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17 More Very Awesome 'Shower Thoughts' To Keep The Wheels Spinning

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When you are taking a shower, your mind is left to wander. Most of the time, you simply space out or get caught up thinking about what happened on your favorite TV show the night before, but every once in a while, you dig a little deeper. Perhaps too deep. We've covered these type of thoughts on severaloccasions, but we figured a fresh batch would do you some good.

(h/t I Raff I Ruse)

shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts
shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts
shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts
shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts
shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts
shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts
shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts
shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts
shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts
shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts
shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts
shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts
shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts
shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts
shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts
shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts
shower thoughts, very awesome shower thoughts

 

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A Chipotle Customer Service Impostor Messed With People On Facebook And It Was Hilarious

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If you aren't a college sorority girl or part of a group of coworkers that enjoy taking tons of lunch breaks at Chipotle, you probably missed the news that there was an E. coli outbreak at the restaurant chain. Following this unfortunate news, the folks at Hope That Helps thought they would have a little fun with customers by pretending to be the Chipotle customer service on Facebook.

What made them pass as customer service? Just a minor change in spelling: they went with Chipolte instead of Chipotle. Check out some of the funnier exchanges with customers.

The Runs
Guy Pretends To Be Chipotle Customer Service To Mess With People On FacebookGuy Pretends To Be Chipotle Customer Service To Mess With People On Facebook


From the Heart
Guy Pretends To Be Chipotle Customer Service To Mess With People On Facebook


Meat-Free Salads
Guy Pretends To Be Chipotle Customer Service To Mess With People On Facebook


Gift Card Emergency
Guy Pretends To Be Chipotle Customer Service To Mess With People On Facebook

Sorry
Guy Pretends To Be Chipotle Customer Service To Mess With People On Facebook

h/t Someecards

Not the first time this happened: A Comedian Created A Fake 'Customer Service' Account Just To Mess With People

 

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All You Need To Know About Condoms

Lamar Odom, Charlie Sheen Among Google's Top Searches In 2015

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The good news for Charlie Sheen is that he was the most-searched actor on Google in 2015. The bad news is that it was because he is HIV positive.

According to The New York Times, Google released the top search terms of the year this morning and it looks as though Lamar Odom can add another title to his trophy case, as the former basketball star was the most-searched in terms of both people and overall searches.

Charlie Sheen announces he's HIV positive
Charlie Sheen's announcement that he was HIV positive helped land him at the top of the list in terms of the most-searched actors, while Bill Cosby bit-do-bee-bob-popped his way up to number two on that list.

Even my grandma heard Adele's #1 hit song "Hello" this year, and she's deaf. The hit single's success catapulted the pop star to the top of the list of most-searched music artists, and the song found itself at the top of the list of most-searched song lyrics.

"Better Call Saul" was the most-searched TV show, Ronda Rousey was the most-searched athlete, the New England Patriots were the most-searched football team, and we know that you've been waiting for this one: The Minnesota Lynx were the most-searched WNBA team.

The entire list of top search terms can be found here, but we just told you that the Lynx were the most-searched WNBA team, so you can probably move on.

California residents are apparently into fantasy bowling: This Map Shows Every State's Most Embarrassing Google Searches

 

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Epic Bathroom Fight Features Comeback Of The Century (Graphic Violence)

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We have no idea where this fight took place, but based on each fighter's choice of fashion, we'll guess that it's either Houston or Russia.

I used to think the Jim Valvano ESPYs speech was the most motivating thing I had ever seen in terms of reminding people to never give up, and it probably still is. But let's give this fight some time to make the rounds and see where it stands on the totem pole in a few years because I'm telling you, the fact that the kid in the black shirt had even just one punch left in the tank much less enough to win the fight after taking that pummeling is nothing short of astounding.

Heads up, this video is a tad graphic,



Wow. Is it just me, or are those not the cleanest urinals you have ever seen?

h/t Barstool Sports

This is white trash at it's finest: Two Women And A Kid Get In Giant Brawl Inside Indiana Walmart (NSFW Language)

 

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Saudi Man's Family Demands Divorce After Catching His Wife Kissing A Camel

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It's funny how adding one word like "toe" to the end of that title probably would have led to that dude asking her to marry him again.

According to the Daily Mail, a Saudi man's family is irate with his wife after they recently witnessed her kissing a camel.

Saudi man's family irate after seeing his wife kissing a camel
Of course it had to be the mother-in-law who witnessed the camel smooch, and her demands for a divorce have led to a "massive family dispute."

The man's wife says she only kissed the camel because she was extremely happy with the amount of income the animals were generating for the family. But the man's mother says the kiss was a breach of religious and social norms, and the only way to fix the problem is through divorce.

Both the man and woman say that they want to remain a couple, but the woman is choosing to live with her family for the time being because she's afraid her mother-in-law will attack her.

And to think, this was all over nothing more than a spontaneous smooch. I mean, just imagine what the mother-in-law would have done if the woman would've given it a handy or something.

They don't take cheating very well in China either: Chinese Woman Cuts Off Cheating Husband's Penis...Twice

 

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Today's Funny Photos

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Only eight more days until Christmas, but more importantly, only five more editions of "Today's Funny Photos" in 2016 (we are on break between Christmas and New Year's). So, you gotta cherish it. Cherish it!

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
What the hell is happening here?


funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
Same here.


funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
I love this man.


funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
Sbacon is my favorite sbreakfast food.

Follow on Twitter and Instagram for more good stuff all year round.

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
It's bittersweet.


funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
Christmas tree stars are overrated anyway.


funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz, Merry Cuntmas
Hmm, I want to, but I really don't think I should.


funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
Seems like a pretty boring spot.

Related: People Taking Signs Way Too Literally

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
Sup?


funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
Hockey parents need these helpful reminders every so often.


funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
We are all Michael Scott.


funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
My search history circa 1998. (Or possibly last week.)

More: Yesterday's Funny Photos

funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
"So anyway, uhh, then we just all got milkshakes and went home and straight to bed."


funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
All men of the world agree.


funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
I have no idea what is happening here, but I like it a lot.


funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
Gets me every time.


funny photos, funny pics, daily lolz
FUCK THAT.

More: Yesterday's Funny Photos

 

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Dad Will Surely Appreciate These Last Minute Holiday Gifts

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There's always a time and need for last minute holiday gift items for dad. Surely he'll appreciate whatever you get him, but just in case you're not his favorite kid, choose from this lovely list and move up a rung on the hate ladder this season. After all, you can't very well get him the usual Playboy subscription if there's not going to be any nudity in there anymore.

Snow Joe Cordless Snowblower ($379)
last minute dad gifts, gifts for dad, cordless snowblower
If we can have wireless phones, we sure as hell should have wireless snowblowers. No more unknotting and lassoing those long cords for dad. He can be the neighborhood blower with this lightweight, emission-free, 40-volt power tool. Then again, maybe "neighborhood blower" isn't the best term to go with.

Cards Against Humanity ($25)
last minute dad gifts, gifts for dad, cards against humanity
Don't want to hear your dad make pervy jokes with your even more pervy uncle? 'Tis the season to purchase him something else to direct his depraved mind at other than your mother. Cards Against Humanity is affordable, awkward fun for the whole family to help pass the frigid time until you make your escape to the airport.

Logitech Harmony All-in-One Remote ($119)
last minute dad gifts, gifts for dad, logitech harmony remote
Both you and your dad have dreamed about this day. No more splitting up the half dozen remotes between the two of you — mom can't handle that responsibility — when there's a single remote that can rule the roost. Whether by the Harmony remote or app on your smartphone, you can control your entertainment system, TV and gaming consoles all from one object like it's no biggie. Get used to being the favorite child.

Mr. Beer Home Brewery ($53)
last minute dad gifts, gifts for dad, mr beer home brewery
The most affordable way for dad to kickstart his own beer brand is Mr. Beer, the startup kit that includes a reusable two-gallon keg, a pack of reusable beer bottles, carbonation tabs and everything else you need to make your own beer. If your pops wanted an excuse to hide in the garage for a few hours and blow off some steam, now he's got one. And he can maintain a hefty man-made buzz while he's at it.

Leatherman Multi-Tool ($86.99)
last minute dad gifts, gifts for dad, leatherman multi tool
Quite frankly, this all-in-one pocket tool has just about anything you need to complete any task. Whether you're tightening some screws, popping a bottle or performing your first B & E on the neighbors, this is your new best friend. Who needs a toolbox with pocket-sized handheld gear like this?

Bar10der All-in-One Bartender ($44.99)
last minute dad gifts, gifts for dad, bar10der all in one bartender
On the other hand, this all-in-one kit has everything you need for tearing stuff apart later. With ten tools for the perfect holiday cocktail all in one, from a muddler to a zester to a corkscrew, there's nothing this little home bartender can't do. Now fix something with your pocket knife, make yourself a drink with your Bar10der Blue and break everything you just put together.

Dancin Dogg OptiShot Infrared Golf Simulator ($349.99)
last minute dad gifts, gifts for dad, dancin dogg optishot
If dad's retired and mom's just tired of seeing him putt around the house, maybe it's time you got him on his golfing game with an infrared golf simulator. With a library of worldly golf courses and a simulator that tacks speed and precision, he can explore an array of greens without ever leaving the house. Your mom might leave, though. They don't tell you that on the box.

Nest ($199)
last minute dad gifts, gifts for dad, nest thermostat
Of all our favorite technological innovations, this one warms our hearts the most. And our living rooms. Nest is the futuristic thermostat that replaces clunky, archaic ones. With a digital format, smartphone accessibility and "smart" temperature, it tracks your habits and adapts to your lifestyle. No more fighting over who's hot and who's cold, as you will be lord of the manor with this handy device. There's also a Nest Protect for smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detection.

TV
last minute dad gifts, gifts for dad, television
He's not expecting you to get him a TV. But maybe you could check out some of the awesome deals from our Black Friday Blowout, some of which will likely be back up for sale the day after Christmas. Currently there's an LG 98-inch 4K Ultra HD 3D Smart TV for only $40 grand. Maybe aim lower. There's also still sales going on for Apple iPads, Apple TV and more.

Garmin Fishfinder ($80.99)
last minute dad gifts, gifts for dad, garmin fishfinder
Your father always talks about how he loves to fish. You even got him that nice fishing rod a few years back that he hasn't touched. Maybe he realized the thing he forgot about fishing is how much it sucks. Well, Garmin's Fishfinder will change all that with its high tech beams and special fish trolling capabilities. Some are super affordable in simple gray while others can be high dollar trackers. You're decision rests on how much your dad sucks at fishing or how quickly he quits and goes for the beer.

Finally, as a bonus...James Bond Cologne ($24.99)
last minute dad gifts, gifts for dad, james bond 007 cologne
Because hey, anyone could be in the running for the next 007. It's the same cologne the real James Bond wears! No, no it isn't.

 

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8 Instances Where The Nipple Was Freed In 2015

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Free at last! If 2015 did nothing else for humanity, it pioneered blasting your nips loud and proud even further along. Well, not so much loud in a physical sense, but for a number of celebs, feminist groups and celeb feminists who had decided that enough was enough when it came to society not allowing them to display their naughty parts for the world to see, big, newsworthy changes were made. Who would have thought #FreetheNipple would actually work? We're certainly not complaining.

Chelsea Handler Leads the Charge on Social Media
free the nipple 2015, free the nipple roundup, chelsea handler free the nipple
Her crusade actually started back in 2014, but the new year didn't slow her down a bit.


Miley Cyrus Wasn't Far Behind
free the nipple 2015, free the nipple roundup, miley cyrus nude
We're not quite sure if she was actually doing this for the cause, though. Pretty sure she just likes getting naked.


Nipple Psych Out Bikini Tops
free the nipple 2015, free the nipple roundup, free the nipple bikini
Because the next best thing to naked boobs is practically naked boobs.


Chrissy Teigen Challenges Instagram's "No Nudity" Policy and Wins
free the nipple 2015, free the nipple roundup, chrissy teigen nude instagram
At the very least, we won for having the foresight to take a screenshot. Booya!


Naomi Campbell Continues the Revolution
free the nipple 2015, free the nipple roundup, naomi campbell free the nipple
And the celeb nipples continued to flow from there...we might want to rephrase that before we push this piece live.


Even Mandatory Got In On the Action
free the nipple 2015, free the nipple roundup, free the nipple male nipple
Again...maybe we oughta take another whack at that phrasing.


The Topless Protesters Open the Floodgates in New York
free the nipple 2015, free the nipple roundup, free the nipple new york 2015
And life in NYC got a lot less bleak.


Alexis Texas and Nikki Benz Miss the Boat
free the nipple 2015, free the nipple roundup, alexis texas nikki benz free the nipple
See the entry above, which these two porn stars apparently weren't invited to.

While we're on the subject of summing up the year, check these out: The Wildest Snapchat Stories Of 2015

 

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10 Intriguing Mysteries That Are Happening Right Now

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The following cases remain conundrums to this day. And the truth is, many of them will never be solved. From menacing humanoids disturbing small towns to inexplicable earthly phenomena, you can bet there's a team of jaded investigators assigned to each of them. And they'll probably retire before making good headway.

The Windsor Hum
intriguing mysteries happening right now, intriguing mysteries 2015, windsor hum
Across the river from Detroit, Windsor, Canada has been dealing with a mysterious hum that has flummoxed locals for years. It's been described as a "deep, rumbling pulse" that starts and stops randomly. Many locals have been driven mad by it, often disrupting sleep and even rattling buildings. While the case is still under investigation, a recent development points to an industrial island on the Detroit River called Zug Island as the likely culprit. The sound hasn't ceased, however, and Canadians are still pissed off.

Severed feet of Salish Sea
intriguing mysteries happening right now, intriguing mysteries 2015, salish sea severed feet
In August 2007, strange happenings gripped the morbid fascination of Canadians living in British Columbia when human feet began to wash up onto the beaches of the Salish Sea. As of 2014, a grand total of 10 feet had made it to the shores, belonging to five men, one woman and three others of unknown sex. While there are multiple theories bouncing around the talkative jowls of locals, an interesting one suggests that the feet belonged to those who died in the Asian Tsunami of 2004.

Town smells like cat piss, and no one knows why
intriguing mysteries happening right now, intriguing mysteries 2015, cat pee town pennsylvania
Residents of New Castle, Pennsylvania recently made noise in the news due to their town smelling uncannily of cat urine. Imagine for a second that your city suddenly fell under an stench that no one could locate. Now imagine that that stench is feline piss. Can you empathize now? The mystery is yet to be solved.

Sinister figure haunts the woods of Switzerland
intriguing mysteries happening right now, intriguing mysteries 2015, switzerland sinister figure
Kids in Maules, Switzerland are afraid to go into the woods. For the past 10 years, a strange man donning a gas mask, a boiler suit and a cloak wanders the same route, and acknowledges nobody. In September 2013, "it" was photographed for the first time (above). While not aggressive or outwardly menacing, the 6' 6" figure simply looks at you and walks away, which is probably more terrifying than anything it could utter. The locals have dubbed the figure Le Loyon.

Some say he or she is a survivalist, preparing for impending doom in his mask and cloak, while others believe the person (or humanoid) suffers from a debilitating skin condition. Either way, Le Loyon is one freaky bastard. The people of Maules continue to shiver in their K-Swiss shoes.

China's dwarf village
intriguing mysteries happening right now, intriguing mysteries 2015, china dwarf village
The probability of being born a dwarf is one in 20,000. In the remote village of Yangsi, China, however, the odds are two in five. Forty percent of the inhabitants are dwarves, with the tallest being 3' 10" and the shortest being 2' 1". While Western scientists are entirely mystified, one clue points to a strange disease in 1951 that afflicted the young, which stopped them from growing. The theoretical disease, which remains an enigma to this day, has apparently been passed down from generation to generation without cause.

Scores of whales beach themselves right before massive earthquakes
intriguing mysteries happening right now, intriguing mysteries 2015, earthquake beached whales
On February 21, 2011, 107 pilot whales beached themselves in New Zealand. A day later, an earthquake registering 6.3 on the Richter scale struck the country. In March of the same year, 50 melon-headed whales washed up on the beach in Japan six days before the catastrophic 9.0 quake that rocked the nation, killing 18,000. While it may just be a coincidence, in April 2015, 160 melon-headed whales beached themselves just two weeks before the devastating earthquake in Nepal. Draw your own conclusions from there.

The Long Island Serial Killer
intriguing mysteries happening right now, intriguing mysteries 2015, long island serial killer
Police in Long Island believe that one man is responsible for 10 to 17 murders spanning from 1996 to 2013. The cases are unsolved, but the killer has been dubbed the Craigslist Ripper. His modus operandi involves meeting female prostitutes (six of them were in "the biz"), killing them and dumping their remains along the Ocean Parkway. Behavioral profiling suggests the man is "likely a white male in his late 30s or 40s, likely married or has a girlfriend, is well educated, technological adept and well spoken."

Sinkholes of Siberia
intriguing mysteries happening right now, intriguing mysteries 2015, siberian sinkholes
In the small mining town of Solikamsk, Russia, a massive 400-foot-wide sinkhole began literally eating the town alive. This wasn't the first to strike Siberia, as over the past two years others have appeared without solid explanation. One Russian scientist believes there may be "20 or 30 more." The marquee explanation seems to be that global warming is playing a role by melting permafrost under the ground. But I'm going with aliens.

Elisa Lam
intriguing mysteries happening right now, intriguing mysteries 2015, elisa lam
The water at the Cecil Hotel in downtown L.A. began tasting funny. One tenant described it thusly: "The tap water tasted horrible. It had a very funny, sweet, disgusting taste." That's because someone was dead and decaying in the rooftop water tank. Yummy.

Elisa Lam, a 21-year-old Canadian traveling the West Coast, had been missing for days. They found video of her inside an elevator at the Cecil Hotel acting strange, peering in and out of the doors frantically as if someone were following her. No drugs were found in her system during the autopsy. Since Lam's murder in February 2013, investigators haven't come close to unraveling the mystery.

Malaysian Airlines Flight 370
intriguing mysteries happening right now, intriguing mysteries 2015, malaysian airlines flight 370
On March 8, 2014, a Boeing 777 took off from Kuala Lumpur headed to Beijing. Hours later, it disappeared from the radar. With 239 onboard, it quickly became one of the most talked about stories of the year, mesmerizing many. After more than a year and a half, questions have still been left unanswered.

Search costs ranging from $33 to $44 million have resulted in nothing but a wing flap found on a remote island in the Indian Ocean in July. More than 27,000 square miles have been covered, but since the Indian Ocean is more than 28 million square miles, odds of discovering clues at the wreckage are slim.

Last words from the cockpit: "Good night, Malaysian seven three zero."

 

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The Weekly Mandatory Meme Contest Winners: Feelin' Squirrely

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Yesterday we asked you to use our meme generator to create some hilarious memes to unleash on the Internet. There were a lot of entries, but we managed to narrow it down to these fine and deserving winners. Congratulations, you truly understand what the Internet is all about. And to those of you who lost ... oh well, there's always next week!

weekly meme contest, meme contest winners, feelin squirrely
Submitted by: T-Dog

weekly meme contest, meme contest winners, feelin squirrely
Submitted by: Bishop

weekly meme contest, meme contest winners, feelin squirrely
Submitted by: DANIEL

weekly meme contest, meme contest winners, feelin squirrely
Submitted by: LAURA

weekly meme contest, meme contest winners, feelin squirrely
Submitted by: Jill

weekly meme contest, meme contest winners, feelin squirrely
Submitted by: JTW

weekly meme contest, meme contest winners, feelin squirrely
Submitted by: baRt

weekly meme contest, meme contest winners, feelin squirrely
Submitted by: Dr. dude

 

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Guy Skypes His Parents While Skydiving

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As if attempting to teach your parents how to use Skype isn't scary enough, one guy skyped his own folks while jumping out of a plane.

While on a round-the-world trip, Roger Ryan found himself in Australia while his parents remained on the ground in Ireland. After telling them he wanted to Skype with them, Roger's parents thought he would be skyping them from a bus and not from a plane which is exactly what Roger did.

Take a look at his parents' reaction as he goes skydiving while on Skype:


The footage was taken by HostelWorld, a hostel booking website who heard about Roger's round-the-world trip.

Let's all now give it up for Roger's successful parachute because that would have been one seriously unpleasant Skype call if it didn't do its job.

Via Telegraph

Still not as scary as this: Guy Pranks Family By Putting 168 Rob Lowe Faces All Over House

 

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Kourtney Kardashian Shares A Completely Naked Pic On Instagram

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This should definitely be a late addition to the top Kardashian/Jenner social media pics of the year. But for now, let's make this the top photo of the day, by far.

Kourtney Kardashian, in the midst of rumors that she's shacking up with everyone's least favorite Canadian, Justin Bieber, went ahead and shared a nude picture of herself on her Instagram. Take a look at it below:

🌚

A photo posted by Kourtney Kardashian (@kourtneykardash) on


There wasn't much of a caption on the photo except for an emoji but something tells me no one even noticed that.

Also, shout out to her underboob. That also deserves recognition.

Kourtney's a fan of this look: Kourtney Kardashian Goes Nude For Vanity Fair

 

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The Funniest GIFs Of The Week: 'Star Wars' Edition

'Bad Lip Reading' Tackles 'Star Wars' In 3 New Videos You Nerds Will Love

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Since a lot of you may be camping outside the movie theater and waiting for the new "Star Wars" movie to be officially released for all to see at midnight, you may have missed the geniuses at "Bad Lip Reading" releasing a batch of new videos all focused on "Star Wars."

Even if you aren't a fan of "Star Wars" at all (I'm not so please refrain from coming to my front door with pitchforks), these videos are hilarious and feature the voices of Jack Black, Bill Hader and Maya Rudolph.






Politics made interesting: 'Bad Lip Reading' Takes On The First Democratic Debate And It's Hilarious

 

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More Celebrities Read Mean Tweets

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'Jimmy Kimmel Live!': Celebrities Read Mean Tweets #9

Jimmy Kimmel has given us the gift of yet another "Mean Tweets" video, this time featuring celebrities like Daniel Radcliffe, Sean Penn, Elizabeth Banks, Liv Tyler and more. So kick back and see a bunch of famous and rich people get poked fun at by non-famous poor people.

Not everyone likes country music: Country Music Stars Read 'Mean Tweets'

 

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Weather Woman Includes 12 'Star Wars' Puns In 40-Second Report

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Everyone is getting "Star Wars" fever, even attractive English weather gals.

Sian Welby, a weather woman on UK's Channel 5, added 12 "Star Wars" puns while doing her 40-second weather report, and she did it all while keeping a straight face. Typical "Star Wars" fans may catch all those puns but I will admit that I didn't get all of them. Sorry, nerds.


This dame is one that any "Star Wars" fan may want to reel in and marry.

h/t Someecards

Don't hate us too much: The 10 Dumbest Things About 'Star Wars'

 

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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

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Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets, compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.

Follow @robfee on Twitter.


Want more? Check out last week's hilarious tweets.

 

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Here's What Each State Googled More Than Any Other State In 2015

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It's always fun to look at these maps and see just how much time we all have on our hands, and Estately is back again to show us a map of what each state googled the most this year.

From Maine googling Amy Schumer the most to Wisconsin asking what "bae" means, every state had their share of odd Google searches. Take a look at what your state searched more than any other state in the map below:

Here's What Each State Googled The Most In 2015

I like that Iowa just doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks because they are too busy with "The Bachelorette."

You can check out even more terms that each state Googled more than any other state here.

We are a weird bunch: This Map Shows Every State's Most Embarrassing Google Searches

 

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Heartbroken Kid Writes An Angry Letter To Santa Claus, Emojis And All

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