Summer 2015 TV Kicks Off With Loads of New Hits

Dust off your remotes, draw the shades and let down your pants as summer television kicks into gear just as the sun comes out to play. Who wants sun spots and a six pack when you can have endless amounts of new TV hits and...a six pack? Sit back, relax and watch life and the best days of the year pass you by as you dig in with some of the biggest stars dropping into the living room on a semi-weekly basis.

Aquarius (May 2, NBC)

The Californicator himself, David Duchovny, is back with a new show about a '50s style cop walking - badge in hand - into the revolutionary era of '60s Los Angeles. Duchovny's Sam Hodiak might be fucking fewer people than normal, but he has the quick wit of Hank Moody and the street cop smarts of Agent Mulder to fuck with the generation of love until it leads him to Charlie Manson's doorstep, one of the darkest doorsteps in American history.

Hannibal (June 4, NBC)

Running back to back with "Aquarius," young Dr. Lecter bleeds "Hannibal" back into the NBC summer schedule with his third season as the young, sophisticated sociopath in training on his way up the cannibal food chain. With enough instinct and empathy for every serial killer on the planet, we see his blossoming relationship with a young FBI agent grow as he comes closer to the sadistic serial murderer we all know and love while walking the blood red carpet of marriage. #BrideOfHannibal

Orange Is The New Black (June 12, Netflix)

Everybody's guilty prison pleasure is raising the (jail) bar in its third season streaming on Netflix. With a season mantra of "sorry, not sorry" we can surely expect more unabashed she-devils, sexual shanking, tenderly erotica fiction in the making, new faces, old beefs, chicks dancing and two days of our lives thrown out the window. Thirteen new lesbian-loving, comedic renditions of any "Sons of Anarchy" episode, and we've never been more thrilled.

True Detective (June 21, HBO)

A mini-series phenomenon starring Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey has unfolded into the most anticipated sophomore season in television, this time starring Colin Farrell as one true detective and Vince Vaughn on the opposite side of the law, along with the help of sweet Rachel McAdams and hothead Taylor Kitsch. Picture "Domestic Disturbance" meets "Pride and Glory" with the format and convenience of "Friday Night Lights."

Ballers (June 21, HBO)

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is making moves off the field as a former football stud, learning to manage as a way to make the big bucks. With Rob Corddry helping add the humor, John David Washington adding the action and Taylor Cole adding the sex appeal, HBO introduces its original new series all about getting laid, getting paid and having a damn good time doing it.

The Brink (June 21, HBO)

Jack Black and Tim Robbins are the faces of HBO's newest series, "The Brink." A comedy mixed with a bit of Showtime's "Homeland" where Black and Robbins are government officials trying to prevent World War III, a trite concept showered in original humor. Witness a typically funny actor trying to be serious, and a serious actor trying to be funny.

Scream: The TV Series (June 30, MTV)

What once was a pop horror phenomenon is now a modern day drawn-out television series. With Willa Fitzgerald as the new Neve Campbell, MTV has reignited the slasher series as a 10-episode story for its first season, equipped with better phones - cellular! - and more sex appeal than its 1996 origin. Let's just hope Neve shows up to teach these tweens a lesson.

Ray Donovan (July 12, Showtime)

South Boston's gift to Hollywood returns to Showtime as Ray continues to clean up everyone's mess while he makes one of his own. With one brother in prison, a wife off the leash and a father that takes them all deeper down the rabbit's butthole, watch Ray try to control all of Hollywood's board pieces while his family shakes the table. Katie Holmes joins the cast to add a little unexpected twist and a splash of seduction in the next round of a South Boston boxing family's demise in sunny Los Angeles. "Masters of Sex" to air its new season concurrently.

Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll (July 16, FX)

Denis Leary returns to FX as a swear word-slinging, drug-loving rock star dad in his new show about finding the balance between rock star and dad before falling off the (station) wagon. Leary both created and stars in the new FX comedy as a dinosaur lead singer of rock band, The Heathens, with a lead singer daughter on the rise in her own band. Expect F-bombs, large traces of booger sugar and a barely legal hot rocker daughter Elizabeth Gillies for us to Instagram stalk.

Wet Hot American Summer (July 17, Netflix)

Step back into 1981 for the first day of camp as the 2001 classic cult comedy reclaims the heated days of oddball summer love and counselor hijinks, refashioned for the small screen in high definition by Netflix. The whole gang is back - Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler, Bradley Cooper, Michael Showalter, Janeane Garofalo, Elizabeth Banks and more - for the 8-episode reunion of all wet, hot summer reunions.

Mr. Robinson (August 5, NBC)

Craig Robinson juggles the occasional 7-to-3 life of a substitute teacher trying to keep the dream alive as a quasi-rock star of his band, The Nasty Delicious, who doesn't want to give in to growing up. Essentially, he'll be playing a barely inflated version of himself in the new NBC sitcom, a blend of "School of Rock" meets "The Cleveland Show" airing on Wednesday nights.

The Leftovers (TBD)

After a stunning debut season, HBO's "The Leftovers" is back for more with its second helping, but how much "leftovers" will there this time around? Do you see what we did there? That wasn't very good, was it? The new season will be fraught with new twists but in a new setting with a new set of supporting roles to accompany lead Justin Theroux. Liv Tyler is expected to return, hopefully in her "Empire Records" outfit.