Dude Claims He Burned His Penis Making Love to Domino's Pizza

And there weren't even any jalapeños on it.

A Domino's Pizza customer in the UK took to Twitter on Monday to tell the world he had severely burned his man meat while he was plowing one of their pizzas.:

.@Dominos_UK HELLO I'VE JUST MADE LOVE TO ONE OF YOUR PIZZAS AND BURNT MY PENIS SEVERELY. PLEASE ADVISE ON YOUR TERMS FOR A REFUND. THANKS.

- LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

Even crazier than that post is the fact that Domino's actually responded to the tweet:

@NotArsedLike @ITK_AGENT_VIGO Please contact our head office - comments@dominos.co.uk regarding this matter.

- Domino's Pizza UK (@Dominos_UK) February 24, 2014

@LAD_VIGO continued his charade by suggesting Domino's should have warnings on their boxes about the dangers of having sex with their pizzas. Again, Domino's responded in a professional matter, saying they would "look for a way to notify customers of this in the future."

But @LAD_VIGO wasn't done having fun just yet, and sent two more tweets to the pizza maker:

.@Dominos_UK I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS, NOT HAPPY AT ALL, I HAVE A MULTITUDE OF PEPPERONI PIECES STUCK TO MY BALLS AND MY PENIS IS SCORCHED.

- LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

.@Dominos_UK LOOK, I'VE TRIED EMAILING YOUR HEAD OFFICE WITH NO SUCCESS BUT NOW THE PIZZA WANTS TO GIVE ME A BLOW JOB, PLEASE ADVISE.

- LAD_VIGO (@ITK_AGENT_VIGO) February 24, 2014

Both tweets again drew responses from Domino's, and then that was the end of it. It must have been time for @LAD_VIGO to sign off and head upstairs to finish his chores.

(via UPI)

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