
"We dated for a while but she never wanted to hook up. I found out later it was because her Red Lobster had flared up again."
"I can't put it off any longer. I gotta go see a doctor about this Krispy Kreme."
"Don't worry about Little Caesars, they clear up after two weeks of ointment. Then you can get right back in the game."
"Ever since I hooked up with that girl during finals week, it burns when I pee. I think she gave me the Sizzler."
"It was so gross, dude. I flipped her over and there it was - a giant Cinnabon staring me right in the face."
"Trust me son, always use protection. No girl wants to date a guy with a Cracker Barrel."
"She looked great from across the bar but when we got outside and I saw her in the light, I noticed she had two tiny Applebees right above her lip. That's when I took off."
"I can't believe Amy went on Facebook to ask about what medicine works best for a Fuddruckers outbreak."
"I'm clean, man. I got tested for everything: HIV, HPV, IHOP ..."
"I had to end it with Sarah. I found out she had a Jack in the Box."