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Australian Makeup Artist's Work Is So Realistic It Will Give You Nightmares

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If you have a weak stomach you may want to turn back now, but since we're all morbid and curious you won't turn back. So enjoy.


Marc Clancy, a self-taught makeup artist from Melbourne, enjoys freaking people out by creating extremely realistic injuries using his makeup talents, and sharing them on his Instagram for all to see. Check out some more of his best work below:











h/t Someecards

These are actually real: 14 Of The Grossest Sports Injuries Of All Time

 

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This Dating Classified Ad Is A Lot More Filthy Than It Appears

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A lot of people are looking for love, and there are quite a few different routes to take. You have the ol' "meet people in person" that your parents enjoyed doing, then there's the Tinder route that you enjoy doing, and then there is the classic "take out an ad in classifieds so you can find your true love" route.

And the classified ad below is one you'll have to read twice to really understand what this gentleman is looking for.


Girls do like a guy with a sense of humor.

Via Reddit

Maybe a little too honest: This Is By Far The Most Disturbing Dating Service Ad Ever

 

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The Funniest GIFs Of The Week

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It wouldn't be the funniest GIFs of the week without a needlessly complicated intro followed by a bunch of random jokes, callbacks and obscure references no one will understand. This batch, as expected, fires on all cylinders. So lean back, relax, and try to make sense of the absurdity ahead.

funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, topless woman throws ball beach
Must. Play. More. Beach. Sports.


funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, stomach with eyes scare
A little eye candy for the ladies, as well.


funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, sleeping cat folded over
I know cats are posable, but damn. I guess they really can sleep anywhere.


funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, man breaks tree
This awkward stance always ends well.


funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, jumping in heavy wind
Even though our top scientists are working on it, human flight is still years out.


funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, pig jumps dog
"When pigs fly" appears to be making some strides, though.


funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, two plus one ok
That's a stumper for sure, but he made out OK.


funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, dress unravel japanese game show
I've never met a Japanese game show I didn't like.


funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, kids removes shirt slaps
The same goes for "wasted" GIFs.


funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, cat attacks hand flipping bird
I guess someone forgot how much cats hate birds.


funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, pull up bar fail
His tailbone is gonna be so jacked.


funny gifs, funniest gifs of the week, tinder costume
I'm totally swiping that idea next Halloween.

We should do this again sometime. You free next week? Don't worry, I'll leave last week's hilarious GIFs behind just in case. Co-stanza...

 

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Cold As All Hell Girl At Tough Mudder Gets The Photoshop Treatment

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There are people out there that enjoy pushing their limits by participating in Tough Mudder. I am not one of them. But the woman below was one of them, and she was captured at the exact moment when she probably realized she made a terrible decision to run one of these courses.

Take a look at the photo below:

Cold As All Hell Girl At Tough Mudder Gets The Photoshop Treatment
And not only was she captured at her coldest moment, but the Internet ran with it, and created these gems. Take a look at the best below thanks to Reddit:

Cold As All Hell Girl At Tough Mudder Gets The Photoshop Treatment

Cold As All Hell Girl At Tough Mudder Gets The Photoshop Treatment
Cold As All Hell Girl At Tough Mudder Gets The Photoshop Treatment

Cold As All Hell Girl At Tough Mudder Gets The Photoshop Treatment

Cold As All Hell Girl At Tough Mudder Gets The Photoshop Treatment

Cold As All Hell Girl At Tough Mudder Gets The Photoshop Treatment

Cold As All Hell Girl At Tough Mudder Gets The Photoshop Treatment

Cold As All Hell Girl At Tough Mudder Gets The Photoshop Treatment

Cold As All Hell Girl At Tough Mudder Gets The Photoshop Treatment

Cold As All Hell Girl At Tough Mudder Gets The Photoshop Treatment
More hot girls getting photoshopped: Photoshop Battle Claims Two More Sexy Victims In Latest Throwdown

 

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Emily Ratajkowski Dancing In A Bra Will Make Your Day Better

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Model Emily Ratajkowskiis everywhere these days, and we don't have a problem with that. Whether she's going nude on Instagram or sharing her political stance, Emily enjoys allowing people to know more about her. And this time around she showed us that she's a pretty damn good dancer.

Take a look at Emily get down in a white bra thanks to a video she posted on her Instagram:

A video posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on


And here's a better look at her outfit that night:

⚪️All white night⚪️

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on


Again, we have no problem with this: Emily Ratajkowski Poses Fully Nude On Instagram

 

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Woman At Canadian Gym Told To Change Because Of Her 'Large Boobs'

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And this is why people should stay away from the gym altogether.

Jenna Vecchio wore a tank top and yoga pants when she paid a visit to the Movati Athletic Club in Ontario. And everything was going well until Vecchio says she was told to change by staff because she was not appropriately dressed. Let's first take a look at her attire thanks to her Facebook.

Woman At Canadian Gym Told To Change Because Of Her 'Large Boobs'
I am appalled by her attire!

Woman At Canadian Gym Told To Change Because Of Her 'Large Boobs'
Are you kidding? Totally inappropriate!

Woman At Canadian Gym Told To Change Because Of Her 'Large Boobs'
What is this?! A porno?!

"I was instructed by a Supervisor at the club that my tank top was inappropriate dress and is offensive to both the staff and other members," Vecchio wrote on her Facebook. "At Movati, they have a dress code stating only appropriate gym attire and modest clothing is to be worn."

"I will start by saying my tank top was no different than many other women's tank top at the club; except my chest size is much larger in appearance in comparison to my frame than many of the other women," Vecchio added.

I would like to know what the idiots at Movati want women with big boobs to wear.

One idiot, area director Sean Whittal, responded with this: "As such, on Saturday when some members of our gym voiced complaints regarding Ms. Vecchio's attire as it made them feel uncomfortable and was seen as being contrary to our dress code policy our staff assessed the situation and spoke to Ms. Vecchio."

"While in no way did we intend to embarrass her, we did feel we had to address the issue," Whittal added.

Movati is apparently still looking into the matter.

Translation: "We are tools that can wear our T-shirts three sizes too small, but this woman's tank top is an issue."

Via The LAD Bible

Yeah, let's stay away: 21 Hilarious Tweets On Why You Should Probably Skip Working Out Today

 

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21 Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

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It's prom season, and a bunch of awkward guys and gals are getting dressed up in hopes of trying to look their best while emulating all the dance moves they've seen in the past few months, only to cringe when they think about it a few days later. But hey, they won't be alone because even the most famous celebrities had an awkward experience at prom.

Check out these awkward celebrity photos below.

Jennifer Aniston
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Jimmy Fallon
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Jessica Alba
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

John Stamos
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Danielle Fishel and Lance Bass
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Angelina Jolie
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Taylor Swift
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Britney Spears
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Jon Hamm
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Matthew McConaughey
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Blake Lively
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Tupac Shakur
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

John Krasinki
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Lizzy Caplan
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Brad Pitt
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Ellen DeGeneres
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Will Ferrell
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Lucy Hale
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Sylvester Stallone
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Taylor Lautner
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Barack Obama
Awkward Celebrity Prom Photos

Via theCHIVE

The hell? 16 Strange Prom Photos

 

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Florida Cop Obliterates Woman's Car After Blowing Through Red Light At 90 MPH

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Running a red light at 90 miles per hour. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

Well, this.

According to Jalopnik, Officer Chris Bonner of the Ocoee Police Department was hauling ass down Orange Blossom Trail in pursuit of two armed robbery suspects last Thursday, but that pursuit came to a horrific end when his Dodge Charger police car slammed into Yahaira Montalvo's Toyota Corolla at 90 miles per hour.


Thankfully, both Montalvo and Bonner survived the wreck, although the same can't be said for the squad car:

wicked awesome police crash in Ocoee
Troopers with the Florida Highway Patrol determined Bonner was at fault (duh, you think?) and cited him with a $164 moving violation that will also cost him four points on his license. But odds are Bonner's failure to stop at the red light is going to cost the department much more than that, as Montalvo has hired legal counsel and is already way ahead in the sympathy game.


That legal team sure looks like they know what they're doing, and you have to think Montalvo's days of driving a Corolla are over. The other big winners from last Thursday's crash? You guessed it: the robbery suspects who wound up getting away.

Somehow, every person involved in these wrecks still has a pulse: The Craziest Accidents Where Nobody Died

 

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New Study Says You Will Only Spend 0.45 Percent Of Your Life Having Sex

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Well, they must not have surveyed Ron Jeremy.

According to The Sun, a new study conducted by Reebok for some reason says the average person will spend just 0.45 percent of his or her life having sex.

That's only 117 days of your life, fellas.

People only spend 0.45 percent of their lives having sex
More than 9,000 people from the United Kingdom, United States, Germany, France, Spain, Mexico, Canada, Russia and South Korea were recently surveyed, and based on the end result, it looks as though we all need to get our priorities in order.

In comparison, the average person will spend nearly 30 percent of his or her life -- or 7,709 days -- sitting down, while 1,769 days will be spent socializing with friends and family. Men and women will also spend just 0.69 percent of their lives exercising while 41 percent of most people's lives will be spent engaging with technology.

Forty-one percent of your life engaging with technology? Damn, that's almost as depressing as spending just 117 days of your life having sex. Although, you have to think that number would at least quadruple if you're allowed to count "yourself" as a sexual partner.

The road less traveled can also lead to pregnancy:You Apparently Can Get A Woman Pregnant Through Anal Sex After All

 

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Adam Sandler Found His Doppelganger And It Turned Into A Wonderful Bromance

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Hey, whatever it takes to influence people to go see something starring Adam Sandler these days, right?

Sandler has a new movie coming out soon on Netflix called "The Do-Over," which also features David Spade in one of the lead roles. So hey, it needs all the help it can get. That's where a guy named Max Kessler walks in.

The 23-year-old Kessler not only shares the same name as Sandler's character in the movie, but he looks just like Adam Sandler himself. Take a look at the photo that Kessler posted:

Adam Sandler Found His Doppleganger On The Internet In What Is Totally 'Not' A Marketing Ploy
Kessler does look like a younger Sandler; like when Sandler could still squeeze a few non-pity laughs out of his audience. Well, Sandler came across this, and posted this picture in response:

Adam Sandler Found His Doppleganger On The Internet In What Is Totally 'Not' A Marketing Ploy
Kessler of course had to respond to Sandler's antics:

Adam Sandler Found His Doppleganger On The Internet In What Is Totally 'Not' A Marketing Ploy
And all of that resulted in Kessler being flown to meet Sandler and see the premiere of "The Do-Over." This is supposed to be a reward. I think.

Adam Sandler Found His Doppleganger On The Internet In What Is Totally 'Not' A Marketing Ploy
And hey, Kessler made it. Here he is being welcomed by a homeless man.

Adam Sandler Found His Doppleganger On The Internet In What Is Totally 'Not' A Marketing Ploy
We think this is a happy ending. Check out the video below for more on Kessler and his "lucky" face:


h/t Funny Or Die

Lookalikes are everywhere: 13 Celebrity Lookalikes Of Different Races

 

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Bella Hadid Wore The Hottest Dress Ever At 69th Cannes Film Festival

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I know we use a lot of hyperbole in this day and age, but I honestly can't recall ever seeing a dress that is hotter than this. I'm sure there have been others, but to be honest...what were we talking about?

Bella Hadid attended the premiere of "The Unkown Girl (La Fille Inconnue)" during the 69th annual Cannes Film Festival yesterday, and she showed up in this. There has never been a sexier lady in red.

"The Unkown Girl (La Fille Inconnue)" - Red Carpet Arrivals - The 69th Annual Cannes Film Festival

"The Unknown Girl (La Fille Inconnue)" - Red Carpet Arrivals - The 69th Annual Cannes Film Festival

"The Unkown Girl (La Fille Inconnue)" - Red Carpet Arrivals - The 69th Annual Cannes Film Festival

69th Cannes Film Festival - 'La Fille Inconnue (The Unknown Girl) screening
Photos via Getty

Related: Bella Hadid's Cleavage Should Win A Grammy

 

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Louisiana Lawmaker Tries Passing Bill That Says Strippers Must Be Under 160 Pounds

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How good are things in this guy's district if this is the number one issue on his plate?

According to The Washington Post, a Louisiana state representative who recently proposed both an age and weight limit for strippers in his state said he was just joking, but some of his coworkers weren't laughing about it as much as we did.

Louisiana lawmakers tries adding weight and age requirement to strippers
While discussing a bill that would require tit bar dancers in Louisiana to be at least 21 years old, Rep. Kenny Harvard made an amendment that would also ban women from hopping on the pole if they're over the age of 28 or tipping the scales at more than 160 pounds.

Many of Harvard's colleagues on the House floor ate it up and laughed at his proposal, but Rep. Nancy Landry didn't care for it and asked Harvard if he thought that meant such women were "unfit to be dancers."

"No ma'am," Harvard replied. "I'm just worried about their health, and I wouldn't want them to hurt one another."

Rep. Julie Stokes said she had "never been more repulsed" than she was talking over the bill, and other lawmakers left gifts on their way out of the session to show how "serious" they were about the discussion.

Those gifts? You guessed it: Dollar bills.


On second thought, I will study for that test: Principal Offers Strip Club Trip To Students Who Get Good Grades

 

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Actor Tom Lenk Has Been Recreating Ridiculous Red Carpet Looks On His Instagram Page

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Most fans of writer/director Joss Whedon will recognize Tom Lenk for either his role as Andrew Wells from the long-running series "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or Ronald the Intern in the 2012 cult hit "Cabin in the Woods." But since he started posting the following absurdly detailed recreations of famous red carpet looks to his Instagram account two weeks ago, it's become one of his most notable claims to fame. And we don't use the term "absurd" lightly.



GET THE LEWK FOR LESS AT HAUS OF LENK. @metmuseum #metgala2016 #davidlaport #FASHUNS #lenklewkforless

A photo posted by Tom Lenk (@tommylenk) on



A photo posted by Tom Lenk (@tommylenk) on



A photo posted by Tom Lenk (@tommylenk) on



A photo posted by Tom Lenk (@tommylenk) on



A video posted by Tom Lenk (@tommylenk) on



A photo posted by Tom Lenk (@tommylenk) on


And just in case you were wondering, yes, he's expanded his venture to movie parodies, as well.

A photo posted by Tom Lenk (@tommylenk) on



A photo posted by Tom Lenk (@tommylenk) on



A video posted by Tom Lenk (@tommylenk) on


How is this guy not more famous? I mean, he's a master of so many looks.

(h/t The A.V. Club)

Related: Cosplayer Best Known For Playing Elsa From 'Frozen' Is Super Hot

 

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Tinder Profile Answers An Age-Old Question, But It Is Anything But Satisfying (At Least For Her)

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There's nothing quite like using Tinder to properly burn potential suitors after less than fulfilling romps in the bedroom. Carmen clearly gets it. After a night out at a costume party resulted in a one-night stand of...the opposite of epic proportions, she just couldn't resist making perhaps the most brutal blow to a man's pride a woman can possibly deliver.

tinder carmen chicken egg, tinder life long question
Totally worth a few left swipes.

(via Imgur)

Related: These Are The Most Honest Girls on Tinder and We Love Them For It

 

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Today's Funny Photos


These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down

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There's hot sauce, and then there's hot sauce. These are the latter, the kind of anti-condiment hot sauce that will burn your life down, starting with your mouth. You thought you needed foods that make you poop to make things happen. Just try these hottest hot sauces alive, measured in Scoville units and number of fatalities. Sauces like Satan's Rage and Pure Death make you wonder why you'd ever put these hot sauces in your delicate body.

Blair's 16 Million Reserve (16 million Scoville units)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
Along with Blair's 6 A.M. and their 2009 Halloween Reserve, this not-so-tasty treat clocks in at 16 million Scoville. That's 3,200 times hotter than your average jalapeño. Blair's has an additional seven or more hot sauces running between 13 and 14.5 million Scoville.

Texas Creek Pure Evil (9.6 million Scoville units)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
With no flavor and just pure heat, this 9.6 million Scoville sauce is a continuation of the madness that is adding flavorless hot sauce to food that probably could kill most small animals.

Mad Dog 357 Plutonium (9 million Scoville)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
Just as it only takes a small amount of plutonium to make a lot of damage, such is the case with Mad Dog's 357 Plutonium. With one of the purest, hottest pepper extracts, this hottest hot sauce is a heat check that will test your limits.

The Source (7.1 million Scoville)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
Once a legend and now a lethal weapon, The Source is a renowned hot sauce, a direct connection between you and the bowels of hell. For heaven's sake, don't let anyone dare you to chug it.

Crazy Uncle Jester's The Jester (6 million Scoville)

A limited-edition extract started up in 2010, The Jester is the hard-hitting hot sauce that will give you that scary, creeping feeling most crazy uncles give you. Our highest grade for its appropriate nomenclature.

Bumblefoot's Bumblefucked (6 million Scoville)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
Originally made for the Guns N' Roses guitarist, one of the all-time best bands in America, and 1200 times the hotness of a jalapeño, Bumblefucked is a stinger of a sauce with bits of ginger, caffeine and ginseng. What a weird combination!

Cajohns Get Bitten Black Mamba 6 (6 million Scoville)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
Hotter than Kobe's jump shot, Black Mamba is a tongue-tied twister of chocolate habanero, vinegar and 6-million extract. Again, a weird trio of ingredients. This and Cajohns Bumblefucked are their two hottest sauces, both ranking in at 6 million Scoville.

Pepper Palace The Hottest Sauce in the Universe (3.5 Scoville)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
Well, as you can see, it's not the hottest hot sauce in the universe, but it's damn close. At 3.5 million Scoville, it's still got the hotness of 700 jalapeños, if that gives you any idea (or nightmare).

Smokin' Ed's Carolina Reaper Pepper (2.2 million Scoville)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
Listed in 2014's Guinness Book as the World's Hottest Chile, cultivated by Ed Currie of South Carolina, Ed's smokin' hot sauce is now in the ranks of the great gastrointestinal murderers.

Spontaneous Combustion (Scoville Units Unknown)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
With pure capsicum extract heat and habanero flavor, this one deserves recognition for both its name and ability to ruin all that you hold dear. Try it out in public with the one you love? We think not, young pyromaniac.

 

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Dogs Really Are Man's Best Friend, But Especially This One

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If you're looking for someone to always be there for you, and someone who won't be a complete a-hole, your best bet is probably a dog. People are unreliable, and cats are the worst. So head on out and get yourself a dog, and hopefully you'll get a dog like the one Greg Baskwell owns.

Take a look at Baskwell's dog doing everything he can to help his pal out:

When You Need a Helping Hand #chores #workworkwork 🐶🍴🚘🔨 (music: bensound.com)

A video posted by Greg Baskwell (@gregbaskwell) on


Man, I really need to get myself one of these butler dogs.

These dogs need a little help: 17 Dogs That Suck At Being Dogs

 

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This Week's 20 Funniest Tweets

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Another week, another batch of the most hilarious tweets, compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.

Follow @robfee on Twitter.


Want more? Check out last week's hilarious tweets.

 

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Scott Disick Doesn't Really Seem To Know How Instagram Marketing Works

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Open up Instagram right now. Now scroll. Chances are you've scrolled by at least one person who is promoting some sort of product, and they are usually seductively posing near said product. Usually goes like this: "Let me just place this herbal tea near my ass so I can promote it." At least it's like that when I do it. But someone needs to tell Scott Disick how Instagram marketing works, because he has no idea.

Skinny Tea reached out to Disick in hopes that he would promote their stuff. But it looks like Disick literally took the email he received from them word for word and copied it right onto his caption. Take a look at what Disick shared on his Instagram thanks to Frankie Greek on Twitter:


You had one job, Disick. And you couldn't even do that right.

Well, at least we'll always have this: Thirsty Dude Instagram Comment Generator

 

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This Guy Refused To Let A Restaurant Brawl Stop Him From Stuffing His Face With Pizza

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Back in April, Morgantown, West Virginia, was the setting of a pizza parlor brawl for the ages. As Twitter user Autumn Collins pointed out in her tweet below, there were roughly 20 people involved in the scuffle. And yet, we have this guy.


I'd say, "That has to be some quality pizza," but the dude is also sitting on the floor as he is eating it, so perhaps his standards of excellence aren't exactly up to snuff.

(h/t Someecards)

He should give this place a try: Can You Count How Many Rats Escape Into The Ceiling At This Restaurant When The Lights Get Turned On?

 

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