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Florida Man Throws Bucket of Urine on Building Inspector (Insane Mug Shot Included)

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Let's be honest. That's probably not the best way to get him to pass your house.

When a Sarasota County building inspector showed up Monday morning to have a look at Craig Siegel's rental property, odds are he didn't expect to leave doused in Siegel's piss.

But according to FOX 13 in Tampa Bay, that is allegedly what took place while the inspector was investigating claims that Siegel was fraudulently advertising his five-bedroom property as a 12-bedroom vacation rental house.

Authorities claim Siegel collected $53,000 from at least 19 victims, all of whom were expecting a much bigger house. One of those victims was Denise Blair, who gave Siegel $5,000 in hopes of celebrating her 50th birthday at his rental house.

But when she found out the property wasn't as advertised, she asked for her money back. Siegel declined, telling her he wasn't "in the financial position to do that." Local authorities disagreed, pointing out that Siegel has already made $173,000 in investment contributions this year.

Siegel faces 19 counts of fraud and one count of battery on a code inspector for emptying his bucket of urine on a human being. And if you find yourself asking what kind of asshole would do something like that, the answer is this guy:

man dumps bucket of urine on building inspector

More: The Greatest Mug Shots of All Time

 

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The Most Attractive Female Celebrity From Every State

This Exclusive Sneak Peek of 'TripTank' Introduces the Pee Slide

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If you haven't tuned in to Comedy Central's latest animated show "TripTank" yet, you are missing out on a wild world of television that is unmatched anywhere else. The various sketches touch all the bases of being wildly offensive, but are also downright hilarious. The example above, an infomercial for a pee slide for women, is a pretty good representation of what you're in for.

Check out "TripTank" on cc.com and catch new episodes Wednesdays at 10:30/9:30c.

 

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The Truth Behind Popular Movie Urban Legends

Complete Idiot Steps Out Onto Race Track and Gets Hit by Drifting Car

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I will start by saying that I hope this man is OK. Now, I will say that this man is a total moron who should probably know better than to step into the path of a speeding car doing extreme doughnuts. My sources tell me that this video is from Poland, so this guy has done nothing to dispel the "dumb Polish people" slurs that I was a victim of growing up. Thanks a lot, guy (who I, again, hope is OK).

 

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Playboy's Dani Mathers Stuns With Her Smile

Donald Sterling is Also Banned From the Bunny Ranch

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If getting banned from professional basketball didn't send a message to Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling, getting banned from professional poon sure as hell should.

According to UPI, Dennis Hof has banned Sterling from all six of his brothels in Nevada, including the legendary Bunny Ranch outside of Carson City.
Donald Sterling banned from Bunny Ranch
Hof said he banned the soon-to-be former Clippers owner after audio tapes posted by TMZ captured him making racist remarks toward African-Americans, saying, "A lot of NBA players come here to party. Out of respect for them, we have banned Sterling from coming here."

Hof also said he was doing it out of respect for his employees, as somewhere between 20 and 23 percent of his "smoking hot" hookers are African-American. Many of them were crying after they heard Sterling's remarks for the first time.

Sterling joins Michael Vick and the guys from Duck Dynasty on the list of celebrities to be banned from Hof's sex pads.

He wouldn't say whether or not Sterling had ever made a purchase at the Bunny Ranch, but Hof did throw one of the Lakers owners, Johnny Buss, under the bus, saying that he has celebrated his birthday at the Bunny Ranch for the last 18 years.

In a related story, my birthday party at Dave & Busters wasn't as much fun as I thought it was going to be.

You don't have to go to Nevada for sex: Hotwire For Hookers

 

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Today's Funniest Photos


Kids Can Sleep Anywhere

There Is Nothing Worse Than A Hypocrite On Facebook

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There are all sorts of annoying people on Facebook. Probably the most annoying though are the people who say one thing but do another. There is no better place for a hypocrite to get caught in the act than on Facebook since you can take a look at everything they've posted in the past. The crew over at Happy Place have gathered some of the worst offenders of hypocrisy on Facebook. Here's what they found:




































via Happy Place

 

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Shirtless Guy Hits on Reporter During Live Interview

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Residents of Rancho Cucamonga, California are hoping to save their houses from a wildfire that has spread through their city thanks to Santa Ana winds with gusts as high as 101 MPH.

They'll probably want to make sure they save their daughters from this tool, as well.

KTLA's Courtney Friel was reporting live in the thick of the fire yesterday when a shirtless man holding a dog walked by. Now, if there is one thing I have learned in life, it's that shirtless guys holding dogs have nothing to offer society. And after watching this video, I'm pretty sure they don't have anything to offer broadcast journalism either:


"Wow. You're super pretty. Want to go on a date sometime?" Um, what is something a guy who probably masturbates on a thrice-daily basis because he's such a major tool would say to an attractive reporter if she was stupid enough to ask him a question during a live report, Alex?

We're curious to see what this guy might do for an encore. Our money says he's currently at the intersection of La Cienega and San Vicente, waiting to propose to KCAL9's Amber Lee while she's in the middle of reporting on the elderly woman who just got smoked by an El Camino while she was trying to use the crosswalk.

More news fails: News Crew Member Fails to Get Out of the Shot

 

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15 Very Unfortunate Fortune Cookies

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Some guys just can't catch a break, but you'd think after spending a bunch of money on a nice meal, they could at least get fortune cookies that weren't so damn honest and/or hurtful. If you've ever gotten an unfortunate fortune cookie that was way too telling, you might be able to relate.

funny fortune cookies, fortune cookie pigeon poop
Pigeon poop burns the retina for 13 hours. You will learn this the hard way.

funny fortune cookies, fortune cookie get fat lose hair
You're going to get fat and lose your hair.

funny fortune cookies, fortune cookie die alone poorly dressed
You will die alone and poorly dressed.

funny fortune cookies, fortune cookie boyfriend craigslist
(One for the ladies) I found your boyfriend on Craigslist. He wasn't selling his pool table.

funny fortune cookies, fortune cookie end is near your fault
The end is near...and it's all your fault.

funny fortune cookies, fortune cookie another cookie
The fortune you seek is in another cookie.

funny fortune cookies, fortune cookie marry me
Will you marry me? (this is really weird coming from the waitress)

funny fortune cookies, fortune cookie marriage
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.

funny fortune cookies, fortune cookie pee yourself
Life will be happy, until the end when you'll pee yourself a lot.

funny fortune cookies, fortune cookie rectal use only
For rectal use only.

funny fortune cookies, fortune cookie no one reads your blog
No one reads your blog.

funny fortune cookies, fortune cookie family fucking you up
Your family isn't done f***ing you up. Not by a long shot.

funny fortune cookies, fortune cookie toxic gas
To release the toxic gas just break open this cookie.

funny fortune cookies, fortune cookie kill anton strout
You will kill Anton Strout in his sleep. You will.

funny fortune cookies, fortune cookie that wasn't chicken
That wasn't chicken.

 

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West Virginia Idiot Arrested Three Times in One Day

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Here's a great story to file away for the next time your girlfriend calls you a moron.

According to UPI, Gregory Horner of Vienna, West Virginia recently found a way to get arrested three times in one day on three different charges.
man arrested three times in one day
Horner's first arrest came as a result of the fake prescription he used to get his hands on some Xanax on Monday night. Apparently, you can't do that in West Virginia either.

Well, since it worked so well that time, Horner decided to give it a go again the next morning. But police were already on the scene interviewing the pharmacists about the bogus order, and they arrested him for forging the prescription.

After posting bond, Horner returned to his house. Several hours later, the police were also there, arresting him for domestic battery after he and his wife had it out with each other something fierce. The dispute was apparently severe enough to warrant Horner's wife getting a protective order against him.

He again posted bond and returned home, a decision that violated the protective order and landed him in the back of a squad car yet again. It was his third arrest in seven hours, and he was sentenced to a mandatory ten days in the clink.

That's really a damn shame, because we think Horner had it in him to get as high as a baker's dozen.

If Horner can read, this could prove to be useful: How to Survive Being Arrested

 

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Which STD are you?

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Which STD are You? Which STD are You?

  1. Where do you live? Where do you live?

  2. Which of the following do you most like sharing with people? Which of the following do you most like sharing with people?

  3. How popular are you? How popular are you?

  4. Would you rather be in guys or girls? Would you rather be in guys or girls?

  5. The last sexual desire you felt was... The last sexual desire you felt was

  6. Of the following, which is your favorite celebrity? Of the following, which is your favorite celebrity?

  7. Which name do you prefer? Which name do you prefer?

  8. Which is your favorite type of social media? Which is your favorite type of social media?

  9. How much do people hate you? (1-10, where 10 is most hated) How much do people hate you? (1-10, where 10 is most hated)

  10. Of the following, which is your favorite food? Of the following, which is your favorite food?

Which STD are you?

You got: HPV

You're superficial and vain. You don't want anyone to look good, so you'll pop up whenever you can to make them look bad. People don't like you to hang around very long and start to refer to you as a cancer if you do.

Share your Results
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You got: HERPES

You prefer to pop into people's lives at random without any kind of warning. You then proceed to make life uncomfortable and awkward for an extended period of time before making an exit without a single word of when you may return.

Share your Results
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You got: SYPHILIS

You're old school. You're more into swing music than dubstep. Yet you have the ability to adapt to situations to seem like you fit in which is why people call you "the great imitator."

Share your Results
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You got: GONORRHEA

You're very quiet and sneaky. Some are bothered by you, but a lot of the time, people don't even know you're there. However, if you hang around long enough, you really start to become a pain.

Share your Results
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You got: CRABS

You're irritating. You tend to make yourself at home where you're not welcome. You then invite your family and everyone else you know to do the same. You're weak in relationships and can only survive on the warmth of another human.

Share your Results
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You got: CHLAMYDIA

No one really wants to deal with you, but overall people don't mind you all that much. You're easy to get rid of, so once you make an appearance, people know what to do to get you out of their lives.

Share your Results
Share Tweet

You got: AIDS

You're the absolute worst. Nobody wants anything to do with you. You killed Tom Hanks in a movie once and everybody hates you for it. You made Antonio Banderas cry. No one makes Antonio Banderas cry! NO ONE!

Share your Results
Share Tweet

 

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Famous Porn Stars Then and Now

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Here are nine famous porn stars in their heyday, and then in their current state. As you can see, some of the aging and transformations can be rather shocking...and maybe a little scary.
Chasey Lain Then and Now
chasey lain then and now, porn stars young and old

Ginger Lynn Then and Now
ginger lynn then and now, porn stars young and old

Janine Lindemulder (Of Blink-182 fame) Then and Now
janine lindemulder then and now, porn stars young and old

Jenna Jameson Then and Now
jenna jameson then and now, porn stars young and old

Mary Carey Then and Now
mary carey then and now, porn stars young and old

Nina Hartley Then and Now
nina hartley then and now, porn stars young and old

Ron Jeremy Then and Now
ron jeremy then and now, porn stars young and old

Traci Lords Then and Now
traci lords then and now, porn stars young and old

Tabitha Stevens Then and Now
tabitha stevens then and now, porn stars young and old

 

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The Funniest GIFs of the Week

Proof That Twerking Hurts Those Around You

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If you think secondhand smoke is bad for your children, wait 'til you see what secondhand twerking does to them. Before you all get upset, the kid is absolutely fine. According to the mother with the lethal dance moves, her daughter is fine. She didn't even cry and was pretty much just surprised about what happened. I think we've all learned an important lesson here: Twerking is only okay if it leads to a hilarious video that the Internet can enjoy.

 

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Kid Sums Up High School (And Life) in 6 Seconds

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If you had to sum up life in a matter of seconds, could you? After you watch this video, you'll be able to. While this kid is simply complaining about high school, it can easily be applied to life or many factors of life (work, parties, etc). We know that feel, kid. We know that feel.

 

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Maxim's Hometown Hotties are Scorching in 2014

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The only thing better than a hottie is a lesser-known hometown hottie that gives us the illusion we have a chance of running into them. Maxim's 2014 finalists for their "Hometown Hottie" competition are nothing less than sexy, and with a line-up of wondrous variety spread out across the country - Johana from El Segundo to Stephanie in New York City to Cindy in Miami - you could run into these girls just about anywhere. If you like what you see in this behind-the-scenes video of Maxim's best-picked locals, check out more on their site until they announce the winner on November 25, and see if you can find your own hometown hottie who's hotter than these gals until then. Doubtful!

 

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A Day In The Life Of A Cat Proves That Cats Have The Best Life

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What happens when you record your cat on camera for an entire day and then create a time lapse video of the cat's day? You find out that cats have the kind of lives that we all dream about. Actually, they're pretty much you on a Sunday.

 

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