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By Linette Lopez
Since fall is here and that back-to-school feeling is in the air, it's time for a wardrobe revamp.
And that doesn't just mean getting items that will keep your style fresh, that means getting rid of items that make your style crusty and tired.
Not sure what those items are, guys? We're happy to help.
This is a list of items that no man should wear anymore. They have no place in your closet and in fact shouldn't even be brought out for Halloween.
Unless you're dressing like Kenny Powers, in which case live the night and then put it away. Forever.
First up...
Square toed shoes
We're not sure when these were in style, but they now seem to occupy this vortex where fashion goes into a zombified state and continues to live on after death. Help us make it stop.
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Wikipedia2 of 12
Cargo everything
If you don't have important things to put in your pockets - all your pockets - do not wear these. The legs are usually unfashionably wide anyway. This goes for shorts and pants.
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Oversized belts
See Jamie's belt? Do not wear Jamie's belt.
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Dad jeans
If you are a dad that's really still not an excuse. You can do better.
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flickr: lopez49495 of 12
Board short swim trunks
No one should wear trunks this long anymore guys. And you should absolutely not have pockets that weigh your shorts down and turn them into super low riders.
Get a decent pair of swim trunks that fit around the waist and hit just above the knee.
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flickr: Brett L.6 of 12
Trucker hats and beaded necklaces
Since these have been put together so artfully in this picture, we'll address them both at once. Trucker hats were popular for a dark, thankfully brief period in American culture. We can all forget that now and move on if we all do it together.
As for beaded necklaces, they're not for grown-ups... period.
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Fedoras
It is highly, highly unlikely that you can pull off a fedora. If you really think you can wear one, ask multiple people (some who love you, some who don't) if you're right.
You're going to need multiple okays.
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Cutoff shirts
No you cannot wear your cutoff shirt to the gym. It still looks ridiculous.
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flickr: single stitches9 of 12
Beanie hats
Beanie hats are for adorable children and inclement weather. They are not a hat that an adult male should wear indoors.
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flickr: Lori Ann10 of 12
Hemp jewelry
If you absolutely must keep your hemp jewelry consider it a costume piece only to be worn when you take your little brother to his first Dark Star Orchestra concert.
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Abercrombie's Facebook page11 of 12
Graphic tees
First off, whatever it says, it's probably not that funny.
And, unless you belong to a specific subset of hipsters (fine if that's what you're going for), you look like a child.
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Reflective/statement sunglasses
You are not Robocop.
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