A Big List Of Christmas Gifts For Your A-Hole Friends

Let's face it, our greatest friends also tend to be the greatest assholes in our lives. You know they've got a sense of humor, and that's what's most important. After trudging to the end of the universe for the best gifts within the a-hole demographic, a few stood out to us, many of which will have you laughing into New Year's Day.

Barack Obama Last Day Countdown Clock ($13.99)

There's always going to be at least one friend who mutters, "Obama ... " whenever something goes wrong. This countdown clock extends all the way to January 2017, and your buddy can keep a close eye on it until the day of reckoning.

Boob Muffs ($12.88)

It gets chilly in December. Boob Muffs allow for a humorous way to warm up your ears while making everyone else in the room uncomfortable. If you don't have a lady whose breasts you can place your head between, these puppies are a no-brainer.

Abe Lincoln's Log Lavatory Mist ($14.88)

If you drop mighty bombs in the bathroom, Abe Lincoln's Log Mist should eradicate the stink.

Gay Bar Soap ($8.15)

For only the most immature, "Gay Bar Soap" comes in pink (but your closeted homophobic buddy will secretly love it).

Hillary Clinton Toilet Paper ($7.81)

What could be considered a nice supplement to the "Barack Obama Last Day Countdown Clock," "Hillary Clinton Toilet Paper" is for the a-hole friend in your life with a serious distaste for Hilldog.

Mooning Garden Gnome ($13.77)

Tired of your neighbors' actual gnomes? Be the rebel of the block with your own personal "Mooning Garden Gnome." It'll effectively communicate "Screw your gnome, my gnome thinks your gnome is an idiot."

Greenman Suit ($24.95)

For fans of Charlie Kelly.

"I'm a Twat" Surprise Mug ($9.27)

The "I'm a Twat" mug may look harmless on the surface, but underneath lies a message. It might be good to add a few plain white mugs in with the gift to hide your ace in the hole. Perfect for bosses.

Borat Mankini ($13.95)

Do you live in a warm climate? If so, the "Borat Mankini" will have you scarring children's fragile minds and angering parents for years to come. Warning: Requires absurd amount of self-confidence in your package.

Toilet Mug ($9.51)

Looks like Fat Bastard just dropped a sample in your coffee. But in reality it's only a delicious cup of java.

Trunk In My Junk: Male False Advertising ($11.95)

For the friend who's a bit insecure. Like breast padding, these will give the impression he's packing heat. Just remind him to discreetly remove it prior to intercourse if he manages to bring a girl home.

Beard Head Hat ($19.99)

Beard Head has been making glorious beanies that resemble beards for quite some time now. This particular model will give your friend the bearded confidence he needs while providing much needed warmth this winter.

Watermelon Keg Tap ($19.98)

Does one of your friends like watermelons? Is one of your friends an alcoholic? If so, this gift is ideal for alcoholic watermelon lovers.

Evil Unicorn Horn for Cats ($7.00)

Cats are a-holes. So are unicorns (even though they don't exist). In the event that you'd like to warn guests that your cat is indeed a jerk, the "Evil Unicorn Horn for Cats" works wonders. It may also provide fodder for your Instagram.

Chewbacca Can Cooler ($10.39)

If you like "Star Wars" and beer, the Chewbacca Can Cooler is an effective koozie for such interests.

World's Okayest Brother ($6.99)

Is your brother only mediocre in your book? Could he improve? Motivate him to do better with this t-shirt. He'll get mad at first, but then get really gloomy and introspective, and eventually get his shit together.

The Hillary Nutcracker ($23.95)

Ouch.

Shittens ($16.99)

Mittens for poo. Pretty self-explanatory.