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Classic TV Neighbors We'd Want to Live Next Door To (at Least for a Day)

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The bond between neighbors is unlike anything else. They're the people we feel comfortable enough to borrow sugar from and still not invite to our holiday parties. We call the police on each other, yet wave and talk from a distance while we take out the trash. But life would be much more interesting if these classic TV neighbors were living next door to us. Did we leave any out?

Cosmo Kramer (Seinfeld)
Kramer gif, cosmo kramer seinfeld, kramer thumbs up gif
Kramer was the zany, intrusive neighbor of Jerry Seinfeld, who famously always knew how to open the door at the perfect comedic time and barge in.

Ugly Naked Guy (Friends)
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"Ugly naked guy" was the neighbor who always hung out naked in his apartment for the whole gang to see out their apartment window.

Ned Flanders (The Simpsons)
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Ned Flanders is the annoyingly chipper neighbor of Homer Simpson.

Fred Mertz (I Love Lucy)
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Fred Mertz was the loudmouth neighbor of Lucy and Ricky who would always gossip to Rick about their wives.

Jefferson & Marcy D'Arcy (Married With Children)
classic tv neighbors, funniest neighbors in television history
The D'Arcys were the rowdy power couple next door to the Bundys who had a reciprocal relationship of making Al's life a living hell.

The Jeffersons (All in the Family)
classic tv neighbors, funniest neighbors in television history
George and Louise Jefferson were the affluent African-American neighbors of Archie Bunker. They were so popular that they moved on up to their own spin-off series, which was the second TV spin-off of "All in the Family."

George Wilson (Dennis the Menace)
classic tv neighbors, funniest neighbors in television history
George and Martha Wilson endured living next door to the neighborhood's biggest menace.

Glenn Quagmire (Family Guy)
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Glenn Quagmire is the sexual deviant living next door to the Griffin family with the classic catch phrase "giggity."

Richard "Boner" Stabone (Growing Pains)
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"Boner" was the memorably named troublemaker and best friend to Michael Seaver, played by Kirk Cameron.

Vinnie Delphino (Doogie Howser, M.D.)
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Vinnie Delphino was best friend to child doctor, Doogie Howser (Neil Patrick Harris), who would climb through the bedroom window unannounced.

Steve Urkel (Family Matters)
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Steve Urkel was the nerdy, cheese-loving inventor living next to the Winslows.

Kimmy Gibbler (Full House)
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Kimmy Gibbler was the annoying, unwelcome neighbor and best friend of D.J. Tanner who would make herself at home to the Tanners' dismay.

Barney Rubble (The Flintstones)
classic tv neighbors, funniest neighbors in television history
Barney Rubble was the yabba-dabba-doofus who ignorantly annoyed his neighbor Fred Flintstone.

Mr. Feeny (Boys Meets World)classic tv neighbors, funniest neighbors in television history
George Feeney was both teacher and neighbor mentor to his student, Cory Matthews.

Winnie Cooper (The Wonder Years)
classic tv neighbors, funniest neighbors in television history
Winnie Cooper was the dream girl living down the street from Kevin Arnold on "The Wonder Years." The actress who played Winnie, Danica McKellar, grew up to become a major babe.

Wilson (Home Improvement)
classic tv neighbors, funniest neighbors in television history
Wilson W. Wilson was the inconspicuously sage neighbor who offered wisdom to his accident-prone neighbor, Tim Taylor.

 

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Excellent Sports Apps for the New Seasons

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We won't make it too obvious when we offer up the best sports apps for the new seasons, but we will give you a little bit of everything from scores and streaming to mobile scalping and apparel. Most are free to all iPhone abest sports apps, watching sports on phonend Android users, and none are more than the five-dollar mark. It's never been cheaper to be a good sports fan. Nor sexier.

Team Stream HD (Free)
Get intimate with your favorite teams using the top personalized, team-specific app Team Stream, now both free and HD. Instead of scrolling through multiple sites and apps, get it all together with the app that claims to deliver updates faster than ESPN along with interactive features so you can see your team's tweets. What could be better? Thanks, Bleacher Report.

NFL.com Fantasy Cheat Sheet 2014 ($4.99)
Essentially fantasy football's "Game Genie," Fantasy Cheat Sheet is an affordable partner in maximizing your fantasy performance. That came out wrong. What we meant to say was that the app keeps you up with the latest trades, injuries, weekly projections and expert rankings so you can make smart decisions without looking like a jackass in front of your friends. If you don't have it yet, get it now to make a strong playoff push.

Thuuz Sports (Free)
As a man, it's hard enough to remember to put mustard on your sandwich, let alone keep track of all the games for all the sports you follow. This is a busy time of year for sports with baseball ending and the others beginning, so you'll need alerts about the best match-ups that might not be on your radar. Hop around from sport to sport, baseball & football fantasy included, to stay on task with games by getting alerts for your favorite teams and game times. In addition to scores and highlights you get from "Sportscenter," Thuuz offers interactive features to remind friends that the Bulls are playing the same night as the Bears and that you have twice as many reasons to get drunk now.

NBA Game Time 2014-15 (Free)
If you were a fan of NBA Game Time before, delete the app and download the new, updated version. With league pass access, you can now watch games not only on your computer but on your phone and tablet, too. In addition to up-to-date scores, post-game and highlights, the nice new layout lets you personalize with your favorite team and choose which broadcast, home or away, you want to listen to.

MLB.com At Bat (Free)
The number one sports app in the App Store currently is now rocking some serious postseason additions. With pitch-to-pitch coverage and multiple angle viewing, fans can get up close and sporty with whoever they are rooting for, and now the updated app has live coverage of all postseason games so you don't have to miss a second. And it's free, dammit.

SEC Football Schedules & Scores ($1.99)
Major college football fans needn't look further than right here for the best in SEC mobile potential, as you can get scoreboards and schedules, as well as rankings and rosters, for all your favorite SEC teams. Silvertree Technology leads with the best divisional football apps, and they have Pac 12 and Big 12 editions as well.seatgeek app, sports apps

SeatGeek Tickets (Free)
If you can't wait until March for some madness, why not get off the couch and see the game yourself? SeatGeek is the free pathway to live sporting events, setting you up with all the best in ticket sales, saving you big bucks while hooking you up with the best seats in the house. Follow the app for eBay, StubHub and other competitors, along with seating charts and best deals available (not just sports) so you have an excuse to get out of the house and curse in public instead of in front of your lady friend and her parents.

MMA Underground ($1.99)
Treat your inner adrenaline junkie to a nice app with MMA Underground, a cheap siphon for MMA news, history and fight photo galleries. With all the best in mixed martial arts, including its calendar of upcoming events and featured articles, you can stay in the know with your favorite fighters, keeping tabs on their matches while getting in depth with forums frequented by the likes of Dana White and Joe Rogan.

J23 ($1.99)
If you have good taste at all, you're someone who appreciates good sportswear, namely Michael Jordan's. J23 is the all-knowing entity for the latest in Jordan sportswear with release dates and prices of all the models, including a history lesson dating back to 1985. If you're tired of looking like a sap or being behind on the best of what MJ has to offer, get on it with J23.

theScore (Free)
Rated as one of the App Store's most essential sports apps, spanning from football to lacrosse and hoops to auto racing, theScore gives you exactly what its name says. With push alerts, team customization and breaking news, theScore offers a rich newsfeed made just for you with an interactive section of tweets and GIFs to keep you entertained while the rest of the world bores you to tears in comparison.

 

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Wisconsin Man Accused of Leaving Sex Toys in Alleys and Waiting For Girls' Reactions

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Well, that's not going to look good on a resume.

According to WISN, a pervert in West Allis was arrested yesterday but not charged after police said he left sex toys in several alleys for random girls to stumble upon and then waited for each girl's reaction.
man leaves sex toys in alleys
The man allegedly either placed or threw a sex toy from his car on at least three different occasions and then waited around to see how each girl would react, which we have to assume was rather poorly each time.

The man was busted after the father of one of the girls captured his license plate on a personal surveillance camera and turned the information over to police.

The incidents took place at the corners of 72nd Street and National Avenue, 65th Street and Burnham Street and 78th Street and Rogers Street. We can't help but think he would have had better success throwing a pocket rocket into the alley behind the porn shop where Greenfield Avenue meets Interstate 894.

Then again, that would be like fishing with dynamite, and what's the fun in that?

Here's another instance of a sex toy being misused: New Mexico Woman Arrested for Beating Her Mom With a Vibrator

 

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Obnoxiously Entitled Parking Jobs That Will Fill You With Rage

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Picture this: You've been driving around the movie theater parking lot for ten minutes looking for a spot, and you're going to be late for the show soon. Across the way, you see two cars exit. You cruise over there, but before you make it, a guy in a Maserati swoops in and takes up both spots. He then gets out, flicks his cigarette and calmly walks away toward the theater. Are you mad yet? If not, you will be when you check out the abundance of a**hole parking jobs below. Stay cool, though, there is some justice at the end.

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asshole parking, dickhead parking, entitled parking jobs
asshole parking, dickhead parking, entitled parking jobs
asshole parking, dickhead parking, entitled parking jobs
asshole parking, dickhead parking, entitled parking jobs
asshole parking, dickhead parking, entitled parking jobs
asshole parking, dickhead parking, entitled parking jobs
asshole parking, dickhead parking, entitled parking jobs
asshole parking, dickhead parking, entitled parking jobs
asshole parking, dickhead parking, entitled parking jobs
asshole parking, dickhead parking, entitled parking jobs

But finally, some justice ...

asshole parking, dickhead parking, entitled parking jobs
asshole parking, dickhead parking, entitled parking jobs

 

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What If Horror Movies Took Place on Facebook?

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It's unfortunate that so many horror movies have become so full of clichés and recycled storylines. It's fantastic when you find an original horror movie, but most are just the same thing over and over. What if these horror movies we've all become so familiar with took place solely on Facebook? It would probably turn out something like this:

Horror Movies Funny Facebook

 

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Mara Teigen Might Be the Queen of Instagram

These People Have The Most Ridiculous Job Titles Possible

Guy Jumps Over Out-of-Control Dirt Bike and Continues on With Phone Call

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If I'm ever being held up at a gas station, I sure as hell hope this guy is there to calm the situation.

According to their website, Grand National Cross Country is "America's premier off-road motorcycle, ATV and UTV racing series." Last weekend's event was held at an old strip mine property called Powerline Park in St. Clairsville, Ohio, and let's just say things got a little sloppy.


Because the course consisted of fire roads that pack up and hold water, to say that mud was a factor would be almost as big of an understatement as saying the Goo Goo Dolls are a below average band.

This video was taken during the motorcycle portion of the event revealed two things. First, wearing a helmet while riding a dirt bike is almost as necessary as washing your hands after you use the john. Second, this guy in the orange sweatshirt on his cell phone is probably the coolest guy in the world.

Here are a couple of other people who recently had a horseshoe up their asses: Insane Car Crash at Italy's Jolly Rally Somehow Results in Zero Injuries

 

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This Woman's Breasts Dancing To Mozart Will Make You Appreciate Classical Music

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If classical music just isn't your thing, don't you worry. A busty woman - who goes by the name of Sara X - has figured out a way to keep your interest throughout a symphony. The tattooed beauty describes herself as a " weirdo with an offbeat sense of humor and is here to perform Mozart's "Eine kleine Nachtmusik" with her magical boobs. Sit back and watch in awe as classical music suddenly becomes your new favorite style.

 

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The Unhappiest Pets in Halloween Costume History

Today's Funny Photos

14 Medical Workers Reveal The Craziest Thing They've Ever Seen

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Disgusted nurse holding urine specimen
I'm the type of person that passes out when a nurse has to do that little finger prick and get a fraction of an ounce of blood, so the medical field was never a consideration for me. The things people working in hospitals and ambulances see must be completely insane. A Reddit thread asked workers to reveal the craziest things they've ever seen, and it definitely didn't disappoint. Here are some of the wildest stories:

1. V-8
I had this one patient who refused to have his blood drawn unless I brought him blood to replenish the sample I had taken. So with the help of the nursing staff we gave him V-8 and warmed it up and told him that it was fresh O+ blood. He let me draw his blood, still yelled at me about how the devil could see what I was doing and how he knew I was going to hell, and when we gave him the V-8 he acted like it was actually bringing parts of him back to life.

2. Makeshift Bathroom
I had a guy in the ED who kept peeing in the corner of his room. He was told several times to let us know if he needed to go and we would happily help him to the bathroom. He said he was going to keep doing it because he was going to tell everyone I was the one peeing in his room so I would be fired. He told everyone, and I didn't even get to go home.

3. Hand Sanitizer Goes Down Easy
I had a man with history of alcohol abuse arrive intoxicated to ED. We measured his blood alcohol level, then we remeasured 2 hours later and it doubled despite being isolated in his room and having been thoroughly searched for alcohol containers. No one could figure out where this guy was getting the booze from. A resident decides to check the multi-hospital system to try and get more info on the guy and sees an old note from another hospital mentioning having to remove the alcohol hand sanitizer dispensers from the patient's room. We go into the patient's room and see a hand sanitizer dispenser on the wall. Upon close inspection its been visibly tampered with, and completely empty.

4. Self-Harm
I treated a man who ate things to hurt and punish himself whenever he felt bad. And he felt bad very often, to the extent, for example, if you gave him a glass of water he would feel he was putting you out and would feel the need to self-punish. He would eat coins, nails, buttons, string ... he got brought into the hospital because he had eaten a battery. After a while, most psych patients fit into a category of expectations. He always stands out in my memories of patients.

5. The Cat Lady
One patient I had didn't have people voices in her head; she had cat voices. She would just sit there and talk to all these cats. And then yell at me for not letting them come inside because they were freezing to death. I'm terrified of cats so the whole thing just weirded me out.

6. Mmmm Skin
I work as a psychometric in a psychiatry clinic. Just had a patient the other day that peeled the dead skin off her feet and chewed it. She liked the texture.

7. Don't You Hate When Demons Eat Your Soul?
Mine would either be the lady who said her headache was from demons eating her soul, or the guy with dementia that pulled out a fully inflated Foley catheter.

8. Quite the Misunderstanding
Sent a male patient into the bathroom to collect a urine sample. Took him much longer than expected. He misunderstood and gave a semen sample.

9. That's Not Contagious
I'm a receptionist at a doctors' clinic. During my second week, a very distressed guy approached the counter and told me in a whisper that he had just found out his housemate was homosexual and that he needed to see a doctor right away to get the "appropriate tests" done. He said that he'd moved out already but was worried because he'd used the same cutlery and light switches as his housemate. I don't know what he thought he'd caught. I was speechless!

10. Mickey Mouse
We picked up a guy from a local McDonald's. The very obese guy had tripped and lacerated his arm on a parking block, and was bleeding everywhere. Thing was, he was hardcore tripping on some sort of hallucinogen. The whole time he wouldn't stop yelling at me. Normally, I would NOT put up with that, but this time I couldn't stop laughing because the guy was talking in a squeaky Mickey-Mouse type voice. The cop I grabbed to go along nearly peed himself laughing.

11. Fake Cancer
I had a fake cancer patient. He would go around claiming he pancreatic cancer and blood clots all over his body and that he had a rare genetic disorder that made him resistant to coumadin. He would come with stacks of medical records. The guy had me convinced; he had chemo port surgically implanted in the his chest. He did however, trip my radar for crazy and I googled him ... bringing up an article about how he scammed many hospitals and even convinced physicians to give him chemo.

12. "How did that get there?"
Anyone who shove things up inside themselves and then pretend they have no idea how it got there. And believe me, it happens more than people realize.

13. Oh Mickey You're So Fine!
Not super gross or anything, but still weird. I had a 70-ish paranoid schizophrenic try to convince me to sing "Oh Mickey, you're so fine" with her for an entire hour.

14. The Eye Globe
I had an old lady who fell on the edge of a table and ruptured her eye globe. She had dementia and didn't understand why she couldn't see out of that eye. That was pretty weird.

 

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The 10 Dumbest Clues Left Behind by Criminals

22 Comical Reasons Why These Children Were Crying

15 Things 'The Big Lebowski' Teaches Us About Zen

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Urban Dictionary defines Zen as, "Complete and absolute peace," and "a state of coolness only attained through a totally laid-back type of attitude." Jeff Bridges's perennial character, The Dude, embodies such definitions.

"The Big Lebowski" has birthed a new religion, been quoted by a supreme court judge, and has bred a cult status lending legions of nerds to endlessly quote it. It also boasts oodles of Zen philosophies. Here are 15 maxims every budding Buddhist should live by.

The Big Lebowski quotes













 

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A Typical Work Day: Not During Fantasy Football vs. During Fantasy Football

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Some estimates believe that the lack of productivity by employees during fantasy football season cost companies over a billion dollars each week of the NFL season. That's over $18 billion in less than five months. If you think those numbers are high, you've definitely never played fantasy football. One league can soak up an obscene amount of your time, but when you get into multiple leagues, it becomes almost a full time job. Here's a look at a typical workday not during fantasy football versus during fantasy football.

fantasy football workday

 

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Mother Asks for Help With Her Son Who is Masturbating in the Penalty Box

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Emily Yoffe is known by her followers at Slate as "Dear Prudence," and she does a weekly online chat to help them get through everyday issues attached to parenting and workplace behavior among others.
woman asks for help with masturbating son
Odds are it will be a while before she is asked to chime in on a problem as entertaining as this:

Q. My Son Can't Keep His Hands Off Himself: I am a single mother with a 14-year-old son. I knew this time was coming but now I fear I am close to my wit's end. I have seen evidence in his bedroom, the laundry room, and the kitchen. Things escalated last week when his hockey coach called me in for a conference. I have noticed my son has been taking a lot of penalties this season. It turns out he has been intentionally going to the penalty box to pleasure himself. I lashed out at him when about this and things have been awkward around the house this weekend. Am I overreacting?

Oh, so that's where he got ringworm.

This one might have been too much for even Yoffe to handle, as her response basically told the woman to watch a few movies that addressed teens jerking off. She also didn't want to know the details behind what her son is doing to the groceries, and quite frankly, neither do we.

Whatever happened to the good old days when parents would just tell their kids they would go blind? It worked for my parents.

When he gets older, he'll learn that bargain prices are pretty damn hot: Oklahoma Man Arrested After Masturbating in Walmart

 

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Watch This News Reporter Get The Crap Scared Out Of Him By A Screaming Royals Fan

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The Kansas City Royals have not been this close to a World Series in nearly 30 years. Their fans are clearly excited about it. And their local news reporters are clearly not used to this much noise being made about the local ball club. Poor guy. He's never gonna live this down. And he probably needs a clean pair of undies, too.

 

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'Family Feud' Contestant's Answer For What She Would Change on Her Husband Embarrasses Everyone

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Geez. I guess that husband Pete must make a boatload of money to make up for it.

According to Uproxx, the "most awkward moment in Family Feud history" aired this week when a contestant was asked to name one part of her husband's body that she would change, and she answered-rather definitively: "His penis."


Host Steve Harvey was quite the professional with this one, as his 17-second look of disbelief allowed Joyce to dig herself an even deeper hole by revealing that she comes from a "weird place." Joyce then tried to get Harvey to jump on her train of embarrassment by suggesting that he was thinking the same thing, but he was having none of it.

"I wasn't thinking a damn thing," Harvey replied. "I don't know your husband, but I think that's him with that happy tie on. He's having a rough day."

Of course, "his penis" wasn't one of the top seven answers on the board. But who knows? Maybe it was number eight, and Joyce just missed the cut. No word if the next round's question had something to do with what husbands would change about their wives, but we're pretty sure we know what Pete's number one answer would be.

Name something that has white balls: The Craziest Answers in 'Family Feud' History

 

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Canadian Man Attacked by Bear and Shot by Friend Survives

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Think your Wednesday blows? It obviously could be much worse.

According to UPI, a 56-year-old taxidermist named Wilf Lloyd was recently attacked by a grizzly bear while he and his buddy were hunting in Fernie, B.C., and then shot by his friend who was trying to save him.man survives grizzly bear attack and getting shot by friend

The good news for Lloyd is that one of the bullets from his friend's gun actually hit the bear and killed it. He was transported to a Calgary hospital by an air ambulance whose spokesman confirmed that Lloyd had been "shot accidentally by his hunting partner while attempting to neutralize the animal."

Maybe it's just us, but "neutralize" seems like the wrong word in this situation, as we find it hard to believe that anybody with a gun who is watching his friend get mauled to death by a grizzly bear is going to use it just to "neutralize" the thing.

Lloyd is listed in stable condition and has made no comment about the irony of a taxidermist getting attacked by a wild animal.

Who needs a gun when you have this cat? Badass Cat Saves Boy From Vicious Dog Attack

 

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