We recently posted a list of reasons why you should be murdered. In none of those cases would the general reason -- because you're an a**hole -- absolve a murder charge. Still, there is no denying most of those people committing various acts of dickishness would not be missed.
However... it's not all bad out there. Every day, strangers treat fellow strangers with kindness and respect. A common man helping his brother. Don't buy it? Look harder. Here's an ode to all those people. People I'd like to hug...but won't because hugging strangers would be awkward.
![why i want to hug you, held elevator]()
Because you held the elevator door for me
You saw me struggling with a dozen grocery bags or two suitcases and my dog's leash in one hand. Sure I was about 10-20 strides away, but you pressed the "door open" button, made eye contact, and let me know that you were going nowhere without me. I may have tried to pick up my pace as an obvious signal of my appreciation, prompting you to say, "No rush." Then it got even better. "What floor?" you asked. My, what service! I'll go to any floor with you, friend. Let's just hang out a bit longer. But I exited the friendship machine at my floor, hoping to one day save you 45 seconds in the lobby.
![why i want to hug you, let me in traffic]()
Because you let me enter a stream of traffic
There's no traffic signal on this road and it's rush hour, meaning a constant flow of cars, zero of them willing to let me get in line even though I've idled here for nearly three minutes. I even tried to nudge out once but nearly got clipped by some prick. That's until you saw me, in my moment of need. You pressed down the break and you motioned to me. "Go ahead." So I went. At last. I gave you the wave of appreciation, and you returned with a wave of appreciation for my wave of appreciation.
![why i want to hug you, good customer service]()
Because you gave me excellent customer service
Your company indisputably disserved me or failed to live up to a promise. I called, and I was prepared to take out my frustration on you. But you heard my complaint. You made no sigh of annoyance. You didn't attempt to defend the misdeed or explain. You just apologized, and immediately processed a refund. You were so damn charming I even felt bad for approaching the conversation with my indignant "I am customer! Value me!" voice.
![why i want to hug you, gave a foul ball to a toddler]()
Because you caught a baseball and gave it to a kid
Grown men don't bring gloves to a baseball game but that's beside the point. You caught a foul ball with your bare hands! Good for you. You're there with a couple buddies and noticed that nearby, a father was sitting with his son or daughter. Sure it would have been nice to place the trophy on the desk at your office, but you know that kid would treasure the souvenir, the kind that money can't buy -- a game used, red-laced ball gripped by a pro. So you give it to the kid. Bless your soul.
![why i want to hug you, you let me in front at the grocery store]()
Because you let me pass in line at the grocery store
I only had a couple items. Some milk, eggs, condoms. Whatever. Meanwhile you were packing a full cart of food pyramid. Instead of pretending I didn't exist behind you with my measly haul that would take a cashier less than 30 seconds to ring up, you said, "Why don't you go ahead?" Well a good day to you, kind sir or madam! I'll take my things and shimmy up and rush out of here in a flash! Enjoy your nine-course feast tonight!
![why i want to hug you, crowded bus seat]()
Because you gave up your seat on public transport for an elderly or disabled person or a pregnant woman
In any case, it's someone who ought to be seated during our voyage on the bus, subway or crowded train. You didn't hide behind a newspaper like the prick two aisles ahead. You didn't stubbornly refuse to give up your quest to defeat Angry Birds, a task made much more difficult when standing. You observed someone in need, and you offered your seat to that person. Importantly, you didn't say, "Do you want to sit here?," inviting that person to decline or couching the offer as a desire. No no. You got up, and declared, "Here, take my seat."
![why i want to hug you, crowded bar]()
Because you made room for me at a crowded bar
I applauded the way you've boxed out three other dudes who are milling about the bar with no immediate intention of buying another drink, who were trying to maintain position for a return. To the left there was a couple others angling for a beer. You saw that I needed a cold one. I was getting impatient. I didn't know the bartender. After securing your drink, you gestured, "Want to get in here?" You're damn right! Cheers to you and may the heavens rain down upon your a bounty of hops and barley until you're drunk with good fortune.
![why i want to hug you, mailed my lost wallet]()
Because you mailed my lost wallet to me
You went above and beyond the call of duty. In fact nobody called you because my f*cking wallet was missing, I was panicking, and I had no way of reaching you. Unfortunately I had to cancel my credit cards. But today you restored my faith in the kindness of man. I received a package containing, yep, my wallet. I had already played Journey's "Separate Ways" after losing my 6-year-old slab of leather, but here it is, with the same amount of cash inside that it had before. I would have sent you postage but you didn't even write a return address; you didn't even want the recognition. Just know that this fist pump was for you.
![why i want to hug you, helped me with my luggage]()
Because you helped someone with luggage in overhead on plane
Not even my luggage, but the man, woman or child's who needed assistance. Rather than nudging past this person, you stepped in, grabbed that heavy or stubborn object, seamlessly moved it to the floor as all of us watching from behind marveled at your strength and act of chivarly. Sure, I wouldn't have minded that glory, but today is your day.
![why i want to hug you, dropped something]()
Because you saw me drop something and called my attention
Sure you're not quite as remarkable as the guy who mailed me my lost wallet, but when opportunity to be great knocked, you were there to answer. I was walking along a busy sidewalk, pulled my cell phone from the a pocket, and out flipped my keys! Oh boy. Like a hawk, you spotted the keys laying hopelessly on the ground, rushed towards them, secured the keys and began running toward me, exclaiming, "Hey! Hey, your keys!" Why? I never would have known until it might have been too late. I would have panicked. But you were there for me.
Because you got laid and celebrated with all of us
![]()
However... it's not all bad out there. Every day, strangers treat fellow strangers with kindness and respect. A common man helping his brother. Don't buy it? Look harder. Here's an ode to all those people. People I'd like to hug...but won't because hugging strangers would be awkward.
Because you held the elevator door for meYou saw me struggling with a dozen grocery bags or two suitcases and my dog's leash in one hand. Sure I was about 10-20 strides away, but you pressed the "door open" button, made eye contact, and let me know that you were going nowhere without me. I may have tried to pick up my pace as an obvious signal of my appreciation, prompting you to say, "No rush." Then it got even better. "What floor?" you asked. My, what service! I'll go to any floor with you, friend. Let's just hang out a bit longer. But I exited the friendship machine at my floor, hoping to one day save you 45 seconds in the lobby.
Because you let me enter a stream of trafficThere's no traffic signal on this road and it's rush hour, meaning a constant flow of cars, zero of them willing to let me get in line even though I've idled here for nearly three minutes. I even tried to nudge out once but nearly got clipped by some prick. That's until you saw me, in my moment of need. You pressed down the break and you motioned to me. "Go ahead." So I went. At last. I gave you the wave of appreciation, and you returned with a wave of appreciation for my wave of appreciation.
Because you gave me excellent customer serviceYour company indisputably disserved me or failed to live up to a promise. I called, and I was prepared to take out my frustration on you. But you heard my complaint. You made no sigh of annoyance. You didn't attempt to defend the misdeed or explain. You just apologized, and immediately processed a refund. You were so damn charming I even felt bad for approaching the conversation with my indignant "I am customer! Value me!" voice.
Because you caught a baseball and gave it to a kidGrown men don't bring gloves to a baseball game but that's beside the point. You caught a foul ball with your bare hands! Good for you. You're there with a couple buddies and noticed that nearby, a father was sitting with his son or daughter. Sure it would have been nice to place the trophy on the desk at your office, but you know that kid would treasure the souvenir, the kind that money can't buy -- a game used, red-laced ball gripped by a pro. So you give it to the kid. Bless your soul.
Because you let me pass in line at the grocery storeI only had a couple items. Some milk, eggs, condoms. Whatever. Meanwhile you were packing a full cart of food pyramid. Instead of pretending I didn't exist behind you with my measly haul that would take a cashier less than 30 seconds to ring up, you said, "Why don't you go ahead?" Well a good day to you, kind sir or madam! I'll take my things and shimmy up and rush out of here in a flash! Enjoy your nine-course feast tonight!
Because you gave up your seat on public transport for an elderly or disabled person or a pregnant womanIn any case, it's someone who ought to be seated during our voyage on the bus, subway or crowded train. You didn't hide behind a newspaper like the prick two aisles ahead. You didn't stubbornly refuse to give up your quest to defeat Angry Birds, a task made much more difficult when standing. You observed someone in need, and you offered your seat to that person. Importantly, you didn't say, "Do you want to sit here?," inviting that person to decline or couching the offer as a desire. No no. You got up, and declared, "Here, take my seat."
Because you made room for me at a crowded barI applauded the way you've boxed out three other dudes who are milling about the bar with no immediate intention of buying another drink, who were trying to maintain position for a return. To the left there was a couple others angling for a beer. You saw that I needed a cold one. I was getting impatient. I didn't know the bartender. After securing your drink, you gestured, "Want to get in here?" You're damn right! Cheers to you and may the heavens rain down upon your a bounty of hops and barley until you're drunk with good fortune.
Because you mailed my lost wallet to meYou went above and beyond the call of duty. In fact nobody called you because my f*cking wallet was missing, I was panicking, and I had no way of reaching you. Unfortunately I had to cancel my credit cards. But today you restored my faith in the kindness of man. I received a package containing, yep, my wallet. I had already played Journey's "Separate Ways" after losing my 6-year-old slab of leather, but here it is, with the same amount of cash inside that it had before. I would have sent you postage but you didn't even write a return address; you didn't even want the recognition. Just know that this fist pump was for you.
Because you helped someone with luggage in overhead on planeNot even my luggage, but the man, woman or child's who needed assistance. Rather than nudging past this person, you stepped in, grabbed that heavy or stubborn object, seamlessly moved it to the floor as all of us watching from behind marveled at your strength and act of chivarly. Sure, I wouldn't have minded that glory, but today is your day.
Because you saw me drop something and called my attention Sure you're not quite as remarkable as the guy who mailed me my lost wallet, but when opportunity to be great knocked, you were there to answer. I was walking along a busy sidewalk, pulled my cell phone from the a pocket, and out flipped my keys! Oh boy. Like a hawk, you spotted the keys laying hopelessly on the ground, rushed towards them, secured the keys and began running toward me, exclaiming, "Hey! Hey, your keys!" Why? I never would have known until it might have been too late. I would have panicked. But you were there for me.
Because you got laid and celebrated with all of us
