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It's a well-known fact that even some of the world's greatest men are stunted when it comes to the kitchen. Lots of stuff can happen in this little space and without the proper guidance, a man may end the evening before it begins via his missing finger in her soup. So lets avoid tragedy and learn 10 simple ways to cook like a man for a lady, because us men need every edge we can get to keep the women satisfied with all of our shortcomings.
1. Smooth Breakfast
Start the day on a good note with your gal, whether she's your lady of many years or the one girl crazy enough to go home with you last night. Keep it simple but refreshing with a small, light portion of red potatoes, eggs over easy and turkey bacon.
Preheat and add turkey bacon to the oven first, and it should be done around the same time as your eggs and potatoes. The potatoes you'll boil in a pot on the stove until they're easily penetrable with a fork, then drained and added to a skillet, which is where you sauté little slivers of sweet peppers and onion while the potatoes were boiling.
On low heat, season the potatoes and cook until they're light brown, borderline hash browns. Then, quickly and separately fry an egg, over easy. Place the potatoes & peppers on a plate, then toss the egg on top so the yolk can sexily drip over the potatoes.
If you have any energy left for a smoothie, simply pick two to three fruits (strawberries, peaches and bananas are great) and toss in a blender, add yogurt, honey and a splash of milk. If this doesn't make her happy, bail immediately.
Ingredients (for two servings):
2-3 red potatoes (cleaned)
1 bell or sweet pepper
1/2 onion
2 eggs
6 strips turkey bacon
8-10 strawberries
1 peach
1 banana
2 servings yogurt
1 tsp honey
¼ cup milk -
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2. Grilled Rosemary Ham & Cheese
Sounds fancy, but it's quite simple and makes a good afternoon lunch or late night drunk snack. Make this on the stove, just like a grilled cheese, by lightly buttering two pieces of bread, only add garlic salt to each, as well.
While the cheese melts on top of one piece, place ham sprinkled in rosemary seasoning on the skillet to warm it up. Once the ham is hot, add it on top of the cheese and place the other slice on top (cooked side facing out). Continue to cook both sides until the bread is golden brown, or until she yells at you to quit burning her food.
Ingredients (for one serving):
2 slices bread
3 slices ham
1 tbsp butter
1-2 slices cheese
Rosemary seasoning
Garlic salt -
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3. Mexican Fiesta
It doesn't really matter how you organize it - whether it's nachos, tacos or burritos - Mexican night is always a hit. It's easy, too, even if you're a red-blooded American.
The main ingredients in Mexican food are typically the same, but the form that it takes can be whatever you wish at the moment. If you're in the mood for tortilla chips, you can make nachos or a sweet taco salad (by crushing up the chips and mixing everything together), or roll it all up in shells for soft tacos or a burrito the size of her head.
No matter which you choose, you'll brown up your beef in a skillet, remembering to drain the meat once (to keep it healthy and mess-free), and then add the meat back to the skillet where you'll add taco seasoning and beans. You can choose from black or refried, or none at all depending on how gassy you (including her) are at the time.
The exciting part comes when you garnish with shredded cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and salsa. Note that a good guacamole is the key to any worthwhile lady's heart, and sour cream just shows you care.
Ingredients (for two servings):
1/2 lb. ground beef
I/4 bag shredded cheese
2 tortillas shells
1 pack taco seasoning
Shredded lettuce and cheese
Sour cream
1 can beans (black or refried)
1 tomato
Salsa -
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4. Fajitas
It'll trick her into believing she's at Chili's, which is where every girl dreams of spending her evenings. In the simplest way possible, set up two skillets with a little cooking oil, one that sautés slices of sweet peppers and onions and one that cooks your chicken (or steak). How far you take this is up to you.
It's as simple as cooking both separately, then adding them together in one pan to blend the flavors, but you can also spice it up with some jalapeno peppers, beans, mushrooms, or anything else you might like. "Fajita" is just another word for a delicious mess of fresh produce, so find what you like and throw it in. This does not include her cat.
Ingredients (for one serving):
2-3 peppers (red, bell or green) or frozen bag of mixed pepper slices
1 onion
1 lb. chicken -
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5. Teriyaki Chicken Pineapple
You can make her head spin without making yours using a little Hawaiian-esque treat. Hop on the grill and char up some boneless, skinless chicken breasts. The trick is that you marinate the chicken in teriyaki sauce at least a couple hours prior to cooking. Since you're a man and this is unlikely, baste both sides continuously as you grill. The kicker is adding the pineapples slices on top once the chicken is on its final flip, using toothpicks to secure.
During this process, steam up some jasmine (or white) rice in any number of ways you can steam rice (read the box or buy a steamer). Lay the chicken on a bed of rice when you're done, and she'll regret the day she called you a tasteless loser.
Ingredients (for two servings):
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
3-6 slices pineapple
1/2 cup jasmine rice
Teriyaki sauce -
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6. Tomato Basil Bruschetta
Pretty-looking, good-tasting things don't have to be difficult, but she doesn't have to know how easy it was for you.
Mix the drained, diced tomatoes (or fire-roasted) with the basil and garlic (or garlic salt) in a bowl. Using fresh baguette from the bakery (or closest grocery store), lightly spread olive oil on top. Toast the baguette in the oven, if preferred, until golden brown.
Add the mixture atop the baguette. You can melt a little shredded mozzarella cheese on top, too. Continue to serve, spoil and impress your lucky lady in under 10 minutes.
Ingredients:
1 can diced tomatoes
8-10 sliced, toasted baguettes
2 tbsp basil
1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 clove garlic -
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7. Vegetarian Salad
From one man to another, it's as easy as finding a bunch of fresh produce and tossing it into a bowl with a nice dressing. "Salad," after all, is just another word for tossing a bunch of tasty, healthy crap in a bowl. If she's a healthy eater, keep everything (especially the dressing) healthy. Instead of making the same salad as everyone else, try a refreshing take using some fresh fruit.
Simply toss baby spinach (cleaned) into a giant bowl and add peaches and pecans on top. To make it interesting, add a nice cheese, such as brie, and a light balsamic dressing.
Ingredients:
1 cup pecans
2 slices peaches
Baby spinach
Brie cheese
Balsamic dressing -
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8. Penne Pasta
Next to grilled cheese, spaghetti is second in line for easiest adult meal, even for a guy with no cooking skills. Take it up a notch by trading spaghetti noodles for penne and getting a nice sauce, not the cheap stuff, but a three-cheese blend.
While you cook your noodles, sauté slices of red peppers and zucchini in a saucepan, then add your sauce on top. When the noodles are done, drain them and add to the sauce. Wallah!
Add some garlic salted toast, Parmesan cheese and red wine (pinot noir is a good choice) to the table, and you've got a home-cooked Italian meal, sans the five-pound to-go box. If you're lucky, you'll have a "Lady and the Tramp" moment, only hopefully she's not a dog or a tramp.
Ingredients (for two servings):
1 lb. penne pasta noodles
1 (24 oz.) jar spaghetti sauce
1 red pepper
1 zucchini
1 bottle red wine
2 slices toasted garlic bread -
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9. Steak & Asparagus
If she's into steak, you've got yourself a real woman. Grill those puppies (boneless prime rib is a good move) with some Worcestershire sauce, garlic salt and steak seasoning. Cook up a dozen pieces asparagus for the two of you, either in a skillet with some cooking oil and seasoning or on a piece of foil on the grill.
Cook the steak, flipping only once if possible, until it reaches the desired color, most likely medium, give or take a couple minutes. Remember, the animal should be dead for the lady.
Beer always goes well with a nice steak, and if she's a meat lover, chances are beer is on her list of hobbies too, so find a good tasting, full flavor beer. Leave the domestic stuff for the kids.
Ingredients (for two servings):
2 steaks (seasoned)
1 bundle asparagus
6-pack beer (perhaps a nice seasonal lager) -
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10. Wine & Cheese
If all else fails, and you realize you shouldn't be allowed near a kitchen or anything that burns, keep it classy with the simplest cup of red wine, a nice block of Brie and some crackers to go with. Apple and peach slices, as well as grapes, are appreciated.
You're basically giving her a trip to the vineyard without the vineyard. We're wooing women with food here, gentlemen, not disarming a bomb, so keep it simple and leave the green wire alone!
Ingredients:
1-2 bottles red wine (depending on how big of lush she is)
1 block Brie cheese
1 roll crackers (keep it healthy, but the better the cheese, the simpler the cracker you'll want)
1 apple (sliced)
1 peach (sliced)
1 bunch of grapes