The other night I was sent a text from a number I didn't know by a person I didn't know who thought the number belonged to someone else. So, I did what any good samaritan would do and pretended to be the person they were looking for. I started off fairly normal and got weirder as the conversation went on. Let me take you through this little adventure that is guaranteed to make you LOL.
Keep in mind, this conversation is 100% real. Nothing has been edited.
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Oh, we're going to Dallas? Cool! Let's see if we can create a little bit of drama for our trip...
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What's this? I've been thrown a curve ball. How do I get out of this without her calling me out?
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Girls like to call each other "Girl". I've really nailed this role.
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Austin from Austin. There's no way she buys that.
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She didn't buy it, but I was able to spin it in my favor. Also, Austin is just going to "sit and watch them"? Creeper.
I've also learned by how she keeps abbreviating "weekend" that girls really must hate vowels.
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Texas...BBQ...get it?!
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Yes, that's the writer/director of "Her", Spike Jonze. He just won Best Screenplay at the Golden Globes. I wanted to go obscure, but still somewhat recognizable. Apparently he looks like Owen Wilson.
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Editor's Note: Owen Wilson was not a member of Wilson Phillips.
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"He loves to be close to lots of ladies." Not creepy at all.
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That's Logan Lerman of "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" and the Percy Jackson movies they keep making but no one sees. Again, obscure, but somewhat recognizable.
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Editor's Note: It's not legal in Texas.
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Has anyone seen the movie "Turbo"? Why would anyone even ask that here?
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Wendy is quite the CGI cartoon movie aficionado, I've decided.
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Fuck obscurity. Let's go with a man whose face has been all over the place recently. She caught on. Will this be where she finally calls me out?
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Yes...Why?! Why would anyone mess with someone else like that?
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Pretty sure that's not his name.
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Wait, no. Don't go, V! This is where I'm just starting to spew random nonsense!
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Apparently she thinks pork farts are why Wendy is running off with Austin.
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At first I wasn't really sure if, after that absurd rant, she finally realized that I wasn't Wendy or if she just went to bed. But then she text me the next day asking if I had spoken to Emily yet, so I knew she had simply fallen asleep and not questioned the ham Wendy had tiled her floor with.
I missed the texts the following days, so she gave me a call, which I also missed. Which means she got my voicemail and my cover was blown. Oh well, It was fun while it lasted.
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Keep in mind, this conversation is 100% real. Nothing has been edited.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Oh, we're going to Dallas? Cool! Let's see if we can create a little bit of drama for our trip...
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
What's this? I've been thrown a curve ball. How do I get out of this without her calling me out?
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Girls like to call each other "Girl". I've really nailed this role.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Austin from Austin. There's no way she buys that.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
She didn't buy it, but I was able to spin it in my favor. Also, Austin is just going to "sit and watch them"? Creeper.
I've also learned by how she keeps abbreviating "weekend" that girls really must hate vowels.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Texas...BBQ...get it?!
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Yes, that's the writer/director of "Her", Spike Jonze. He just won Best Screenplay at the Golden Globes. I wanted to go obscure, but still somewhat recognizable. Apparently he looks like Owen Wilson.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Editor's Note: Owen Wilson was not a member of Wilson Phillips.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
"He loves to be close to lots of ladies." Not creepy at all.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
That's Logan Lerman of "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" and the Percy Jackson movies they keep making but no one sees. Again, obscure, but somewhat recognizable.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Editor's Note: It's not legal in Texas.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Has anyone seen the movie "Turbo"? Why would anyone even ask that here?
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Wendy is quite the CGI cartoon movie aficionado, I've decided.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Fuck obscurity. Let's go with a man whose face has been all over the place recently. She caught on. Will this be where she finally calls me out?
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Yes...Why?! Why would anyone mess with someone else like that?
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Pretty sure that's not his name.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Wait, no. Don't go, V! This is where I'm just starting to spew random nonsense!
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Apparently she thinks pork farts are why Wendy is running off with Austin.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
At first I wasn't really sure if, after that absurd rant, she finally realized that I wasn't Wendy or if she just went to bed. But then she text me the next day asking if I had spoken to Emily yet, so I knew she had simply fallen asleep and not questioned the ham Wendy had tiled her floor with.
I missed the texts the following days, so she gave me a call, which I also missed. Which means she got my voicemail and my cover was blown. Oh well, It was fun while it lasted.
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