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Big Fall Music Tours To See Now That Summer Is Ending

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Summer might technically be over, but the fall music tours are just getting hot. After a number of summer festivals, the inner rock star in us all can get out and slow head bang as we watch the leaves fall. Except in Los Angeles, where people will binge on fall TV or watch people their parent's age attempt to wear skinny jeans, studded belts and blow lines of Viagra before they head in to see Mötley Crüe. The point is - yes, there is a point - fall tours are underway, and the weather has never been better for lifting your cellphone up in the air in a crowd.

Dave Matthews Band
Music, Entertainment, Rock Tours To See This Summer
Shoreline Amphitheater, Mountain View, CA (Sept. 11)
Following another strong summer tour, DMB will head to Shoreline before hanging their hats, but not with releasing a gorge of live music. It was recently announced the band will release two
live volumes in the fall, one from their 2009 tour and one dating back to 1994, a few years after the band got its start.

Foo Fighters
Music, Entertainment, Rock Tours To See This Summer
The Forum, Los Angeles (Sept. 21-23)
Their main man, Dave Grohl, might be on the DL with a leg injury, but he's far from out. After hitting up the summer festival circuit, Growl and his Foo Fighters continue to carry on into fall, even if that means he has to play sitting down on a throne of rock 'n roll.

AC/DC
Music, Entertainment, Rock Tours To See This Summer
AT&T Park, San Francisco, CA (Sept. 25)
They may have more than four decades under their belt, but that doesn't mean these Australian rockers are too old to get down with a nice pair of cut-off shorts. Despite founding member, Malcolm Young's diagnosis of cancer and dementia earlier in 2015, the band continues on into the fall after headlining big festivals like Coachella.

Kanye West
Music, Entertainment, Rock Tours To See This Summer
Hollywood Bowl, Los Angeles, CA (Sept. 25 & 26)
It doesn't matter how much you dislike the guy, his "808's & Heartbreak" is considered one of modern hip hop's greatest masterpieces of the last 15 years, and Kanye is coming to town to celebrate the 2008 album in its entirety at one of the most renowned outdoor venues in America. This is what happens when you get carried away with your clothing line and becoming a controversial celebrity with a serious god complex: You revisit the glory days to keep people liking you. Luckily for Kanye, we love "808's & Heartbreak" and eagerly await his next album, "SWISH."

The Who
Music, Entertainment, Rock Tours To See This Summer
KeyArena, Seattle, WA (Sept. 27)
The Who Hits 50! Amongst 50 years of windmill strums and solo misadventures, Roger Daltrey, Pete and the rest of The Who are going out with a band after five decades of rocking. That's pretty much all there is to say after 50 years.

The War on Drugs
Music, Entertainment, Rock Tours To See This Summer
Radio City Music Hall, New York, NY (Oct. 8)
After touching down on the biggest summer festivals, Kurt Vile's former band, The War on Drugs, continues on with last year's "Lost in a Dream" as they reach the tail-end of their tour cycle. Their show at Radio City Music Hall is their final tour date. Don't miss it.

Neil Young
Music, Entertainment, Rock Tours To See This Summer
The Cosmopolitan, La Vegas, NV (Oct. 11)
Another lead singer to fly solo successfully to this day, Neil Young won't just be tearing down the house in Sin City this fall, he'll also be entering the doorway into his 70s in November. You thought he was already 80, didn't you? Well, that's what rock 'n roll would have you believe, but the man continues to tour like a goddamn 20-something-year-old animal, shredding 16-minute songs with no end in sight.

Passion Pit
Music, Entertainment, Rock Tours To See This Summer
University of Rhode Island, Kingston, RI (Oct. 14)
Rock 'n roll's love bug, Passion Pit, is hitting up all the great L.A. venues like The Wiltern and the O.C.'s Observatory, but for all you east coasters with some free time, check out Passion Pit this October, too. In support of "Kindred," their spring 2015 release, the band continues to hit the pavement - the passion pavement - in support of their first release since 2012.

The National
Music, Entertainment, Rock Tours To See This Summer
The Troubadour, West Hollywood, CA (Oct. 16)
There's no much left on the books for The National, other than back-to-back Aspen shows around New Year's, but if you can manage to find tickets to either of the two sold-out benefit shows at Los Angeles' Troubadour, we highly recommend you do just that. We don't care who or what you have to sleep with.

Father John Misty
Music, Entertainment, Rock Tours To See This Summer
The Wiltern, Los Angeles (Oct. 16 & 17)
Marching on through until the end of the year in support of "I Love You, Honeybear," Josh Tillman, formerly of Fleet Foxes fame, continues to demonstrate his ability to fly solo. Somewhat deadpan and docile in his monotone M.C. persona, Tillman takes his listeners on an unexpected musical journey where his songs either resonate lyrically like they never have before, or he blows the doors off out of nowhere. Speaking from experience, it's quite a spectacle, as will his back-to-back shows in Los Angeles' Wiltern Theater.

Mötley Crüe
Music, Entertainment, Rock Tours To See This Summer
Webster Bank Arena, Bridgeport, CT (Oct. 16)
After a few summer months touring with special guest, Alice Cooper, the crew continues through the fall on into the winter, ending their tour with a three-night musical marathon at The Staples Center in L.A. Is this something you can afford to miss? Yes. But then you won't have anything to brag to your parents about, or scare the hell out of them with. Any chance to see Tommy Lee's dong potential flail is worth the likely absurd ticket price.

The Weeknd
Music, Entertainment, Rock Tours To See This Summer
Madison Square Garden, New York, NY (Nov. 16)
What would fall be without a little Canadian R&B? The Weeknd - young Abel Tesfaye isn't quite as badass - is pushing his sophomore release, "Beauty Behind the Madness," from August onto folks as he hits up some of the big arenas in your area. Madison Square Garden? He must be good. He must have an impressive Twitter following. Oh, 2.7 million and a shoutout to Jay-Z after he got to headline Made in America - the end of the summer festivals - nice!

 

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The Weekly Mandatory Meme Contest Winners: Doggie Bag

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Yesterday we asked you to use our meme generator to create some hilarious memes to unleash on the Internet. There were a lot of entries, but we managed to narrow it down to these fine and deserving winners. Congratulations, you truly understand what the Internet is all about. And to those of you who lost...oh well, there's always next week!

Speaking of which, get a head start and create a new meme for next week's contest right here.

meme contest winners, doggie bag
Submitted by: bart

meme contest winners, doggie bag
Submitted by: harvey

meme contest winners, doggie bag
Submitted by: jordan

meme contest winners, doggie bag
Submitted by: josh vieux

meme contest winners, doggie bag
Submitted by: Nikki

meme contest winners, doggie bag
Submitted by: bryan Simmons

meme contest winners, doggie bag
Submitted by: SLS

meme contest winners, doggie bag
Submitted by: Bishop

meme contest winners, doggie bag
Submitted by: harvey

meme contest winners, doggie bag
Submitted by: chris

 

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Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Steals His Sunglasses

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Remember when you were young and someone would ask you for a pencil and you would hesitate before handing it over because you knew you would never see it again? You would be irked about it for the rest of the day but eventually get over it. Well, something similar happened to the guy below. But instead of a pencil it was sunglasses. And instead of getting over it in a day it took him one year.

Check out what happened when that thief Anna borrowed some sunglasses from the guy below and didn't return them. She got a year's worth of texts.

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses
The guy broke out some Corey Hart.

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses
He still has hope in getting them back.

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses
He sure doesn't ask for a lot for his birthday. Simple guy.

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses
She might be his secret Santa. Who knows.


Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses
Slowly considering accepting a new pair into his life.

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses
I feel like David Caruso would post something similar.

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses
Give them up, Anna.

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses
Heartbreaking.

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses
Sounds fair.

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses
The woman is always right.

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses
The future is here.

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses
What the fuck, Anna? The man is having a breakdown.

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses
Saying goodbye is the hardest part.

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses
That awful woman finally responded.

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses
Weak excuse, Anna.

Funny, Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Takes Sunglasses
I'm just glad he was able to move on amicably.

Via Elite Daily

This texting exchange was a tad more aggressive: Guy Receives Wrong Number Text From Crazy Person And Replies With Hilarious Memes

 

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These People Knew Exactly How To Respond To Their Ex's Texts

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Sometimes your exes refuse to stay out of your life, so when they do reach out to you, you may be forced to break out your clever and witty ways and respond to them in the best way possible. Check out some people who brought their A game in response to their ex's texts.

Funny, Ex Text Responses, Hilarious Ex Text Responses

Funny, Ex Text Responses, Hilarious Ex Text Responses



Haha that's fucked up.. #comedy #breakups #extext #relationshipproblems #garbage #funnythings

A photo posted by Krystal Lynn (@kaceylynn510) on



It's 4am omg I should go to sleep now lol

A photo posted by I'm hungry (@extextposts) on






Funny, Ex Text Responses, Hilarious Ex Text Responses

Funny, Ex Text Responses, Hilarious Ex Text Responses


Ex gf/bf text you? Heres what you do XD #lolquotess #extexts

A photo posted by @dailyquotedoses on



Best reply to your ex. #extext #bestreply #instadaily #instadaily #like4like

A photo posted by Buzzed Boy (@buzzedboy) on



#ex #exxxactly #nope #gtfoh #extext #bye #aintfallingforit ✌

A photo posted by Pretty brown eyes (@thereal_chcgogrl3) on



Who's hungry? #ExTexts

A photo posted by Ex Texts (@ex_texts) on


Funny, Ex Text Responses, Hilarious Ex Text Responses

Funny, Ex Text Responses, Hilarious Ex Text Responses


I won't be hungry, for eternity.

A photo posted by yesterBAE (@textsfromyesterbae) on



😂😂😂😂😂😂 #extext #yes #lifestooshort

A photo posted by Carly 🏈❤️ (@carlyy_janee5) on


Via Buzzfeed

More burns: 11 Of The Meanest Ex Texts Of All Time

 

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These Tinder Girls Know How To Stand Out In A Group

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If you've ever been on Tinder you probably quickly discovered that a lot of women like to post group photos. This forces you to try and figure out which of the group of 100 is the girl you're swiping left or right for.

But the girls below made sure to stand out so that you wouldn't have to rack your brain trying to figure out who is who. And who wants to think anyway?

Funny, Tinder Girls, Tinder Girls Standing Out In Group Photos, Hot Tinder Girls
Oh great, now we have nothing to talk about.

Funny, Tinder Girls, Tinder Girls Standing Out In Group Photos, Hot Tinder Girls
I hope she also says this on her LinkedIn profile.

Funny, Tinder Girls, Tinder Girls Standing Out In Group Photos, Hot Tinder Girls
Actual sloths would never cock block.

Funny, Tinder Girls, Tinder Girls Standing Out In Group Photos, Hot Tinder Girls
I hope your friends like me.

Funny, Tinder Girls, Tinder Girls Standing Out In Group Photos, Hot Tinder Girls
This is a two for one deal I can get behind.

Funny, Tinder Girls, Tinder Girls Standing Out In Group Photos, Hot Tinder Girls
I hope her friends follow her around and point at her every time she enters a room.

Funny, Tinder Girls, Tinder Girls Standing Out In Group Photos, Hot Tinder Girls
The one with the pink dot is hot, too.

Funny, Tinder Girls, Tinder Girls Standing Out In Group Photos, Hot Tinder Girls
That was rough, Kelly.

Funny, Tinder Girls, Tinder Girls Standing Out In Group Photos, Hot Tinder Girls
A family that sticks together something something.

Funny, Tinder Girls, Tinder Girls Standing Out In Group Photos, Hot Tinder Girls
MS Paint pro.

Funny, Tinder Girls, Tinder Girls Standing Out In Group Photos, Hot Tinder Girls
Too fascinated not to swipe right.

Funny, Tinder Girls, Tinder Girls Standing Out In Group Photos, Hot Tinder Girls
Nothing like a mother and daughter bonding.

Funny, Tinder Girls, Tinder Girls Standing Out In Group Photos, Hot Tinder Girls
The one on the left looks like she's being held captive.

Via College Humor

Honesty is key: These Tinder Profiles Prove That Some People Have Zero Boundaries

 

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Guy Creates a Tinder PowerPoint Presentation And It Actually Attracted Plenty Of Women

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Aside from reminding us all of those awful, time consuming school projects that force you to crawl into a ball and cry anytime you think about, PowerPoint is apparently being used to attract women on Tinder. Well, it's being used by one guy anyway.

Austin, a 20-year-old, decided to be a little different when it came to his Tinder profile, so he created a PowerPoint presentation. Austin posted the slides to Reddit, and is now claiming he got over 70 matches. Guess it worked. Check out the slides below.

Funny, Tinder, PowerPoint Presentation On Tinder, Guy Creates PowerPoint Presentation On Tinder

Funny, Tinder, PowerPoint Presentation On Tinder, Guy Creates PowerPoint Presentation On Tinder

Funny, Tinder, PowerPoint Presentation On Tinder, Guy Creates PowerPoint Presentation On Tinder

Funny, Tinder, PowerPoint Presentation On Tinder, Guy Creates PowerPoint Presentation On Tinder

Funny, Tinder, PowerPoint Presentation On Tinder, Guy Creates PowerPoint Presentation On Tinder

Funny, Tinder, PowerPoint Presentation On Tinder, Guy Creates PowerPoint Presentation On Tinder

Funny, Tinder, PowerPoint Presentation On Tinder, Guy Creates PowerPoint Presentation On Tinder

He approached Tinder differently: This Guy Is Really Good At Messing With People On Tinder

 

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The Funniest GIFs of the Week

Two Guys On One Guitar Perform An Acoustic Cover Of Eminem's 'The Real Slim Shady' And It's Epic

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Not many people would be brave enough to cover an Eminem song, let alone attempt to do an acoustic version. But the two guys below had the courage to not only cover "The Real Slim Shady" acoustically, but to both play on one guitar. Check out the great performance below.


The guys in the video, Laurier Lachance and his guitar buddy Mathieu Paquin, even gave a shout out to Daniel Radcliffe in the video description. These guys are going places.

Someone covered Eminem using sign language: Eminem's 'Lose Yourself' In Sign Language Is Pretty Intense

 

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Man Snags Foul Ball From Woman Then Walks Away Like Major Tool

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I believe it was Robin Williams in "Good Morning, Vietnam" who said, "In the dictionary under 'asshole' it says 'See him.'"

The Oakland A's got curb stomped by the visiting Houston Astros last night 11-5, and that must have really chapped the A's faithful's asses something fierce. But you could make an argument that the six-run beating was way more merciful than this tool who grabbed a foul ball in front of a young lady and then held it high in the air for all to see as he walked away like a Class A prick.



Don't worry about it, miss, and look on the bright side. By the looks of things, you're going home to your own house tonight while that sleeveless jerk is probably going to have to tiptoe it down to the basement so he doesn't wake up his grandma.

h/t Barstool Sports

Now this is how it's done: Little Kid Catches Foul Ball, Uses It To Hit On Woman Behind Him

 

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Arizona Private School Refuses To Admit Former Porn Star's Kid

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Contrary to popular belief, having sex with Jenna Jameson apparently does have a downside.

According to Fox 10, the man who at one time was the only guy Jameson would fornicate with on camera is back in the news because a private school in Scottsdale refused to let his five-year-old son attend the first day of kindergarten.

jay grdina's kid can't go to school
Jay Grdina said his family received a letter from Scottsdale Christian Academy the day before school was scheduled to start stating that his son was no longer welcome because of Grdina's history in the porn biz. He was shocked because the application process started last December, and his son was accepted after multiple interviews.

Grdina (aka Justin Sterling) was once married to Jameson, but the couple split in 2006. He has since remarried and now obviously has a kid.

Grdina was involved with skin flicks until 2011. As an actor, the lucky s.o.b. was known as the only man who could have sex with Jameson on camera, doing so even after their divorce.

According to his IMDB page, Grdina was also heavily involved in producing gems such as "MILF School: Anal 101" and "Teenage Delinquents." He was also a producer for 1997's "Cheerleader Strippers," which we didn't see, but it sounds like it was extremely profitable.

The weird yet profitable world after porn: Former Pornstar Makes $5 Million A Year Unwrapping Toys On YouTube

 

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10 Times It's OK To Catcall A Woman On The Street

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Some men feel the need, from time to time, to catcall an attractive woman they see on the street. If you aren't familiar with this term it's when you yell something at a girl you don't know regarding her looks or how she's dressed, suggesting that you'd be interested in getting to know her on an intimate level. Has this ever been effective? Of course not. It's quite possibly the dumbest idea anyone has ever concocted, but chances are some of you might want to do it anyway. To help you figure out when it's appropriate, here are ten times it's completely appropriate to catcall a woman on the street.

Funny, Catcalling, 10 Times Catcalling Is Okay

1. NEVER! Are you kidding me? What part of yelling something about a girl's chest from a moving car seems like an intelligent idea in any way whatsoever? Do you think she's going to be so flattered that she writes down your license plate number and tracks you down through the DMV like some sort of bizarre, rejected Katherine Heigl rom-com from hell?

2. Nope!

Funny, Catcalling, 10 Times Catcalling Is Okay

3. You seriously think there's ever a good time to catcall a woman? In what garbage, outdated trash bro-movie are you living where you think yelling, "Aw yeah, girl! I like that!" is ever the least bit appropriate. I'm sure she woke up this morning thinking, "Boy I sure hope some guy wearing a backwards Yankees hat and cargo shorts drives by me in his Honda Civic and let's me know that he would accept me as a sexual partner! That would be grand!"

Funny, Catcalling, 10 Times Catcalling Is Okay

4. Still no appropriate time to do it!

Funny, Catcalling, 10 Times Catcalling Is Okay

5. A better alternative would be to ask your GPS to guide you to the nearest wooded area, drive there, and live amongst nature for the rest of your days where you'll avoid human contact and forage various berries and plants until you cease to exist.

Funny, Catcalling, 10 Times Catcalling Is Okay

6. So what if you're just walking and not in a car? ABSOLUTELY NOT! What is wrong with you? "Oh well she should appreciate a compliment." NO. NOT FROM YOU! You're the adult equivalent of a guy offering candy to a kid if they'll climb into his van.

Funny, Catcalling, 10 Times Catcalling Is Okay

7. You're a trash heap.

Funny, Catcalling, 10 Times Catcalling Is Okay

8. "But what if I'm yelling something mean instead of a compliment?" Oh great! Even better! Now you're a goblin who has decided to ruin a stranger's day, and possibly longer, by hurling an insult at them as you pass by. If you've ever done that I hope someone spoils the finale of every TV you ever watch for the rest of your life. I hope every bottle of soda that's ever opened in your house has been violently shaken beforehand. I hope you get violent diarrhea during every job interview you ever attend and your interviewer totally notices it. He heard your stomach gurgling and will forever associate your face with the smell of human waste.

unny, Catcalling, 10 Times Catcalling Is Okay

9. If your friends laugh and think it's cool then congratulations, you've found a group of idiots just as terrible as yourself. Good job!

Funny, Catcalling, 10 Times Catcalling Is Okay

10. OK, you want a good time to actually catcall a woman? Here it is. Let's say that you see a woman is on fire and she's going to die if someone doesn't put out the flames. Her friend is with her and realizes that this particular type of fire can only be extinguished by the catcalls of a douche hanging out the side of his car. When this moment happens, yell all the inappropriate phrases you want until you've saved that poor woman's life. Until this happens, shut up and keep driving.

 

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NFL Center Says He Drank His Own Urine After A Drug Test

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Despite the fact that it features the Houston Texans, HBO's "Hard Knocks" was extremely entertaining this year.

Whether it's head coach Bill O'Brien cussing like a sailor or defensive lineman Vince Wilfork sporting nothing but overalls and cowboy boots, you have to admit the producers really did their jobs well this time around and surprisingly found a great team to follow this preseason.

But perhaps nobody has shined as bright as the team's once no-named center Ben Jones, who admitted to O'Brien during the show's first episode that he once puked all over himself during a game in college. And that seems rather tame compared to the story he told several weeks ago where he drank his own urine following a drug test earlier this year.

ben jones once drank his own urine
"It kind of caught me off guard," Jones said. "It was a drug test day and I walked out, and (cornerback Kareem Jackson) said, 'That looks like apple juice.' I said, 'How much you pay me to drink this?' He threw out a number, and I just knocked it on back."

So if our calculations are correct, that means there are only two ways for either Jones or a teammate to one-up him. And even though it's HBO, either one would probably be too much for even them to air.

via Fox Sports

At least Jones drank his piss by choice: UK Man Arrested For Selling Whiskey That Was Really Feces And Urine

 

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'The Human Barbie' Continues To Show Off Her No-Makeup Look

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It's been a while since we've heard from Valeria Lukyanova, or as she's known all over, "The Human Barbie." The 30-year-old Ukrainian model is making the rounds again, though, as she is out to remind people that her look is all makeup magic by posting more pictures of herself without makeup.

Here is Valeria with the look that made her famous. Notice how she looks like an eerie doll dead set on coming to life and haunting you until you move out of your house:

красивый пляж благодаря @joamariee

A photo posted by Valeria Lukyanova (@valerialukyanova) on


And here she is with minimal makeup. Notice how she now looks like someone who people might even call a human:


Let's try this again. Below is "The Human Barbie" in all her glory, makeup and all, ready to steal your soul:

Girls, The Human Barbie, Valeria Lukyanova

And here she is again looking human. Your soul is safe.

Girls, The Human Barbie, Valeria Lukyanova

Here's "The Human Barbie" trying to decide if she's from this planet or from an Anime show:

Girls, The Human Barbie, Valeria Lukyanova

Take a look at the picture below. She's decided to stick with us. Her kind.

Girls, The Human Barbie, Valeria Lukyanova

Here are more somewhat makeup-less photos of Valeria before she makes herself look like a Barbie:

Girls, Human Barbie, Valeria Lukyanova Without Makeup, Human Barbie Without Makeup

Girls, Human Barbie, Valeria Lukyanova Without Makeup, Human Barbie Without Makeup

Girls, Human Barbie, Valeria Lukyanova Without Makeup, Human Barbie Without Makeup

Girls, Human Barbie, Valeria Lukyanova Without Makeup, Human Barbie Without Makeup

Girls, Human Barbie, Valeria Lukyanova Without Makeup, Human Barbie Without Makeup
Valeria, regardless, has made quite a bit of money as "The Human Barbie," so kudos to her. She certainly has committed herself to looking the way she wants to look just like I've committed myself to having the athletic agility of a 95-year-old man.

Do you even lift, bro? 'Human Barbie' Valeria Lukyanova Posts New Photos Of Cartoonish Figure

 

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Detective Hired To Catch Man's Cheating Wife Discovers His Own Son Is Her Lover

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In yet another case of an attractive teacher sleeping with one of her underage students, a private detective learned just what a small world it can be in all the wrong ways. According to Mirror Online, Utah dance instructor and former NBA cheerleader Amber Telford (pictured below) was being investigated by her husband's P.I. for adultery when it was discovered that she was, in fact, cheating on him. The twist was that the culprit was the detective's own 17-year-old son, a student of Telford's at the Colette Dancing School in Taylorsville.

woman sleeps with detective's son, woman sleeps with pi's son, amber telford facebook photo
Upon discovering the two under a blanket with their clothes "strewn all over the floor," the unnamed detective had Telford arrested. In exchange for pleading guilty to unlawful sexual activity with a minor, six identical charges were dropped against her, but she still spent the next 30 days in jail. After that, the court ordered an additional 150 hours of community service, complete probation and for Telford to register as a sex offender.

woman sleeps with detective's son, woman sleeps with pi's son, amber telford mugshot
According to court documents, Telford "started by flirting with (the teen) and eventually began a sexual relationship with him that occurred at her home, her mother's home and also in a vehicle belonging to Amber." This "flirting" they speak of was said to involve buying clothes for and paying for him to go to Disneyland for a dance competition. She would also occasionally pick the young lad up in the middle of the night and drive him to various locations to have sex.

Meanwhile, South Park P.D. has responded to the allegations with a resounding...
woman sleeps with detective's son, woman sleeps with pi's son

Want more stories like this? OK, weirdo, take your pick. The list goes on and on: Here's Yet Another Teacher Arrested For Sexually Abusing A Student

 

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Woman Reveals Birthmark Near Her Butt That Resembles A Dinosaur

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dinosaur birthmark, woman's dinosaur birthmark, turtle birthmark
Referred to as a "natural tramp stamp," this birthmark resembling the long extinct Brontosaurus (go ahead and call us out on a dinosaur it more closely resembles, nerds) is already making big waves on the Internet. Posted by user maximeindeed on Imgur just four days ago, it's been viewed nearly a quarter of a million times already. Here's a closer look at the supposed dino:

dinosaur birthmark, woman's dinosaur birthmark, turtle birthmark, dinosaur birthmark close-up
Now, you might be asking yourself, "How is this news? How is this anything for that matter?" Well, whether or not your opinion is valid is a moot point. It's taking America by storm, and you're going to sit there like the rest of us and watch it happen.

Of the natural tattoo itself, maximeindeed says, "Basically, it's a bigass birthmark, or dyspigmentation I believe it's called. I have always hated it and since I can remember I've said "when I'm older, I'm having it removed". As I got older however I have realized its charm and grown to love it." The shot below shows the birthmark inverted from the one above (but with so many mirror selfies involved, we have no clue which of these photos is the correct form).

dinosaur birthmark, woman's dinosaur birthmark, turtle birthmark
So what say you, adoring Mandatory audience? Not bad for a first post by maximeindeed at the very least, right? Personally, I'm not quite sure what all the hubbub is about, but perhaps there is more to this than meets the eye. Any insights will be appreciated in the comments.

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If the appeal of this birthmark to you is simply looking like something else, then you are sure to enjoy 18 Prominent Voice Actors and Their Characters They Most Closely Resemble

 

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Rainbow Forms At World Trade Center The Day Before 9/11 Anniversary

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911 rainbow, world trade center rainbow, 911 anniversary
Fitting and heartwarming all at once, a rainbow formed at the base of One World Trade Center today, just one day prior to the 14th anniversary of the tragic events of September 11th, 2001. If that doesn't boost the collective spirit of the good ol' U.S. of A., then nothing will.

911 rainbow, world trade center rainbow, 911 anniversary
Kudos to Ben Sturner for sharing his sweet pics with the world.

 

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Today's Funny Photos

Underground Artists You Should Be On The Lookout For

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While Banksy and other well-known faceless street artists continue to repave the way of modern art, there are a number of underground artists you should be on the lookout for. From acrylic and pastel landscapes to thick marker-soaked illustrations, there are a number of underground artists popping up on the surface to amuse the deranged and lifeless masses. On a mission to reinvigorate the world with bright colors and uniquely chosen canvasses, here are some of the hippest underground artists, some of which might be right under your nose, right this very moment.

Dasic
Underground Artists, The Top Ten Underground Artists
Dasic Fernandez, is the electrically colorful Chilean artist whose large-scale work has become more and more appreciated with the never-passing movement of street art. Dipped in bright and saturated colors of the rainbow, Dasic's existential portraiture has a lasting menage a trois with a neon acid trip - it'll take decades to fade - and a New York street wall. His work has become popular with the festival scene around New York, and rightfully so.

Tabby
Underground Artists, The Top Ten Underground Artists
Parody has become pop culture's shortcut to smiles and appreciation when it comes to modern art. Tabby is one of the prime examples of the growing spray paint and stencils phenomena that takes over for toilet papering households as an aspiring evening activity. The Australian-based street painter remains anonymous, though flourishing and more recognizable than ever all at once.

Zaria Forman
Underground Artists, The Top Ten Underground Artists
The Brooklyn artist is riding a recent wave of popularity with her pastel painted landscapes. From a distance, you might bet your bottom dollar you were staring into a series of photographs, but upon closer inspection, you can see the strokes of the very talented Zaria Forman. Expanding her Maldives collection into Icelandic glaciers, her works make photography look cheap and the abstract seem wasteful when you could be staring into a true masterpiece of supreme and unsurpassed talent.

Hula
Underground Artists, The Top Ten Underground Artists
Sean Yoro, also known as Hula, is taking street art to the water, surfing his way into lesser traveled bodies and working with the water's reflection in his portraiture. It's a clever and resourceful marriage between fine and street art, especially for someone who could take the easy route and use the beautifully popular walls of his native Hawaii.

Francisco de Pajaro (Art Is Trash)
Underground Artists, The Top Ten Underground Artists
Naysayers will tell you "art is trash," and never has the statement rang truer, as Francisco de Pajaro doesn't even let garbage go to waste, giving fun and somewhat disgusting life to everyday filth. For a generation of art lovers who are also becoming aware of their poor methods of disposal, this runt of the "litter" is taking back trash and recycling it in the best way someone who doesn't work in waste management can, especially for Spanish native visiting New York.

Hanksy
Underground Artists, The Top Ten Underground Artists
This man is my hero, slapping pop culture in the face, Tom Hank's face, that is. Every parody eventually gets a parody, and street artist Banksy is met by another anonymous face, Hanksy, who is taking Banksy-style art and adding Tom Hanks' face and movie references for added entertainment. I think it's Bill Murray, personally, behind all this. It makes total sense as far as great '80s movie references go.

Lord K2
Underground Artists, The Top Ten Underground Artists
Having a big name to live up to, Lord K2 is the London-born artist who saved up enough working in business to allow for a full-time career in art. With plenty of time, resources and an abundance of talent, Lord K2 is painting the town, from street art graffiti to fine art and photography. After picking up street stenciling in South America and laying down roots in New York, Lord K2 is now a renaissance man of the book world, fine art world and the streets of New York, whether he signs his work or not.

Tom Everhart
Underground Artists, The Top Ten Underground Artists
Tom Everhart, the New Yorker squatting on Venice Beach's Abbot Kinney, not only has the rights to Charles Schulz's "Peanuts" characters; he's got a great life story behind how he got his start in the fine art world. His recent installation, "I Got Ants in My Pants," is a continuation of his colorful take on the Snoopy character, giving a breath of fresh paint to a well-established, lovable cartoon within the fine art realm.

Priscilla Witte
Underground Artists, The Top Ten Underground Artists
Another Venice Beach local, Priscilla Witte is the pop-up illustrator whose spot-on eye for good energy has helped make every new and flourishing business in the hood feel right at home. Besides alarmingly charming and simplistic, her child-like illustrations are mixed with a refreshing taste of nostalgia and stirred with some honest PG-13 imagery that leave hoarding as many as you can for your bathroom walls. From Taylor Swift and shoes to signs and wines, there is very little on this stretch of the left coast of L.A. that hasn't been touched by her feel-good framework.

Hazul Luzah
Underground Artists, The Top Ten Underground Artists
Hazul Luzah has made a name for himself with his self-taught graffiti style line work across the walls of Porto, Portgual, sometimes to the dismay of authorities who force him to paint over his own work. Never at a stopping point nor less his previous work, Luzah is a great demonstration of a work in progress within the medium of modern art, something people from Portugal all the way to Portland can respect. That, and his work looks as though Mother Nature dropped Molly on the ocean floor and danced her way to the surface topless with only a paintbrush while listening to a waterproof cassette of Jimi Hendrix.

 

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The 10 Most Memorable TV And Movie Aliens Of All Time

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Man has long wondered whether or not we are alone in the universe, or if other life forms inhabit unseen planets. Hollywood, however, has asserted time and again on the big and small screen that aliens do exist. And through its eyes we've seen them come in all shapes in sizes, with varied communication abilities ranging from soft and cuddly to scaled and deadly. We've seen so many spacemen and women that we've been left with the confidence that we already know what they would look like if we ever came across one. Here are the 10 most memorable movie and TV aliens.

E.T. ("E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial")
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This alien being may be both adorable and funny-looking simultaneously, but he will take you on the best bike ride of your life. Stranded on Earth after his botanist buddies take off (literally) without him, he is luckily discovered by children who aren't interested in making him a science experiment like their adult counterparts. He's got a visibly glowing finger, visibly glowing heart and he can remedy a cut finger better than Johnson & Johnson ever could. Life is definitely better with E.T around, though his calls to his home planet, in the pre-unlimited calling plan '80s, are liable to cost as much as a flight back to outer space itself.

Marvin the Martian (various Looney Tunes shorts)
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Like most of Hollywood's best alien creations, Marvin the Martian has the Earth's destruction on his mind. But the fact that his mind is covered in a gigantic Roman Centurion's helmet makes his appearance a bit less intimidating than his evil intentions. Created in the Looney Tunes lab to counterbalance the loud, crude intensity of Bugs Bunny's double-barreled nemesis, Yosemite Sam, this soft-spoken, brilliant being is still no more of a match for the screwy wabbit than the Western gunslinger. Yet, it was during his cosmic clash with Daffy Duck in the 1953 masterwork "Duck Dodgers in the 24½th Century" that audiences fully realized Marvin's out of this world appeal.

Superman ("Superman" and sequels)
most memorable tv and movie aliens, memorable aliens, superman clark kent
He may have gotten his live-action start on television, but like no other time in history, 1978's "Superman" saw the legendary comic book hero soar on-screen. Advancements in special effects gave him the ability to convincingly - at the time - fly through Metropolis, and audiences believed from the edge of their seats. This was an origin story at its heart consisting of baby Kal-El as one of four survivors of the planet Krypton's doomed destruction. An idyllic childhood in Kansas with adoring adoptive parents left him with proud American values to carry along into manhood, but Superman's amazing abilities would expose him as more than just a mere mortal.

Yoda ("Star Wars" franchise)
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He doesn't look very powerful. In fact, on appearance alone, nothing separates him from the lizards crawling around his Dagobah bungalow besides his cloak and cane. Sure, all the beings inhabiting the "Star Wars" universe are officially aliens, but nothing beats Yoda. A diminutive Jedi Master who can raise a sunken X-wing Fighter with the flick of his little green wrist, he may not live like a king, but he has the power of hundreds - if not thousands - of empires. Though not big on grammar, Yoda has a grasp of the Force like literally no other.

ALF ("ALF")
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Another alien unintentionally stuck on Earth, ALF essentially crash-landed into a classic '80s sitcom. Dad, mom, brother and sister, silly neighbors and conflict prone in-laws are all here to give recorded laughter to the masses. Like Superman, he's an alien whose planet has been destroyed, only this destruction was caused by a then topical nuclear war. ALF's real name, Gordon Shumway, is very Earth-like, but like his soft puppet features, his nickname feels a bit more inviting. ALF was a ubiquitous late '80s superstar, frequent pop culture pitchman and punchline, but like a spectacular meteor shower he burned brightly for a moment and then was gone.

Mork ("Mork & Mindy")
most memorable tv and movie aliens, memorable aliens, mork and mindy
Before ALF, there was Mork, who set the standard for the quintessential sitcom spaceman. On Earth to learn our ways and culture while imparting the same of his native Ork, he is a fast-talking tornado of side-splitting nonsense and noises. And despite his relatively recent arrival on Earth, he can deliver one hell of a Ricky Ricardo impression. He's no fashionista, but his brave use of stripes was definitely trendsetting somehow at the close of the '70s. His roommate Mindy was his close friend and guide through the ins and outs of humanity and ultimately the two formed an interspecies bond of love. A son Mearth was hatched which doubled the in-home insanity.

Mr. Spock ("Star Trek" franchise)
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While many people out there declare that "God is my co-pilot," Mr. Spock is the one you really want in that position. Having reached one of Starfleet's highest levels, he is an incomparable ally in every situation, particularly life and death ones. Pointed ears immediately identify him as non-human, and that is just fine with him. Though his mother is of Earth, his father is a Vulcan and Mr. Spock identifies mostly with that side of his lineage. Logic is his co-pilot - not Homo sapien emotion and impulse - and navigates him aptly through most of his decisions and rationales. The blood coursing through his veins may run green, and his cool countenance may never break to laugh at your jokes, but his unyielding loyalty and morality is this alien being's most atypical quality of note.

Diana ("V" franchise)
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The anti-Spock. A second-in-command who would have anyone disposed of the first chance she got if it would advance her cause. She's calculating, arrogant, intelligent, and beautiful - until she rips off her mask to unveil her lizard head beneath. "V" was an unexpected sci-fi sensation in 1983 about a race of aliens, or Visitors, who arrive on Earth with the pronouncement of sharing culture, technology, and resources. But like their green reptilian skin, there is a hidden agenda. All the Visitors may be in on the nefarious deeds at hand, but Diana is the most fearsome, the most dangerous. No one is safe from her duplicitous, double-dealings - aliens and humans alike - and not only is she a notorious man-eater, using her alluring sexuality among a well-stocked arsenal of weaponry, but she can hungrily down a giant rat in one single gulp.

The Coneheads ("Saturday Night Live")
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Beldar, Prymaat, and Connie Conehead want you to believe that they are just you're average next door neighbors. And though they publicly blame their eccentricities on their French nativity, and that almost always settles any curiosity among friends and acquaintances, they come from much farther away than that. Remulak is their planet of origin, and it seems like a great place to party since their constant self-instruction to "consume mass quantities" often involves ingesting entire six-packs of beer or packs of cigarettes in one fell swoop. The Coneheads teach us that you don't need a round noggin to fit in here on Earth. You just need to overindulge.

Alien ("Alien" franchise)
most memorable tv and movie aliens, memorable aliens, alien xenomorph
Our last alien, is in fact, Alien, the last alien on this list we'd ever want to meet. Also known disturbingly as a Xenomorph, it is a slick, mucous-dripping, fanged creature who is perhaps the most frightening antagonist ever put to film. These Aliens like to propagate and kill, that's about it, and woe to those who are in the crosshairs of either agenda. Spock's green blood may stand out as odd; theirs can burn through steel or human flesh. Physicist Stephen Hawking has warned that any attempt for humans to send out signals soliciting contact with otherworldly beings is a foolish one; one that may not end well if it caught the attention of a superior, indomitable species. While E.T., the Coneheads, and Yoda, for instance, might cause you to second guess that rationale - one glimpse of an Alien is all we need to realize that the scientific genius might just be on to something.

 

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Jimmy Kimmel Hands People The Original iPhone And Tells Them It's The New iPhone 6S

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'Jimmy Kimmel Live!': First Look: Apple's New iPhone 6S
Recently, Apple unveiled the new iPhone 6S that will be available for purchase at the end of the month. So of course with that announcement people are already hyped and ready to toss their relativity new iPhone away for the "new and improved" version of the iPhone. Even though it is usually the same phone with a few minor improvements.

'Jimmy Kimmel Live' decided to hit the streets and ask strangers opinions on the new iPhone 6S by giving them the first original iPhone from 2007...and the people had no idea.

More clueless folks: Jimmy Kimmel Sent Miley Cyrus Undercover To Learn How People Really Feel About Her

 

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