo songstresses will be pleased, but if you were born before 1980 and came to get nostalgic, you might be a tad resentful.
![Music Coachella, outkast]()
Having a look at the best of the lineup, decide if you can find ten - give or take - acts you're excited to see. Otherwise, the traffic, tickets and bartering weed for water might not be worth heat exhaustion in the middle of the desert. Let's get into it, shall we?
Outkast
Is it time to party like it's 1999 again? Fatboy Slim and Outkast returning as two headliners for the festival is a little lackluster but does provide some excitement. It would be wrong to say Andre 3000 and Big Boi won't be welcomed with open, weed-toting arms for the first time in seven years, but those are somewhat small potatoes for one of the country's biggest festivals. Expect a live band and hopefully some guest appearances, but this pales in comparison to Prince, Paul and some of the other headliners of Coachella's past.
Skrillex & Girl Talk
Drugs and loud noise. Drugs and loud noise. That's what the kids love. These two acts alone are enough to drop all the panties of Southern California, so don't expect to get the best standing spot in the house. Keep in mind, though, that there's likely no other place you'll get to see these two acts in one weekend in California's lovely early summertime weather.
![2011 Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival, arcade fire]()
Muse & Arcade Fire
These bands come in with a certain energy that could carry the festival in terms of rock 'n roll, albeit it's not what the old fogies were hoping for, but it's still pretty impressive. We could sit around all day and talk about who the festival could have gotten, or we could sack up and be happy they managed to get these acts, even though it feels like a repeat of previous festivals. Oh wait, it is. They were there in 2010 and 2011. Well, welcome back. Let's get somebody new (but old) next year. Is Led Zeppelin free?
The Replacements & Queens of the Stone Age
Bringing old bands back from the dead is Coachella's trademark move, but why The Replacements when they could have gotten Pearl Jam in promotion of their new record Lightning Bolt? The Replacements are all right, but they're like a poor man's '90s grunge/alt-rock band.
Queens of the Stone Age, however, will likely blow the doors off the joint while they drop a few new live ones on the kids from their latest album. Could the festival have done a smidge better? Maybe, but getting a classic dirty rock band to play your festival is probably a chore, not to mention a butt-ton of cash.
Beck & Pharrell
![pharrell live, coachella 2014]()
If you were going to catch the best in singer/songwriters, Beck would clearly be one of the best answers, unless Jeff Buckley's hologram is planning an appearance. Since Beck's new album Morning Phase will drop in late February, the timing couldn't be better to get out to see him.
And Pharrell Williams is nothing if not the black Beck, small and charismatic in a unique way for the genre he's in. They're both like little stuffed animals you want to squeeze and make music come out.
Beady Eye & Broken Bells
Here's a pleasantly surprising name on the list, Beady Eye, which is essentially Oasis sans Noel Gallagher in the U.S. for the first time in years, and it's their only current North American tour date thus far in support of their second newly released album BE. We should be so lucky.
Additionally, with a sophomore album out mid-January, Broken Bells is the best/only worthy alternative to having The Shins show up, so this will be a nice treat for people who like good music. While we're on the topic, anybody who doesn't know these bands should be put down.
Foster the People, Empire of the Sun & Grouplove
The middle-fame bands of the moment that you could probably see for 25 bucks each will guest the stage this summer to pull up the weight for the lack of big rock names. With bands like The Killers, Pearl Jam and Jack Johnson on the road with new records, it's a letdown they didn't make the bill, but expect some quality new music from these semi-new bands of the moment, especially Grouplove.
MGMT, The Knife & Sleigh Bells
MGMT has earned their spot in almost any festival as they continue to promote their latest album, so expect them to go for all the wildness of the festival.
But who the fuck is The Knife and why are they headlining? It's just another electro-pop duo, maybe a bit overdone when the festival already has the biggest acts set to appear. In addition to Sleigh Bells, the electric pop daisies will be over the hill, but Coachella is starting to show a large move away from rock with the introduction of so much noise.
![lorde live, lorde coachella 2014]()
Lorde & Lana del Rey
They're sexy gals with a little groove, but is Coachella the right forum for these lovely ladies? Why not! Every girl and gay man in the desert will be tickled every shade of the rainbow when they get to see both of these talented women perform their sets. It's a refreshing sidestep for the festival as it brings in a little bit of everybody, along with their big hats.
Conclusion
All in all, it seems like Coachella 2014 is packing enough punch to draw in the crowds, as it may lack incredibly astounding acts, but it provides just what a good festival should -- quality bands who are current, strong and can entertain a crowd with their music alone. Yes, the traffic and cost can be a bitch, but that's all part of the experience.
So in our expert opinion, it will be worth the trip to take your Coachella tickets, pack up the car with your friends, and go on a musical weekend road trip. The festival is sold out, so if you don't have tickets and this article has convinced you you need them, you'll probably have to overpay a stranger, steal from a friend or, as a last resort, give handies to the first guy who offers you a spare pass. Still worth it.
When you break down the cost of the festival, you have to assume you'll pay $375 for entry, then either another $68 for camping or up to another $300-400 for lodging. All this together - plus food and drink - is something of a deal IF you happen to be a fan of most of the acts coming through and plan to see them all. Although the lineup is impressive, it tastes a bit overdone and could probably stand for some more classic rock 'n' roll. Fans of electronica and solo songstresses will be pleased, but if you were born before 1980 and came to get nostalgic, you might be a tad resentful.
Having a look at the best of the lineup, decide if you can find ten - give or take - acts you're excited to see. Otherwise, the traffic, tickets and bartering weed for water might not be worth heat exhaustion in the middle of the desert. Let's get into it, shall we?
Outkast
Is it time to party like it's 1999 again? Fatboy Slim and Outkast returning as two headliners for the festival is a little lackluster but does provide some excitement. It would be wrong to say Andre 3000 and Big Boi won't be welcomed with open, weed-toting arms for the first time in seven years, but those are somewhat small potatoes for one of the country's biggest festivals. Expect a live band and hopefully some guest appearances, but this pales in comparison to Prince, Paul and some of the other headliners of Coachella's past.
Skrillex & Girl Talk
Drugs and loud noise. Drugs and loud noise. That's what the kids love. These two acts alone are enough to drop all the panties of Southern California, so don't expect to get the best standing spot in the house. Keep in mind, though, that there's likely no other place you'll get to see these two acts in one weekend in California's lovely early summertime weather.
Muse & Arcade Fire
These bands come in with a certain energy that could carry the festival in terms of rock 'n roll, albeit it's not what the old fogies were hoping for, but it's still pretty impressive. We could sit around all day and talk about who the festival could have gotten, or we could sack up and be happy they managed to get these acts, even though it feels like a repeat of previous festivals. Oh wait, it is. They were there in 2010 and 2011. Well, welcome back. Let's get somebody new (but old) next year. Is Led Zeppelin free?
The Replacements & Queens of the Stone Age
Bringing old bands back from the dead is Coachella's trademark move, but why The Replacements when they could have gotten Pearl Jam in promotion of their new record Lightning Bolt? The Replacements are all right, but they're like a poor man's '90s grunge/alt-rock band.
Queens of the Stone Age, however, will likely blow the doors off the joint while they drop a few new live ones on the kids from their latest album. Could the festival have done a smidge better? Maybe, but getting a classic dirty rock band to play your festival is probably a chore, not to mention a butt-ton of cash.
Beck & Pharrell
If you were going to catch the best in singer/songwriters, Beck would clearly be one of the best answers, unless Jeff Buckley's hologram is planning an appearance. Since Beck's new album Morning Phase will drop in late February, the timing couldn't be better to get out to see him.
And Pharrell Williams is nothing if not the black Beck, small and charismatic in a unique way for the genre he's in. They're both like little stuffed animals you want to squeeze and make music come out.
Beady Eye & Broken Bells
Here's a pleasantly surprising name on the list, Beady Eye, which is essentially Oasis sans Noel Gallagher in the U.S. for the first time in years, and it's their only current North American tour date thus far in support of their second newly released album BE. We should be so lucky.
Additionally, with a sophomore album out mid-January, Broken Bells is the best/only worthy alternative to having The Shins show up, so this will be a nice treat for people who like good music. While we're on the topic, anybody who doesn't know these bands should be put down.
Foster the People, Empire of the Sun & Grouplove
The middle-fame bands of the moment that you could probably see for 25 bucks each will guest the stage this summer to pull up the weight for the lack of big rock names. With bands like The Killers, Pearl Jam and Jack Johnson on the road with new records, it's a letdown they didn't make the bill, but expect some quality new music from these semi-new bands of the moment, especially Grouplove.
MGMT, The Knife & Sleigh Bells
MGMT has earned their spot in almost any festival as they continue to promote their latest album, so expect them to go for all the wildness of the festival.
But who the fuck is The Knife and why are they headlining? It's just another electro-pop duo, maybe a bit overdone when the festival already has the biggest acts set to appear. In addition to Sleigh Bells, the electric pop daisies will be over the hill, but Coachella is starting to show a large move away from rock with the introduction of so much noise.
Lorde & Lana del Rey
They're sexy gals with a little groove, but is Coachella the right forum for these lovely ladies? Why not! Every girl and gay man in the desert will be tickled every shade of the rainbow when they get to see both of these talented women perform their sets. It's a refreshing sidestep for the festival as it brings in a little bit of everybody, along with their big hats.
Conclusion
All in all, it seems like Coachella 2014 is packing enough punch to draw in the crowds, as it may lack incredibly astounding acts, but it provides just what a good festival should -- quality bands who are current, strong and can entertain a crowd with their music alone. Yes, the traffic and cost can be a bitch, but that's all part of the experience.
So in our expert opinion, it will be worth the trip to take your Coachella tickets, pack up the car with your friends, and go on a musical weekend road trip. The festival is sold out, so if you don't have tickets and this article has convinced you you need them, you'll probably have to overpay a stranger, steal from a friend or, as a last resort, give handies to the first guy who offers you a spare pass. Still worth it.
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Today in Twitter Typos: "Hippocrates"
Apparently all of the people who hate hypocrites also hate dictionaries. Let's take a look at all of the angry people who are mad at "hippocrates."
![hippocrates, hypocrites, typo, twitter]()
And thank you to the always hilarious Frogman, who provided this photo at the bottom of this string of twitter typos...
![hippocrates, hypocrites, typo, twitter]()
More funny Twitter typos:
Twitter typos: "dognuts
Twitter typos: "colon"
Twitter typos: "raper"
And thank you to the always hilarious Frogman, who provided this photo at the bottom of this string of twitter typos...
More funny Twitter typos:
Twitter typos: "dognuts
Twitter typos: "colon"
Twitter typos: "raper"
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The Weirdest Bras in the World
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Hit Songs That Were Stolen
Editors Note: There are a lot of videos on this page. Give it a moment to load. It'll be worth it.
Crafting a hit song takes skill, dedication, effort, and a lot of hard work. That's why so many people just steal someone else's tune and hope nobody notices. Artists from George Harrison to Led Zeppelin have filched from older or less popular acts, and in some cases, gotten away with minimum fuss - save for the occasional multi-million dollar lawsuit. Here are ten of the worst offenders.
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Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images/Wikimedia Commons
METALLICA VS. EXCEL
"Enter Sandman" and "Tapping the Emotional Void"
The members of Californian punk-metal outfit Excel were always happy to support and collaborate with fellow LA bands, but after the release of Metallica's sound-a-like smash hit "Enter Sandman" they were a little put out. The songs were so similar that the LA Times actually ran a story about it, interviewing Excel lead singer and long-time Metallica fan (he even stood in line for the midnight release of the Metallica album) to basically ask the question "Are you guys going to sue or what?" The band eventually decided a lawsuit would be long, painful, and not guaranteed to succeed, which turned out to be true after they unsuccessfully tried suing in 2003.
![]()
Wikimedia Commons
THE DOORS VS. THE KINKS
"Hello, I Love You" and "All Day, And All Of The Night"
Take the beginning of the Kinks' number-two UK hit "All Day, And All Of The Night," slow it down, fuzz it up, and you've got the Doors' number-one US hit "Hello, I Love You." At least, that's what Kinks' frontman Ray Davies says. According to Doors guitarist Robby Krieger the song was inspired by Cream's "Sunshine of Your Love" and the lyrics based on a crush Jim Morrison had on a black woman from Venice Beach. That at least explains the cringeworthy lyric "Do you hope to pluck this dusty jewel?" but it wasn't enough for British copyright court, so UK royalties for the song go to Davies.
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Joe Fox/WireImage.com/Ethan Miller/Getty Images
COLDPLAY VS. JOE SATRIANI
"Viva la Vida" and "If I Could Fly"
Probably the most recent case of accused musical plagiarism, the dispute between official mall soundtrack artists, Coldplay and elite strum dumpster, Joe Satriani has pitted obnoxious tweens against aging guitar fetishists in some of the most annoying YouTube comment disputes of all time. Unfortunately for Satriani, the melodies were not just similar to each other, but similar enough for other musicians to claim the same thing-Yusuf Islam (formerly Cat Stevens) argued that both songs were based on a bit from his 18-minute "Foreigner Suite." The suit was eventually settled out of court, presumably because nobody was able to retain their sanity after listening to all three songs over and over again for days at a time.
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John Shearer/WireImage.com
RADIOHEAD VS. THE HOLLIES
"Creep" and "The Air That I Breathe"
It may be hard for laymen to hear the similarities between adult-contemporary seventies ballad "The Air That I Breathe" and Radiohead's first radio hit, but that's why the Hollies didn't hire laymen to bring Radiohead to court. Musicologists and copyright lawyers found in favor of the Hollies based on the two songs' chord progression and a melody in the bridge, and while it's never been disclosed as to how much money Hollies' songwriters Albert Hammond and Mike Hazlewood received, they did get credited for the song in all further releases of Pablo Honey. The court did not see fit to address the fact that while Thom Yorke is deliberately pretending to sound like a schmuck, the Hollies manage to sound pathetic entirely by accident.
![]()
Wikimedia Commons
RAY PARKER JR. VS. HUEY LEWIS
"Ghostbusters Theme" and "I Want A New Drug"
When Columbia Pictures approached Huey Lewis to write the theme for "Ghostbusters" he had to decline, as he was already busy with the soundtracks for "Back to the Future" and, unwittingly, "American Psycho." That meant when famous session guitarist Ray Parker Jr. was asked to provide a theme song he only had a few days to come up with a fully-realized product that ended up featuring a riff and bassline very similar to Lewis' hit single of the last year (which was itself oddly similar to M's "Pop Muzik" from 1979). The ensuing lawsuit was settled out of court, and Huey Lewis went on to a career of not being that one guy from "Die Hard" even though everybody thought he was. Ironically, when Lewis mentioned that he settled the case for cash in a VH1 special, Parker Jr. and Columbia successfully countersued for breach of confidentiality.
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Wikimedia Commons/LastFM
JOHNNY CASH VS. GORDON JENKINS
"Folsom Prison Blues" and "Crescent City Blues"
Gordon Jenkins was a popular composer for dozens of pop singers and the musical director for Decca Records, which might be why he was given the chance to release an odd concept album of seven short musical-style radio plays titled Seven Dreams. The record was a surprise hit, particularly the bluesy torch song "Crescent City Blues" sung by Jenkins' wife Beverly Mahr. USAF Staff Sgt. Johnny Cash liked "Crescent City Blues" so much that he played a faster, riffier version around Germany with his airbase band the Landsberg Barbarians. When Cash signed on with Sun Records and expressed concerns about crediting Jenkins and Mahr for "Folsom Prison Blues," label founder Sam Philips assured him that there would be no trouble, legal or otherwise. Fifteen years later, Cash ended up paying off a $75,000 lawsuit.
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Wikimedia Commons
MICHAEL BOLTON VS. THE ISLEY BROTHERS
"Love is a Wonderful Thing" and "Love is a Wonderful Thing"
If you wanted to listen to some classic soul in 1991, but didn't want to experience any emotion or sensation other than mild drowsiness, you probably owned Michael Bolton's megahit album Time, Love & Tenderness. Despite critical revulsion, the album produced four Top 40 singles, including the syrupy diet-gospel track "Love is a Wonderful Thing," which happened to share a title with a much snappier song by legendary R&B group The Isley Brothers. Subsequent investigation and litigation concluded that his hit single also "shared" enough similarities to the earlier song that the Bros. Isley were entitled to all the profits from the single and a whopping 28% of the album profits. Despite Bolton's insistence that he had never heard that particular Isley Brothers song, he and Sony Music had to cut them a check for some $5.4 million, just short of what Michael Bolton spent on hair care every month.
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Ron Galella, Ltd/WireImage/Wikimedia Commons
VANILLA ICE VS. QUEEN AND DAVID BOWIE
"Ice Ice Baby" and "Under Pressure"
"Ice Ice Baby" was the first hip hop single to top the Billboard charts, a very good reason not to trust Billboard to evaluate hip hop. It was also the first time the rest of the music world had to deal with the legal issues around sampling, since instead of just looping some obscure Kraftwerk or Detroit techno, Vanilla "My Real Name, Robert Van Winkle, Is Actually More Embarrassing" Ice used the opening riff from the hugely famous Queen/Bowie collaboration "Under Pressure." Ice initially claimed that the addition of a single extra beat made his sample different from Queen's bassline, but folded quickly under (legal) pressure, paying off and crediting the original musicians. A later version of the song appeared on Winkle's 1998 rap-metal album Hard to Swallow, but since nobody in the world would ever want to take credit for Vanilla Ice's rap-metal career it encountered no legal difficulties.
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Wikimedia Commons/Zuke Tunes
LED ZEPPELIN VS. JAKE HOLMES
"Dazed and Confused" and "Dazed and Confused"
Listing every single instance of accused or substantiated plagiarism by Led Zeppelin (and Jimmy Page in particular) would take a dozen articles and get me written out of my dad's will, so let's focus on one particularly grievous offense. Obscure folk-rocker Jake Holmes was critically well-regarded but chronically short of hits, but his raw, emotional "Dazed and Confused" was getting him work on the Greenwich Village club circuit back in the summer of '67. Also on the circuit was a young Jimmy Page, lead guitarist for the Yardbirds (after they had kicked those losers Jeff Beck and Eric Clapton to the curb) who played many of the same venues and at one point apparently opened for Holmes or vice versa. Less than a year later the Yardbirds were playing the same song on French television, credited as "by Jake Holmes arr. Yardbirds." And after Page left the Yardbirds, it showed up on Zep's debut album with sole credit to Jimmy Page. Holmes eventually left folk rock for jingle writing (he's responsible for the Army's "Be All You Can Be" campaign, among other things), but decided to sue in 2010 to at least try and get his contribution recognized.
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Wikimedia Commons
GEORGE HARRISON VS. THE CHIFFONS
"My Sweet Lord" and "He's So Fine"
Bronx-based girl group the Chiffons were best-known for hits like "One Fine Day" and "Will You (Still) Love Me Tomorrow," but it was their first single "He's So Fine" that brought them to national attention. It also apparently brought them to the attention of Beatles guitarist George Harrison, who apparently liked the song so much that his new-age spiritual "My Sweet Lord" ended up sharing the refrain and melody. After Harrison's single smashed international charts, "He's So Fine" owners Bright Tunes Music came down on George like a ton of bricks, leading to the most expensive and hard-fought infringement battle in music history. Harrison insisted that if anything he had been inspired by the Edwin Hawkins Singers' "Oh Happy Day," but after country musician Jody Miller covered "He's So Fine" with Harrison-style slide guitars, the judge found Harrison guilty of "unconscious plagiarism" and ordered him to cut a check for $587,000.
Crafting a hit song takes skill, dedication, effort, and a lot of hard work. That's why so many people just steal someone else's tune and hope nobody notices. Artists from George Harrison to Led Zeppelin have filched from older or less popular acts, and in some cases, gotten away with minimum fuss - save for the occasional multi-million dollar lawsuit. Here are ten of the worst offenders.
Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images/Wikimedia Commons
METALLICA VS. EXCEL
"Enter Sandman" and "Tapping the Emotional Void"
The members of Californian punk-metal outfit Excel were always happy to support and collaborate with fellow LA bands, but after the release of Metallica's sound-a-like smash hit "Enter Sandman" they were a little put out. The songs were so similar that the LA Times actually ran a story about it, interviewing Excel lead singer and long-time Metallica fan (he even stood in line for the midnight release of the Metallica album) to basically ask the question "Are you guys going to sue or what?" The band eventually decided a lawsuit would be long, painful, and not guaranteed to succeed, which turned out to be true after they unsuccessfully tried suing in 2003.
Wikimedia Commons
THE DOORS VS. THE KINKS
"Hello, I Love You" and "All Day, And All Of The Night"
Take the beginning of the Kinks' number-two UK hit "All Day, And All Of The Night," slow it down, fuzz it up, and you've got the Doors' number-one US hit "Hello, I Love You." At least, that's what Kinks' frontman Ray Davies says. According to Doors guitarist Robby Krieger the song was inspired by Cream's "Sunshine of Your Love" and the lyrics based on a crush Jim Morrison had on a black woman from Venice Beach. That at least explains the cringeworthy lyric "Do you hope to pluck this dusty jewel?" but it wasn't enough for British copyright court, so UK royalties for the song go to Davies.
Joe Fox/WireImage.com/Ethan Miller/Getty Images
COLDPLAY VS. JOE SATRIANI
"Viva la Vida" and "If I Could Fly"
Probably the most recent case of accused musical plagiarism, the dispute between official mall soundtrack artists, Coldplay and elite strum dumpster, Joe Satriani has pitted obnoxious tweens against aging guitar fetishists in some of the most annoying YouTube comment disputes of all time. Unfortunately for Satriani, the melodies were not just similar to each other, but similar enough for other musicians to claim the same thing-Yusuf Islam (formerly Cat Stevens) argued that both songs were based on a bit from his 18-minute "Foreigner Suite." The suit was eventually settled out of court, presumably because nobody was able to retain their sanity after listening to all three songs over and over again for days at a time.
John Shearer/WireImage.com
RADIOHEAD VS. THE HOLLIES
"Creep" and "The Air That I Breathe"
It may be hard for laymen to hear the similarities between adult-contemporary seventies ballad "The Air That I Breathe" and Radiohead's first radio hit, but that's why the Hollies didn't hire laymen to bring Radiohead to court. Musicologists and copyright lawyers found in favor of the Hollies based on the two songs' chord progression and a melody in the bridge, and while it's never been disclosed as to how much money Hollies' songwriters Albert Hammond and Mike Hazlewood received, they did get credited for the song in all further releases of Pablo Honey. The court did not see fit to address the fact that while Thom Yorke is deliberately pretending to sound like a schmuck, the Hollies manage to sound pathetic entirely by accident.
Wikimedia Commons
RAY PARKER JR. VS. HUEY LEWIS
"Ghostbusters Theme" and "I Want A New Drug"
When Columbia Pictures approached Huey Lewis to write the theme for "Ghostbusters" he had to decline, as he was already busy with the soundtracks for "Back to the Future" and, unwittingly, "American Psycho." That meant when famous session guitarist Ray Parker Jr. was asked to provide a theme song he only had a few days to come up with a fully-realized product that ended up featuring a riff and bassline very similar to Lewis' hit single of the last year (which was itself oddly similar to M's "Pop Muzik" from 1979). The ensuing lawsuit was settled out of court, and Huey Lewis went on to a career of not being that one guy from "Die Hard" even though everybody thought he was. Ironically, when Lewis mentioned that he settled the case for cash in a VH1 special, Parker Jr. and Columbia successfully countersued for breach of confidentiality.
Wikimedia Commons/LastFM
JOHNNY CASH VS. GORDON JENKINS
"Folsom Prison Blues" and "Crescent City Blues"
Gordon Jenkins was a popular composer for dozens of pop singers and the musical director for Decca Records, which might be why he was given the chance to release an odd concept album of seven short musical-style radio plays titled Seven Dreams. The record was a surprise hit, particularly the bluesy torch song "Crescent City Blues" sung by Jenkins' wife Beverly Mahr. USAF Staff Sgt. Johnny Cash liked "Crescent City Blues" so much that he played a faster, riffier version around Germany with his airbase band the Landsberg Barbarians. When Cash signed on with Sun Records and expressed concerns about crediting Jenkins and Mahr for "Folsom Prison Blues," label founder Sam Philips assured him that there would be no trouble, legal or otherwise. Fifteen years later, Cash ended up paying off a $75,000 lawsuit.
Wikimedia Commons
MICHAEL BOLTON VS. THE ISLEY BROTHERS
"Love is a Wonderful Thing" and "Love is a Wonderful Thing"
If you wanted to listen to some classic soul in 1991, but didn't want to experience any emotion or sensation other than mild drowsiness, you probably owned Michael Bolton's megahit album Time, Love & Tenderness. Despite critical revulsion, the album produced four Top 40 singles, including the syrupy diet-gospel track "Love is a Wonderful Thing," which happened to share a title with a much snappier song by legendary R&B group The Isley Brothers. Subsequent investigation and litigation concluded that his hit single also "shared" enough similarities to the earlier song that the Bros. Isley were entitled to all the profits from the single and a whopping 28% of the album profits. Despite Bolton's insistence that he had never heard that particular Isley Brothers song, he and Sony Music had to cut them a check for some $5.4 million, just short of what Michael Bolton spent on hair care every month.
Ron Galella, Ltd/WireImage/Wikimedia Commons
VANILLA ICE VS. QUEEN AND DAVID BOWIE
"Ice Ice Baby" and "Under Pressure"
"Ice Ice Baby" was the first hip hop single to top the Billboard charts, a very good reason not to trust Billboard to evaluate hip hop. It was also the first time the rest of the music world had to deal with the legal issues around sampling, since instead of just looping some obscure Kraftwerk or Detroit techno, Vanilla "My Real Name, Robert Van Winkle, Is Actually More Embarrassing" Ice used the opening riff from the hugely famous Queen/Bowie collaboration "Under Pressure." Ice initially claimed that the addition of a single extra beat made his sample different from Queen's bassline, but folded quickly under (legal) pressure, paying off and crediting the original musicians. A later version of the song appeared on Winkle's 1998 rap-metal album Hard to Swallow, but since nobody in the world would ever want to take credit for Vanilla Ice's rap-metal career it encountered no legal difficulties.
Wikimedia Commons/Zuke Tunes
LED ZEPPELIN VS. JAKE HOLMES
"Dazed and Confused" and "Dazed and Confused"
Listing every single instance of accused or substantiated plagiarism by Led Zeppelin (and Jimmy Page in particular) would take a dozen articles and get me written out of my dad's will, so let's focus on one particularly grievous offense. Obscure folk-rocker Jake Holmes was critically well-regarded but chronically short of hits, but his raw, emotional "Dazed and Confused" was getting him work on the Greenwich Village club circuit back in the summer of '67. Also on the circuit was a young Jimmy Page, lead guitarist for the Yardbirds (after they had kicked those losers Jeff Beck and Eric Clapton to the curb) who played many of the same venues and at one point apparently opened for Holmes or vice versa. Less than a year later the Yardbirds were playing the same song on French television, credited as "by Jake Holmes arr. Yardbirds." And after Page left the Yardbirds, it showed up on Zep's debut album with sole credit to Jimmy Page. Holmes eventually left folk rock for jingle writing (he's responsible for the Army's "Be All You Can Be" campaign, among other things), but decided to sue in 2010 to at least try and get his contribution recognized.
Wikimedia Commons
GEORGE HARRISON VS. THE CHIFFONS
"My Sweet Lord" and "He's So Fine"
Bronx-based girl group the Chiffons were best-known for hits like "One Fine Day" and "Will You (Still) Love Me Tomorrow," but it was their first single "He's So Fine" that brought them to national attention. It also apparently brought them to the attention of Beatles guitarist George Harrison, who apparently liked the song so much that his new-age spiritual "My Sweet Lord" ended up sharing the refrain and melody. After Harrison's single smashed international charts, "He's So Fine" owners Bright Tunes Music came down on George like a ton of bricks, leading to the most expensive and hard-fought infringement battle in music history. Harrison insisted that if anything he had been inspired by the Edwin Hawkins Singers' "Oh Happy Day," but after country musician Jody Miller covered "He's So Fine" with Harrison-style slide guitars, the judge found Harrison guilty of "unconscious plagiarism" and ordered him to cut a check for $587,000.
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This Cello Cover of "Thunderstruck" Rocks Way Harder Than We Expected
Everyone loves the AC/DC song "Thunderstruck." (If you don't, get off this site right now.) Between the tantalizingly long buildup, that devastating chord drop, the screaming/singing of Brian Johnson -- each listen brings a fresh set of goosebumps.
Now the guys behind the viral cello duo 2CHELLOS have taken the song in a totally new direction. You'd think it's impossible to cover such a hard rock song with cellos. You'd be wrong. These guys totally kill it from the start. And while most of the song is recognizable, they also throw a couple of flourishes into the mix. You have never heard AC/DC like this before. And you're really going to like it.
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Two New York Men Busted for Sexually Abusing Cows
Maybe we should all stop being so hard on people who spend their entire day inside playing video games. I mean, hey, at least they're not outside molesting farm animals.
New York State Police in Herkimer County have arrested two men for allegedly trying to film each other having sex with cows. I repeat, these two men were arrested after attempting to hump cows:
![men arrested sexually abusing cows]()
Even more of an "udder" disgrace? Their actions resulted in just a misdemeanor sexual misconduct charge.
According to police, a farmer noticed his cows were acting abnormal and not producing as much milk as usual, so he set up surveillance cameras to see if he could figure out why. But instead of finding a wolf or coyote spooking his cows, he found Michael Jones and Reid Fontaine sexually abusing them.
Upon their arrest, Jones admitted to agreeing to film Fontaine attempting to have sex with the cows, which I think is the premise of Jackass 4.
No word as to whether or not the farmer was thankful that he doesn't own sheep, as well.
(via Huffington Post)
Apparently, sex with humans is out for 2014: The Weirdest Objects People Have Had Sex With
New York State Police in Herkimer County have arrested two men for allegedly trying to film each other having sex with cows. I repeat, these two men were arrested after attempting to hump cows:
Even more of an "udder" disgrace? Their actions resulted in just a misdemeanor sexual misconduct charge.
According to police, a farmer noticed his cows were acting abnormal and not producing as much milk as usual, so he set up surveillance cameras to see if he could figure out why. But instead of finding a wolf or coyote spooking his cows, he found Michael Jones and Reid Fontaine sexually abusing them.
Upon their arrest, Jones admitted to agreeing to film Fontaine attempting to have sex with the cows, which I think is the premise of Jackass 4.
No word as to whether or not the farmer was thankful that he doesn't own sheep, as well.
(via Huffington Post)
Apparently, sex with humans is out for 2014: The Weirdest Objects People Have Had Sex With
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Guy Tries Paying for Applebee's Dinner With $1 Trillion Bill
And he might have gotten away with it if he would have ordered 77 billion nine-ounce sirloins.
Police in South Carolina say a Valentine's Day dinner at Applebee's went wrong, not because a man took his date to![michael williams one trillion dollar bill applebee's]()
Applebee's for Valentine's Day, but instead because he tried to pay for his meal with a $1 trillion bill after his debit card was denied.
53-year-old Michael Williams was eventually arrested, but not for trying to pass off the phony cash. Police instead nabbed him for an unrelated contempt of court case and say their investigation into the matter is still pending.
Odds are if Williams was taking his date to Applebee's for Valentine's Day, then he was probably making her order from the "2 For $20" menu. We're not sure what Williams was expecting for change, like the entire store for instance, or if he would have settled for just a couple million dollars for the time being.
(via New York Daily News)
Better late than never: The Funniest, Crudest Valentine's Day Cards You Will Ever Read
Police in South Carolina say a Valentine's Day dinner at Applebee's went wrong, not because a man took his date to
Applebee's for Valentine's Day, but instead because he tried to pay for his meal with a $1 trillion bill after his debit card was denied.53-year-old Michael Williams was eventually arrested, but not for trying to pass off the phony cash. Police instead nabbed him for an unrelated contempt of court case and say their investigation into the matter is still pending.
Odds are if Williams was taking his date to Applebee's for Valentine's Day, then he was probably making her order from the "2 For $20" menu. We're not sure what Williams was expecting for change, like the entire store for instance, or if he would have settled for just a couple million dollars for the time being.
(via New York Daily News)
Better late than never: The Funniest, Crudest Valentine's Day Cards You Will Ever Read
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Cardinals Pitcher's Twitter Favorites Are All Hardcore Porn Pics
St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Carlos Martinez has one hell of fastball. And according to his Twitter page, he also has one hell of a porn addiction.
20,181 people - well, what the hell - 20,182 people now follow Martinez at his @Tsunamy27 handle. At first glance, it's simply a page filled with pictures of Martinez pitching, spring training, teammates in other leagues, and newspaper clippings.
![carlos martinez twitter porn]()
But the guys at Deadspin found that a simple click on his favorites tab opens up a world of hardcore porn pics that make Asa Akira look like a virgin.
To say that clicking on Martinez's favorites tab is kind of NSFW would be a bigger understatement than saying Charlie Sheen did drugs once.
Among posts that share his excitement for getting the first start of spring training for the Cardinals as well as pictures from his childhood, followers will also see nudie pics from fulgura, 69x69, Naughty Boy, and TEENS6969.
Well, at least they used to be able to. It looks like the Cardinals organization has already reached out to Martinez and asked him to clean it up. Too bad he doesn't play for the Marlins. They probably would have let that go a little longer just to see if it would help put people in the seats.
Thankfully, the guys at Deadspin created a video to show you what you missed (again, NSFW).
Well, now that you're in the mood: The Best Free Porn Sites
20,181 people - well, what the hell - 20,182 people now follow Martinez at his @Tsunamy27 handle. At first glance, it's simply a page filled with pictures of Martinez pitching, spring training, teammates in other leagues, and newspaper clippings.
But the guys at Deadspin found that a simple click on his favorites tab opens up a world of hardcore porn pics that make Asa Akira look like a virgin.
To say that clicking on Martinez's favorites tab is kind of NSFW would be a bigger understatement than saying Charlie Sheen did drugs once.
Among posts that share his excitement for getting the first start of spring training for the Cardinals as well as pictures from his childhood, followers will also see nudie pics from fulgura, 69x69, Naughty Boy, and TEENS6969.
Well, at least they used to be able to. It looks like the Cardinals organization has already reached out to Martinez and asked him to clean it up. Too bad he doesn't play for the Marlins. They probably would have let that go a little longer just to see if it would help put people in the seats.
Thankfully, the guys at Deadspin created a video to show you what you missed (again, NSFW).
Well, now that you're in the mood: The Best Free Porn Sites
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