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Woman Accused of Committing 42 Break-Ins is the Most Attractive Crook You Will Look at Today

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That's a guarantee. And I have a feeling this girl will have an easier time than most making some kind of plea deal outside of the court.

According to Uproxx, Stephanie Beaudoin is a 21-year-old nursing student who has been accused of breaking into 42 homes in Arthabaska and Maple, Canada. She's very easy on the eyes.

Stephanie Beaudoin is a smoking hot criminal
Beaudoin was slapped with 108 counts of breaking and entering and receiving stolen property last August, and the courts have now added six more counts to her rap sheet.

"The record is impressive," Beaudoin's lawyer Denis Lavigne said. "I was given a document that's at least 12 inches thick."

Let's be honest: The rap sheet is not the only thing that's impressive when it comes to Beaudoin.

Beaudoin allegedly broke into the unoccupied homes either through the back door or a basement window. But because translating French is so damn hard, it's unclear whether Beaudoin stole nine guns from the houses or if she's being charged with just illegally owning and improperly storing them.

But hey, does it really matter? What she took isn't really what's important here. Here are a few more shots of the latest attractive convict to steal our hearts:

Stephanie Beaudoin is a smoking hot criminal
Stephanie Beaudoin is a smoking hot criminal
Stephanie Beaudoin is a smoking hot criminal
Proof that even hot women get in trouble sometimes: The Hottest Hot Girl Mug Shots

 

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Katya Sambuka is a Russian Barbie Babe

Malaysian Man Has Ten Metal Balls Removed From His Penis

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He apparently grew concerned when he became the first guy in history to suffer from rust on the inside of his boom stick.

According to UPI, a 44-year-old Malaysian man who recently had 10 metal ball bearings implanted inside his penis because a "friend" told him it would "bolster his sexual abilities" had to have emergency surgery to remove them after theMan has ten metal balls removed from penis after they began rustingy began to rust.

A man known simply as Ramli said he inserted the balls himself after his friend said he had gained increased sexual stamina from doing it.

While at first the ballsy self-surgery paid off in that he was really able to satisfy the ladies, Ramli said within a matter of months, he was unable to get an erection. A doctor convinced him to have the ball bearings removed or he would eventually become forever impotent.

Once the doctor removed the balls, he determined the pain and impotence were a result of rust.

No word if the same doctor also checked inside Ramli's skull to see if it was empty.

Even without jamming it full of metal ball bearings, a man's penis struggles almost on a daily basis: The Life of a Man's Penis Has Ups and Downs

 

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Today's Funny Photos

Papa Roach Lead Singer Says His Uncle Gave Him Herpes

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Papa Roach lead singer Jacoby Shaddix recently sat down with "Hit The Floor" magazine as part of their "HTF Firsts!" series, in which musicians talk about things like their first album purchased, first crime committed, and of course, first kiss.

Shaddix's interview starts off with a bang, as he reveals the first crime he ever committed was stealing bubble gum. While on the surface that seems rather harmless, the fact that he did it from the grocery store that his dad was managing really upped the ante, and it set the tone that many of his firsts involved his family.

HTF eventually asked him to talk about his first kiss, and his answer couldn't have been more repulsive:


"My first kiss was when my uncle kissed me and he gave me herpes. It was terrible. Anybody else got herpes? Yeah, you do. Don't lie to yourself. I know you got it, you watching this."

Um, no, we don't, but at least now we know one of the reasons why the majority of Papa Roach's songs feature some of the most depressing lyrics ever written.

Here's something a little less gross than getting kissed by your herpes-infested uncle: Which STD are You?

 

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So A Guy Went To A Wedding High And Got The Photoshop Treatment...

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High Guy At Wedding Photoshop
When a user on Reddit posted the photo above of himself with the explanation, "So ... I went to my friend's wedding a little high," he probably didn't anticipate just how much joy it would bring us all. The photo made its way to the Photoshop Battles section and as usual, the people of the Internet worked their magic with it. Here are some of the best from the collection:
(h/t Happy Place)









See Also: Guy's Friends Photoshop His Obnoxious Profile Picture

 

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The Forgetful Dory Meme Reminds Us How Stupid We Are Sometimes

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One of the most relatable memes on the Internet is the Forgetful Dory Meme. Based on the "Finding Nemo" character known for her incredibly short-term memory, it has become the symbol all of the forgetful things us idiotic humans do. Here are some of the best the Internet has to offer.

Forgetful Dory, Finding Nemo, Meme












 

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9 Movies That People Died Watching


This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

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Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them yourself. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.

Follow @robfee on Twitter.


Even more hilarious tweets await you...

 

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The First Person To Buy The New iPhone 6 Immediately Dropped It On Live TV

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If you think people who wait overnight in really long lines just to buy a new phone are idiots, you are really going to enjoy this video. Meet Jack, the new poster boy for why you should always have a case on your fancy new expensive smartphone. Jack is one of the fools who has been brainwashed by Apple into thinking he has to immediately have the newest version of whatever they're schilling. In fact, Jack is so excited about his new toy, he can barely contain his excitement as he opens the box on live TV. And then, splat. There goes Jack's rent for next month, bouncing around on the concrete. This is why we can't have nice things, Jack.

 

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Your Thoughts As You Realize You're Riding With A Terrible Driver

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Is there anything more terrifying than being in the car with someone who's awful at driving? You're completely at their mercy. It's like being in a sad version of the robot on "Pacific Rim," but in either scenario you feel like you're going to die. Here are 16 increasingly frightening realizations that you're in the car with an absolutely horrible driver.

riding with a terrible driver, funny driving infographic, terrible driver infographic

 

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Nicole Trunfio is a Hottie From Down Under

Renee Somerfield is a Sexy, Awesome Aussie

The World's Biggest Beer Bash: Oktoberfest 2014

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Saturday, September 20th marks the first day of this year's Oktoberfest celebrations in Munich, Germany, and beer-lovers from all over will stumble through the streets of the Bavarian capital in celebration of suds and brats until October 5th.

Lost your lederhosen and unable to attend? Never fear, gentle reader, as we've rounded up the most impressive Oktoberfest stats. Bottom's up!

Oktoberfest

Getting started
Kick-off occurs at 12 noon, when the Mayor of Munich taps the first keg. Per tradition, he'll shout "O'zapft is!" to announce "It's tapped!" and offer the glass to the Minister-President of the State of Bavaria, and only then will the 181st Oktoberfest be officially underway.

Oktoberfest

Historically drinking
The first Oktoberfest took place in 1810 to celebrate the marriage of Crown Prince Ludwig and Princess Therese of Saxe-Hildburghausen. They invited the whole town to the party, and for the next 200-odd years Theresienwiese (a square in downtown Munich, named for the princess) has been the place to be for dirndl'd drinking, brat boofing and stein mining. The holiday allows for more than just massive consumption -- Oktoberfest is a chance for Bavarians to show off their local music and moves, and parades, concerts and costume parties are organized throughout the two-week-and-a-touch run.

Oktoberfest

By the numbers
Theresienwiese's been transformed into a fairground of sorts, with 14 large beer tents, and 20 smaller tents. They've got seating for 100,000 (the largest tent can hold 10,000 people alone), but with 7.2 million attendees expected this year, you'd better show before 11am to grab a spot.

What's the crowd eating? Brats, and lots of 'em; last year 550,000 spit-roasted chickens were served, as well as 300,000 pork sausages. But more importantly, how much are they drinking? Over 1.8 million gallons of beer -- that's the equivalent of three Olympic-sized swimming pools full of suds.

Where's all that food and booze end up? In more than half a mile of urinals (as well as 980 sit-down toilets), and as 1,000 tons of trash. And don't even think of indulging in a pee-behind-a-tree; the fine for public urination is $130, and the next two weeks of ticketing are expected to yield the city of Munich more than a hundred grand.

On the ground
Beer's served from 9am or 10am to 11:30pm or midnight, depending on the day, and entrance to beer tents is free (though seating comes with the expectation each person purchases at least two liters of beer and one roast chicken). All that frothy goodness is sure to please both you and the locals -- last year's Oktoberfest yielded $1.4 billion in revenue.

Oktoberfest

In your stein
Only beer brewed within the city limits of Munich's allowed to be served, so expect golden goodness from one of six breweries on tap. And don't even think about trying to swipe your stein -- last year 110,000 folks were foiled as they made an attempt at a sweet souvenir.

Oktoberfest
On your plate
Sides like soft pretzels, kraut and warm potato salad will leave you salivating, but Munich's main attraction is artery-clogging meaty goodness. Traditional bratwurst, made from pork, will be on offer both fresh and smoked, but they aren't the only sausage sizzling; check out the blutwurst if you're game to try one made with blood and tongue, knockwurst if you're a garlic lover, bockwurst for a variety of white pork with chives and green onions, and frankfurters for a more American taste (albeit in a natural sheep casing not often seen stateside).





 

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META DATA TEST #2


This Giant River Anaconda Will Make You Never Want To Go Near Water Again

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(h/t Uproxx)
When it comes to snakes, we're with Indiana Jones: keep them as far away from us as possible. Especially if they get to be as big as the one in this video. From what it seems, a few people in a boat on the river in Brazil stumbled upon this beast. While one of them (the high-pitched screamer) reacts the way we all would, the other two seem to be all about messing around with the monster. Lucky for them, it looks like it had itself a giant snack very recently. That might be the only reason these idiots are even alive.

Now of course, there is always a possibility that this could be fake and Jimmy Kimmel is the one screaming like a woman offscreen, but it seems real enough to makes us never want to go in any sort of water again. Fake or not...we know someone who this video might be of interest to:
jon voight anaconda

 

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Giorgia Rosella Rises To The Top of Our List

Sexy Singer Niykee Heaton Turns Up the Heat

Today's Funny Photos

13 Recently and Surprisingly Broke Celebrities

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No matter how popular you are or how much money you have, you're only a divorce, poor investment or copyright infringement away from going broke. These recent examples of surprisingly broke celebrities will prove that very notion.

Lena Headey
broke celebrities, broke celebs, celebs who have filed bankruptcy
"Game of Thrones" actress Lena Headey went through both a divorce lawsuit and custody battle in 2012, which left her with "less than $5" in the bank.


Brendan Fraser
broke celebrities, broke celebs, celebs who have filed bankruptcy
Actor Brendan Fraser hurt his back trying to free a fallen tree during Hurricane Sandy and was unable to work. This, along with his annual $900,000 alimony payment to his ex, led Fraser to plead poverty early last year.


Gary Busey
broke celebrities, broke celebs, celebs who have filed bankruptcy
Crazy man Gary Busey owed about $1 million, but what's impressive is that he only claims to have $50,000 in assets, including old moccasins, a broken pellet gun and more than 300 VHS tapes.


Jose Canseco
broke celebrities, broke celebs, celebs who have filed bankruptcy
Former home run hitter Jose Canseco declared bankruptcy last year, owing nearly half a million to the IRS.


Dionne Warwick
broke celebrities, broke celebs, celebs who have filed bankruptcy
Singer and psychic friend Dionne Warwick owed approximately $11 million in back taxes and had to file for bankruptcy in 2013.


Kelly Rutherford
broke celebrities, broke celebs, celebs who have filed bankruptcy
Former "Gossip Girl" star Kelly Rutherford was down more than $2 million to a divorce lawsuit and custody battle.


Warren Sapp
broke celebrities, broke celebs, celebs who have filed bankruptcy
Lots of football players go bankrupt, but Warren Sapp managed to blow his $82 million and still owes nearly $7 million.


Pamela Anderson
broke celebrities, broke celebs, celebs who have filed bankruptcy
Pam Anderson declared bankruptcy recently when she couldn't afford back taxes and construction work on her Malibu home totaling $1.1 million.


Janice Dickinson
broke celebrities, broke celebs, celebs who have filed bankruptcy
Model Janice Dickinson went broke when she owed more than $1 million to the IRS and her landlord, along with costs for plastic surgery and dermatologists.


Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt
broke celebrities, broke celebs, celebs who have filed bankruptcy
We're only counting reality power(less) couple Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt as one celebrity. They blew more than $10 million because they thought the world was going to end and had to file for bankruptcy when it didn't. Smart.


Terrell Owens
broke celebrities, broke celebs, celebs who have filed bankruptcy
Frequent crier and ex-football star Terrell Owens owed child support to four kids from different women, in addition to tax debts to the IRS.


Sinbad
broke celebrities, broke celebs, celebs who have filed bankruptcy
Comedian Sinbad filed bankruptcy this year for the second time, owing more than $11 million in debts, mostly in back taxes.


Dennis Rodman
broke celebrities, broke celebs, celebs who have filed bankruptcy
In 2012, former cross-dressing NBA star Dennis Rodman declared bankruptcy, citing he spent nearly $30K each month on drinking. Now he's known for being pals with North Korea's dictator, which is truly the most outrageous part of this article, if you think about it.

 

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