Follow Jeniffer Morel on Instagram @jennmorel If You Like Curvy Babes
Jeniffer Morel has been host to Snapchat's Thirsty Thursdays, but you can follow her any day of the week on Instagram @jennmorel. Born February 23, 1990 in the Dominican Republic, Jenn is a dancing girl, playing back-up dancer to the likes of NeYo and Kanye West and dancing in music videos for folks like Lil Wayne. Did we mention she's a Pisces and you can follow her on Instagram already?
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Follow Ona Artist on Instagram @onaartist and Get Blown Away
Ona Artist is exactly what you imagine a New York hottie to be: a singer, artist and her own personal photographer. With a selfie stick and little else other than a number of revealing provocative ensembles, Ona Artist has become a household name, just so long as your mother doesn't hear it and ban you from the computer. Check her out on Instagram @onaartist from some very appealing angles or severely miss out.
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Follow Katrina Brodsky @keller_rose on Instagram for More Bikini-Lovin' Photos
Katrina Brodsky is both the editor and model for Keller Rose, a L.A. based blog for fashion, travel and inspiration. We promise if you follow her on Instagram @keller_rose, you'll feel inspired to stay home today. Her raw and diverse talent makes her not only one of the best commodities in Los Angeles, she's also giving us a good reason to get out of bed in the morning. Or stay in bed, actually.
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Today's Funny Photos
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Drug Dealer Plays Nasty Head Games With His Client To Remind Him To Pay Up
The following text exchange is pretty messed up, but it sends a clear message: don't stiff your drug dealer on his money. Otherwise, he might stiff you (or someone you care about) in a very different way that you might not be too thrilled about. But before we get ahead of ourselves, let us give you a little insight into the situation.
According to humor website DudeComedy.com, they received screenshots of this conversation in their submission section. They came from the actual drug dealer in the exchange. The story goes that said dealer had given a major discount to a family friend in exchange for assurance that he would be paid back in full at a later date. Once the later date came and went, things got ... personal. We think you can figure things out from here:
It was never revealed whether or not the girl was the client's actual sister. Since we don't really know the nature of the relationship between these two men, it's difficult to even take a guess. We'd certainly hope someone wouldn't sink this low for a little drug money, but apparently that's the risk you run when cavorting with such nefarious characters.
Related: Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Steals His Sunglasses
According to humor website DudeComedy.com, they received screenshots of this conversation in their submission section. They came from the actual drug dealer in the exchange. The story goes that said dealer had given a major discount to a family friend in exchange for assurance that he would be paid back in full at a later date. Once the later date came and went, things got ... personal. We think you can figure things out from here:
It was never revealed whether or not the girl was the client's actual sister. Since we don't really know the nature of the relationship between these two men, it's difficult to even take a guess. We'd certainly hope someone wouldn't sink this low for a little drug money, but apparently that's the risk you run when cavorting with such nefarious characters.
Related: Guy Texts Girl For Entire Year After She Steals His Sunglasses
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The Biggest Cinematic Letdowns Of 2015 So Far
Of all the movies to look forward to this year, there were quite a few that failed to meet expectations. When it comes to life, things go much smoother with low, or even zero, expectations. In the case of films, however, it's hard not to want more each time you go. With fall films well under way, we thought we'd take a look back at a few that failed to make our anticipation worth the wait.
Tomorrowland
Possibly one of the most hyped adventure films this summer was "Tomorrowland," which came and went like a fart in a wind storm. Starring George Clooney and Britt Robertson, it lacked any clear vision despite its visual appeal. Jumping across genres which failed to connect and getting a bow tossed on it at the end like some left-for-dead Christmas gift, the film quickly went from a magical thrill ride to a place we didn't want to visit again for some time. Big props to the climate change references, though.
Chappie
Everyone had high hopes for the modern day "Short Circuit," but the story of an intelligent, likable police robot named Chappie, which was directed by "District 9" genius Neill Blomkamp, turned out not so great after all. We saw Hugh Jackson like we never want to see him in a film that, while worth the watch, was never really much of anything. Instead, it strayed far from its potential by its conclusion and gave a playful face to Blomkamp's sad outlook on modern day humanity.
Avengers: Age of Ultron
This heavy hitter from Marvel Studios was the follow-up to 2012's "The Avengers." Only now, with the need for bigger villains, a bigger cast and bigger expectations, it failed to appease Comic-Con regulars. The film, while still impressive compared to most superhero flicks, failed to make much of an impact outside of its usual extensive action scenes, constant chaos and pointless side plots (Black Widow hooking up with The Hulk?). The whole thing just made us wonder what the next one could possibly be about.
Black Mass
Don't get us wrong, Johnny Depp was great as a scary, thuggish monster who rose from small-time criminal to city mobster, but something was missing in this "Blow" meets "Donnie Brasco" Boston crime thriller. Joel Edgerton was spectacular. Benedict Cumberbatch was his usual perfection. Even Jesse Plemons was good. And we love, love, love Dakota Johnson. Maybe it was the lack of events actually taking place or Adam Scott with a stupid mustache throwing us off, but something was definitely missing. It felt like a lesser sequel to "Goodfellas."
Trainwreck
Amy Schumer has been riding a pervy wave of boner joke success, but it topped out with another Judd Apatow flick that, of course, went on way too long. While we loved the underrated "Spy" by Paul Feig, an earlier summer movie with a hilarious female lead, we just couldn't get into this film, especially after the disastrous Matthew Broderick/Marv Albert/Chris Evert cameo. We still love you, Amy, but "Trainwreck" couldn't live up to the trailers.
Get Hard
With so many Will Ferrell characters who've left us wanting more - Ricky Bobby, Chazz Michael Michaels and a series of presidential spoofs - we've found that the curly-haired comedian is best left to surprise cameos in other people's films, like "Wedding Crashers" or "Starsky & Hutch." A generous percentage of times he's the lead, the trailer hypes up his best moments and leaves the rest of the film to bore us to tears. Ferrell as a millionaire on his way to the big house in "Get Hard" definitely had its funny moments, especially with the help of Kevin Hart, but it was still a far cry from the days of "Old School." This just goes to show he shouldn't be allowed to act unless Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson or Ben Stiller are in the vicinity. We did rather enjoy Alison Brie in the film, though.
Jurassic World
What was an impressive mega blockbuster sequel at the box office was also a theme park ride piggybacking off a '90s franchise with a nostalgic following. Everything was much bigger than the original, but the hand of Hollywood was ever-present, as there was clearly more interest in showmanship than storyline. Taking a simple idea and expanding it with big budget visuals, this film sets up sequels that will be just as hollow once you give them a second glance and look past the glamour of high-def dinos. And if you saw it in 3D, you now won't be able to appreciate it without the glasses, and that's coming from a guy who doesn't prefer 3D movies.
Terminator Genisys
Arnold's movies have struggled a little in the reviews department recently, with "Terminator Genisys" receiving a whopping 26 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Despite some of his best performances - see "Maggie" now - the return of The Governator has proven a bit of a challenge. "Genisys" was one of the higher grossing of the franchise, but it had one of the highest budgets, too. Though it nearly broke half a billion dollars, it's regarded as the worst film of the franchise to date. We'll see if they can squeeze another blockbuster sequel out of the chamber.
Pan
Ever since the days of "Hook" with Robin Williams facing off against Dustin Hoffman, we've desired a reinvention of Peter Pan. Johnny Depp's "Finding Neverland" proved to be a clever playwright stance on the mythology, but with "Pan" (another 26-percenter), we got another version of Hugh Jackman we could do without and some more of that blockbuster charm that adds more visual design than substance. Failing to find its way, this latest effort was certainly a spectacle to look forward to, but it was sadly lost on fans of the late Mrs. Doubtfire.
Fantastic Four
In addition to being a rotten movie with hilariously rotten reviews, even the director of the film tried to distance himself before people even got a chance to see it. You might expect a younger, more in shape cast to top its unsuccessful predecessor with a few new tricks, but no. There isn't much to say here except just "no."
Tomorrowland
Possibly one of the most hyped adventure films this summer was "Tomorrowland," which came and went like a fart in a wind storm. Starring George Clooney and Britt Robertson, it lacked any clear vision despite its visual appeal. Jumping across genres which failed to connect and getting a bow tossed on it at the end like some left-for-dead Christmas gift, the film quickly went from a magical thrill ride to a place we didn't want to visit again for some time. Big props to the climate change references, though.
Chappie
Everyone had high hopes for the modern day "Short Circuit," but the story of an intelligent, likable police robot named Chappie, which was directed by "District 9" genius Neill Blomkamp, turned out not so great after all. We saw Hugh Jackson like we never want to see him in a film that, while worth the watch, was never really much of anything. Instead, it strayed far from its potential by its conclusion and gave a playful face to Blomkamp's sad outlook on modern day humanity.
Avengers: Age of Ultron
This heavy hitter from Marvel Studios was the follow-up to 2012's "The Avengers." Only now, with the need for bigger villains, a bigger cast and bigger expectations, it failed to appease Comic-Con regulars. The film, while still impressive compared to most superhero flicks, failed to make much of an impact outside of its usual extensive action scenes, constant chaos and pointless side plots (Black Widow hooking up with The Hulk?). The whole thing just made us wonder what the next one could possibly be about.
Black Mass
Don't get us wrong, Johnny Depp was great as a scary, thuggish monster who rose from small-time criminal to city mobster, but something was missing in this "Blow" meets "Donnie Brasco" Boston crime thriller. Joel Edgerton was spectacular. Benedict Cumberbatch was his usual perfection. Even Jesse Plemons was good. And we love, love, love Dakota Johnson. Maybe it was the lack of events actually taking place or Adam Scott with a stupid mustache throwing us off, but something was definitely missing. It felt like a lesser sequel to "Goodfellas."
Trainwreck
Amy Schumer has been riding a pervy wave of boner joke success, but it topped out with another Judd Apatow flick that, of course, went on way too long. While we loved the underrated "Spy" by Paul Feig, an earlier summer movie with a hilarious female lead, we just couldn't get into this film, especially after the disastrous Matthew Broderick/Marv Albert/Chris Evert cameo. We still love you, Amy, but "Trainwreck" couldn't live up to the trailers.
Get Hard
With so many Will Ferrell characters who've left us wanting more - Ricky Bobby, Chazz Michael Michaels and a series of presidential spoofs - we've found that the curly-haired comedian is best left to surprise cameos in other people's films, like "Wedding Crashers" or "Starsky & Hutch." A generous percentage of times he's the lead, the trailer hypes up his best moments and leaves the rest of the film to bore us to tears. Ferrell as a millionaire on his way to the big house in "Get Hard" definitely had its funny moments, especially with the help of Kevin Hart, but it was still a far cry from the days of "Old School." This just goes to show he shouldn't be allowed to act unless Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson or Ben Stiller are in the vicinity. We did rather enjoy Alison Brie in the film, though.
Jurassic World
What was an impressive mega blockbuster sequel at the box office was also a theme park ride piggybacking off a '90s franchise with a nostalgic following. Everything was much bigger than the original, but the hand of Hollywood was ever-present, as there was clearly more interest in showmanship than storyline. Taking a simple idea and expanding it with big budget visuals, this film sets up sequels that will be just as hollow once you give them a second glance and look past the glamour of high-def dinos. And if you saw it in 3D, you now won't be able to appreciate it without the glasses, and that's coming from a guy who doesn't prefer 3D movies.
Terminator Genisys
Arnold's movies have struggled a little in the reviews department recently, with "Terminator Genisys" receiving a whopping 26 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Despite some of his best performances - see "Maggie" now - the return of The Governator has proven a bit of a challenge. "Genisys" was one of the higher grossing of the franchise, but it had one of the highest budgets, too. Though it nearly broke half a billion dollars, it's regarded as the worst film of the franchise to date. We'll see if they can squeeze another blockbuster sequel out of the chamber.
Pan
Ever since the days of "Hook" with Robin Williams facing off against Dustin Hoffman, we've desired a reinvention of Peter Pan. Johnny Depp's "Finding Neverland" proved to be a clever playwright stance on the mythology, but with "Pan" (another 26-percenter), we got another version of Hugh Jackman we could do without and some more of that blockbuster charm that adds more visual design than substance. Failing to find its way, this latest effort was certainly a spectacle to look forward to, but it was sadly lost on fans of the late Mrs. Doubtfire.
Fantastic Four
In addition to being a rotten movie with hilariously rotten reviews, even the director of the film tried to distance himself before people even got a chance to see it. You might expect a younger, more in shape cast to top its unsuccessful predecessor with a few new tricks, but no. There isn't much to say here except just "no."
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The Absolute Funniest Halloween Costume For Couples
Coming up with a good Halloween costume idea is hard enough on your own, but when two of you have to agree on something that works for both parties, it's downright difficult. To help you on your costume quest, here are 21 of the funniest Halloween costumes for couples that you can totally pull off.
Jack and Wendy from "The Shining"
Bob Ross and a Happy Little Tree
The Old Horny Couple from those Cialis Commercials
The Monopoly Man and Game Board
KY Gel
Crown and Coke
Paula Deen and a Stick of Butter
The Black Eyed Peas
Tetris Pieces
Forrest Gump and Jenny
Tom Hanks and Wilson from "Cast Away"
Wanda and Cosmo from "The Fairly OddParents"
Blue and Steve from "Blue's Clues"
Ken and Barbie
"Sharknado"
A Cop and a Donut
Marge and Homer Simpson
Flo and Mayhem
A Hunter and a Deer
Ivory Soap and a Loofah
Candice and Toni from "Portlandia"
Photos via Costume Works and Pinterest
Jack and Wendy from "The Shining"
Bob Ross and a Happy Little Tree
The Old Horny Couple from those Cialis Commercials
The Monopoly Man and Game Board
KY Gel
Crown and Coke
Paula Deen and a Stick of Butter
The Black Eyed Peas
Tetris Pieces
Forrest Gump and Jenny
Tom Hanks and Wilson from "Cast Away"
Wanda and Cosmo from "The Fairly OddParents"
Blue and Steve from "Blue's Clues"
Ken and Barbie
"Sharknado"
A Cop and a Donut
Marge and Homer Simpson
Flo and Mayhem
A Hunter and a Deer
Ivory Soap and a Loofah
Candice and Toni from "Portlandia"
Photos via Costume Works and Pinterest
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2015's Highest YouTube Earners
I really want to be happy for these men and women, but I also really want to make the perfect paper airplane out of my college degree. While you're trying to hold off on eating a proper meal until you get paid, you can read up about the richest YouTube folks out there. From baking, to playing a violin, to talking while playing video games, these people have used their...um...talents....to rack up millions of dollars.
Bless the Internet.
Rosanna Pansino - $2.5 million
Rosanna Pansino is attractive, and she bakes. And that is enough for her to have five million subscribers and to have made more than $2 million this year. I would like to be her partner and eat everything she bakes and get the same paycheck, too.
Roman Atwood (Roman Atwood Pranks) - $2.5 million
Roman Atwood likes to prank people (like pretending to blow up his son) and his seven million subscribers want to see more of that; most of them parents who regret having children.
Lilly Singh (IISuperwomanII) - $2.5 million
Lilly Singh likes to entertain her seven million subscribers with comedy sketches and Q&A's. And she's Canadian, so she won't even rub it in your face that she makes more than you.
Michelle Phan - $3 million
Michelle Phan is all about makeup, and her eight million subscribers get to watch her weekly makeup tutorials because no one wants to be ugly. Hooray for society and its high standards.
Olajide Olatunji (KSI) - $4.5 million
Olajide Olatunji is a video game commentator (that's a thing) and a comedian, and all that adds up to ten million subscribers and a bunch of money.
Rhett McLaughlin & Charles Lincoln Neal III (Rhett & Link) - $4.5 million
At almost four million subscribers, Rhett & Link have reeled in plenty of cash with comedy sketches, including rap battles. My rap career hasn't quite made me that much money yet.
Lindsey Stirling - $6 million
Lindsey Stirling is a hot American violinist. Seven million subscribers agree with that statement, and her skills have brought her in six million dollars. Not bad, Stirling.
Benny & Rafi Fine (Fine Brothers Entertainment) - $8.5 million
The Fine Brothers have 13 million subscribers, and are most known for their "Kids React" videos. They should see how I react when I learn that's what it takes to make a few million these days.
Ian Hecox & Anthony Padilla (Smosh) - $8.5 million
Smosh has been doing it for a while, with 21 million subscribers to their name. They do comedy sketches, have their own store and even released a movie that is being used to torture prisoners of war.
Felix Kjellberg (PewDiePie) - $12 million
PewDiePie has close to 40 million subscribers, and has racked up millions in cash by solely talking while playing video games. That's it, pretty much.
Via eBaum's World
Bless the Internet.
Rosanna Pansino - $2.5 million
Rosanna Pansino is attractive, and she bakes. And that is enough for her to have five million subscribers and to have made more than $2 million this year. I would like to be her partner and eat everything she bakes and get the same paycheck, too.
Roman Atwood (Roman Atwood Pranks) - $2.5 million
Roman Atwood likes to prank people (like pretending to blow up his son) and his seven million subscribers want to see more of that; most of them parents who regret having children.
Lilly Singh (IISuperwomanII) - $2.5 million
Lilly Singh likes to entertain her seven million subscribers with comedy sketches and Q&A's. And she's Canadian, so she won't even rub it in your face that she makes more than you.
Michelle Phan - $3 million
Michelle Phan is all about makeup, and her eight million subscribers get to watch her weekly makeup tutorials because no one wants to be ugly. Hooray for society and its high standards.
Olajide Olatunji (KSI) - $4.5 million
Olajide Olatunji is a video game commentator (that's a thing) and a comedian, and all that adds up to ten million subscribers and a bunch of money.
Rhett McLaughlin & Charles Lincoln Neal III (Rhett & Link) - $4.5 million
At almost four million subscribers, Rhett & Link have reeled in plenty of cash with comedy sketches, including rap battles. My rap career hasn't quite made me that much money yet.
Lindsey Stirling - $6 million
Lindsey Stirling is a hot American violinist. Seven million subscribers agree with that statement, and her skills have brought her in six million dollars. Not bad, Stirling.
Benny & Rafi Fine (Fine Brothers Entertainment) - $8.5 million
The Fine Brothers have 13 million subscribers, and are most known for their "Kids React" videos. They should see how I react when I learn that's what it takes to make a few million these days.
Ian Hecox & Anthony Padilla (Smosh) - $8.5 million
Smosh has been doing it for a while, with 21 million subscribers to their name. They do comedy sketches, have their own store and even released a movie that is being used to torture prisoners of war.
Felix Kjellberg (PewDiePie) - $12 million
PewDiePie has close to 40 million subscribers, and has racked up millions in cash by solely talking while playing video games. That's it, pretty much.
Via eBaum's World
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Halloween Candy Map
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This Map Showing Each State's Favorite Halloween Candy Proves Diabetes Wins Again
Halloween is less that a week away and that means that everyone needs to stock up on candy so that they can ignore the knocks on the door from eager costumed children, all while stuffing your face with candy in a corner of a dark room. All this in the spirit of Halloween!
But before you go and shame eat, it's best to know what is your state's favorite Halloween candy by looking at the map below put together by Influenster (click on the map to see the full-size image):
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups were voted as the most popular Halloween candy, while candy corn is somehow the favorite candy of the most states. And there are people out there that still like 3 Musketeers and Almond Joy.
And if you needed another reason to strongly dislike Arizona, well they enjoy Toblerone.
This makes sense now: This Map Of The Fattest States Is Something They Didn't Show You In Geography class
But before you go and shame eat, it's best to know what is your state's favorite Halloween candy by looking at the map below put together by Influenster (click on the map to see the full-size image):
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups were voted as the most popular Halloween candy, while candy corn is somehow the favorite candy of the most states. And there are people out there that still like 3 Musketeers and Almond Joy.
And if you needed another reason to strongly dislike Arizona, well they enjoy Toblerone.
This makes sense now: This Map Of The Fattest States Is Something They Didn't Show You In Geography class
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Utah Middle School Teacher Is Being Accused Of Having A 'Pornographic' Instagram
Some parents get bored and one way to cure that boredom is to find something to complain about, and parents with kids at the North Sanpete Middle School in Moroni, Utah, are complaining about a teacher's Instagram account.
A parent of a student found the Instagram account of middle school teacher Mindi Jensen and quickly complained to the school's administration, calling the fitness inspired photos "immodest" and "pornographic." Most of the pictures showed Jensen in workout gear and bikinis to compete in body building competitions.
Administrators told Jensen, who is a mother of four, to take the pictures down, make her account private, or be fired. After a school board meeting, though, they backtracked and apologized to Jensen for being total fucking idiots, probably. That parent has also been barred from ever speaking again (hopefully).
Take a look at some pictures from Jensen's Instagram account and see what all the fuss was about:
Via Daily Mail
Teachers are criminally underrated: Teachers Who Were Also Porn Stars
A parent of a student found the Instagram account of middle school teacher Mindi Jensen and quickly complained to the school's administration, calling the fitness inspired photos "immodest" and "pornographic." Most of the pictures showed Jensen in workout gear and bikinis to compete in body building competitions.
Administrators told Jensen, who is a mother of four, to take the pictures down, make her account private, or be fired. After a school board meeting, though, they backtracked and apologized to Jensen for being total fucking idiots, probably. That parent has also been barred from ever speaking again (hopefully).
Take a look at some pictures from Jensen's Instagram account and see what all the fuss was about:
Via Daily Mail
Teachers are criminally underrated: Teachers Who Were Also Porn Stars
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The Indisputable Halloween Candy Pyramid
The Food Pyramid has been a staple of healthy eating for years. People rely on it to whip their diets back into shape, especially when they've been enjoying fats, oils and sweets more than sparingly. But since it's Halloween, we've decided to focus only on the sweets and have created a hierarchy in the Halloween candy universe. We present to you the official and indisputable Halloween Candy Pyramid.
God Tier: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Kit Kat, Twix, Skittles
Great Tier: Snickers, Peanut M&M's, Sour Patch Kids, Starburst, Nerds, Reese's Pieces, anything gummi
Pretty Good Tier: Twizzlers, Milky Way, Nestle Crunch, Plain M&M's, 100 Grand, Butterfinger, 3 Musketeers, Baby Ruth, Jolly Ranchers, SweeTarts, Life Savers, Gobstoppers, Blow Pops, Hershey's Miniatures, Hershey's Kisses
Decent Tier: Smarties, Fun Dip, gum, Junior Mints, Charleston Chews, Payday, Rolos, plain Hershey bars, gag candy (Fun Fangs, Skull Pops, gummy fingers, candy eyeballs, candy blood), Red Hots, Lemonheads, Atomic Fireballs, AirHeads, Swedish Fish, WarHeads, York Peppermint Patties, Laffy Taffy, Pixie Stix
Crappy Tier: Gold Chocolate Coins, Heath bars, Whoppers, generic hard candy, jelly beans or anything similar (Dots, Mike and Ike, Jujyfruits), Mounds, Almond Joy, Milk Duds, anything homemade in plastic baggies and possibly poisoned (i.e., popcorn balls, "puppy chow," Rice Krispies treats, peanut brittle), old people candy (Werther's Original, Bit-O-Honey), Tootsie Rolls, Tootsie Pops, Now and Laters, Mentos, Sixlets, Candy Apples, mints
Total Shit Tier: candy corn, apples, raisins, toothpaste and floss, ramen, pencils, packets of soy sauce/ketchup/mustard, napkins, miniature Bibles
God Tier: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Kit Kat, Twix, Skittles
Great Tier: Snickers, Peanut M&M's, Sour Patch Kids, Starburst, Nerds, Reese's Pieces, anything gummi
Pretty Good Tier: Twizzlers, Milky Way, Nestle Crunch, Plain M&M's, 100 Grand, Butterfinger, 3 Musketeers, Baby Ruth, Jolly Ranchers, SweeTarts, Life Savers, Gobstoppers, Blow Pops, Hershey's Miniatures, Hershey's Kisses
Decent Tier: Smarties, Fun Dip, gum, Junior Mints, Charleston Chews, Payday, Rolos, plain Hershey bars, gag candy (Fun Fangs, Skull Pops, gummy fingers, candy eyeballs, candy blood), Red Hots, Lemonheads, Atomic Fireballs, AirHeads, Swedish Fish, WarHeads, York Peppermint Patties, Laffy Taffy, Pixie Stix
Crappy Tier: Gold Chocolate Coins, Heath bars, Whoppers, generic hard candy, jelly beans or anything similar (Dots, Mike and Ike, Jujyfruits), Mounds, Almond Joy, Milk Duds, anything homemade in plastic baggies and possibly poisoned (i.e., popcorn balls, "puppy chow," Rice Krispies treats, peanut brittle), old people candy (Werther's Original, Bit-O-Honey), Tootsie Rolls, Tootsie Pops, Now and Laters, Mentos, Sixlets, Candy Apples, mints
Total Shit Tier: candy corn, apples, raisins, toothpaste and floss, ramen, pencils, packets of soy sauce/ketchup/mustard, napkins, miniature Bibles
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The Most Totally Awesomest '80s Bedroom Posters
If you grew up in the '80s and lived within a dirt bike ride of a mall, you probably spent a lot of time looking at posters. For me, I'd check out the girls and cars (hopefully together!) in the poster Rolodex at Spencer's Gifts, then hit up the rockers at Sound Warehouse, and finally the ball players at Dave Cook Sporting Goods. And then, if I hadn't spent all my money on Chic-fil-a and Orange Julius yet, I'd actually go back and buy one poster for like a buck. If I did purchase, I'd then have to go home, and somehow squeeze out some valuable display space on my bedroom wall. Being your average Midwestern kid, I'm sure I wasn't alone in this practice. So for all you fellas pining for the good ol' days when a woman in a bathing suit lying on top of a Lotus Esprit was the closest you'd ever get to getting some, this list of the greatest '80s bedroom posters is for you.
Squeaky Clean Ford Pantera
I first got the idea for this list while watching the crappy Corey & Corey movie, "License to Drive." Sorry, it was on, and the remote was far away. Plus, young Heather Graham is irresistible, and, most importantly for this list, the time and place shines through in that inimitable '80s way. In the film, on Corey's bedroom wall (I believe Haim, but I never did quite figure out which one was which), there's a myriad of classic posters, but this is the one that immediately brought me back to middle school: the squeaky clean Pantera, kept that way by an ample amount of suds.
Van Halen
This whole list comes down to personal tastes, really, which is why it is so rad. But if your tastes didn't include Van Halen's 1984, then you had bad taste. And you missed out on David Lee Roth, the King of the Sexy Interlude; Eddie Van Halen, heroic wielder of the world's most recognizable axe; his brother, Alex Van Halen, the man with four kick drums and a gong in one kit; and the bass player.
C4 Corvette
Everybody has particular tastes in cars too, but I doubt most kids were as discerning about cars and babes as they were about music, sports, and movies. Because any car or any babe at that age was just dream material anyways. But still, some cars stand out as being just a bit more dreamy than the rest, and that starts with the C4 Corvette. In 1984, the first C4 looked like the automotive expression of America nuking Russia. It was surely the car Duke from G.I. Joe would drive whenever he and Wild Bill would get shore leave and go bird-dogging for local whores.
Bo Jackson
Vincent Bo Jackson was such a transcendent athlete that even this diehard Broncos fan had the poster above, knowing full well that Jackson played for the hated Raiders. And according to my go-to source for all-things sports, the Champs Sports blog, I now know I wasn't the only one rooting for a guy who wasn't on my team. Apparently, after Nike's "Bo Knows" campaign in support of the Air Trainer 1, sales margins swooshed to the tune of nearly 1,000 percent. See what you can do with cheap labor, suspect business practices, and a Blue-Chip pitch man.
Christie Brinkley
The Uptown Girl, the swimsuit issue cover girl, the girl in the red Ferrari 308 GTS, and the girl in this poster are all era-defining images of one the world's foremost supermodels/infomercial hostesses. In those dreamy days of the mid-'80s, Christie Brinkley was the one you dreamt about.
Lamborghini Countach
I didn't want to overload this list with cars, as even a preteen adolescent punk should be well rounded, but there were a lot of hot rides in the '80s. Perhaps none more posterized than the Countach, the very car driven by the two girls in zip-down unitard pantsuits in "The Cannonball Run." Unfortunately though, none of the posters of the day (at least not the ones that made it to Buckingham Square Mall) really showed that exact car, which had not just two tubular girls driving it, but two tubular spoilers too - front and rear - so you could really dial in that aero.
Kathy Smith
Even though you can get big money for this poster on Amazon nowadays, I still don't know who Kathy Smith is or if she's famous for something other than this poster. How she came into my life, I'll never know, but I'm guessing I discovered her at Spencer's, much in the same way a Hollywood mogul discovers a young starlet. I was Immediately smitten, what with Kathy's golden locks blowing in the rowing machine, as she pushes the tensile stability of what appears to be a neoprene workout...what would you call that, a swim suit? A singlet? Whatever, it doesn't matter. Nothing matters when she's in your bedroom, staring down your pimply face, as she's going to work on those 10-pound weights. And then you read that plucky inspirational "Believe in yourself" signature, and how can you not? I can recall many a morning reading that, kissing each of Kathy's ample breasts, throwing on some white lifting gloves, and having some inspired workouts of my own.
Commando
John Matrix was the baddest mofo on the planet, as far as I was concerned. When Matrix goes "shopping" for arms with co-conspirator Rae Dawn Chong, it's probably the second best arming scene in all of film, right after another '80s classic, "Red Dawn," which did not feature Rae Dawn Chong, though it sounds like it should have. When Arnold finally lands on the beach to go save his daughter Alyssa "Mint" Milano, the suiting up scene is...well, it's just the camouflaged embodiment of totally awesome. But what really secured John Matrix's placement on my wall was that move where he uses the saw blade as a Chinese star and lops off that guy's skull. God, what a great role model for a young, impressionable 11-year-old.
Heather Thomas
I need only to close my eyes to be right there with feathered Heather in her teal bikini, showing off most the goods as she exits that dressing room during "The Fall Guy's" opening credits. That's the indelible impression Heather left on many a young man back in the day. But to supplement her TV career, Heather brilliantly went the poster girl route, and in doing so, the Fall Guy's gal became the undisputed queen of my bedroom. As memorable as that "Fall Guy" credits image is to me, it's the poster above that first springs to mind when I think of Heather Thomas, fondly, in no small part due to that thing she does with her bikini strap. Many a night I spent wondering what goes on underneath that thing.
Michael Jackson
Before we all worried about what our adoration had turned Michael Jackson into, we all adored Michael Jackson, particularly Thriller-era MJ. Since the bestselling album ever often came with a free poster, you probably had a Thriller poster too. Weird to think that of all the billions of people who loved MJ, that tiger was the only one who ever really understood him.
Michael Jordan
If you didn't have a poster of His Airness on your wall, you were a hater (or just a Cavs fan). But actually, most of this MJ's most memorable posters probably came before the championships, right around '87 and '88, when he was flying into dunk contest history. Nobody jumped as far, as high, as long, or as stylishly as Jordan, which was perfect for posterizing, and also somewhat amazing, considering he was placing bets the whole time he was up there.
Star Wars
If you didn't have a "Star Wars" poster on your wall back in the day, odds are good you bitched about your Facebook feed the other day. Depending on which year it was, I had a rotating collection of iconic "Star Wars" posters, so it was hard to decide which one to choose for this list -- the official movie posters, Yoda or Wicket stand alones, or the one above. So I went with a "Star Wars" poster that also doubles as one of a pinup girl -- a chained-up, dressed-down royal pinup girl who feels the force flowing within.
Ferrari Testarossa
Not only is the Testarossa the car in "Outrun," the first driving game I'd ever played that actually had a shifter, but more importantly, this was also Sonny Crockett's second Ferrari, the white one, the one that made me think that a career in law enforcement was a surefire way to get rich. Fortunately, I started doing lots of drugs in high school and learned the truth.
Victory
Remember when Stallone teamed up with Michael Caine and Pelé to play Allied POWs during World War II who go up against a Nazi soccer team in a "friendly." As a youngster, this poster was as inspirational as Kathy Smith. I didn't need one of those stupid quotation posters. Nope, I'd just wake up, say good morning to Heather, Christie, Kathy, and Leia, then I'd give a nod to Sly and Pelé, and Caine's curls, and I'd just know that whatever 2nd grade held for me that day, I would conquer it. Of course, this was before I learned that Pelé would have as much chance of playing in that game as my grandmother's murdered family, and in all likelihood, would have very likely been turned into soap. But still, an excellent poster back in 1981.
Kelly LeBrock
Who wasn't crazy in love with the Franken-aerobicizer that Anthony Michael Hall and that other guy made with their computer in "Weird Science?" Not only did this film give a generation of horny little maniacs the realization that girls underwear was much better than boys, but it also gave us the impetus to learn how to use a computer, and so, launched a generation of Oregon Trail experts.
This
I'll admit, I never had this poster, or knew anyone who did. I've never seen it on anyone's wall. But while searching high and low for every classic '80s poster I could find, I discovered this gem of Hall & Oates cozying up to a Pontiac Fiero, which I'm pretty sure is the most crystalline expression of the decade you can find in poster form (not powder form). The only thing that could make this better is if Daryl and John shared a "Bitching!" thought bubble.
Squeaky Clean Ford Pantera
I first got the idea for this list while watching the crappy Corey & Corey movie, "License to Drive." Sorry, it was on, and the remote was far away. Plus, young Heather Graham is irresistible, and, most importantly for this list, the time and place shines through in that inimitable '80s way. In the film, on Corey's bedroom wall (I believe Haim, but I never did quite figure out which one was which), there's a myriad of classic posters, but this is the one that immediately brought me back to middle school: the squeaky clean Pantera, kept that way by an ample amount of suds.
Van Halen
This whole list comes down to personal tastes, really, which is why it is so rad. But if your tastes didn't include Van Halen's 1984, then you had bad taste. And you missed out on David Lee Roth, the King of the Sexy Interlude; Eddie Van Halen, heroic wielder of the world's most recognizable axe; his brother, Alex Van Halen, the man with four kick drums and a gong in one kit; and the bass player.
C4 Corvette
Everybody has particular tastes in cars too, but I doubt most kids were as discerning about cars and babes as they were about music, sports, and movies. Because any car or any babe at that age was just dream material anyways. But still, some cars stand out as being just a bit more dreamy than the rest, and that starts with the C4 Corvette. In 1984, the first C4 looked like the automotive expression of America nuking Russia. It was surely the car Duke from G.I. Joe would drive whenever he and Wild Bill would get shore leave and go bird-dogging for local whores.
Bo Jackson
Vincent Bo Jackson was such a transcendent athlete that even this diehard Broncos fan had the poster above, knowing full well that Jackson played for the hated Raiders. And according to my go-to source for all-things sports, the Champs Sports blog, I now know I wasn't the only one rooting for a guy who wasn't on my team. Apparently, after Nike's "Bo Knows" campaign in support of the Air Trainer 1, sales margins swooshed to the tune of nearly 1,000 percent. See what you can do with cheap labor, suspect business practices, and a Blue-Chip pitch man.
Christie Brinkley
The Uptown Girl, the swimsuit issue cover girl, the girl in the red Ferrari 308 GTS, and the girl in this poster are all era-defining images of one the world's foremost supermodels/infomercial hostesses. In those dreamy days of the mid-'80s, Christie Brinkley was the one you dreamt about.
Lamborghini Countach
I didn't want to overload this list with cars, as even a preteen adolescent punk should be well rounded, but there were a lot of hot rides in the '80s. Perhaps none more posterized than the Countach, the very car driven by the two girls in zip-down unitard pantsuits in "The Cannonball Run." Unfortunately though, none of the posters of the day (at least not the ones that made it to Buckingham Square Mall) really showed that exact car, which had not just two tubular girls driving it, but two tubular spoilers too - front and rear - so you could really dial in that aero.
Kathy Smith
Even though you can get big money for this poster on Amazon nowadays, I still don't know who Kathy Smith is or if she's famous for something other than this poster. How she came into my life, I'll never know, but I'm guessing I discovered her at Spencer's, much in the same way a Hollywood mogul discovers a young starlet. I was Immediately smitten, what with Kathy's golden locks blowing in the rowing machine, as she pushes the tensile stability of what appears to be a neoprene workout...what would you call that, a swim suit? A singlet? Whatever, it doesn't matter. Nothing matters when she's in your bedroom, staring down your pimply face, as she's going to work on those 10-pound weights. And then you read that plucky inspirational "Believe in yourself" signature, and how can you not? I can recall many a morning reading that, kissing each of Kathy's ample breasts, throwing on some white lifting gloves, and having some inspired workouts of my own.
Commando
John Matrix was the baddest mofo on the planet, as far as I was concerned. When Matrix goes "shopping" for arms with co-conspirator Rae Dawn Chong, it's probably the second best arming scene in all of film, right after another '80s classic, "Red Dawn," which did not feature Rae Dawn Chong, though it sounds like it should have. When Arnold finally lands on the beach to go save his daughter Alyssa "Mint" Milano, the suiting up scene is...well, it's just the camouflaged embodiment of totally awesome. But what really secured John Matrix's placement on my wall was that move where he uses the saw blade as a Chinese star and lops off that guy's skull. God, what a great role model for a young, impressionable 11-year-old.
Heather Thomas
I need only to close my eyes to be right there with feathered Heather in her teal bikini, showing off most the goods as she exits that dressing room during "The Fall Guy's" opening credits. That's the indelible impression Heather left on many a young man back in the day. But to supplement her TV career, Heather brilliantly went the poster girl route, and in doing so, the Fall Guy's gal became the undisputed queen of my bedroom. As memorable as that "Fall Guy" credits image is to me, it's the poster above that first springs to mind when I think of Heather Thomas, fondly, in no small part due to that thing she does with her bikini strap. Many a night I spent wondering what goes on underneath that thing.
Michael Jackson
Before we all worried about what our adoration had turned Michael Jackson into, we all adored Michael Jackson, particularly Thriller-era MJ. Since the bestselling album ever often came with a free poster, you probably had a Thriller poster too. Weird to think that of all the billions of people who loved MJ, that tiger was the only one who ever really understood him.
Michael Jordan
If you didn't have a poster of His Airness on your wall, you were a hater (or just a Cavs fan). But actually, most of this MJ's most memorable posters probably came before the championships, right around '87 and '88, when he was flying into dunk contest history. Nobody jumped as far, as high, as long, or as stylishly as Jordan, which was perfect for posterizing, and also somewhat amazing, considering he was placing bets the whole time he was up there.
Star Wars
If you didn't have a "Star Wars" poster on your wall back in the day, odds are good you bitched about your Facebook feed the other day. Depending on which year it was, I had a rotating collection of iconic "Star Wars" posters, so it was hard to decide which one to choose for this list -- the official movie posters, Yoda or Wicket stand alones, or the one above. So I went with a "Star Wars" poster that also doubles as one of a pinup girl -- a chained-up, dressed-down royal pinup girl who feels the force flowing within.
Ferrari Testarossa
Not only is the Testarossa the car in "Outrun," the first driving game I'd ever played that actually had a shifter, but more importantly, this was also Sonny Crockett's second Ferrari, the white one, the one that made me think that a career in law enforcement was a surefire way to get rich. Fortunately, I started doing lots of drugs in high school and learned the truth.
Victory
Remember when Stallone teamed up with Michael Caine and Pelé to play Allied POWs during World War II who go up against a Nazi soccer team in a "friendly." As a youngster, this poster was as inspirational as Kathy Smith. I didn't need one of those stupid quotation posters. Nope, I'd just wake up, say good morning to Heather, Christie, Kathy, and Leia, then I'd give a nod to Sly and Pelé, and Caine's curls, and I'd just know that whatever 2nd grade held for me that day, I would conquer it. Of course, this was before I learned that Pelé would have as much chance of playing in that game as my grandmother's murdered family, and in all likelihood, would have very likely been turned into soap. But still, an excellent poster back in 1981.
Kelly LeBrock
Who wasn't crazy in love with the Franken-aerobicizer that Anthony Michael Hall and that other guy made with their computer in "Weird Science?" Not only did this film give a generation of horny little maniacs the realization that girls underwear was much better than boys, but it also gave us the impetus to learn how to use a computer, and so, launched a generation of Oregon Trail experts.
This
I'll admit, I never had this poster, or knew anyone who did. I've never seen it on anyone's wall. But while searching high and low for every classic '80s poster I could find, I discovered this gem of Hall & Oates cozying up to a Pontiac Fiero, which I'm pretty sure is the most crystalline expression of the decade you can find in poster form (not powder form). The only thing that could make this better is if Daryl and John shared a "Bitching!" thought bubble.
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Gordan Ramsay Verbally Bashing Kids Trying To Cook Is Hilarious (NSFW Language)
For years, we've had the pleasure of watching chef Gordan Ramsay verbally assault other chefs, mainly for food taking too long, for being too cold, for being burnt, for being raw or simply just to entertain home viewers who enjoy laughing at people crying over some risotto. Now, thanks to some brilliant editing, you can also watch Gordan Ramsay yell at poor kids in the kitchen.
These kids who think they are better than me because they can cook more than mac & cheese needed someone to bring them down a notch or two. That's all I'm saying. Although, those kids crying look exactly like me when I haven't eaten in a few hours.
More of chef Ramsay: The Best Of The Gordan Ramsay Meme
These kids who think they are better than me because they can cook more than mac & cheese needed someone to bring them down a notch or two. That's all I'm saying. Although, those kids crying look exactly like me when I haven't eaten in a few hours.
More of chef Ramsay: The Best Of The Gordan Ramsay Meme
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This Moron's Second Story Beer Pong Dunk Attempt Didn't End Well
On the other hand, this might be the most exciting thing that's happened in Montana this year.
Extraordinary yet borderline insane beer pong dunk attempts are becoming almost as trendy as Tila Tequila hate mail. Even Kory Erickson said his recent attempt to dunk a ping pong ball into a red Solo cup on a beer pong table one story below was "not [his] smartest decision."
Smart? No. But it might be the most entertaining decision of his life:
Hey, we all do stupid things when we're drunk. I mean, I once pissed on my buddy after a case race in the Wisconsin Dells. The important thing is surviving and atoning for those mistakes, which in my case involved buying that friend a Denny's breakfast the following morning.
In Kory's case, it might be a tad more expensive, as new beer pong tables range from $60 to $80 these days. And the price to fix slight hip fractures varies depending on whether he sees a doctor in Montana or Tijuana.
h/t BroBible
Dumb: Beer pong dunk attempts from the second story. Dumber: Putting a glow stick in the microwave: Absolute Moron Puts Glow Stick In Microwave And It Explodes In His Face
Extraordinary yet borderline insane beer pong dunk attempts are becoming almost as trendy as Tila Tequila hate mail. Even Kory Erickson said his recent attempt to dunk a ping pong ball into a red Solo cup on a beer pong table one story below was "not [his] smartest decision."
Smart? No. But it might be the most entertaining decision of his life:
Not my smartest decision. #dunkcam @totalfratmove @MensHumor @ImShmacked @WORLDSTAR pic.twitter.com/VbnxD43AUG
- Kory Erickson (@Kory_with__a_K) October 16, 2015
Hey, we all do stupid things when we're drunk. I mean, I once pissed on my buddy after a case race in the Wisconsin Dells. The important thing is surviving and atoning for those mistakes, which in my case involved buying that friend a Denny's breakfast the following morning.
In Kory's case, it might be a tad more expensive, as new beer pong tables range from $60 to $80 these days. And the price to fix slight hip fractures varies depending on whether he sees a doctor in Montana or Tijuana.
h/t BroBible
Dumb: Beer pong dunk attempts from the second story. Dumber: Putting a glow stick in the microwave: Absolute Moron Puts Glow Stick In Microwave And It Explodes In His Face
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This Two-Second Film Is Scarier Than 90 Percent Of All Horror Movies
I'm not a massive fan of horror films, but that's mainly because I just assume that any noise I hear in the middle of the night is a soul-sucking demon ready to make me pay for all the awful things I've done (which would be understandable). But for all of you horror movie fans out there, the tiny clip below is probably scarier than any horror movie you've seen in a while.
And even if you don't find it scary, it still beats all 17 of the "Paranormal Activity" sequels.
This is probably the last time he agrees to watch old family movies.
Via Tumblr
This movie might give the above a run for its money: 'Handjob Cabin' Looks Like The Most Terrifying Horror Movie Of All Time
And even if you don't find it scary, it still beats all 17 of the "Paranormal Activity" sequels.
This is probably the last time he agrees to watch old family movies.
Via Tumblr
This movie might give the above a run for its money: 'Handjob Cabin' Looks Like The Most Terrifying Horror Movie Of All Time
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Weird News: Watch How Cool This Guy Is After Finding Some Drunk Dude Sleeping In His Bed
Usually when we post stories of guys or girls entering the wrong house, they end with the intruder masturbating and getting shot by the home owner.
This story is pretty much the exact opposite of that.
According to Hello U, a man returned home over the weekend and found a drunk stranger sleeping in his bed. But instead of beating the ever-living snot out of him, he remained calm while trying to convince him that he was not only in the wrong bed but also the wrong house.
At one point, the drunk dude tried to say that it was OK because the home owner knew his brother.
"What's your brother's name?" the home owner asked.
We're guessing that the drunk kid responded with "Koy Amay" or something close to it, as we had never heard that name before. And neither had the home owner, who responded with, "I've never heard that name before in my entire life."
"That's all right," the drunk dude responded.
Despite a couple of choice NSFW words and an incoherent rant about paying taxes for the bed, the home owner somehow managed to remain calm and eventually convinced the dude that he was indeed in the wrong house.
The kicker? You guessed it: The drunk bro used to live in the house.
"Do you live in this house now, though?" the home owner asked.
"Oh man. This is so weird," the drunk kid responded.
And we're pretty sure that's drunk talk for, "I do not, and please don't kick my ass."
Hey, at least he wasn't naked: Australian Couple Wakes Up To Find Naked Stranger In Their Bed
This story is pretty much the exact opposite of that.
According to Hello U, a man returned home over the weekend and found a drunk stranger sleeping in his bed. But instead of beating the ever-living snot out of him, he remained calm while trying to convince him that he was not only in the wrong bed but also the wrong house.
At one point, the drunk dude tried to say that it was OK because the home owner knew his brother.
"What's your brother's name?" the home owner asked.
We're guessing that the drunk kid responded with "Koy Amay" or something close to it, as we had never heard that name before. And neither had the home owner, who responded with, "I've never heard that name before in my entire life."
"That's all right," the drunk dude responded.
Despite a couple of choice NSFW words and an incoherent rant about paying taxes for the bed, the home owner somehow managed to remain calm and eventually convinced the dude that he was indeed in the wrong house.
The kicker? You guessed it: The drunk bro used to live in the house.
"Do you live in this house now, though?" the home owner asked.
"Oh man. This is so weird," the drunk kid responded.
And we're pretty sure that's drunk talk for, "I do not, and please don't kick my ass."
Hey, at least he wasn't naked: Australian Couple Wakes Up To Find Naked Stranger In Their Bed
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Weird News: New Mexico Man Kills Friend For Turning Into 'Zombie' After Watching 'The Walking Dead'
While the majority of us are still baffled by the shocking events that went down in last night's "The Walking Dead" (I won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it for fear of being beaten), a guy from New Mexico was busy killing his friend who he believed had turned into a zombie.
After binge-watching "The Walking Dead," 23-year-old Damon Perry fatally beat his friend, 23-year-old Christopher Paquin, with an electric guitar and a microwave, and proceeded to tell police that he thought his friend was turning into one of those damn walkers.
Police arrived to find Perry being held down by maintenance workers, after Perry was found "wielding a knife" and chasing a woman, too.
According to a police statement, "Perry told investigators he had been drinking large amounts of alcohol when his friend began to change into a zombie."
I'm just going to assume that Damon Perry consumed every bottle of liquor in the state for him to actually believe his friend was "turning."
Perry also says that his friend tried to bite him after watching the show.
Perry has been charged with murder and is being held on $800,000 bond.
Via The Guardian
People just need to relax: Wisconsin Man Kills 'Friend' With A Hatchet After Arguing About Oversleeping
After binge-watching "The Walking Dead," 23-year-old Damon Perry fatally beat his friend, 23-year-old Christopher Paquin, with an electric guitar and a microwave, and proceeded to tell police that he thought his friend was turning into one of those damn walkers.
Police arrived to find Perry being held down by maintenance workers, after Perry was found "wielding a knife" and chasing a woman, too.
According to a police statement, "Perry told investigators he had been drinking large amounts of alcohol when his friend began to change into a zombie."
I'm just going to assume that Damon Perry consumed every bottle of liquor in the state for him to actually believe his friend was "turning."
Perry also says that his friend tried to bite him after watching the show.
Perry has been charged with murder and is being held on $800,000 bond.
Via The Guardian
People just need to relax: Wisconsin Man Kills 'Friend' With A Hatchet After Arguing About Oversleeping
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Watch The Moment This Hockey Announcer Realizes He Accidentally Made A Penis Reference
If you were watching a documentary about adult film titles, odds are "Eight Inches of His Shaft" might make an appearance.
But during the broadcast of a professional hockey game? Not so much.
Meet Bob Miller. Miller makes a living broadcasting games for the Los Angeles Kings, who beat the Oilers in Edmonton Sunday night 3-2. But it was Miller who probably wanted to beat himself after dropping this dandy while recalling an old play involving Mario Lessard:
We're not sure who Mario Lessard is or who he played for, but hey, he sounds like a pretty big guy.
h/t Uproxx
Here's a news anchor whose outfit made a dick joke: Australian News Anchor's Jacket Made It Look Like She Was Wearing A Penis Necklace
But during the broadcast of a professional hockey game? Not so much.
Meet Bob Miller. Miller makes a living broadcasting games for the Los Angeles Kings, who beat the Oilers in Edmonton Sunday night 3-2. But it was Miller who probably wanted to beat himself after dropping this dandy while recalling an old play involving Mario Lessard:
We're not sure who Mario Lessard is or who he played for, but hey, he sounds like a pretty big guy.
h/t Uproxx
Here's a news anchor whose outfit made a dick joke: Australian News Anchor's Jacket Made It Look Like She Was Wearing A Penis Necklace
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Weird News: Dog Named Trigger Accidentally Shot His Owner When He Stepped On Her Shotgun
On second thought, naming the dog Ass Chewer wouldn't have been such a bad idea after all.
According to The Guardian, a chocolate Labrador Retriever named Trigger ironically shot his owner in the foot over the weekend when he stepped on the, well, trigger of her 12-gauge shotgun she had left on the ground without its safety on.
Authorities said 25-year-old Allie Carter was hunting waterfowl in the Tri-County Fish and Wildlife Area roughly 140 miles north of Indianapolis Saturday morning when Trigger accidentally stepped on her shotgun, injuring her left foot and toes in the process.
Carter was treated at two hospitals for some reason before she was released. She wasn't charged for the incident despite the fact that she had never taken a hunter's safety course, something that can probably be classified as the second-worst decision she has ever made.
Here's a dog that wishes it had a gun: Florida Man Had Sex With His Pit Bull In Front Of His Neighbors
According to The Guardian, a chocolate Labrador Retriever named Trigger ironically shot his owner in the foot over the weekend when he stepped on the, well, trigger of her 12-gauge shotgun she had left on the ground without its safety on.
Authorities said 25-year-old Allie Carter was hunting waterfowl in the Tri-County Fish and Wildlife Area roughly 140 miles north of Indianapolis Saturday morning when Trigger accidentally stepped on her shotgun, injuring her left foot and toes in the process.
Carter was treated at two hospitals for some reason before she was released. She wasn't charged for the incident despite the fact that she had never taken a hunter's safety course, something that can probably be classified as the second-worst decision she has ever made.
Here's a dog that wishes it had a gun: Florida Man Had Sex With His Pit Bull In Front Of His Neighbors
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