What did you want to be when you grew up? Maybe a bully in a '90s movie? Of course, you did! In the '90s, there were very specific looks and characteristics of those that chose to bully smaller and weaker kids and unless you wanted them making fun of you as well, you'd better fit the criteria. Here are 10 ways you too can be a bully in every '90s movie ever made.
1. A nickname that sort of sounds like you're husky
![How to Be a Bully In Every '90s Movie Ever Made, Buzz, Home Alone]()
First of all, who is giving out these nicknames? There's no way Buzz from "Home Alone" has enough friends for them to pick out a fun nickname for him. You have to wonder if Biff, Buzz, Bender, and all the other nerd tormentors got their nickname and then became a bully or the other way around. It's like the chicken and the egg, except they'd throw the egg at you and punch the chicken in the face.
2. You gotta love sports
![How to Be a Bully In Every '90s Movie Ever Made]()
If you don't have a letterman jacket on then you might as well stay home. It's an added bonus if you can spin a football on your finger and toss it into a nerd's spine for no reason whatsoever. It helps to be the star quarterback, but if not, an oversized lineman definitely helps. It is odd that you never see any bullying running backs or tight ends. Not a lot of manipulating punters out there.
3. Never afraid to stuff a dork in a locker
![How to Be a Bully In Every '90s Movie Ever Made]()
When most people see a school locker they think of a perfect place to store books and paperwork. For a bully in the '90s, it's the ideal spot to torment a smaller kid. Why? Nobody knows. It's not like it physically hurts them, but there's something about putting them into a vertical metal coffin makes you feel alive.
4. A flattop
![How to Be a Bully In Every '90s Movie Ever Made, house party, flat top]()
If you go to Great Clips and get a flattop, you've just put yourself on a life trajectory to become a bully in the '90s. It might as well come with a pet tarantula. Your parents should know something is up when they have to buy you one of those giant tubs of purple hair gel every other week. It's like Robocop's helmet, but for beating up dweebs.
5. A leather jacket
![How to Be a Bully In Every '90s Movie Ever Made]()
The leather industry wouldn't have survived the '80s and '90s if it weren't for bullies. Their insistence on wearing black leather during all seasons kept big leather afloat. Sometimes the bully would pop the collar on his leather jacket and that's how you know you were dealing with a serious psychopath. That's when it crosses over from shoving you into lockers to peddling hard drugs like marijuana.
6. Willingness to drink or even do drugs
![How to Be a Bully In Every '90s Movie Ever Made]()
That's right, these guys are so hardcore they'll even drink a beer before they can legally buy it. They even claim to like the taste of it! He probably even has armpit hair. No one has ever seen him do it, but there's a rumor around town that he does pot. Can you even imagine? Are you sure you're ready for such a rock 'n' roll lifestyle?
7. You definitely smoke
![How to Be a Bully In Every '90s Movie Ever Made]()
Don't even consider taking up the life of a bully if you don't smoke a cigarette from time to time. The most important thing you can do is keep a cigarette behind your ear or blow smoke like a fuming chimney. That way everyone knows you smoke and also a badass. No one messes with a lover of cigarettes. Not even teachers!
8. You're secretly super horny
![How to Be a Bully In Every '90s Movie Ever Made, dazed and confused, ben affleck, paddle]()
Sure you're willing to beat up any guy at any given moment, but if a girl came up and talked to you, you'd soak your button fly jeans. If she's not interested, she's a dumb-idiot-moron anyway. You say these things, but deep down you just want to kiss a girl...on the mouth! For now, paddling heinies will do.
9. You're dumb in school
![How to Be a Bully In Every '90s Movie Ever Made, mike dexter, can't hardly wait]()
Who has time to learn about geography when you have to spend so much time staring at nerds through their class window and punching your palm with your fist? You could also make the cutthroat motion with your thumb as well or imitate a geek's bifocals with fingers circling your eyes. Either way, you have much better things to do than study and educate yourself for the future.
10. Altered sleeves
![How to Be a Bully In Every '90s Movie Ever Made]()
There's only one way to wear a "Kill All Artists" shirt and that's with no sleeves on it whatsoever. You mess with that and you're smoked. Unless the hero gets you, then, you're eating pube-y pizza.
Related: The Biggest Douchebags from '90s Movies
1. A nickname that sort of sounds like you're husky
First of all, who is giving out these nicknames? There's no way Buzz from "Home Alone" has enough friends for them to pick out a fun nickname for him. You have to wonder if Biff, Buzz, Bender, and all the other nerd tormentors got their nickname and then became a bully or the other way around. It's like the chicken and the egg, except they'd throw the egg at you and punch the chicken in the face.
2. You gotta love sports
If you don't have a letterman jacket on then you might as well stay home. It's an added bonus if you can spin a football on your finger and toss it into a nerd's spine for no reason whatsoever. It helps to be the star quarterback, but if not, an oversized lineman definitely helps. It is odd that you never see any bullying running backs or tight ends. Not a lot of manipulating punters out there.
3. Never afraid to stuff a dork in a locker
When most people see a school locker they think of a perfect place to store books and paperwork. For a bully in the '90s, it's the ideal spot to torment a smaller kid. Why? Nobody knows. It's not like it physically hurts them, but there's something about putting them into a vertical metal coffin makes you feel alive.
4. A flattop
If you go to Great Clips and get a flattop, you've just put yourself on a life trajectory to become a bully in the '90s. It might as well come with a pet tarantula. Your parents should know something is up when they have to buy you one of those giant tubs of purple hair gel every other week. It's like Robocop's helmet, but for beating up dweebs.
5. A leather jacket
The leather industry wouldn't have survived the '80s and '90s if it weren't for bullies. Their insistence on wearing black leather during all seasons kept big leather afloat. Sometimes the bully would pop the collar on his leather jacket and that's how you know you were dealing with a serious psychopath. That's when it crosses over from shoving you into lockers to peddling hard drugs like marijuana.
6. Willingness to drink or even do drugs
That's right, these guys are so hardcore they'll even drink a beer before they can legally buy it. They even claim to like the taste of it! He probably even has armpit hair. No one has ever seen him do it, but there's a rumor around town that he does pot. Can you even imagine? Are you sure you're ready for such a rock 'n' roll lifestyle?
7. You definitely smoke
Don't even consider taking up the life of a bully if you don't smoke a cigarette from time to time. The most important thing you can do is keep a cigarette behind your ear or blow smoke like a fuming chimney. That way everyone knows you smoke and also a badass. No one messes with a lover of cigarettes. Not even teachers!
8. You're secretly super horny
Sure you're willing to beat up any guy at any given moment, but if a girl came up and talked to you, you'd soak your button fly jeans. If she's not interested, she's a dumb-idiot-moron anyway. You say these things, but deep down you just want to kiss a girl...on the mouth! For now, paddling heinies will do.
9. You're dumb in school
Who has time to learn about geography when you have to spend so much time staring at nerds through their class window and punching your palm with your fist? You could also make the cutthroat motion with your thumb as well or imitate a geek's bifocals with fingers circling your eyes. Either way, you have much better things to do than study and educate yourself for the future.
10. Altered sleeves
There's only one way to wear a "Kill All Artists" shirt and that's with no sleeves on it whatsoever. You mess with that and you're smoked. Unless the hero gets you, then, you're eating pube-y pizza.
Related: The Biggest Douchebags from '90s Movies