Guess What Happened When This Golfer Tried To Hit A Golf Ball On The Edge Of The Water

May 31, 2016, 12:23 pm

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Teemu Selanne was one hell of a hockey player during his NHL days, and it seems as though he's continuing to live the dream now that his playing days are over.

Selanne and a few of his pals hit the links over the holiday weekend, and one of them came extremely close to hitting his ball into the water. Since it was on the wrong side of a red lateral water hazard line, the dude had the choice of taking a one-stroke penalty and moving his ball to a spot where he wouldn't be teetering over the water.

But let's be honest: Where's the fun in that?

Selanne's buddy elected to play the ball right where it was, and Selanne -- knowing his friend much better than any of us -- decided it would be worthwhile to record his effort. The result was more than 114,000 views on Instagram, so you can probably guess what happened next:

You rather wanna be one day as Lion than 100years as a lamb👍👏💪😜

A video posted by Teemu Selanne (@sel8nneteemu) on May 30, 2016 at 7:10pm PDT

h/t Sports Illustrated

Here's a pretty good reason to play golf on your Nintendo Wii instead: Video: Gigantic Alligator Strolls Across A Florida Golf Course

 

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Texas Guy Pays Speeding Ticket With 21,200 Pennies

May 31, 2016, 12:56 pm

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No one likes getting a traffic ticket, especially when you think you didn't deserve one at all. And while the majority of us will just pay it and avoid any more headaches, one man thought he would make a point by paying it...in pennies.


Brett Sanders was pulled over in October and fined $212 for driving nine miles per hour over the speed limit in Frisco. "I didn't hurt anybody," Sanders tells BuzzFeed News. "I didn't endanger anybody. My speed was safe for the conditions around me. I didn't feel like I owed anybody anything." And even with all that explanation, Sanders still lost in a jury trial.

So Sanders of course did the next logical thing and paid his ticket in pennies. Check out the video of him gathering the pennies and personally delivering them below:


The speeding fine was $79.90, but the court fees brought it up to a total $212. And Sanders didn't break any laws, as courts accept legal tender.

As for the reaction Sanders is getting? The majority of people have pretty much bashed him for throwing a tantrum and taking it out on an old lady who had nothing to do with his ticket.

Nice job, dude.

It's more common than you think: College Student Pays For Parking Ticket Using 11,000 Pennies

 

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This Old Aerobics Video Really Nails The Pelvic Thrust

May 31, 2016, 2:34 pm

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In a world of online Yogalates, interactive calorie burning and app-informed fitness hysteria, maybe it's time we look back to some raw sex appeal for inspiration, via old aerobics VHS tapes. Whether you're into hot girls in yoga pantsor bikini bridges of Instagram, we think you'll find this old-fashioned fitness guru in Lycra to be just the thing to get you in shape, as well as aroused, beginning with the perfected art of the pelvic thrust (along with their free-verse fitness rap).

A video posted by SCOTT CHAMPION (@scott_champion) on May 24, 2016 at 10:03pm PDT

Related: What's in your ridiculous VHS collection?

 

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This Guy's Elaborate Tinder Profile Will Make You Either Love Him Or Hate Him

June 1, 2016, 3:50 am

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They say you should never judge a book by its cover. In the case of Garrett and the PowerPoint presentation's worth of information on his Tinder profile page(s), you can safely come to the conclusion that the dude tries way too hard. Then again, maybe some will find that charming.












All things considered, I'm still firmly planted in "he's a douche" territory myself, but to each their own.

(via Imgur)

Related: This Guy's Tinder Profile Really Lets The Ladies Know What To Expect

 

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Today's Funny Photos

June 1, 2016, 4:17 am

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It's easy to get distracted in this world we live in. Hell, sometimes I walk into a room to do one thing, but then think of something else that I need to use my phone for and then eventually forget what it was that I originally intended to do. That's why it's really important to keep your head up and focus on what matters, or you may miss out on something truly special. Like these funny photos!








Check us out on Twitter and Instagram, too.


















Can't get enough funnies? Here are yesterday's Funny Photos.










More: Funny Photos

 

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20 Famous Logos That Have Changed Over Time

June 1, 2016, 4:33 am

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Things change over time, and when it comes to brand logos, change more often than not is good. When today's most famous brands first kicked off they were fresh and new. But as with every product, sometimes a little updating is welcome. Check out some of the most famous brands below and see how they've changed over the years.








































Via Izismile

These companies should have thought things out more: The 17 Worst Company Logos Ever Conceived

 

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This Sums Up Dogs Perfectly

June 1, 2016, 5:05 am

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As someone who lives with a dog, I've always taken comfort in knowing that if an intruder does try to break into my place, I'll at least get a slight heads up in the form of loud, incessant barking. But lately, something has come to my attention that's left me questioning everything.








Let that be a lesson to you: Never break and enter on an empty stomach.

(via Reddit)

Related: The 12 Worst Things No One Tells You About Having A Dog

 

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And Now, Some Of Donald Trump's Most Ridiculous Tweets Without Context

June 1, 2016, 5:50 am

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We all know that Donald Trump, the inexplicably likely Republican presidential nominee, enjoys speaking his mind. In fact, that's the thing that Trump supporters seem to like the most about him. Well, one place where he has always spoken his mind (or in this case, typed it in 140 characters or less) is on Twitter. Trump does almost all of his own tweeting, and over the past few years he has really fired off some doozies. Here are just a few of the most absurd, provided below with absolutely no context (because who needs it?).

My twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 17, 2012

"A penny saved is a penny earned." -- Benjamin Franklin

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 19, 2012

Happy #CincoDeMayo! The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics! https://t.co/ufoTeQd8yApic.twitter.com/k01Mc6CuDI

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 5, 2016

@elizabethforma Goofy Elizabeth Warren, sometimes referred to as Pocahontas because she faked the fact she is native American, is a lowlife!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 25, 2016

I like Michael Douglas!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 18, 2016

Gas prices are at crazy levels--fire Obama!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 22, 2012

Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest -and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure,it's not your fault

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 9, 2013

Thank you @BillyJoel- many friends just told me you gave a very kind shoutout at MSG. Appreciate it- love your music!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 28, 2016

How amazing, the State Health Director who verified copies of Obama's "birth certificate" died in plane crash today. All others lived

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 12, 2013

.@ariannahuff is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man- he made a good decision.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 28, 2012

Amazing how the haters & losers keep tweeting the name "F**kface Von Clownstick" like they are so original & like no one else is doing it...

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 3, 2013

I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 14, 2012

People are going crazy with my comments on Diet Coke (soda). Let's face it--this stuff just doesn't work. It makes you hungry.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 22, 2012

It sure does.

Celebrating 1237! #Trump2016

A photo posted by Donald J. Trump (@realdonaldtrump) on May 26, 2016 at 2:29pm PDT

 

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13 Things That Are Actually Impossible To Do

June 1, 2016, 7:50 am

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There are things you can do that others can't, and vice versa. But then there are things that no one, not even the greatest scholars on earth, can do. So regardless of who you are, or how intelligent you are, the things below are things that are impossible to do.


























And here are some reasons to let those tears come out: 20 Appropriate Reasons For You To Cry

 

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Texas Teacher Gets Pregnant By 13-Year-Old Student After Having 'Sex Everyday'

June 1, 2016, 8:26 am

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Quite the education.

Alexandria Vera, a 24-year-old English teacher at Stovall Middle School in Houston, has allegedly admitted to having a sexual relationship with one of her 13-year-old students; a relationship that had been going on almost 10 months.

All photos via Facebook

The relationship kicked off after Vera gave the boy her phone number on Instagram. Things moved quick enough that the pair was having sex everyday. And if that's not crazy enough, they didn't hide their affair, and even had the student's family blessing. Yep.

Vera would visit the student at his house after his parents had gone away, and they would have sex.


Vera was immediately removed from the school and placed on administrative leave, according to a spokesman for the school.

Vera is facing child sex abuse charges, but they can't serve the arrest warrant because they don't know where the hell she is. Get your shit together, Houston.

h/t Mirror

I guess someone was keeping count: UK Teacher Had Sex With 15-Year-Old More Than 50 Times, Claimed She Was Pregnant

 

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It Doesn't Get Better Than This Stone Cold Steve Austin Wedding Entrance

June 1, 2016, 9:36 am

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Sure, maybe this bridesmaid wanted to get introduced at this wedding to "Let's Get This Party Started" by Pink. But that didn't happen. What happened instead was, she joined this dude and his friend as they entered this wedding a la Stone Cold Steve Austin and his famous beer entrance.

Check out the Instagram video the guys at Bro Bible came across, and allow yourself to feel nostalgic 'bout the attitude era.

How to enter a wedding like @steveaustimbsr

A video posted by BroBible.com (@brobible) on May 31, 2016 at 4:20pm PDT

Here's hoping this can be the entrance to the divorce party.


Also a memorable entrance: Groomsman's Epic Entrance Fail Damn Near Knocked Out Bridesmaid

 

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The 9 Types Of Photos Everyone Eventually Regrets Taking

June 1, 2016, 9:50 am

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With access to a camera at the tip of your fingers, of course you're going to take photographs you'll one day regret. Many of us already have, too, with no chance of taking them back. But for those of you who have somehow managed to avoid any of the clichéd, embarrassing or straight up offensive snaps displayed in the following write-up, don't make the same mistakes these people (who are mostly me or my friends and family) did.

Wishing Well

I don't know why, but I've always hated this cheesy photo setup. Really, you want it to look like you and your buddies are staring longingly into a wishing well? Why not just take a picture of yourself riding on a unicorn wearing a feather boa while you're at it? Even rock stars aren't immune to its lameness. But at least they can fire their PR guy to feel a little better about themselves. (Note: I've maintained for years that I was tricked into taking this shot, but as I said in the intro, I'm stuck with it for eternity regardless.)


Wads of Cash

What was the point of this? To show you that I'd still be buried in this very same money years later? That's right, those were student loans. I'm not even close to paying them back. Thanks for the trip down memory lane, shortsighted past self asshole!


Women's Makeup and/or Clothing

Sure, it was Halloween, but I always keep this photo in my back pocket just in case my older brother ever pisses me off.


Keg Stands/Any Other Means of Pounding Alcohol

This one seems pretty obvious now. I wish I could say the photo was difficult to track down.


Passed Out Drunk

The keg stand's ugly cousin. Really ugly, in fact. Boy, do I regret not intentionally posing for this one.


Hollywood Star-Struck

No, not the kind of Hollywood star that's a person, either. The only way to justify these photos without looking like some nerdy tourist is to make a mockery of them. For instance, I once found the world famous Grace Jones star on the ol' Walk of Fame and simply had to snap some pics. My friends and I were pretty stoked that it's held up so well over the years, especially having been written in Sharpie and all.


Jowling, Planking or Any Other "Flavor of the Month"

Just let them run their course and observe. Don't partake.


Bare Ass...or Worse

Then again, I've kind of made a career out of it. Plus, since this photo was technically a sneak attack on my little sister, it gets a pass. But under any other circumstances, keep it in your pants.


The Finger

Strangely enough, this is the one picture on the list I've somehow remained innocent of all these years. But my friend Joe does it in virtually every picture he takes. Talk about living life with no regrets!

Related: The 9 Types Of Photos You Take Of Celebrities

 

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Australian Woman Goes Viral After Getting Most Hipster Coffee Ever

June 1, 2016, 11:10 am

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It seems hipsters continue to dig their very underground and not-mainstream-at-all claws into every aspect of our lives, because now they've dared to dabble in our coffee.


When Australian writer Jamila Rizvi ordered a coffee, she expected a typical, boring cup of joe. But what she got instead was something completely unexpected. Take a look at what Jamila received thanks to a picture on her Facebook.


"Sorry Melbourne but no. No no no no no," Jamila's caption reads. "Hipsterism has gone too far when your coffee comes deconstructed...I wanted a coffee. Not a science experiment. I prefer to drink my beverages out of crockery and not beakers. Next stage? I'll just get a chopping board with a bunch of actual coffee beans and an upside down hat on it...This must stop."

It's getting a tad out of hand, folks.

We prefer our coffee with insults: Woman Tells Starbucks Barista Her Name Is Beyonce, Gets Hilarious Response

 

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Someone Hacked Mia Khalifa Onto A Motivational Ad For UNSW Australia

June 1, 2016, 11:55 am

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What do the University of New South Wales and adult film actress Mia Khalifa have in common? Well, for one, they are both featured in this ad posted on the school's website, which helpful Reddit user jina003 points out must have been hacked. Check it out for yourself and be the judge.


Hack job or brilliant marketing on the school's part, that's just good business.

Related: Mia Khalifa Used The Crying Jordan Face In The Hottest Way Possible

 

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Dude Plays With Fire, Accidentally Sets Dick On Fire

June 1, 2016, 11:59 am

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I believe it was during one of my Uncle Butch's famous rants in '87 when I first heard the phrase, "If you play with fire, you're going to get burned." Ironically, he froze to death two years later when he passed out in the snow, but the point of the story is that he was speaking the truth.

Case in point, here we see a dude lighting a glass of alcohol on fire, dipping his fingers in it to light his cigarette and then picking it up to presumably drink it while it's still on fire. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

Well, this:


The craziest part of the video might be the fact that he still held on to his cancer stick the entire time his penis was engulfed in flames. Here's to hoping he uses a match or Bic lighter like everybody else the next time he decides to light one up.

h/t Barstool Sports

The ol' you cheat on me and I'll set your dick on fire move: Woman Sets Cheating Boyfriend's Penis On Fire Because Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned

 

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Tennis Player Mocks Opponent's Annoying Grunts And Gets Penalized For It

June 1, 2016, 12:50 pm

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Odds are you missed Robin Haase taking on Gonzalo Lama in a first round match at the ATP Prostejov Challenger in the Czech Republic yesterday because you were busy doing anything else.

But the craziest thing happened in the second set with Lama serving. Lama apparently grunts like he's showing his toilet who's boss on every swing, and in their 13th game, Haase decided he had had enough of it and mixed in a grunt of his own.


We thought it was hysterical, but the chair umpire wasn't amused and actually penalized Haase a point for mocking his opponent. Lama wound up winning the match in straight sets, but odds are you're just like us and couldn't give two shits.

h/t The Independent

Here's a tennis video you'll want to watch over and over again: This Hot Girl Sucks At Tennis But We Can't Stop Watching Her

 

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This Is What It Looks Like When You Cut Half Of Your Face Off With A Chainsaw

June 1, 2016, 1:13 pm

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Well, you can cross male modeling off the bucket list.

According to the Daily Mail, a 68-year-old Australian man is lucky he still has a pulse after he accidentally sliced his face in half with a chainsaw last month and then drove himself to the hospital.

Bill Singleton was chopping wood on his property in Ballarat on May 6 but lost control of his chainsaw when he hit a tree trunk. Then, he literally cut his face in half.

"All I felt and heard was the crack of the blade going through my bottom jaw," Singleton said.

Unable to call for an ambulance because his tongue was split in two, Singleton had no choice but to hop into his vehicle and drive to the nearest hospital. But even as he made it to the hospital's parking lot, Singleton's battle with death was far from over.

"I was two-thirds of the way there and things started to spin, the lights went dark. I dropped to my knees and was on all fours," he said. But Singleton eventually managed to get himself back up and made his way inside the hospital.

Luckily, doctors said the chainsaw stopped...wait for it...one centimeter short of Singleton's larynx and carotid artery, and they were able to patch him up. Although for what it's worth, they did say that he looked like "something out of a science fiction movie."

And this is probably why they said that:

In @tennewsmelb at 5pm.
We speak to "chainsaw man" Bill Singleton.
A miracle survival after a horrible accident. pic.twitter.com/evXeHq0GQJ

— Stephen Quartermain (@Quartermain10) June 1, 2016

Vaping looks like a ton of fun as well: This Is What Happens When An E-Cigarette Blows Up In Your Face

 

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The 10 Hottest Sara Jean Underwood GIFS On The Internet

June 1, 2016, 1:56 pm

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They say the universe doesn't give us more than we can handle. Clearly, the universe never saw the hottest GIFs of Sara Jean Underwood on the Internet. If you were having a hard enough time with sexy photos of Sara, it's only going to get harder with her hot GIFs. From sexy Super Bowl commercials to hot yoga pants, you're about to get the best of the best of Sara Jean Underwood. But whatever you do with these, make sure you enjoy the last one, possibly the funniest and hottest GIF of all time.

 

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Woman Leaves Negative Yelp Review, Restaurant Responds By Accusing Her Of Crapping Her Pants

June 1, 2016, 4:13 pm

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This is a weird one.

Nick's Riverside Grill is a restaurant in Washington, DC, that a woman named Emma C. visited last week. Emma C. was not happy with her visit, and claims she was overcharged for drinks during happy hour. So, like many other upset restaurant patrons these days, she took to Yelp to complain about it.

Although her 1-star review has since been deleted, it was captured in a screenshot. Take a look below (h/t Uproxx):


Here's the transcript:

"NEVER GO AGAIN！WORST SERVICE！I went there for happy hour and they hold my card at the bar. Charged me two drinks and more while I only ordered one hh drink. I asked the bartender, he said he didn't have the right to change the bill and asked me to call the managerlater since he's out. I called and they just said manager is really busy and will call me back. As u can figure, no call at all. And they post the charge without my signature! I didn't sign the bill!! If u swipe my card wrongly for someone else, I'm not the one paying for it."

Pretty standard, right? But here's where it gets interesting. A manager from Nick's named Liz S. was not happy with this negative review, so she replied with a pants-shittingly good story about why that is the case. Once again, here is the transcript of the now-deleted reply:

"Hi Emma, We would like to address your complaint from the other evening. First of all, a manager did call you back, left a message and you chose to not return that call, probably because you didn't want to discuss the event's that occurred at our establishment that evening. We spoke to both bartenders and they are both confident that you did in fact have 2 happy hour drinks. You aren't hard to forget considering... Out of compassion and being decent human beings we did not charge you a waste removal fee. We were trying not to cause anymore embarrassment or humiliation to you. But after receiving your phone call and seeing this review on yelp, we feel we are justified in defending ourselves. The fact of the matter is you lost control of your bowels in the middle of our restaurant, and you proceeded to sit in it for the remainder of the evening, making more of a mess. We had to reroute our other patrons so they didn't walk through your mess, causing quite a scene. You then proceeded to throw your underwear away in our trash can and our poor manager working that night was left to clean up your feces. So for you to have the audacity to leave this review when we went above and beyond to make sure you were taken care of is petty and ridiculous. We hope in the future you will think before you act. We would be happy to refund your entire bill with the understanding you will never return to any of our establishments until you are potty trained."

Oh dear. That is a pretty nasty accusation. However, Nick's owner Greg Casten backed it up with a statement afterward saying that the incident involved fire fighters and EMTs, that multiple bartenders recognized Emma from her Yelp photo, and that they had it all on video.

HOWEVER, Emma C. has now contacted City Paper and claims that the restaurant has her confused with another woman, and that her original negative Yelp review still stands. According to Emma C.:

"It was merely a coincidence that I was at the bar the same night as this other girl, who I feel bad for since she is also being publicly dragged through the media. I just wanted to clarify that I'm just a dissatisfied customer who is now being accused by this establishment of being someone that I'm not, saying some very nasty things about me and also insulting this other girl who could potentially have serious health issues... It's ridiculous, irresponsible and extremely upsetting."

This is a real messy story, folks.

Related: New York Bar Owner Gives Negative Yelp Reviewer The Sassiest Response Ever

 

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Rose Bertram Does The Best Robot Dance In The History Of Robot Dances

June 1, 2016, 2:07 pm

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Rose Bertram is doing the unthinkable: turning something as redundantly unattractive as "the robot" into a sexy dance move. While shooting with Sports Illustrated Swimwear, Rose did some fun outtakes, which we're getting from sunny Tahiti Island. If you're looking for the less comical, sexy behind-the-scenes video from this shoot, check out some of this Rose Bertram right here, right now.

 

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