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Blue Angels Air Show in St. Louis Provides Ultimate "Wait for it" Moment


Jordan Carver Will Make You Swoon for 5 Minutes Straight

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Jordan Carver is the kind of girl who can frolic on the beach for the camera and, in under five minutes, make a man seriously question his life and everything in it. The beautiful 28-year-old German has her own YouTube channel with constant uploads of her naturally bosom-blessed body with some recent slight surgical modifications. (It means she had a boob job, even though she didn't need one in the first place, at all.) In this recent video, Jordan struts the ocean shore in a revealing white one-piece for a little sand and surf. This'll get your week started off on the right foot, and by "right foot," we mean fully erect at your desk. Enjoy boys, because it doesn't get much better than this.

 

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These Foreign Hand Drawn Movie Posters Are Incredibly Weird

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I'm nowhere near worldly enough to know why some foreign countries have any reason to hand-draw American movie posters, but it sure is entertaining. The question is, if you were walking on the street and saw these incredibly weird images, would you even want to see the movie? I mean, the "50 First Dates" drawing is almost as bad as the movie itself. Almost (Although Drew Barrymore's lazy eye is pretty enjoyable). Here is that poster, along with several others, to entertain your eyeballs.
50 First Dates
Alice in Wonderland
The Aviator/The Matrix Revolutions
Bruce Almighty
Friends with Benefits/The Fast and the Furious
Hancock
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Scooby-Doo
Sex and the City/Prince of Persia
Shrek/Hellboy/Avatar/Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid
The Dark Knight


via Eat Liver

 

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Today's Funny Photos

Florida Couple Trapped in Bedroom by Their Cat

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To say the cat "freaked out" would be a bigger understatement than saying I would like to hold Kate Upton's hand (and that's it).

According to Bay News 9, a couple in DeLand, Florida, was forced to call 911 over the weekend after their cat "freaked out" and trapped them in their bedroom.
Florida Couple Calls 911 after cat freaks out
Teresa and James Gregory were left with cuts, bruises, and scratches to their arms and legs after they were attacked by their Russian Blue cat as they returned home on July 5.

"She tore me and my husband up 'cause we left her in the bathroom all day," Teresa Gregory said. "So I let her out and she was OK. Then, she saw my husband and she freaked."

Gregory said she didn't know what to do after removing the cat from her bedroom, so she and her husband hid inside and closed door before ultimately deciding to call 911. The bad kitty is now being quarantined for ten days.

The couple also told police that their 4-year-old feline had never had any shots or vaccinations, which in hindsight, seems like a terrible decision.

This is how cats do things on the West Coast: Badass Cat Saves Boy From Vicious Dog Attack

 

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Graphic Designer Hilariously Messes With People Looking for Logo Help

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A woman and her husband posted an ad for a graphic designer to help create an incredible logo for their new Italian restaurant. Perfectly normal and perfectly harmless, right? Hell no. This is the Internet and there are people around every corner just waiting to troll you. A designer saw the ad and decided to have a little fun with them. Here is how the conversation went down.








via Tumblr

 

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New England Police Dogs Can Sniff Out Child Porn

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It looks like Fido now has a hand in taking down pedophiles in Rhode Island and Massachusetts. Well, at least a nose.
Dogs Can Now Sniff Out Child Porn
According to Huffington Post, more than 65 police dogs recently spent 22 weeks at the Connecticut State Police Training Academy and can now "pinpoint hard drives, thumb drives and other technological devices that may be hidden in a home."

One dog was able to sniff out a thumb drive containing child pornography last month in Rhode Island that was hidden "four layers deep in a tin box inside a metal cabinet." It was the state's first-ever canine-assisted arrest involving computer equipment.

"If it has a memory card, he'll sniff it out," the dog's handler said.

While obviously not every memory card or thumb drive contains child porn, police said that devices containing such garbage are often "hidden away from suspects' computers."

After finding the perps' memory cards and hard drives, the police dogs are given a well-deserved treat.

Why dogs in just the New England area are being used for this instead of say, everywhere else, is beyond us.

After he takes care of business, Fido does his business only one way: Study Reveals Dogs Align Themselves With Earth's Magnetic Field Before Taking a Dump

 

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18 Modeling Poses Done Better by Cats


ESPN The Magazine's 'Body Issue' Cover Model ... Prince Fielder?

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Call us crazy, but we were under the impression that they would need more than one page to show off the Texas Rangers first baseman.

According to The Score, Prince Fielder will be one of several athletes to appear on the cover of ESPN The Magazine's immensely popular "Body Issue" when it hits newsstands later this week.

Prince Fielder Body Issue cover
There are six different cover models this year, including Fielder, Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch, tennis sensation Venus Williams, swimming legend Michael Phelps, Oklahoma City Thunder forward Serge Ibaka and snowboarder Jamie Anderson.

Fielder had season-ending surgery in late May but still made time for the "Body Issue" photo shoot and interview, in which he discusses injuries, tattoos, working out and, of course, eating.

"I need to feed the size," Fielder said. "Obviously, I'm a big guy. But I also need to feed myself with the right things. I have a chef now, so it's definitely easier to make sure that I'm getting full off of the right foods. If I don't stay on it, it can get out of control."

The "Body Issue" hits newsstands July 11. No offense, but we'll take the one with Venus Williams on the cover instead:

Venus Williams Body Issue cover

Her sister is a smoking hottie, too: The 26 Most Iconic Magazine Covers Featuring Famous People

 

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'The Simpsons' 20 Greatest News Graphics and File Photos

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The news can get downright silly sometimes, but it will never compare to that of Kent Brockman and his Channel 6 news team on "The Simpsons." Whether it's posting the worst possible photos of people when they make the news (specifically Homer Simpson), coming up with the most bizarre segment graphics, or simply using eye-catching headlines to cause panic among the people of Springfield, you know whatever is displayed in the square next to the veteran news anchor's head is going to be pure gold. The following 20 photos showcase the most ridiculous of them all.

From "Lisa the Simpson" (Season 9, Episode 17)
simpsons news graphics, simpsons file photos, towel whips butt
From "Treehouse of Horror VIII" (Season 9, Episode 4)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "Bart Gets an Elephant" (Season 5, Episode 17)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "Homer the Vigilante" (Season 5, Episode 11)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "Treehouse of Horror VI" (Season 7, Episode 6)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "Marge on the Lam" (Season 5, Episode 6)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "Lisa the Simpson" (Season 9, Episode 17)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "Bart the Fink" (Season 7, Episode 15)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "Treehouse of Horror IX" (Season 10, Episode 4)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "The Frying Game" (Season 13, Episode 21)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "Simpson Tide" (Season 9, Episode 19)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "The Springfield Files" (Season 8, Episode 10)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "Marge vs. The Monorail" (Season 4, Episode 12)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "Krusty Gets Kancelled" (Season 4, Episode 22)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "You Kent Always Say What You Want" (Season 18, Episode 22)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming" (Season 7, Episode 9)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "Papa's Got a Brand New Badge" (Season 13, Episode 22)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "Deep Space Homer" (Season 5, Episode 15)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos
From "A Tree Grows in Springfield" (Season 24, Episode 6)
kent brockman news photos, funny simpsons news
From "Bart's Comet" (Season 6, Episode 14)
simpsons news graphics, kent brockman news photos

 

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Where to Hit the Snow this Summer

An Average Saturday Morning: With Kids vs. Without Kids

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It doesn't matter how many parenting books you read or how much research you do before having a child, nothing will ever prepare you for having every Saturday for the next two decades of your life destroyed. Kids don't get the idea of sleeping in on the weekend or giving you a day off after a long shift at work. They're relentless monsters that want nothing more than to drain you of your life force. If you don't believe me, let's look at an average Saturday for someone with kids verses an average Saturday for someone without kids.

 

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Florida Construction Sign Gets Hacked, Continues Absurd Vulgar Prank Craze

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If you aren't aware, a while back a vulgar videobomber interrupted a live newscast by stealing the microphone and yelling a very crass obscenity. Then, he did it again (but much more calmly). Now, because this is the world we live it, it has become a craze for people being interviewed on live TV to drop the infamous line, "F**k her right in the pu**y" (like this guy at the World Cup). And because Florida is never content with the status quo, someone there took it to the next level by hacking a construction sign and offending many who saw it. Keep up the great work, everyone!

fuck her right in the pussy construction sign

 

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Amanda Hinchcliffe Shows Us the Love

What's Really in Your Fast Food?

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What's Really in Your Fast Food?
At Mandatory, we're not ones to get on our high horse and preach about proper diet, exercise, or just healthy living habits in general. And I personally have been known to indulge in fast food lunches more than I am proud of. However, it's important to not let our love of delicious, mouth-watering fast food blind us from the horrifying facts of what's in it. This video does a great job at demonstrating how way too much of a good thing is jam-packed into our favorite burgers, fries and beverages.

 

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Today's Funny Photos

Movies That Can Be Described With the Same Sentence

This Is What Happens When You Pretend to Be Marv From 'Home Alone' and Ask for Legal Help Online

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Even though I've written quite a bit about "Home Alone" and watched it countless times since it came out nearly 25 years ago, I've never considered that Marv and Harry may be able to take legal action against the McCallister family. Instead of just wondering if they could have, I thought the only sensible thing to do would be to contact an attorney online and explain the case to them myself, posing as Marv. I found one in Florida and figured if anyone could get money for criminals, it would be an attorney in Florida. Here's how it went:

























 

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10 Incorrect Facts You Learned in School

This Is Why You Don't Let Your Toddler Get Into Your Stuff

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Look, parents, your children are curious creatures who want to get their hands on absolutely everything they come across. Maybe that's why it's best to keep all of mommy and daddy's very "personal" items well out of reach of your newly walking, overly curious adventurer. Otherwise, you might end up like two of my friends.

Below is a photo they sent me this morning. It's a picture of their little girl in utter shock over the interesting new toy she discovered. No, that's not a replica of Audrey Two from "Little Shop of Horrors," it's exactly what you know it is. (Editor's note: Yes, that's a Fleshlight, for those of you who don't know.)

Please note the poor little pink stuffed animal she abandoned in the process of this discovery.

 

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