When you get behind the wheel of a car, you're basically taking command of a massive hollow-point bullet on wheels, capable of accelerating to speeds of 100 miles per hour and wreaking havoc on whatever it hits. You'd think people would take it more seriously, but they don't. Here are ten people who smashed up their rides doing the stupidest things imaginable.
Pulling A Tooth
When you're a long-haul trucker and you've got a toothache, it can be hard to find a reputable dentist. But what one driver chose to do last month proves that you should leave that stuff to the professionals. The unnamed man was driving on I-20 outside of Tuscaloosa, Alabama when his loose tooth began to bug him, so he took both hands off of the wheel to get the leverage necessary to yank it out. Unsurprisingly, the tractor-trailer went out of control and careened off the road, driving into a ditch before being stopped by a tree. The driver showed police his tooth as proof of his bizarre story. (Photo credit: Kevin O'Mara via Flickr CC)
Posting on Facebook
Social media is a hell of a thing. It's so easy to get sucked into the virtual world of your friends scattered across the globe that you lose sight of the real world around you. That's what befell Courtney Ann Sanford one day in 2014. Police got the call about Sanford veering into oncoming traffic and smashing into a truck at 8:34 in the morning. When they investigated the incident, they discovered that at 8:33 Sanford had posted a Facebook status update about the Pharrell Williams song "Happy," and the distraction from her phone caused her to leave her lane, crash and sadly die. (Photo credit: My Fox 8)
Brushing Your Teeth
Personal grooming should be kept to the bathroom, not behind the wheel of an automobile. So when New Zealand teacher Cherie Margaret Davis decided she needed to scrub out some of the alcohol from her mouth, setting the car on cruise control and getting her toothbrush out was probably not the best choice. Davis found her car veering to the left, so she swerved to the right with a little too much force and plowed into a pile of rocks. (Photo credit: Science Daily)
Having Sex
Getting your freak on in a car is a rite of passage for many American teenagers, but the first thing you learn is to park the damn thing first. Unfortunately for Luis Briones and his girlfriend, he must have missed class that day. In May 2013, Luis and his lady were driving through the streets of Albuquerque doing the nasty when he smashed into a divider, sending the woman through the windshield. Like a gentleman, Luis tried to drive away from the scene and leave his injured partner behind. A witness grabbed his keys, so he instead hid behind a cactus until cops found him. (Photo credit: Bernalillo County Detention Center)
Doing Karaoke
Cell phones have become one of the leading causes of accidents on the road, and while fairly benign things like texting cause most of them, some people really push the envelope. In May 2014, a video hit the Internet of a pair of Iranian girls filming themselves singing along to a Middle Eastern pop hit while driving. The girl behind the wheel took her eyes off the road for just long enough to crash the car, popping the airbags. Paramedics took them to the hospital, where the pair continued to take selfies. (Photo credit: YouTube)
Eating a Taco
There are certain foods that are pretty safe to eat while driving, like sucking down a protein shake or downing a McGriddle on the way to work. But tacos? A driver outside of Sacramento learned the hard way that they're not a good idea. In 2012, a man driving in the small town of Antelope kicked off a multi-car pileup when he looked away from the road to clean some dropped taco crumbs off of his lap. He rammed into a pair of parked cars so hard that his vehicle flipped over onto its roof. Amazingly, he walked away unhurt. (Photo credit: Imgur)
Holding Your Breath
Obviously there are a lot of bad choices on this list, but this might be the worst. While driving through a tunnel in the outskirts of Portland, Daniel Calhon bet his friend that he could hold his breath longer than he could. Unfortunately for everybody, Calhon held it a little too long and lost consciousness, causing his Camry to drift across the divider and smash head-on into a Ford Explorer. Nobody was killed, but his friend riding shotgun was understandably pretty pissed off, even if he did win the bet. (Photo credit: Oregon State Police)
Being Overwhelmed By Trash
It's way too easy to mess up the inside of your car. Stuff just accumulates on the floor, in the cupholders, behind the seats, and before you know it you're piloting a garbage barge. But for some people, a messy car is a precursor to a nasty accident. In 2007, a woman named Ann Biglan was backing her Ford Focus out of a parking space when a number of old coffee cups rolled under her brake pedal. As she lost control, more trash cascaded out of her passenger seat and onto the floor, causing the car to hop a curb and smash into a concrete flowerpot in a gas station parking lot. (Photo credit: readerwalker via Flickr CC)
Shaving Your Crotch
This next one comes from the wild streets of Florida, where bad ideas are a dime a dozen. In 2010, a bleach-blonde Florida thirtysomething named Megan Barnes was speeding down the Overseas Highway on her way to see her boyfriend. However, she noticed that her pubic region was a little overgrown, so Barnes pulled out a disposable razor to trim her bush and asked her ex-husband, riding in the passenger seat, to take the wheel. That's trashy, even for Florida. The pair smashed into the back of a SUV and attempted to flee the scene, only for cops to pick them up and reconstruct the bizarre crime. (Photo credit: Florida Police Department)
Watching Porn
Oh, come on. If you really feel the need to pleasure yourself on the open road, pull over and put your hazard lights on. In June 2014, a British truck driver named Ian Glover was speeding down the motorway watching a little bit of smut on his cell phone when he lost control of his vehicle. The massive truck crashed through a safety barrier and into a vacationing couple, killing the woman instantly. Glover played dumb, but a police pull of his phone records revealed multiple visits to porn sites while he was on the road. (Photo credit: Atomic Hot links via Flickr CC)