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12 Facts That Will Absolutely Terrify You If You're a Germaphobe

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Are you a germaphobe? If so, burn your computer. You don't want to see this. If you're a mid-twenties bachelor who languishes in your filth and couldn't care less about a sink full of microbes systematically eating your dishes alive, please read the following facts and then reflect on your life.


1. There are approximately 2,000 different species of bacteria in your navel. Yes, researchers from North Carolina found 2,368 types within 60 belly buttons in 2012 - 1,458 of which were new to science.The layer of dirty mange we lovingly call "brown sugar" is in fact a metropolis of germs.


2. Arachnids infest your face. Eyelash mites, as they're commonly called, literally live in your eyelashes. The people in charge say 95 percent of people have two species chilling and laying eggs in this region: The Demodex folliculorum and the Demodex brevis - both of the arachnida class. They say they remove dirt and oil, but I'd rather live like a dirty oily pig than have parasites taking advantage of my beautiful lashes.



3. That er...smell, uh downstairs is ... well ... bacterial overgrowth. Don't worry girls, men's penises house around 42 different species of bacteria at any given moment - which may be the cause for oniony, vinegary stenches. Whether it's vaginosis or simple sweat attracting legions of germs, it is quite normal. So don't cry, you.


4. Kitchen sponges are 200,000 times dirtier than toilet seats. If you're a germaphobe obsessively into cleaning, know the sponge you're holding contains 10 million bacteria per square inch. (That's why your sponge smells like a rotting corpse's anus.)


5. There are more than 3,000 different types of bacteria on the average dollar bill. According to a study by New York University, thousands of microbes infest cash. They took a swab to 20 different dollar bills and found bacteria from the skin, mouth, and even samples from indeterminate origins.



6. A lovely 20 percent of office coffee mugs carry fecal bacteria. You tell yourself you'll clean the mug during your next break, but you fill it with java instead. While you drink, you unknowingly consume thousands of microbes directly ejected out of your coworkers' butts. Dr. Charles Gerba of the University of Arizona did the research and his findings were unsettling.


7. Speaking of feces, 58 percent of public pools contain dookie. The CDC tested 161 pools, indoor and outdoor, during the summer of 2012 and found the average person drops .14 grams of butt butter in pools when he or she takes a dip.


8. A whopping 48.3 percent of microbes on New York subways don't match any known species. When Weill Cornell Medical College researchers found that 15,152 types of microorganisms inhabit subways, they noticed half of them were alien to science. They also found traces of dead anthrax organisms and 66 different types of bacteria that cause meningitis.


9. Bacterial organisms outnumber human cells 10 to 1 in every body. In fact, Popular Science says you can fill up a large soup can with the germs living inside you. And, microbes make up 1 to 2 percent of our body mass, which is a lovely thought.


10. Is the Five-Second Rule of dropping food real? Yes and no. The more time food sits on the ground the more bacteria it picks up. According to a 2007 study, dropped food gathers 150 to 8,000 bacteria every five seconds. Better make that a One-Second Rule.


11. Kissing for 10 seconds transfers roughly 80,000,000 bacteria from one mouth to another. A few nerds at the journal Microbiome found the average kiss yields disgusting amounts of cootie-swapping. (People already in a relationship swapped less because they shared the same lifestyle.) And as a funny aside, they found men reported kissing their partners 10 times a day while their female counterparts said only five.


12. Eating boogers is good for you. At least that's what academics from the University of Saskatchewan believe. When you're a small child and you consume those tasty nasal gobs, you're actually introducing pathogens to your body and building up your immune system. Great.

 

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