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Anthony Jeselnik's 10 Favorite Moments from Season 1 of The Jeselnik Offensive

July 9, 2013, 3:51 am
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Anthony Jeselnik is a wonderful man. His show, The Jeselnik Offensive, which starts its second season at 10:30pm tonight on Comedy Central, finds a way to delicately tread through the more difficult issues our society struggles to come to grips with.

Just kidding, he's a brutal comedian who ruthlessly mocks everything from cancer to Anne Frank while laughing at AIDS babies. And that's why we like him very, very much.

To celebrate the second season of The Jeselnik Offensive, we asked him to look back and give us his 10 favorite moments from the first season. We included video clips when they were available. Take it away, Anthony...

10. Is That a Baby in the Dryer?
Anthony Jeselnik: One of my favorite panel games. Our graphics guy, Nate, made a clip of a lifeless baby spinning in a dryer and we played different sound effects. Panelists had to guess if the sound was a baby in a dryer or not. One answer was a baby, one was a Panini maker, one was towels, and the last was three babies in a dryer. Classic.

9. Baby 9/11

Anthony Jeselnik: This was one of those bits I thought up years ago and then got to put on the show. Dress up two babies to look like the Twin Towers? Check. Spoon feed the baby while saying "Here comes the airplane." Check. Baby explodes? Check. People either loved this one or hated it. Wonderful.


8. Stuebenville Rape Joke
Anthony Jeselnik: Another of my favorite monologue jokes of the year. "Two teenagers in Stuebenville, Ohio were sentenced to just three years after being found guilty of raping a girl while she was passed out drunk. They actually could have gotten six years in prison, but they weren't pirating music." Nothing beats a rape joke that gets applause.


7. Tom Brady Monologue Joke
Anthony Jeselnik: One of my favorite monologue jokes of the year. "It's rumored that a current NFL player is strongly considering coming out of the closet within the next few months. Insiders wonder whether the player will be ostracized for being gay, or praised for having the courage to quarterback the Patriots to three Super Bowl championships." I hate the Patriots!

6. Black Name Spelling Bee

Anthony Jeselnik: This was an audience game where contestants had to spell some more difficult common African-American names. The best part? Our one black contestant correctly spelled Dont'a Hightower. Minds were blown.

5. Which Kind of Asian is This?

Anthony Jeselnik: This was a game where audience members came out and tried to identify the ethnicity of an Asian person in a photograph. Four contestants, four wrong answers. And a lot of fun.

4. Oscar Pistorious Panel

Anthony Jeselnik: The Oscar Pistorious murder case is ideal material for The Jeselnik Offensive. For some reason, it's okay to laugh at a woman being killed if her killer is a famous athlete with no legs. Patton Oswalt and Nick Kroll dove right in with me. Half the jokes were made up on the spot.

3. Top 3 Things We Can't Talk About
Anthony Jeselnik: The Boston Marathon bombing happened a few days before our season finale. Our corporate overlords refused to let us mention the tragedy on the show in any way. So we came up with this huge F-you to Comedy Central.

2. Cancer Stand Up

​Anthony Jeselnik: In our first episode, I did stand up jokes in front of a group of people currently battling cancer. This bit is everything The Jeselnik Offensive is all about. Starts out uncomfortable. Ends hilariously.

1. Shark Party
anthony jeselnik shark party, jeselnik offensive
Anthony Jeselnik: Shark Party was my favorite bit from the first season of The Jeselnik Offensive. I did a choreographed dance number with girls dressed like sharks and then got a lap dance from a giant shark. All to tastefully mock the victim of a fatal shark attack.

Watch the season 2 premiere of The Jeselnik Offensive at 10:30pm tonight on Comedy Central with guests Amy Schumer and Jim Norton. And follow Anthony on Twitter.

 

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Joselyn Cano Can Do No Wrong

July 9, 2013, 7:37 am
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Motorcyclist Goes the Extra Mile (Literally) to Save Coffee Mug

July 9, 2013, 9:44 am
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If more dudes on motorcycles went around performing good deeds like this, we'd probably be a lot less pissed off when they unexpectedly zoom past us on the freeway going 90 mph and make us piss our pants. Either way, we're proud of this guy, and judging by his little celebration at the very end, he's pleased with himself, too.

 

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Border Collie Writes Enlightening Op-Ed Piece For Local Paper

July 9, 2013, 11:09 am
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8 Real Real American Heroes

July 10, 2013, 12:05 am
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    The United States has plenty of heroes - men and women who have sacrificed everything to make this country great. ­­This feature is not about them. Instead, we're going to share ten stories about people who went above and beyond in the spirit of rugged individualism that made this country great. Oh, and there were often drinks involved. Here are some real real American heroes.

    Thomas Fitzpatrick

    When you need to get to your neighborhood bar for a spot of booze, any travel method will do. That's why, in September 1956, a man named Thomas Fitzpatrick stole a small plane from New Jersey's Teterboro School of Aeronautics and performed a daredevil flying feat by landing it on New York's narrow St. Nicholas Avenue, right in front of a bar. The cherry in this Old Fashioned? When a bar patron a month later didn't believe that he'd done it, he went back and did it again, this time landing on Amsterdam Avenue. Now that's dedication.

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    John Paul Stapp

    Sometimes if you want something done, you have to do it yourself. John Paul Stapp was a USAF colonel and doctor who, when told that the human body couldn't survive speeds above 18 times the force of gravity, set out to test that hypothesis with his own body. Rigging up a 1,500-pound rocket sled and mounting it on a track at Edwards Air Force Base, Stapp tossed out the test dummy and insisted on experiencing massively supersonic speeds himself. He then started experimenting with rapid deceleration, at one point going from 632 miles per hour to a dead stop in 1.4 seconds. His eyeballs hit his skull with such force that he was blinded for 45 minutes and he had burns on his skin from atmospheric dust, but he still walked out of that sled under his own power.

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    Walter G. Kendall

    Here's a true American hero who we'd love to know more about. Walter G. Kendall was a doctor living in Quincy, Massachusetts, when he made the papers in 1935 for drinking ... a glass of water. What's the big deal about drinking a glass of water? It was the first one he'd let pass his lips in 25 years. Up until then, the only liquid that entered his body was in the form of cocktails. Kendall pulled the hilarious stunt on the Fourth of July, and then went on to celebrate by ... drinking a bunch of booze. Truly a hero who epitomizes everything America stands for.

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    W.J.A. Grant

    Explorer W.J.A. Grant would have been a cool dude even without the story we're about to share, but read on to find out why he's a real American hero. In January 1934, the 82-year-old Grant was told by doctors that he only had a week to live. Insisting on going out on his own terms, he threw a "farewell party" in which he hung out in his coffin surrounded by a bevy of dancing girls. Over 500 people came to his living funeral, and everybody drank and caroused until the wee hours of the morning. Even better? Grant went on to prove the doctors wrong, living another year after his party.

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    Steven Slater

    One of the best things about America is that we all have the freedom to tell our employers to, as Johnny Paycheck said, "take this job and shove it." Steven Slater, a male flight attendant for JetBlue, performed one of the most epic quits of all time, earning a spot on this list. In 2010, he was working on a flight from Pittsburgh to New York City. After a passenger flipped him some lip about her bag, Slater got on the intercom and started cussing up a storm. He then opened a door, inflated the emergency slide and slid away, escaping in a nearby car. He briefly became a media celebrity after the act, even though it was revealed that his quitting wasn't really justified. Still an inspiration to us all.

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    Herbert Goss

    We aren't giving 78-year-old Pennsylvania man Herbert Goss any credit for getting pulled over for a DUI - there's no excuse for driving drunk, no matter what. But his behavior after the cops removed him from his car is worthy of note. Instead of giving the cops an excuse as to why he was intoxicated behind the wheel, Goss just delivered Humphrey Bogart's iconic line from Casablanca, "Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world." He proceeded to quote Bogie movies and Frank Sinatra lyrics at the cops - and nothing else - until they took him away to sober up.

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    Stewart Rahr

    A lot of dudes sow their wild oats post-divorce, but pharmaceutical billionaire Stewart Rahr, nicknamed "The Number One King of All Fun," just made headlines for one of the most YOLO parties ever. Rahr, who just split with his wife of 43 years (at a cost of $250 million), celebrated the separation by getting dirty with three nubile young women in the back of a limousine. Sure, making out with hired hotties is nothing new, but it's how the world learned about it that really elevates him to hero status. Rahr videotaped the whole thing (which was so explicit that some compared it to a porn movie) and sent it unsolicited to dozens of people. What does he care? He's set for life.

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    Next: The Most 'Murican 'Murica Images

    Luis Briones

    And from the sublime to the ridiculous - Luis Briones, a New Mexico man, got in a little trouble with the law earlier this year when he crashed his car into a parked vehicle. Needless to say, alcohol was involved, but that wasn't the only distraction. While he was driving his Ford Explorer and swigging shots of vodka out of the bottle, Briones was also having sex with a woman named Natasha Carroll. Now that's multitasking! When the accident happened, Carroll was ejected naked from the car and Briones, clad in just a pair of shorts and one shoe, tried to hide in a nearby cactus patch. He might not be the smartest guy, but to go that nutty behind the wheel is truly American.

 

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A Helpful Guide for Summer Camp Counselors

July 10, 2013, 12:10 am
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    Summer camp is an adventure for all parties involved, especially the camp counselors who spend the days with parents' wild little ones, who they were more than happy to pay you to get rid of for a week. With summer underway, and in conjunction with the premiere of NBC's "Camp" on July 10, here are a few things for counselors to consider while trying to keep a leash on these kids and also maintain their happiness and yours.

    Their Parents Will Return Soon Enough

    So please refrain from killing them. They're only your problem/responsibility for a brief, exciting period of time, one which allows you the opportunity to teach them new and exciting things about the beauty of nature, the harm of having cable and Internet at all times and inspiration for the future. Then, their folks will arrive to relieve you of their soiled sheets and alleviate your migraines. Later, you'll laugh because you almost smacked one particularly irritating brat, forgetting that parents have that to deal with this crap for at least 18 years, sometimes 40.

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    Exploit Arts and Crafts Time

    With enough devotion to arts and crafts, there is no doubt you can open your own Etsy shop with fairly low overhead. Child labor, you say? Sweat shops? No, this is simply taking the hard work of an overly zealous group of children, all under the age of 16, and using their sweat and tears to turn a mighty profit through your latest online bazaar of leather and hemp goods for the everyday Internet craft hoarder. Use their little fingers to your advantage, and feel free to turn it into a lesson in economics that they will assuredly thank you for later.

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    No Soda After Sundown

    No matter what you do, your camp kids can and will pee the bed. So it's a matter of containment. Soda, juice boxes or whatever tooth-decaying rot they put in their empty little heads is what will keep you up all night while they scream, pillow fight and give each other wedgies, especially if you let 'em consume it like the sugar-sucking vampires they are when the parents leave.

    The best thing you can do, counselor, is monitor the intake. Make it known that he who stays up the longest will sleep outside with the bears. And practice getting everyone interested in the silent game; otherwise you'll have no hair left to rip out by the end of this blissful summer.

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    Boys Learn About Girls at Camp

    It's not enough to scare them straight though, only pique their interest. They learn about cooties, bikinis, makeout parties and best of all, older girls and their boobs. The job of a counselor is to somewhat sedate the hormones of the raging teenager and to keep every boy from having an earthquake in his trousers, a truly tragic scene at any campground.

    Although girls are the best part of any wet, hot summer and historically as much a part of any good camp film, know that if those kids sneak out in the dark hours of night for a moonlight coed rendezvous, there's no telling the dollar amount in medical bills their parents will send you before that girl even hits her third trimester.

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    Watch Out for Hot Tub Shenanigans

    It's not a talk you'd ever expect to give your own child, let alone a strange youngster, but you inherited the responsibility when you took the job, troop master. It's as simple as this: Soap dispensers are for the cleaning of hands in, and only in, the confines of the bathroom.

    Simply taking the soap bags out of said dispensers, shoving them in your pockets and hopping into the hot tub for a good laugh will only result in a suspension from these hot tubs, along with ruining a casually sudsy good time for everyone else. There are plenty of suds in the hot tub already, not enough room for the suds of another kind.

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    If They Don't Shower, Hose 'Em Down

    Campers are not required, by any means, to bathe themselves throughout their stay at Camp Boogerbutt, but that doesn't mean camp leaders can't come up with a good excuse to remove some of the stagnant filth from their bodies.

    Hikes through the freshwater streams, rainy day games of Capture the Flag and a good old fashion water balloon fight are just small ideas in an otherwise abusive attempt to avoid sleeping with the stench of a hundred pubescent teenagers every humid night of your summer stay. You better be getting paid for this.

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    They're Not Yours, So Be Honest

    It's a parent's duty to indulge their kid's every whim without so much as a sigh, so long as the child doesn't commit murder or burn the house down. As camp counselor, the parents assume you own that just the same while their kids are under your watch, but in actuality, you can straighten that nose-picking, unpolished turd out if you so choose.

    The trick is usually sensibility, using the appropriate manner in which to teach kids they're about two swings of the bat away from ending up in juvy with a bright future in janitorial work. Although it may be best to stay out of others' affairs, sometimes it doesn't hurt to tell a kid to quit sniffing his own farts and eating those boogers after a big breakfast.

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    A Guitar Settles Children Down, But So Does Tylenol PM

    Kids feel little else other than the need to be constantly entertained; otherwise, it's just the loud noises of them trying to entertain themselves. So entertain them and save your humanity. And we're not saying to drug the kids, but it is definitely a physical possibility that accidents like that do take place.

    If you know a few songs on the guitar or ukulele, crack it out and shut them up. Sing-alongs are good because it keeps them focused, but odds are they aren't a bunch of little choir kids, so be wary. If you don't know how to play an instrument, go a capella, make up some camp stories, steal others' stories or learn a freaking magic trick. If you don't, it's your funeral, counselor.

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    Get Those Waivers Signed

    When you take a group of kids zip-lining, hiking over large rocks or catapulting them into large bodies of water, it might be best to know your ass is covered. Even in soft water activities, when you see the big kid of the group coming full speed at the skinny Buckwheat character wearing little protective gear, you better strap in for a quick trip to the camp nurse.

    Remember that she faints at the sight of blood and has probably never had to reattach limbs before, so squash the foul play, bullying and rough-housing before someone is physically squashed and you have to use a metal rod to pry them from the Earth.

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    Next: Hilariously Ironic Photos, Vol. 2

    You'll Regret Being a Prick

    Kids love to pull pranks on each other, but even more so on adults, making camp counselors the perfect targets. It's in your best interest to be a cool, cautious counselor and not a stick-in-the-mud like most people with any certain amount of authority.

    Instead of being an adult bully and bossing children around, befriend the kids and watch out for the ones who might get picked on. Chances are you were that kid once in your life, plus it'll help keep bear shit and fox piss out of your shoes, and you can yuck it up with the kids when they inevitably prey on the troop master with the biggest mouth who you don't like either. That's what camp is really all about!

 

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The Longer Dwight Howard Went Unsigned: An Accurate Graph

July 10, 2013, 1:39 am
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Ridiculous Captions Make iStockphotos Much Better

July 10, 2013, 2:09 am
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Roman Gladiators vs. American Gladiators

July 10, 2013, 2:55 am
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Today's Funniest Photos 7-10-13

July 10, 2013, 3:36 am
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Hey Cleveland, It's Time to Let Go of This Whole LeBron Thing

July 10, 2013, 3:40 am
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By Stephen M. Zorio


Three years ago, LeBron James ripped the hearts out of Cavaliers fans in a nationally televised spectacle that should have shamed everyone involved with it.

lebron james, let it go cleveland

It was seen, rightly, as a needlessly indulgent spectacle that obsequiously catered to the whims of a petulant superstar while showing scant regard for the fans who backed him. Jim Gray cemented his reputation as a man who will do anything to be on TV. ESPN proved the spectacle, once again, matters more than the substance.

Fans burned jerseys and attacked LeBron in every medium possible. Dan Gilbert used a font usually found in the diaries of teen shut-ins to vent to make some foolish claims. Claims of racism (not totally unfounded) were levied and the painfully awkward Heat pre-celebration party fueled the hatred even further.

The anger took on a life of its own, culminating in thousands of people (me included) rooting against LeBron/for the Mavericks.

And then LeBron choked and then we all laughed at him and wondered if he'd ever win and then we all got over it ... except for Cleveland.

Many of us know the person who, despite frantic attempts to cut them off with, 'Right, you've told this story ...' plow ahead anyway, regaling you with the 287th version of the time that one person did that one thing and everyone laughed/cried/sealed the emergency exits and prepared for a memorable death.

What becomes clear in the many tellings and re-tellings is that the story has a great personal significance to the person telling it, but little in the way of actual significance.

And while some portion of us will squirm politely and pretend we don't know precisely what Uncle Jeff said to the waitress (it was racist), the rest wish desperately for the story to end. Not because the story was without merit initially, but because at some point it becomes a dull obsession.

Cleveland, we are Uncle Jeff (minus the racism).

lebron james, let it go cleveland

A quick aside on the we: I have been a Cavs and Indians fan since 1983. I have a Kenny Lofton bobblehead on my desk. I lived in Ohio during both The Drive and The Fumble. I have seen the inversely proportionate highlight (Jordan rises, Ehlo falls down) often enough that I have fever dreams about it. I remember the 'Can the Cavs Finally Jam?' Sports Illustrated cover (no, they could not) and Gerald Wilkins calling himself 'The Jordan Stopper' (no, he most certainly was not). I loathe the Marlins. I have NBA League Pass to watch the Cavs (Anthony Bennet ... huh) and MLB League Pass to watch the Tribe (thanks for chasing Terry Francona out, Boston).

In short, when it comes to Cleveland sports, I get it. But, more pointedly, where it comes to LeBron, I got it. Note the verb tense.

It's time to let the LeBron vitriol go. To be fair, this applies to more than just Cleveland fans, but Cavs fans seem to fuel it and provide cover for people who stupidly rip his skill set. Let's be clear: We are watching one of the greatest players to ever set foot on an NBA court. The reflexive response here is something along the lines of 'derrrrr Jordan,' but that is both a nearly impossible standard and irrelevant.

But stats aside, let's look at The Decision for what it was at its core: A 24-year-old male made a poor choice and recorded it. That's it. At its heart, it featured a young man doing a foolish and imperious thing, save that it was writ large.

Putting aside his bizarre final games, the guy holds a stunning number of Cavs records. He carried a franchise to their first ever NBA Finals appearance with a roster that had no business being there. And he almost did it a second time save for a freakishly hot shooting Magic team. He watched a long line of castoffs miss wide open 3s (Donyell Marshall, I'm looking at you). He suffered through Mike Brown's (sigh) bizarre refusal to run an actual offense and watched as a series of second bananas either said no the Cavs or failed in that role.

Yes, he was paid a lot of money and became very rich in the process, but so did the Cavaliers. The city itself benefited from his presence, likely in very concrete and measurable economic terms. LeBron was the best player to ever don a Cavs uniform by far. So the entire loyalty argument is out the door.

lebron james, let it go cleveland

Besides, it's time to be honest about this: Think of yourself in your mid-20s. You can take a lot of money and stay in Cleveland where the weather is ... gray ... a lot. Or you can take a lot of money and go live in Miami and be surrounded by gorgeous women and amazing culture and miles of beaches. Not to mention that you finally get that second guy the Cavs could never land. What is so unfathomable about that choice? Seriously, go look at the forecasts for those two cities right now. It's not a contest and it's foolish to act like it doesn't matter.

Yes, the way in which LeBron left was idiotic. And he has admitted as much. To wit: "[If] I was a fan, and I was very passionate about one player, and he decided to leave, I would be upset too about the way he handled it."

But he left and it's not an unpardonable offense. Young men have been making stupid decisions for tens of thousands of years. This site has ample proof of that. Sure, it was unfair to elevate that decision into a public spectacle, but it's unfair to crucify LeBron for doing something that, fundamentally, is so unremarkable as to be pedestrian.

So move past him, concentrate on the future, hope Kyrie Irving can stay healthy and that Dion Waiters is a legit two and that Anthony Bennett proves Chris Grant is a mad genius. But let LeBron go. For now. And pray his next decision has him coming back.

 

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Exclusive: Free Tickets to See 'The World's Greatest Tribute Bands' Season 2 Live

July 10, 2013, 6:05 am
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GREAT news, music fans: The World's Greatest Tribute Bands is back for a second season! Starting July 15th, every Monday you can tune in to AXS TV to join host Katie Daryl as she leads the rest of us on a mission to find bands that have devoted their time and talent to paying homage to some of the greatest bands of all time.

Not only can you watch all of these epic concerts on LIVE national TV, but you can actually be there in person! Each show is performed in front of a live audience at the Roxy Theatre in Hollywood, Calif. The shows this season pay tribute to all of your favorites including Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Bon Jovi, Depeche Mode and more. The season premier kicks it all off with a tribute to David Bowie and you can be a part of it.



Even GREATER news: Mandatory has been given exclusive access to 100 tickets to all of the shows even if they're sold out!

The tickets are available here and will be distributed on a first-come, first-served basis. Don't miss this awesome opportunity for you to witness these incredibly entertaining performances live and in person.








"The World's Greatest Tribute Bands" is broadcast LIVE, Nationwide on AXS TV (check your local listings) every Monday 8PT/11ET from the legendary Roxy Theatre in Hollywood, Calif.

 

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Amanda Hinchcliffe's Steamy Workout

July 10, 2013, 7:24 am
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    Amanda Hinchcliffe is a gorgeous model from Sydney, Australia. And as you are about to see, her body is a thing of beauty. Hinchcliffe was the last model to win the title of Miss Hawaiian Tropic International. She has also been featured as the eye candy for companies like Bras N Things, Unit Clothing and Monster Energy Drink. If you are a fan of the band Wolfmother, you may recognize Amanda from their music videos, as well. Finally, her motto in life is this: "Life is a roller coaster, but think positive and you'll go far." Click ahead for more sexy shots of the model who we believe will go far.

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    Follow Amanda Hinchcliffe on Twitter.
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    Amanda Hinchcliffe is a gorgeous model from Sydney, Australia. And as you are about to see, her body is a thing of beauty. Hinchcliffe was the last model to win the title of Miss Hawaiian Tropic International. She has also been featured as the eye candy for companies like Bras N Things, Unit Clothing and Monster Energy Drink. If you are a fan of the band Wolfmother, you may recognize Amanda from their music videos, as well. Finally, her motto in life is this: "Life is a roller coaster, but think positive and you'll go far." Click ahead for more sexy shots of the model who we believe will go far.

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    More From Mandatory: Nude Celebrity Photo Scandals

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    Amanda Hinchcliffe is a gorgeous model from Sydney, Australia. And as you are about to see, her body is a thing of beauty. Hinchcliffe was the last model to win the title of Miss Hawaiian Tropic International. She has also been featured as the eye candy for companies like Bras N Things, Unit Clothing and Monster Energy Drink. If you are a fan of the band Wolfmother, you may recognize Amanda from their music videos, as well. Finally, her motto in life is this: "Life is a roller coaster, but think positive and you'll go far." Click ahead for more sexy shots of the model who we believe will go far.

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    Check out more hot brunettes on Mandatory.
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    Amanda Hinchcliffe is a gorgeous model from Sydney, Australia. And as you are about to see, her body is a thing of beauty. Hinchcliffe was the last model to win the title of Miss Hawaiian Tropic International. She has also been featured as the eye candy for companies like Bras N Things, Unit Clothing and Monster Energy Drink. If you are a fan of the band Wolfmother, you may recognize Amanda from their music videos, as well. Finally, her motto in life is this: "Life is a roller coaster, but think positive and you'll go far." Click ahead for more sexy shots of the model who we believe will go far.

  • Picdesk.com
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    Amanda Hinchcliffe is a gorgeous model from Sydney, Australia. And as you are about to see, her body is a thing of beauty. Hinchcliffe was the last model to win the title of Miss Hawaiian Tropic International. She has also been featured as the eye candy for companies like Bras N Things, Unit Clothing and Monster Energy Drink. If you are a fan of the band Wolfmother, you may recognize Amanda from their music videos, as well. Finally, her motto in life is this: "Life is a roller coaster, but think positive and you'll go far." Click ahead for more sexy shots of the model who we believe will go far.

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    Amanda Hinchcliffe is a gorgeous model from Sydney, Australia. And as you are about to see, her body is a thing of beauty. Hinchcliffe was the last model to win the title of Miss Hawaiian Tropic International. She has also been featured as the eye candy for companies like Bras N Things, Unit Clothing and Monster Energy Drink. If you are a fan of the band Wolfmother, you may recognize Amanda from their music videos, as well. Finally, her motto in life is this: "Life is a roller coaster, but think positive and you'll go far." Click ahead for more sexy shots of the model who we believe will go far.

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    Next: Stacy Gray's Anatomy is a Must See

    Amanda Hinchcliffe is a gorgeous model from Sydney, Australia. And as you are about to see, her body is a thing of beauty. Hinchcliffe was the last model to win the title of Miss Hawaiian Tropic International. She has also been featured as the eye candy for companies like Bras N Things, Unit Clothing and Monster Energy Drink. If you are a fan of the band Wolfmother, you may recognize Amanda from their music videos, as well. Finally, her motto in life is this: "Life is a roller coaster, but think positive and you'll go far." Click ahead for more sexy shots of the model who we believe will go far.

 

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Familiar Voices: The Faces Behind Our Favorite Cartoon Characters

July 11, 2013, 12:06 am
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    Voice acting is a multi-million dollar industry spanning virtually all forms of modern media from radio spots to video games, and because a few dozen people dominate that industry, it often seems like the same character you saw last night cursing Batman is now trying to sell you Butterfingers.

    Here's a look at some of entertainment's most popular voice actors, all of whom are paradoxically almost unknown in live performances.

    DAN CASTALLANETA

    KNOWN FOR: The half of the Simpsons not voiced by Hank Azaria, smaller roles in other cartoons

    While Dan Castallaneta doesn't voice as many characters as other actors on this list, the ones he does (namely Homer Simpson) have earned him more money and awards than anyone else.

    The recipient of 4 of "The Simpsons" voice cast's 14 total Emmy Awards for Outstanding Voice Performance, Castallaneta is one of the highest-paid voice actors in history, but his excursions into stand-up and improv (including the 2002 album I Am Not Homer) have been less lucrative.

    Need even more of a Simpsons fix? Check out our very own Ralph Wiggum's Guide to Life.

  • Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images/Nickelodeon
    2 of 10

    TOM KENNY

    KNOWN FOR: A talking sponge, a deranged ice wizard, the new voice of Rabbit in "Winnie the Pooh" productions since 2011, and too many minor characters to list here

    Gifted comic Tom Kenny might be known to some people as a key cast member of Bob Odenkirk and David Cross' influential HBO sketch comedy "Mr. Show," but his distinctive voice is immediately recognizable to many as that of SpongeBob SquarePants.

    Kenny first started his voice career on "Rocko's Modern Life" as bovine sidekick Heffer Wolfe and soon became a close friend of show creator Joe Murray. His wide range of goofy accents and inflections lead to voice roles where he often plays two or three big or little characters in a given episode, although his only "starring" role besides SpongeBob is that of the Ice King in Cartoon Network's "Adventure Time."

  • Eric Charbonneau/WireImage/Hasbro
    3 of 10

    TARA STRONG

    KNOWN FOR: Ben, Ken, and Sandra Tennyson of "Ben 10," Timmy Turner of "Fairly OddParents," Raven of "Teen Titans" and "Teen Titans Go!"

    If you chose any young female character from about 1986 onward, there's a good chance that it was voiced by actress Tara Strong, but the same could be said for many male characters as well.

    Many female voice performers often play young boys in cartoons due to the shortage of male actors who can sustain a prepubescent voice, and Strong has lent her voice to a number of cartoon guys.

    Strong has also featured in a number of video game roles, appearing several times as the voice of Harley Quinn in Arkham Asylum and Injustice: Gods Among Us. She currently enjoys a measure of fame as the speaking voice of Twilight Sparkle in "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic," the favorite show of precocious girls and creepy men alike.

  • Imeh Akpanudosen/Getty Images/Fox
    4 of 10

    MAURICE LAMARCHE

    KNOWN FOR: Morbo, Calculon, Lrr, and many others from "Futurama," Toucan Sam and the narrator for Lexus commercials, and any time Orson Welles has appeared on screen since he died

    After a promising stand-up career was cut short by a series of personal tragedies, gifted mimic Maurice LaMarche decided to focus full-time on what had previously been a sideline voicing characters on "GI Joe" and "The Real Ghostbusters."

    Auditioning for the part of the Brain on Warner Brothers' "Animaniacs," LaMarche rolled out an Orson Welles impression that he was soon to become famous for-in fact, his Welles was regarded as so dead-on that his voice was dubbed over Vincent D'Onofrio's Welles in the 1994 film, "Ed Wood."

    LaMarche's Welles and other impressions earned him a spot in the short-lived animated sitcom "The Critic" where during one 30-minute episode he voiced 29 different characters. His range was put to good use again in 2001's Adult Swim series "Harvey Birdman," where LaMarche could indulge his life-long affection for Hanna-Barbera cartoons by mimicking the classic voices behind Fred Flintstone, Apache Chief, and Magilla Gorilla.

  • IMDB/Walt Disney
    5 of 10

    TRESS MACNEILLE

    KNOWN FOR: Dot of "Animaniacs," Mom of "Futurama," Chip and sometimes Dale of "Chip n' Dale", Daisy Duck and multiple other voices of Kingdom Hearts II

    Tress MacNeille wanted to do the voices for her favorite cartoons ever since she was eight, but was pressured into a "real" job as a broadcaster and disc jockey that she only broke out of twenty years later as a voice on an episode of "Scooby-Doo and Scrappy-Doo."

    Minor roles followed until 1990, when she was cast as Babs Bunny of "Tiny Toon Adventures" and worked on the side doing minor voices for "The Simpsons."

    Today, it's hard to find an episode of "The Simpsons" where MacNeille's voice doesn't crop up, either as semi-regular characters like Agnes Skinner or as multiple smaller female characters in an episode, and her 200-plus acting credits include TV, film, anime dubs, and video games.

  • Valerie Macon/Getty Images/Fox
    6 of 10

    PHIL LAMARR

    KNOWN FOR: Samurai Jack of the series of the same name, Static Shock of the series of the same name, Hermes Conrad of "Futurama" (original title The Hermes Conrad Show)

    On the off chance you might have watched some of the early episodes of Fox sketch comedy "MADtv," you might have noticed gifted improv comedian Phil LaMarr in a number of celebrity impressions, ranging from Samuel L. Jackson to Bill Maher.

    If not, you might have briefly seen him as Marvin in "Pulp Fiction ("Aw man, I shot Marvin in the face")."  If you're the sort of (odd) person who notices the credits during cartoons, you might know him as the voice of Samurai Jack, Green Lantern, and Hermes Conrad, along with dozens of other, smaller roles that require a deep, resounding voice, as well as a number of minor African-American characters across a wide variety of shows.

  • Gustavo Caballero/Getty Images/Warner Bros
    7 of 10

    FRANK WELKER

    KNOWN FOR: Most of the original "Transformers" characters (including their cameo appearances on shows like "Family Guy" and "Robot Chicken"), the current voice of Garfield, too many Hanna-Barbera characters (big and small) to list here, and an astonishing number of non-talking animals

    If you're in need of a good measure of just how many voices Frank Welker has provided to cartoons over his long career, consider the fact that his films grossed more than those featuring any other actor for 31 years until Samuel L Jackson finally broke his record in 2011, only to lose it the next year by almost $1.3 billion.

    It wasn't so much because Welker was in particularly big pictures (with a few notable exceptions) but because he did and does "appear" in dozens of movies each year in roles as big as leading characters and as small as incidental animal noises, the most recent of which was the provision of wolf growls for the Liam Neeson thriller "The Grey."

    Welker's first voice role was as Fred Jones from the various "Scooby-Doo" cartoon series, a role that he amazingly still plays today (while also taking on the voice duties for Scooby-Doo himself), and one that he's so deeply tied to that almost every single appearance of the character on any show is almost certain to feature Welker's voice talents.

  • Wikimedia commons/Rocky and Bullwinkle Wiki
    8 of 10

    JUNE FORAY

    KNOWN FOR: Nearly every female character on "The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show," hundreds of uncredited or partially-credited roles for Hanna-Barbera, Granny from Warner Brothers shorts from 1955 to today

    The voice of Rocket J. Squirrel, Cindy Lou Who, and Granny from "Tweety and Sylvester" cartoons (even today), June Foray was the first voice actress to hit it big, to the point where legendary animator Chuck Jones once said "June Foray is not the female Mel Blanc, Mel Blanc was the male June Foray."

    Foray got into radio voice acting at the age of 15, becoming a fixture of the golden age of radio until she landed the part of Lucifer the Cat in 1950's "Cinderella." This was the beginning of a long and storied career in voice work that included roles in TV, feature films, and even the voice of the original "Chatty Cathy" doll.

    At 95, June Foray is the oldest person to win an Emmy (for her performance on "The Garfield Show") and is slated to reprise her performance as Rocky in a new series of Rocky and Bullwinkle shorts.

  • Wikimedia Commons
    9 of 10

    MEL BLANC

    KNOWN FOR: Practically every single classic cartoon character ever

    The industry's first celebrity voice actor, Mel Blanc was actually known well enough from his radio performances on "The Jack Benny Program" that he briefly had his own radio show.

    The work he's still famous for today, however, was with Leon Schlesinger Productions, creating the voices for virtually all of today's WB cartoon characters and also becoming the first voice artist to earn a screen credit (a concession granted after Schlesinger refused to raise Blanc's salary).

    After his WB exclusive contract expired, Blanc started working with Hanna-Barbera and Chuck Jones' MGM Animation, voicing dozens more characters for years and even returning to the role of Bugs Bunny for a "walk-on" in 1988's "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" a year before his death.

    The only significant break in Mel Blanc's career was a horrific car accident in 1961 that left him in a coma for two weeks, but even then cartoons were in his blood. H son Noel said that in a desperate gamble, one of the attending neurologists walked up to the bed and asked "Bugs Bunny, how are you doing today?" There was a brief and embarrassing silence before a weak but immediately recognizable voice croaked, "Myeeeeh... what's up, doc?"

  • Free Info Society/Wikimedia Commons
    10 of 10
    Next: Top 15 One-Time Guest Appearances on The Simpsons

    DON LAFONTAINE

    KNOWN FOR: If you watched a movie preview between the years of 1980 and 2008, you've heard his voice

    The only performer on this list not to work in animation (with the exception of a few cameos), Don LaFontaine is impossible to leave off of any list of any voice artists. He is without a doubt the most popular and recognizable disembodied voice anyone has ever heard.

    Known for an echoing baritone he claims to have had since he was 13, LaFontaine has worked in recording and sound ever since his military career as an engineer for the Army Band and Chorus, branching out into radio and film advertising, where he claims to have invented his trademark phrase "In a world..." before filling in for a sick voice artist on an MGM spot began his vocal career.

    Working for a number of different trailer production firms before striking out on his own, LaFontaine lent his voice to over 5000 film trailers and 750,000 TV and video game promotions. At his peak, he was recording over sixty promotions each working week.

    Late in his life, LaFontaine entered the public eye to poke fun at his image: in 1997's "Five Men and a Limo," LaFontaine starred with four other famous trailer voiceover artists as an introductory sketch to the Hollywood Key Awards, and after his 2006 appearance in a GEICO ad as "that announcer guy from the movies" he joked "there goes any anonymity I might have had..." Sadly, Don LaFontaine passed away at the age of 68, ending an era.

 

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Scott Aukerman Has Really Enjoyable Fake Names on Comedy Bang! Bang!

July 11, 2013, 1:26 am
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The comedian you see pictured below is Scott Aukerman. His name rhymes with a lot of hilarious phrases that make no sense, many of which appeared as his name during the first season of his fantastic show Comedy Bang! Bang! on IFC. Season two of the show premieres this Friday night and I really hope for all of our sakes that his graphics department never uses his real name.

scott aukerman, posh nachomanscott aukerman, stop clockermanscott aukerman, flop chonkentonscott aukerman, stop tacomanscott aukerman, hot saucermanscott aukerman, shop talkermanscott aukerman, hot soccermomscott aukerman, schock jockerman

 

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Jennifer Archuleta is One of the Sexiest WAGs of All Time

July 11, 2013, 1:56 am
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Today's Funniest Photos 7-11-13

July 11, 2013, 2:00 am
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Today's Funniest Photos 7-12-13

July 11, 2013, 2:25 am
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The 31 Funniest Twitpic Jokes on Twitter

July 11, 2013, 2:27 am
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Sometimes a joke can't be contained by just 140 characters and requires a bit of visual assistance. We searched the internet and put together 30 of the funniest Twitpics you'll ever see. Be sure to follow all these hilarious people when you're done! (Click on any of the image links to enlarge.)

 

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The Funniest GIFs of the Week - 7-11-2013

July 11, 2013, 2:57 am
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