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Girl Tops Her Boyfriend's Video Game Joke With Perhaps The Funniest Twitter Burn Ever

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And she did it with a dick joke. Well technically, a fake dick joke.

According to Buzzfeed, a British couple were recently trending on Twitter thanks to the release of "FIFA 16" on Xbox and a bright pink dildo.

It all started when Bradley Measor jokingly said goodbye to his girlfriend Danni after he got his hands on a copy of what is most likely his favorite video game.



But it turns out Danni is the complete package, as the only thing that might rival her stunning beauty is her sense of humor, and it was on full display when she replied to her man's tweet by, well, letting him know that she was going to be more than OK without him.



We'd say the next step for Brad if he wants to get back in her good graces is to go out and buy Danni some flowers. Or some batteries. It looks like either one would do the trick.

It turns out sex toys can be used for more than just sex: Sex Toys Have Way More Uses Than Just Their Intended Purpose

 

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Chuck Testa Is Back And He's Looking For Keystone Light's Elusive Great White Stone

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You might remember Chuck Testa as the guy who became an overnight YouTube sensation thanks to his Ojai Valley Taxidermy commercial. If you didn't see it, then you probably have no idea who the hell he is. But if you ever went to college or had less than eight bucks in your wallet, then you sure as hell know what Keystone Light is.

Well, the two icons have teamed up in "The Hunt for the Great White Stone," which is an elusive white can hiding in select orange multipacks of Keystone Light now through November.

We're not sure what you get if you find the Great White Stone or why the folks at Keystone Light are encouraging their drinkers to build "mounts" with their orange and white antler cans, take pictures of them and post them to their Facebook page, but we do know that the video of Testa's attempt at shooting a commercial for the beer was pretty damn funny, and that's why it's here for all to see.


More Chuck Testa: Is That A Bear In My Bed? Nope, It's Chuck Testa!

 

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UK Teacher Had Sex With 15-Year-Old More Than 50 Times, Claimed She Was Pregnant

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A 17-year-old boy revealed that he was in a relationship with a teacher assistant for months when he was 15. He claims they had sex more than 50 times and at one point, the teacher told him he got her pregnant.

Caroline Berriman, a 30-year-old teacher and mother, recently received a two-year-suspended sentence after admitting to three charges of sexual activity with a child; a pretty light sentence that the teenager is calling "atrocious."

News, Teacher hass ex with student over 50 times, teacher has sex with 15-year-old over 50 times
The teenager admits he was the first one to reach out to Berriman on Facebook, but she quickly asked him for his phone number.

"We would call and text each other all the time and it got more and more into a sort of relationship," the teen recalls. "Then she started ringing me on weekends, asking if I was going round to hers. It slowly got more serious."

News, Teacher hass ex with student over 50 times, teacher has sex with 15-year-old over 50 times
Berriman, who has a two-year-old daughter, even introduced the teen to her daughter. "It got to a point where her daughter was calling me 'Dad'. I used to say to her 'I'm not, I'm your mum's friend'."

The boy said he knew things were falling apart when Berriman, who tutored him in English and math, claimed to be pregnant. Berriman was eventually caught when the boy decided to tell his mom of what was occurring.

News, Teacher hass ex with student over 50 times, teacher has sex with 15-year-old over 50 times
The teacher lost her mind, according to the teen, when he told her he had revealed their relationship to his mother: "Caroline started flipping out, she started hitting me because I had told my mum. She was screaming and shouting saying 'Why have you put me in this position? I'm going to lose my daughter.' Blaming everything on me like I was in the wrong."

Berriman even claimed to have borrowed cash from her father to run away with the teen. Berriman continued to plead with the student, but the teen had had enough.

News, Teacher hass ex with student over 50 times, teacher has sex with 15-year-old over 50 times
Berriman no longer works at Abraham Moss Community School in Manchester, and has been ordered to stay away from the now 17-year-old.

The teen reveals that the whole ordeal has left him "scarred for life" and that if had been a man and a 15-year-old girl, the prosecution "would have been harsher."

Via The Sun

Teach wanted a dick pic: This Teacher Is In Court For Asking A Student For Pictures Of His Penis

 

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The 25 Greatest Cartoon Character Catchphrases Of All Time

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Cartoon characters are enviable creatures. They are always off on some adventure, they never age, and they have lots of cool things to say. More often than not, when uttered with regularity, those cool things become a memorable catchphrase that makes us like them even more. It seems that any cartoon character worth their animated stripes boasts at least one killer catchphrase, often followed by an exclamation point. Here we rank the top 25 greatest ever.

25 greatest cartoon catchphrases, greatest cartoon character catchphrases of all time, cartoon quotes
25. "Heavens to Murgatroyd!" - Snagglepuss, The Quick Draw McGraw Show
24. "Cowabunga!" - Michelangelo, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
23. "This sucks." - Beavis or Butt-head, Beavis and Butt-head
22. "Hey hey hey!" - Fat Albert, Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids
21. "You blockhead!" - Lucy Van Pelt, Peanuts
20. "I'm smarter than the av-er-age bear." - Yogi Bear, The Yogi Bear Show
19. "That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more!" - Popeye, Popeye the Sailor
18. "Here I come to save the day!" - Mighty Mouse, Mighty Mouse Playhouse
17. "And now, here's something we hope you'll really like." - Rocky, The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle
16. "Excellent." - Mr. Burns,
15. "You eediot!" - Ren, Ren and Stimpy
14. "To infinity and beyond!" - Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story
13. "Wonder Twin powers activate!" - The Wonder Twins, Super Friends
12. "Scooby-Dooby-Doo!" - Scooby Doo, Scooby Doo, Where Are You!
11. "Suffern' succotash!" - Sylvester, Looney Tunes
10. "You bastards!" - Kyle, South Park
9. "Oh my God! They killed Kenny!" - Stan, South Park
8. "Ay, caramba!" - Bart Simpson, The Simpsons
7. "By the power of Grayskull!" - He-Man, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe
6. "I tawt I taw a puddy tat." - Tweety, Looney Tunes
5. "Good grief." - Charlie Brown, Peanuts
4. "Yabba dabba doo!" - Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones
3. "D'oh!" - Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
2. "What's up, doc?" - Bugs Bunny, Looney Tunes
1. "Th-th-th-that's all folks!" - Porky Pig, Looney Tunes

More: The Greatest Quotes From Your Favorite 'Simpsons' Characters

 

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18 Film Franchises In Desperate Need Of A Reboot

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Movies are getting revamped, remade, rebooted and re-energized almost as fast as they come out these days. But that doesn't mean that several deserving franchises aren't being overlooked when it comes to a fresh start. So we figure it's time that the following films are revitalized in order to live up to the full potential of their concepts. Or, you know, because studios got nothing else and you already know these movies by name.

Poltergeist
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot, poltergeist
A remake of this movie could be done justice if they didn't seriously expect us to be scared of television static in 2015. Unless, of course, the fact that it's a long outdated concept is what makes it so scary. Maybe another reboot could try playing off a more current reference like a haunted ring tone or Beanie Babies.

Mission: Impossible
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot, mission impossible rogue nation
The only original cast members in these films are Tom Cruise and Ving Rhames, the latter of which had a cameo and borderline cameo in his past two appearances. That's all we're saying.

The Maze Runner
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot, the maze runner
Now that everyone is just starting to get into this series, when would be a better time to hit the reset button?

Jurassic World
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot, jurassic world
It became one of the highest grossing films in history thanks to stripping it of its core cast and likable characters. How hard could it be to do that again? Plus, "Jurassic Universe" has a great ring to it.

Mad Max
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot, mad max fury road
We'd be fine with George Miller helming again, too. He's great at taking movies he's already made and doing them even better. Third time's the charm.

Kingsman: The Secret Service
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot, kingsman the secret service
It was the surprise hit of 2014. Wouldn't it be an even bigger surprise if they redid it for no reason? It's already got a built-in audience now.

Psycho
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot, psycho 1998
Hear us out: a shot-for-shot remake of the 1998 shot-for-shot remake. It's just crazy enough to work.

American Ultra
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot
Screenwriter Max Landis pondered after his latest film bombed whether or not audiences even want original ideas anymore. We think we have the perfect solution -- do it again!

Paul Blart: Mall Cop
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot, paul blart mall cop
The sequel made over $70 million in the US alone. With nostalgia all the rage these days, we're pretty sure as long as someone falls down, spits their pants and cuts a huge fart, audiences won't even care that the franchise has been needlessly rebooted as they eagerly hand over their 12 dollars.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot, how the grinch stole christmas
Gotcha! They are already doing this in 2017 after attempting a live-action reboot of the classic 1966 film in 2000.

Friday the 13th
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot
Oops, they are already redoing this one in 2016 after rebooting the franchise for the first time in 2009. Our mistake.

Hitman
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot, hitman agent 47
Are you freaking kidding me!? I guess we should have done some more research before putting this list together. Bear with us.

The Transporte- Dammit!
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot, the transporter refueled

Ghostbuste- Cripes!
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot, ghostbusters 2016

Fantastic Fou- Mother f***!!!
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot, fantastic four

Jumanj- Seriously!? A "Jumanji" remake?
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot

Godzill-
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot, godzilla 2015
You see where we're going with this joke now, right?

Citizen Kane
film franchises in desperate need of a reboot, films in need of reboot, citizen kane
Because f**k it, right? It's only a matter of time anyways.

 

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Woman Loses Her Mind And Threatens Guy Via Text After He Postpones Date By One Hour

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No one likes when their date shows up late, but something tells me the majority of people wouldn't react like the woman below did when she learned her date was going to be an hour late. (If it was a date at Chili's, then I can understand the apprehension on his part.)

This woman makes sure to think of anything and everything to say to try and destroy this guy.

Funny, Woman Threatens Guy After He's Late To Date
Funny, Woman Threatens Guy After He's Late To Date
Funny, Woman Threatens Guy After He's Late To Date
Funny, Woman Threatens Guy After He's Late To Date
Wow. I understand she's angry and probably on her way to commit murder, but the most offensive thing here is her inability to use "your" and "you're" correctly.

Via Imgur

Could have been worst: 20 Guys Reveal The Creepiest Thing Said To Them By A Girl

 

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California Parcel Thief Gets Exactly What He Deserves

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Besides the 20-yard sprint he was forced to take after being caught stealing a package from a family's porch in Concord, California, the piece of shit in the video above was also delivered a healthy dose of comeuppance soup in several other ways. First and foremost, he was caught on camera from many different angles, so that will go a long way in his eventual capture. Secondly, once discovered, he is chased back to his car where the victim was able to steal a purse from the thief's female accomplice before he cowardly drove off. Of course, the cherry on top is that in his haste to escape, this loser threw down the very package he was trying to steal in the first place.

Speaking to Claycord.com, the victim had this to say of the purse he was able to nab before the thieves took off: "My daughter said someone is running up to the house, I ran out and realized he was stealing something and chased him to the car. I reached in to the window and tried to stop them, he didn't care that I had [his accomplice's] arm and when he started to drive off, I saw her purse and grabbed it with hopes there was ID and turned it in to the police."


Sadly, there was nothing in the purse in terms of identification, so both thieves are still at large. Luckily, people this stupid tend to make it a point to screw themselves. If this attempted caper is any indication of their expertise, we can assure you they'll be behind bars in no time.

Related: This Guy Stole A Scooter And Sweet Karma Caught Up To Him

 

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Korean Couple Has Crazy Weight Loss Transformation In Only 5 Months

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I don't really know what the inside of a gym looks like, but I assume it's hell on earth. That said, I can't even imagine what it took for the Korean couple below to transform the way they did ... in only five months. They must have gone through some secret, illegal, Korean boot camp because the before and after pictures are insane.

Song Jin Yoo and Shin Ji Hoo are a Korean couple who decided to work out together (my idea of bonding would be to eat pizza and drink together, but to each their own) and in only five months have turned into super humans. Take a quick look.

Crazy Weight Loss Transformation, Korean Couple Loses Weight At A Scary Pace
If you can't figure out who the guy is based off their names, Song Jin Yoo is the guy, and his diet includes eating 150 grams of chicken breast, 120 grams of sweet potatoes, five pieces of almonds, cherry tomatoes, cabbage, and onions every three to four hours.

While Shin Ji Hoo (the girl) eats three to four egg whites, 50 grams of potatoes, and some fruits and vegetables around five times a day.

Check out more pictures below of this couple's amazing and ridiculous transformation.

Crazy Weight Loss Transformation, Korean Couple Loses Weight At A Scary Pace

Crazy Weight Loss Transformation, Korean Couple Loses Weight At A Scary Pace

Crazy Weight Loss Transformation, Korean Couple Loses Weight At A Scary Pace

Crazy Weight Loss Transformation, Korean Couple Loses Weight At A Scary Pace
All of this resulted in some crazy numbers: Song Jin Yoo went from 83 kilograms with 16% body fat to 71 kilograms with 5% body fat. Shin Ji Hoo originally weighed 71 kilograms with 32% body fat, but she's now at 49 kilograms and 18% body fat. I don't know what any of that means, I just know that this is impressive and if I were to try this diet I wouldn't see the age of 26.

Crazy Weight Loss Transformation, Korean Couple Loses Weight At A Scary Pace

Crazy Weight Loss Transformation, Korean Couple Loses Weight At A Scary Pace

Crazy Weight Loss Transformation, Korean Couple Loses Weight At A Scary Pace

Crazy Weight Loss Transformation, Korean Couple Loses Weight At A Scary Pace

Crazy Weight Loss Transformation, Korean Couple Loses Weight At A Scary Pace

Crazy Weight Loss Transformation, Korean Couple Loses Weight At A Scary Pace

Crazy Weight Loss Transformation, Korean Couple Loses Weight At A Scary Pace

Crazy Weight Loss Transformation, Korean Couple Loses Weight At A Scary Pace
For those questioning the validity of all this and thinking this is worse than those late-night weight loss ads featuring an actor who hasn't been relevant since '93, the couple has posted this to prove that it's all legit:

Crazy Weight Loss Transformation, Korean Couple Loses Weight At A Scary Pace
If legit, this is one of the craziest transformation I've seen, so kudos to them. Hopefully this will encourage other people to work out and get healthy while I attempt to walk up two flights of stairs without collapsing.

Crazy Weight Loss Transformation, Korean Couple Loses Weight At A Scary Pace
Via Izismile

Or you can give these a shot: The Craziest Online Health And Fitness Gurus

 

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Woman Accidentally Sends Nude Snapchat To Boss And Gets Salty Response

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If you're going to be a great girlfriend and send your man nude Snaps, you should probably double check (triple check for good measure) that you're actually sending it to him and not to someone else; like your boss. You know, the guy who can fire you on the spot.

The woman below was so eager and excited to show her boyfriend her boobs that she accidentally sent a pic of her goods to her boss (who was probably secretly happy to see them).

Funny, Sex, Woman Sends Nude Snap to Boss Instead of Boyfriend
To his credit, the boss did not respond with a dick pic or with that creepy emoji that has its tongue sticking out. Instead he sent this response:

Funny, Sex, Woman Sends Nude Snap to Boss Instead of Boyfriend
I wonder if the boss was wondering if those boobs were indeed meant for him.

Via Playboy

Now that your mind is on boobs, follow these girls: The 20 Sexiest Girls To Follow On Snapchat

 

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Blatantly Obvious TV Recasts They Thought They Could Get By Us

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Films has surely had some of its biggest original characters recast, but the same goes for TV, only some of these blatantly obvious TV recasts they thought could actually get by us. Well, we noticed, and now we're calling them out on their obscene behavior. How stupid do they think the American people are? Well, Trump is a trending topic, so maybe we do need to show you these TV recasts for you to actually get them. Let us know if you caught all of these.

Frank Costanza, "Seinfeld" - Recast John Randolph for Jerry Stiller
Entertainment, TV, TV Recast That Were Noticable, Obvious TV Recast
A few of the "Seinfeld" parents were amongst the obviously recast TV characters, including John Randolph, the original Frank Costanza, who was replaced by the great Jerry Stiller. Check out more of our beloved deceased "Seinfeld" characters who have passed.

Laurie Forman, "That '70s Show" - Recast Lisa Robin Kelly for Christina Moore
Entertainment, TV, TV Recast That Were Noticable, Obvious TV Recast
Eric Forman, played by Topher Grace, always had a hot, older sister, but she wasn't always around. Lisa Robin Kelly's role on "That '70s Show" stopped around the third season when she completely disappeared before returning again a couple seasons later. The following sixth season, she was recast by Christina Moore. Kelly died at the age of 43 in 2013 after struggling with drug addiction.

Jenna DeCarlo, "30 Rock" - Recast Rachel Dratch for Jane Krakowski
Entertainment, TV, TV Recast That Were Noticable, Obvious TV Recast
The beloved "SNL" cast member Rachel Dratch started out in the role of Jenna across from other "SNL" stars, Tina Fey and Tracy Morgan, on NBC's "30 Rock" during the pilot. That was before getting recast for Jane Krakowski, the beautiful, blonde bimbo we all grew to love, and we're okay with this swap-out. It's all good, as Dratch was brought in to star in another role on the show. Everybody wins, especially us.

Marta Estrella, "Arrested Development" - Recast Leonor Varela for Patricia Velasquez
Entertainment, TV, TV Recast That Were Noticable, Obvious TV Recast
The hit cancelled show switched out their Martas, the love interest of Jason Bateman's character, Michael Bluth. Her role was tossed around between Leonor Varela and Patricia Velasquez in season one. The show also swapped out their Ann Veals, George Michael's (Michael Cera) girlfriend throughout the early parts of "Arrested Development" before she went on to get left by Gob at the altar. The role of Ann was originally played by Alessandra Torresani in season one, then played by Mae Whitman for the remaining seasons.

Aunt Vivian, "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" - Recast Janet Hubert-Whitten for Daphne Reid
Entertainment, TV, TV Recast That Were Noticable, Obvious TV Recast
It seems incredibly racist to just put a black woman in to replace another black woman, but this is show business, people! After having a darker-skinned African-American mother, Will Smith was surprisingly granted a very different African-American mother halfway through the series of "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air." Maybe they didn't think we'd notice. We noticed.

Harriet Winslow, "Family Matters" - Recast Jo Marie Payton-Noble for Judy Ann Elder
Entertainment, TV, TV Recast That Were Noticable, Obvious TV Recast
Urkel and the rest of "Family Matters" tried to pull on a quick one on us with the old late-in-the-game switcheroo of Mrs. Harriet Wilson. Played originally by Jo Marie Payton-Noble for the entirety of the series up until 1997, she left as Judy Ann Elder entered before the show quit in '98. Must've been tough that she couldn't go one more year. Maybe those "Key & Peele" sketches are true.

Daario Naharis, "Game of Thrones" - Recast Ed Skrein for Michael Huisman
Entertainment, TV, TV Recast That Were Noticable, Obvious TV Recast
Fans might've been thrown when Ed Skrein was replaced by a darker, handsomer Michael Huisman, but then again that show has so many characters it seems it's hard to keep track.
The HBO fantasy series recast the role for season four, going from the long-haired look to the chiseled, bearded type. At least they got the skin tone right.

Becky, "Roseanne" - Recast Lecy Goranson for Sarah Chalke
Entertainment, TV, TV Recast That Were Noticable, Obvious TV Recast
People might wonder how you can stick with a character when the actress playing it is constantly ping-ponging back and forth. Originally played by Lecy Goranson, the role went to Sarah Chalke in its fifth season so she could attend college. Goranson returned in the eighth season before leaving again in the ninth, swapping back and forth the role with Chalke, then finally letting her finish out the storyline for Becky. Luckily, the show poked fun at this by breaking the fourth wall.

Kaitlin Cooper, "The O.C." - Recast Shailene Woodley for Willa Holland
Entertainment, TV, TV Recast That Were Noticable, Obvious TV Recast
Without doing a time jump in the series, "The O.C." creator, Josh Schwartz, decided to make small-time side character, Kaitlin Cooper, into the show's new thing towards the finale to save the show after the departure of Mischa Barton. Come on. No girl grows up that quickly. It worked though, kind of.

Mandy Milkovich, "Shameless" - Recast Jane Levy for Emma Greenwell
Entertainment, TV, TV Recast That Were Noticable, Obvious TV Recast
Jane Levy was the hardcore chick in season one of "Shameless," Ian and Lip's little groupie, but she was then moved over to "Suburgatory," which allowed Showtime to recast the role of Mandy with Emma Greenwell. This worked out for us, as we have enjoyed four years of Mandy's topless moments. The joke's on Levy, as "Suburgatory" only went for three years, but "Shameless" is still rolling.

 

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Today's Funny Photos

The Man Behind Hilarious Low Budget Cosplay Is At It Again

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Not many people want to spend hundreds of dollars on a costume that you're only going to wear a few hours, either at some Halloween party or a convention where you will be confronted by other nerds who didn't go all out on their costumes. That's why the genius at Low Cost Cosplay showed us how to cosplay using homemade items, and now he's back to show us some more.

These are the most low-budget, ridiculous costumes you will see, and they are perfect.

Funny, Cosplay, Awful Cosplay Costumes, Hilarious Failed Attempts At Cosplay

Funny, Cosplay, Awful Cosplay Costumes, Hilarious Failed Attempts At Cosplay

Funny, Cosplay, Awful Cosplay Costumes, Hilarious Failed Attempts At Cosplay

Funny, Cosplay, Awful Cosplay Costumes, Hilarious Failed Attempts At Cosplay

Funny, Cosplay, Awful Cosplay Costumes, Hilarious Failed Attempts At Cosplay

Funny, Cosplay, Awful Cosplay Costumes, Hilarious Failed Attempts At Cosplay

Funny, Cosplay, Awful Cosplay Costumes, Hilarious Failed Attempts At Cosplay

Funny, Cosplay, Awful Cosplay Costumes, Hilarious Failed Attempts At Cosplay

Funny, Cosplay, Awful Cosplay Costumes, Hilarious Failed Attempts At Cosplay

Funny, Cosplay, Awful Cosplay Costumes, Hilarious Failed Attempts At Cosplay

Funny, Cosplay, Awful Cosplay Costumes, Hilarious Failed Attempts At Cosplay

Funny, Cosplay, Awful Cosplay Costumes, Hilarious Failed Attempts At Cosplay

Funny, Cosplay, Awful Cosplay Costumes, Hilarious Failed Attempts At Cosplay

Funny, Cosplay, Awful Cosplay Costumes, Hilarious Failed Attempts At Cosplay

Funny, Cosplay, Awful Cosplay Costumes, Hilarious Failed Attempts At Cosplay

Funny, Cosplay, Awful Cosplay Costumes, Hilarious Failed Attempts At Cosplay

Via College Humor

 

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10 More Of The Most Controversial Songs Of All Time

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If a piece of music has a catchy beat and a good hook, people will end up singing along to lyrics about sex, murder, assault and/or violent revolution without even realizing it. That's the sort of thing that's made these ten songs popular enough to be banned, censored, or otherwise messed with by governments and organizations afraid of their power.

N.W.A. - FUCK THA POLICE
Music, Banned And Controversial Songs
One of the most influential songs by one of hip hop's most influential groups on their most influential album, 1988's "Fuck Tha Police" prompted the FBI to write Ruthless Records an angry letter on its release and is still pissing off cops decades later. In 2011, New Zealand dub artist Tiki Taane was playing a set at a club that cops were performing a random inspection on; after sampling the song and singing a few lyrics (guess which ones) Taane found himself arrested on charges of "disorderly behavior likely to cause violence" which were later dropped on the grounds of being almost embarrassingly bullshit.

W.A.S.P. - ANIMAL (FUCK LIKE A BEAST)
Music, Banned And Controversial Songs
Shock rockers W.A.S.P. ("We Are Satan's Prophets," "We Appreciate Stinky Pussy," or "We Ate Savory Pancakes" depending on who you ask) had a guaranteed hit on their hands with "Animal" and were set on making it their debut single and the centerpiece of their first album. One minor issue: the infamous Parents Music Resource Center had so bullied Capitol over "Animal's" content that they deleted it from the album. It was almost released as a Europe exclusive in a black bag with EXPLICIT LYRICS and WARNING: DO NOT BUY stickers all over it but Capitol chickened out of even that, forcing W.A.S.P. to release the single through an independent label. Today, the only reason you won't hear "Animal" is because singer Blackie Lawless-now a born-again Christian-refuses to perform it.

CYNDI LAUPER - SHE BOP
Music, Banned And Controversial Songs
Another target of the PMRC's sexually frustrated rage was Cyndi Lauper and "She Bop," a super-fun dance-pop song that is not actually about dancing at all. Reading between the lines and it's pretty easy to figure out that the song's about jilling off, but Lauper's stated that she wanted it to be something kids would think was just about dancing and having fun and only eventually figure out that it was actually about that it wasn't a bad, evil thing to masturbate. That's probably the most positive and healthy message any pop song could ever communicate about sex, but it still earned a spot on the PMRC's "Filthy Fifteen" with W.A.S.P., Prince, and Judas Priest, and as such is one of the reasons any sort of cool music gets a PARENTAL ADVISORY stamp on it.

SLAYER - ANGEL OF DEATH
Music, Banned And Controversial Songs
This list could have easily been all metal songs-hell, this list could've just been ten Cannibal Corpse songs in a row-but Slayer's classic "Angel of Death" manages the nod for almost not getting released by its own record company. Named after and based on the horrific experiments conducted by Josef Mengele in the Auschwitz death camp, "Angel of Death" caused Columbia Records to first delay and eventually ditch Reign in Blood; the album was eventually released by Geffen Records but not mentioned on the company's official release list. Much of the controversy surrounded guitarist and song writer Jeff Hanneman's hobby of collecting Nazi memorabilia, and while Slayer has always denied condoning racism, they sure did end up using a lot of SS and Nazi imagery afterwards. Of course, that might've been just because they realized the controversy was good for them-in 2006 they tried to recapture the magic with a song about 9/11 from a terrorist's point of view, but as good as "Jihad" is, it's no "Angel of Death."

THE WHO - MY GENERATION
Music, Banned And Controversial Songs
The famous stuttered delivery on "My Generation" was either a deliberate homage to John Lee Hooker's "Stuttering Blues" or the result of Roger Daltrey trying to read Pete Townshend's terrible handwriting, but to the BBC it was nothing less than a hateful attack on those with sp-sp-speech impediments. At least, that's the story the Beeb put out as an explanation-many think the song was banned because the lyric "Why don't you all f-f-fade away" was just suggestive enough of the f-bomb to rub censors the wrong way, or that the song in general was too uppity and revolutionary to be tolerated.

THE KINKS - LOLA
Music, Banned And Controversial Songs
The BBC had an even weirder reason to shut down the Kinks' famous celebration of sexy transvestites: unlawful product placement. Remember how the champagne down in old Soho tastes just like Coca-Cola (which sounds like some pretty nasty champagne, but whatever)? To the BBC, that was considered a sneaky ad for Coke, and Ray Davies actually had to re-dub the song with "tastes just like cherry cola" to have it suitable for UK airwaves.

FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD - RELAX
Music, Banned And Controversial Songs
Although the lyrics to this '80s classic are raunchy as hell, the BBC was pretty much cool with it until Radio 1 DJ Mike Read pitched a fit over the song's content and the classic Anne Yvonne Gilbert album cover (dude, you're on the radio, only you can see the cover). BBC loudly banned the single from airplay, although late-night DJs like John Peel played it regardless, and the negative publicity boosted the gay sex anthem to #1 in the charts, forcing BBC TV to display the band's photo on Top of the Pops before playing a different band's song instead. Oddly, there was almost no controversy about the song in the USA, possibly because Americans are as a rule not very good at listening to things.

OZZY OSBOURNE - SUICIDE SOLUTION
Music, Banned And Controversial Songs
Close listening to Ozzy's "Suicide Solution" would reveal that it's a song about how alcoholism is essentially a drawn-out method of killing oneself-Osbourne claimed he sang the song with AC/DC's Bon Scott in mind, although writer and bassist Bob Daisley revealed he basically wrote the song about Ozzy. Either way, lots of people apparently didn't get the point, and the parents of depressed teen John McCollum claimed in court that the song drove him to suicide, pointing in particular to a barely audible line that they claimed said "Why try? Get the gun and shoot!" Daisley, Osbourne and the liner notes all stated that it was in fact "Get the flaps out," a typically weird English phrase for "show us your vagina," and ended up winning the case.

BARRY MCGUIRE - EVE OF DESTRUCTION
Music, Banned And Controversial Songs
When "Eve of Destruction" was first released (almost by accident-the vocal track was meant to be a rough cut but an enthusiastic DJ put the "first draft" on the air the day after McGuire recorded it) it met immediate pushback from American conservatives who saw the song as everything wrong with modern youth: pessimistic, whiny and altogether unacceptably opposed to dying horrible deaths for nebulous reasons. Many American stations refused to play the song, some of them citing it as "an aid to the enemy in Vietnam" and the BBC put it on a special list of songs that couldn't be played during general entertainment programs. Clean-cut pop music trio The Spokesmen even scored a hit single called "Dawn of Correction" as a right-wing answer to McGuire's tune ("The Western world has a common dedication / To keep free people from Red domination"), but time has shown the original to be the better song, even after McGuire became a born-again Christian and briefly refused to play his biggest hit.

JIMMY BOYD - I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS
Music, Banned And Controversial Songs
What better way to celebrate the holidays than with an anthem to illicit affairs and the disruption of a child's innocence? That was the official interpretation of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" by the Catholic Church in Boston, and it pulled enough weight to get the album banned in many New England stores and radio stations. 13-year-old Jimmy Boyd had to personally visit the Boston archdiocese (presumably a grown man) to convince him that the song was actually about a child not understanding that Santa was his dad, and that there wasn't actually any sort of extramarital sex occurring with a pagan forest elf. The Church lifted their opposition, and today the song is a Christmas classic, alongside updates like the Swedish band Onkel Kankel's "I Saw Santa Suck Off Daddy," which apparently the Boston archdiocese is unaware of.

These tunes didn't make everyone so happy either: The Most Controversial Songs Of All Time

 

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The 10 Most Amazing Political Meltdowns

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We're over a year out from the next Presidential election and all people seem to want to talk about is politics. The crowded Republican field has brought a lot of attention to how we pick our leaders, and as I write this the front-runner is a bulbous potato reality TV star who seems to think that "because I said so" is a cogent policy platform. Analysts agree we're heading for a Trump meltdown sooner or later, which made me want to head back and showcase ten other politicians who completely freaked out and lost it all.

Carl Paladino
political meltdowns,
The relationship between politicians and the press is a difficult one. When you're running for office, it's important to make sure your public image is as squeaky clean as possible. Carl Paladino, the Republican candidate for Governor of New York, saw his entire campaign go down in flames as the result of one very public meltdown against a reporter. Fred Dicker of the New York Post had reported on Paladino's mistress and illegitimate daughter, and when the two met Paladino was caught on tape threatening to "take out" Dicker if he didn't back off. A cell phone video of the event went viral and Paladino lost the election by a landslide. (Photo credit: carlpaladino.com)

Todd Akin
political meltdowns,
Reproductive health is a hot-button issue in elections, as we're seeing with the threats to de-fund Planned Parenthood. But Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin put his foot in his mouth during the 2012 campaign when he told reporters that abortion should be outlawed because "If it's legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut the whole thing down." This bizarre grasp of the human reproductive system knocked Akin down some 20 points in the polls, eliminating his lead over eventual victor Claire McCaskill. He apologized, lost the election, and then two years later took back his apology. (Photo credit: Getty)

Howard Dean
political meltdowns,
For a hot minute, it looked like Howard Dean really had a chance to secure the Democratic Presidential nomination in 2004. The fiery liberal was connecting with grass-roots voters and looking strong headed into the Iowa caucus. And then, during a stump speech to supporters, it happened. Dean listed off the states he promised to win in, one after another, getting louder and louder before capping it off with a frankly insane-sounding wordless scream. The moment hit news networks like a ton of bricks, being replayed over and over again to laughter and disbelief, and it single-handedly destroyed Dean's Presidential chances. (Photo credit: Getty)

Anthony Weiner
political meltdowns,
There is no political scandal quite as ironic as the tale of Anthony Weiner, who had a promising career brought low by his own weiner. In 2011, the Democratic Congressman sent a picture of his junk to a young woman in Seattle on Twitter, then deleted it. Weiner denied he was behind the dick pic, claiming that his account had been hacked, but it wasn't long before more women started speaking up about his sexting obsession. After censure from his peers, Weiner resigned his seat in June of 2011. After the story cooled, he tried to run for mayor of NYC in 2013, only for even more sexts (using the hilarious alias "Carlos Danger") to destroy his ambitions again! (Photo credit: Getty)

Phil Davison
political meltdowns,
Public speaking is one of the most important factors people use to evaluate their politicians. Obama got in office in many ways due to his compelling oration. On the flip side, there's Phil Davison, who took the podium during a meeting of the Stark County, OH Republican Party to pitch himself as a candidate for county treasurer. Over the next six minutes, Davison unleashed a screaming tirade at the top of his lungs that left the room flabbergasted. A video of the event hit the Internet and immediately set a new bar for political insanity. Sadly, Phil didn't get the nomination and in 2012 unsuccessfully tried to run for President on his viral fame. (Photo credit: abc.com)

John Edwards
political meltdowns,
It's fair to say that the 2008 Presidential elections came as a surprise to a lot of people, but one of the biggest involved North Carolina Senator John Edwards. After serving as John Kerry's running mate in 2004, many predicted he would do the same for Barack Obama. Then the tabloid press released information that Edwards had been cheating on his wife (who had cancer, for God's sake!) with a woman making a film about his campaign; a woman he fathered a child with. The resultant denial and eventual admission of guilt destroyed Edwards politically. (Photo credit: Getty)

Ryutaro Nonomura
political meltdowns,
Meltdowns aren't the exclusive domain of American politicians. The intense culture of honor in Japan makes disgraced politicians lose it in amazing ways. When Japanese assemblyman Ryutaro Nonomura was confronted with $30,000 in travel expenses that he hadn't submitted receipts for, he did the usual thing and held a press conference to explain himself. Once he got behind the microphone, though, things went very wrong. Unable to give a good reason for his lack of receipts, the assemblyman started howling, pounding his fists on the podium and crying like a baby. Not a good look, and he resigned from his post soon after. (Photo credit: Getty)

George Allen
political meltdowns,
When you're behind a microphone, every word that comes out of your mouth matters. That's what George Allen, a Republican Senatorial candidate from Virginia, learned in 2006. While speaking to a crowd at a campaign rally, Allen noticed a young man named S.R. Sidarth in the crowd and addressed him, saying "This fellow here, over here with the yellow shirt, macaca, or whatever his name is. He's with my opponent. He's following us around everywhere. And it's just great." If you don't know, "macaca" is a racial slur against African immigrants, and Allen's use of it toward the only person of color in attendance immediately destroyed his campaign. Amazingly enough, he tried to run again in 2012 but was soundly defeated. (Photo credit: Getty)

Michael Grimm
political meltdowns,
An unusual percentage of these meltdowns come from New York - is there something in the water in Albany that makes politicians lose it? Michael Grimm was a Staten Island Republican who got so pissed off by Obama's 2008 State of the Union speech that, when he ran into reporter Michael Scotto he threatened to "break him in half and throw him off a balcony." Needless to say, that kind of threats aren't good for politics, but things got worse for Grimm a few years later when the IRS discovered massive discrepancies in the income he reported from Healthalicious, a restaurant he owned. He was convicted of two felony counts and resigned his seat. (Photo credit: Getty)

Rob Ford
political meltdowns,
When we talk political meltdowns of the 21st century, nobody holds a candle to Toronto mayor Rob Ford. The year 2013 was sort of the pinnacle of his collapse, with a video showing him smoking crack cocaine the linchpin. But Ford had been slowly losing it for years beforehand, with multiple drunken altercations with staffers and press dotting his record. After the crack video dropped, Ford said he'd smoked the drug once "in a drunken stupor" and entered rehab, only for more videos of him hitting the pipe to be released in 2014. The most amazing thing about all this? Even though he lost the mayorship, Toronto still elected the alcoholic, abusive, lying maniac to the City Council in 2014! (Photo credit: Getty)

 

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Hot Weather Girl Yanet Garcia Is Now Being Hot On Magazine Covers

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Yanet Garcia, the hottest weather girl out there, is now doing more than telling you to carry an umbrella or playing volleyball in super tiny shorts that no one in their right mind would complain about, she's also posing for magazine covers.



This magazine is called Revista H and it's apparently a Spanish Maxim. And we're okay with that. The magazine also decided to go with the line "Yanet Garcia: Nos Mejora El Clima," which pretty much means Yanet improves our climate.

And now here's more of Yanet because that's all that matters at this very moment and moving forward:

Girls, Yanet Garcia, Hot Weather Girl Yanet Garcia, Magazine Cover Yanet

Girls, Yanet Garcia, Hot Weather Girl Yanet Garcia, Magazine Cover Yanet

Girls, Yanet Garcia, Hot Weather Girl Yanet Garcia, Magazine Cover Yanet

Girls, Yanet Garcia, Hot Weather Girl Yanet Garcia, Magazine Cover Yanet

Girls, Yanet Garcia, Hot Weather Girl Yanet Garcia, Magazine Cover Yanet

Girls, Yanet Garcia, Hot Weather Girl Yanet Garcia, Magazine Cover Yanet

Well look at that, there's more: The 20 Hottest News And Weather Girls On TV

 

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Jimmy Kimmel Fools Hillary Clinton Supporters Into Liking Donald Trump's Tax Plan

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'Jimmy Kimmel Live!': Hillary Supporters Like Trump's Tax Plan
The race to the White House is a long one, and the media is already shoving news bits and information about potential candidates down our throat, which probably doesn't make us choke as much as the thought of a person like Donald Trump running the United States of America.

But with all that information being thrown at us, Jimmy Kimmel wanted to find out if people actually listen to any of it or if they are just supporting a name. Jimmy sent his pranksters to learn if people supported Hillary Clinton's tax plan...which actually happens to be Trump's plan.

We should really do our research: Jimmy Kimmel Hands People The Original iPhone And Tells Them It's The New iPhone 6S

 

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Woman Finds Gross Alien Slug-Type Creature Inside Apple Juice Carton

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People have found plenty of strange and gross things in their food, but when we purchase any food or beverage, we certainly hope that it doesn't come with some sort of freaky, alien creature hanging out inside the carton just for the hell of it. And while that might never happen to you, it unfortunately happened to a couple.

News, Woman Finds Slug Creature In Apple Juice, Freaky Alien Slug Found In Apple Juice
Lorna Fisher and her boyfriend decided to buy apple juice because they're toddlers, but instead of fresh juice, they instead tasted something that didn't really please them.

"It looked a bit funny when we poured it out but my boyfriend reckoned it was just cloudy because we hadn't shaken it," Lorna explains."Then we drank it. It was completely horrible. It tasted rancid, like off cider."

"Straight away I went and cut the box open and there was this thing that just looked like an alien at the bottom."

News, Woman Finds Slug Creature In Apple Juice, Freaky Alien Slug Found In Apple Juice
Lorna immediately complained to the company, Tesco, and they gave her a refund instead of sending over Sigourney Weaver.

"The high quality and safety standards we set ourselves have not been met in this instance and we've apologized to Ms Fisher," a spokesperson for Tesco said. "We have asked her to return the product so we can investigate with our supplier."

They should let NASA know, too.

Via Metro

I prefer to keep my tongue when I eat food: Woman Finds Tongue Eating Parasite In Her Can Of Tuna

 

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Man Builds Custom Monopoly Board To Propose To Girlfriend

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Justin Lebon is a man in love; so damn in love that he decided to build a custom Monopoly board game in order to propose to his girlfriend Michal, whose favorite board game happens to be Monopoly. Justin went all out on this game in order to create the perfect, most memorable proposal ever -- and completely ruin things for every other man in a relationship at the same time.

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl
This romantic asshole created all the property cards on his laptop and named them after places him and his girlfriend have lived, vacationed at, and even gone on dates.

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl
Look at all that hard work; hard work that will get him laid every day till the day he dies.

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl
Justin made the board using an early 1900s icebox made out of redwood. Handy bastard.

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl
He even wrapped it up perfectly because he's perfect, and wrapping things with newspaper is something women don't like, I guess. I learned that the hard way.

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl
This is the full layout of the game that normally drives people to hate each other. But not this time.

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl
Justin even made custom tokens.

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl
Justin and Michal met on Match.com because they wouldn't make it this far if they met on Tinder.

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl
First Street Alehouse is where the pair had their first date and where Michal decided would be a safe, public place to meet in case Justin was a murderer.

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl
This represents the gas and electric bills that the couple will pay.

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl
And this is their cable bill even though Comcast is terrible and will ruin their viewing habits. Take that Comcast cable guy who arrived at my place 2 hours late!

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl
Justin also made this cat out of maple wood probably.

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl
Justin rigged the dice so Michal would roll nothing but sevens. He learned this on the streets of San Fran.

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl
Here's the cat playing the part of Michal. Good acting.

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl
A secret compartment held the ring because Justin doesn't believe in being simple.

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl
Michal said "yes." Justin was prepared to set all that redwood on fire if she said no.

Living, Man Builds Monopoly To Propose To Girlfriend, Custom Monopoly To Propose To Girl
Here's a picture of the happy couple before Justin got laid.

Sure, Justin ruined it for the rest of us guys who were probably thinking of proposing to our gals during a commercial break, but you have to give Justin kudos for all that hard work. Hell, I would have said yes, too. I need some new end tables.

Via Imgur

Since we aren't handy, buy these instead: 16 Versions of Monopoly That Actually Exist

 

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Circus Girl's Backflip Onto Super High Chair Is Nuts, Mostly Because the Chair Breaks

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If you ever find yourself asking, "Do I have to put every single nut and bolt on there?" here's a video that should provide an emphatic "yes."

A young lady recently stepped onto a teeter-totter placed in the ring of a packed circus tent, and the plan was for two of her coworkers to jump onto the other end so she could do a backflip onto a chair that was being held high in the air behind her.

Technically, they nailed it. But either somebody packed on a few pounds in recent days, or they just don't make 'em like they used to:



According to LiveLeak, the girl thankfully left the ring with just some "minor injuries," although I'm pretty sure that's what carnies and circus folk say about every injury that doesn't result in death.

This guy's stunt didn't quite go to plan either: This Bike Stunt Gone Wrong Doesn't End The Way You Think It Will

 

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British Man Almost Loses Leg After Spider Bite On Flight (Warning: Super Gross Picture)

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If you're looking for something to squelch your appetite, then by all means, please continue.

According to Metro, a 40-year-old British lawyer on vacation damn near lost his leg from the bite of a flesh-eating spider, one that he said was an unwanted passenger on a Qatar Airlines flight from Qatar to South Africa.

Jonathan Hogg said the spider pigged out on his leg at some point during the flight, and the venom left behind basically began eating away at his leg several hours later.

"By the time I got to the hospital, my leg was bursting open," Hogg said. "There was puss and it was black. The pain was like nothing I've been through in my life."

Hogg also said he initially thought the pain was the result of "deep-vein thrombosis," but that obviously wasn't the case. He's now suing the airline, probably because your leg isn't supposed to look like this after you step off a plane...

Last warning...

man almost loses leg from Qatar Airlines spider bite

Still have an appetite? If so, then this one should finish it off: A Woman Was Attacked In Bed By A Spider And The Photos Are Horrific

 

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