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The Official Sex Toy Chart

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12 Actors in Almost Unrecognizable Movie Roles

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The Top 12 Recent Political Sex Scandals

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Exclusive Clip from the Season Premiere of Burn Notice

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"Burn Notice" fans rejoice. The two-hour season premiere is just around the corner and Mandatory was given an exclusive clip from the first hour to share with you. The clip features Sam (Bruce Campbell) and Fiona (Gabrielle Anwar) as they try to finagle their way back to the states after the team was left in Panama with no resources to get out.

You can connect with other Burn Notice Fans and discuss the episode with other viewers via Twitter during the premiere on Thursday, November 8th at 9/8C using the hashtags #BurnNotice and #EscapeFromPanama.

 

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The Funniest Photos You Will See Today 11-1-12

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All Hail the Queen, Esther Hanuka

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Cars, Cars, and More Cars At The SEMA Show in Las Vegas

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The Internet Reacts to the Disney-Star Wars Merger

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In case you hadn't heard, George Lucas agreed to sell Lucasfilm--and the Star Wars franchise--to the Disney Corporation for over four billion dollars. As you can imagine, the Internet reacted. Here are some of our favorite memes that have emerged since the deal was done.

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Disney, Star Wars, Disney Star Wars merger, funny meme, three moons mickey mouse ears

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Disney, Star Wars, Disney Star Wars merger, funny meme, death star mickey mouse, mickey emperor vader kneeling

 

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Success Kid: Hilarious Meme Gallery

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The Funniest Photos You Will See Today 11-2-12

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Hilariously Horrible Real Rapper Names

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I Hate People Who Run In The New York City Marathon

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So you're running the New York City Marathon. Congratulations - you're either a smug fitness freak or an attention whore. No matter the case, I definitely hate you.*

new york city marathon, diarrhea

You've probably been training for a year, raised a bunch of money for the charity of your choice and picked out the perfect over-crowded Upper West Side sports bar to hang out at after the race. And guess what: I don't give a shit. At all.

I haven't given a shit since you sent out that first mass e-mail announcing your participation in the Marathon. In fact, it was then that I immediately considered ending our relationship because I feared the ensuing e-mails. And I was right.

First came the map pointing out various spots to stand along the race route, all of which are nearly impossible to get to thanks to the fact that the marathon blocks off all major streets for the day. Then came notice of your pace goal times on the spiffy marathon web site so I can track every slow step of yours. It all ends with the obligatory after-party invite, which extends the misery even longer and almost made me change my e-mail address.

Seriously, asking me to watch you run in the marathon is bad enough on the first football Sunday in November. Tacking on an afterparty that doesn't start until the second quarter of the 4 o' clock games is just inconsiderate. I should be parked on a bar stool watching 9 different TVs and tracking 8 different fantasy football teams all day long. Instead, thanks to your mid-life health crisis, I'm going to be standing on a street corner holding a handmade sign that your girlfriend made with a magic marker and some sparkly pens.

Speaking of girlfriends and wives, you don't get off free here, either. Being forced to cheer you on is even worse. You're just a friend by association and I definitely don't care about watching you strive for a personal best in your third marathon. But since my close friend has to go watch you run by at six different designated cheering zones so he can keep getting laid, so do I - even though you'll be blind with pain by mile 7 and won't stand a chance of picking us out in the sea of other chumps who got guilted into showing up.

Don't get me wrong, running in the New York City Marathon is an incredibly impressive athletic accomplishment. Just share it with someone who actually cares. (Hint: That's not me.)

*So...um, this was written before the whole thing got called off this year. But rest assured, I still feel this way and I will still feel this way next year when the race resumes.

 

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This Week's 20 Inappropriately Hilarious Tweets

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11 of the Most Shocking MMA Moments

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Mercedes Steel Test Track: The Iron Schoeckl

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It's called the Iron Schoeckl, and it's the 30-foot high steel rack Mercedes-Benz uses to showcase some of the capabilities of the Mercedes military-esque G-Wagon - that boxy SUV that people either love or hate. (Really, calling it military-esque is unfair, as many armies around the world buy the G-Wagon in one form or another.)



Last week, I got a chance to visit Gratz, Austria, home of the G Wagon factory that pumps out 54 all-new G's every day. (Overall, it takes 10 days to hand build these powerful machines that have mind-stretching capabilities.)

And after touring the factory, it seemed somehow fitting, in that German sort of way, that all of the journalists were collected in a parking lot to be shown again how incredible this machine is by taking a ride on this iron contraption that reminded me of the game Mouse Trap.

The metallic Schoeckl comes in a trailer and can be built just about anywhere. When a G drives up the two-track structure, the metal moans and creaks. But the Mercedes has no problem hitting the 45-degree angles and climbing straight up them. During the these test rides of strength, often the driver would stop and then back up the 45-degree ramps. Incredible.

At the top, the Iron Schoeckl hisses as the hydraulics lower one end so the wagon can continue its trip down it. There is no safety net and the driver has to park the G on the edge of the ramp in order for it to move.

The Iron Schoeckl will continue its tour around the world including potential stops in America. If you get the chance, take it for a ride.

 

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All the Obama Conspiracy Theories in One Diagram

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Barack Obama conspiracy theories, Barack Obama, conspiracy theories, killed grandmother, went to mars

Sometimes it's hard to keep all the conspiracy theories being thrown around straight. Thankfully, Mother Jones put the wide array of presidential conspiracy theories into one handy Venn diagram. Everything from going to mars as a teen to decorating the Oval Office in Middle Eastern styles are here. Fun!

via Mother Jones

 

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Tracking Down Adam West In The Phonebook Is Very Confusing

20 Hot Photos of the Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders

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10 Terrifying Near Nuclear Disasters

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10 of the Biggest American Election Year Scandals

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