The '90s and early 2000s could be considered the apex of television and film. Not only did these years yield excellent stories and originality, they also showcased some serious butt. Countless babes inhabited our TV screens during these days, but none other quite as influential than those listed here. The following female characters made my childhood happy. (This list is entirely subjective, but because I have such exquisite taste in ladies, I know it'll resonate with many.)
1. Tina Carlyle - "The Mask"
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I was six when "The Mask" came out. I think it was the first time I fell in love with a woman. Cameron Diaz and that tight red dress took me from innocent wide-eyed boy to man-in-training.
2. Wendy Peffercorn - "The Sandlot"
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What made Wendy attractive to me, beyond the obvious, is that Squints actually succeeds in winning her affection. It showed she's charitable. It also showed me as a kid that dreams do come true with a little elbow grease and some serious balls.
3. Veronica Vaughn - "Billy Madison"
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So hot, want to touch the hiney.
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4. Dionne Davenport - "Clueless"
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For a few years during my youth, I was murderously jealous of Donald Faison. He got to kiss Stacey Dash in "Clueless." Stacey Dash's nose ring also got me, and when she drove onto that freeway and freaked out I just wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be all right.
5. Topanga Lawrence - "Boy Meets World"
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What did I like about Danielle Fishel as Topanga? 1) Her willingness to date a nerd. 2) Her spicy mix of indeterminate ethnicities. 3) Her knockers. I'll admit I didn't watch "Boy Meets World" as much as I should have, but when I did, well, it was quite the coming-of-age.
6. Laney Boggs - "She's All That"
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I personally liked Laney (played by Rachael Leigh Cook) as a dork. Because I felt as though I knew a secret -- a secret no sweaty jock could take from me.
7. Amanda Beckett - "Can't Hardly Wait"
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Once again, a misunderstood teen I could save. Props to Ethan Embry for getting to make out with Jennifer Love Hewitt in the end.
8. Alyssa Jones - "Chasing Amy"
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She's intelligent, she's cool, she's lesbionic. "Chasing Amy" is a story about a hetero man cracking the code and hitting it. It also features Joey Lauren Adams swapping spit with a girl. Honorable mention: Layla Maloney in "Big Daddy."
9. Gracie Hart - "Miss Congeniality"
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After "Miss Congeniality," that was it for me. I would worship Sandra Bullock until my dying days. Like many on this list, Gracie's personality won my heart.
10. Brandy - "Joe Dirt"
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Brandy is a vision. I swear, in my 26 years, I've never seen a woman pull off boyish hair better. Brittany Daniel went on to star in other bone-popping roles in "Club Dread," "White Chicks" and quite literally, "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."
11. Lola Bunny - "Space Jam"
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You're a speciesist if you don't think Lola Bunny is hot.
12. Kelly Bundy "Married ... with Children"
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She's equal parts promiscuous and idiotic, causing men the world over to adore Christina Applegate's Kelly Bundy. She likely caused more seed to spill than a bird farm, and I often wondered how Bud could resist. Weird? Yes.
13. Mary Jane Potman - "Half Baked"
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Toss that joint off the bridge, you moron.
14. Cindy Campbell - "Scary Movie"
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I especially love a girl with a sense of humor. Anna Faris' portrayal of Cindy Campbell in "Scary Movie" made me happy. I also liked the part when her boyfriend got her "stuck" on the bedroom ceiling.
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15. Vanessa Kensington - "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery"
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Elizabeth Hurley hit the big stage in 1997 in "Austin Powers." I was only nine, but I knew full well that English accent was special.
16. Rita Escobar - "Wild Wild West"
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One scene in "Wild Wild West" sticks so vividly in my mind, I could swear 1999 was yesterday. Honorable mention: Salma Hayek in "Desperado."
17. Gloria Clemente - "White Men Can't Jump"
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Save the atrocious accent, Rosie Perez was ridiculously cute in "White Men Can't Jump." There were also many cases of side boob as well.
18. Tinker Bell - "Hook"
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I was hesitant to include this one, but I looked on IMDB and found out Julia Roberts was 23. We're good. I could've included her role in "Pretty Woman," but there's just something about that Tinker Bell.
19. Roxanne - "A Goofy Movie"
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Why does Disney even make the animals hot? It completely messes with your head. Roxanne was a canine in "A Goofy Movie" with unquestionably hot features. I could lie and say she wasn't a serious crush of mine, but then that would be lying.
20. CJ Parker - "Baywatch"
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How could we forget Pamela Anderson?
1. Tina Carlyle - "The Mask"
I was six when "The Mask" came out. I think it was the first time I fell in love with a woman. Cameron Diaz and that tight red dress took me from innocent wide-eyed boy to man-in-training.
2. Wendy Peffercorn - "The Sandlot"
What made Wendy attractive to me, beyond the obvious, is that Squints actually succeeds in winning her affection. It showed she's charitable. It also showed me as a kid that dreams do come true with a little elbow grease and some serious balls.
3. Veronica Vaughn - "Billy Madison"
So hot, want to touch the hiney.
4. Dionne Davenport - "Clueless"
For a few years during my youth, I was murderously jealous of Donald Faison. He got to kiss Stacey Dash in "Clueless." Stacey Dash's nose ring also got me, and when she drove onto that freeway and freaked out I just wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be all right.
5. Topanga Lawrence - "Boy Meets World"
What did I like about Danielle Fishel as Topanga? 1) Her willingness to date a nerd. 2) Her spicy mix of indeterminate ethnicities. 3) Her knockers. I'll admit I didn't watch "Boy Meets World" as much as I should have, but when I did, well, it was quite the coming-of-age.
6. Laney Boggs - "She's All That"
I personally liked Laney (played by Rachael Leigh Cook) as a dork. Because I felt as though I knew a secret -- a secret no sweaty jock could take from me.
7. Amanda Beckett - "Can't Hardly Wait"
Once again, a misunderstood teen I could save. Props to Ethan Embry for getting to make out with Jennifer Love Hewitt in the end.
8. Alyssa Jones - "Chasing Amy"
She's intelligent, she's cool, she's lesbionic. "Chasing Amy" is a story about a hetero man cracking the code and hitting it. It also features Joey Lauren Adams swapping spit with a girl. Honorable mention: Layla Maloney in "Big Daddy."
9. Gracie Hart - "Miss Congeniality"
After "Miss Congeniality," that was it for me. I would worship Sandra Bullock until my dying days. Like many on this list, Gracie's personality won my heart.
10. Brandy - "Joe Dirt"
Brandy is a vision. I swear, in my 26 years, I've never seen a woman pull off boyish hair better. Brittany Daniel went on to star in other bone-popping roles in "Club Dread," "White Chicks" and quite literally, "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."
11. Lola Bunny - "Space Jam"
You're a speciesist if you don't think Lola Bunny is hot.
12. Kelly Bundy "Married ... with Children"
She's equal parts promiscuous and idiotic, causing men the world over to adore Christina Applegate's Kelly Bundy. She likely caused more seed to spill than a bird farm, and I often wondered how Bud could resist. Weird? Yes.
13. Mary Jane Potman - "Half Baked"
Toss that joint off the bridge, you moron.
14. Cindy Campbell - "Scary Movie"
I especially love a girl with a sense of humor. Anna Faris' portrayal of Cindy Campbell in "Scary Movie" made me happy. I also liked the part when her boyfriend got her "stuck" on the bedroom ceiling.
15. Vanessa Kensington - "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery"
Elizabeth Hurley hit the big stage in 1997 in "Austin Powers." I was only nine, but I knew full well that English accent was special.
16. Rita Escobar - "Wild Wild West"
One scene in "Wild Wild West" sticks so vividly in my mind, I could swear 1999 was yesterday. Honorable mention: Salma Hayek in "Desperado."
17. Gloria Clemente - "White Men Can't Jump"
Save the atrocious accent, Rosie Perez was ridiculously cute in "White Men Can't Jump." There were also many cases of side boob as well.
18. Tinker Bell - "Hook"
I was hesitant to include this one, but I looked on IMDB and found out Julia Roberts was 23. We're good. I could've included her role in "Pretty Woman," but there's just something about that Tinker Bell.
19. Roxanne - "A Goofy Movie"
Why does Disney even make the animals hot? It completely messes with your head. Roxanne was a canine in "A Goofy Movie" with unquestionably hot features. I could lie and say she wasn't a serious crush of mine, but then that would be lying.
20. CJ Parker - "Baywatch"
How could we forget Pamela Anderson?