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Dude Has Sex With Hot Pocket

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While many 18-year-olds in America are busy finalizing their plans for continuing their education at an institution of higher learning, others are plowing Hot Pockets. Take a guess which one we're doing a story on.

A "man" who goes by the codename VERSACEPOCKETS has been banned from Twitter and Vine after posting pictures of himself going all the way with a ham and cheese Hot Pocket.

guy has sex with hot pocket

"I just thought it was so f--kin' funny," he told "First We Feast," a website that - among other things - apparently interviews people who hump foods.

VERSACEPOCKETS told the website his goal for pounding Hot Pockets and then posting the pics online was to "f--k around and see what happens."

Asked if he regretted putting his face out there, he reasoned, "I don't really care. I haven't gotten noticed in public yet. And I'm still young - I'm 18 - so, it's not like I'm still going to look like this in three years."

His advice for others looking to follow in his food-plowing ways?

"I tried doing it without a condom and it was just, like, way too hot. I was like, 'Dude, I'm gonna have to use a condom if I'm gonna actually stick my dick in the whole Hot Pocket.'"

VERSACEPOCKETS has also gone balls deep with a Pop Tart.

(via First We Feast)

He's not the only loser on this planet: The Weirdest Objects People Have Had Sex With

 

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