If a sign says "no shirt, no shoes, no service," you could be forgiven for thinking that you don't need to wear pants. But that would be wrong and often illegal. In this feature, we'll tell ten stories of individuals who decided that wearing trousers wasn't necessary and got up to mischief without them.
![]()
Ryan Smallwood
Waffle House is the kind of restaurant where you can just be yourself. Unless, of course, "being yourself" means that you don't wear pants. Just ask a man with the unfortunate name of Ryan Smallwood, who wound up in a booth at the Rock Hill, N.C., Waffle House with his pants around his ankles, attempting to chat up fellow diners about his genitals. A police officer happened to be passing by when he looked in the window and spotted Smallwood up on the back of the booth flipping off another customer. The officer told him to pull his pants up, but eventually the waffle-loving deviant was brought in on a disorderly conduct charge. (Photo courtesy of: Rock Hill Police Department)
![]()
Lorie Ann Hill
They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression, and that goes double for the first day of work. So when Lorie Ann Hill sauntered into her new classroom at a Wagoner, Okla., public school to set up before students arrived, she maybe shouldn't have downed a few shots of vodka beforehand. School administrators found her in the wrong room, confused and with her pants off. The police were called to take her somewhere to sober up. The school district also told her that her services would not be needed in the future. (Photo courtesy of: Wagoner Oklahoma Police Department)
![]()
Stephen Gough
If you want to talk people who really despise pants, British man Stephen Gough might just top the list. The 54-year-old man has been a lifelong proponent of public nudity, and nearly half of his adult life has been spent in jail because he simply won't cover up his privates. His pants-free life began in 2001, when he discovered the pleasures of mountain hiking unclothed. Since then, he's been taken in by cops dozens of times. His marriage even fell apart when he joined his mother-in-law and father-in-law for breakfast completely nude, horrifying his wife. Despite the forces working against him, Gough says that he will never abandon his pantsless principles. (Photo courtesy of: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images)
![]()
Unnamed Bremerton Man
Typically we like to have a name to go with our bizarre stories, but this one is so funny it had to make it through. In May of 2014, the Kitsap Sun reported on a traffic stop in Bremerton, Wash., that took a ridiculous twist. After police received multiple reports of a man exposing himself to other drivers on Highway 16, they found the culprit and pulled him over. Sure enough, he wasn't wearing pants, but he had quite an excuse. The half-nude man claimed to have just received a Brazilian body wax to strip all of the hair from his legs. This made his jeans irritate his body, so he took them (and his underwear) off for the drive home. Needless to say, cops didn't buy his excuse. (Photo courtesy of: Alex501 via Flickr CC)
![]()
Umar Khan
Driving can be very stressful, so we recommend that you get as comfortable as possible before you step behind the wheel. One exception: Keep your pants and underwear on. In 2012, Glendale cops pulled over a man named Umar Khan after he blew through a stop sign. After a short chase, they managed to stop his vehicle, but when the arresting officer went to his door he noticed that Khan was completely naked from the waist down. He claimed that it "gave him a sense of freedom," but after they ran his record cops discovered that Khan was a serial peeping Tom out looking for something to get excited by, and he also had some meth on him for good measure. (Photo courtesy of: RobArnieandDawn)
![]()
Jamie Craft
Alcohol is a hell of a drug. It can make you forget your name, it can make you forget your inhibitions, and it can sure as hell make you forget your pants. Jonesboro, Ark., woman Jamie Craft got tanked up in 2013 and got behind the wheel of her Pontiac Grand Am dressed in only a sweatshirt. She started the engine and then plowed right into the side of a trailer. With her car out of action, the pantsless maniac did the only thing she could think of and climbed into a child's battery-operated Power Wheels toy truck to make a getaway. Craft couldn't get the toy started and eventually fled to her mother's house on foot, where police picked her up still nude from the waist down. (Photo courtesy of: Craighead County Sheriff's Department)
![]()
Austin Anderson
When you're looking to commit some vandalism, you don't want pants to slow you down. So when 22-year-old Austin Anderson broke into a Piedmont, Okla., elementary school, the first thing he did was get naked from the waist down. Once his dingus was swinging free, he roamed the school pouring pickle relish and apple cider vinegar in front of every exit door, peed on the floor multiple times and made a perplexing stack of computers, possibly to steal. When officers arrived, he'd already left the building, leaving his clothes behind. (Photo courtesy of: Oklahoma City Police Department)
![]()
Joey Vandervort
Let's be honest with each other: The primary reason that dudes pull their pants down is for easy access to their genitals. That's what Portland, Ore., man Joey Vandervort was doing in October of 2014 when he got too excited watching a neighborhood woman. Somebody called the cops and when an officer arrived on the scene, Vandervort punched him and ran away. Or tried to run away -- unfortunately for our horny hero, his drawers were still around his ankles and tripped him up, sending him face-first into the pavement, where he was easy pickings for law enforcement. (Photo courtesy of: Multnomah County Sheriff's Office)
![]()
Vladimir Fomin
You know, you don't have to wear pants. There are plenty of other ways to cover your legs -- like skirts, for example. That's what motivated Russian mathematician Vladimir Fomin to embark on a pants-free lifestyle. The Kineshma native was actually expelled from the Ivanovo University of Mathematics when he resolutely refused to wear anything down below but a skirt. He's not a transvestite, though -- he simply thinks that skirts are more comfortable than pants. Sadly, Fomin's unique sense of fashion has led him to be the subject of insults and abuse by local hoodlums. (Photo courtesy of: Funny Russians)
![]()
William Anderson and Michael Stusak
Let's close this one out with a double-header, as it were. In August of 2014, police were called to a normally quiet street in Struthers, Ohio, to deal with a bizarre disturbance. Two men, William Anderson and Michael Stusak, were in the front yard with their pants around their ankles, yelling at each other. According to neighbors, Anderson was first to drop his drawers while yelling at a neighbor for letting her dog pee in his yard. Stusak joined the fray and pulled his pants down as well, presumably to be on equal footing. Both men were arrested and taken to jail. (Photo courtesy of: Strutters Police Department/WKBN)
Ryan Smallwood
Waffle House is the kind of restaurant where you can just be yourself. Unless, of course, "being yourself" means that you don't wear pants. Just ask a man with the unfortunate name of Ryan Smallwood, who wound up in a booth at the Rock Hill, N.C., Waffle House with his pants around his ankles, attempting to chat up fellow diners about his genitals. A police officer happened to be passing by when he looked in the window and spotted Smallwood up on the back of the booth flipping off another customer. The officer told him to pull his pants up, but eventually the waffle-loving deviant was brought in on a disorderly conduct charge. (Photo courtesy of: Rock Hill Police Department)
Lorie Ann Hill
They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression, and that goes double for the first day of work. So when Lorie Ann Hill sauntered into her new classroom at a Wagoner, Okla., public school to set up before students arrived, she maybe shouldn't have downed a few shots of vodka beforehand. School administrators found her in the wrong room, confused and with her pants off. The police were called to take her somewhere to sober up. The school district also told her that her services would not be needed in the future. (Photo courtesy of: Wagoner Oklahoma Police Department)
Stephen Gough
If you want to talk people who really despise pants, British man Stephen Gough might just top the list. The 54-year-old man has been a lifelong proponent of public nudity, and nearly half of his adult life has been spent in jail because he simply won't cover up his privates. His pants-free life began in 2001, when he discovered the pleasures of mountain hiking unclothed. Since then, he's been taken in by cops dozens of times. His marriage even fell apart when he joined his mother-in-law and father-in-law for breakfast completely nude, horrifying his wife. Despite the forces working against him, Gough says that he will never abandon his pantsless principles. (Photo courtesy of: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images)
Unnamed Bremerton Man
Typically we like to have a name to go with our bizarre stories, but this one is so funny it had to make it through. In May of 2014, the Kitsap Sun reported on a traffic stop in Bremerton, Wash., that took a ridiculous twist. After police received multiple reports of a man exposing himself to other drivers on Highway 16, they found the culprit and pulled him over. Sure enough, he wasn't wearing pants, but he had quite an excuse. The half-nude man claimed to have just received a Brazilian body wax to strip all of the hair from his legs. This made his jeans irritate his body, so he took them (and his underwear) off for the drive home. Needless to say, cops didn't buy his excuse. (Photo courtesy of: Alex501 via Flickr CC)
Umar Khan
Driving can be very stressful, so we recommend that you get as comfortable as possible before you step behind the wheel. One exception: Keep your pants and underwear on. In 2012, Glendale cops pulled over a man named Umar Khan after he blew through a stop sign. After a short chase, they managed to stop his vehicle, but when the arresting officer went to his door he noticed that Khan was completely naked from the waist down. He claimed that it "gave him a sense of freedom," but after they ran his record cops discovered that Khan was a serial peeping Tom out looking for something to get excited by, and he also had some meth on him for good measure. (Photo courtesy of: RobArnieandDawn)
Jamie Craft
Alcohol is a hell of a drug. It can make you forget your name, it can make you forget your inhibitions, and it can sure as hell make you forget your pants. Jonesboro, Ark., woman Jamie Craft got tanked up in 2013 and got behind the wheel of her Pontiac Grand Am dressed in only a sweatshirt. She started the engine and then plowed right into the side of a trailer. With her car out of action, the pantsless maniac did the only thing she could think of and climbed into a child's battery-operated Power Wheels toy truck to make a getaway. Craft couldn't get the toy started and eventually fled to her mother's house on foot, where police picked her up still nude from the waist down. (Photo courtesy of: Craighead County Sheriff's Department)
Austin Anderson
When you're looking to commit some vandalism, you don't want pants to slow you down. So when 22-year-old Austin Anderson broke into a Piedmont, Okla., elementary school, the first thing he did was get naked from the waist down. Once his dingus was swinging free, he roamed the school pouring pickle relish and apple cider vinegar in front of every exit door, peed on the floor multiple times and made a perplexing stack of computers, possibly to steal. When officers arrived, he'd already left the building, leaving his clothes behind. (Photo courtesy of: Oklahoma City Police Department)
Joey Vandervort
Let's be honest with each other: The primary reason that dudes pull their pants down is for easy access to their genitals. That's what Portland, Ore., man Joey Vandervort was doing in October of 2014 when he got too excited watching a neighborhood woman. Somebody called the cops and when an officer arrived on the scene, Vandervort punched him and ran away. Or tried to run away -- unfortunately for our horny hero, his drawers were still around his ankles and tripped him up, sending him face-first into the pavement, where he was easy pickings for law enforcement. (Photo courtesy of: Multnomah County Sheriff's Office)
Vladimir Fomin
You know, you don't have to wear pants. There are plenty of other ways to cover your legs -- like skirts, for example. That's what motivated Russian mathematician Vladimir Fomin to embark on a pants-free lifestyle. The Kineshma native was actually expelled from the Ivanovo University of Mathematics when he resolutely refused to wear anything down below but a skirt. He's not a transvestite, though -- he simply thinks that skirts are more comfortable than pants. Sadly, Fomin's unique sense of fashion has led him to be the subject of insults and abuse by local hoodlums. (Photo courtesy of: Funny Russians)
William Anderson and Michael StusakLet's close this one out with a double-header, as it were. In August of 2014, police were called to a normally quiet street in Struthers, Ohio, to deal with a bizarre disturbance. Two men, William Anderson and Michael Stusak, were in the front yard with their pants around their ankles, yelling at each other. According to neighbors, Anderson was first to drop his drawers while yelling at a neighbor for letting her dog pee in his yard. Stusak joined the fray and pulled his pants down as well, presumably to be on equal footing. Both men were arrested and taken to jail. (Photo courtesy of: Strutters Police Department/WKBN)