It's amazing how much you can dislike someone you've never met, based solely on the things they post and write on social media. Instagram - aka LOOK AT ME - may be the worst because it seems as though so many people lack the least hint of self-awareness. If you're wondering if you're part of the problem, here's a helpful guide to determine if everyone on Instagram hates you.
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1. Unless you're the founder and CEO or Starbucks, there's no need for you to post a daily picture of a Starbucks cup. We get it. You drink coffee from the most popular coffee chain in the world. How exciting!
2. You post a dozen pictures in a row of the exact same event. No one knows your cousin Brenda and we definitely don't need to see every blurry, candid picture of her hanging out with all your weird aunts.
3. You're wearing makeup, an evening gown, had a professional stylist do your hair along with a full lighting team and the caption says "No makeup." Sure thing.
4. There's also the attractive picture with a caption that says something like, "I look so terrible. I'll be deleting this shortly." What you really mean is "PLEASE COMPLIMENT ME FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IT'S ALL I LIVE FOR!"
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5. Cool tree branch with a dramatic filter on it. Are you a full time photographer now or just sharing your idiotic attempts at being artistic for free?
6. If your hashtag is a complete sentence that takes 15 minutes to try and interpret, you should have to serve 30 days at Guantanamo Bay.
7. You post pictures of every single stupid piece of food that comes into your life. We've all seen a hot dog, so you can save yourself the embarrassment of doing a Dairy Queen photo shoot.
8. Do you ever comment things like "stunning" or "wow" on pictures of girls you don't know? Congratulations on being the creepiest dudes on the planet!
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9. If there are more than two hashtags on your photo, you should have to pay extra taxes for the next five years.
10. You post screenshots of whatever song you're listening to at the moment captioned with an inspirational quote to create the most useless piece of the internet that's ever existed.
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11. Stop posting memes. If Willy Wonka is resting his head on his fist in your timeline, stop what you're doing and go delete it now. It's for your own good.
12. The screenshot of a text conversation between you and one of your friends telling inside jokes to each other is the worst. Usually it has a caption like, "This is why we're best friends forever LOL." Thanks for this riveting glimpse into a conversation we don't understand at all.
13. If you really want to double down on terrible text screenshots, you can post one of your significant other texting you something boringly sweet and make the caption a bunch of those smiley face emojis with hearts instead of eyes.
14. Have you ever commented on a celebrity's photo asking them to follow you? How'd that work out?
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15. Without a hint of irony, you've written a message in the sand at the beach and taken a photo of it. Usually it's something like "hope" or "love endures" and it totally changes our lives.
16. You can't go to the gym without posting 736 pictures of it, along with excruciating details of what you did while you were there. Great news, gang! It's leg day!
17. You document every boring thing you do throughout the day. We don't need a snapshot of Lowes because you went to buy a paintbrush.
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18. We've all seen coffee foam shaped as a heart. We're all set. With just a little adjusting it could be the Wu-Tang logo and really give you something to brag about.
19. We've learned to accept selfies, but if you're doing that stupid smile where it looks like your sort of happy and sort of had a stroke, we want to throw something heavy at your face.
20. Any post where the obvious purpose is to say LOOK HOW MUCH MONEY I SPENT ON THIS! Let me throw my panties at you because you brag about going into debt. So hot!
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21. You post other people's pictures and claim them as your own, then make money off of it, and have the username TheFatJewish.
22. We already saw your dumb tweet on Twitter. You don't need to take a screenshot and shove it in our faces all over again. How many times do I have to like your Joe Biden zinger, pal?
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23. Remember earlier when I said we had accepted selfies? One or two are tolerable, but if your Instagram looks like a calendar that features a slightly different angle of your sweaty face every day, you may be the actual devil.
24. Your dog, cat, baby, iguana, or pony is adorable, but we don't need the play by play update on every boring thing they do every day. Unless your kid just starts quoting Borat, we should be all set on 15 second videos of her for the day.
25. If you post a video where absolutely nothing happens and I watch it twice just to make sure I didn't miss something notable, you should have to wear a scarlet I so everyone knows you're awful on Instagram.
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26. Logos for whatever team is close to winning the championship, even though you've never even hinted at being a fan of that team before. It's amazing how you just happen to be the biggest fan of the team that wins the Super Bowl the day after the Super Bowl every year. Huh?
1. Unless you're the founder and CEO or Starbucks, there's no need for you to post a daily picture of a Starbucks cup. We get it. You drink coffee from the most popular coffee chain in the world. How exciting!
2. You post a dozen pictures in a row of the exact same event. No one knows your cousin Brenda and we definitely don't need to see every blurry, candid picture of her hanging out with all your weird aunts.
3. You're wearing makeup, an evening gown, had a professional stylist do your hair along with a full lighting team and the caption says "No makeup." Sure thing.
4. There's also the attractive picture with a caption that says something like, "I look so terrible. I'll be deleting this shortly." What you really mean is "PLEASE COMPLIMENT ME FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IT'S ALL I LIVE FOR!"
5. Cool tree branch with a dramatic filter on it. Are you a full time photographer now or just sharing your idiotic attempts at being artistic for free?
6. If your hashtag is a complete sentence that takes 15 minutes to try and interpret, you should have to serve 30 days at Guantanamo Bay.
7. You post pictures of every single stupid piece of food that comes into your life. We've all seen a hot dog, so you can save yourself the embarrassment of doing a Dairy Queen photo shoot.
8. Do you ever comment things like "stunning" or "wow" on pictures of girls you don't know? Congratulations on being the creepiest dudes on the planet!
9. If there are more than two hashtags on your photo, you should have to pay extra taxes for the next five years.
10. You post screenshots of whatever song you're listening to at the moment captioned with an inspirational quote to create the most useless piece of the internet that's ever existed.
11. Stop posting memes. If Willy Wonka is resting his head on his fist in your timeline, stop what you're doing and go delete it now. It's for your own good.
12. The screenshot of a text conversation between you and one of your friends telling inside jokes to each other is the worst. Usually it has a caption like, "This is why we're best friends forever LOL." Thanks for this riveting glimpse into a conversation we don't understand at all.
13. If you really want to double down on terrible text screenshots, you can post one of your significant other texting you something boringly sweet and make the caption a bunch of those smiley face emojis with hearts instead of eyes.
14. Have you ever commented on a celebrity's photo asking them to follow you? How'd that work out?
15. Without a hint of irony, you've written a message in the sand at the beach and taken a photo of it. Usually it's something like "hope" or "love endures" and it totally changes our lives.
16. You can't go to the gym without posting 736 pictures of it, along with excruciating details of what you did while you were there. Great news, gang! It's leg day!
17. You document every boring thing you do throughout the day. We don't need a snapshot of Lowes because you went to buy a paintbrush.
18. We've all seen coffee foam shaped as a heart. We're all set. With just a little adjusting it could be the Wu-Tang logo and really give you something to brag about.
19. We've learned to accept selfies, but if you're doing that stupid smile where it looks like your sort of happy and sort of had a stroke, we want to throw something heavy at your face.
20. Any post where the obvious purpose is to say LOOK HOW MUCH MONEY I SPENT ON THIS! Let me throw my panties at you because you brag about going into debt. So hot!
21. You post other people's pictures and claim them as your own, then make money off of it, and have the username TheFatJewish.
22. We already saw your dumb tweet on Twitter. You don't need to take a screenshot and shove it in our faces all over again. How many times do I have to like your Joe Biden zinger, pal?
23. Remember earlier when I said we had accepted selfies? One or two are tolerable, but if your Instagram looks like a calendar that features a slightly different angle of your sweaty face every day, you may be the actual devil.
24. Your dog, cat, baby, iguana, or pony is adorable, but we don't need the play by play update on every boring thing they do every day. Unless your kid just starts quoting Borat, we should be all set on 15 second videos of her for the day.
25. If you post a video where absolutely nothing happens and I watch it twice just to make sure I didn't miss something notable, you should have to wear a scarlet I so everyone knows you're awful on Instagram.
26. Logos for whatever team is close to winning the championship, even though you've never even hinted at being a fan of that team before. It's amazing how you just happen to be the biggest fan of the team that wins the Super Bowl the day after the Super Bowl every year. Huh?