Quantcast
Channel: Mandatory
Viewing all 11431 articles
Browse latest View live

Naked Dude Hit By Car While Doing Push-Ups in the Street

$
0
0
The next time you accidentally destroy a raccoon while driving down the highway in your Chevy Pinto, just remember that it could have been worse.

According to KOMO News, a butt-ass naked man doing push-ups early Sunday morning in the middle of a Portland, Oregon street was killed when he was struck by a motorist who apparently wasn't expecting a nude guy to be working out in the road shortly after 4am.
naked man hit by car while doing push-ups in the road
Police said they first received a call at 4am in regards to a "naked man running through traffic near the intersection of North Columbia Boulevard and Portsmouth Avenue." While they were on their way to the scene, they received another call about the same guy doing push-ups in the road. Finally, another call came in just before they reached the scene, this time saying the man had been hit by a car.

The driver of the car was reportedly cooperative and not intoxicated. Meanwhile, a toxicology report will be performed on the dead guy, and we expect it will be off the charts.

Who knows? Maybe this guy took a trip to Portland for the weekend: Drunk Man Crashes Into Restaurant Then Gets Out and Masturbates

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments


Lisa Opie Bares Her Backside on the Beach

Today's Funny Photos

Guys Rent RV for Bachelor Party, Find Dead Body In It

$
0
0
Apparently, when the owner of a rental RV tells you not to open two of its compartments, he's serious. Dead serious.

According to Newser, a group of 11 guys in their twenties decided to rent an RV and drive it from Minnesota to Churchill Downs for the 140th Kentucky Derby for what would have been one hell of a bachelor party for groom-to-be Dan Trainor.
bachelor party end when guys find corpse in rv
Unfortunately, it never happened, because the guys found a dead body stashed in one of the two compartments they were told not to open.

Upon discovering the ultimate buzzkill, the men called the police and were taken into custody for fingerprinting and questioning. Authorities quickly learned they had nothing to do with the unknown man's death, though, and they were all released.

Trainor said the guys rented the RV "from a friend of a friend of a friend," one of whom may just be a murderer.

The corpse put a serious dent in the bachelor party plans, as the guys decided to settle for a hockey game in Minnesota and watching the Derby at a racetrack, which sounds about as awesome as the time I had to babysit my cousin with Aspergers.

I'm pretty sure "hockey game in Minnesota" didn't make this list: The Greatest Places to (Bachelor) Party

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Cinco de Mayo Spirits Guide: Cocktails, Margaritas and Choice Tequilas

Blazing Saddles GIFs for All Situations

This is One of the Best Catches You Will Ever See

$
0
0
A quick glance at the LSU baseball team's 2014 statistics sheet reveals that outfielder Jared Foster's season has been a bigger disappointment than Pacific Rim. The junior has started just 12 of the team's 49 games, hitting . 176 with zero home runs and six stolen bases in the process.

But the outfielder has yet to commit an error in the 32 games he has appeared in, so LSU head coach Paul Mainieri decided to put Foster in left field as a defensive replacement late in Friday's game versus Texas A&M.

According to Deadspin, LSU entered the bottom of the ninth inning with a 4-0 lead, but the Tigers' pitching staff pulled their best John Axford impression and blew it, as A&M scored four runs to tie it with two outs. And when Blake Allemand hit a fly ball to deep left field, it looked as though LSU was going to be a tough-luck loser.

Well, that is until Foster made what is easily the catch of the year:


Foster's grab would send the game into extra innings, and LSU would go on to win after plating one run in the top of the tenth.

If you think that was crazy, check these out: The Most Bizarre Baseball Plays Ever

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

15 Instances When It's Too Late to Call AAA

$
0
0
For the minor inconveniences of car trouble, AAA is a convenient solution that requires little of us other than a quick phone call. But sometimes it's hard to tell when it's too late to call AAA, and sometimes it's really obvious. Here are 15 examples of the latter.

Car in Tree
car in tree, funny car accidents
Instead of going straight home after the bar, you've got to take the long way there.

Cow on Car
cow on car, funny car accidents
At least he matches the paint job.

Pothole Problem
car in huge pothole, funny car accidents
There are rarely warning signs for potholes, but you think they'd give you a heads up about huge holes in the earth that you may be driving into.

Frozen Car
car frozen, funny car accidents
Unless AAA can show up with a large hair dryer, you are better off just returning to your vehicle in late spring.

Hit the (Parking) Deck
car smashed in parking deck, funny car accidents
This belongs in a museum and should not be taken down.

Submerged
guy driving underwater, funny car accidents
This man still thinks there's a chance of pulling this one off. No surrender as long as he still has his cigarette.

Homewrecker
car in roof, funny car accidents
We'd love to see the "before" and the "during" shots, because this "after" doesn't add up.

Puddle Trouble
car in huge puddle, funny car accidents
AAA will need some new tools for this one.

Airborne Death
car in bard, wheee car, funny car accidents
Somebody had their "Dukes of Hazzard" moment, only it didn't end too well.

Dip in the Pool
car in pool, funny car accidents
Good luck explaining this to the landlord. Or the insurance company. Or your wife.

Horse in Car
horse in car, funny car accidents
What's that saying? Don't drive into a gift horse in the mouth?

Muffin Top
muffin on car, funny car accidents
Nothing good ever happens when you eat in your car.

You Shall Not Pass
semi truck hits overpass, funny car accidents
Oh, the irony.

Powerful Powerlines
powerline falls on car, funny car accidents
The power going out in your neighborhood is not a big deal when you're dead.

Like a Glove
like a glove parking job, funny car accidents

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments


Cinco de Mayo: Another Artificial Holiday for American Alcoholics

$
0
0
As if the most traditional American holidays - Christmas, Thanksgiving, Fourth of July - weren't reasons enough to abuse alcohol, we as a collective nation of idle alcoholics have taken it upon ourselves to not only steal St. Paddy's Day from the Irish, but also Cinco de Mayo from Mexico. And if you think I'm wrong, ask the southwestsnooki cinco de mayo, snooki sombreroern part of the U.S. that started this Mexican-based tradition. Yes, the same folks who will be arbitrarily pounding margaritas on May 5th are many of the same who are imposing immigration laws against Mexicans in America.

According to many historians, Cinco de Mayo isn't even a national Mexican holiday (except in the state of Puebla where the Battle of Cinco de Mayo took place), but instead the day is more of an American-made holiday created by Hispanics of the western U.S. during the Civil War. To history educators, it's the Mexican celebration of the military victory over the French in the Battle of Puebla, a victory allowing Mexicans to keep their land from the invading French on May 5, 1862. But to regular everyday Americans like you and me, it's just another commercialized holiday with Tecate instead of Budweiser, doobies instead of chewing tobacco and fake moustaches because we didn't take the time to grow a real one. It's as American as the sombrero.

What started on the west coast of the U.S. quickly took over in larger cities before spreading throughout America, and even Canada. Just as deceitful in its conception as the clever marketing campaign by DeBeers conning people into believing that a diamond is the equivalent of love, so is Cinco de Mayo a clever stunt by beverage companies that started in the 1950's and 1960's because of The Good Neighbor policy, an effort to build a better relationship between Mexico and America. However, once Anheuser-Busch and Miller got involved, that's when it really started taking off, turning a small-time holiday into "that one day we all enjoy Corona." By the late 20th Century, Cinco de Mayo had taken off as one of the biggest American consumption days of the year. Today, American beer companies spend nearly a quarter of a billion dollars each year in Spanish-language advertising. Why do you think Corona, despite being one of the worst tasting Mexican beers, is in the top five selling beers in America, ahead of quality beers like Bohemia and Modelo?

Instead of drinking like a classy gentleman, people seem to need an excuse to get sloppy drunk and wear funny hats, an American tradition in and of itself. Following the douche epidemic of St. Patrick's Day with green plastic hats and shiny pots of gold, Cinco de Mayo is trailing closely behind in its footsteps of imagined traditions. We can partly blame American corporations for thdrunk college kid cinco de mayo, passed out in bathtub drunkis, who like to make a buck off convincing people we're celebrating something, but instead, we're getting drunk and forgetting what that is, though most people are convinced it has something to do with wet t-shirt contests. The corporations are aware of this.

Although America has little to do with Mexico's freedom, pride or democracy, we still tote our cheap sombreros and wear colorful plastic bags as ponchos with Americanized cervezas, all while refusing to shave our dirt lips just so we can play mariachi music and smoke the mota - Spanish for "grass" - like the very Mexicans we stereotype. If you ask anybody what Cinco de Mayo is in celebration of, you're more than likely going to get answers ranging from "Uhhhh?" to the best possible response, "Gettin' totes fucked up, amigo."

If we celebrate Mexican heritage that not even Mexico celebrates all too much, then what is Cinco de Mayo other than another Americanized fabrication and commercialization of history designed in the name of better tourism and devoted alcoholism? Although there is a small tie of America to the so-called holiday because of its influential motivation on the Union during the American Civil War that kept France from directly invading the U.S., how many people out of the thousands who celebrate actually know that?

But like every insightful inquisition into the norms of ignorant American traditions and brilliant marketing schemes, there is a solution offered in the end. Cinco de Mayo is neither a celebration of our independence nor theirs - theirs is September 16 - but if we Americans want to ignorantly celebrate for holidays we don't understand, wouldn't it be more sensible to first education ourselves as to what they're celebrating before grabbing handfuls of dirty, unwashed limes and consuming the most non-Mexican versions (Corona) of Mexican beer while cheersing to...uhh, Mexico, right?

If you want to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, be my guest, but you best not treat it like another Fourth of July, and you better damn well throw an authentic parade, whip up some quality guacamole and dance all day after a lengthy bullfight like a real patriotica Mexicana. Otherwise, set down the maracas and go back to your Budweiser and chewing tobacco and call it another Monday.

cinco de mayo, drunk white guy cinco de mayo

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Natalie Hall is Yet Another Sexy Canadian Actress

The 13 Worst Box Office Hits of All Time

Woman Lifts Dress At Work And Fills Milk Carton With Breast Milk

$
0
0


Um...not really sure how to describe this other than: oh dear Lord I think I am about to puke. Good luck getting through this video without getting sick yourself. This woman clearly has very strong feelings about breast-feeding...her entire office. Watch as she pours out some milk and then decides to refill the carton the natural way. Here's hoping she faced some sort of serious punishment from her employer. And here's really hoping nobody in the office used that carton for their coffee or cereal.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Scooter Driver Can't Catch A Break

$
0
0

It's quite possible that this video is a fake, but in the off chance that it isn't, it's worth a post. Especially on a Monday when you probably think you've got it rough. After watching this video, you'll realize that some people have got it worse. This scooter rider is here to show you that there is definitely such a thing as bad luck.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Sexy Actress Natalie Morales is Everywhere

Natasha Yarovenko is What America is Missing


Girl Fight Ends With Thrown Shovel to the Dome

$
0
0

The headline pretty much says it all, but if you desire more context, the full video for this long, awful, profanity-laced girl fight is below. From what we can gather, these two charming ladies had beef and agreed to fight about it while being videotaped. We're all sure glad they did (Note: the action begins around the 2:45 mark, and the shovel toss above occurs around 6:25).

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

It's Never Too Late for Cinco de Mayo with a Blindfolded Raquel Pomplun

$
0
0

Since it fell on a Monday, you may have passed on celebrating Cinco de Mayo this year, but Playboy Playmate of the Year 2013 Raquel Pomplun gives us a reason to have some Mexican fun while the idea is still fresh. Raquel shows off how to properly celebrate Cinco de Mayo, along with her awesome rocking body, in Playboy's latest Mexican-themed video. Rocking some loose leather high-cut shorts and a low-cut top, Raquel teaches us how to get festive: making us a Strawberry Muddler, taking some Honitos Lime shots and getting blindfolded for a little authentic, dirty Mexican fun. If you have any qualms celebrating Cinco de Mayo with a bunch of pasty freckled dorks, see if you can handle getting loco with the very sexy Raquel Pomplun and channel your inner "fiestero," Spanish language for "party boy".

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

We'd Love to Share an Awkward Morning With Marlana Carter

Candice Swanepoel & VS Angels Flock to St. Tropez

$
0
0

Candice Swanepoel and a few of her fellow Victoria's Secret Angels make their way over to St. Tropez, a little beach town in France, to shoot for the 2014 swim catalog. Candice and the girls hit the beach for some colorful play in some of the newest swimsuits of the summer line, sporting one pieces and high-waisted bikinis. Capturing the glamorous lifestyle of summer traveling, these beautiful girls give these suits the perfect hint of sexy just in time for the constant sunshine. Young, fun and full of sun is the theme behind the beachwear, but then again, they didn't need the new swimwear to tell us that in the first place.

 

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Today's Funny Photos

Viewing all 11431 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images