9. HE CAN REGENERATE...EVERYTHING

Wolverine's mutant ability to heal any wound has prevented him from experiencing more castrations than a season of "Game of Thrones." He's had his junk shot off not once, but twice - first by The Punisher (who at least had the decency to shoot Logan's face off first), and once by a New Avengers villain called The Hood. By the second time, Wolvie was so used to it, he just ends up sitting casually behind a bar waiting for Li'l Logan to sprout back, muttering "Maybe it'll grow back bigger." Here's hoping, big man.

8. HE WAS ONCE BATMAN

Despite their rivalry, Marvel and DC Comics come together from time to time to mix and match their respective champions - but never was this concept taken as literally as it was during the "Amalgam" series. These weren't team-ups, they were mash-ups, with crazy hybrid heroes formed out of comic's finest. So the guy who is infamous for disemboweling enemies with his freaky claws got mixed with the nocturnal avenger with a strict "no killing" policy to give us the undoubtedly schizophrenic Dark Claw. Beats being AquaWolvie, we guess.

7. HE WENT H.A.M. ON CONAN

Conan the Barbarian has his own unique pop culture history, but he is also, technically, a member of the Marvel Universe - which means that at some point he has to encounter Wolverine because kids will buy anything with Wolverine in it so just do it already! Instead of following the usual "Let's fight, no let's be friends" team-up dynamic, a feral Wolverine attacks the Cimmerian and gives him the ol' "Luke Skywalker" - hacking off Conan's hand. Please, Arnie, find a way to work this into your next Conan movie.

6. WOLVERWEENIE

How do you take down a guy with unbreakable bones, massive claws, healing powers, and hair trigger temper? You mess with his mind, of course. During a run on Astonishing X-Men, the telepath Emma Frost got all up inside Logan's thought cave and essentially turned him into a frightened toddler. He spent several issues cowering in corners around the X-Mansion and crying until his memory returned in the most Wolverine way possible - he clunked his head on a fridge and saw a can of beer. Presto! Memories returned!

5. COUNT LOGAN

The "What If?" stories are the island of misfit plots for Marvel writers, and issue #24 was no exception. It's the same old chestnut: Dracula infiltrates the X-Men and turns all the heroes into fang heads. However, Drac's psychic powers don't work on Logan, who does what you'd expect a vampire Wolverine to do - he kills Dracula and becomes Lord of the Vampires. Like you couldn't guess.

4. THE EFF'D F

Back in the early 90s, Marvel's first family, the Fantastic Four, were kidnapped by the alien shapeshifters known as the Skrulls. Stepping in to take the place of one of the oldest and most recognizable superhero teams of all time? A makeshift Fantastic Four made up of Wolverine, Spider-Man, Ghost Rider, and Gray Hulk. They were still, for some reason, called The Fantastic Four and not the more accurate Arbitrary Four.

3. TAZ WOLVERINE

If you're tasked with babysitting a little girl with dormant demonic powers, you should keep your bedtime stories simple. Unfortunately, X-Man Kitty Pryde decided to tell a whopper of a fantasy involving scores of bizarre creatures. Of course, she ended up being sucked INTO her own fairy tale, coming face-to-face with a tiny, cigar-chomping, beer-chugging Tasmanian Devil-like version of Wolverine known as Fiend-With-No-Name.

2. MUTANT SLEAZE POWERS

In the "Ultimate" comics - essentially, an early 2000s relaunch of all the major Marvel characters - Peter Parker is once again a 15-year-old high school student who moonlights as Spider-Man. Keep that in mind, because one storyline involved Parker and Wolverine getting mind-swapped by X-Men telepath Jean Grey. So what does the 70 or 80-year-old Wolverine DO inside the body of a 15-year-old boy? Try to nail that boy's 15-year-old girlfriend Mary Jane, of course. The story set a whole new bar for uncomfortableness.

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@smedlee

When I lose a follower, I like to pretend they were taken, then I go to Europe and shoot absolutely everyone.

@nealbrennan

I'm so gangster, I don't even report to Apple when Safari unexpectedly quits. Snitches get stitches.

@Cryptoterra

My sense of humor has been decsribed as "please stop" and "you're ruining dinner."

@raresecretegg

fun Fact for you; if you stacked up allllllllLLLLLllll the pancake in the World then I'm coming over for breakfast >;)

@travisauruss

if you say "Jesus" backwards it's basically "sausage." So either way you look at it, he's a pretty great guy.

@Playing_Dad

Sitting at my daughter's pretend restaurant. The service is horrible here and the prices are outrageous.

@8bitf0x

haha ok son here's another riddle, what has 4 legs but isn't alive?

"a chair haha duh, nice try mo-

it's your dog. Spot's dead billy.

@Randazzoj

Cool people: "I've never seen Game of Thrones or Mad Men or sports or a thing with people or words or colors or ideas. I don't breathe."

@theyearofelan

A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. A lot of animals do things. It is not our place to judge.

@MelissaStetten

Why isn't there a Ben & Jerry's falvor called OREO Speedwagon?

@NickBossRoss

Let us not judge a man based on the color of his skin, but by which character he picks in Super Smash Bros.

@brendohare

The key to happiness is realizing that the sexy single in your area is you.

@ShittingtonUK

He was a good dog. He was a beautiful, very good dog. Who was a good dog? Who's a beautiful, good boy? Was it you? It was. -Dog obituary

@MikeDrucker

My favorite drinking game is making it through the day.

@ieatanddrink

Are there glory holes for just holding hands?

@degg

*takes puff from a weed blunt* dude what if like kids keep coming inside w/dirty shoes? the earth will be gone cuz all the dirts inside now

@SunnyMabrey

Probably not going to run with or without scissors

@tlemco

That awkward moment when you try to start a food fight by throwing a sandwich but the guy just catches it and says "thanks for the sandwich'

Australian model Stacey McMahon is more than just a blonde, busty babe pretending to look tough for a photo shoot. She actually is. As a qualified fitness instructor and personal trainer, she got her start in modeling at age 20 when she moved to Melbourne. Obviously having a rocking bod, McMahon was featured in countless men's and fitness magazines overseas, and eventually started her own agency called White Tiger. Hungry for more, though, Stacey decided to give motorbike racing a try, and actively competes to this day. She is also a bodybuilder. So click ahead for more of this sexy, strong, blonde and busty model who can probably kick your ass.

Australian model Stacey McMahon is more than just a blonde, busty babe pretending to look tough for a photo shoot. She actually is. As a qualified fitness instructor and personal trainer, she got her start in modeling at age 20 when she moved to Melbourne. Obviously having a rocking bod, McMahon was featured in countless men's and fitness magazines overseas, and eventually started her own agency called White Tiger. Hungry for more, though, Stacey decided to give motorbike racing a try, and actively competes to this day. She is also a bodybuilder. So click ahead for more of this sexy, strong, blonde and busty model who can probably kick your ass.

Australian model Stacey McMahon is more than just a blonde, busty babe pretending to look tough for a photo shoot. She actually is. As a qualified fitness instructor and personal trainer, she got her start in modeling at age 20 when she moved to Melbourne. Obviously having a rocking bod, McMahon was featured in countless men's and fitness magazines overseas, and eventually started her own agency called White Tiger. Hungry for more, though, Stacey decided to give motorbike racing a try, and actively competes to this day. She is also a bodybuilder. So click ahead for more of this sexy, strong, blonde and busty model who can probably kick your ass.

Australian model Stacey McMahon is more than just a blonde, busty babe pretending to look tough for a photo shoot. She actually is. As a qualified fitness instructor and personal trainer, she got her start in modeling at age 20 when she moved to Melbourne. Obviously having a rocking bod, McMahon was featured in countless men's and fitness magazines overseas, and eventually started her own agency called White Tiger. Hungry for more, though, Stacey decided to give motorbike racing a try, and actively competes to this day. She is also a bodybuilder. So click ahead for more of this sexy, strong, blonde and busty model who can probably kick your ass.

Australian model Stacey McMahon is more than just a blonde, busty babe pretending to look tough for a photo shoot. She actually is. As a qualified fitness instructor and personal trainer, she got her start in modeling at age 20 when she moved to Melbourne. Obviously having a rocking bod, McMahon was featured in countless men's and fitness magazines overseas, and eventually started her own agency called White Tiger. Hungry for more, though, Stacey decided to give motorbike racing a try, and actively competes to this day. She is also a bodybuilder. So click ahead for more of this sexy, strong, blonde and busty model who can probably kick your ass.

"THE INTERNET WILL SOON... CATASTROPHICALLY COLLAPSE"

1995 was a big year for sweeping statements about the early Internet by networking professionals. Unlike Cliff Stoll, however, Bob Metcalfe wasn't content with denying that the Internet would ever be a useful place to do business.

Metcalfe, an electrical engineer widely credited with the invention of Ethernet technology, used his column in InfoWorld to argue against the idea that the Internet would just keep growing forever.

He stated, "I predict the Internet will soon go spectacularly supernova and in 1996 catastrophically collapse." It wasn't clear what the Internet "going supernova" would actually mean in a non-astrophysical context, but Metcalfe was so certain of it, he promised to eat his words if he was proven wrong.

In 1999, while addressing the sixth World Wide Web conference, he dutifully blended a copy of his article into a pulpy liquid and chugged it onstage, suggesting that while Metcalfe may have been a brilliant engineer, he never really understood how metaphors worked.

"THE Y2K PROBLEM IS THE ELECTRONIC EQUIVALENT OF THE EL NIÑO"

The Y2K or Millennium Bug had been a topic of discussion among computer scientists since 1985, when it became obvious that this whole computer thing wasn't just a passing fad and that we'd probably still be using them by January 1, 2000.

What was less obvious was exactly what would happen as a consequence of computers suddenly believing it was 1900 (and also forgetting it was a leap year) and that proved fertile ground for alarmists and opportunists of all stripes from survivalist suppliers eager to sell you a year's worth of canned chicken to John Hamre (the United States Deputy Secretary of Defense and the first to equate Y2K with that other terrifying thing from the 90s we've all forgotten about, El Niño).

In the end, the only visible consequence of the Y2K "crisis" was an NBC TV movie that was bad even by TV-movie standards.

"APPLE IS ALREADY DEAD"

Forecasting the death of Apple Computers is a sort of cottage industry in tech and business news. An artifact of its legendarily rocky run up until the return of messianic alpha CEO Steve Jobs.

Jobs' return didn't put an end to any of these predictions and his then-controversial i-products led to a new storm of articles about how insane anyone would be to design a computer without a floppy drive, or a music player that costs $300, or a telephone that some weirdo could browse the Internet on.

Even today, years after Jobs' death, TheStreet tech columnist referred to the company's recent stock option decisions in an article unequivocally titled "There's No Question Now: Apple is Dead."

While Apple has certainly fumbled badly under the guidance of CEO Tim Cook, it's hard to believe Americans will ever stop paying way too much money for shiny off-white lozenge-shaped tech products.

"THE AMERICANS HAVE NEED OF THE TELEPHONE, BUT WE DO NOT"

When Alexander Graham Bell became one of a surprising number of people who believed they invented the first successful telephone in 1876, he immediately set out to try to sell what was obviously one of the most important inventions of all time.

Surprisingly, that didn't work out so well. Western Union's telegraph division considered the phones so flawed that an internal memo stated "the device is of inherently no value to us." In 1878, Sir William Henry Preece of the British Post Office dismissed the telephone as yet another hare-brained Colonial scheme, claiming that any supposed benefit of the telephone to the Americans was moot as "we have plenty of messenger boys."

As a result, Bell was foiled in his attempts to sell off what turned out to be one of the most lucrative patents in history, while the British messenger boy industry entered a slow decline from which it has never really recovered.

"I DON'T THINK THERE WILL BE A WOMAN PRIME MINISTER IN MY LIFETIME"

While we're on the subject of dubious predictions and decisions made by the British, we should touch on Margaret Thatcher and her ironic 1973 appearance on BBC interview show, "Val meets the VIPs" as Minister of Education.

When the topic turned to women in government and whether or not it would be inherently "good" to see a female PM, Thatcher pessimistically ruled out the idea of a woman running the UK while she was still alive, while also emphasizing that she thought the PM's gender wasn't as important as whether or not it was the right person for the job.

In that same interview, when asked if she was given the chance to be the Prime Minister would she take it, Thatcher laughed it off. She said that she didn't consider herself experienced enough for the job-"before you could even think of being Prime Minister, you'd need to have done a good deal more jobs than [Minister of Education and Science].

Six years and a good deal more jobs later, she rode a Tory tide of votes into 10 Downing Street.

"STOCKS HAVE REACHED WHAT LOOKS LIKE A PERMANENTLY HIGH PLATEAU"

Considered by some to be one of the first "celebrity economists," Irving Fisher was committed to the idea that the market was inherently rational, efficient, and self-correcting, which lead to his infamous declaration that the 1929 stock market had reached its "permanently high plateau" three days before the global economy abruptly fell off said plateau.

Fisher spent the next few months assuring everyone who was still listening that a natural turnaround was just around the corner before giving up on that idea to promote the somewhat more acceptable theories of vegetarianism, alcohol prohibition, and eugenics.

Fisher's theories of debt deflation and neoclassical economics came back in a big way in the 1980s as a sort of corollary to the older and more experimentally sound theory that there was a sucker born every minute.

"I HAVE NOT THE SMALLEST MOLECULE OF FAITH IN AERIAL NAVIGATION OTHER THAN BALLOONING"

If you believed everything you read on the Internet, you would expect quotes from turn-of-the-century British scientist Lord Kelvin to make up something like half of this list, and you'd also be confused as to why he was so respected when apparently every single prediction he ever made was wrong.

While Kelvin was in fact responsible for writing off heavier-than-air aviation less than a decade before the Wright Brothers' first flight, the belief that he proclaimed that "there is nothing new to be discovered in physics" in 1900 is almost certainly false.

In fact, some of his work at the time is now regarded as an early indicator of the belief that physics needed to move beyond the classical model, which Kelvin regarded as insufficient for explaining heat and light.

On the other hand, he also believed the Earth had only 400 years of breathable oxygen remaining, so...nobody's perfect.

"OCTOBER 21, 2011 WILL BE THE FINAL DAY OF THIS EARTH'S EXISTENCE"

Predicting (and profiting from) the Rapture based on Biblical analysis, numerology, or just getting a wild hair has been a Christian tradition for almost as long as the religion itself has existed.

Harold Camping and his Family Radio church/ministry/business are only the most recent and most visible of a long line of hucksters. Like many people in the Rapture business, Camping managed to survive what many would think would be a major failure with no significant loss of followers or revenue.

His initial date of September 6 1994 for the Apocalypse came and went, and years later he and Family Radio were able to comfortably ignore his early public failure.

His May 21, 2011 deadline, however, was much firmer and delivered to a larger audience, such that crowds of people were surrounding his headquarters as the date came and went.

Camping cooked up a handy explanation: the Judgment Day of May 21 was more of the spiritual sort of judgment rather than the more cinematic apocalyptic firestorm judgment, and the real big show would start up on October 21 of that same year.

Incredibly, many of his listeners stayed in the flock, forsaking jobs, families, and fulfilling lives, and as the new deadline passed with no word from Family Radio reporters were there to capture their heartbreak.

That finally seemed to do the trick, as Camping retired from his speaking performances and today claims that seeking to determine the exact date of the Rapture is "sinful."

Bathrooms

Oh lord, good luck trying to take a dump in a 3x2 box of plastic, complete with urine sprayed by the guy who missed the mark because of turbulence.

Airplane food

Looks like a slab of salmon getting swallowed by crusted mashed potatoes, while lone pieces of broccoli and carrot attempt to escape the angry starch mass. Oh, and that'll be $8.50.

Elbow and shoulder space

Who doesn't enjoy a four hour passive aggressive war for the elbow rest and shoulder space? If your counterpart gets the best of you, that means you've got to (1) fold our arms or (2) try to lock your elbow onto the inside of the elbow rest. Reclaim position when he goes to the bathroom, then cry inside.

Holding in farts

More science: doctors recommend letting it rip if your body is telling you it needs to release some gas. Maybe you're still reluctant. That's your choice. This cartoon depicts the alternate scenario, where everyone drops stink bombs and fills the cabin with a horrific cloud of broken wind. Enjoy your meal.

Boarding the plane

Even with the advent of "boarding zones," passengers become deranged lunatics when attendants announce it's time to line up. Just chill. There will be time enough to squeeze into your 2x2 plot of discomfort.

Carry on baggages

Everyone wants to avoid checked bag fees, leading to carry-on monstrosities that simply don't fit in those overhead compartments. Maybe you've had the pleasure of getting whacked with a carry-on beast while boarding. Silver lining is that shoving bags into tiny spaces makes a good triceps workout.

Germs, sickness

This is a fact: airplanes breed germs. In water, seat pockets, tray tables, meals (food poisoning!), pillows, blankets and bathrooms. Open up wide and let this flight attendant sanitize your face.

The chatty neighbor

You grab a magazine, put on headphones, answer in one word sentences, but Chatty McChatterson still wants to badger you with questions or unload a wave of bullshit. If all else fails, pretend to sleep, or punch the person in the face and deal with assault charges later.

Delays and cancellations

Oh, you're going to miss that wedding? An appointment? Interview? Sorry! 60 percent of the time flights are delayed every time.

Sleeping in terminals

You can't lay across seats because of those damn dividers, so your next best option is the floor, next to the guy with smelly feet.

Expensive terminal food

Maybe you breezed through security and have time to kill, or have a lengthy layover. You're hungry. How about a $12 turkey sandwich? No? Enjoy some $4 peanuts. Food is priced like a baseball game but the only entertainment is watching people trip at the end of moving walkways.

Back pain

The fat man in suspenders appears comfortable but he and the red-toed sucker behind him will ache later with back stiffness, as will dozens others, owing to hours spent in a sedentary position in crappy chairs. Pack some Advil.

Turbulence

Hey, it's the nature of air travel, but still terribly alarming when the large tube aluminum starts shaking back, forth, up and down. It's only less of a concern if your pill-popping friend donated an Ambien to knock out.

Lack of space

Remember the portly fellow who leaned back? Well here's a more technical depiction of that scenario. Notice in the first frame that the tall man has to perform a yoga move just to sit down; in the second frame, Professor Plum ruins the other man's day when he abruptly reclines, spilling coffee. In the third frame (not pictured), an attractive woman laughs at the wet spot on the tall man's crotch.

Charges for entertainment

Credit airlines for devising a better diversion than a mediocre in-flight movies, but those swill merchants will require you to pay upwards of $8.00 for to use the mini screens.

Charges for pillows and blankets

You know, the ones infested with germs. Yeah, that'll cost you, too, on American Airlines, Virgin and others. Thanks, Richard Branson.

Lost luggage

That $50 checked bag fee sometimes comes with a complementary lost or damaged luggage. Sweet. Do you see your bag in this massive pile of lost bags? Of course not, because your suitcase was re-routed to Cambodia.

Someone else filled out the crossword puzzle in the magazine

Oh the humanity! Punishment for refusing to pay for the TV.