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However fuzzy our memory - or maybe it's just how pixelated these old commercials are - we remember with a certain fondness several nostalgic commercials from our childhood. And even though commercials today aren't quite the same, these simple pleasures will be burned in our brains even when we lose our minds.
Tootsie Pops
One of the first to come to mind poses the question that plagued our adolescence. Oh, who are we kidding? We still wake up every morning wondering how many damn licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop. The world truly may never know.
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Bubble Tape
The wacky illustrations should look familiar almost immediately, if not the transvestite bus driver. If ever there was a rebellious bubble gum, it was Bubble Tape.
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Toys "R" Us
This theme song for refusing to grow up would stick with the people who would later find it difficult to put down their toys and get a real job, but dammit this jingle makes me want to join in.
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Corn Pops
The "Jaws" theme song mixed with this stoner chick's need for Corn Pops rings a familiar bell to most childhoods. Why was mother always misplacing the cereal, anyway? Who's the stoner here?
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Butterfinger feat. The Simpsons
This is classic Bart and Homer, but we can't say we didn't have the same exact situation going on at home, too.
Related: The 100 Greatest Quotes From 'The Simpsons'
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Juicy Fruit
Is it me or are there a lot of sexual innuendos here? Also, we can't very well condone skiing with gum in your mouth as it is a choking hazard. Juicy Fruit is more for couch dwellers, so let's shoot that ad next time, guys.
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Burger King Kid's Club
It was always exciting to see Kid Vid unveil the latest toys to come with kid's meals at Burger King. Nowadays, we just stay away because of the sodium and fat content, not to mention the calorie count. Being an adult sucks.
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My Buddy
The toy for boys who couldn't make friends, My Buddy was just one step above Invisible Fred in the room. Years later, the jingle is still catchy, but that doll you used to call a friend just looks beyond creepy.
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Fruit Stripe Gum
It's difficult to understand why this gum was/still is so popular. And I think Peter Griffin sums up why:
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Skip It
Another toy for the kid without friends, maybe "nostalgic" isn't as good a term as "irremovable noise stuck in my head." Great toy if you wanted to trip and face-plant on the concrete.
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Crocodile Mile
A one-up in both product and theme song to the Slip 'N Slide, Crocodile Mile was what drove the girls crazy back in the day.
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Big Red
Man, they just don't make gum commercials like they used to. Even though Big Red is disgusting, I still chew it every now and then to evoke old memories of trying (and failing) to kiss a little longer.
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Operation
I always felt bad for this guy who needed a major surgery and was being operated on by children who clearly have no medical training. Can you say "malpractice lawsuit?"
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Doublemint
This is the ad campaign that taught most young men about how hot the idea of twins was. From this moment on, we weren't interested unless there were two of them.
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Domino's' The Noid
Back in these days, the idea of eating Domino's was lower on the list of childhood desires than let's say, going to Chuck E. Cheese's, but whenever you did it was a great feeling to stick it to the Noid.
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Gak
Another rebellious activity according to someone who clearly never did a rebellious thing in their life, Gak was that foul-smelling blob that made fart noises in the car. At least, we think that's what that was.
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Cocoa Puffs
Did this guy ever eat anything other than Cocoa Puffs? That's a pretty unhealthy diet to have. He's lucky he isn't lactose intolerant, because those things probably aren't as good with soy milk.
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Sunny D
Here's the one you've been waiting to see. You knew it was coming. I still prefer the purple stuff.
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Lite-Brite
The beautiful song mixed with brightly colored designs only served to piss us off when we couldn't figure out how to make anything other than a fucking smiley face. And if your grandma ever came over and designed a clown to glow brightly in our bedrooms at night, she was one evil bitch.
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Fruit Loops
Every young boy's greatest fear coming to life right here. Can't say it's ever really happened, but it's bound to be what takes over this country, big blue British-sounding birds.
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Folgers
Every kid knew that this jingle was complete bullshit. There was no best part of waking up. However, we'd all sing along if we heard the commercial later in the day.
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Micro Machines
If you didn't try to talk like the Micro Machines guy at least once a day growing up, then you are probably unemployed today (I have no proof to back this up).
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The Energizer Bunny
And finally, the badass pink bunny who went where he wanted, whenever the F he wanted (and is still going and going and going).