If you're planning on hooking up with a gypsy woman and your rationale is, "What's the worst that could happen?" you might want to keep reading this story. And then strongly reconsider your taste in women.
According to Daily Mail, a busy motorway in Middlesbrough was brought to a halt today after police closed it to look for a missing penis.
Why was a man missing his penis on a Thursday morning in Middlesbrough? You guessed it: a damn gypsy gang cut it off because they found out a man had slept with one of their women.
The road was closed after police arrived on the scene of what was described as a man lying on the ground in a "distressed state," which is about as big of an understatement as me saying I would like to hold Kate Upton's hand.
The man was taken to a nearby hospital and put into an induced coma, and all road closures have since been lifted. It is still unclear, however, whether or not authorities found the man's missing hog, which is really the most important part of this story if you think about it.
Sadly, even having penis insurance wouldn't have helped this lad: Somebody is Finally Offering Penis Insurance
