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Marlins Will Soar
The San Francisco Giants just won the World Series, so undoubtedly there is some dope out there writing a song about them in hopes that it will become a beloved anthem. More likely than not, though, it will be terrible, like all songs about sports teams are. Want some proof? Listen to this song from Creed frontman Scott Stapp, about his favorite baseball team the Miami Marlins. In between lyrics about common baseball plays (strikeouts and base hits) and rare occurrences (a perfect game and a triple play), he believes they will soar. If this song is any indication, they will not. Then, click ahead for the 10 worst sports team songs of all time.
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Only the Bulls
In the 1990s, Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls took over the NBA and created a dynasty that won six championships. So of course, a song had to be made to capitalize on all their success. That song was called "Only the Bulls," a mix of awful electro-pop, horns, chanting and groovy mouth sounds. Many questions are asked in the song, and to nobody's surprise the answer every time is "Only the Bulls."
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Go NY Go
In 1994, the New York Knicks decided it was their turn. Not their turn to win a championship, because they failed to do that, but to make a terrible music video featuring players and fans lip-syncing "Go New York, Go New York, Go!" The lyrics of the song sound like they are rapped by a very poor man's Vanilla Ice.
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Ram It
Everyone knows about "The Super Bowl Shuffle," the rap song that the 1985 Chicago Bears recorded for charity on their way to winning the Super Bowl. It was bad, but because it was the first of its kind, it was super popular and had huge commercial success. So, many other NFL teams of the 1980s tried to mimic it, and the results were hilariously bad. The most ridiculous is probably the L.A. Rams "Ram It," which features so much sexual innuendo and suggestive dancing that it could be considered soft core sports porn.
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The Blue Wave is on a Roll
This one is bizarre, but you have to admire the Seattle Seahawks for not simply ripping off "The Super Bowl Shuffle." Instead, they go with some old-timey "Yakety Sax" music mixed with rock 'n' roll and have various players and elderly women fans say, "the Blue Wave is on a roll!" Oh, and there are also some gratuitous shots of shirtless players lifting weights. Score!
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Silver and Black Attack
Ahh, this is more like it. This 1986 music video from the L.A. Raiders gathers the whole team onto one stage and lets them take turns on the mic, rapping about who they are and what they do, all while swaying and dancing awkwardly together. It's absurdly long, but it says we better listen to what they say, so don't stop short!
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Buddy's Watchin' You
This is perhaps the most cringe-worthy of the bunch, not only because of how terrible it is, but because of the clothes they are all wearing. The backup singers are pretty soulful, but they can't cover up the ridiculous lyrics of both Reggie White and kicker Luis Zendejas (1:03 mark), who finishes his lines about ten seconds faster that he's supposed to.
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Team of the '80s
The funky style of this team song sounds a lot like the TV theme of hit '90s show "Home Improvement." Several of the 49ers players strike goofy TV sitcom-like poses, as well, so maybe they were ahead of their time. Our favorite star of this song, though, is the riled up Doug DuBose, who steals the show at the 1:43 mark.
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Get Metsmerized!
Yep, even baseball teams in the '80s got in on the action, with the 1986 New York Mets leading the charge. This delightful play on words rap song features all the coked-up Mets stars, like Darryl Strawberry and Dwight Gooden, rapping too slow and too fast, respectfully. Then, at the 2:09 mark, Mets shortstop Rafael Santana, who can barely speak English, tries to rap it...and fails miserably.
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Like we said, this is the one that started it all. "The Super Bowl Shuffle" is still loved by many who fondly remember the '85 Bears, but this team song that took the nation by storm can be blamed for all the rest that didn't.
Next: Epic Game Show Fails-
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