by Brett Smiley
The first step to cleaning out your Costanza wallet is admitting you have a problem hoarding receipts, business and credit cards, maybe even candy.
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In case you're unfamiliar with the term "Costanza Wallet," it refers to Seinfeld's George Costanza, who famously stashed Irish money, random gift cards, sugar packets and other "important things" in his slab of leather, proclaiming, "I need everything in this wallet!"
Yet it caused him back pain, required two hands to close, was laborious to carry around and once exploded. Yeah, exploded. Are you, too, attached to your "organizer, secretary and friend," as George dubbed it?
I was once. I guess I'm still in rehab: My wallet's trimmed down but still contains items of questionable importance. But I know I have a problem, and generally how to fix it. Join me for this wallet therapy session -- for you, a friend or a loved one.
1. Credit Cards
I have a ton of plastic in my now 5-year-old brown wallet that's crafted from the finest inexpensive leather. But seriously -- I'm packing four credit cards right now, one that I use regularly, two that I use for different rewards programs, and one for "an emergency" in case all![]()
else fails. I used to carry many more; refer to the picture (at right) of all the credit cards I've used over the past several years, which stack to about the height of a Michael Connelly novel plus "Animal Farm." They now reside in a filing cabinet, and I'm OK with that. Begin this process by expelling the cards you no longer use on at least a semi-regular basis.
2. Receipts
It's there in case you need to return something or submit an expense or want a scrap to scribble on? Those are wonderful yet bullsh*t reasons to turn your wallet into a paper graveyard. Repeat after me: Put them in a folder. This includes bank slips and anything else that documents are transaction that will only cost you back pain.
3. Pictures
Yes, you're a sentimental type, but don't your loved ones want to free you of your hoarding problem? Chances are you already have tons of pictures on your phone -- that other hulking object in your other pocket. Even if you can't fathom shedding the pictures, limit yourself to just a couple and ditch that plastic lining that might have come with your leather.
4. Expired Cards
Certain organizations like AAA or health insurers issue membership cards on an annual basis. Have you extricated the 2011 and 2012 editions? What is wrong with you? Do it.
5. Business Cards
Remember the folder from our credit card exercise? Make another folder or envelope for cards from business associates, other people you've met and others you may want to connect with in the future. After all, you ought to store that information in your phone once you exchange cards. The only exception here is if you've acquired a novelty card such as the one pictured here from McBirney Auto Service, LTD. where they tame tigers and empty bars, and quell uprisings, or this one (via reddit). That's just cool to have and show.
6. Coins
C'mon. Congress might eliminate pennies soon anyway.
7. Miscellaneous
Here's the catch-all for sugar packets, playing cards, coupons, anything expired or illegible, condoms, candy, crayons... anything bizarre or useless. We're quite confident you can replace these items at a later date if you need.
8. Random Cards You Don't Use Anymore
For example, a membership card to Publix or Pathmark or a grocery store where you no longer shop, for whatever reason. The video store that closed? No longer live near a Men's Wearhouse? Maybe you dread that heartache of stumbling into ACME store, but without the card! They can probably look up your number or let you use a store card if you ask. Also, if you've got a mini card on your keychain, lose the one in the wallet.
9. Social Security Card
This won't save you much space but will potentially spare you identify theft. You should have your social security number memorized. Regardless whether you do or not, it's extremely unwise to carry the card around; you'll make it quite easy for someone to apply for credit cards in your name or otherwise cause you a monumental and potentially long-term headache. Don't invite that drama.
10. Foreign Currency
Unless you're traveling to the destination where you can actually use the money. Also disregard if you're carrying the Vietnamese đồng, because we will never discourage you to dispose of your dong.
Congratulations, friends. By now, your wallet ought to be a lot lighter, much more manageable, and at least 50% less likely to explode. Repeat as necessary. Don't let this happen to you.
![]()
The first step to cleaning out your Costanza wallet is admitting you have a problem hoarding receipts, business and credit cards, maybe even candy.
In case you're unfamiliar with the term "Costanza Wallet," it refers to Seinfeld's George Costanza, who famously stashed Irish money, random gift cards, sugar packets and other "important things" in his slab of leather, proclaiming, "I need everything in this wallet!"
Yet it caused him back pain, required two hands to close, was laborious to carry around and once exploded. Yeah, exploded. Are you, too, attached to your "organizer, secretary and friend," as George dubbed it?
I was once. I guess I'm still in rehab: My wallet's trimmed down but still contains items of questionable importance. But I know I have a problem, and generally how to fix it. Join me for this wallet therapy session -- for you, a friend or a loved one.
1. Credit Cards
I have a ton of plastic in my now 5-year-old brown wallet that's crafted from the finest inexpensive leather. But seriously -- I'm packing four credit cards right now, one that I use regularly, two that I use for different rewards programs, and one for "an emergency" in case all
else fails. I used to carry many more; refer to the picture (at right) of all the credit cards I've used over the past several years, which stack to about the height of a Michael Connelly novel plus "Animal Farm." They now reside in a filing cabinet, and I'm OK with that. Begin this process by expelling the cards you no longer use on at least a semi-regular basis.2. Receipts
It's there in case you need to return something or submit an expense or want a scrap to scribble on? Those are wonderful yet bullsh*t reasons to turn your wallet into a paper graveyard. Repeat after me: Put them in a folder. This includes bank slips and anything else that documents are transaction that will only cost you back pain.
3. Pictures
Yes, you're a sentimental type, but don't your loved ones want to free you of your hoarding problem? Chances are you already have tons of pictures on your phone -- that other hulking object in your other pocket. Even if you can't fathom shedding the pictures, limit yourself to just a couple and ditch that plastic lining that might have come with your leather.
4. Expired Cards
Certain organizations like AAA or health insurers issue membership cards on an annual basis. Have you extricated the 2011 and 2012 editions? What is wrong with you? Do it.
5. Business Cards
Remember the folder from our credit card exercise? Make another folder or envelope for cards from business associates, other people you've met and others you may want to connect with in the future. After all, you ought to store that information in your phone once you exchange cards. The only exception here is if you've acquired a novelty card such as the one pictured here from McBirney Auto Service, LTD. where they tame tigers and empty bars, and quell uprisings, or this one (via reddit). That's just cool to have and show.
6. Coins
C'mon. Congress might eliminate pennies soon anyway.
7. Miscellaneous
Here's the catch-all for sugar packets, playing cards, coupons, anything expired or illegible, condoms, candy, crayons... anything bizarre or useless. We're quite confident you can replace these items at a later date if you need.
8. Random Cards You Don't Use Anymore
For example, a membership card to Publix or Pathmark or a grocery store where you no longer shop, for whatever reason. The video store that closed? No longer live near a Men's Wearhouse? Maybe you dread that heartache of stumbling into ACME store, but without the card! They can probably look up your number or let you use a store card if you ask. Also, if you've got a mini card on your keychain, lose the one in the wallet.
9. Social Security Card
This won't save you much space but will potentially spare you identify theft. You should have your social security number memorized. Regardless whether you do or not, it's extremely unwise to carry the card around; you'll make it quite easy for someone to apply for credit cards in your name or otherwise cause you a monumental and potentially long-term headache. Don't invite that drama.
10. Foreign Currency
Unless you're traveling to the destination where you can actually use the money. Also disregard if you're carrying the Vietnamese đồng, because we will never discourage you to dispose of your dong.
Congratulations, friends. By now, your wallet ought to be a lot lighter, much more manageable, and at least 50% less likely to explode. Repeat as necessary. Don't let this happen to you.
