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TriStar Pictures/Photofest, retroactionfigures.com1 of 15
Toys are made for children. We get that. Most children have a much better imagination than the average adult, so they don't really care if a toy based on the popular movie or television show that they like resembles the actor playing that character or not. They can just pretend. That still doesn't give toy companies the right to hose them this badly. The following is a gallery of 15 action figures that least resemble their big screen counterparts. Our kids deserve better than this.
Peter Banning/Peter Pan from "Hook (Robin Williams)
Among other things, he's not nearly hairy enough.
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Paramount Pictures/Photofest, seibertron.com2 of 15
Mikaela Banes from "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" (Megan Fox)
FHM's 2008/2009 Sexiest Woman Alive. We can see why.
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Universal Pictures/Photofest, adamvonwillis.com3 of 15
Dennis Nedry from "Jurassic Park" (Wayne Knight)
Hello, Newma -- Nope, not even close.
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Paramount Pictures/Photofest, ebay.com4 of 15
Ethan Hunt from "Mission: Impossible" (Tom Cruise)
Doesn't seem to come with Tom Cruise's actual face included.
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poeghostal.com5 of 15
Bob the Goon from "Batman" (Tracey Walter)
"Bob, gun." (shoots toymaker)
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Lucasfilm Ltd./Twentieth Century Fox Film Corp./Photofest, rebelscum.com6 of 15
Luke Skywalker from "Star Wars" (Mark Hamill)
Luke Skywalker was the linebacker with the tiny head, right?
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Warner Bros./Photofest, figurerealm.com7 of 15
Azeem from "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" (Morgan Freeman)
Toy company: "Be sure to subtly include his face moles."
Toy designer who doesn't know what subtly means: "Sure thing, boss!"
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Universal/Photofest, figure-archive.net8 of 15
Mr. Furious from "Mystery Men" (Ben Stiller)
When the toymaker couldn't quite get Ben Stiller's face right, they just decided to go with Razor Ramon's.
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Photofest, actionfig.wordpress.com9 of 15
John Rambo from "Rambo" (Sylvester Stallone)
Apparently, Rambo spends his days at the beach wearing a ski mask.
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Buena Vista Pictures/Photofest, shitmoviefest.blogspot.com10 of 15
Luigi from "Super Mario Bros." (John Leguizamo)
That must have been a protein shake mushroom.
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themoderndaypirates.com11 of 15
Xena from "Xena: Warrior Princess" (Lucy Lawless)
The bare essentials of the female body: face, breasts, legs. Wait a minute...
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Universal/Photofest, ebay.com12 of 15
Capt. Malcolm 'Mal' Reynolds from "Serenity" and "Firefly" (Nathan Fillion)
I know it's a space western, but that doesn't mean they had to make him look like an alien.
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Warner Bros./Photofest, ronsrescuedtreasures.com13 of 15
Bruce Wayne from "Batman & Robin" (George Clooney)
What do you think of my completely different hair?
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zimbio.com14 of 15
Duke from "G.I. Joe" (Channing Tatum)
Fortunately, this figurine can double for when "Magic Mike 2: Mike Gets a Tapeworm" comes out.
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Columbia Pictures/Photofest15 of 15Next: Hilariously Bad Simpsons Drawings
Johnny Blaze from "Ghost Rider" (Nicolas Cage)
During development of the Johnny action figure, they needed a way for him to see over his motorcycle's extra high handlebars. An intern chimed in, "Extra long neck?" "Bingo," said the head designer.
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