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Twitter1 of 20Another week, another batch of inappropriately hilarious tweets compiled just for you. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with them yourself. They'll think you're hilarious, but inside you'll be cold and dead.
Follow @robfee on Twitter, and check out his bestselling comedy album, "Grape Stomp," on iTunes.
Every woman has her date bra and her fat pants and her crying shirt and her murder wig and her courtroom brooch.
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Twitter2 of 20I always cry when I see a dog with three legs because I only have two legs.
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Twitter3 of 20How did we all figuring out that blowing into Nintendo cartridges worked pre-internet? We were total little kid badasses in the 80s..
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Twitter4 of 20Hey you guys sorry I know this is suuuuper last minute but can any of you be my black Kate Moss tonight??
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Twitter5 of 20My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to Google headquarters and ask them shit in person.
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Clik here to view.Twitter7 of 20Saw a Vespa crash into a Toyota Prius today. There was glitter everywhere.
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Clik here to view.Twitter8 of 20If I worked at a pizza place I would use pepperoni to spell out "Marry me?" on pizzas all the time just to make things awkward for couples.
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Clik here to view.Twitter9 of 20You know you're a whore when you're fat and popular.
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Clik here to view.Twitter10 of 20I swear the next person who pisses me off will find out very quickly that my threats are empty.
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Clik here to view.Twitter11 of 20Happy 3rd Birthday, Texaco hotdog on the far left roller!
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Clik here to view.Twitter12 of 20Don't stare at me during sex! I don't know you!
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Clik here to view.Twitter13 of 20When the battery life on my phone turns to 20% I know exactly how the captain of the Titanic must have felt upon impact.
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Clik here to view.Twitter15 of 20Hey mom, thanks for sending me that frightening email about how ponytails are handles for rapists. Now I'm scared of my own hair.
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Clik here to view.Twitter16 of 20Kill him, he's different! - History
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Clik here to view.Twitter17 of 20The White Stripes are teaming up with The Black Keys to form A Piano.
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Clik here to view.Twitter18 of 20"I'm a little bitch who misses his parents." - Batman
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Clik here to view.Twitter19 of 20Swimming is pretty fun for an activity where all you do is just not let yourself die.
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Clik here to view.Twitter20 of 20Next: Last Week's Hilarious TweetsYour vagina should not be lower than the hem of your shorts.
