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The Dirtiest Things Ever Rapped By A Lady (NSFW Is An Understatement)

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Rap music is disgusting, far worse than any Penthouse Forum letter, and wonderfully so. Like Penthouse, rap is an imaginary place where a regular guy really can learn the sexual desires and promiscuous behaviors of sultry alpha females. Unless you're a well-made alpha male, who drives girls wild and twerky, where else can you learn such things? For me-more of a sigma guy-rap and porn is it. But connecting to a female rapper's lyrics goes beyond mere sexual attraction. When a girl like Lil' Kim tells you she wants that d--k, you really hear where she's coming from. You get to know her a little bit, her wants, her needs, her dreams, and desires. It's like you're listening to each other. And it's really quite beautiful.

So please, I beg you to withhold your judgment of the ladies below. Yes, they are rapping about disgusting things, things some porn stars might not even do, but in doing so, these ladies bare the pure truth of what's inside them, and unleash true art upon this world. At base, art is connection. And I feel deeply connected to every one of these dirty gals below.

If you haven't realized that some of the lyrics and videos below will be totally not safe for work, kids or judgmental people, then this warning probably can't help you.

Lil' Kim (feat. Puff Daddy) "No Time"
Entertainment, Dirtiest Rap Lyrics By A Female
Trying to pick the dirtiest thing Lil' Kim ever sang is like trying stop masturbating: impossible. But since I wouldn't want to over-Kim-ify this list, I had to try. So I'm going with the "No Time" lyrics below, which just beat out equally dirty drivel in "Big Momma Thang" and "Magic Stick." But while equally dirty, there's no doubt the words below chill me closer to my core. They just hit home. Usually I don't like anyone to even think about my asshole, but when mama says she's gonna dribble down there, I guess I just wiggle and giggle a little. And when she talks about her 380 pistol in the very next line, I kind of want to submit to her forever.

"You the best, Da Da / Now watch mama, go up and down dick to jaw crazy / Uhh! Say my name baby / Before you nut, I'ma dribble down your butt cheeks / Make you wiggle, then giggle just a little"


Nicki Minaj "Anaconda"

Again, we're faced with a difficult task here, as darling Nicki is as dirty as that Prince song about masturbation, I forget what it's called. But I rejected some of her earlier filthy work in lieu this recent hit to congratulate this artist, who could easily have shied away from the raunch once she got to a certain level of radio play respectability. But instead, Nicki emphatically yells eat my asshole to the whole world! What a rebel. And a naughty one at that. But judging from the 527 million views of the video above, I'm pretty sure she's not the only one. And then the next line is a bit nebulous, so maybe you can help me with the reading of it, but is she saying her ass muncher can tell she's not missing many meals because she's got an ample booty, or because she's still got some corn in her booty? Either way, dirty. But one is far dirtier.

"He toss my salad like his name Romaine/ And when we done, I make him buy me Balmain / I'm on some dumb shit, by the way, what he say? / He can tell I ain't missing no meals /Come through and fuck him in my automobile"


Iggy Azalea "PU$$Y"

Near as I can tell this song is about pussy. Which is just great by me, as I'm generally good with all songs on the subject, even if others are a bit more subtle. I tried to count just how many times they say "pussy" in this song, but I lost track at 14. Sorry, but it's easy to get distracted with all that moaning and gyrating going on. Regardless, there's a lot more to this song than just pussy, lyrically speaking. And that thing she says about Listerine, I'm pretty sure it's not about this, but it reminded me about that time I accidentally took a mouthful of Listerine before going down on a girl. Boy was she surprised!

"When you cum, I run / This cat got you missin' me / Bad Boys get a mouth full of pussy aka Listerine"


Khia "My Neck, My Back (Dirty Version)"

When the chorus-"My Neck, my back / Lick my pussy and my crack"-isn't the dirtiest part of the song, you know you're dealing with a minx. If you'll but listen to this American poet, you can hear she's singing a theme song of sorts; Khia expects pleasure. And from the sounds of it, if you don't deliver that pleasure, I get the sense she's not going to stand for it. I also learned a little something I didn't know about thug life from this song, even though I consider myself an expert on the subject, having dabbled during my breakdancing days. When Khia says "the best head comes from a thug," I had no idea; I always thought it came from Jewish girls.

"First you gotta put your neck into it / Don't stop, just do, do it / Then you roll your tongue, from the crack back to the front / then suck it off til I shake and cum nigga / make sure I keep bustin nuts nigga / all over your face and stuff / slow head show me so much love / the best head comes from a thug"


Beyoncé (feat. Jay-Z) "Drunk In Love"

No, she's not rapping, but her husband is. And we have to bend the rules for Beyoncé; she is American royalty at this point, and a fine role model at that. But she's also a dirty, dirty girl when she gets drunk, God bless her. Sure, this is poetically disguised dirtiness, but make no mistakes about it, when Queen B is asking "Why can't I keep my fingers off it, baby?" She's really saying even the Queen needs to bow down before King D every now and again.

"Boy, I'm drinking, I'm singing on the mic til my voice hoarse / Then I fill the tub up halfway then ride it with my surfboard, surfboard, surfboard / Graining on that wood, graining, graining on that wood / I'm swerving on that, swerving, swerving on that big body / Been serving all this, swerve, surfing all in this good, good"


H.W.A. "Eat This"
Entertainment, Dirtiest Rap Lyrics By A Female
If you're not down with acronym, we're talking about Hoes With Attitudes here. Near as I can tell, their attitude seems to be one of confidence, as they are quite certain everyone wants to eat their pussy. And what a great feeling that must be, to know, deep within, that you're a sexual magnet, a tractor beam of cunnilingus. I can only dream of such powers, but because of these women, I can be right there with them, visualizing just where the nose goes. Hopefully, since art inspires more art, such a strong lyrical connection will allow me to share that power with other ladies.

"Give me a quick slick lick on top of this clit / Cause I don't want to see that dick / Pull it out just a little bit / Let your tongue and lips work this clit / Cause quiet as kept, you ain't through yet / Lick around my asshole, that makes me wet / Cause no one knows where the nose goes / Yeah, I like it right there, it's curling my toes / Quit on the dick, it's for a real wussy / So come on down, and eat my pussy"


Princess Superstar "Bad Babysitter"

If I'm following the action correctly, this song is about a bad babysitter who mentally fucks with a child then blows her man while masturbating with the family cucumber, before putting it back in the fridge. That's dirty in a clean, vegetables-are-good-for-you kind of way. Child-abuse hilarity aside, Princess Superstar isn't the best rapper on this list. But she is white. And we needed some racially balanced dirtiness here. Please note, that just because this list contains far more African American ladies, it doesn't mean African American ladies are more dirty in general. It just means they're better rappers.

"All right kid you gotta go to bed, I know it's only 6 but my boy just came over and he wants me to give him head / Sit his bare ass on the couch where you watch Small Wonder / Next time you see Vicky the spot'll be sticky cuz I sucked his dicky and used your mom's cucumber / Don't worry I'll put it back in the Frigidaire"


Trina "Look Back"

This song's chorus might indicate that the man singing "look back at me" is in charge, but right from the get-go we know Trina wears the pants in this relationship. Well, she actually doesn't sound like she's got time for pants, but you know that she means business right from the get-go. Trina doesn't beat around the bush, but does immediately let you know she wants it eaten and filled, and her other hole as well. And yes, I'm talking about the poop shoot. The five hole. The night train. But it's more than just a little butt munching we're dealing with here, we're talking about peeing on each other, folks. Golden showering. C3P0-ing. That's a whole different level of dirty folks. And then she's goes ahead and throws in nose-fucking for good measure. What a lady!

"Put this pussy in yo jaws now smack / Like its Thanksgiving and it ain't coming back / Collard greens neck bones nigga chew this ass / Both hold inspections don't stop til it pass / Licky licky licky licky licky for an hour / I'm gonna make it rain for you here's a golden shower / Smell it like a flower my pussy is a rose / Come a little closer I wanna fuck your nose"


B.W.P. "Cotex"
Entertainment, Dirtiest Rap Lyrics By A Female
This is a song about menstruation. That's all I have to say about that.

"Bitch bleeding all fucking day / Up in her ass, dripping down her legs / Her panties are soaking, drenched in blood / Her ass so cakey, it feel like a bug / She got cramps shooting up as far as her breasts / That bitch got PMS!"


Trina, Shawna, and Foxy Brown (feat. Ludacris) "What's Your Fantasy Remix"
Entertainment, Dirtiest Rap Lyrics By A Female
This is the remix of Ludacris's debut single from 2000's "Back for the First Time" album, and it's actually reason enough to induct Ludacris into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame. Whatever, they let everyone in eventually, so why not expedite matters for the man who got these three bad bitches to get down and dirty, dirtier, and dirtiest in this little ditty. But when Foxy Brown lays it down, Trina and Shawna have to know they've been out-dirtied. I was going to try and just pluck a quote from Foxy's verse in this song, but it's such a badass, unapologetic mission statement, I couldn't justifiably leave any of it out. Besides such inspired words seem like an appropriate ending to such an inspired celebration of the arts.

"I'm a BK bitch, love to ride dick / Ass in his face, cock spread out / Nigga uptown, nigga down south / Same ol' shit, foot's in his mouth / F-O-X call me rough sex /Especially when a bitch get right on the X / Get it, right on X / Fuck him, check right to the next / Bitches go right, Fox right to the left / Nigga can't fuck, burner on his chest / 36 D's, Prada on the breats / Baddest, send him home with na na on his breath / What? How you think a bitch got my rep? / 3 Mills, still BK to the death / Still don't give a fuck / Still pose naked / Still specialize on sittin' on niggas faces / Pop magnum's by the cases / X5 Benz still spend big faces / Big frown, brown, hold first places / You know what you can do nigga? / You can li li li lick me from my ass to my clit / And ruba-dub up on my tits while I nu-nut on your lips, fucka"

More: The 10 Best Songs About Gunning Someone Down

 

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10 Must-See Laugh-Out-Loud Comedy Specials Streaming On Netflix Now

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Now that summer is gone, we're all going to need some laughs to get through life, and there is no more potent medicine than drugs, but if you're hoping to avoid those, you can try comedy instead, which also works. Between some familiar faces and newcomers to the Netflix comedy specials streaming, there's plenty of laughs to be had. And yes, Netflix is the best for streaming, but if you're an opinionated Amazon-loving streamer, you can also check out the Louie C.K. comedy special "Oh My God" and Adam Carolla's "Road Hard" and keep your opinions to yourself. Yay!

Anthony Jeselnik - "Thoughts And Prayers"
Must See Laugh Out Comedy Specials Streaming On Netflix
The lesser-known dry humor of a young, side-burned boy whose punchlines come abruptly and unexpected makes his mark in San Francisco with his first Netflix original special. His jokes are dark and unabashed, and he's hauntingly okay with throwing women and children under the bus (not figuratively) before reviewing his crudeness thereafter.

Jen Kirkman - "I'm Gonna Die Alone"
Must See Laugh Out Comedy Specials Streaming On Netflix
This people-hating, marriage-cursing 40-something divorcee is not only a babe, but she's right on the money. Jen Kirkman likes sex, not being married and is proud of her grey pubes and her general deteriorating lifestyle, and we're absolutely thrilled to hear about how she hates her married friends with kids and loves living alone and sleeping with boys half her age. Her sets are strong, honest and finely-tuned, which is more than we can saw about a few of the other women streaming specials right now.

Chris D'Elia - "Incorrigible"
Must See Laugh Out Comedy Specials Streaming On Netflix
Though a bit spastic and possibly slightly drug addled, D'Elia delivers a dead-on, high-energy 80-minute set about sex, kids and Cubans in Florida, none of which are related topics, thankfully. He loves to laugh at his own jokes in an endearing attempt as though he's telling them for the first time, but his laid-back humorous approach to life, love and pursuit of sexing women is admirable and highly entertaining.

Bill Burr - "I'm Sorry You Feel That Way"
Must See Laugh Out Comedy Specials Streaming On Netflix
Shot in black and white, we get another top-notch special from one of Boston's lesser -educated yet most sensible comedians. In his rants about population control, transgender UFC fighters and racist old men, we walk away once again from Bill's set thinking he makes a whole lot of sense. We see the world in a whole new light, but also we pissed ourselves a little.

Iliza Shlesinger - "Freezing Hot"
Must See Laugh Out Comedy Specials Streaming On Netflix
In her sophomore special, the sexy and high-powered Texas girl gives us another round of on-point female impersonations, awkward dating and saying "eff you" to silk blouses. Her first special "War Paint" was hilariously captivating, filled with goat noises and deliciously raunchy details of her sex life, and now we get a new and improved version of that. And she's fairly easy on the eyes, guys.

Demetri Martin - "At The Time"
Must See Laugh Out Comedy Specials Streaming On Netflix
Clever and cunning, the man behind "Important Things With Demetri Martin" is back on stage with Netflix in a new special that's clean, good fun and laced with culinary observations. What appears to be a large boy with a microphone is a seemingly shy guy who's got a lot on his mind. When it's over, you'll see why he's doing as well as he is, as he doesn't take cheap shots or easy topics, but instead gives us the humorous eye of a thinker.

Nick Offerman - "American Ham"
Must See Laugh Out Comedy Specials Streaming On Netflix
Any lover of Ron Swanson will be swept up by the well-spoken, mustached man that is Nick Offerman in this 80-minute special about living a prosperous life. The act includes partial nudity, acoustic hymns and the wisdom of the mustached, whiskey drink meat lover in all his glory, patriotic color and some childish giggles.

Chris Tucker - "Live"
Must See Laugh Out Comedy Specials Streaming On Netflix
Seeing Chris Tucker live is like switching on a light that hasn't flickered in some time, but when it's on, it's fucking on. The 44-year-old crowd favorite is back with some sensational humor, honesty, and some grit and wit that will have you laughing harder than the first time you saw "Money Talks" in his first Netflix original, 90 minutes of rip-roaring, fast-talking comedy.

Marc Maron - "Thinky Pain"
Must See Laugh Out Comedy Specials Streaming On Netflix
Possibly one of the most underrated specials is the seasoned comedian, Marc Maron, who has come into his prime a bit later than most trending talkers. With his "WTF" podcast, a successfully published book and now an off-the-top random show that's as nonchalant as it is hilarious, we get a boatload of laughs from an experienced former drug addict, self loather and ultimate display of self-aware inadequacy. Maron is the perfect mix of confident comic and terrified storyteller.

Doug Benson - "Doug Dynasty"
Must See Laugh Out Comedy Specials Streaming On Netflix
Well, the show starts with him smoking the dope before coming on stage then blowing the smoke out at the microphone so you know it's going to at least be interesting in some facet or another. Here's an hour special of hanging out with the stoner friend you always wish you had. Words and jokes slowly trickle while Benson reads tweets, stumbles through his act and gives monotone, standstill comedy in its purest form: a human joint.

 

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Weird News: Two Washington Women Wanted For Twerking On Guy In Convenient Store

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Two women are wanted after twerking on an unsuspecting guy who was waiting behind them in line at a convenient store. Washington DC's Metro Police Department have released surveillance video of the two airheads eagerly trying to grind on the guy who wanted no part of them.

News, Two Women Wanted For Twerking On Guy In Store

The incident occurred last month at a store in Washington DC. Footage shows the man trying to walk away from the two women who are trying to get his hands on him and his manhood.

News, Two Women Wanted For Twerking On Guy In Store

Both women are wanted on third-degree sexual abuse charges.

People have had different opinions on the matter with some saying the man is too sensitive and others saying he has every right to press charges.

Take a look at video of the incident below and make your own call:

VIDEO: Two Women Are WANTED FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT . . . They 'FORCIBLY TWERKED' On Some Man . . . And He Wants To PRESS CHARGES!! (Is Dude Being TOO SENSITIVE . . . Or Is That ASSAULT??)

Posted by Mediatakeout on Tuesday, November 10, 2015


Via Daily Mail

Not the best audience: Idiot Falls Off Boat While Watching Bikini-Clad Twerking Girls

 

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Standard Maintenance Report Leaves Apartment Resident Serious Warning About Something Far From Routine

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Everyone knows that basements and attics are where awful things reside; mainly boxes filled with things that remind you how terribly unpopular you were, but they are also the spot where things that shouldn't be anywhere near you live.

The maintenance below wanted to warn an apartment resident of something that might be an issue in his attic:

Funny, Maintenance Worker Leaves Warning For On Receipt

Either he's trying to be funny or there is something with a lot of legs and hair in the attic that needs to be set fire to before moving away.

Via Imgur

This is one way to deal with an unwanted guest: Man Scared Of Spiders Hypes Himself Up To Kill Spider, Fails Massively

 

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10 Bizarre Hangover Cures From Around The World

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Hangovers are a bitch. And all of us have had them (some, admittedly, more than others). Despite the advances we've seen in various scientific channels over the years, nobody seems to have found a definitive cure for this ailment that comes courtesy of the combination of being irresponsible and mass amounts of alcohol. Many people insist they've concocted a remedy, but none have become universal (meaning: they don't work).

When looking at hangover cures on an international scale, the working theory seems to be that in order to cure a hangover, a person must fill their body with something significantly more disgusting than the poison drank the evening prior. This appears to be true for everywhere except North America, where we tend to stick to more palatable cures like coffee, water, ibuprofen, grease courtesy of a Denny's Grand Slam or maybe a sports drink. If these national tricks don't work for you, however, you can always try one of the international remedies below - if you have the balls, that is.

Dried Bull's Penis (Sicily)
bizarre hangover cures around the world, strange hangover remedies
Are you a fan of beef jerky? How about jerky made from a bull's wiener - not so much? According to inhabitants of Sicily, dried bull dong is an incredible cure for a hangover, as the ingredient restores a person's virility and therefore overpowers the hangover, tossing that no-good punk out of your system.

Green Ant Tea (Australia)
bizarre hangover cures around the world, strange hangover remedies
Tea is a standard morning beverage whether a person is harboring a hangover or not. Instead of the more traditional blend of ground tea leaves, however, this majestic hangover cure - courtesy of the Aussies - is made from a much less desirable ingredient: pulverized green ant carcasses. Drink up!

Haejangguk (South Korea)
bizarre hangover cures around the world, strange hangover remedies
Designed for no other purpose, haejangguk literally translates to "soup to cure a hangover," and Koreans have sworn by this stuff for generations. The recipe consists of pork spine, ox blood and cabbage leaves, all of which are then tossed into a zesty broth heavily seasoned with assorted spices.

Leche de Tigre (Peru)
bizarre hangover cures around the world, strange hangover remedies
A morning-after beverage that translates to "tiger milk" is no joke. The drink is an unsavory composite of lime juice, coriander, garlic, onion, chilis, salt, pepper and various seafood offerings and is believed to do the trick - at least for purveyors in Peru. As an added bonus, the potent beverage is believed to be an aphrodisiac, suggesting the drink's secondary purpose is to f*** your hangover away.

Menudo (Mexico)
bizarre hangover cures around the world, strange hangover remedies
Legend has it, in Mexico, nothing cures a tequila-fueled hangover better than cow's stomach stew in a spicy chili pepper broth. The meal is believed to spice the crap out of your system to a point where the alcohol will help loosen your clutch on the toilet.

Pickled Sheep Eyeballs in Tomato Juice (Mongolia)
bizarre hangover cures around the world, strange hangover remedies
Arguably the grossest remedy in this article is a hangover cure consisting of sheep eyeballs and tomato juice. Why the eyeballs? Nobody knows, but the tomato juice is believed to rid the toxic alcohol from your system.

Pickle Juice (Poland)
bizarre hangover cures around the world, strange hangover remedies
Pickle juice was the Gatorade before Gatorade was invented. Professional athletes (and drinkers, of course) would drink it to replenish the electrolytes their bodies shot dead the night prior. It was also an effective means of waking up the next morning since pickle juice is just gnarly.

Sparrow Droppings in Brandy (Hungary)
bizarre hangover cures around the world, strange hangover remedies
Yes, bird shit in a stiff drink is considered a hangover cure to some. Unfortunately, only the brandy would help, as drinking more alcohol will get you drunk again (this is what most of us have coined "hair of the dog"). As for the bird crap, well it's bodily waste, and that stuff isn't good for anybody.

Punish The Bottle (Haiti)
bizarre hangover cures around the world, strange hangover remedies
According to legend, some Haitian voodoo practitioners would stick 13 black-headed pins into the cork of the bottle that caused them their hangover. Was this ceremony committed to punish the bottle who punished themselves the following morning with nausea? Perhaps, but who the hell knows.

Ground Rhino Horns (Vietnam)
bizarre hangover cures around the world, strange hangover remedies
In Vietnam, some people grind rhino horns into hot water and drink it. This is pretty horrible - rhinos shouldn't die for a bogus hangover cure. As a result of its unproven benefits, the demand for rhino horns is far greater than the supply, and many rhinos are being poached.

 

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Model Spends $200K To Look Like Jessica Rabbit

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Model Spends $200K to Look Like Jessica RabbitSome people are willing to go the extra mile when they really want something, and the model in the video above was willing to to go an extra few hundred thousand dollars to look like classic cartoon character, Jessica Rabbit.

Born as a man, the transgender model now named Cassandra has spent about $200,000 in order to look like Jessica Rabbit. From surgeries to her nose, cheeks, lips and even turning her "outy into an inny," Cassandra has no problem showing "Botched" doctors Dubrow and Nassif what all that money spent has gotten her.

Cassandra has some competition: Woman Spends Seven Years Crushing Ribs To Look Like Jessica Rabbit

 

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This 19-Year-Old Was Slinging Mad Dope In College Station

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Yeah, I'll take a dime bag, and if you're not doing anything this Friday night, I'd like to take you out to Red Lobster.

According to KAGS, an attractive 19-year-old woman living near Texas A&M University in College Station is in deep shit after police searched her apartment and found enough weed, blow, ecstasy and meth to make even Charlie Sheen uncomfortable.

sarah furry drug dealer in college station

Sarah Furay was charged with three counts of manufacture and delivery of a controlled substance as well as possession of marijuana after police searched her apartment last week and found "31.5 grams of packaged cocaine, 126 grams of high grad marijuana, 29 ecstasy tablets, methamphetamine and 60 doses of a drug similar to LSD."

She admitted to police that she was storing weed and nose candy in her bedroom, but they were able to nail her with delivery charges after finding texts on her cellphone indicating that she was dealing it as well.

Furay was released from jail after coming up with enough scratch to pay the $39,000 bond, which we assume was a piece of cake based on the list of what was found in her bedroom. She now faces up to 215 years behind bars if she's convicted on all three felony counts, but since she's hot, odds are she'll just get a few months of probation.

Further proof that attractive women never get huge prison sentences: 10 Crimes That Involved Playboy Playmates

 

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10 Times Zack Morris Should Have Gone to Jail

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For some reason Zack Morris has been one of the most beloved TV characters for years, but is it deserved? He may get laughs and cheers, but there's something sinister about his behavior. Not only is it reprehensible, but there are times when it crossed over to criminal. Here are ten times Zack Morris should have gone to jail.

"Model Students"
Entertainment, Ten Times Zack Morries From Saved By The Bell Should Have Gone To Jail
Zack and his team of thugs take over the school store from "the nerds" because apparently they hadn't already monopolized enough of Bayside. Instead of selling notepads and sweatshirts he decides to secretly take pictures of the girls swim team and turn the photos into a calendar. He's basically a voyeur. By the way, were we really supposed to believe the girls were just casually standing like that when he photographed them?

"The Video Yearbook"
Entertainment, Ten Times Zack Morries From Saved By The Bell Should Have Gone To Jail
Bayside decided instead of doing a print yearbook like a normal school, they'd do something timeless like VHS video yearbooks. And whom do they put in charge of this product? Zack Morris, of course. Zack neglects his responsibilities and decides, instead, to dub over the girl's video clips and make them appear to be super horny and looking for dates. Mind you, these are underage girls, so he's basically human trafficking at this point. He's a videotape pimp and doesn't mind destroying lives to make a quick buck.

"Driver's Education"
Entertainment, Ten Times Zack Morries From Saved By The Bell Should Have Gone To Jail
Slater looks like he'll be getting his driver's license before Zack, which means he'll be able to take Kelly on dates and rub up on each other in the backseat. Zack can't have that! Instead of just working harder or applying himself he decides to cut the brakes on the car so Slater will crash and fail. Are you trying to commit a murder, Zack? Slater ends up crashing the car and injuring Kelly, but thankfully no one was too seriously hurt.

"Miss Bayside"
Entertainment, Ten Times Zack Morries From Saved By The Bell Should Have Gone To Jail
Bayside is throwing their annual beauty contest, because that's something a school does, and somehow Screech and Slater get to enter. You know, so the guys of the world can finally win something. Zack bets money on Screech, and to make sure Slater doesn't win he starts slandering Slater and telling everyone that he went crazy and punched Screech in the face. Is there nothing he won't do in order to come out ahead? No. The answer is no.

"Fatal Distraction"
Entertainment, Ten Times Zack Morries From Saved By The Bell Should Have Gone To Jail
The big dance is coming up and all the guys want to know whom the girls are interesting in going with. Zack knows Kelly wants to go with him. How does he know this? Oh, that's because Zack and placed a bug in Kelly's room to spy on them during her slumber party. He's the Edward Snowden of teenage relationships.

"Glee Club"
Entertainment, Ten Times Zack Morries From Saved By The Bell Should Have Gone To Jail
There's a prize of going to Hawaii for the glee club that wins the local competition, so obviously Zack and his squad of goons must join at once. Since they have no singing abilities Zack decides to record an actual group and pretend it's them singing. The tape ends up getting destroyed during the performance and they get bailed out by Screech and Tori Spelling, but the should've been kicked out of the building immediately for cheating. Way to always be complete trash, Zack.

"Fake IDs"
Entertainment, Ten Times Zack Morries From Saved By The Bell Should Have Gone To Jail
In order to get into a nightclub, Zack starts buying fake IDs. For some reason, instead of going to a regular club that sells alcohol, they buy a fake ID for a club that you have to be 18 or older to get into. Why is this even a thing? Do you need an ID to make sure you can have that much Sprite without your parent's permission?

"The Wicked Stepbrother"
Entertainment, Ten Times Zack Morries From Saved By The Bell Should Have Gone To Jail
Jesse's stepbrother Eric moves into town for like a week because clearly his parents care about him and what's best for his life. He immediately starts manipulating Zack and the gang, which infuriates Zack because he's the one that usually does the manipulating. To get Eric in trouble Zack and Slater tell him he can borrow their car to go on a date with Lisa. The problem is that it's Mr. Belding's car. Are they trying to get Eric arrested? Grow up you mutants.

"All in the Mall"
Entertainment, Ten Times Zack Morries From Saved By The Bell Should Have Gone To Jail
After making Screech sleep overnight at the mall, the gang plans on doing what any teenager goes to the mall to do and that's buying tickets to see U2. Screech of course screws it up because he's an idiot, but luckily they find a bag of money under a bench. Instead of returning it to the authorities Zack decides to take it and buy a bunch of tickets to scalp. He's like the human version of a Craigslist scam.

"Drinking and Driving"
Entertainment, Ten Times Zack Morries From Saved By The Bell Should Have Gone To Jail
After drinking and driving and then crashing a car, Zack and his crew of infidels learn an important lesson by going to jail. Wait, what's that? They didn't go to jail? Oh, instead they were just given a stern talking to by Lisa's mom. That will teach them! How about you lock this monster up before he becomes the next serial killer?

 

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Watch Julia Louis-Dreyfus Curse On 'Sesame Street'

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Every kid grew up watching Elmo and his Muppet friends hang around "Sesame Street" while they interacted with adults and taught everyday lessons. But sometimes Elmo and his pals can push the wrong button, and that was certainly the case when Julia-Louis Dreyfus was on set.

Take a look at how far those furry creatures pushed the popular comedian:



Sometimes you need to let out a good curse, even if it's on the set of a children's show; those kids have to learn, they have to learn.

At least Elmo was all on board with cursing if it meant he got paid.

It's not all sunshine on "Sesame Street" 12 'Sesame Street' Scandals That Have Plagued The Show's History

 

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Did Ken Jennings' 'Star Wars' Joke Break The 'Too Soon' Rule?

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Daniel Fleetwood, the 32-year-old hardcore "Star Wars" fan who asked to see the new "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" film before anyone else because he was fighting spindle cell sarcoma, died today in his sleep. And while he did get to see the film before he passed thanks to Disney and J.J. Abrams, the Internet did what it does best and started telling jokes.

One guy in particular, Ken Jennings, known for his "Jeopardy!" success, went on his Twitter to post the joke below:

News, Ken Jennings, The Most Too Soon Joke You Can Make Right Now

What do you think? Too soon? Or a perfectly dark joke?

Not a good look: 20 Of The Dumbest Celebrity Tweets Of All Time, Vol. 2

 

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Oklahoma Woman Drives Stolen Car Straight Into Police Officer Telling Her To Stop

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In what has to be the most exciting thing to ever happen in the town of Sand Springs, Oklahoma, a 41-year-old woman stole an SUV last Friday and then led police on a chase that ended only after she rammed the vehicle into a police officer who was standing outside of his vehicle and telling her to stop.

Odds are Stacey Ann Bunsey couldn't hear the officer telling her to stop, but the gun he had pointed at her should have told her as much.

Thankfully, the officer only suffered minor abrasions and was treated at a nearby hospital. And thankfully for us, he was wearing a body cam that captured the madness:



According to the Daily Mail, Bunsey still had to be subdued with a taser after the crash, and she "referred to herself as God while being tased and sang the song 'Jesus Loves Me' as she was placed in handcuffs."

If you're like us, you're probably asking yourself what kind of monster would plow a stolen vehicle into a police officer with his gun drawn telling you to stop and then sing "Jesus Loves Me" when it's fairly obvious that he doesn't.

Well, here's your answer:

Stacey Ann Bunsey drives stolen car into police officer

Geez. Swipe left, brother.

More from the world bat shit crazy drivers hitting police cars: Here's A North Carolina Woman Ramming Two Police Cars Before Flipping Her Own Car

 

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These 12 People's Post-Sex Routines Are Humorous And Specific

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funny post-sex routines
Anyone who is lucky enough to have sex regularly knows that in time, certain routines (mostly involving cleaning up) develop. It's bound to happen after doing the same basic thing over and over again. But routine as some activities may be, they're still hilarious when said outright. The following Reddit answers when asked "What's your post-sex routine" may even hit a little close to home for some of you.

1. Been There
I wake up and realize I'm all alone again.

Damn you dreams.

2. Also Sounds About Right
Apologize profusely.

3. Emasculate
funny post-sex routines
I usually like to play with his flaccid penis, but if not, then we'll cuddle and fall asleep together.

4. Seriously? How Is This A Thing!?
Go pee, then play with the flaccid penis.

5. Playing It Safe
funny post-sex routines
I just cover my dick with like 5 tissues when I'm about to cum.

6. Playing It REALLY Safe And-- OH, COME ON! Again With The Flaccid Penis!?
My girlfriend insists we test the condom with water after using it. Every. Single. Time. So that's my super sexy post-sex routine. She also finds my flaccid penis extremely humorous so no laying there naked or she'll start poking it and laughing at it.

5. Telling It Like It Is
We sit there for like a minute... then I roll off the bed and shuffle to the bathroom to avoid dripping. I pee and cough a few times and that does a pretty good job of getting stuff out. Clean up with wipes or shower.

Husband rolls off his side. He sometimes uses the same bathroom, sometimes goes to the other one. He too pees, cleans off.

We get dressed and either go to bed or go watch some television. There aren't usually a lot of cuddles. We give each other props, you know, good job and what not... but we aren't too big on relishing the moment. In fact, keeping the sheets clean is probably a higher priority. Nothing is worse than realizing you have to change the sheets and all you want to do is sleep.

9. Snackin' In The Past
funny post-sex routines
Eat.

I'm not exaggerating. The greatest moment of my life was me sitting in bed watching Bob's Burgers with a Publix chicken tender sub right after awesome sex and a hot, big-boobed chick sleeping naked next to me.

It's been two years and I still haven't been able to recapture that moment.

9. The Coddler
Husband typically either cums inside me, on my stomach, face or mouth. Usually will blow/lick him a bit to clean him up, then I'll leave to clean myself up and come back to bed to cuddle.

10. Sad, But Accurate
The nearest piece of clothing becomes the 'wiper'.

11. So Lonely
I close all the tabs and wipe off whatever might have gotten on my hand.

12. The Wuss
funny post-sex routines
Hand my wife a towel to wipe off and try to cuddle after she uses the bathroom. I'm the cuddler not my wife :/

 

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Weird News: Shark Bites Naked Man Swimming At Hawaiian Nude Beach

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Thankfully, it just bit his leg.

According to Huffington Post, a 54-year-old naked man who was swimming at Kehena Black Sand Beach in Pahoa is lucky to be alive after some pervert shark bit him in his right leg last week.

nude swimmer gets bitten by shark

Paul O'Leary, a regular nude swimmer, said he initially thought he had just scraped his foot on something sharp when he was swimming in the murky waters last Tuesday. But when he couldn't kick his foot as he tried to swim back to shore and looked back to see flesh hanging off of his right leg, he realized that it was much more serious.

"My foot started acting kind of weird and was actually kind of twisting," O'Leary said. "And when I looked down then I saw the lacerations, I saw the flesh and the skin just hanging out there. I was just kind of like 'Someone bit me.'"

A brave man O'Leary met the day before jumped into the water and helped bring him to shore, and once he was on the beach, O'Leary said he had just one thing in mind.

"There's about five people putting pressure on the cut and I told them I wanted to get my clothes on."

Well, if seeing a naked 54-year-old man wasn't enough to keep you away from nude beaches, the shark bite should pretty much do the trick.

These guys weren't as lucky: 10 Fatal Shark Attack Tales That Will Make You Never Want To Swim Again

 

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More Awkward As Hell 'Meeting The Parents' Stories That Will Make You Cringe

This Is What Floyd Mayweather Is Doing At 5:16 AM

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It can be frustrating not living like Floyd Mayweather on a daily basis. If his latest tweet is any indication, he has more fun before you even wake up in the morning than you've had in your entire life combined up to this point. That never makes a man feel good. But so long as we are all living vicariously through him, that's all that matters.


Floyd Mayweather likes to overshare on social media: The 10 Biggest Celebrity Social Media Controversies of 2014

 

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Rockstars In Rehab: Famous Cases Of Sex, Drugs & Rock 'N' Roll Overdoses

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It may be hard to overdose on the sex and the rock 'n' roll, but many of history's most famous musicians didn't have much trouble becoming addicted to drugs. Fortunately, some of the best rockstars to go into rehab have managed to bounced back and create some of their best work. Then again, several more, sadly, have not. What follows is a mixed bag of both.

Anthony Kiedis
famous cases of rock star rehab, anthony kiedis
Any fan of rock 'n' roll memoirs has probably scrolled through a few hundred pages of "Scar Tissue," one of the best of its kind. In it, Red Hot Chili Peppers' drug-addled wild man Anthony Kiedis divulges that he has been a funky junkie for most of his career since the band's start in the early '80s. After multiple stints of various courses of drug use, the singer battled through rehab over several albums before finally cleaning up in 2007, causing the band's key guitarist to split.

Trent Reznor
famous cases of rock star rehab, trent reznor
Many people liked Nine Inch Nails' Trent Reznor better when he was high back in the '90s, but he went into rehab in 1999 after accidentally overdosing on heroin while in support of "The Fragile." Considered one of rock history's greatest frontmen, Reznor went on to successfully release more NIN albums, start a side project called How to Destroy Angels and snag an Oscar for his score of "The Social Network."

Courtney Love
famous cases of rock star rehab, courtney love
After the loss of Kurt Cobain, Courtney Love continued on with her heroin addiction until 1996, along with the soon-after release of "Live With This" and the rise of Hole. After the 1998 success of "Celebrity Skin," Hole split and left Love alone with her drug habits, flying solo in 2003 and winding up in rehab by 2004 after a suicide attempt. She returned for another round in 2005. Since 2007, however, she has remained clean and sober.

David Bowie
famous cases of rock star rehab, david bowie
One of the most successful singers to fly solo, David Bowie headed into rehab briefly after his peak of fame in the late '70s. He was living in Berlin and heavily using cocaine while recording "Station to Station," a rocky-reviewed 1976 record released shortly after the rise and fall of Ziggy Stardust, whose own drug influence appears to be a little more prevalent.

Iggy Pop
famous cases of rock star rehab, iggy pop
The Stooges frontman popped into rehab in 1976 following his time with the band, which ended in 1974 after a drug-fueled fight with some bikers after their final show. Drugs would suspend Iggy Pop from working, but his time in Berlin with David Bowie was their attempt to isolate and wean themselves of their drug addictions together. Bowie visited Pop in Los Angeles during his rehab, brought him along on his "Station to Station" tour and then ended up checking himself into rehab, as well. By 1980, Pop published an autobiography titled "I Need More."

Ozzy Osbourne
famous cases of rock star rehab, ozzy osbourne
No stranger to drugs, rehab, reality TV or rock 'n roll mugshots, the Black Sabbath replacement singer who replaced the singers who replaced him - yeah, sound that one out - remains the most youthful of the elderly musicians who are somehow still rocking. An avid drug abuser since the early '70s, Ozzy Osbourne didn't check himself into rehab until 1986 before going solo, returning to Black Sabbath, suffering hearing loss and returning to drugs until 2013 at the age of 64. No wonder he's in such good shape.

Steven Tyler
famous cases of rock star rehab, steven tyler
Several sources, including Steven Tyler himself, have suggested the Aerosmith singer has "blown" through $20 million worth of cocaine in his lifetime. The frontman was even quoted as saying he'd snorted half of Peru. At one point, he was basically broke due to his coke and heroin habit, which ultimately lead to multiple stints of rehab, the most successful being his eighth one in 2009.

Pete Doherty
famous cases of rock star rehab, pete doherty
Actor, artist and The Libertines singer Pete Doherty always struggled with drugs and the law, with crack, heroin and weed being his main vices. His somewhat recent disappearance in late 2014, labeled a "medical emergency," had people wondering. By early 2015, his overseas Thailand rehab had been completed and the singer has since returned to his music career with new releases.

Elton John
famous cases of rock star rehab, elton john
Shortly after the overwhelming success of "Yellow Brick Road," the Grammy-winning pianist suffered from a drug overdose while also struggling with bulimia during Elton Week of 1975 in Los Angeles. However, he still managed to release two albums that year, including "Rock of the Westies," along with another album the following year.

Keith Urban
famous cases of rock star rehab, keith urban
The country star first checked himself into rehab for drug and alcohol abuse in 1998 after extensive cocaine use. He would return to rehab in 2006, just months after marrying Nicole Kidman, citing that letting his guard down in recovery was a bad idea. After completing rehab in 2007, the release of "Love, Pain & The Whole Crazy Thing" followed.

 

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Today's Funny Photos

The 10 Most Bodacious Blonde Babes From '80s Movies

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The '80s movie brought us a distinctive brand of female beauties. Lots of them strolled the halls of high schools while others found classic camaraderie or conflict with supernatural forces, hellbent heroes or run-of-the-mill evildoers. And though they flaunted a variety of physical traits, there was something truly eye-catching about the blonde babe. Some would be remembered only for their work that decade, but others would go on to renown fame. Let's take a look at the 10 most memorable flawless, flaxen ladies.

Kelli Maroney
bodacious blonde 80s movie babes, hottest blonde 80s movie babes, kelli maroney
The name may be more familiar to soap opera fans than moviegoers, but her face is one all '80s aficionados remember. The decade saw her in a very small role in perhaps its greatest high school-set masterpiece, a large role in one of its most underrated apocalyptic comedies, and the lead role in a classic slasher rip-off featuring homicidal robots. She may not be long on resume, but this blonde babe arguably possesses the most girl-next-door look of any of the other ladies on our list. With vintage '80s curls, Kelli Maroney brought an unforgettable golden-haired spark to the big screen.

Kim Walker
bodacious blonde 80s movie babes, hottest blonde 80s movie babes, kim walker
She burst onto the scene during the dusk of the '80s like a bat out of hell, portraying a figure that could terrorize high schoolers better than Jason Voorhees or Voldemort or Pacific Northwest vampires and werewolves combined. Bane of the student body - a Heather no less - and the most vile and craven of the lot, Kim Walker played this devil in plaid shoulder pads so convincingly that we were left to wonder if she might not actually be a true psychopath. The '80s gave us many teenage vixens out to destroy innocent lives, but this blonde babe's Heather was the most gloriously horrific of them all, boasting both beauty and brutality in equal measures.

Amanda Peterson
bodacious blonde 80s movie babes, hottest blonde 80s movie babes, amanda peterson
Sadly in the news this year because of her death, Amanda Peterson was the knockout whose one successful '80s film left her image seared into the minds of red-blooded men far and wide. In "Can't Buy Me Love," she played the top of her high school's elite who, due to desperate circumstances, agrees to pose as a nerd's girlfriend in his quest for popularity. Patrick Dempsey played the nerd and thanks to their easygoing chemistry, every self-conscious young man believed that they, too, could now win over the once-seemingly unattainable blonde babe of their dreams.

Kristy Swanson
bodacious blonde 80s movie babes, hottest blonde 80s movie babes, kristy swanson
In a way, we watched this blonde babe grow up as a student of the '80s movie, showing up briefly in important places here and there - like at the prom at just the right moment or describing Ferris Bueller's perilous condition - way before graduating to one of films most famous vampire slayers in the '90s. And somewhere in between all this she also got herself locked up in an attic. Like many of her fellow listmates, Kristy Swanson looked just like that girl you had a crush on in high school - maybe you knew her best as a cheerleader or from the field hockey team or simply for sitting achingly close behind you on the bleachers in gym class. For many of us, '80s movies mirrored our own life's journey in and out of the classroom, and Kristy Swanson's may have been the most alluring reflection of all.

Helen Slater
bodacious blonde 80s movie babes, hottest blonde 80s movie babes, helen slater
Better known for her short cropped hair, Helen Slater first flew into our hearts as the long-locked "Supergirl" in the terrible adaptation of the spun-off comic book heroine. But her appeal was undeniable and the flop had no kryptonitic effect on her. She rounded out the decade with appearances in pretty respectable comedies, but it was her role as the Joan of Arc-esque lead in "The Legend of Billie Jean" and all its awesome nonsense for which this blonde babe is most remembered.

Rebecca De Mornay
bodacious blonde 80s movie babes, hottest blonde 80s movie babes, rebecca de mornay
All she had to do was play a prostitute who seduced a young Tom Cruise and upheave his life just long enough until his parents came home and Rebecca De Mornay joined the esteemed ranks of our blonde babes. It wouldn't be until the '90s when she would find her way back onto our radar playing a psychopathic nanny in "The Hand That Rocks The Cradle." Even though it is Cruise's no pants dance that is most associate with "Risky Business," it was De Mornay's singular sex appeal that brought an unforgettable edginess to the risky '80s comedy.

Courtney Thorne-Smith
bodacious blonde 80s movie babes, hottest blonde 80s movie babes, courtney thorne-smith
Before she was a '90s TV queen, she was an '80s movie blonde. Courtney Thorne-Smith usually played a high schooler so hot she'd make concentrating on any classwork impossible, especially as an underachiever in a wetsuit in "Summer School." She's gone on to have an amazing career, though, continuing her work onscreen today on hit show after hit show. But she is hard to forget in her earliest film roles. In fact, we may remember her then better than anything we ever learned in high school.

Christie Brinkley
bodacious blonde 80s movie babes, hottest blonde 80s movie babes, christie brinkley
She has one '80s movie credit to her name, but it's a doozy. Anyone trapped on a cross-country getaway with their families would much rather pine for the fantasy girl repeatedly seen driving past them in a Ferrari than participate in anything going on in their own car. Even if it's a green, wood-paneled Family Truckster. When "National Lampoon's Vacation" was released in 1983, there was no other blonde babe around who could cause rubber necking quite like Christie Brinkley. Frankly, there are no sights to be seen on any road trip that could ever compare to her.

Daryl Hannah
bodacious blonde 80s movie babes, hottest blonde 80s movie babes, daryl hannah
She played one fine looking robot, mermaid and cavewoman within just the first half of the '80s, with the latter half left to continue our desires for her that decade. She didn't have to speak very much, and yet we couldn't get enough of Daryl Hannah. With her long golden locks, she definitely possessed something uncommon that set her apart. Playing no schoolgirl roles like most of the others on this list, this blonde babe captivated us onscreen and out in the real world. She could even hook an '80s movie hero despite sporting a tail.

Meg Ryan
bodacious blonde 80s movie babes, hottest blonde 80s movie babes, meg ryan
First truly noticed by movie audiences in the middle of the '80s, then portraying perhaps one half of romantic comedy's greatest onscreen duos in the decade's last year, Meg Ryan was the smoking hot babe with an innocent, girl-next-door quality that made her even more desirable. With spiky hair and a fixed expression of curiosity and surprise, she reached the highest level of film fame out of all the ladies on this list. But before attaining the ranks of Hollywood royalty, she was that head-turning blonde babe that we couldn't get out of our minds.

 

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10 True Crime Stories Worthy Of The 'Serial' Treatment

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The world of podcasts got a major boost in exposure with "Serial," the NPR-created chronicle of a murder in Baltimore and the man who went to prison for it. Adnan Syed strongly proclaimed his innocence in the death of Hae Min Lee, but was convicted and sentenced to life in prison plus 30 years. Friends and investigators had doubts, producer Sarah Koenig dug into them, and it made for some unforgettable radio. "Serial" is coming back for another season, but we thought we'd help them out by spotlighting ten incredible crime stories that could use some in-depth investigation.

The Christina McNeil Murder
News, Crime, 10 Crimes Stories Worthy Of Serial Treatment
What could be worse than going to jail for the crime of murdering your own child? Going to jail for that crime when you didn't commit it. One of the most interesting cases being handled by the Illinois branch of the Innocence Project, the non-profit that advocated for Adnan Masud and other people potentially wrongly convicted, concerns Barton McNeil, a divorced father found guilty of killing his daughter Christina in her sleep in 1998. The evidence against McNeil was flimsy, and the court wouldn't let his lawyer bring in his ex-girlfriend Misook Nowlan for questioning. When Nowlin was arrested for the murder of her mother-in-law in 2011 in scarily similar circumstances, it raised a red flag and McNeil is working to have his case reopened after 16 years in prison.

The Ken Rex McElroy Murder
News, Crime, 10 Crimes Stories Worthy Of Serial Treatment
One of the most important aspects of a true crime story is the setting, and the Missouri town of Skidmore is a location that can't be beat. In 1981, one of the most bizarre murders of all time happened in broad daylight, in view of dozens of people. Ken Rex McElroy was Skidmore's most hated man, in and out of jail multiple times for assault, arson, burglary and statutory rape. For some reason, the legal system could never put him away for good. When he shot and wounded the town's beloved 70 year old grocer, Skidmore finally fought back. On the morning of July 10, 1981, McElroy was shot dead by two separate rifles while sitting in his truck with his wife. Nobody was ever charged in the case, and heading to Skidmore to talk to the witnesses - all potential murderers - would make for a seriously bad-ass "Serial."

The Ricky McCormick Cipher
News, Crime, 10 Crimes Stories Worthy Of Serial Treatment
One of the things that made "Serial" so popular was the feeling that listeners were trying to solve a puzzle along with the show's hosts. So why not bring in a notorious unsolved mystery that has a major puzzle-solving aspect for a future season? In 1999, the corpse of a man named Ricky McCormick was found in a field in St. Charles County, Missouri. He was already decomposed enough that no cause of death could be determined, and he had last been seen alive at a local hospital five days earlier. It wasn't until police searched his pockets that the real mystery was revealed: McCormick had two sheets of paper with writing on them in an encrypted code that the FBI hasn't been able to crack to this day. But what the FBI failed at, NPR listeners may be able to accomplish.

The John Gilbride Murder
News, Crime, 10 Crimes Stories Worthy Of Serial Treatment
The best crime stories go in unusual directions. When John Gilbride was shot to death in his car in September of 2002, police had one major suspect: MOVE, a domestic terrorist group in the Philadelphia area. Gilbride had been married to Alberta Africa, the widow of MOVE founder John Africa, and earlier in the month had appeared in court testifying that the group was threatening to kill him. His prediction came true, but the murder was never solved. MOVE members assert either that the hit was planned by the U.S. government to frame the organization or that Gilbride faked his own death and is out there somewhere.

The Death Of Andrew Sadek
News, Crime, 10 Crimes Stories Worthy Of Serial Treatment
We don't want to venture too far back into the past for these cases - obviously any podcast producer wants to be able to talk to as many living persons of interest as possible. That's what makes the mysterious death of Andrew Sadek such a great choice. Sadek was a State College of Science student who worked as a confidential informant for the local police department, selling marijuana to other students in sting operations. In Spring of 2014, Sadek mysteriously disappeared, and two months later his body was found in a river on campus with a backpack full of rocks and a bullet in his head. Did he commit suicide, or was he taken out by someone he betrayed? It's a fascinating story with a lot of potential.

The Keith Ratcliff Murder
News, Crime, 10 Crimes Stories Worthy Of Serial Treatment
One thing that makes for a good podcast is a peek into a world we'd normally not be part of, and the universe of YouTube gun enthusiasts is a perfect pick. A thriving subculture of individuals who film themselves firing off high-powered ordinance is out there, and one of the most famous among them was Keith Ratliff, who managed the popular FPSRussia channel. Over 3.5 million people subscribed to his channel to watch Keith and friends blow away pictures of Justin Bieber. In January of 2013, Ratliff's body was found dead in his garage, a single bullet in his head. He was surrounded by guns, all of them his, and none of them fired. It'd be amazing to delve into the world of recreational gun culture while trying to solve this completely inexplicable crime.

The Tear Drop Rapist
News, Crime, 10 Crimes Stories Worthy Of Serial Treatment
Here's another chilling tale of possibly unjust imprisonment from the Innocence Project. In December of 1999, Luis Vargas stood before the Los Angeles Superior Court and received a sentence of 55 years to life for raping three women. Vargas stridently proclaimed his innocence, but it wasn't until years later that he was able to reach out to the world. After he was jailed, Los Angeles was plagued with over 30 sexual assaults by a man dubbed the "Tear Drop Rapist," identified by the tattoo of a drop under his eye. That was the same tattoo that witnesses used to identify Vargas - but what are the odds that two rapists would have the same face ink? DNA tests seem to clear Vargas of the crime, but he is still behind bars waiting for the wheels of justice to turn.

The Doodler Murders
News, Crime, 10 Crimes Stories Worthy Of Serial Treatment
A great true crime story is about more than just the individuals involved - it's also a reflection of the times we live in. Although the "doodler murders" happened in the 1970s, their investigation can tell us a lot about the way we treat LGBTQ people today. While the Zodiac Killer was snatching up the headlines in San Francisco, another predator was on the streets, exclusively killing young gay men. His trademark? Introducing himself to his victims by drawing portraits of them on bar napkins. It's unknown how many men the Doodler claimed, as the media wasn't thrilled to report on San Francisco's gay culture, and digging up this crime could lead to some fascinating discoveries.

The John P. Wheeler III Case
News, Crime, 10 Crimes Stories Worthy Of Serial Treatment
Most of these bizarre mysteries concern people who aren't much in the public eye. This one is a huge exception. John P. Wheeler III was the founder of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund, the CEO of Mothers Against Drunk Driving and a former executive at Amtrak. So when a sanitation worker spotted his body atop a trash heap at Delaware's Cherry Island Landfill in 2010, it raised a number of questions. Wheeler had been spotted in the days prior acting disoriented around several office complexes in the state, but there's as of yet no explanation for his behavior. The cause of death was blunt force trauma, ruled a homicide, and police have no leads.

The Chillicothe Vanishings
News, Crime, 10 Crimes Stories Worthy Of Serial Treatment
Most of the cases in this list are several years old, allowing for a little critical and historical distance. But what if "Serial" put itself in the middle of a case that was happening right now? Our suggestion is the mysterious disappearance of six women in Chillicothe, Ohio, which is perplexing law enforcement officers as we write this. Over the past year, the bodies of Tiffany Sayre, Tameka Lynch, Shasta Himelrick and Timberly Claytor have been discovered in parks and streams around the small town, while two other women - Charlotte Trego and Wanda Lemons - are still missing. Interestingly enough, all six women knew each other, which is rare in cases like these.

 

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Model Walks Around Hong Kong With Painted-On Skinny Jeans, No One Notices

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While the majority of my skinny jeans look like I borrowed them from my sister, I can't say I would be eager to try a pair of painted-on skinny jeans like one model did.

Vytaute, a model, agreed to let makeup artist Sandra Bakker from the Netherlands paint a pair of skinny jeans on her. Once that was all done, the half-naked model went on a stroll through Hong Kong to see if anyone would notice (even donning a shirt that says "No pants are the best pants), but no one noticed.

Check out the video below:



Via Unilad

Someone noticed this: A Scottish Model Got Super Naked At The Australian Rules Football Grand Final

 

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