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10 Annoying Cases of Hollywood Directors Casting Their Kids

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When you're a well-established director, we imagine you are given final say on most of the casting decisions. After all, it's you who's going to have to work with these people for the next several months. However, this should exclude the director's kids, particularly but not necessarily limited to little kids. That's the kind of Hollywood nepotism that is beyond annoying. Having said that, the following list of directors are guilty of casting their not particularly talented children in films and TV shows where it's obvious someone else could have done much better.

Lorelei Linklater (Daughter of Richard Linklater), "Boyhood" (2014)
directors who cast their kids, Lorelei Linklater Richard Linklater
Since it's Oscar season, we figured we'd start with a recent Oscar contender. While "Boyhood" is widely considered a fantastic and groundbreaking movie all around, we couldn't help but notice the weak link in the chain. We don't like calling out little kids on their acting performances more than anyone else, but we also wouldn't do it if they didn't stand out among the others as clearly the one who could have been better. And once you realize it was the director's own flesh and blood, you can't help but feel a little shortchanged.

Sofia Coppola (Daughter of Francis Ford Coppola), "The Godfather: Part III" (1990)
directors who cast their kids, Sofia Coppola Francis Ford Coppola
We're aware that the part of Mary Corleone wasn't originally supposed to be played by Sofia Coppola (Winona Ryder is said to have dropped out last minute), but we also know that the director has a history of putting family members in his films. After all, his sister played Connie Corleone in the original. Hell, Sofia was the baby in the baptism scene. If the casting was in fact a circumstantial matter, then so be it, but as it stands this is a case where not only is it likely that there was someone better for the role, there actually was. Maybe it wouldn't have hurt to postpone and look a little harder for a replacement.

Andrew Miller (Son of Bill Lawrence), "Scrubs" (2001-2010)
directors who cast their kids, Andrew Miller Bill Lawrence
When it comes to casting your kid in role, specifically one such as this example where it starts out as just putting your baby in a few shots, of course use your own kid. Less hassle is never a bad thing. But as the show goes on and the role requires the child to start speaking, we'd recommend hiring a professional. Call us picky, but when you have to subtitle what a kid is saying because he can't be understood, either cut his lines entirely (when has what a two-year-old has to say been pivotal to a plot anyways?) or just age the part slightly (again, what does it really matter?) and cast someone else a little older who is not your son.

Francesca Eastwood (Daughter of Clint Eastwood), "Jersey Boys" (2014)
directors who cast their kids, Francesca Eastwood Clint Eastwood
Here's the issue we have here: Francesca Eastwood isn't some unknown. In fact, prior to her relatively small part in this film, her resume (including starring on the reality show "Mrs. Eastwood and Company" and webseries "Oh, You Pretty Things!") didn't warrant the need for a big break. If it was simply a matter of Clint Eastwood wanting to work on a project with his daughter, they already did that in 1999's "True Crime," another film he directed in which Francesca played his daughter. Why not give Waitress #1 in "Jersey Boys" to a struggling actress who needs it, especially since it wasn't the most involved role in the world.

Pearl McKay (Daughter of Adam McKay), "Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues" (2013)
directors who cast their kids, Pearl McKay Adam McKay
We can't say Pearl McKay's quick line of dialogue during the Sea World scene in "Anchorman 2" is atrocious, (in fact, it was probably one of the most coherent things she's ever said in her three IMDB credits), but it was completely useless. Literally any kid in the world who can talk could have delivered it the exact same, if not better. We're not going to dog a guy for putting his little girl in one of his movies, but he's already done this. She was in a deleted scene from the first film that ended up on "Wake Up, Ron Burgundy: The Lost Movie," which was made from all the cut scenes. The bottom line here is give these throwaway lines to other kids who it might actually mean something to.

Harley Quinn Smith, (Daughter of Kevin Smith), "Yoga Hosers" (2015)
directors who cast their kids, Harley Quinn Smith Kevin Smith
What do you do when you need someone famous to be in your movie? You cast his kid in the movie, of course. And if your kid is friends with his kid, we suppose you just cast both kids as the leads in your movie and claim they are amazing until people actually see it. That seems to be Kevin Smith's reasoning behind casting both his and Johnny Depp's daughters as the leads in "Yoga Hosers." To be fair, you might know them both from "Tusk," their only legitimate film credits so far, which was also directed by Kevin Smith and based off a stoner podcast idea based off a fake Craigslist ad. Are we being sarcastic enough for you?

Marten Holden Weiner (Son of Matthew Weiner), "Mad Men" (2007-2015)
directors who cast their kids, Marten Holden Weiner Matthew Weiner
"I have a son and here he is!" seems to be the logic behind "Mad Men" creator Matthew Weiner casting his boy Marten in the role of Glen Bishop, the creepy and mostly dull neighbor kid, on his award-winning series. We'd be less okay with this if he actually gave his son any sort of good material to work with that made him stand out, but as it stands, we don't know if the role was forgettable or just the person playing it. We assume the latter. The "Mad Men" creator gave his other son Charles a role on the series as well, but it only lasted one episode.

Blake Lively (Daughter of Ernie Lively), "Sandman" (1998)
directors who cast their kids, Blake Lively Ernie Lively
This isn't necessarily a case of a director who shouldn't have cast his daughter in one of his films as much as it not really mattering that he did all that much. We're sure someone will chime in here, but does anyone even remember the film "Sandman," which is Ernie Lively's only film director credit? If anything, casting Blake did him the favor, as he went on to star as her father in both "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" films. But if casting her in his movie in any way led to to those god-awful films being made, then not cool, dude. Not cool.

Anjelica Huston (Daughter of John Huston), "A Walk with Love and Death" (1969)
directors who cast their kids, Anjelica Huston John Huston
Here's the first case that doesn't revolve around acting ability or the director casting their kid simply because it's their kid. Kind of. Essentially, John Huston shouldn't have given the role of Claudia to his daughter because she was a huge brat about it. And about NOT wanting to be in it at that. We're not even going to express our opinion on it more than that. We'll let this quote from Anjelica herself do the talking for us: "I wasn't crazy about the part. I was a big snob at the time. I felt that the script was a bit saccharine. ... And dad wouldn't let me wear makeup, which was seriously problematic. So the whole thing was a bit of a debacle." (source)

Maude and Iris Apatow (Daughters of Judd Apatow), "This is 40" (2012)
directors who cast their kids, Maude Apatow Iris Apatow Judd Apatow
Judd Apatow should have just called this film "This is My Family with Paul Rudd," because that's why it sucks. If you want to sniff your own farts, at least cast actual actors so it feels like a movie and not just watching a rich person try to tackle the hardships of growing older. Seriously, the problems in this film are not the average person problems, and the fact that you put your entire family in it as the leads shows that "This is Not Relatable," either. This is the end of the list.

 

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How to Interpret Texts From Someone You Don't Like

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Quite a bit can get lost in translation when sending a text message. You can't express tone, so it's up to the recipient to decide what you were trying to say and how you were saying it. Key & Peele had a hilarious sketch on how texts can be misinterpreted between friends, but what about when the text is from someone that you don't like or you already suspect may be upset with you?

The Co-Worker

What they said:
Texts Interpreted

What they meant:
Texts Interpreted


The Boss

What they said:
Texts Interpreted

What they meant:
Texts Interpreted


The Ex

What they said:
Texts Interpreted

What they meant:
Texts Interpreted


The Family Member

What they said:
Texts Interpreted

What they meant:
Texts Interpreted


The Passive Aggressive Friend

What they said:
Texts Interpreted

What they meant:
Texts Interpreted


The Neighbor

What they said:
Texts Interpreted

What they meant:
Texts Interpreted


The Guy You Went on a Date with and Instantly Disliked

What they said:
Texts Interpreted

What they meant:
Texts Interpreted


The Cell Phone Provider

What they said:
Texts Interpreted

What they meant:
Texts Interpreted

 

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Your 2015 Super Bowl Party Seating Chart

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Well, we're less than a week away to the big day. By now, you probably have accepted an invite to a Super Bowl party, or maybe you're even hosting one yourself. Regardless of where you'll be, you can be 100% certain that every single one of these people will be present as well.

Super Bowl funny, Super Bowl Party funny, Super Bowl Party Seating Chart

 

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Lackluster Millionaire Quarterback Jay Cutler Can't Seem to Handle His Kids Either

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If you've ever wondered what Jay Cutler -- the apathetic, overpaid, turnover-plagued quarterback of the Chicago Bears -- is like as a dad, his wife Kristin Cavallari provided some insight via her Instagram account over the weekend. Here's a screenshot of a text exchange between her and her husband:

jay cutler fed up dad, jay cutler funny text kristin cavallari
Cavallari captioned the photo: Contrary to what many people think, we don't have a thousand nannies. So with that being said, when I got home from LA 2 days ago this is what I landed to. Pretty hilarious. Ladies, u want your man to appreciate u? Leave them alone with the kids to see what we deal with!

So how does Cutler deal with being left alone with his two kids?

I'm about to leave.

Go Bears.

More fun with texting: Hilariously Awkward Breakup Texts

 

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Jayla Jade is an Aussie Goddess

The 10 Weirdest Sex Toys Of The 21st Century

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We're living in the future, friends, and science pervades every aspect of our lives. Even - especially - what we do in the bedroom. Sex toys have exploded in popularity in the last few decades, and some of them are pretty freaking bizarre. Here's our guide to the most batcrap crazy sex toys released in the 21st century.

The Vajankle

A number of the toys on this list are going to fall into the general category of "things you put your penis into," but in that category is room for a lot of deviancy. Case in point: the Vajankle, which caters to either foot fetishists or serial murderers. At first inspection, it looks like a normal silicone left foot, until you notice that at the ankle joint there's a realistic vagina built in. You can pick your choice of skin color and pedicure to really complete your disturbing fantasy. The creator also sells a right foot that doesn't have a vagina built in, but why would you want that? (Photo courtesy of: Imgur)

Cup Nude

Disguising sex toys as commonplace household objects is a hot trend, but this Japanese invention goes a little too far. The Cup Nude, from the outside, resembles the traditional Nissin Cup O'Noodles Styrofoam container. But inside lurks something a little weirder than a MSG-laden dorm room meal. Peel off the foil top and you'll discover a pink penis receptacle and a packet of gel to squeeze into it. After you've done your dirty business into the cup, remove the receptacle and throw it away. Just don't get it confused with a regular Cup O'Noodles - those dried noodles are sharp. (Photo courtesy of: Imgur)

Death By Orgasm Scorpion Vibrator

Most vibrators are either very utilitarian-looking - take the iconic Hitachi Magic Wand, for example - or sort of cutesy. That's not the case with the utterly macabre Death By Orgasm Scorpion Vibrator. Coming packaged in a metal coffin-shaped carrying case, this jet black vibe is housed inside a scorpion-shaped elastomer sleeve, so you can pretend that you're being brought to orgasm by a predatory arthropod with a venom-tipped tail. Apparently the elastomer sleeve is a little fluid-permeable, so you won't want to share your orgasm scorpion with partners without thoroughly washing it first. (Photo courtesy of: Amazon)

Kochi Anime Sex Doll

Blow-up dolls have been a staple of the pervert's arsenal for decades, but as fetishes get more intense, they need to evolve with the times. Enter the Kochi Anime Sex Doll, the perfect air-filled companion for the lonely weeaboo in your life. This terrifying creature is molded to look like a woman from Japanese animation, but you'll quickly discover that what works in two dimensions gets very disturbing when it's brought into three. Her giant, dead eyes coupled with a gaping mouth and terrifyingly unrealistic genitals are horrifying. (Photo courtesy of: Imgur)

Jackhammer Jesus

Divine Interventions is a company that specializes in one thing: making sex toys inspired by history's most important religious figures. So we're talking Buddha butplugs, silicone Satan schlongs and the like. Probably their most sacrilegious creation is the Jackhammer Jesus, a seven-inch dildo shaped like the Son of God nailed to the cross. The bars of the span are perfect for getting a solid grip as you plunge the Savior into your darkest recesses. This is the kind of thing you should probably talk to a therapist about (Photo courtesy of: Divine Interventions)

Glory Hole To Go

The concept of a glory hole has always seemed pretty sketchy to me - you poke your unit through a hole in a wall and something on the other end does... something to it. That's two too many "somethings" for me to be comfortable with. But if you're craving some glory hole action and don't have a sledgehammer to knock out some drywall, why not invest in a Glory Hole To Go? This portable canvas panel with a waist-high opening can be set up in just a few minutes and it's machine washable in case things get too crazy. (Photo courtesy of: Glory Hole to Go)

Squildo

Fanciful dildo designs are a big market in the 21st century, with rubber peckers designed to look like just about everything that fits inside a vagina. One of the most demented in recent memory is the Squildo, patterned after the aquatic cephalopod that tastes so good breaded and fried. The business end of the Squildo (which was for sale by Etsy user Free Range Silicone for a while) is traditionally penis-shaped, but the other side features a realistic squid head and a set of tentacles. At $138, this is a bit of an investment. (Photo courtesy of: Tumblr)

Fleshlight Freaks

If there's a sex toy success story of the 21st century, it's Fleshlight. With an aggressive marketing campaign, they've made their male masturbation toys the overwhelming market leader. But with success comes experimentation, and the Fleshlight Freaks line shows that even the best can get weird. These penis sleeves take the traditional vagina-tube design and tart it up to evoke fictional creatures like Frankenstein (the opening has fake stitches molded into it), zombies ("rotting flesh") and the blue aliens from "Avatar" (it's blue). Why you would want to pretend you're having sex with any of those things remains a mystery. (Photo courtesy of: Fleshlight)

Electro Sex Gloves

Let's move away from the traditional definition of "sex" to get weird with this product from the Netherlands. The Rimba Electro Sex gloves are designed for those people who need a little something extra to get off - namely, high voltage. Plug the gloves into the power box (sold separately), smear a little conductive gel on your target and then get busy zapping them. Apparently getting electric current put through your body is sexy for some people. The manufacturers recommend that it not be used by individuals wearing a pacemaker for their heart condition. (Photo courtesy of: Church of Invention)

Vergil The Drippy Dragon

Only in a world as bizarre as ours could a company make big bucks selling imitation dragon penises, but that's exactly what Bad Dragon does. Since 2008, they've been creating increasingly bizarre sex toys that come complete with fantastic depictions of what the horny monsters they're "modeled after" do with them. Everything they sell is insane, but I had to single out "Vergil The Drippy Dragon," a lizard wang that you can get in sizes up to ten inches long with a tube in the middle that lets it squirt out lubricant on command. Yikes. (Photo courtesy of: Bad Dragon)

See Also: This Is Why You Don't Let Your Toddler Get Into Your Personal Stuff

 

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Today's Funny Photos

Photographic Proof That Taking Selfies In A Speeding Car Is Really Stupid

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Just in case you didn't know, taking selfies in a car while you're flying down the road at almost twice the speed limit is not a good idea. But just in case you're still on the fence about this, let's take a look at the four photos below. Let's start with the original selfie...

"Look at us. We're such a hot couple. We live life dangerously, but look good doing it."
selfie car crash

"Here's proof that we're driving outrageously fast. Because pics or it didn't happen."
selfie car crash

"I'm currently upside down in an overturned car but I'm so vain that I must snap a selfie. Even if it's my last."
selfie car crash

"Look at my sad, bloody face. Feel bad for me, even though this was entirely my fault."
selfie car crash

Via Brazil Shit

 

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Surprisingly Inspiring Drunk Notes Left Behind By Drunk Folks

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With the last remaining functional brain cells left in their sloshed melons, some of the best drunk notes are written with great intention. Whether to inspire, explain the secret purpose of life or to remind us that there is a leftover Hot Pocket in the microwave, these drunk notes were given to us by a higher power: alcohol. Enjoy some of the world's greatest messages left by drunk people either to others or their sober selves of the future.

funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes
funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes
funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes
funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes
funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes
funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes
funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes
funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes
funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes
funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes
funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes
funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes
funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes
funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes
funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes
funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes
funny drunk notes, drunk notes left behind, hilarious drunk notes

 

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This Parking Meter Tombstone is the Funniest Gravesite You Will Ever Pay Your Respects At

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They say you should always leave 'em laughing and Barbara Sue Manire really took that message to heart. And to her grave.

Below you can see photos of a real gravesite in Okemah, Oklahoma. Take a closer look at what's going on there and we'll explain after the pics.

funny tombstone
funny tombstone

Manire passed away in 2005. Before she died, she always told her family members that she wanted a tombstone that reflected her sense of humor. As Barbara Sue's daughter, Sherri Ann Weeks, explained, the parking meter was her mom's idea: "Mom always said she wanted a parking meter with 'time expired.' And she wanted to be on the front row of the cemetery so she could see what was going on. We gave her what she wanted."

The meter wasn't installed until a year after Manire passed away, when her children purchased a meter on eBay and installed it. It notes "64 year time limit," (Manire was 64 years old when she died) and continues to get plenty of attention 10 years later.

Via Snopes

 

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The 10 Best 'Saturday Night Live' Players of All Time

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"Saturday Night Live" is an institution. And it's been inhabited by comic maniacs since its premiere in 1975. Its 40-year run has been through highs and lows, but its highs have brought about brilliant comedy insights and culture-defining moments. Many unbelievably talented performers have graced the 8H stage, but there have, of course, been standouts. Here are the top 10 cast members from throughout the show's side-splitting history.

No. 10 - Billy Crystal
greatest saturday night live players, billy crystal
Some people may think that other comedic heavyweights would belong on this list instead of Billy Crystal. We disagree. What is most notable about his contributions to "SNL" as a player is that they all took place during one season. Season 10 was an odd one. Creator Lorne Michaels didn't work there any longer and most of Season 9's cast had been let go and replaced by tested professionals: he, Harry Shearer, Christopher Guest, and Martin Short among them. It became a true showcase for reliably madcap comedy which didn't disappoint. But Crystal was the undisputed captain of this ship and his characters, particularly Fernando Lamas, had America talking. Crystal was definitely integral in making "SNL" exciting TV again and though the season was short - a writer's strike stuck it down to only 17 episodes - the memorable moments were huge.

No. 9 - Phil Hartman
greatest saturday night live players, phil hartman
It seems if this was a list of most beloved cast members, maybe even from an insider's perspective, Phil Hartman would fall in at Number One. His nickname, The Glue, tells you all you need to know about this solid comedian. He was there to outshine the spotlight or hold a sketch together with background support. Both he did amazingly, and his onstage expertise showed a born performer. He was also laugh-out-loud funny, with a booming voice, leading man's posture and a wily smile that usually signaled predictably unpredictable hilarity ahead.

No. 8 - Dan Aykroyd
greatest saturday night live players, dan ackroyd
Dan Aykroyd was "SNL's" first Everyman. He could go from straight man to a wild and crazy guy with unbelievable ease. His ordinary appearance belied a fierce comic within. One that could talk faster, connect deeper, and generally astound more grandly than most performers who would ever go on to proceed him on the studio 8H stage. And while the spotlight seemed to adhere more firmly to some of his co-stars - specifically the three original cast members to follow on this list, Aykroyd served as the troupes backbone and the humor he wrought upon the mid-70s television audience - whom had never seen a sketch show like this before - broke incredible new ground and helped redefine what comedy was and how we see it today. Not bad for a Canadian.

No. 7 - Chris Farley
greatest saturday night live players, chris farley
Like his build, on stage Chris Farley was an enormous presence. And though his physical stature made him stick out from fellow Bad Boys Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, and David Spade anyway, comedically he more than held his own. Yes, he was a towering hulk but he played up his vulnerabilities, his self-consciousness, bringing an opposing complexity to his humor. Also, he was not afraid to let himself all hang out, quite literally, yet even something as simple as his giggle could light audiences up with laughter. And Matt Foley, his outrageous motivational speaker, has become the only one in that business we'd ever want to take advice from.

No. 6 - Chevy Chase
greatest saturday night live players, chevy chase
Like Billy Crystal, what's impressive about Chevy Chase's impact on "SNL" is that as large as it is, he too only lasted one season. But what sets Chase apart is that as an original member he helped launch the series into the stratosphere. He was the first to say, "Live from New York..." at the end of the opening sketch. He was the first to anchor Weekend Update, which immediately became a celebrated entry into television history. He portrayed President Ford - looking nothing like him with his leading man good looks - as a buffoon and that perception stuck on to the real life Commander-in Chief-with a power that surprised everyone. Chase's smug, smart aleck personality was embraced by fans of this wild new late night comedy show, and his face became its face as it embarked on its accidental voyage to becoming a cultural landshark. Landmark, we mean landmark.

No. 5 - Gilda Radner
greatest saturday night live players, gilda radner
She wasn't a bombshell, but she made comedy beautiful in a way perhaps no woman had done before. While her outward appearance was delicate and fragile, the characters Gilda Radner inhabited were steely and strong. Her outrageous journalist, Roseanne Roseannadanna, for example, was beloved for her uncompromising bombast which brought Seismic belly laughs that some are still trying to recover from all these years later. Also an original player, she was the First Lady of "SNL", and one whose brilliance and comic timing has not been duplicated since. A true one-of-a-kind, Radner didn't court cheap laughs, she earned them with all her might, exposing her angelic soul in the process. She such a pro, who labored as a comedienne, yet it all appeared effortless.

No. 4 - Dana Carvey
greatest saturday night live players, dana carvey
When it comes to shape shifters, nobody could quite morph like Dana Carvey. He was a comic chameleon who attacked each character with smarts, ease, and a humor that seemed to ooze right out of him and onto an audience hungry for whatever he was serving, and always starving for more. Carvey had a Willie Wonka quality to him, with a different kind of psychosis - one that didn't include entrapping children into their own disfigurement. For he was the biggest kid in the 8H candy store who didn't just toss out treats to us - he made it rain. And his piously demonic Church Lady was perhaps, next to Prozac's emergence, the best thing about the mid-'80s hands down.

No. 3 - Will Ferrell
greatest saturday night live players, will ferrell
A giant-sized man-child who, like Phil Hartman, could hold a sketch together simply with his presence or happily blow it apart with his trademark lunacy. And blow it apart he would, quickly proving himself one of the wildest "SNL" players to come around in a very long time. He brought to the live stage a kegmaster's devotion to party hidden inside a Student Council President's sober demeanor. A timebomb in sheep's clothing, Ferrell incorporated all he had into his comedy, including his tall frame, to keep audiences in stitches. And while his impressions were not as spot on as say, Carvey or Crystal, with his energy coursing through them, they became as famous as the comedian himself.

No. 2 - Eddie Murphy
greatest saturday night live players, eddie murphy
It seems in some ways modern comedy lovers were just biding their time until Eddie Murphy burst onto the scene. "SNL" surely was, with its revolutionary original cast retired, Lorne Michaels gone with them, and all subsequent casts flailing and failing, Murphy swooped in from out of nowhere - well, technically from across the bridge in Brooklyn - and saved the whole ship from sinking with his raw and delirious comic sensibility. He was simply electrifying on a show whose lights had long burnt out and, with Joe Piscopo as backup, returned "SNL" to the shimmering marquee it once was. He could play a Little Rascal, green clay humanoid, ghetto-dwelling kiddie show host, countless celebrities, and white guys with such edginess and brilliance that audiences literally saw comedy advancing to a new level right before their very eyes.

No. 1 - John Belushi
greatest saturday night live players, john belushi
Chevy Chase may have gotten most of the mainstream attention at first, but as an original cast member, John Belushi was a mesmerizing force of nature who through his four-year tenure, brought "SNL" from obscure late night experiment to the standard bearer of what American comedy is today. He was ferocious on stage, bringing down the house with every swipe of his samurai sword, eyebrow arch, or catatonic fit that launched him off camera. When this large man appeared on stage in a bee costume, for instance, a wide-eyed '70s audience knew something huge was going on. He could sing, he could dance, and he could make people laugh in ways they never knew they could. He was the fraternity brother everyone wanted as a drinking buddy, and in film, they finally got their wish. Drug use took him away way too soon. That and cancer and murder claimed three others on this list as well. But broadcasting live from Studio 8H, everyone here made Saturday nights worth staying home for, and Belushi led their pack. (All photos via NBC/Photofest)

 

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Watch These People Lose Their Minds Testing Out Virtual Reality Porn

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Porn has come a long way over the years. It used to be something that was difficult to get your hands on. Now it's pretty much impossible to avoid the second you turn on a laptop or look at your phone. Well things are going one step further now, with the creation of virtual reality porn.

But how good can it really be? The good folks at Complex brought in a bunch of test subjects to find out. And their reactions are all pretty hilarious -- and not's even taking into account how ridiculous all of them look with those bulky headsets on.

Via Complex

 

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15 Facts About History's Geniuses That Will Make You Question Their Genius

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It seems the greater the genius, the greater the eccentricities. From scatology to incest, from bad hygiene to grave-robbing, these brilliant men personify 'mad genius' in its truest sense. Let's take a look at some of the "dumbest" behaviors of some of the smartest men in history (Now with more incest!)


1. Albert Einstein married his cousin, Elsa Einstein, in 1919.


2. Aristotle's mistress was named Herpyllis. A total red flag.


3. Mozart was deeply into scat. He wrote letters to his cousin Maria expressing how he'd like to "sh*t on her nose" and let it "run down her chin." He also said this gem: "Stick a finger in my a**, then put it to my nose." Clearly, he was into his cousin.


4. Danish astronomer Tycho Brahe had a habit of holding his pee at the dinner table. He thought it was rude to get up. One night at a banquet in Prague in 1601, he held it too long and developed a kidney infection. Brahe's bladder exploded less than two weeks later.


5. Michelangelo rarely bathed or changed his clothes. He almost always slept in his boots. One of his assistants once complained, "He has sometimes gone so long without taking (his shoes) off that then the skin came away, like a snake's, with the boots."


6. Charles Darwin and his first cousin, Emma Darwin, had 10 children. Seems an odd choice given the man's theory on survival of the fittest, as children of incest don't typically end up very fit.


7. James Joyce is regarded as one of the 20th century's most influential writers. He was also a huge pervert. In love letters to his partner Nora Barnacle, he wrote some of the rankest sh*t I have ever seen. Here are some highlights:

o. "My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter."
o. "You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I f*cked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole."
o. "Goodnight, my little farting Nora, my dirty little f*ckbird!"
o. "The smallest things give me a great c*ckstand - a whorish movement of your mouth, a little brown stain on the seat of your white drawers..."



8. 'William Shakespeare' is an anagram of 'I am a weakish speller.' Another anagram is 'He, I will make ass rape!'


9. Salvador Dali's asked his friend to give him an exorcism in 1947. Dali presented Italian friar Gabriele Maria Berardi with a sculpture of Christ as a thank-you gesture.


10. Galileo thought the ocean's tides were caused by the speeding up and slowing down of the Earth's axis around the sun. What an idiot.


11. Johann Sebastian Bach married his second cousin and had seven children with her. She also happens to be named Maria. What the hell is happening?


12. Thomas Edison adopted quite the eccentric diet in the late 1920s: He believed consuming only milk could treat his ulcer and diabetes. He drank a pint every three hours and eventually his blood sugar shot through the roof. He succumbed to death in 1931


13. Leonardo da Vinci was a certified grave robber (he dug up at least 30 corpses to study their anatomy).


14. According to Nikola Tesla biographer and inventor Andrija Puharich, Tesla's only student once asked him why he never had sex. Tesla pulled down his pants and revealed that he had no balls. It is heavily rumored Tesla castrated himself to give his "big head" more attention than his "little head."


15. Edgar Allan Poe married his 13-year-old cousin, Virginia Clemm, in 1835 ... when he was 27. Alright...I'm done.

 

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Lisalla Wilson Likes it Humid

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Lisalla Wilson has been kind enough to take us on a little adventure into the hothouse with just her and a few jungle inspired bikinis. Shot by Maxim, the short features the Brazilian beauty right at home in her tropical climate, sweaty and smiling, just the way we like her. For more sexy shots of Brazil's hottest mama, check out more Lisalla Wilson.

 

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Caitlin McSwain is the Internet's Sexiest Girl This Month

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Caitlin McSwain is Playboy's Cybergirl of the Month. We could stop right there and that would be more than enough, but we want to drive home how much this hot model deserves your attention. Although Brittny Ward was centerfold for January, Playboy Plus is doing their best to keep up and give us something from the cybersphere, and this month Caitlin McSwain is your girl. And no, her ass will not quit no matter how hard it tries. Watch this very seductive video featuring the very sexy Caitlin McSwain.

 

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Michele Maturo is a Model Who Makes Us Happy

Son Finds Out Dad is Cheating, Consoles Mom With Funny Sympathy Card

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A guy named Ryan's mom recently found out that his dad had been cheating on her. Ryan felt bad for his mom, so he wanted to get her a nice card to offer his support and comfort her. However, we all know that they don't really make nice cards for this type of situation, so Ryan had to improvise:

dad is cheating sympathy card, dad's an asshole sympathy card
Nice job, Ryan. And we have a feeling that "Dad's an asshole" may become a common phrase used in your family for years to come.

Via Reddit (Citrous_Oyster)

 

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10 Major Female Celebrity Photoshop Fails

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Sadly, we're all used to Photoshop in magazines. It's become the industry standard. But the practice of a technological nip/tuck has morphed into the larger world, including social media. Call us the Photoshop Police, because these photos need to be ticketed.

celebrity photoshop fails, lindsay lohan photoshop fail bathroom
Lindsay recently posted this pic and a lot of people were like whaaat? Something just isn't right. Her stomach is too flat and the shape of her backside seems like a lipo procedure gone awry. Also, many commenters pointed out the slanted bottles in the background, which would suggest the use of the Photoshop stretch tool. We can only hope it's pixels gone wrong rather than reality.

celebrity photoshop fails, tara reid photoshop fail
Earlier this year "Sharknado" star Tara Reid posted this on Instagram. We think her waist looks unnaturally jagged, but maybe it's just a trick of the eye.

Celebrity Photoshop Fails, Beyonce photoshop fail stairs
Beyonce posted this pic in which the stairs between her thighs clearly look tampered with. This wasn't Beyonce's first time at the Photoshop rodeo either. We couldn't resist reposting this pic:

celebrity photoshop fails, beyonce golfing photoshop fail
Does anyone believe her legs are that skinny?

Celebrity Photoshop Fails, Coco Halloween corset fail
Coco, she of big backside fame, got into the Photoshopping game after posting a Halloween shot. We love corsets, but this one looks more technological than man-made.

Celebrity Photoshop Fails, Miranda Kerr on carpet photoshop fail
We're not sure why Victoria's Secret hottie Miranda Kerr needed any help in her Instagram photo. Maybe she just lives in a world where the hotel carpet likes to bend "Matrix"-style around her legs?

Celebrity Photoshop Fails, Mariah Carey album cover photoshop
Mariah Carey got a lot of flak for the cover of her album Me. I Am Mariah in which, well, she doesn't look like the voluptuous songstress of recent years. Think we're wrong? You make the call.

Celebrity Photoshop Fails, Britney Spears Candies photoshop
Britney Spears was clearly Photoshopped for her Candies ad a few years ago. But it was actually Britney who released the original images from the photo shoot along with the Photoshopped final ads in order "to highlight the pressure exerted on women to look perfect."

Celebrity Photoshop Fails, Cameron Diaz Interview cover fail
Of course magazines Photoshop all the time. And we're fairly used to it, so we really only notice when it's egregious, such as Cameron Diaz on the cover of the Russian version of Interview magazine. It's like she took a trip through the transporters from "The Fly" alongside the DNA of David Bowie.

One of film's most famous examples of Photoshopping a movie poster was Keira Knightley for "King Arthur," in which her breasts were noticeably enlarged. She said later, "I think women's bodies are a battleground and photography is partly to blame. Our society is so photographic now, it becomes more difficult to see all of those different varieties of shape." Knightley would later protest Photoshop in the most awesome way by posing topless.

Celebrity Photoshop Fails, Jennifer Lawrence photoshop GQ
Finally, there's "Hunger Games" goddess Jennifer Lawrence (pre-"The Fappening") with her photoshoot for GQ. Why they felt the need to improve on perfection is beyond us.

 

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Today's Funny Photos

This Guy Lost the Tip of His Finger Taking Out The Trash (Warning: Graphic Photo)

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finger tip cut off, partial amputation of middle finger
So here's the edited photo. If you have the stomach for it, keep scrolling to see the disgusting and graphic photo of his totally severed fingertip. In the meantime, here's the story...

Two weekends ago, after a long Sunday of yard work, my friend Pat had filled his green bin to the brim with dead leaves, sticks and other compostable materials. Later that evening around 10 pm, he remembered that he needed to take the bin to the curb for Monday morning pickup.

It probably would have been better if he'd just forgotten.

As Pat was pushing the heavy green bin downhill toward the street, it got a little out of control. He kept holding on trying to slow it down, but eventually the momentum was too much and the bin came crashing down on its handle. The force of the fall pulled Pat on top of the bin, but unfortunately -- and disgustingly -- his left hand got caught underneath. All of the weight landed on his middle finger, and much to his shock and horror, severed the tip of it. Cleanly.

I asked Pat to send me a photo of his finger, not quite sure what to expect. I don't know why I felt this way, because yep, it's a severed fingertip alright. Are you ready? OK, here it is:

finger tip cut off, partial amputation of middle finger
Yeah, that's pretty nasty, but there's one more.

Warning: It's very gross. Like, super incredibly gross.

Still want to see it? All right, here you go...

finger tip cut off, partial amputation of middle finger
So yeah, there is his middle finger with the tip missing. Pat says these photos were taken as he was waiting in a hospital room (a neighbor gave him a lift to the ER), before he had seen the doctor. But the story gets even more horrific.

Immediately after the accident, Pat ran inside to wrap the wound and make a tourniquet around his finger to stop the bleeding. With adrenaline coursing through his veins, he went back down to where the bin fell and was able to find the severed tip of his finger.

"It looked like a little helmet," he said. "It was pretty surreal to find a chunk of your own finger and just put it in your pocket."

Pat also had his fingernail ripped off in the ordeal, which he thinks explains hearing his finger "go POP!" The final diagnosis was a partial amputation of the middle finger with the loss of an eighth of an inch of bone. Sadly, the doctor told him that reattaching the fingertip was not going to work, but did offer comfort that it would heal properly and possibly even grow back over the course of several months.

Oh, and here's one last slice of irony just for good measure. Pat told me he was working with sharp tools in his yard for a good chunk of that day, and had spent the entire week prior using blades and power tools to build a potting bench -- which he also completed that afternoon. Then, he goes and loses his fingertip by simply taking out the trash.

P.s. This all went down on his birthday (seriously).

 

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