This Guy Can Play 30 Rockin' Songs on Guitar in 1 Minute
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Leanna Decker's Strutting Her Stuff Again for Playboy
Leanna Decker, Playboy's 2012 Cybergirl of the Year, may have been gone long enough for you to miss her, but she's back with Playboy in one of their sexy black and white videos, shot by photographer Jose Luis. Strutting in black lace lingerie, the color scheme is just what we need to go into the weekend, and Leanna is here to let us know she isn't going anywhere again. Thank goodness because we were starting to freak out a little. You can catch the Playboy South African issue for more Leanna in the February 2014 issue. How do you not have that subscription yet!?
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Here's What Human Barbie Valeria Lukyanova Looks Like Without Makeup
If you are not familiar, Valeria Lukyanova is a Moldavian-Ukrainian model who has become an Internet sensation because she looks like a real-life Barbie doll. She is reportedly not crazy about the comparison, though, and prefers to be called "Amatue." Yeah, it's all pretty weird. Anyway, she recently uploaded a photo of herself without all the Barbie makeup, and it's pretty amazing. Take a look at a few shots of the "Human Barbie" (yes, that's a real human being) and scroll to the bottom for the big reveal.
![Valeria Lukyanova, the human barbie]()
![Valeria Lukyanova, the human barbie]()
![Valeria Lukyanova, the human barbie]()
![Valeria Lukyanova, the human barbie]()
![Valeria Lukyanova, the human barbie]()
![Valeria Lukyanova, the human barbie without makeup]()
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A Close Look At What DJs Do These Days
DJs are easily some of the most anticipated acts of Coachella this weekend. But what is it that DJs actually do? You're usually stuck in the crowd and don't get to see things up close. Lucky for you, this video is making its way around the good ol' Internet. Let's take a look at what you're favorite electronic musicians are really doing up there.
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Emily Chave is Sexy Bartender of the Year
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Sharni Vinson is a Sexy Star About to Explode
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Today's Funniest Photos
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Florida Man So Fat Rescuers Cut Hole in His House to Save Him
Let's be honest. It sounds like anytime the "Bariatric Unit" responds to something taking place at your house, it's not to judge who won a game of checkers.
According to WPTV, a man in Palm Springs, Florida fell on Wednesday and was so obese that his rescuers had to cut an enormous hole in the back of the house to get him out of it. In fact, he was so damn fat that it warranted![bariatric unit rescues man by cutting hole in house]()
the assistance of a recently formed part of the Palm Beach County Fire Rescue called the "Bariatric Unit."
The special unit was created to assist and rescue people who weigh up to one thousand pounds, and there is even a truck that is specifically engineered to move people that large.
Mark Tenn, head of the unit, said that calls for their assistance have increased to more than once a month.
Friends of the man rescued on Wednesday said he was several hundred pounds overweight, but since they're friends, it probably means that's a pretty conservative estimate. They also said he would probably be upset about the hole they cut in his house, but it really was the only way to get him out.
It would have been funnier if he was on a scooter: Fat People on Scooters
According to WPTV, a man in Palm Springs, Florida fell on Wednesday and was so obese that his rescuers had to cut an enormous hole in the back of the house to get him out of it. In fact, he was so damn fat that it warranted
the assistance of a recently formed part of the Palm Beach County Fire Rescue called the "Bariatric Unit."The special unit was created to assist and rescue people who weigh up to one thousand pounds, and there is even a truck that is specifically engineered to move people that large.
Mark Tenn, head of the unit, said that calls for their assistance have increased to more than once a month.
Friends of the man rescued on Wednesday said he was several hundred pounds overweight, but since they're friends, it probably means that's a pretty conservative estimate. They also said he would probably be upset about the hole they cut in his house, but it really was the only way to get him out.
It would have been funnier if he was on a scooter: Fat People on Scooters
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Man Must Pay $5,001 to Coworker for Peeing in His Coffee
Chances are there is a coworker or two in your office that could use a little urine in their coffee as payback for the way they conduct their business. Then again, maybe you're that coworker.
But if you think the only harm that will come from it is a desk covered in vomit, think again.
![man must pay coworker $5,001 after peeing in his coffee]()
According to WTVR, a Virginia man who put urine in his coworker's pot of coffee five years ago was ordered to pay him $5,001 in damages. James Carroll Butler said he urinated in the coffee in hopes that Michael Utz would be the one who drank it, and he was apparently successful at that.
Butler, who worked at the Culpeper waste water treatment plant for 17 years, originally took a leak in a toilet like a good human being. But, he then scooped it out with a soda can and poured it in the coffee pot that Utz eventually used.
Utz was seeking $728,000 for "emotional distress," but the jury awarded him just $5,001, probably because it could have been way worse. I mean, he should actually feel rather fortunate that piss was the worst thing that found its way into his coffee mug. After all, Butler was working at a waste water treatment plant.
It would be interesting to see that concoction on this menu: If Coffee Shop Menu Boards Were Honest
But if you think the only harm that will come from it is a desk covered in vomit, think again.
According to WTVR, a Virginia man who put urine in his coworker's pot of coffee five years ago was ordered to pay him $5,001 in damages. James Carroll Butler said he urinated in the coffee in hopes that Michael Utz would be the one who drank it, and he was apparently successful at that.
Butler, who worked at the Culpeper waste water treatment plant for 17 years, originally took a leak in a toilet like a good human being. But, he then scooped it out with a soda can and poured it in the coffee pot that Utz eventually used.
Utz was seeking $728,000 for "emotional distress," but the jury awarded him just $5,001, probably because it could have been way worse. I mean, he should actually feel rather fortunate that piss was the worst thing that found its way into his coffee mug. After all, Butler was working at a waste water treatment plant.
It would be interesting to see that concoction on this menu: If Coffee Shop Menu Boards Were Honest
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Somebody Threw a Shoe at Hillary Clinton Yesterday
Former First Lady and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was in Las Vegas yesterday giving a speech about solid waste management at a convention inside the Mandalay Bay resort.
But with the way she handled a woman throwing a shoe at her, she easily could have done a five-minute set at Brad Garrett's Comedy Club inside the MGM Grand, as well.
According to Fox News, Clinton continued to receive applause and laughter as well as a standing ovation as she threw out zingers like "My goodness, I didn't know solid waste management was so controversial," and "Thank goodness she didn't play softball like I did."
The middle-aged blonde woman who threw the shoe was taken into federal custody, and a U.S. Secret Service agent in Las Vegas said that she would face criminal charges, although he wasn't quite sure yet what those charges would be.
Perhaps one of them will be stealing a scene from Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery:
Maybe the woman who threw the shoe can use this defense: Pimp Sues Nike for Not Warning Him Their Shoes are Dangerous When Used to Assault People
But with the way she handled a woman throwing a shoe at her, she easily could have done a five-minute set at Brad Garrett's Comedy Club inside the MGM Grand, as well.
According to Fox News, Clinton continued to receive applause and laughter as well as a standing ovation as she threw out zingers like "My goodness, I didn't know solid waste management was so controversial," and "Thank goodness she didn't play softball like I did."
The middle-aged blonde woman who threw the shoe was taken into federal custody, and a U.S. Secret Service agent in Las Vegas said that she would face criminal charges, although he wasn't quite sure yet what those charges would be.
Perhaps one of them will be stealing a scene from Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery:
Maybe the woman who threw the shoe can use this defense: Pimp Sues Nike for Not Warning Him Their Shoes are Dangerous When Used to Assault People
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The Worst Films of the Past 5 Oscar Winners for Best Actor/Actress
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20 Guys Reveal The Creepiest Thing Said To Them By A Girl
We've all had that "How I Met Your Mother" moment where you have to weigh out how hot a girl is compared to how insane she seems. Obviously not all girls are crazy, but odds are you'll run into a few throughout your life. A Reddit thread was put together for guys to discuss the creepiest thing a girl had ever said to them. Here are some of the most bizarre confessions:
1. Germ994
Wife and I were in town with our son visiting my parents when an old high school friend (she was only ever a friend) came by to meet my wife and two year old son. After we all sat and talked for a few hours and after what felt like a pretty normal night of company, we all got up to say good night and the friend hugged my wife goodbye then turned to me, grasped me very firmly into a hug, kissed me on the lips then whispered into my ear "Your son should have been ours. I love you!" Then turned like it was totally normal and waved goodbye to us and left. My wife didn't see or hear any of it and I never told her. She thinks the girl is a decent person and we'll never see her again.
2. Argle-Bargle
"You don't have to wear a condom, I'll just miscarry."
I wore a condom.
3. Johnsmcjohn
"Just so you know, I wrote your name on my leg with a boxcutter so I'll always have you near me."
4. Sc2RuinedMyLife
"Did you enjoy that dinner? I put my blood in it. Now part of me is inside of you."
Yes this actually happened. I thought she meant she put a lot of work into it, like "blood, sweat, and tears" and asked her...and she showed me the cut she made to bleed herself into the dinner.
5. Oskarvarg
So... A girl had a crush on me. One morning when I came home to my place there was a bag hanging on my front door. I bring it inside and see whats in it. I find a new set of pencils. There was also a spoon that you use to feed babies along with a bottle of baby food. A tiny pink hairclip I'd imagine a nine year old girl might wear. A three page letter telling me the letter was written by a polish girl who just moved into town. She called herself Tatyana D. and she wanted to meet new people in town. So she asked if I wished to bake "Dopplercookies" with here down by an abandoned warehouse at the docks (Yes, that is what she wrote).
Then as the letter progressed the text looked more and more as if someone wrote it while driving a bike. At the end of the letter it was more like random words. Later that same week someone tried to open my door in the middle of the night.
Another week passed and I got a visit at five in the morning from some staff from a home nearby where she apparently lived. They told me they found her sleeping in my bushes and she had run away every night for the last two weeks and that she was very ill at the time. They gave me a number to call "in case of an emergency." I did not sleep well that following month.
6. Kwantum0
"Your lips looked dry while you were sleeping, so I licked them for you."
7. We_are_the_Odd
Copied from an email I received from a stalker seven years ago: "When you and her have your baby, rest assured, I'll be the one that raises it."
8. Kiefighter
Had a girl request me to break into her apartment, make her hot chocolate in her kitchen, while she's scared in her bedroom and then come in and have sex.
9. MrLipton
I had a girl I once kissed at a party proceed to send me pictures of her crying, half naked and makeup smeared all over her face joker style.
She won't stop calling me or sending random pictures of herself with distressed or angry face. This has been going on for three months now.
10. Knumbknuts
"I masturbate in the women's room with those thick highlighters."
11. HandsomeDynamite
Was talking to a girl on the phone who at the time was fucked up on painkillers and started relating to me a story about how when she was 7 she pushed a girl into a pool and watched her drown. Her grandma came home, found out about it, and told her to tell the police it was an accident.
That should have been a warning sign right there.
12. TexasFight
I had to borrow a girls computer once for a group project in college. I got to the group meeting and there was a password. I called her and after 10 minutes she finally gave me the password, which was her first name and my last name
13. Jernon
I was on a study abroad trip to the middle of nowhere, Ireland, to study photography. Sitting down to lunch one day, a girl I was traveling with said, "I wish I could cut off all your hair and knit it into a sweater for me to wear. It would keep me warm." She said it while smiling in a friendly way, but there was intensity in her eyes. It made me uncomfortable.
14. Agoostaholic
I went to a football game with this girl. Afterwards, I went to meet her dad, which was already kind of weird. He said to her, "Is this the boy you've been talking about for the past 3 months?"
I had known the girl for 4 days
15. MB38
"Put on a condom, you don't know where I've been."
16. Dutchwank
When I was about 17 years old I worked at a cafeteria and some girls (11 and 13) where chasing me for weeks. They even waited in front of my door when I had to go to work to chase me all the way up there.
One day I was working and the cafeteria was full with people when the eleven year old girl said "when can I give you a blowjob", everyone instantly looked at me.
Uncomfortable isn't even the right word to describe my feelings at that moment.
17. Laggedreaction
"I want your meat tampon."
Had to explain to her how that was not a turn on.
18. OsamaBinPanda
I was having sex with a girl I knew and she starts shouting my best friends name... then the names of 3 other men I didn't know..... It creeped me out beyond belief so I told her I was done. She climbed off me, started pleasing herself and moaning her own name while glaring at me over her shoulder. We were on a lot of drugs and it was the worst night of my life. Haven't spoken to her since.
19. Variability
Making out with a girl I was seeing, lightly slide my hand up her chest, and as my hand is going to caress her cheek, she grabs it around her neck and forces me to choke her which is fine... she then proceeded to call out her brother's name...
20. Revenant10-15
I was over at her dorm room and, after we got done with our business, I spotted a bottle of my Cologne on her desk. I asked her about it, and she said she sprayed it around to make her room "smell like me."
Ok.
Next week. She gets into my car. Makes a big SNNNNIIIIFFFFFF sound, and says, "Oh, mmm, smells like YOU in here." She started masturbating. No shit. Enroute to Kroger.
Ok.
Few weeks later, at her dorm room, I decide to get a little nosy. I find the following: 1-Aforementioned bottle of cologne. 2-Two pairs of my dirty undies (not left by me.) 3-pair of my dirty socks (again, not left by me. And this freaked me out more than anything for some reason.) 4-Envelope with, what I can only assume to be (drumroll.....) my pubes in it.
Not ok.
I break up with her over ICQ (the good ol' days!) She informs me that she left a bag at my apartment. It's under my bed. In said bag is a bunch of completely random shit with K-mart tags still on it. It was obviously a plant, meant to force us to have an awkward post-breakup makeup reunion. Nay, says I.
Got my army buddy to drive me over to her dorm in his Ford Festiva. I saw her on the curb, waiting...crying. I launched that bag out the window and we took off as fast as that Festiva would go.
For those who will want to know: The cologne I was wearing was Old Spice.
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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets
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15 Irrefutable Excuses for Calling Out of Work
There are a million excuses in the world, but only so many people are going to believe them depending on the situation. Grandma getting run over by a reindeer just isn't going to cut it anymore, especially when it come to getting out of work. What you need are a batch of irrefutable excuses in your arsenal that cannot be easily detect![korean bbq, korean barbecue]()
ed. Some may call them foolproof lies, but we just call them genius.
"I tried Korean barbecue for the first time last night."
And obviously, you well overdid it. You're sweating in places you never knew possible, your clothes reek of meat despite being freshly cleaned, and you get the spins when you stand up. It could be the swine flu, but it's probably just food poisoning. It's seeping through your pores, too, and for your coworkers' sake, it's best you stay home before someone forces you to leave.
"My 30th birthday was yesterday, and I had too much wine with dinner."
If your bosses is near or over the age of 30, they'll understand if you had a rare celebratory drink at your deteriorating age and now you need some time to heal. Saying you're hungover in your early to mid 20s is completely inexcusable, but when you tell your boss you had more than two glasses of wine with dinner last night for your thirtieth birthday, it goes without saying you need a day of rest.
"I have to get blood work done to check up on some irregularities."
Unless your boss is a hematologist, how would they know if you're lying? In fact, use that word "hematologist" so it sounds like you really have one and you're going to see him. Everyone will wish you luck, but just to avoid bad karma, be honest and say, "I'm sure it's nothing." Because it is.
![Jurors in courtroom]()
"I've been selected for jury duty, despite playing the race card."
If you need several consecutive days off, tell them it's your own trial. If you claim you played the race card to get out of jury duty, even though they still kept you to balance the crowd of peers, that shows a moderate attempt to make it to work. Either way, people get summoned for jury duty all the time, so it's believable, only you're not even registered in the state you live so you can go to the beach and get paid to stare at bikini buns.
"My girlfriend is dangerously close to discovering where I stash my porn."
You're not sure if it's the stash in the garage, the attic, the one buried in the backyard, at your buddy's house, in your neighbor's recycling bin, the bank vault stash, the one in your "tool box," or the emergency stash, but you have a feeling it's one of those and you're not about to let her find it. Damn snoop!
"I'm having a hard time peeing, not to mention performing sexually."
Whether or not it's true, nobody is going to ask. Although if they do, it might be an unexpected sign it's time to look for a new job. If they find out you're lying but are still willing to talk about your poor performance as a sexual being, they're going to figure it's either real important you don't come in or something much, much worse that they don't want to know.
"Today, I'm demonstrating my American rights by voting across town no matter how bad the traffic."
Look at that, the city council in my neighboring town is voting on who will run the annual bake sale. This is our nation's future we're talking about! So every election - presidential, city mayor, local 4-H Club livestock judge - will have my input on the best and most deserving candidate. If you care, you'll take the time, no matter how far away the polls are and how bad traffic may get. You'll take the whole day, if that's what it takes!
"My wife is Jewish so I'll be celebrating all of her holidays this year, as well."
You weren't Jewish last week, as far as anybody knows, but today you happen to be celebrating an Orthodox holiday known as...there is a major sporting event you happen to thoroughly enjoy and have pricey, hard-to-come-by tickets to.
![Father looking at his sleeping wife and a newborn baby]()
"My brother is unexpectedly having his firstborn child today."
Actually, it's some guy you know from high school, whose last name you only remember because of Facebook, and he already has five kids at the age of 30 with no sign of stopping soon. But, you just saw his status saying he's having another one, and that inspired you. Sure, you'll see hundreds of photos online that you'll skip through before blocking him from your news feed, but to be there and watch the miracle of life begin anew, priceless.
"I was making business calls in the bathroom and dropped my phone in my own urine. Now I'm at the store to get a new one with a two-hour wait."
We've all been there, even though we know at wrist-deep point in a public bathroom that the phone is not going to work again, we still do it. The only thing worse is going to the phone store and waiting for two hours. This excuse might be real, might not. But everybody has a failed mobile phone-bathroom experience in their lifetime. Today you just happen to be cashing in.
"My car was stolen from my home, but the police think they might have a lead."
You can't very well come in during a high-pursuit police investigation. Any minute the case could break wide open. It's best you stand by and wait for their call so you can be on the scene in an instant, especially if they need you to do a police line-up or identify a body or unidentified case of old compact discs.
![Cute Puppy at Veterinary]()
"My dog swallowed the squeaker in her toy and her farts sound fatal."
If people can't feel sorry for you, you can make them feel sorry for your adorable pet. You could be choking on a bone after smacking your head on the corner of your desk and nobody would care, but if poor Fluffy gets a plastic squeaker stuck in her butt, everybody picks up your workload. Now you just need to find a dog in case anyone calls your bluff.
"I'm passing kidney stones or something larger."
For some people - myself - this is actually something that can happen. Nothing sounds more painful to people than kidney stones. Even pregnant woman think its brutal for a man. If there is any doubt in people's minds, you could offer to show them. If they accept, you may be able to parlay this into a sexual harassment lawsuit.
"I really want to make that offsite work outing, but I get irritable bowel syndrome in wide open spaces with lots of people."
After hearing this, everybody will be glad to let you stay home, especially if there's carpooling involved. Nobody wants to deal with car-pooing during a carpooling. See what we did there?
"I took one tiny hit of medical marijuana last night thinking it was a cigarette, but it wasn't a cigarette, medical, or even marijuana."
And 12 hours later, you're still freaking out and shaking compulsively in your bed. Obviously, telling your employer that you did drugs is a bad idea, but telling them you did it unknowingly or just using any of these other excuses might be a good idea, especially if you work at a weed shop. How many days do you need to call out of work anyway? You're a bad employee, you hippie stoner. Just suck it up and go to work.
ed. Some may call them foolproof lies, but we just call them genius."I tried Korean barbecue for the first time last night."
And obviously, you well overdid it. You're sweating in places you never knew possible, your clothes reek of meat despite being freshly cleaned, and you get the spins when you stand up. It could be the swine flu, but it's probably just food poisoning. It's seeping through your pores, too, and for your coworkers' sake, it's best you stay home before someone forces you to leave.
"My 30th birthday was yesterday, and I had too much wine with dinner."
If your bosses is near or over the age of 30, they'll understand if you had a rare celebratory drink at your deteriorating age and now you need some time to heal. Saying you're hungover in your early to mid 20s is completely inexcusable, but when you tell your boss you had more than two glasses of wine with dinner last night for your thirtieth birthday, it goes without saying you need a day of rest.
"I have to get blood work done to check up on some irregularities."
Unless your boss is a hematologist, how would they know if you're lying? In fact, use that word "hematologist" so it sounds like you really have one and you're going to see him. Everyone will wish you luck, but just to avoid bad karma, be honest and say, "I'm sure it's nothing." Because it is.
"I've been selected for jury duty, despite playing the race card."
If you need several consecutive days off, tell them it's your own trial. If you claim you played the race card to get out of jury duty, even though they still kept you to balance the crowd of peers, that shows a moderate attempt to make it to work. Either way, people get summoned for jury duty all the time, so it's believable, only you're not even registered in the state you live so you can go to the beach and get paid to stare at bikini buns.
"My girlfriend is dangerously close to discovering where I stash my porn."
You're not sure if it's the stash in the garage, the attic, the one buried in the backyard, at your buddy's house, in your neighbor's recycling bin, the bank vault stash, the one in your "tool box," or the emergency stash, but you have a feeling it's one of those and you're not about to let her find it. Damn snoop!
"I'm having a hard time peeing, not to mention performing sexually."
Whether or not it's true, nobody is going to ask. Although if they do, it might be an unexpected sign it's time to look for a new job. If they find out you're lying but are still willing to talk about your poor performance as a sexual being, they're going to figure it's either real important you don't come in or something much, much worse that they don't want to know.
"Today, I'm demonstrating my American rights by voting across town no matter how bad the traffic."
Look at that, the city council in my neighboring town is voting on who will run the annual bake sale. This is our nation's future we're talking about! So every election - presidential, city mayor, local 4-H Club livestock judge - will have my input on the best and most deserving candidate. If you care, you'll take the time, no matter how far away the polls are and how bad traffic may get. You'll take the whole day, if that's what it takes!
"My wife is Jewish so I'll be celebrating all of her holidays this year, as well."
You weren't Jewish last week, as far as anybody knows, but today you happen to be celebrating an Orthodox holiday known as...there is a major sporting event you happen to thoroughly enjoy and have pricey, hard-to-come-by tickets to.
"My brother is unexpectedly having his firstborn child today."Actually, it's some guy you know from high school, whose last name you only remember because of Facebook, and he already has five kids at the age of 30 with no sign of stopping soon. But, you just saw his status saying he's having another one, and that inspired you. Sure, you'll see hundreds of photos online that you'll skip through before blocking him from your news feed, but to be there and watch the miracle of life begin anew, priceless.
"I was making business calls in the bathroom and dropped my phone in my own urine. Now I'm at the store to get a new one with a two-hour wait."
We've all been there, even though we know at wrist-deep point in a public bathroom that the phone is not going to work again, we still do it. The only thing worse is going to the phone store and waiting for two hours. This excuse might be real, might not. But everybody has a failed mobile phone-bathroom experience in their lifetime. Today you just happen to be cashing in.
"My car was stolen from my home, but the police think they might have a lead."
You can't very well come in during a high-pursuit police investigation. Any minute the case could break wide open. It's best you stand by and wait for their call so you can be on the scene in an instant, especially if they need you to do a police line-up or identify a body or unidentified case of old compact discs.
"My dog swallowed the squeaker in her toy and her farts sound fatal."
If people can't feel sorry for you, you can make them feel sorry for your adorable pet. You could be choking on a bone after smacking your head on the corner of your desk and nobody would care, but if poor Fluffy gets a plastic squeaker stuck in her butt, everybody picks up your workload. Now you just need to find a dog in case anyone calls your bluff.
"I'm passing kidney stones or something larger."
For some people - myself - this is actually something that can happen. Nothing sounds more painful to people than kidney stones. Even pregnant woman think its brutal for a man. If there is any doubt in people's minds, you could offer to show them. If they accept, you may be able to parlay this into a sexual harassment lawsuit.
"I really want to make that offsite work outing, but I get irritable bowel syndrome in wide open spaces with lots of people."
After hearing this, everybody will be glad to let you stay home, especially if there's carpooling involved. Nobody wants to deal with car-pooing during a carpooling. See what we did there?
"I took one tiny hit of medical marijuana last night thinking it was a cigarette, but it wasn't a cigarette, medical, or even marijuana."
And 12 hours later, you're still freaking out and shaking compulsively in your bed. Obviously, telling your employer that you did drugs is a bad idea, but telling them you did it unknowingly or just using any of these other excuses might be a good idea, especially if you work at a weed shop. How many days do you need to call out of work anyway? You're a bad employee, you hippie stoner. Just suck it up and go to work.
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A Guide To What Can Kill You In Middle Earth
In The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (out on Blu-ray this week), intrepid Shire-dweller Bilbo Baggins and his band of Dwarf compatriots learn that getting from Point A to Point B in Middle Earth involves a treacherous gauntlet of things that exist solely to kill you. Here's a rundown of every drooling creature, vengeance-obsessed thug, and greed-sickened dragon that threatens to cut this hiking excursion painfully short.
![The Hobbit]()
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10 Casting Ideas That Almost Ruined Classic Movies
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5 Classy Cocktails for Your 'Mad Men' Premiere Party
If you are a fan of AMC's hit drama "Mad Men," you are probably stoked for the premiere of the seventh and final season this Sunday night. You may even be planning a fancy party with fellow fans of the show in which you dress up like Don Draper and company and sip on classy cocktails. That's where we come in. Below you'll find five excellent whiskey and gin options to serve up at your gathering that will make everyone feel as fine and sophisticated as the folks at Sterling Cooper & Partners. Stir them up and enjoy.
DON'S OLD FASHIONED
![jim beam old fashioned, mad men cocktails]()
Ingredients:
1 ½ parts Jim Beam Black(R) Bourbon
2 dashes bitters
Water
Cherry
Orange slice
Lemon wedge
Sugar
Preparation:
In an old-fashioned glass, place 1/2 teaspoon sugar and 2 dashes bitters dissolved in water. Fill with ice. Pour 1-1/2 parts Jim Beam(R) Bourbon; add cherry, orange slice and lemon wedge.
![jim beam manhattan, mad men cocktails]()
THE MAD MAN MANHATTAN
Ingredients:
2 parts Jim Beam Black(R) Bourbon
1 part Averna
1 dash Angostura Bitters
Preparation:
Garnish with a cherry.
![jim beam smooth and sour, mad men cocktails]()
STERLING'S SMOOTH & SOUR
Ingredients:
2 parts Jim Beam Black(R) Bourbon
1 part amaretto liqueur
1 part triple sec
2 parts sour mix
2 parts lemon-lime soda
Preparation:
Serve shaken in a tall glass with cracked ice. Garnish with a squeeze of lemon.
For more, follow Jim Beam on Twitter and like them on Facebook.
TANQUERAY EXTRA DRY MARTINI
![tanqueray extra dry martini, mad men cocktails]()
Ingredients:
1.25 oz Tanqueray No. Ten
2-4 dashes Dry French Vermouth
Preparation:
Pour vermouth over ice into mixing glass, roll around then strain out. Add Tanqueray No. Ten and stir. Strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a small pitted Spanish cocktail olive.
TANQUERAY FITTY FITTY
![tanqueray fitty fitty, mad men cocktails]()
Ingredients:
1 oz. Tanqueray No. Ten
1 oz. Noilly Prat Dry Vermouth
1 Dash Angostura Orange Bitters
Preparation:
Stir until very cold and strain into chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.
For more, follow Tanqueray on Twitter and like them on Facebook.
DON'S OLD FASHIONED
Ingredients:
1 ½ parts Jim Beam Black(R) Bourbon
2 dashes bitters
Water
Cherry
Orange slice
Lemon wedge
Sugar
Preparation:
In an old-fashioned glass, place 1/2 teaspoon sugar and 2 dashes bitters dissolved in water. Fill with ice. Pour 1-1/2 parts Jim Beam(R) Bourbon; add cherry, orange slice and lemon wedge.
THE MAD MAN MANHATTAN
Ingredients:
2 parts Jim Beam Black(R) Bourbon
1 part Averna
1 dash Angostura Bitters
Preparation:
Garnish with a cherry.
STERLING'S SMOOTH & SOUR
Ingredients:
2 parts Jim Beam Black(R) Bourbon
1 part amaretto liqueur
1 part triple sec
2 parts sour mix
2 parts lemon-lime soda
Preparation:
Serve shaken in a tall glass with cracked ice. Garnish with a squeeze of lemon.
For more, follow Jim Beam on Twitter and like them on Facebook.
TANQUERAY EXTRA DRY MARTINI
Ingredients:
1.25 oz Tanqueray No. Ten
2-4 dashes Dry French Vermouth
Preparation:
Pour vermouth over ice into mixing glass, roll around then strain out. Add Tanqueray No. Ten and stir. Strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a small pitted Spanish cocktail olive.
TANQUERAY FITTY FITTY
Ingredients:
1 oz. Tanqueray No. Ten
1 oz. Noilly Prat Dry Vermouth
1 Dash Angostura Orange Bitters
Preparation:
Stir until very cold and strain into chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.
For more, follow Tanqueray on Twitter and like them on Facebook.
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Jimmy Kimmel Sent Disguised Drake Out to Ask People If They Like Drake
Drake was recently chosen to be the host of the 2014 ESPYS, and fresh off that news, Jimmy Kimmel sent him out on the streets for another edition of "Lie Witness News." Donning a bearded disguise, Drake's "I Witness News" segment brought out the usual lies, and genuine feelings, from the public.
If this in any indication of how he'll do hosting the ESPN award show, Drake is going to kill it. Regardless of how you feel about him as a rapper, or if you think he's a "chicken head," he definitely has some comedic chops.
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The 13 Hottest Carl's Jr. Girls
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Comedian Scares His Hot Blonde Girlfriend 22 Times
One thing in life is certain: scaring the crap out of someone gets better the older you get. Comedian Aristotle Georgeson knows this and he's put his relationship at risk in order to make us all very happy. He loves scaring his girlfriend Adrienne so much, that he's made a compilation of scares for us to enjoy. If you care about us at all, you'll do the same to your girlfriend.
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