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The Bigger Your Penis, The More Likely Your Wife Will Cheat

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Well, apparently size does matter, but today has to be the first day of my life that I am actually proud of my Irish heritage below the belt.

According to a new study published this month in PLOS One, women are more likely to have an extra-marital sexual encounter if their husband has a longer erect penis.
the bigger your penis the more likely your wife will cheat, penis size study
Researchers in Kenya interviewed 545 married couples and found that 6.2 percent of the females were cheating on their husbands because of domestic violence, being denied a preferred sex position or his huge dong.

Using a 15-inch ruler, couples were asked to self-report the size of the male's boom stick. We were unable to confirm the exact number of guys who overestimated by at least two inches.

But what researchers discovered should make some men feel as adequate as ever. The study revealed that "every one inch longer penis increased the likelihood of women being involved in [an] extra-marital partnership by almost one-and-a-half times," usually because the women associated their man's large wang with pain and discomfort.

And right now somewhere outside of Boston, Mickey O'Toole is hoping that women in Kenya are the voice of women across the world.

I guess it's time to add "gigantic love log" to the list: 12 Signs Your Girlfriend May Be Cheating on You

 

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The Best Snopes 'False' Urban Myths

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If you don't know it, Snopes.com is a very awesome site that has been debunking urban legends and assumed myths for years. But what is often lost is how hilarious some of these debunked urban myths are. So we put together a few of our favorites because the world (and especially news coverage) would be kind of awesome if these were true.

Coca-Cola is an effective contraceptive.

Photograph shows a can containing "fish assholes."

Universities will pay thousands of dollars for the donation of a testicle.

Facebook will be closing down for good March 15th, 2011.

Pouring Coca-Cola onto a piece of raw pork will cause worms to come crawling out of the meat.

The cursive script of the Coca-Cola label includes an image of a person snorting cocaine.

Video clip shows a bungee jumper who's head is bitten off by an alligator.

Little Mikey of LIFE cereal fame died from the explosive effects of mixing Pop Rocks candy with Coca-Cola.

Fanta was invented by the Nazis.

The Facebook group "Becoming a father or mother was the greatest gift of my life" was created by a pedophile to gain access to kid's photos.

Television hostess Oprah Winfrey has committed suicide.

Photograph shows giant mutant cat raised by Canadian man.

Photograph shows a whale penis.

Photograph of man named Peter Griffin who bears a strong resemblance to animated character of the same name.

Photograph captures President George W. Bush holding a book upside down in a classroom.

Photograph shows President George W. Bush holding a phone to his ear upside down.

Photograph shows Mount Rushmore being obscured by a sheet during government shutdown.

A woman sued her ex-boyfriend who surreptitiously tattooed a pile of excrement on her back.

Weight lifter suffers prolapsed rectum during powerlifting match.

The University of Toronto is conducting a study regarding the effects of semen on human speech and are offering male volunteers $145 to receive fellatio.

Billboard sponsored by Funeral Directors Association urges viewers to commit suicide.

Video clip shows kicker Shaun Suisham booting an 110-yard field goal.

Night-vision video documents the bizarre existence of a mutant teenager named "Rubber Johnny."

Video clip shows a man flying with human bird wings.

Customer becomes sick after eating a steak at a chain restaurant; analysis of her meat determines the presence of urine in her meat.

Fast food restaurants and school cafeterias use "Grade D but edible" meat.

Roast fetus is the latest gourmet food in Taiwan.

Tim Horton's adds nicotine to their coffee to keep their patrons hooked on it.

No one is ever declared dead while on Disney property.







 

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Celebrities You Probably Didn't Know Were Related

Chain Restaurants That Sound Like STDs

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chain restaurants stds Have you ever thought about how many chain restaurant names kind of sound like sexually transmitted diseases? Of course you have. We all have. But just in case you haven't (ya weirdo), here are some of the most popular dining establishments in the country inserted into your standard STD conversations.

"We dated for a while but she never wanted to hook up. I found out later it was because her Red Lobster had flared up again."

"I can't put it off any longer. I gotta go see a doctor about this Krispy Kreme."

"Don't worry about Little Caesars, they clear up after two weeks of ointment. Then you can get right back in the game."

"Ever since I hooked up with that girl during finals week, it burns when I pee. I think she gave me the Sizzler."

"It was so gross, dude. I flipped her over and there it was - a giant Cinnabon staring me right in the face."

"Trust me son, always use protection. No girl wants to date a guy with a Cracker Barrel."

"She looked great from across the bar but when we got outside and I saw her in the light, I noticed she had two tiny Applebees right above her lip. That's when I took off."

"I can't believe Amy went on Facebook to ask about what medicine works best for a Fuddruckers outbreak."

"I'm clean, man. I got tested for everything: HIV, HPV, IHOP ..."

"I had to end it with Sarah. I found out she had a Jack in the Box."

 

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College Kid Tries Backflip at Graduation Ceremony, Fails Horribly and Faceplants Instead

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Look, we're all super pumped when we finally get that college diploma. But maybe if you're going to bust out the backflip on stage, you should make sure you can land it.

Davenport University student Robert Jeffrey Blank was so excited he finally completed college he tried a back flip right after being greeted by the university president. It resulted in a moment he will remember forever. But for all the wrong reasons.

The fail is hilarious on its own, of course, but I think my favorite part of this video is how the three faculty members standing right next to him jump in unison as he thumps to the ground.

 

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Going to a Music Festival In Your 20s vs. In Your 30s

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Coachella came and went in a flurry of cutoff jean shorts and #nofilter selfies. But that's only the tip of the iceberg. From Lollapalooza to Governors Ball, there are a ton more music festivals on the horizon this summer. While that may sound tempting to some (younger) people, it's becoming less and less enticing to other (older) people. Here's a breakdown of how your views of music festivals change with age.

going to a music festival in your 20s vs in your 30s

 

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Former Yankees All-Star Robinson Cano Surprises Fans Who Are Booing Him

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During his nine-year stint with the New York Yankees, fan-favorite second baseman Robinson Cano hit .309 with 204 home runs and 822 RBI. He was also a five-time All-Star and five-time Silver Slugger Award winner while playing in the Bronx.

But after bolting for Seattle and a shit ton of cash ($240 million) this offseason, Cano should expect to hear his fair share of boos mixed in with a few "welcome back" cheers tonight when he makes his first visit to Yankee Stadium as the enemy.

Only it won't be the first time Cano hears boos from Yankees fans, as Jimmy Fallon had him surprise Yankees fans on the streets of Manhattan who thought they were just booing an enormous cutout of the new Mariners second baseman.


Booooooooo ... oh hey, welcome back, man.

 

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Another Day, Another Idiotic 'Wheel of Fortune' Fail

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Hey! You! Has it been awhile since you slapped your palm against your forehead in pure disbelief? Well, wait no longer, because we've got another ridiculous "Wheel of Fortune" fail just for you. You might remember the worst "Wheel of Fortune" contestant of all time. It looks like that guy has got himself a new sidekick. The girl in this video blows a very obvious answer that anyone else in the world would've been able to solve. And while her mistake is pretty unforgivable, any girl with booze on her mind is OK in our book.

 

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If Cosmo Was for Manatees

Donald Sterling Banned for Life from NBA (Video)

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Donald Sterling was banned for life from the NBA today by NBA Commissioner Adam Silver. He was also fined $2.5 million and can never attend a Clippers game or practice ever again. He's also unable to attend any board of governor's meetings, and Silver will push to sell the team.

 

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News Crew Member Fails to Get Out of the Shot

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We're big fans of news fails here at Mandatory. So any time one is hilarious enough, we can assure you that we'll share it. This time around, a news crew member accidentally ends up on camera during a live broadcast. He realizes immediately that he is in the shot, so he does his best to get out of it. Unfortunately, his best isn't all that great. He dives to get out of the shot, but lands far from where he would be off camera. His second method, the scurry, proves to be a better option as he finally makes it off camera.

 

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Bob Costas Took a Leak Mid-Inning Last Night

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The great thing about live television is that something out of the ordinary is bound to happen from time to time, and we're pretty sure Bob Costas sneaking out during the bottom of the seventh inning of last night's Mariners-Yankees game to take a piss fits the bill.

MLB Network was broadcasting live from Yankee Stadium as part of their Tuesday Night Showcase mostly because it was former Yankee second baseman Robinson Cano's return to the Bronx. The game turned out to be a dud for the most part until play-by-play announcer Bob Costas suddenly asked his booth partner John Smoltz how his play-by-play skills were with nobody out and one on in the Yankees' half of the seventh inning.

His reason? You guessed it: He had to use the john.

If you find yourself asking why in the hell he didn't pee in between innings, the always lovable Costas was pretty candid about why he left when he did:


Well, I guess he wasn't always lovable: Twitter is All Over Bob Costas and His Pink Eye

 

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10 of the World's Weirdest Strip Clubs


Today's Funniest Photos

Oregon Women Arrested for Twerking Outside Beaverton City Hall

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It was probably the cocaine, methamphetamine, marijuana, and prescription drugs without a prescription in their possession that really did them in, though.

Most people leave City Hall after paying their fines fuming on the inside and thinking about everything else they could have dropped $300 on. The rest of the people? Impromptu twerking sesh in the parking lot.

According to UPI, Christie Valazquez Coura and two of her friends went to the Beaverton City Hall to pay a fine. So far, not an interesting story.

But moments after exiting the building, the three women began twerking in the parking lot, and at some point, they exposed their hoohahs. Then, while they were still dancing, one of the women lifted her skirt and urinated between two cars while the third woman videotaped the entire thing.

In the end, Coura, Brittany Medak and Leokham Yothsombath were arrested and charged with disorderly conduct, several counts of drug possession, and offensive littering, which we're assuming is the whole "peeing in the parking lot" thing.

The good news for the ladies is that all three now have new photos they can use for their Facebook profile pics.

women arrested for twerking at city hall
Speaking of twerking: Miley Cyrus Riding Things Other Than the Wrecking Ball

 

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