Stupid Things People Have Done For Attention

2. Balloon Boy

People craving attention are creative, that's for sure. In 2009, in Fort Collins, Colorado, Richard and Mayumi Heene claimed their six-year-old son Falcon was attached to a helium-filled balloon that floated away. (Who names their child Falcon? Red flag alert!) The authorities began a manhunt, finding the depleted balloon near the Denver Airport, but no boy. Suspicions arose over the veracity of the story, and the family came clean. Richard plead guilty and was sentenced to 90 days in jail, while Mayumi was sentenced to 20 days of weekend jail. They also were ordered to pay $36,000 in restitution. Why'd they do it? To better market themselves for a reality show. 

3. Shoot Yourself

Writing is a tough business: tons of rejection, even less money and a boatload of frustration. In 2012, Ray Dolin was an author working on a book about the kindness of strangers when he was shot by one. But after getting caught in a lie, Ray made a full confession. He shot himself as a desperate act of self-promotion. Ernest Hemingway just gave himself a face-palm.

4. Shoot Someone Else

The things we do for love. In 1981, John Hinckley, Jr. tried to assassinate President Reagan outside the Hilton Hotel in Washington, D.C. He wounded a police officer, a Secret Service agent, and critically wounded press secretary James Brady. Reagan took a bullet that ricocheted from off his limousine. Why did Hinckley do it? For a woman. One famous woman. The actress Jodie Foster. Like the Shania Twain song, Jodie's probable response was: "That don't impress me much."

5. Make Up a Crazy Story

As reported by cbsnews.com, in 2002, Memphis Medical Examiner, Dr. O.C. Smith, was assaulted by an unseen assailant. Smith was blinded with lye, dragged down a flight of stairs and then tied up with barbed wire, shackled in a crucifixion position, complete with a barbed crown-of-thorns. And the piece de resistance? The assailant glued a bomb to Smith's chest and said, "Push it, pull it, twist it and you die. Welcome to death row."

Turns out Smith staged the attack himself in another example of "factitious victimization disorder" in an attempt to gain attention and sympathy. Smith has since resigned. What makes the case even worse? This is a medical examiner "who gave key testimony in hundreds, if not thousands, of criminal cases...and had severe mental problems" (memphisflyer.com). I sense many, many appeals from people behind bars.

6. Streak During a Televised Event

Whether it's the infamous streaker from the 1974 Academy Awards, Robert Opal, who triggered David Niven's response, "Isn't it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off his clothes and showing his shortcomings?" or more recently, in May of this year, a streaker who ran onto the field at Busch Stadium during a Cardinals-Phillies game, the species humanus streakerus seeks attention and lots of it.

7. Extreme Plastic Surgery

We're not talking the "normal" nips, tucks and implants that thousands of people go under the knife for each year. Vanity has its place. We're talking a level of plastic surgery that is Boss Level. Why else would these people get these procedures if not to attract your stares?

8. Lie About a Disease

Teresa Milbrandt wins the 2002 "Worst Mother of the Year" Award. She faked her daughter's terminal cancer to swindle money. Police said, to make the cancer look believable, Teresa shaved the girl's hair, gave her sleeping pills, made her wear a protective mask and put her in counseling to prepare for death. When the scheme came to light, it landed Teresa in prison for 6 and ½ years. In 2010, Teresa met with the law again when she was accused of using forged prescriptions. Some people never learn.

9. Acid in the Face

In 2010, Bethany Storro, then a 28-year-old woman, said a stranger approached her outside a Starbucks in Vancouver, Canada, said "Hey, pretty girl, do you want to drink this?" and threw a cup of acid into her face, causing severe burns. She would've been blinded if not for her sunglasses. After police became suspicious, she came clean and admitted she threw acid into her own face. The big question is why?

Psychologists call it "false victimization," where people injure themselves in order to get sympathy or attention from others.  Said forensic psychologist, Frank Colistro, "Instantly they become very important. They become the center of attention and that feels real good...they usually are pretty needy people who are searching for that." And you thought your girlfriend was needy?